How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto
by NightwriterJuly
Summary: Your typical reincarnation SI, however, this soul wasn't sent to the Narutoverse by herself. Of course, she doesn't know that just yet. First, she needs to take care of Naruto and manipulate as many people as she can to prevent the disastrous events in the cannonverse.
1. Hello Uzumaki Yuzuha

HOW UZUMAKI YUZUHA RUINED NARUTO

|1|

Welcome to my first SI. This is inspired by all of the creative SI's out there. You SI authors have my respect. It takes guts to write what you guys write and I'm proud to officially join your ranks.

Readers, please check my page for the SI's that I've favorited; they're truly amazing and inspirational.

I'll be editing previous chapters continuously no matter how far along I am in this fic, so if you see something off, say something and if you have questions please let me know. I'll be more than happy to answer them!

Be gentle.

-x-

I fell. Yep. Me. Twenty-four-year-old me. I wasn't drunk or anything either.

It was winter when I died. The stairs that lead down to my floor at my house were covered with a soft, high-pile carpet made of who-knows-what. Whatever the who-knows-what material was, it wasn't compatible with fuzzy socks. Not one bit.

I was carrying snacks and drinks downstairs for me and my boyfriend; two mugs of hot tea, a bowl of fruit, and a plate of pretzels. We were marathoning Attack on Titan because it was one of the few anime that my boyfriend liked. I remember calling his name, shutting the upstairs door with my elbow and stepping down on the first step. The stair case didn't have a landing at the top and there was little room for error.

Naturally— because this shit only happens to me— I lost my balance and flew forward. I didn't stand a chance. My knees hit the steps first. I know I cursed something awful that probably turned into a scream midway. Next, there was pain as the scenery blurred and spun and soon afterwards, I heard a sickening crack, and then… _blank_.

Here's the weird part. I blinked.

I know, right? I blinked.

Let me tell you why that's significant… Ready for it?

Dead people don't blink.

I realized it wasn't quiet, so I deduced that I definitely wasn't in the hospital. In fact, my heart was pounding. I reacted to a crashing noise and a roar that reverberated in my chest like the explosions from fireworks on the fourth of July before I could spare a second to get my head out of my ass. It literally happened in this order:

CRASH!

"I'm going to put up a barrier!" In an _eerily_ familiar voice that logically I shouldn't understand.

ROAR!

My chest vibrated and I rolled. Pure instinct.

"Eh?" A female voice; confused. Also familiar. This is when the panic kicked in. I was on all fours and I _had_ to look up. I just had to. I wanted to confirm if this delusion was serious or not. There was no way that roar was Kurama. There was no way I was hearing Minato and Kushina.

I'm a total Naruto dweeb. There's, like, only a .01 % chance that I'm mistaking the voices I'm hearing.

I heard crying. It was a baby. I looked up.

 _Holy shit_.

There was Kushina, on the ground with bags under her eyes. Chains were coming out of her back, loosely tied around a _huge_ , _angry_ fox—Kurama. Minato stood not too far from her, body facing Kurama but sharp blue eyes on me.

I was amazed at the sheer _size_ of Kurama compared to Kushina, Minato, and me. The trees were moving around so realistically… everything looked real. Like really real. It was one of those moments when the graphics of a game are so good you get confused for a second. What I was seeing and what I knew wasn't real were clashing.

"Are you...Uzumaki?" Kushina asked, slowly.

I understood her. The woman was freaking speaking Japanese and I. UNDERSTOOD. HER. I just...gaped.

"Shikki fuujin!" Minato wasted no time. Like some sort of demon from hell the death reaper appeared and sucked the kyuubi's chakra out while damning Minato's soul. I couldn't _believe_ I was seeing all of this. For some reason, I _sensed_ everything too. Everything felt just... _bad_ as it moved around in my very, _very_ confused brain.

Naruto was still crying on the sealing altar.

Shit! Wait a minute! This is the part where –

"NO!" I cried and lunged towards Kushina. At least _she_ has to survive. She _has_ to!

I lunged at the same time Kurama swiped at Naruto with his claws.

Well, I fucking lunged wrong for some reason and fell on my face.

By then it was too late. The claw busted through her and Minato and their warm blood splattered onto my skin as I kneeled only a foot away from the sealing altar. The blonde hokage had a piercing gaze trained on me as blood leaked out of his mouth.

"Kushina... say goodbye to Naruto." His sharp eyes softened as he spoke to me. "You're that Uzumaki girl that was supposed to move into Konoha with her parents today, Yuzuha-chan, ne?"

Dumbly, I nodded. It was more like an instinct. Somewhere in my mind I knew that was a fact, even though it wasn't because last I remember, I was going to watch Attack on Titan with my boyfriend.

"I'm sorry to burden you so heavily, but the same blood in your veins flows through my son." His eyes flicked towards the still-crying Naruto and then back to me. "Would you please take care of him?"

This has to be a dream. Of course it's a dream. I dream crazy shit all the time. This wouldn't be the first anime-related dream I've had. The last dream I had involving Naruto was one where I was sitting in team seven's classroom. So yeah, this has to be a dream.

But wait…

You can't _die_ in a dream. You always wake up when you die. I remember dying. I really do. But then again, my dreams are outlandish enough, where, I'm pretty sure that even if I died in one, it would continue exactly like this. It's definitely a dream. A really fucking _cool_ dream. Maybe when I wake up I'll write an awesome SI on fanfiction about it.

So will I take care of Naruto?

Hell _yeah_ I will!

"Of course." I replied. In Japanese. Again, it was, like, instinct or something. I just _knew_ it. That's another thing that convinced me it was a dream. In dreams you just know things even if when you wake up the things you knew in your dreams make no sense.

Minato smiled and Kushina coughed out blood, but smiled too.

"Let's say our goodbyes, Kushina." He spoke softly and then his eyes warmly landed on Naruto. I've never seen such a sad smile in real life, like ever. It broke my heart and I think I started to cry.

He performed some hand-signs. It was _so_ freaking awesome to watch that it completely distracted me from the sadness of the moment.

I'm _so_ glad my dreams are this detailed. I'm actually pretty upset that I won't be able to tell anyone about this dream. I'm not friends with anyone equally as dorky as I am. But fanfiction? Hell _yes_ this is going into one!

"When Jiraiya-sama trains him he should be able to access our chakras. I'm sealing them in him now." Minato whispered.

Kushina said her really long goodbye, _just_ how she said it in the actual manga/anime. Seeing this up close I'm surprised she managed to live _that_ long. I teared up and cried again. Even without the music to set the tone in the background like in the anime, the scene was enough to make a person cry. Towards the end, Minato motioned for me to come closer, so I did. I kind of shimmied forward on my achy knees.

Then, I stood up and for some reason I was really short. Like, _really_ short. But whatever, it's a dream. Some things in dreams just don't make sense… like the ones I have where I'm driving a car from the back seat and somehow seeing the windshield like I would if I were sitting in the front seat.

"I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I believe you will help my son do great things." Minato said softly. Then…

"Fuuin!"

And there was blankness yet again.

 _Fucking awesome._

Except… When I woke up, something was _definitely_ fucked up. I was in the hospital. _Not_ fucking awesome. I don't know _what_ happened. How was I able to have _that_ kind of dream while passed out?

I sat up and winced. Morning breath was nasty. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. What the _hell_ happened? And if I'm in the hospital where the _hell_ is my family? And my boyfriend? What the _hell_?

Then, I scratched my head.

And I gasped.

Because some _asshole_ died my hair _bright red_ , like, I'm talking _scarlet red_ while I was knocked out!

Now I'm pissed. _Pissed_.

"What the _fuck_!" I didn't really catch what I was saying, but I was too mad to really register my own words. It was one of those situations where you're _so_ mad you really don't realize what you're saying. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and paused.

Why am I so skinny?

I mean, I've been fit for a while, but I have to admit I am pretty hourglass-shaped. My legs were always a little curvy.

I poked my skinny, little thigh.

How long have I been out to have lost this much weight in fat and muscle? Have I atrophied? If so, is it even safe to stand up? But if I'm atrophied then how come I was able to sit up so easily?

Nothing's making any sense.

First, I'm watching Attack on Titan with Tommy, then I go upstairs for snacks and tea. Then I trip. Then I have a trippy dream. An _awesome_ trippy dream. The slipping and falling and watching Attack on Titan must have been a dream too, though, because apparently I died when I fell, which isn't true because I'm alive. Whatever, I wake up and I'm in the hospital and some asshole died my hair red while I was atrophying. Have I been in a coma? But... people don't dream in a coma! What the _fuck_!

My heart started to pound and I put my hand to my chest to steady it.

Then I _really_ panicked because my _boobs were gone_! Gone! My beautiful, precious C-34 boobs were _gone_!

I screamed. _Loud_.

MY BOOBS!

This _has_ to be a nightmare. What the _fuck_!

Just as I was about to lift my dress to see if maybe they cut them off because I developed breast cancer while in my maybe-coma, someone entered the room.

It was a brown-haired nurse with alarmed, blue eyes. Her hair was in a bun and she was wearing…something that nurses don't wear. It was a nurse-looking white dress. She had the weird nurse hat and everything, too. I thought the last time nurses dressed like that was in the 1940s and 50s.

"Calm down, calm down!"

She's not speaking English! She's _not_ speaking English! Why can I understand her if she's speaking Japanese!? My head was spinning and I felt nauseous because my stomach dropped down to my _ass_ when I realized I have no boobs.

 _No boobs_. Tears welled up in my eyes. Should I ask her where my boobs went?

"Yuzuha-chan, please, don't cry." She spoke softly as she approached me and placed two gentle hands on my shoulders. _Why_ in hell is she so _big_? What _happened_ to me? _Why_ is she calling me Yuzuha!?

Wait… wait wait wait wait wait _wait!_

 _"You're that Uzumaki girl that was supposed to move into Konoha with her parents today, Yuzuha-chan, ne?"_

No.

No no no no no no _no._

I took a deep breath, because it was getting _really_ hard to breathe. The nurse's face paled and she pressed a button on the wall.

No. _No_.

That was a _dream_ right? A _dream_!

But I remembered everything in _detail_.

Oh fuck…

I got dizzy and the room seemed to tilt when the dread and insanity started to sink in. My deep, quick breaths weren't helping me. The nurse pushed me down. That triggered the instinct to freak out and I shoved her, but I was no match for her. I _felt_ other people coming. Small people? They _felt_ small, at least.

"What's going on?" A male voice asked.

"Let me go!" I screamed desperately. She was _still_ holding me against the bed. I started to kick my legs. I managed to knee her in the ribs but she was being stubborn.

"Get Hokage-sama!" The same man shouted to the small-feeling people in the room.

 _Hokage-sama_!? Why do I know these people are here when I can't even see them!?

"Let. Me. _Go!_ "

"She needs a sedative! Hurry Taisei-san!" The woman shouted above me.

"No!" I screamed. I don't want any sedatives! What the _fuck_!

My panic calmed down as I realized I would have to explain to them that I didn't want any sedatives and all I wanted was information; to know what happened to me. Knowledge would make me calm. Knowledge=power=control. I need control over the situation.

It was too late to say anything, though. An iron-grip grasped my wrist and seconds later I felt a warmth travel up my upper arm, over my shoulders and up my neck. Everything blurred from there.

* * *

The next time I woke up, I was _ready_. Groggy, and exhausted, but _ready_. Memory hit me and I realized that _somehow_ I died and ended up in Naruto. The soft coo of a baby interrupted my recollection of events and I immediately snapped my head to my right…and _gasped_.

There stood Hiruzen in _amazing_ detail. His age spots and wrinkles were in real-life-HD. And his chakra was _humongous_. I was amazed and just stared. He had the hat and _everything_! I didn't realize he was holding Naruto in a blanket until the baby boy cooed again. My eyes fell to his blonde head of hair.

Minato wanted me to take care of him. I told him I would, thinking it was just an awesome dream.

"You're very calm for someone that attacked a nurse just hours ago, Uzumaki Yuzuha-chan." He joked in an ancient, rumbling tone. My mouth was hanging open so I shut it. Should I say something? I should at least apologize.

"I'm sorry." It came out in Japanese, but honestly…if I think about it… I don't really remember English. Japanese is just…right. It's in my head. It's how I think. It partially feels unsettling because I _know_ in my mind I should be speaking another language, but once I speak or think in Japanese and it settles in, it begins to feel _right_. Normal.

"I'm sorry." I squeaked out in a small tone. I sound like a little girl. I probably _am_ a little girl. I woke up in some little girl's body. _That's_ why my thighs are so skinny. _That's_ why I have no boobs.

Hiruzen shook his head.

"No, _I_ apologize, Yuzuha-chan. You're only six and you've already lost your parents. It's a miracle you survived."

What? I lost my parents? Somewhere inside, my chest ached for no reason. Tears welled in my eyes and I had no idea why I was sad. I lost my _boyfriend_. I lost my _family._ Whoever this Yuzuha is, I never knew her parents. Regardless, he made me realize that I _did_ die and that I never would see my loved ones again. My boyfriend would probably be accused of pushing me down the stairs.

For a while I cried because of _course_ , my dumb ass had to die.

Hiruzen placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"It will be alright. There are some things you should know, however."

I looked at him and nodded. My tears can wait. I'm a big sister again. I had two siblings when I was alive; a seventeen-year-old sister and a six-year-old little brother. Now, it was time for me to protect Naruto.

… _And_ the Uchiha clan. Let's get down to fucking business. I should probably take time to get used to this world and everything, but I was _never_ one to be held back by shock or surprise. I'll break down and panic and cry and stress out when I have time, but right now I have to get stronger. I _have_ to. I _have_ to take out Danzo. I _need_ power. I _need_ it. It's a good thing I was reborn as an Uzumaki. Maybe this girl was supposed to die during the Kyuubi attack in the original cannonverse and I just fucked everything up, but regardless, the Uzumaki clan is _still_ a powerful, respected clan. I can use that to my advantage.

Let the games begin. I'll have to somehow become a prodigy and fuck Danzo over. I need to hit the books. In fact, I need to start running laps like _right now_. I hope this conversation with Hiruzen doesn't last too long.

He explained how inside of me, there is a "terrible monster", the same one who killed the yondaime and his wife last night. He swore me to secrecy and asked me not to tell Naruto about his parentage until he gets old enough— which I don't give a fuck I'm telling him when he asks me, anyway even if I said I wouldn't— and told me that for now, I'd be living in a small apartment and that Konoha's Displaced Child Act would fund my food, shelter, and clothing needs until I became a genin and could support myself, but since I'd be helping Hiruzen take care of Naruto, the DCA would continue to supply me with what I needed until Naruto became a genin.

It turned out that my parents had already enrolled me in Konoha's academy, which is another thing I can cross off of my "to-do" list. Today was supposed to be my first day, October 11th, but I'll start tomorrow, October 12th.

 _Awesome_. The sooner the better. I had my work cut out for me.

After everything was said and done, he left me in the care of an anbu that silently took me home. I felt like the man was mad at me for some reason. I remembered that I had Kurama in me now, and figured he was probably blaming the death of one of his loved ones on me.

I didn't give a shit. I really didn't. I've never cared about others' opinions of me. Life is too short. Really, take it from a dead person. I died at twenty four. _Twenty-four_. I'm pissed because I never got to travel the world like I planned.

Do all of your important shit first and don't get stuck at a nine-to-five for sixty years then complain about not being able to do anything when you're seventy and free of work and responsibilities.

Take my word for it. Get your education first, and then work a job for a short time, gain the funds to go to some country and see the world. See as much as you can. The ticket is the most expensive thing, everything else while you're there isn't too bad, unless you're in a country that's part of the European Union. Then you're fucked.

Anyway, when I got to the apartment, I realized by the shape of the wooden balcony, that it was Naruto's apartment in cannon. Awesome. I sat down in the center of the Spartan room, consisting of a small kitchen, bedroom and dining area all situated in an open floor plan with a bathroom door off to the side, and a window opening up to the _neighbor's_ balcony. In cannon he used that balcony to jump out onto the street but apparently, it was never his. His neighbor must've been _pissed_. Anyway, I inhaled, and then exhaled. The best way to get any internal chakra/ki/spirit energy/chi shit done is through meditation, right? All the anime characters do it.

After a while, I realized it was hard for me to focus. My mind has always worked too fast for me to focus, but for some reason I felt antsy, like I wanted to just move and run for hours and hours. Everything just seemed so _slow_ compared to me. Not by a lot, but by enough to kind of irritate me. I growled a little and took a deep breath… _again_.

I was able to relax once I applied a little bit of discipline to my focus and that's when I realized that if I tried just a _little_ I could sense _a lot_ ; small animals, like the squirrels on the telephone lines outside; the neighbors below me having sex— judging by the movement of their chakra— the seven anbu stationed around the apartment complex, etc. If I closed my eyes I could actually _see_ bodies shaped out of chakra. Most of them were blue, some were green and others were a mix of the two. It was interesting that there were only blue and green chakras. Why not purple or yellow or magenta?

I guess I have the Eye of Kagura thing that Karin has. Not surprising. I'm Uzumaki, afterall. I probably have the chakra-chains ability, too. I definitely have the red hair that keeps freaking me out every five seconds. Speaking of which, I haven't even looked at myself in the mirror. In the hospital they gave me tan shorts and a yellow t-shirt to wear, plus _awesome,_ blue ninja sandals and toiletries. I opened my eyes, crawled off the floor, amazed that I didn't even have to stretch myself out thanks to my super-youth (Gai-sensei pun completely intended) and walked to the bathroom.

Maybe having this body wouldn't be so bad. It hurt a lot less than mine did when I was alive. I worked on my feet all damn day _and_ did a lot of running… in the wrong shoes, of course, because that just _would_ happen to me. I probably had numerous untreated and badly-healed mini-injuries. I know that I had to go to work in a knee brace towards the end, though I _do_ have one thing I'm proud of though: In my twenty-four years of life, I _never_ broke a bone. _Yep_ , not one, and it's because I was lactose and never drank milk like the advertisements tried to brainwash all of us to do. In any case, this body didn't _hurt_ and I would take full advantage of that.

Anyway, I'm shorter than I'm used to, but hey, I'm faster too, and for a six year old kid I have some serious muscle. I have everything I need to fake being a prodigy. Granted, I'd be lying to everyone's faces because I have a _huge_ headstart in this world, thanks to my nerdiness, but it's what's necessary to protect Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Itachi and Shisui and the rest of the Uchiha clan.

Stepping up on the wooden stool-because I'm that short - I looked in the mirror; Shoulder-length scarlet hair, and big gray eyes... My eyes definitely carried over from my last life... How interesting... and a temporarily rectangular, but solid body. At least I wasn't scrawny. I lifted up my shirt and smirked at the 8-pointed seal on my stomach. It's _cool_. I'm six years old _and_ I have a freaking _awesome_ tattoo!

I sensed one of the Anbu jumping off the roof and I got an idea. I dropped my shirt and crossed my arms. What if I watched their chakra move around? Maybe I could learn something... I knew the theory behind walking on walls and stuff but it would be nice to see it happen in action. I have yet to discover my own chakra despite stalking other peoples' but once I find it, it would be nice to see what I'm supposed to do with it to make it do what I want.

So I walked out of the bland, white-on-white themed bathroom, and sat back down on the wooden floor in the center of my studio-esque apartment and watched my prison guards for a while. I watched the even pulsation of their chakra to their feet, which spread in a small pool to whatever surface they were sticking to. One guy summoned a cat— _that_ was cool to see. I began to turn my observations inwards to see if I could find my own little thrum of energy, but I got interrupted.

I sensed a smooth, and velvety chakra approach my door and knock. I hopped out of my meditative pose and realized that it was really late. The sad, blue alarm clock on the nightstand next to my twin bed showed that it was way past a six-year-old's bedtime. Ten o'clock to be precise.

I opened the door to one hell of a good-looking Uchiha man, apparently in the police force, judging by his unmistakable clothes. However, a better look at his face showed that he was younger than I thought; seveteen, eighteen at most… well… oops and definitely _ew_. 'Never making _that_ mistake again. I'm definitely _not_ a cougar. Honestly though, his build and ultra-serious expression made him look like a grown man at first glance. Now, though, he was smiling and you could see the glow of his skin, which gave away his age. He was holding onto two, big boxes. They probably weren't really that big, but I'm small so right now they look huge.

"Good evening!" He greeted kindly. "Would you be Yuzuha-chan?"

Wow, nicest Uchiha, like, ever. I guess they're not _all_ assholes like the fanfictions make them seem.

"Yes that's me. Who're you?" I asked in the only tone I knew how to ask— an adult one. Not sexy, or anything, just not childish, either.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and cleared his throat.

"Uh, right. I'm Uchiha Sanno. Hokage-sama sent me with some food, clothes and academy books for you to look over before tomorrow." He explained.

I smiled at him. Might as well start making connections to the Uchiha sooner rather than later, right?

"Thanks! Did he send any tea?" I asked. "Because I could make you some." I offered and he chuckled.

"I'm not sure what he sent, food-wise, but I'm okay on tea. Thank you for the offer though, that was very nice of you."

"Okay Sanno-nii. Arigato!" I kept a happy smile on my face as I opened my arms to take the boxes.

"Careful now, they're heavy." He cautioned as he placed them in my arms. Surprisingly, I was able to carry them. The boxes were kinda heavy, but I sucked it up because I need to get used to it.

He smiled at my determination.

"Well then, I'm off—

"Wait!"

He was starting to turn to leave, but his head snapped back in my direction, short, straight hair never shifting out of place. Damn Uchiha, they all have nice hair. He gave me a questioning look and I manned up and asked him.

"Could you see if Hiru-jii could send me some weapons and weights? I want to take my training seriously and be as productive as possible." I asked. I must have freaked him out with the seriousness of my question, because for a moment his eyes widened a little before he shook his head, giving himself some excuse as to why I'm not being the distraught, shy little girl he expected to see at the door.

"Uh, sure, Yuzuha-chan. I'll ask him for you. I don't know if he'll send _me_ back with anything else, but I hope you get the things you want, ne?" He shot me a close-eyed smile and I nodded.

"Arigato Sanno-nii!"

"Mn. Goodnight." He waved, turned and I shut the door.

I ransacked the boxes as soon as I felt him leave the building. I didn't give a _shit_ about the clothes or most of the food. What I was looking for was the _books_. I grabbed a small package of dried seaweed, a book on chakra and a water bottle and settled down on my little spot in the center of the room.

By midnight, I had all the theories on chakra memorized and learned that academy classes started bright and early at eight am. My schedule, complete with my class room number and directions to the academy were printed on a sheet inside one of the beginner books on kunoichi flower arranging, which I think is utter horseshit. If I get stuck in that class I'm going to stuff dirt into some girl's kimono.

Thankfully, the crappy blue clock on the nightstand was actually functioning and I was able to set the alarm for six. I usually got up at six in my last life anyway, so it would be no big deal for me to do so now. Besides, I wanted to work out a little before going to the school anyway.

* * *

The next morning went exactly as planned. I did every exercise sans gym equipment that I knew and could possibly perform in my apartment without waking the neighbors and then showered. I dressed in a yellow t-shirt and red shorts, shoveled some food down my throat, brushed my teeth and hair and then dipped out.

I got to the academy a half hour early and watched as some kids my age file into my classroom. They all gave me weird looks, but I ignored their intimidation tactics and stared right back at them. My unperturbed demeanor must have scared them, because they left me alone. No one said anything to me. Not even a hello, which was fine with me. I'm not here to make friends with cannon fodder. I'm here to get a headband so I can kill Danzo.

I was pissed as all hell when the teacher, a middle-aged man with short, grey hair, a chunnin vest and aged, brown eyes walked in.

 _Why_ , you ask?

Because there was no Uchiha Itachi in sight and _damn it_ I know he still has another year or two left of the academy. I got stuck in some class probably full of civilian kids that would eventually become fodder.

Fantastic.

How do I twist this one around?

I have to seem freakishly smart. That's the only way around it. Even if it _doesn't_ get me into Itachi's class, it _should_ get me to graduate around the same time as him.

I hope you've figured out my plan by now.

I'm going to stalk that poor kid's life and intervene on the shitty things that happen to him as much as I can…

But in a totally _not_ creepy stalker kind of way. I'm smooth about things like that. I always was and always will be.

You see, it was always easy for me to manipulate people. That's a horrible thing to admit, right? Well, I studied a little bit too much psychology and had a little bit _too_ good of a feel for people. It turned out eventually that I was an INTJ personality type. I thought I was arrogant by _knowing_ that I'm smarter than most people, but it turns out that that's normal for INTJ's. We're smart, smooth, and manipulative, we _know_ it and we make up about 2% of the population.. _max_. As an INTJ _female_ I made up only .08% of the population.

Cool, huh?

Anyway, yeah, I have big plans for _this_ world and I'll be damned if I let some shitty academy placement get in my way.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha?"

I stood up, alert, ready.

"Hai?" I responded to the sensei.

"Please come introduce yourself."

I started to walk down the center stairway separating the weird bleacher-desks and walked up to the sensei. I stuck my hand out. He gave me a weird look before he shook it. I made sure to grip as firmly as I could with my little six-year-old hand. Men understood each other through handshakes; did you know that? Apparently a handshake, depending on how it's done, can tell them who's the bitch of the duo. It's all body language psychology. I'm not a man, but I need to make one _hell_ of an impression, so this will have to do for now.

"What's your name, sensei?" I asked, before he could even open his mouth. Again, he seemed startled and then kind of weirded out, like in a bad way… like in a _suspicious_ way… which is what I wanted. I _wanted_ him to keep an eye on me. I _wanted_ him to know who _I_ am.

"You can call me Ushiru-sensei." He instructed.

"It's nice to meet you." I grinned, then let his hand go, and turned to face the classroom.

"My name is Uzumaki Yuzuha. It's nice to meet you." I spoke and smiled.

I saw some kids whispering in the back, but most of them, in unison, said "It's nice to meet you too". It was creepy how rehearsed it was.

I sat back down in my seat and paid attention to the lesson. It was about the benefits of a good diet to the physical body and mumbo jumbo that I already knew. Meh.

In my old life, I went to college late. I went through some shit in my life, and I worked a million different jobs for about five years before I went back to school, but I can honestly say that that helped me see more of life, and when I finally had to pay for school _myself_ … well, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life and you could bet your ass that I was going to do well or die trying. So I did well.

Actually I did well _and_ died trying! Hah! Get it?

Yeah, bad pun. You gotta laugh when you're dead and shoved into some six year old girl's body. But anyway, I was a good student in my old life, so it won't be hard to be a good student here.

Lunchtime sucked. I got picked on because of my red hair—not surprising— and because some kid said his parents said that I was part of a cursed clan that let the kyuubi loose the other night.

 _Hah_. And here it was a recurring theme in Naruto that the Uchiha were cursed. How funny.

Anyway, I don't take shit from people. I just don't. I don't have time for shit. So I stood up for myself. It would be illogical to let them push me around. Kids are cruel and that's a known fact. Some of them just need a good ol' fashioned beat-down from someone their age.

"Take that back or I'll hit you." I calmly instructed as I crossed my arms and tried to be a bigger person than the snobby little brown-haired boy and his trio of losers behind him. Tch. Snot-nosed _brats_.

"What, _tomato-head_? If you hit me I'll call the hokage! No one likes you anyway! I bet he'll kick you out of the village!"

Hah. Fat chance. That guy is going to see me as a granddaughter, no matter _what_ I have to do to put that in his head… Which, by the way, I already have a plan for.

I swung at him, as promised, because he didn't take his words back. He dodged. He was pretty quick, truthfully, but I was focusing hard on his chakra. He made a move to grab my hair but I pulled back just fast enough and sent an awfully-coordinated kick at his thigh. It connected.

" _Ow_!"

By then, two of his cronies tackled me while the third one helped him up. I was kicking, punching and grunting as they tried to grab my arms and legs to hold me down. We definitely had an audience by now and I knew it wouldn't be long before they called Ushiru-sensei. So I flailed and wiggled so much they got tired of trying to hold me down.

I was expecting that.

Naruto fun fact #572: Uzumaki have killer stamina.

And you can be sure as hell that I used that to my advantage. I crawled to my feet and kicked both kids as quickly as possible just as brown-haired-douchebag #1 geared up to run at me. I put my arms up in defense, only because I sensed Ushiru-sensei coming. Douchebag#1 landed a kick dead-center of the "x" my arms made. I didn't budge but _man_ I felt it! My bones must've moved a little there. My arm of course was pulsating heat and pain just as Ushiru-sensei stepped in between us and glared at douchebag#1, _and_ his group. Apparently they were either well-known bullies, or someone told him that they started it because there wasn't even a _question_ in his mind about my innocence in the situation. After the bullies were punished and the scene we made was over, I made a big show of being _oh so grateful_ to him and earned some brownie points before getting a complement from him on my "beginner's taijutsu form" and then went back inside the school. Huh… who would've thought that that cliché sort of block was actually a _thing?_

The rest of the day after that was easy. We went over math, which was algebra II, which I rocked at anyway. After that, we went over some of the tactical strategies involved in made-up battle scenarios, which I also rocked at because I play shogi and chess _and_ watch _and_ read Naruto all the time. My boyfriend was a chess/shogi fanatic so we often played together. I got a lot of practice with him. Thus, strategizing was easy. It came naturally to me.

Like I said, I have all the components needed to fake being a "born prodigy". All I need is the time and the right opportunities to prove myself.

The day came to an end and instead of going home and moping, I stopped at a yakitori stand on my way to where I thought the training grounds were.

The adults didn't like me very much. The yakitori guy spit on my food and gave it to me for free, thinking it would make me upset and not want to eat it. He said that because I wanted the food it was already cursed so I could just take it and then he spat on it.

Well, fuck him, because I took those four yakitori sticks, held up the one he spat on most, smirked and bit into it like it was the best thing ever. I even made a show of thanking him and telling him how good it was.

He was appalled and so were the people around the stand. It was great; I felt proud of myself.

I moved on and followed the chakra I could sense towards the west side of the village. There were multiple ones in that direction, all flashing wildly. Of the three groups of four I could sense, one was always stronger than the rest. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that they were a bunch of genin teams with their jounin sensei.

Thus, that's where the training grounds were. I quickly made my way over, throwing the yakitori sticks out in a trashcan just outside of where the scenery began to be woodsy. The anbu that followed me formed a tighter group around my vicinity now that there were more trees to take cover in.

After ambling around for a bit, I picked a nice, small, secluded place to train in. It was a grassy clearing, surrounded by huge, thick bushes with one, _enormous_ Christmas tree in the dead center. Lots of leaves and vines grew up the tree and there was plenty of floral debris surrounding its base. It was perfect. The limbs and branches of the tree were so wide they blocked out most of the late afternoon sun above, save for some tiny patches of light here and there that dust and bugs floated through. I took and deep breath.

The lungs and nostrils of this body weren't used to the woodsy air in this land. I was thankful for that because wherever Uzumaki Yuzuha was from, it wasn't from Konoha and because of that I got to _really_ enjoy the fresh air.

No where on Earth—at least the Earth _I_ was from— had air this clean and believe me I traveled to a few woodsy countries in my time— not many, or as many as I wanted to travel to, but definitely a few. The amount of pollution in the air—even if it was only from a few first world countries already trying to go green— made the air there an entirely different beast from the air here.

I enjoyed it for a minute and then set my books down.

Today, I was going to try to walk up the Christmas tree.

I wasn't dumb enough to think that it would be easy even _with_ watching the anbu from yesterday.

Speaking of which, I shifted my attention to the anbu tailing me today. Thank _God_ they followed me; It made for the perfect scenario. They can stick to their tree branches or move around while they're bored watching me and I can learn based off of what I feel from them without them even knowing.

Awesome.

But first, I did my regular exercises that I did when I was alive; sit ups, push-ups, leg-lifts, alternated crunches, and that one core ab exercise I learned from p90x that involved keeping your legs and upper body lifted while moving around.

Then I ran laps around the tree. I ran until I was tired, which equated to an actual two hours since Uzumaki Yuzuha had the stamina of a race horse and the obvious experience of an Olympic runner. In my old life, I only managed to last an hour at my best while distance running. Again, I'm selfishly happy that my body here isn't crap like it was there in my old life.

Anyway, once I had a good runner's high, I slowed to a ten-minute walk to chill myself out and sat down to meditate. You know how in the tri-state area there is no way in hell you can have total silence unless you're in a padded room? Well here, in the Narutoverse that isn't a problem. Aside from the natural fauna skittering around and flora being blown in the gentle breeze, there was nothing. No cars, no bike bells, no dogs barking or children crying or that _annoying_ ice cream truck that would roll by my house every Sunday morning—my only damn day off. Nothing. Total and utter peace and quiet.

I cleared my mind and thought of nothing but the color white. I thought so hard on it that it was all I saw with my closed eyes, not even the ever fluctuating chakra I could sense bothered me as I blocked it out.

Right before I was about to enter the point of no return where I'd be in a trance for hours on end, I shifted my focus inwards; on my lungs, on my pulse, my stomach, everything that was me physically.

It seemed like the only logical way to discover your own chakra. You have to focus on yourself right? Why not use the meditation techniques I already know of to help with that?

God knows how much later I felt a heavy mass of _something_ right in the middle of my body, right beneath my solar plexus. It almost felt like… like a bathtub. And I only say "bathtub" because it feels warm. And it flows. It really does move steadily, like a stream; kind of like the bathtub has a leak in it and it ended up trickling into rivers throughout my body.

I didn't waste any valuable time being surprised.

I moved the rivers. I directed them into two massive rivers outwards towards my arms, and even made the bathtub water spin faster in the center of my body. Interestingly enough, the faster I spun it, the more it spread and grew, like a whirlpool.

"Aren't you a little too young to be experimenting with chakra?"

 _What the hell!_

I sucked in a gasp and popped open my eyes as I lost all concentration on what I was doing and any grasp I had on my chakra. My heart was pounding.

And it didn't stop pounding…

…

Because there stood Uchiha Shisui grinning down at me like the sun itself from his perch on a tree branch.

I was so internally focused I _completely_ tuned everything out, even approaching chakra.

I quickly got my shit together and cleared my throat, standing up in the process to face him directly.

"I'm already behind as it is." I replied cryptically. His smile faded a notch. Oops.

"Uh-huh…" He replied curiously, "What were you trying to do?"

I couldn't believe it. He looked so _real._ I mean, it was one thing to see Hiruzen up close while I was still in shock over my death and rebirth but another to see Uchiha friggin' Shisui while in my right mind. I mean, come _on-_ I could see every little fiber and strand of his shirt! It was cotton, by the way. It was the typical dark, Uchiha shirt from the anime and he wore long navy pants tucked into his sandals. His forehead protector was on his head but his baby face clued me in that he probably _just_ became a genin or had only been one for a short time. He _was_ older than Itachi by a year or two right? It makes sense. Everything adds up so far.

"I was trying to find my chakra and climb that tree without my hands." I explained and pointed to the tree.

He whistled in an impressed manner.

"Wow all that in one afternoon?" He asked.

I nodded quietly and he grinned cheerfully.

"Mind if I help?"

Oh. My. God. Someone up there was looking out for me today. Yes, Uchiha friggin' Shisui was _offering_ his prodigious help. Amen. I figured that I'd introduce myself at this point. I stuck out my hand, even though he was still on his tree branch. Grinning like the sun yet again he jumped down and grabbed it in a firm shake.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha. Nice to meet you…" I introduced myself, unable to help the excited smile that broke out on my face.

"Uchiha Shisui." He let go of my hand. "You have amazing Chakra control for a puny first-timer." He ribbed me in a good natured manner and I smirked.

"I might be puny now, but one day I won't be and you'll regret saying that." I shot back, promisingly. Just you wait Shisui… if I play my cards right I'll knock you on your ass one day…

…Maybe.

"Oh-hoh. Big talk. Let's see what you got." He challenged as he boldly motioned towards my Christmas tree.

I turned to face it promptly, even though I was nowhere near ready to chakra-walk.

He's obviously not planning on making this easy or really helping much, now that I made bold proclamations of making him eat his words someday. That's fine though, I can adapt, so there's no point in complaining.

"Alright." I replied in a determined tone. His giddy, dancing chakra was a welcoming sensation in my mind but it distracted me from my own, dense energy.

"Could you stop doing that?" I asked. He looked at me funny when I turned to face him. "That… fluttery thing with your chakra. You're really hyped. It's distracting." He looked surprised for a moment and then grinned again.

"Well of course I'm hyped I have someone to call a student, _duh._ " He smirked playfully.

I shot him an annoyed look. He was a genin. Who was he to be all high and mighty because I'm willing to take instruction from him? His expression became serious half a second later. "Besides, on the field no one is going to wait for you to get your act together."

Well… that's true… I sighed and filled my mind with the memory of those rivers running through my body.

It worked and I found it again— that little bathtub right at my core. Once you know where your chakra is and how it feels, it's probably easier and easier to access it over time. I tried to focus on getting the "rivers" in my body to flow to my feet. Slowly, my chakra dripped and flowed downwards until my feet felt warm and I was ready to push it out through my skin.

I closed my eyes and tuned everything out as I took cautious steps towards the tree. Once I touched the base of the trunk, I molded my chakra to fit into all of the little grooves in the tree beneath my foot. It wasn't long after that that I took my second step up the tree, using the same method. Then my third, and my fourth and my fi—

"Wow you did all that _without_ a handsign, too!"

I nearly fell, damn it. But I held onto the sensation of sticking to the tree.

I opened my eyes, refocusing on my surroundings, and realized that it was _really_ hard to stand sideways on the tree because of gravitational reasons. My muscles were tense just trying to hold myself up. I tested out my flexibility and bent as far backwards as I could to glare at Shisui.

"I almost lost my concentration—ttebane!"

My eyes widened. Oops. "Y'know" kinda just slipped out. Oh well, I can roll with Kushina's chosen verbal tick. If anything, that would help smooth things over if I ever run into Mikoto, which I will try my damned hardest to. I have a massacre to prevent, after all, and reminding Mikoto of her dead friend will earn me brownie points of some sort, I'm sure of it.

Yes, I am a terrible manipulator. But it has to be done.

Shisui laughed.

"Yeah, but you held on. Are you in the academy?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, would you happen to be in Itachi's class?"

 _No,_ damn it.

"There's no one by that name in my class." I explained, hiding my irritation at my situation.

"Ah, I see. Well, you should see if you can get transferred to one of the _exceptional_ classes. You're pretty good."

"Don't I have to prove myself or something?" I asked. I could just _request_ a transfer?I frowned. It can't be _that_ easy.

Shisui nodded.

"Well, yeah. They'll give you a test before you can proceed. Part of it is written, and part of it is practical." He explained.

"Oh. Well… ok. What's on the written part?"

"They change it up a lot. Just make sure you know the basics."

"I see. Then I'll do that." Great. "The basics". What's "the basics"?

I'll have to read and memorize as many books as I can… An idea struck me. _Shadow c_ _lones_. If I can make shadow clones like Naruto in cannon I'll just have, like, three of them read books all day while I go to school. When they poof away I'll get their memories, thus all the information I need to pass the test.

"Hey, think you could teach me the kage-bunshin jutsu?" I asked.

Shisui smirked, but it was an adorable smirk, the kind that was playful and not malicious.

"Hmmm… I don't know, it's a high level technique that only epic ninja can do..."

I glared at him.

"I bet you I _can_ do it! You...you have to understand. I have a little brother to protect... I _need_ to learn it."

I think something in my expression gave him a change of heart.

"Hmm...What do I get in return?" He asked, with a wry grin. Cheeky bastard, but he knows how to haggle, I'll give him that.

I thought on his question for a minute. What could I possibly give him?

"I'll be your friend forever and ever." I joked in a superficially sweet tone and he burst out laughing.

"Yeah okay, you'll have to do a little better than that."

I pretended to be hurt.

"Oh, I see, I'm just not good enough for Sir Uchiha Shisui the Great and Almighty." I sniffed, but he only snorted at my theatrics.

"How about a really good game of Shogi? However many rounds you want to play." I offered seriously. He smiled, genuinely, and his large, dark eyes sparkled.

"Okay sure. Meet me here tomorrow around the same time and I'll teach you the jutsu. It's late now, and you should really be getting home." He agreed.

"Okay." He wasn't joking, though; it was getting dark pretty fast.

There was a moment of silence where we just looked at each other. I'm kind of really bad at disengaging from conversations. What do I say? "Okayseeyalaterbyeee?" That just doesn't seem good enough.

"Um… are you going to come down from there?" He asked, interrupting my thoughts.

Shit, right… about that… how do I get down? Up was the easy part. Down is the real challenge, here. I debated for a minute before I sucked all fear of falling on my ass up and just pushed off the tree. Muscle memory kicked in and I let it do its job. I flipped in the air and landed on my feet, scattering leaves and other natural debris around.

I think Uzumaki Yuzuha was a little kunoichi-in-training.

I turned to face Shisui just as the dizziness of flipping around settled down. I landed really close to him but he didn't seem fazed at all. Anyone normal would've ducked or stepped back. I guess shinobi just aren't like that.

"Thanks for today. I really appreciate it." I smiled up at him. He scratched the back of his head and blushed.

"Hah, no big deal. Just make sure you aren't late tomorrow."

I shot him a smirk.

"Says the one who was late today."

"Hey! Today doesn't count!" He pouted. I smiled at him, and suddenly felt really sad. Shisui would one day lose some of that light in his eyes.

…

But I was ready for that.

Let's take a moment to think for a second. I just made a friend out of Uchiha Shisui. Me, the kyuubi jinchuuriki. He's an Uchiha. At this very moment, in the hokage tower, or somewhere deep underground, dickhead-Danzo is smirking to himself, rubbing his hands together as he blames the Uchiha for the attack just yesterday for his own diabolical purposes. Me being friends with him, or any Uchiha, really, will only increase the tension. If any of Danzo's ROOT cronies find out…

It would be bad news. It might push things out of order, or make the massacre happen faster. I need as much time as I can to plant as many seeds as I can so when the time comes I have enough grain to feed everyone or something like that. You get what I mean. I need time.

For now, at least, I made a friend.

"Oyasumi, Shisui-san."

"Just Shisui." He corrected with a friendly smile.

"Okay." I smiled.

"Ja-ne, Yuzu-chan." He gave me an ear-to-ear smile, waved and disappeared, disturbing the damp foliage beneath his feet; probably his infamous shunshin jutsu. He was a legit prodigy if he could use it this early on.

Despite it being late, I felt like I could still work with my chakra, but it was getting chilly in the October evening, so I decided to pay Naruto and Hiru-jiji a visit before bed.

I turned, grabbed my books and set off towards the village where I felt all of the flickering little chakras of the civilian population of Konoha.

I played a game of "Pick out the shinobi in the crowd" with my sensory skills as I walked through town at a leisurely pace, avoiding the areas that were decimated from the destruction of the attack a couple nights ago. I took a shortcut through the residential section of Konoha, only because that was the straightest and quickest route I could think of to get to were I sensed Hiru-jiji's chakra.

"Hey!At least give me some time! I still have to pack my son's belongings!" One woman angrily shouted in the mildly busy street. I turned my head to the side and stood to watch the scene unfold, like a lot of the passersby around us did.

The woman was an Uchiha, if the red and white fan on her navy apron was anything to go by. She had light brown hair and pretty, smoke-colored eyes. She was in her mid-twenties… _my_ age. A little boy with short, messy dark hair and round, dark eyes stared fearfully at a masked anbu in front of the pair— a male with blonde hair and a bird mask.

"Your closing date was today. You _have_ to leave." The blonde explained stoically. The woman glared at him.

"Just you wait till—

A shinobi appeared like superman out of literally nowhere, interrupting the woman. He was obviously Uchiha and more than obviously a part of the police force. His short, wavy black hair was thick and his round dark eyes were intense. His sharp, square jaw was clenched and his chakra was _angry_.

The whole situation was so tense I felt like I was five years old again, watching my parents fight. I completely understood how that Uchiha boy felt, hiding behind his mother's long, creme dress.

The Uchiha man placed a hand on the anbu's shoulder.

I swallowed. Shit was about to get _real_.

"You should leave." He suggested tensely. I could tell he was struggling to keep himself composed. I could _feel_ his chakra building up behind and just waiting to burst through his eyes.

"We'll be packed and gone in an hour." His voice was _so_ cold. "Just remember that next time you terrorize my family, there won't be a discussion, even if it _is_ in the middle of the street." He threatened.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh _shit_.

The anbu violently shrugged off the Uchiha's hand and wordlessly disappeared. Scared, the boy launched himself at his father's legs as the mother fiddled nervously with her necklace, watching her husband comfort their child.

I forgot that the Uchiha were forced into a separate corner of the village after the attack. Who would've thought it was _this_ bad, though? It was one thing to read and hear about the segregation but entirely another to actually _see_ it happen.

I can't believe that things are already getting so tense between the two parties, but it was hard _not_ to be angry with Konoha. I mean, what the _fuck_? This is some seriously racist bullshit.

Where I'm from if you did that to _anyone_ … I mean, imagine if the US government issued a decree that all African Americans, or all Caucasians or all Hispanics or all Asians were to just be thrown into one section of the country…

The outrage and violence as a response would be _unbelievable_. People would find a way to fucking burn the whole country down.

How would you feel if you were being evicted just because your last name began with a _U_ , or _B_?

Oh, sorry Jackie, you and your family have to _get the fuck out and into that ghetto over there_ because your last name is "Bernard". Hurry up or we'll fucking move you by force.

What the _hell_! You don't just do that to people.

What's next? Are they going to bring concentration camps into the picture too? Because I have a _lot_ of shit to say on that too.

I felt powerless and pathetic as I moved along.

Time is running out and I just barely got started.

I'm already late. I have _so_ much catching up and planning to do and there are going to be _so_ many difficulties ahead. I literally have to sit at home while I eat and just come up with strategies and counter-strategies and back-up plans and _everything_. I clutched my books closer to my chest as I picked up my pace. I have to start making bonds between me, Naruto, and Hiruzen _and_ the Uchiha for everything to work.

I looked up at the sky with a frown.

 _Please_ just let me make it in time.

* * *

 **Super important edit: Yes, you read this correctly. Shisui _is_ teaching Yuzuha the shadow clone technique. The high-level one. Why? Because he knows it. Why? Because he's Uchiha Freakin' Shisui and like Kakashi, he's a genius at a young age. I've gotten so much grief over this. I know what I'm putting here. It's okay if you don't like it. You don't have to continue reading it if you don't like it. **

**I'm just happy you guys read this at all. Thanks again!**

Okay! So that's the first chapter. I know it moves a little quick, but our main character doesn't piddle around, like she said.

If you've managed to read this chapter to the end, I want to thank you so very much for your time and patience.

I'm sure this story won't get much of a review count but any feedback would be much appreciated. : )

See ya' later, space cowboy.

Disclaimer: I don't have any rights to Naruto®™ and I don't make any profit by posting this.


	2. Kage Bunshin

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|2|

The errors have been corrected in the first chapter. I have a bad habit of excitedly posting before refining and editing my work. Thank you, all of you, for your feedback and support. I didn't expect this fanfiction to be so well-received. I will be regularly going back and editing things that you guys notice, no matter how many chapters I've posted so you new readers who have just discovered this, be patient with me, please.

* * *

When I got to the Hokage tower, Hiruzen let me play with Naruto for a couple of hours before the little blonde had to be put to sleep. It was fun to try to get him to squeeze my finger as hard as he could. After all, he's going to be a shinobi, so he might as well start training as soon as possible, right?

Anyway, after the kid was put to sleep, I asked Hiruzen if I could hang out with him and maybe help him clean his office. I have to start buttering him up as quick as possible. Thankfully, he agreed and I helped him work in comfortable silence. I was sitting down on the red, carpeted floor, just organizing piles of paperwork into D and C rank mission piles, when lo and behold; Yamanaka Inoichi knocked on the door and walked in at Hiruzen's permission.

I tried to hide my kiddy smirk as an idea hit me… It's time to start twisting things _my_ way. After all, I have to work on acquiring power _as soon as possible_.

"Ah, Hokage-sama." He greeted, with a cautious glance my way. His long, blonde hair was actually pretty course. In the anime, you couldn't really tell, but he seriously has some hair. I don't know how his neck doesn't hurt. He was dressed in a standard jounin uniform with a deep purple coat -thing that kind of reminded me of Minato's Hokage robe.

"Inoichi-san." Hiruzen greeted, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Time to intervene.

"Wow, you look important, Inoichi-san. My name is Uzumaki Yuzuha." I complemented—and interrupted— as I stood up, walked over and stuck my hand. Yeah, it was kind of abrupt, rude, and maybe even dangerous to do what I did, but hey, I'm six years old, technically, and kids tend to have mouth-diarrhea at that age, so why _not_ use it to my advantage.

Inoichi cleared his throat. "Nice to meet you, Yuzuha-chan. I wouldn't say I'm _that_ important though." He modestly responded as he gently took my hand and shook it. I squeezed nice and tight, as confidently as possible.

Hiruzen chuckled in an aged tone at is desk behind me.

"Not _that_ important? Inoichi-san is the head of the Yamanaka clan, Yuzuha-chan. He _is_ very important. You were right." Hiruzen obviously gave complements where they were due. He's a pretty cool old dude, I have to say. He kind of reminds me of my grandpa in my old life, except he was a crazy Frenchman that literally gave no fucks as he gallivanted all across Europe, drinking, smoking cigars and playing chess games to impress the bitches at almost eighty years old.

Yeah, gramps was a baller. He probably still is.

Inoichi blushed, but I kept the mouth-diarrhea going as I dropped his hand.

"Is the Yamanaka-clan super-important?" I asked him, making my eyes as _round_ and _curious_ as possible. How could _anyone_ resist such an innocent question from such an innocent face?

Inoichi chuckled as a kind smile graced his still-young face. Sucker. Hook, line and sinker.

"They're one of the major clans in Konoha." He revealed.

Aaaaannnnnnd _that's_ my cue! I whirled around to face Hiruzen with the same big, round, curious, grey eyes.

"Is 'Uzumaki' a major clan name, too? Dad used to always wear the spiral and I see it everywhere here." I asked curiously. Hiruzen's chakra _felt_ a little bit uncomfortable. But again, I'm six years old; he's not going to let that show. Maybe it was nerve-wracking for him to get into detail about the Uzumaki. Maybe he thought it would make me distraught to find out that the clan was wiped out. Either way, who cares? I'm getting shit done. I'm _almost_ at my goal. Just a little bit more…

"It is, actually. Kushi—

I gasped, and tried not to over-exaggerate excitement. I wanted to be believable, but not fake. I must've succeeded because I shut Hiruzen up rather quickly. I didn't feel like hearing about Kushina being Uzumaki and that there were only a few left remaining in the world and blah blah blah. I had plans for all that drama anyway.

" _So cool!"_ I exclaimed excitedly, but not in a hair-brained way. I wanted to seem young and carefree, but determined and serious at the same time. It was a hard balance to keep, but I have goals to reach, so I really don't have any room to mess up.

"Can I be a clan head too one day-pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease _please-ttebane_!?" I begged. Hiruzen looked surprised for a moment—I knew it was because of the haunting "-ttebane" verbal tick that I used _on purpose_ — and chuckled once he regained his composure.

"One day when you're all grown up." He promised. And he genuinely meant it. Little did he know that that day would come sooner than he thinks. I'll make sure of it. Though Hiruzen's chakra was warm and supportive, Inoichi's, on the other hand, felt sad. Maybe reminding him of Kushina upset him. Maybe they were acquaintances ad he was upset over her death. Either way, reminding him of her would work to my advantage.

I know. it's fucked up to use the dead to manipulate people's emotions. But I told you from the get-go: I'm a mastermind. I do what it takes.

But anyway, now that my machinating was done for the night, I decided to make a quick escape. Again, I faked excitement and ran up to Hiruzen, crashed practically _through_ his chair, which was a very painful experience, and hugged him a tightly as I could. He gave a good-natured laugh and patted my head.

"I promise I'll do my best for me and Naruto!" I declared. It won't hurt to add a little bit of sunshine and some rainbows to warm his ancient heart a little more.

"All right, Yuzu-chan, I'm sure you will. But speaking of little Naruto-kun, could you please check on him and make sure he's sleeping well before you go?" He asked, thinking he was smooth in getting me out of there so he could talk to Inoichi alone. Tch. I'll play into his tactic this time, but only because it works for me anyway.

"Okay!" I grinned up at him, again in an excited kind of way to make it seem like I was giddy about my future status as clan head, which I _was_ , truthfully. It made it easier to lie to his face. "Oyasumi ojii-san!"

"Oyasumi." He softly smiled back, and once his chakra was all warm and fuzzy from my cuteness, I scampered off to grin up at Inoichi, who smiled awkwardly at me. I wonder if he had Ino yet… What was her birthday? Meh, I'll remember on my way home. I bowed halfway down a little too quickly in front of the blonde giant.

"See you 'round Inoichi-san! It was _awesome_ meeting you! I'm gonna train hard so I can be awesome like you!" I declared boldly, and complemented freely.

He looked _really_ surprised, but in a flattered kind of way, and I didn't let up on my grin. "Oyasumi!" I bid him goodnight and then dipped out of there faster than you could say "ramen," not even waiting for him to get his shit straight and reply. I guess he wasn't prepared for the host of the ninetails— who had probably killed many of his friends and clansmen— to be so polite and sweet.

Hah, suckers; both of them.

Mission accomplished _bitch_.

Wanna know exactly _what_ that accomplished; what kind of information I received and what seeds I planted? Heh. Get ready for this.

I found out if Hiruzen was receptive to me taking up a leadership position in the future. 'Seems to me like he is. He's officially on my side, and if he isn't he's definitely one step closer to being in the palm of my little six-year-old hand. He thinks I'm going to work hard to attain my flowery, sugar-coated goals and he'll probably help me in any way he can, just because I declared to make life as good as possible for his successor's son.

If Yamanaka Inoichi disliked me for the kyuubi in me before, he doesn't dislike me now. Thus, if and when I get a political position in the _near_ future, and I freaking promise you, I will, I have an ally. Definitely. Just because he now knows that my heart is set on this village and most importantly, Naruto. The _yondaime's_ son.

For now, they think I'm sweet, so if I have any buttering-up to do in the future, it'll probably be easier than I think. I managed to make some bonds, which is a big accomplishment for only being here a few days.

Speaking of bonds, I'm officially going to come to Hiruzen's office every night after training with Shisui, _if_ that holds up beyond me learning the clone technique.

Yes, I know it's fucked up to pull at people's heartstrings, but I _swear_ all this puppetry is coming from a good place. I'll be damned if my favorite characters suffer when I have a chance to do something about it. Maybe I wasn't dealt the most _optimal_ hand of cards when I arrived here— It would have been helpful to be in Kakashi or Kushina's age group— but I can definitely _do_ something to stop shit from really hitting the fan, and since I _can_ I promise you, I _will_ even if it ends up killing me a second time.

I slowed my "excited" run down to a walk, and quietly entered Naruto's nursery down the hall. A nurse was in there, rocking him back and forth in a wooden rocking chair. She had short, wavy blonde hair and striking, but _angry_ brown eyes as she glared at me, her small, pretty features twisted into a frightening expression of pure malice.

Well, _excuuuuse me._ What the fuck did _I_ do?

"Out, monster. Now." She hissed under her breath to threaten me, but not wake Naruto at the same time.

Oh right, I have a fluffy fox-beast inside me. It was all I could do to _not_ sigh and roll my eyes. What a baby, seriously. You can't damn someone for someone else's mistakes. That's like getting into a relationship with the preconception that you're going to get cheated on because the last guy you dated is a two-timing asshole. You can't crucify the new guy for the bullshit the old guy did; it just doesn't make any logical sense. You can't build a sturdy house with old bricks. Get me?

"That's _my_ little brother that you're holding." I calmly told her and watched as her expression turned into one of shock and then quickly morphed back into a snarl of rage. She calmly placed Naruto back in his wooden crib, her gentleness with him a stark contrast to the violent swishing of her admittedly puny chakra. When she faced me, she cast a shadow over me, and I have to say she was a _little_ frightening in the dim, yellow light coming from the nightlight on the blue wall to my left… only a _little_ though and only because the light cast weird shadows on her face.

I put on a tough demeanor. Hell _no_ this bitch isn't going to threaten me just 'cause I'm six years old. If she hits me I'm going right for the knee caps. I don't care what _anyone_ says.

Surprisingly, she had the balls to grasp me by the sleeve of my shirt and drag me through the door. Well, _drag_ isn't the right word. She pulled and I just blandly followed, because I'd rather put her in her place out in the hall and _not_ wake Naru-kun. She clicked the door shut behind us and shoved me a little as she let go of my shirt.

She opened her mouth, but I felt something _cold_ and just… _scary_ approach. A chill ran up and down my spine from _this_ chakra.

"I'll be _damned_ if—

"If _what,_ Shikimi-san?" A voice that sounded like gravel being crunched underfoot interrupted in a superficially innocent tone.

I whirled around, and as if to remind me of my goal, the universe or God or whatever sent Shimura Danzo to my rescue.

Shimura _Danzo_.

…

…

…

Well, shit.

I hoped that the first time I met him would be _after_ my initiation into anbu, where I'd have some skill and killer information to actually be a threat to him. I didn't expect to meet him like _this_. No headband yet. No political power. Nothing.

I should've expected to run into him, though. At this point in time he should still be on pretty good terms with Hiruzen and it wouldn't be a weird thing for him to visit Hiruzen often. If I chose to spend more time with Hiruzen, it was only logical that I'd end up reluctantly spending some time with Danzo, too. I need to really watch out for oversights like this. I can't make a single wrong move. In chess, you're only allowed maybe _one_ mess-up. Any more than that and the game starts to really suck for you. Shogi is more flexible because it's a little bit more realistic, but still. You can't mess up a lot; not in chess, shogi, or real life.

Could being familiar with Danzo work to my advantage? This meeting definitely changes the game a little, but it's not like I can't roll with the punches. It's too late to be surprised and off-guard now. What's done is done. Now the question is… how do I treat him? I doubt I could openly manipulate him. He's too… unreadable, or cold or something. His chakra is just… I don't know, it's hard to describe. Every instinct is telling me not to try anything with him, at least not yet. Should I pretend to be the little girl I am or should I be open about my intelligence?

Is it possible to behave somewhere in between?

For now, I'll just act unperturbed. Shinobi seem to have that kind of demeanor; like nothing surprises them, so that kind of persona or reaction is probably the best thing to roll with for now. I gave him a curious look as I tried to _casually_ straighten out my rumpled, pale-yellow sleeve. He wasn't paying attention to me as he kept a steady gaze on the nurse behind me, but I felt like he had an eye on me anyway so I made sure to keep a straight face.

I didn't need to be looking at the nurse to see the panic on her face and the cold sweat on her forehead. She _felt_ like she was doomed, based on her haywire chakra. The reaction is unsurprising, though. She had been caught by a— for now— high councilman to the hokage, under whom she is employed. If she wasn't afraid of losing her job for terrorizing a kid before, she _should_ be, now. To be honest though, if I were the focus of Danzo's ire I'd be a little bit nervous, too.

Let me ask you a question: Have you ever snuck into an abandoned building?

I have.

In fact, I've snuck into an abandoned insane asylum with my best friend to do some photography there. Tommy was too nervous to go inside so Brandon and I dropped him off at a Dunkin' Donuts, but anyway, after we explored the second and third floors, we found this staircase through this narrow, metal door at the end of a dusty, decrepit and forgotten hallway. The staircase beyond the door was also narrow and it spiraled downwards in a square.

You can bet your ass we climbed down it.

Of course, boringly, it led us back to the first floor _but_ at the landing, if you turned left, there was another door, this one of a regular size.

Above the door was a dirt-covered sign that read "basement". Ominously, it was open and some sunlight filtered in through a broken, marbled mirror to our left, illuminating the glass and debris covering the landing beyond the threshold and maybe the first two ash-colored stairs, however, beyond those two stairs, there was blackness. Like literally, the light from the window was _swallowed_ by the blackness after a certain point.

Of course, we poked our heads in, because we're curious, and because fuck the police.

Ever heard of "deafening" silence? I never fully understood that term until my ears listened to the eerie silence of that basement. Cold air wafted upwards from that doorway to hell and aside from a dripping noise it literally sounded like a deep, white noise was echoing down there, like, infinitely. It _sounded_ more like a vast tomb than a basement. The silence was akin to a deep, slow and never-ending hum.

Creepy.

Anyway, back to my main point and why my insane asylum recount is relevant to the present... Danzo's chakra, his entire aura and being felt like that basement in that abandoned insane asylum— mysterious, dank, cold, and definitely promising perilous danger should you step too close.

Not the person you want to be targeted by.

The nurse— Shikimi-san— feltlike she was about to die of a heart attack, so I stepped to the side and watched the scene unfold.

"U-U-Umm, i-if anything wakes Hokage-sama's charge, Sh-Shimura-sama." She finished at his request.

"Mn… it _would_ be a shame if anything were to wake Naruto-kun up. Perhaps, you should take a break from your arduous work, Shikimi-san. I'm sure it won't hurt for the boy's only remaining family to spend a few minutes with him." He replied in a neutral tone.

Is… is he sticking _up_ for me?

"U-uhm. Right. Of course you're right. I'll be back in five!" She bowed so quickly I _swear_ I heard her back crack and then almost _ran_ down the hallway… _almost_. Danzo then turned his haunting attention to me. His eyes were cold steel as he tried to read me while I tried to read him back.

He wasn't sticking up for _me_. Whatever he just did it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart. There was an ulterior motive to his actions that would probably take me a while to figure out.

"You must be Uzumaki-Yuzuha-san. Is that correct?" He asked, his voice taking on a terribly-feigned curious tone. He knew _exactly_ who I was.

I don't like liars.

Cautiously, I answered, "Mn. What's your name?" and stuck out my hand. It's my patented Uzumaki Yuzuha greeting ™®.

He chuckled. He was amused, but I don't think in a good way. He definitely chuckled in a definitely-not-good-for-Yuzuha kind of way. He grabbed my hand and I _swear_ it felt like I was shaking hands with a shinigami. Yes. A death God.

 _Why_ is his chakra so eerie? And why is it different around his right arm and leg? He shouldn't have the sharingan-eye-arm thing yet, right?

No, wait… he got that right _before_ or right _after_ Orochimaru defected… right.

He's _way_ too many steps ahead. I _have_ to catch up. I _can't_ let him massacre the Uchiha and take their eyes for his own perverse usage. I _won't_ let him take Shisui's eye… no way in _hell_.

"Shimura Danzo. I'm your jii-sama's friend and councilor." He explained… but my blood ran cold…

…

…

…

He _shouldn't_ know my relationship with Hiruzen, yet… but somehow he does. How is he getting his information?

I smiled politely, hoping the dread didn't show on my face.

… Just think of happy flowers and Teletubbies, Yuzuha.

"Nice to meet you Shimura-sama!" I cheerfully replied as I squeezed his hand as hard as I could. He smiled back at me with his one eye closed, but he _squeezed_ my hand back.

He _squeezed_ back! It fucking hurt a little! _Ouch_!

Fuck him—ttebane! I didn't let up until he let go of my hand. I let it casually drop to my side, but I swear to you my fingers were throbbing and the blood was _just_ rushing back to them.

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting Naruto-kun's official big sister, but I have a meeting to attend with Hokage-sama. You'll understand, ne, Yuzuha-san?" He asked, but I _knew_ his underlying words were something along the lines of "I tested the waters with you, but now I'm bored so quickly get out of my way".

"Mn! Have fun, Shimura-sama!" I waved at him—with my pins-and-needles hand— as he nodded and walked past me. I took two steps towards Naruto's nursery and placed my abused hand on the knob. His voice stopped me dead in my tracks, because what six-year-old would dare to ignore him? Actually, what _adult_ anywhere would dare to ignore a chakra like that? I'm freakin' twenty four and unless I have superman, batman, the entire justice league _and_ iron man at my back, there is no way in hell I'm going to openly challenge him. Not 'till I become badass in a couple of years.

All aboard the "Nope" train to "Fuckthatville".

"You may call me Danzo-sama, if you wish, Yuzuha-san. Take care to stay out of trouble." He said as a final goodbye.

I looked at his back for a second as he stood in the hallway. He didn't wait for a response from me as he rounded the corner and disappeared, which is fine with me, because I wasn't planning on giving him a response. I would be a liar and a lap dog if I said "okay sure" and if I said "I do what I want" I'd put myself on his radar a little faster than I'd want to. I turned the knob, and entered Naruto's nursery. When I shut the door, I sensed as far as I could for _anyone_ that could possibly be watching me.

I sensed Hiruzen, Dick-Face-Danzo, Inoichi, countless other shinobi and non-shinobi all throughout the building and a lot of shinobi and citizens outside of it, but nothing looked abnormal. My anbu watchdogs were just chillin' out there on the rooftops, waiting for me to leave so they could continue their watch.

Once I knew everything was okay and I was truly alone, I leaned back against the door and exhaled a shaky sigh.

 _That_ was tense, but there's no time to bite my nails and cry to my mommy. I chewed on my lower lip and ran my hands down a short lock of red hair as the gears in my head began to spin.

He wasn't getting his information from the anbu watching me. Those were obviously Hiruzen's anbu. They were _still_ just hanging out on the rooftop, as they had been since they followed me to the tower as a unit. They were immobile and all in place since I set foot inside. That's _normal_ considering the tower is probably the safest place for me to be, since I was _right_ at Hiruzen's side the entire time and the entire time none of them had moved or left or changed shift or _anything_.

So _how?_ I asked myself as I walked up to Naru's crib and pulled the rocking chair across the navy, carpeted floor as close to him as possible.

I didn't feel like sitting to think, so instead, I stood and peeked through the bars at my new little brother. I stuck my hand through the bars and placed my finger near his warm, little hand. Instinctively, he grasped it. I ran my little thumb over his little fingers as theories started running through my mind.

How did he find out that I created a bond with Hiruzen?

There was no way he had Hiruzen's room bugged. Jiji would know if he were being spied on.

Think, Yuzuha…

From where could we have been seen or heard?

…

The viewing window! It was the only thing that exposed anything in that room to the outside world. But there wasn't anyone _directly_ perched outside, watching us.

…

But that didn't mean that someone _was_ , in fact, watching us, and probably reading our lips. The only way someone could see from outside my broad sensory range was if they had a telescope…

…

… or if they were Hyuuga and I'm willing to bet you that Danzo has some illegal, Hyuuga root cronies watching my every move.

 _Fuck_.

…

…

…

 _Fuck_.

What now?

It makes sense. If I were an evil, nosy, _asshole_ with all of Konoha's greatest clans at my disposal— because he wouldn't be thorough if he didn't have at least _one_ member from each major clan under his thumb— I would _definitely_ use the Hyuuga's sight to do some poking around, _especially_ if it involved the newest citizen in Konoha who just happened to have the kyuubi sealed in her by being in the wrong place at the wrong time...

Or maybe the right place at the right time; 'depends on how you look at it, but that's not the point right now.

The most _current_ question is how _long_ has he been watching me for?

Did the stalking start upon my arrival to the tower today? Did it start before then?

If it did, when _exactly?_

Did he see my interactions with Shisui.. or as far back as my freak-out at the hospital?

The biggest problem would be if he _did_ see me interact with Shisui…

The Uchiha were being accused—subtly— of controlling the kyuubi the other night. It looks _really bad_ for any Uchiha to be messing around with the Kyuubi's jinchuriki… _really bad_. That sounds like a political shitstorm to me. That sounds like "Look! See! They're trying to control the jinchuriki now! Can you _really_ trust them!?"

I continued to munch on my abused lip as I watched Naruto sleep calmly. Somehow, his innocent presence soothed and strengthened me.

Say that Danzo _did_ see me hang out with Shisui for a bit… that might not be a bad thing.

…

Actually, if you think about it, it would be a _good_ thing if he saw me with Shisui. If he saw me today and if he sees me tomorrow, he'll realize that I'm making progress quickly, thanks to Shisui, of course. If anything, if I _outshine_ Shisui, I might just convince him that I'm acting of my own accord and any future accusations he might have will be dismissed. Besides, Danzo's not an idiot. Today, he revealed that he knows my relationship to Hiruzen, but when he unveiled his knowledge he also admitted that he knows Hiruzen will be on my side. Knowing that I have an official ranking high above him on _my_ side will keep him at bay for now, though it's obvious that he'll keep his eye on me.

That eye, that _attention_ might really not be such a bad thing. If he sees my progress or my _potential_ at least, he might help speed it up. He might even try to sway me in his direction because what evil bastard _wouldn't_ want a nine-tailed ticking time bomb as a chess piece on his side of the board?

Chances are, though, he won't even do anything. He might not even spend much time watching me beyond the next few weeks. He's probably only observing me right now to make sure that I show no signs of the kyuubi busting out of me and going on a rampage while making plans for me in the back of his head.

Besides, there _have_ to be _some_ sort of privacy laws in Konoha, right? I'm _sure_ Hiruzen will call off Danzo's dogs sooner or later. It's not right to spy on a six-year-old girl, especially one that the Hokage seems to favor, anyway.

Even if Hiruzen can't _do_ anything to keep Danzo from watching me, I have a back-up plan that will _make_ him have to watch me. He'll only spy on me if he knows I'm unaware of him spying on me. In that case, I'll just have to let him know that I certainly _know_ he's spying on me. Every idiot knows that people behave differently than they normally would when they're aware that they're under watch. He'll _have_ to stop because he'll obviously come to the conclusion that watching me while I'm aware won't help him gain anything.

So, I'm good for now. _For now_.

I just have to go about my day and be hyper-aware of my surroundings and I'll get him off my back if I need to.

"It's going to be a long, hard, uphill battle from now on, Naru…" I whispered. It was soothing to talk to him, even if he was asleep. "But I'll do what I have to so you don't have to suffer like you did in cannon…"

Naruto murmured in his sleep and took a deep breath that seemed to fill the entirety of his little potato-body. I smiled.

"…I promise."

* * *

Shimura Danzo was a shrewd man, perhaps too shrewd at times. Hiruzen sighed as he took a long pull of his pipe, let the smoke swirl in his lungs for a bit and released the cloudy toxin into the air of his office.

Years ago, he chose smoking to be the signature bad habit that would help him deal with the stress of war and death. His tobacco had been serving him faithfully since then and it was imperative that he smoked it now.

Upon Danzo's arrival, Yamanaka Inoichi was excused from giving his oral report and quickly dismissed. Danzo's presence always seemed to herald Hiruzen's old teammates, Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura, and almost _always_ upon their arrival a meeting would commence…

Such as this one.

Hiruzen composed himself and his simmering irritation before he began to reiterate himself.

"The girl is not a danger and I am _ordering_ you as Hokage of this village to _cease_ whatever surveillance of her you are doing." He lost his patience, calmly as usual, but he lost it nonetheless. Koharu exhaled, annoyed.

…And the argument began again.

"I have to disagree, Hiruzen. Since the tenth, _two_ dangers to Konoha were brought to light. The girl can succumb to the kyuubi's whims, or _worse_ the Uchiha could _use_ her to their advantage. As Danzo stated, she already befriended that Uchiha boy. Shisui, am I correct? The one who is quickly being recognized as Shunshin-no-Shisui?"

Her point was valid, and it was a misfortune that little Yuzuha's first friend in Konoha happened to be Uchiha Shisui, but Hiruzen was not convinced that the determined little girl would allow others' hands to puppeteer her thoughts and actions. She had her own goals that she made very clear tonight. It was obvious that she took her promise to Minato seriously and already thought of Naruto as a little brother. She certainly had warmth and love in her eyes while playing with him and Hiruzen was well aware that she was already beginning to train the boy in her own subtle way. He did _not_ miss the way she tried to get the infant to squeeze her hand as many times as he could.

"I have faith in the yondaime's seal. Would you dishonor his sacrifice by doubting his capabilities?" Hiruzen shot back. His former teammate lost her steam and quickly shut her mouth. He hated being harsh with her, as he usually had to be when he had to argue with her, but she left him with little choice.

The trio's accusations were understandable, but concretely paranoid. "Also, there is nothing wrong with Yuzuha making friends. Uchiha Shisui is a kind boy by nature. I see no malice in him befriending the kyuubi jinchuriki considering he is, as of now, a fatherless _boy_ with no true legacy _or_ claim to power, if you wish to be factual and logical about the situation." He explained. He hated to state such things about a bright and promising genin that was quickly proving himself to be of chunin caliber, but Homura, Koharu, and Danzo favored cold evidence over hope, faith and the will of fire.

"It is _illogical_ to ignore the _fact_ that that " _boy"_ has already slaughtered more than a hundred men from three different countries, Hiruzen. If that isn't fame and power that would be _recognized_ by the Uchiha, I don't know what is." Danzo coldly remarked.

Hiruzen placed a hand to his temple. It was ceaseless. He _didn't_ want to use his rank against them. He didn't want them to plot behind his back or doubt his ability to lead. However, he also didn't want to compromise. Yuzu-chan was a kind, intelligent and energetic little girl with _much_ potential. He _knew_ she was a sensitive sensor. Every time one of the anbu on the roof moved, she would twitch or look up. She tried very hard not to, but she had yet to be trained in the art of blocking natural responses. She would know she was being watched if she didn't already and the paranoia resulting from the knowledge would hold her back, and possibly breed distrust and dislike towards the village.

He didn't want to damn a child he knew would one day do good _for_ the village.

"The _fact_ is, Danzo, that there is no question in my mind that Uzumaki Yuzuha is an adept sensor, perhaps as good as, if not better than the late niidaime-sama; kami-sama rest his soul. If you have eyes on her, she more than likely knows she is being watched as we speak. Not only do your actions violate Konoha's _strict_ privacy laws that _all_ citizens, civillians and off-duty shinobi, are protected by, they will eventually breed a dislike of the village in that girl. I have already cowed to your paranoia and allowed you light surveillance of the Uchiha, if only to settle your doubts on their loyalty to this village. I will _not_ condone you making an enemy of an intelligent, _six year old girl_ who has already lost her parents and _sacrificed_ her body for this village. It is counter-productive to her growth as an individual _and_ as a future kunoichi." He argued and almost _smirked_ in victory at the almost-blank expressions of his councilors. They _knew_ he was right and they weren't happy, but he opened their eyes, at least. They would come to terms and possibly even agree with his decision once it has settled in their minds.

"Very well." Danzo acquiesced.

Truthfully, Hiruzen knew that Danzo only agreed with him because the Uchiha were a bigger threat to him than an academy student, but Hiruzen's point was delivered and accepted and if at the very least Homura _or_ Koharu saw his reasoning, then the battle was officially over between the two, at least for now. He couldn't understand _why_ his longtime friend had changed so much, or when, but he knew that Danzo was always aware of the happenings of the village and at the very least meant to protect it. His intentions were born from a good place, but his actions were cold and sometimes excessive. It truly hurt Hiruzen that the two friends clashed now more than ever before.

He was well aware that Danzo understood his underlying message: "You have to pick one or the other, the girl or the Uchiha, I _won't_ let you harass both." That was just how their relationship worked now, especially when Homura and Koharu were involved. There was always something beneath the underneath of their words and they were _always_ able to read it, but never able or allowed to, in the verbal game of politics, say it.

"I will take your word, Hiruzen. It seems you know the Uchiha boy and the Uzumaki girl very well. However, one misstep…" Koharu's sentence trailed off; she needn't say any more to make her point clear.

All eyes subtly turned to Homura. He had stayed silent throughout the meeting.

"I am neutral on the matter. It is imperative to leave things as they are, observe and progress from there. As of yet, we do not have enough information to strike or settle. Time and development are both entities much needed in any decision making."

It was a true, but useless answer. Homura liked to tread in the grey area between the black and white choices that had to be made when running a village. He was _not_ suitable to be a councilman; however, he had always protected Hiruzen's back and that was why he was in his office tonight.

He pulled on his pipe yet again, and held the smoke in his chest as he spoke, "If that is all on the matter…" and then released the toxin from his lungs and lips.

"Until next time." Homura dismissed himself. Koharu bowed, and left, silent as a wraith aside from the faint tinkle of the jewelry in her hair and Danzo nodded, taking his leave with one last glance, his ever-present cane in hand.

The Uchiha clan and the unfortunate Uzumaki girl who had close to nothing to do with Konoha just two days ago both had an arduous road ahead of them.

However, he would be their pillar of support. He would carry their wishes and their freedom on his shoulders until the day he turned to dust, if he had to.

* * *

The next day _dragged_.

Aside from me submitting my test application, and receiving my test date—a whole damn _week_ from today— nothing _exciting_ happened. The fodder kids were still whispering behind my back but after yesterday _none_ of them messed with me. _None_.

Stupid brats.

I have a strong sense of responsibility when it comes to family, but man, do I hate kids. They're friggin leeches. All of them. I would hate to have any of my own.

Good thing I'll probably die – _again—_ before _that_ happens.

Anyway, after school I practically _rushed_ to the training grounds, forgoing any food, even if my bottomless stomach was telling me to _eat more_.

…

…

MOAR!

I ignored it and _finally_ arrive at the same clearing with the same Christmas tree as yesterday. I placed a palm against the tree and realized that my lungs were burning and that at some point, I started to sprint here. Yes, _sprint_ … Except the "sprint" turned into a full-blown, _really fast,_ long-distance run… on complete accident. I didn't even realize how quickly I was moving or how strenuous it was to my muscles, which were slightly sore from the morning workout yesterday… and the workout before bed…

Yeah, I have _a lot_ of energy. More than what's normal for a six-year-old. Trust me, when I died my little brother was six and I swear he didn't have _this_ much energy when I tried to keep up with him. It must be the extra chakra I have from hosting Kurama.

An impressed whistle interrupted my sweating and heavy, old-lady breathing/borderline wheezing.

"He~eh, you got all the way here from the academy in…probably six minutes or so. That's a _lot_ of distance, Yuzu-chan. Were you _that_ excited to see me?" Shisui was surprised before he decided to fan his own flames. I sensed him in the Christmas tree while I was running to the clearing, and to be honest it _did_ make me run even faster to get here… but that's only because I'm strapped for time and I _have_ to get the jutsu down. I _have_ to.

I laughed in between breaths.

"Don't flatter yourself, Shisui." You have to admit, though, he _is_ a funny kid.

"Hey! So cruel, Yuzu-chan…" He pouted and put a palm to his chest with an audible thumb, theatrically pretending to be hurt as he placed the back of his other hand across his eyes.

I snorted.

"Alright, Lady Shisui, are you going to teach me that jutsu or not?" I got back down to business, but not before taking a shot at him first. He released a short laugh and then flipped off the branch. He landed in front of me and I swear it took _everything_ not to react on instinct and take a step back. His grin didn't fade as he placed his hands in the tiger seal.

"You seem to be good at sensing, so maybe you should just close your eyes and focus on what I'm doing first. It's always good to have a demonstration first." He explained and he was right. I shrugged nonchalantly, even though I was excited. I _really_ want to get this jutsu down.

I shut my eyes just as he shut his and focused until I saw the outline of his body in 1080chakraP. His aura was bright and blue. It wasn't soothing like Naruto's, but it was positive and uplifting. It had a comfortingly cool sensation to it—like the other side of your pillow on a hot night— that I recognized I felt from Sanno-nii the other night. Did all Uchiha have that welcome coolness to their chakra?

"Alright, watch closely."

Uh-huh, just get a move-on Shisui. We're burning daylight. I watched as his chakra… _split_ , separated into two sections, one section in his left hand and the other in his right, swirled at the tips of his fingers, still in the tiger seal, shot upwards towards his chest and then _poof_! There was a whole new being in existence with Shisui-chakra in its core— an even amount distributed between Shisui and it. In fact, in my mind, both bodies looked exactly the same.

I opened my eyes and almost gasped. Imagine your best friend— whom you see every day— just came out of nowhere and introduced his or her twin to you that you had no previous knowledge of… Now, imagine they were dressed _exactly_ the same that day, grinning in _exactly_ the same way, with each and every individual strand of hair in _exactly_ the same place.

It was like "twin day" during school spirit week in middle school… to the extreme. Shisui would've won _that_ award, hands-down.

Two, identical Shisuis gave me close-eyed smiles, and then the Shisui-twin disappeared. Poof. Gone. Just like that. To my senses, the chakra dissipated in the air like smoke.

 _Awesome_.

But how do _I_ do it? Why did his chakra separate before clashing together? Do I _have_ to do it that way?

"You look like you don't know where to start."

"Why did you separate your chakra and then slam it together like that?"

"Huh?" He blinked at me as if _I_ were the confusing one of our duo.

"What do you mean 'huh'?"

"It separated?"

"Yeah, duh, you didn't feel that?"

"Wha— _no_! What do you mean it separated? Like how?" He demanded.

"You put your hands together like this." I made the tiger sign— that I practiced 'till like one in the morning last night along with all the other signs— and he eagerly nodded, intrigued with _me_ for some reason. "And then your chakra went from the center of your body, _separated_ into two different… vortexes I guess is a good word for them, spun at the tips of your fingers until it was one thing again and then shot back up into your chest. Then _poof_! There was your clone."

He looked confused as all hell. It was cute, but at the same time it made _me_ feel like the crazy one.

"Really?"

I glared at him.

"Yes, really!" Why is this a question?

"Well, that's not what _I_ feel when I do it." He explained and brought up a hand as if to ask the universe how that's even possible. "When I do it…" he paused and twisted his lips a little as he struggled to think of a way to explain it. A split second later he had the sparkle back in his obsidian eyes and continued what he was saying. "When I do it, I feel like I'm channeling my energy into my fingers, but it doesn't every separate. To _me_ it feels like it rushes out of my body, hits my fingers in front of me and then makes a ball. I feel my chakra in my chest expand a little, as if it's letting something out and then my clone appears."

He explained.

"Well, that's not what _I_ see, sorry."

"I don't think either of us are wrong. You can see it, right?" He asked and then tapped his finger against his forehead protector. "In here." He stressed. I shrugged.

"Yeah. Pretty much. Should I try now?" I asked.

"Yeah. Do you know what you look like?"

"Wait, what?"

"Do you know what you look like? You can't make a clone of yourself if you don't know what you look like."

…

…

"Oh."

I lost all hope.

"I don't have any mirrors! How am I supposed to get every strand in place like you did!" I practically wailed as I waved my arms around. Shisui laughed at me.

"Relax, just look at yourself. The rest will come to you. You see your face every day, don't you?"

"Yeah…" _No_. I've only seen my face the last three days… and even then my main focus wasn't staring at myself in the mirror.

 _Shit_. I'll have to rely on my hopefully good-enough photographic memory. I inhaled deeply and then exhaled, molding my hands into the tiger sign.

I found my chakra, and as predicted it was getting easier and easier to access with each use. I revved it up for a second, before I shot it outwards towards my arms like Shisui did.

Let me tell you, holding it at the tips of my fingers just about outside of my body was harder to do than you think. You kind of have to swirl it there or else it'll just wisp away into the air, wasted. It's different than chakra walking up a tree. When you chakra walk, there's an almost immediate connection between you and what you're walking on. It's easy for the chakra to bounce from you to what you're standing on.

It's not the same when performing a jutsu; no way in hell; _especially_ when you're trying to mold your chakra outside of your body into something solid. It's literally like creating something from almost nothing.

Before I lost my "grip" on the chakra at my fingertips, I shoved it back inside towards my chest, breathing in deeply and then exhaling. The exhale helped force the chakra out an ta-da! You use your imagination while you're still connected to you and…

 _Poof_!

"Hey _that's_ not you! Are you trying to hit on me?"

 _Huh_? You're like, seven or something, get a grip.

I opened my eyes. And gaped.

"Wow, already able to henge it, huh? Did you sign up to take that test yet or what?"

I think Uzumaki Yuzuha might have been a prodigy before I arrived and wrecked her life… or saved it, however you prefer to look at it. Either that, or I just suck, because the clone wasn't of Yuzuha… it was of _me_. 5"7, light brown hair cut into a short bob, jeans, a t-shirt— the standard in my world— and grey eyes and boobies and… … I miss myself.

"Sorry." I apologized. "I… tried to do something different. I guess it worked." I lied. I didn't _try_. It just happened on accident. When I thought of myself before the clone popped into existence it wasn't of the "me" that's Yuzuha. It was of the "me" that I _was_ ; the "me" in my _old_ life.

"What? Don't be sorry; that's totally cool. It took me a few weeks to do that! You wasted a lot of chakra though, are you allright?"

"What? I'm fine. I wasted a lot? Like _a lot_ a lot?" I asked. I didn't even feel the drain. Awesome, I guess.

Shisui shrugged.

"You must have a lot of chakra then, Yuzu-chan."

I shrugged back at him.

"How do you make more than one?"

"Eh, that's a little harder…" He trailed off. I frowned. I don't have time for this reluctance shit. I don't have time for anything. I _have_ to get on his and Itachi's level; like _fast_.

"So what. Teach me." I demanded. "….please." I pouted. 'Might as well be nice about it.

"Um… well, with the amount of chakra you waste you might die, Yuzu-chan…"

My mouth dropped open. Not because the information shocked me, but because he had the _balls_ to insult me. I shut it quickly.

"Is that an insult or a fact?" I asked calmly. He snorted.

"A little bit of both."

I shot him the nastiest glare my six-year-old little face could muster. He put his hands up defensively and gave me a nervous smile.

"Eh-heh… Really though, you should probably stick to just making one clone for now, really. You'll definitely pass the physical portion of the test, as long as you know the taijutsu basics."

I grimaced. "But I don't think I _know_ the basics." My knowledge of the basics of taijutsu consisted of that one crappy x-shaped blocking move I pulled against Douchebag#1 at school yesterday.

Shisui gave me a pitying expression.

"Well… you _could_ just show them your clone jutsu. That should be enough to get you in even if you _do_ suck at taijutsu." He offered. I decked his shoulder. He totally could've dodged it, but he chose not to.

"Hey! Just 'cause I don't _know_ much taijutsu doesn't mean that I _suck_ at it, okay? Ignorance is different from poor performance." I defended myself.

Watch, I'll _rock_ his little Uchiha world once I learn taijutsu—ttebane!

Shisui laughed at me. "All right, all right. I can't exactly teach you any of the Uchiha taijutsu moves. That's kind of against the rules. I'd get into a lot of trouble if anyone found out I taught you. But I _can_ teach you the basic academy moves. They're a little slower and wasteful in regards to energy, but it'll work. It'll get you by." He paused for a moment. "Huh, you're really serious about passing the test, aren't you?"

I grinned. Hell _yeah_ I am.

"Once I'm set on accomplishing something I'll accomplish it no matter _what_ I have to do." I explained. "Failure is not an option for me. I have a little brother to raise and protect."

Shisui gave me a warm smile.

"I see where you're coming from. In that case, make another clone. We'll start right now."

Yeeesssssss! _Awesome_! I placed my fingers into the tiger sign, molded my chakra and exhaled. Poof. Another clone. Shisui gaped at me.

"You learn _fast,_ Yuzu-chan."

"I don't have the option of being slow." I replied with a shrug. He grinned at me.

"Yosh! Let's get started!" He put his hands together, poofed another clone into existence, and got right down to business, just like I needed him to.

"You're going to copy me while those two are going to spar." He explained, pointing at him and I and then at our clones, who nodded in response and walked to the other side of the christmas tree, crunching the leaves, twigs and other debris underfoot on their way there. Shisui grinned at me and then turned around.

"First, you want to make sure you have a solid stance… So make sure you're not standing in a stupid way…"

* * *

Hours later, I found my ass on the forest floor, breathing heavily while bent over. The sun was going down rapidly and it was getting a bit cold for a t-shirt. Shisui was on his back next to me, huffing and puffing.

"You don't know when to stop do you?" He asked, putting a hand across his chest.

"Heh, Uzumaki stamina." I grinned deliriously as I looked up at the many branches and leaves of the Christmas tree.

His clone couldn't hold on any longer, thanks to his exhaustion and it poofed away. I focused my chakra and "popped" the clone I could sense on the other side of the Christmas tree.

He had taught me for twenty minutes, and ordered me to dispel my clone. So I did. And it was…weird. I just _knew_ things. It was like, time travel almost, because I logically knew that while I was training with Shisui there was no way I could have been training with Shisui anywhere else at the same time…but I _did_. I remembered that I did. So… the sensation of the two memories defied logic. It was _really weird_. But hey, it doubled my training experience, so I wasn't about to complain. I don't mind internally freaking out every twenty minutes if it gets me stronger.

In any case, he followed that pattern; twenty minutes of instruction— poof!— absorption of knowledge and then another twenty or so minutes of instruction.

For an eight-ish-year-old kid he was pretty organized. I guess, in this world you kind of had to be, but it was still surprising to me because my six year old brother in my old life was probably currently playing video games and learning two times two, while here, it's no surprise for kids that age to walk on walls and solve algebraic problems with their eyes closed.

Four hours later of nonstop training minus bathroom breaks, we were obviously exhausted, but I can't say it wasn't worth it. I knew the basics _decently_ , and tonight, I'm going to have a clone read as much of the academy textbooks as she can while I cook and shower. I'll be ready in a week. I _have_ to be.

"When do you want to play shogi?" I asked him. Because I owed him… _a lot._ I owed him a lot more than just a shogi game. For all this work, why did he agree to teach me in the first place?

He chuckled tiredly.

"When you pass the test." He replied.

" _If_ I pass the test. Don't have _too_ much faith in me." I corrected. There was still no guarantee I'd pass. I was pretty confident, but hey, you never know. I might get diarrhea in the middle of it and have to run away and thus fail it. A myriad of things could happen. They say you should hope for the best but plan for the worst. That's good advice, but it's not good enough. The best advice would be that you should expect the worst while doing your best; it keeps you on your toes.

"You'll pass, Yuzu-chan." He assured and then abruptly sat up. "I don't think you can fail after all that, actually." He scratched his head of messy hair.

My stomach grumbled. He started to laugh at me.

"Ah-hah I think your stomach is trying to—

His stomach growled even _louder_. Hah.

"—say something?" I finished and stuck my tongue out. He responded with an embarrassed laugh.

"I guess I shouldn't be talking, huh? Hey, I know, why don't we grab some food or something, my treat!" He offered, bless his heart. What a sweet kid, really. If you were under the impression that I'd kill Danzo before he could take Shisui's eye before, you better believe that I will _torch_ his crusty, old ass if he even _looks_ at Shisui the wrong way, now.

"That's nice of you to offer, Shisui, but I don't think that's a good idea."

All good things must come to an end. It won't look good for him if he's seen with me. He'll be ostracized and he deserves better than that. Besides, I'm no stranger to being alone. I prefer to do things by myself anyway. Seeing him frown was like seeing a puppy get kicked. His face is _that_ adorable. It definitely made me uncomfortable to have to shut his offer down. Poor kid…

"How come?" He asked, and a curious, but determined expression settled on his face.

"The villagers don't like me." I explained. "I'm not supposed to tell you why, but it won't be good if people see you with me."

He narrowed his eyes.

"But you didn't _do_ anything." He insisted, and then checked himself. "I mean, I don't _think_ you did anything… right?"

I frowned.

"It's complicated." I replied. He chewed his lip for a moment before a mischievous expression crossed his face.

"How about this…" He began. And I knew I wasn't going to like the next words that came out of his mouth. "If you can reach the top of this tree before me, we'll both go home. If I win the race up you have to eat with me."

He makes it seem like I think it's a punishment to eat with him… Furthermore…

"I'm not _stupid_ , Shisui. You're faster than I am. Besides, you have your shunshin jutsu. That's cheating." I explained.

"Who said I was gonna use my shunshin jutsu?" He sniffled and put on the most heartbreaking puppy dog face, like… _ever_. "Did you really think I'd do that?" He asked, watering his big, dark, onyx eyes.

Bastard… he knows how to guilt trip.

I actually felt bad.

"Well, no… but if you _really_ wanted to win… anything goes between shinobi doesn't it?" I replied. He blinked, his expression turning neutral.

"Well…yeah, but I promise I won't use the shunshin. Chakra walking only. If you can put your foot on the highest point of that tree, you win." He explained, pointing a finger upwards at the tree.

I looked at it and estimated how long it would take to get to the top, running at full speed and _not_ somehow getting hit in the face with leaves and twigs and squirrels or whatever. Well, I can't let him be seen with me, so if this is the _only_ thing that will convince him to _not_ go anywhere with me… I'll take it.

"Alright, fine." I exhaled and then jumped to my feet.

"Alright, awesome! We'll put one foot each on the tree. When I say go, we go." He grinned and giddily ran past me to put his right foot on the base of the tree, atop some thick vines growing up the bark. Slowly, I walked on my jello-legs until I came to a stop next to him, one foot on the tree bark, chakra already sticking to it like his was.

"Ready…."

I sighed.

"GO!"

And we shot off. My heart, for some reason was pounding fast. I'm a competitive person, honestly. I _don't_ like to _not_ do my best. I'm not a sore loser and I won't say that I _have_ to win everything, but I definitely like a good challenge. Exhausted, I growled and pushed my jello-legs as hard as I could, despite feeling wobbly.

The runner's high was incredible. Everything around me faded in the background and all I could focus on was stepping further and further up that tree, whipping branches out of my face and way, and trying to hold up against the force of gravity.

I heard Shisui laughing as he split off from the path next to me.

Who cares, I _have_ to keep moving.

I startled some squirrels and I heard them skittering away as my feet continuously hit the bark of the tree. The air was starting to get cooler and windier.

 _Almost there_. I grit my teeth and pushed harder. The trunk got narrower and narrower until finally I could see the Uchiha fan on Shisui's shirt flopping around with his movements. A quick glance to my right revealed his elated face. It was nice that he was enjoying himself _but_ I still had a race to win. So I pushed myself harder.

Only a moment or two after that thought I was beginning to worry that we would _break_ the tree. It really wasn't that thick at the top.

It got down to crunch time and I counted down the steps I would need to take to win.

Just seven more…

Six…

Five…

I heard him panting…

Three…

Move _faster_!

Two…

ONE—

His laugh interrupted my victory as he _shoved_ me!

 _He shoved me! SHOVED!_

I screamed an ear-piercing scream that hard birds flying from their nests in alarm. I caught a glimpse of him cheering as he touched the top branch and then started to fall backwards. It was like the Kingda Ka ride from hell. The last tendrils of light disappeared in the sky and I wondered as my ass flew to my throat if maybe _this_ is what the trip to hell is like.

It makes perfect sense; think about it.

You get to meet your favorite characters, right? You do some cool shit; you're all nice and buttered up and then _bam_! Too bad sucker! You get shoved out of possibly the tallest tree in existence and start falling towards Satan's hell-dungeon below.

Fantastic.

I covered my eyes.

Why do I always die falling?

Before I knew it something warm crashed into me and I was flying sideways, screaming again.

Maybe I passed out on a rollercoaster. Did I smoke something? Is all of this part of some acid trip? Did someone roofie me and _then_ put me on a rollercoaster?

Suddenly, with a wild jounce, all sensation of being at gravity's mercy ceased and I heard the grinding sound of bark breaking. Laughter registered in my panicked mind and I realized it was Shisui.

Nevermind him being adorable!

He's the demon spawn from hell! How _could_ he!?

"Ne, Yuzu, you alright?" He asked. I whipped my head up with tears collected at the corner of my eyes.

"You almost killed me!" I shrieked as I grabbed the tall collar of his shirt and attempted to shake him while he was holding me.

"No I didn't." He replied, expression _completely_ serious.

"You _shoved_ me!" I pointed out, still shaking from the fear and adrenaline.

"I had a wire connected to you." He defended, and then moved his arm under my knees. A steel string in glinted in the moonlight, attached to the bandages covering his forearms. I gaped at him for a few silent seconds. When did he do _that_?

"When did you do that!?" I asked, a little too loudly. He winced a little at my volume.

"When we were climbing the tree. I would've caught you either way." He explained, and then grinned proudly. "So I _didn't_ almost kill you."

I wish I could explain how _unsettling_ it is to be held by a little kid, while attached to a _freakin_ tree trunk _almost_ at its highest point.

Let me down, please.

"Okay, okay fine. But you _still_ cheated!" I huffed.

He grinned.

"And let me tell you why I didn't."

I glared at him.

"Hang on."

His grip on me tightened and he pushed off. If I scream again, I'll probably lose my voice, so I shut up and covered my face with his stupid, big Uchiha collar, hanging onto it like a drowning man clutching a life raft.

I heard the crunch of leaves and felt my stomach sink back down into my body and knew we were on the ground. The second he put me down…

"RRRRAGHH!" I tackled the _hell_ out of him. He wasn't expecting it.

"WH-AAAAH!"

Once on the ground I started shoving leaves and pine cones and twigs and whatever else I could grab into his messy hair and down his shirt.

It wasn't long before he flipped me over and shoved damp leaves into my face.

"Get off you _totally_ deserved that!" I shouted. He just kept laughing and stuffing leaves in my hair. He took a twig and started irritating my neck with it. It gave me goosebumps and at that point I was officially over it.

"Ack! Okay _okay_! I concede!" Nope. No mercy. He stuffed a pine cone down the front of my shirt while pinning one of my wrists down, while the other was busy shoving his face away by his cheek. "Shi— ack!—

I licked a leaf, _ew_! Some rabbit probably peed on it or something, _grossssss_!

"Shisui _stop_!" His laughter died down and like a miracle, the fight I started finally ended. I didn't care that he won. I just wanted the shit out of my hair and clothes. Who knows what kind of bugs are probably all over the place.

"You give up?"

" _Duh_." I retorted. He chuckled and let my wrist go. I glared at him because it was a little sore. As he got up off of me, a curious expression settled on his face.

He pointed at my exposed stomach.

…

…

…

The eight trigrams seal…

Shit. Isn't this thing supposed to disappear! Maybe because it's still fresh?

"What's that?" He asked, curiously.

"Um… that's part of the stuff I can't tell you." I explained as I pulled my shirt down. No use in lying to him, is there?

"It's a seal." He answered himself.

I nodded.

"What is it sealing awa—

He stopped himself mid-sentence as it dawned on him.

"You're the—

I shot up so quickly to put a finger over his mouth I swear I almost fell over in the process.

"Shhhhhh!" He stopped talking. "You _can't_ say anything, okay? I understand if you dislike me too, but you can't go screaming it everywhere. Most kids don't know I have him in me, alright?"

He frowned and shoved off my hand.

"Who said I didn't like you?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't."

He paused for a moment, but then he simply said, "Yuzuha-chan is Yuzuha-chan," and then grabbed the short sleeve of my yellow shirt. He started to drag me god knows where, but I couldn't help but smile.

 _Yuzuha-chan is Yuzuha-chan_. That kid…

* * *

Thank you guys again for the reviews and critiques. I greatly appreciate them! Hope you guys had as much fun with this chapter as I did.

See ya later Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: I have no rights to Naruto™® I don't make any money posting this.


	3. A Night Out

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|3|

Take a guess as to where Uchiha Shisui took me to eat…

…

…

The newly-built Uchiha District…

…

Yep…

All because I said I liked sushi.

So of course, this _bubbly_ kid—covered in dirt, leaves, and sweat from our training session— started dragging me to the "newest and coolest sushi restaurant" claiming that it was really awesome because "the baa-chan next door to me opened it up!"

…

…

I _highly doubt_ the Uchiha will like me very much, but does Shisui care? No, of course not. Shisui gives _zero_ fucks. If you really think about it, that's probably why we're friends.

And that's exactly why right _now_ we're approaching the huge, stone wall that symbolizes the beginning of what hopefully _won't_ be the end of the Uchiha clan. It was bare white. There weren't any fans painted on or etched into it. The wooden gate embedded in it that separated the compound from the village was wide open and many people passed through it; some going in, some going out. It made me sad and reinforced my need to turn Danzo into a bleeding, screaming, crying sack of piss. Not because the wall pissed me off or anything, no, but because that wooden gate was _wide open_.

Let me tell you why that gate being open is so symbolic and significant and why it's specifically the reason for my anger towards Dipshit-Danzo…

 _The Uchiha still want to be a part of the village_.

Otherwise, that gate would be shut and all the non-Uchiha Konoha citizens currently traveling in and out of the district would be shut out and prevented from going inside. They never rejected Konoha in the first place. That gate being open was their way of extending an olive branch. It was their way of saying, "We don't hate you, even if you're being horrible to us." That wide-open gate was also, apparently, making Konoha more money. A _lot_ of businesses were opening up in the district. There were already tailors, jewelers, outfitters, and artisan cafes open everywhere.

And yeah, you might think, "so what?" right? Well, here's the kicker… ready for it?

There were _a lot_ of foreign merchants here, already. Some of the people walking in and out of these stores were starry-eyed and carrying little bags with Uchiha fans on them. The Uchiha were bringing business _into_ Konoha from afar, using their status as a prestigious clan to lure potential buyers in. I mean, if you saw an advertisement that the legendary Uchiha clan was opening up a new café, or selling fine weaponry to the general public… wouldn't you want to go and buy some for yourself? I can tell you right now that my nerdy ass would separate from my leather chair so fast _Thor_ would hear the resulting sonic boom somewhere in the heavens.

Bottom line, the Uchiha were using their shitty position as an _advertisement_. "Come to the new Uchiha district where the goods are _really_ good" basically. Not only were they making killer money for themselves and the village, they were helping _other_ merchants down in Konoha's _main_ market get rich, too. All these foreign visitors and businessmen had to walk all the way _through_ Konoha to get to the district because of where it was located—basically right on the village's ass-crack. It's not a stretch to assume that a good portion of them would be stopping at the main markets and buying snacks and other things there, thus further stimulating Konoha's economy.

 _And_ fattening shinobi's paychecks. Because of the slow, but steady influx of visitors there were more missions to dole out. People were communicating more, thus more genin were sent to run around the village on deliveries. If important financial information was being sent out to other villages from Konoha, chunin would be sent out to do the job and the jonin and anbu would be hired to escort the particularly rich folk in and out of the village, _and_ lastly, the police force was needed to keep an eye out for petty robberies and bar fights.

The Uchiha were trying to be peaceful _and_ helpful while Konoha's anbu were forcing them out of their homes, terrifying their children _and_ relocating them _behind a huge wall_.

It was like a huge fucking ghetto, except it wasn't impoverished and neglected...

It made me so frustrated and angry I wanted to cry. I _hate_ not being able to _immediately_ do anything about something fucked up like this. It's just like how angry I was with the government when I was alive, I mean, when I was living my old life. It was close to impossible to do anything about the fuckery going on around me. It isn't _right_. I won't stay quiet here in fear of being killed. I won't be inactive. I'm going to do something about this. I swear to—

"—ne, Yuzu?"

Huh?

"Sorry, what?" I asked with a shake of my head. Man, it was too easy to just trust Shisui to drag me in the right direction while I lost myself in my thoughts and observations.

Shisui stopped dead in his tracks so suddenly he almost stopped the rotation of the earth. He turned, frowned at me and waved his free hand in front of my face even though I was fully paying attention to him. I hadn't realized he was talking about something. His warm hand squeezed mine and I forgot when he started dragging me by my hand versus dragging me by my shirtsleeve.

"Are you still worried people are going to hate you?" He asked, his tone suspicious, as if he'd get mad if I said _yes_. As if he could even _get_ mad… I'm sure something will set him off one day; everyone's got _some_ anger in them, but right now, he's so exuberant and uplifting that I can't _imagine_ him angry.

It's actually weird that he's not an angry kid. He should be _livid_ with the way his clan is being treated.

I mean, what the fuck, really. I looked past his head of wild, black hair and noticed a few Uchiha women walking past us. They grinned down at Shisui and I, holding bags of groceries, being all normal and nice like _nothing was wrong_. I caught the pretty, brown eyes of one of the women. She had chocolate, dark hair cut in a bob and wore a simple navy skirt and baby pink blouse. She smiled at me, like genuinely _smiled_.

These people weren't even _close_ to being dicks like they were with their police brutality in the anime. It must've taken _years_ of segregation and suspicion to push them into fighting back. This isn't right. No matter how covered up or sugarcoated it is, no matter how well they're taking it, it _isn't right_. I smiled back at the woman and her two friends with what I hoped was a kind smile and not a sad one.

" _Oi_!" He jostled my arm and I snapped my attention back to him. He was waiting for an answer.

"Yeah… kinda." It was a total lie, but what am I going to do? Start talking to him about politics? It's too soon for that.

To be completely honest, though, I almost _want_ them to be mad at me. The Kyuubi attack was what started all of this. I'm being blamed for everything negative that happened during the attack by the non-Uchiha villagers, anyway, so why can't they at least join the bandwagon and be mad at _me_ if they're not going to openly lash out at the village? I'm sure they know who I am by now; word spreads quickly in Konoha. The fact that they're _nice_ to me just shows how nonjudgmental and civil these people really are…

Honestly, think what you want about me, but I completely understand why Sasuke wanted to raze this place to the ground. The Uchiha didn't deserve this; they really didn't. They're a clan of _really nice people_ ; yes, they're reserved, but for the most part, they're kind. Most of them have really refreshing chakra signatures too. A lot of them aren't even that powerful; most of them are civilian. I'm sure the shinobi of this clan are a hell of a lot more proud and stoic, but as of right now, the _people_ as a whole didn't seem as douchey as I thought they'd be. I squeezed Shisui's hand back.

I need power. I need _political power_. And to gain that, I'll have to gain strength first. Shisui frowned and then opened his mouth, probably to berate me for thinking that people would hate me here, but I interrupted him just as he took a breath to speak.

"Can you teach me how to throw kunai?" I asked a little too suddenly. The confused expression on his face was priceless as he released the breath he took to speak. I realized that my abruptness made me sound like I wanted him to teach me how to throw kunai _now_.

"Eh? Did all the training get to your head? We need food… _now_." He insisted and then started to drag me… _again_. I followed him without a struggle. He was moving pretty quickly and it was only that infamous Uzumaki stamina that kept me going, even if I nearly tripped a couple of times, speaking of which, how is he less tired than I am?

"I meant _after_ food." I replied over the uplifting chatter of the crowds of people around us. "And also, how are you _not_ dying on your feet right now? I'm _exhausted_." I had to ask. He laughed openly in response as he effortlessly pulled us _both_ past temples, restaurants and houses that were still under construction.

"I _am_ dying on my feet, but I need to eat, so I have to ignore that for now." He explained with a shrug, never letting go of my hand, never missing a step. He's running purely on _willpower..._ amazing.

"Oh yeah, and after we eat it's going to be really late… you sure you don't want to save kunai training for tomorrow?" He asked as if he were actually _open_ to the idea of training far into the night when neither of us were up for _walking_ let alone running around and throwing things.

"Tomorrow?" I asked. Besides, when did we decide we'd keep training together? Was he really offering to continue where we left off tomorrow?

"Yeah, tomorrow. Don't you want to learn more of the academy style?" He asked, as if _my_ question was the weird one. "'Might as well throw some shurikenjutsu in there too, why not, ne?"

I grinned. What a good kid, really.

"Okay sure." I replied.

And suddenly, he put the brakes on our run _again_. I stumbled and crashed into his back as he let go of my hand, stopping dead in front of this _huge_ sushi stand. I mean, I'm pretty sure it's not _huge_ to most people; it's probably just huge to me 'cause, y'know, I'm a shrimp. My nose hit the center of his upper back; my entire front collided with his entire back and I was forced into taking a shaky step backwards in order to _not_ fall. I still had jello-legs and it wouldn't be too hard to push me over at this point.

"Ouch." I grumbled and rubbed where my face ached from the impact.

"Come _on_ Yuzu, you're _slow_." He egged me on, already hopping up on a tall bar stool. Glaring at him, I crawled up on the stool next to him. Behind the grey, marble bar in front of us, a lady in a long burgundy dress and white apron with greying, chocolate-brown hair styled in a bun was checking on something cooking in a pot. She placed the lid back down on the pot and whirled around to face us with energy you wouldn't think she'd have at her age. She has to be fifty or so; maybe a little older, but her stone-colored eyes still held a sparkle of youth that Gai-sensei would be proud of if he were here.

"Ah! I thought I heard your big mouth Shii-chan." She greeted with a teasing smile. Shisui turned _red_ next to me and I started to laugh. You know, out of the two of us, you'd think _I'd_ be the one with the big mouth, being Uzumaki and all, but here this woman is teasing _him_ for being a loud-mouth.

"O- _Oi! Baa-chan_!" He glowered at her as she waved his aggravation off with a wooden spoon in-hand.

"What can I get for you and…" She trailed off as she turned to me, and I quickly introduced myself. My hand shot out on instinct.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha." I stated seriously. She smiled so kindly I was sure she'd make an angel cry.

" _Yuzuha_. What a wonderful name. It has a lot to do with the citron fruit, doesn't it?" She asked excitedly as she shook my hand and dropped it.

I sat down but I had to wonder… what's a citron? I'm assuming something like a lemon? Citrus? I nodded in response to her question and prayed that I didn't look like I had no idea what she was talking about.

"The citron is a very important fruit in food and in medicine; it was one of the four original citrus fruits. Your parents must have had high expectations of you." Quietly, I nodded again. What should I say to be believable? Bullshit starting spewing from my mouth before I could stop myself.

"They did. They really wanted me to be a strong shinobi."

It was bullshit because they never said anything like that to _me._ Hell, I never even met the duo, _but_ what I said wasn't really a lie. Yuzuha's parents took her to _Konoha_ ; one of the major villages the Uzumaki were involved in _and_ they enrolled her in the academy. Assuming she had a great relationship with her parents, it's safe to deduce that they wanted her to be strong.

The woman looked sad so I smiled at her. She must've figured that I lost my parents. Well, _I_ didn't. Yuzuha did. You get me. I still felt a pang of sadness that I shouldn't have felt as I looked over at Shisui and caught him looking at me with a sad expression before he could turn away.

"What's your name, obaa-san?" I asked curiously. The woman smiled so brightly she put the warm lights above us to shame.

"You may call me Kina, Yuzu-chan." She informed and I smiled and nodded in response.

"What's your birth date, Yuzu-chan?" She asked.

"July thirtieth." I almost clapped my hand against my mouth.

 _Huh?_ Wait, _what_ did I just say? My birthday _isn't_ July thirtieth… but that just came out like mouth-diarrhea. It _felt_ like the truth, though. I didn't even think about it as I replied. It must be one of those things that I just _remembered_ without even knowing; like Japanese.

"Can I have the number four?" Shisui interrupted and Kina-san smacked his right hand, resting on the pale, marble counter, with her wooden spoon.

" _Itaii_!" He shouted as he pulled his hand back and rubbed it with an offended expression. If the little, red cloth-squares hanging above the stand weren't there to block most of the street, I'm sure I would've seen several people turn their heads towards us. "What was _that_ for!?" He yelled, comical little fake-tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. I placed a dirty, warm hand over my mouth as I held back a laugh.

"That's for interrupting my conversation with Yuzu-chan." Kina-san sniffed in response. Shisui _boldly_ pointed a finger at her.

"I'm hungry." He declared. "You can't blame me."

…

Big mistake. Kina-san swatted at his finger with her spoon but this time, he was ready for the attack, and pulled his hand back fast enough with a smug smirk. Just as Kina-san shot him a glare that promised vengeance, it dawned on me that I should probably look at the menu on the board behind and above Kina-san's head.

 _There were so many options…_

Which one to pick?

I loved sushi when I was alive. I mean, I _legit_ loved it. I ate sashimi, and octopus, and _everything,_ even uni… yes… sea urchin. I planned on going to Japan one day and eating at a world-famous sushi restaurant that was roughly three-hundred dollars a seat… but well worth it. 'Point is, I _love_ my sushi.

…And to have this many choices… _man_ I don't know where to begin. I was definitely feeling something simple, like tuna and salmon, though.

"May I have the number twelve, please, Kina-san?" I asked and the woman's poisonous glare melted into a warm smile as she turned her head towards me.

"Very well, a twelve and a four, coming right up!" She smiled and turned around to ladle miso soup into two, identical blue and green bowls. She placed the bowls and a dark, wooden basket holding two steaming hot towels in front of us. I picked the towel on top and when I began wiping my hands on it, I realized she had dabbed lavender oil onto the cloth.

"Would either of you like tea?" She asked as Shisui scrubbed each and every single one of his fingers individually.

"Sure." We both replied in unison and looked at each other. Shisui was too-obviously embarrassed as he laughed and looked away. I smiled at Kina-san.

"Arigato, Kina-san."

"Eh, you're very polite, Yuzu-chan, maybe your refined demeanor will rub off a little on Shi-chan." She grinned as she turned and lifted a pot off of a small burner in the corner of the stand. She lifted her arm to pick up two, aqua-colored tea cups without looking.

"I'm _refined_." Shisui argued as she poured tea into the cups. "Aren't I?" He turned and asked _me_ of all people, with intense, cat-like eyes. I've only known him like, a day and a half!

"Um… you're _organized_." I replied cautiously. He gave me the patented and infamous Uchiha smirk ™® as he turned to face Kina-san's back.

" _See_. I'm _organized_." He repeated confidently. Kina-san turned around to put our teacups down in front of us with a smile that was definitely _too_ sweet. Shisui's about to get his ass handed to him. Poor kid.

"Your room begs to differ." She gracefully _flamed_ him in that too-cool-for-you Uchiha kind of way. Shisui gaped as she placed his teacup in front of him. I felt bad, so I decided to give him a few words of encouragement. I was getting tired of the bickering on his end, though Kina-san seemed like she enjoyed it.

"You're organized when you train." I interrupted before he could spit something back at the woman. "You're a great teacher."

His cheeks and ears turned red but he turned and grinned at me anyway.

"Arigato, Yuzu-chan." He replied, now in a better mood.

I smiled and nodded as Kina-san turned around and started putting our food together. My plate was mostly sashimi with two yellowtail nigiri and one spicy salmon temaki.

…Freakin' _delicious_. I can't _wait_ to eat. My stomach growled again and Kina-san laughed as she cut the pieces of fish necessary for our dishes.

"Ah, gomenasai." I apologized, but I wasn't embarrassed. I was fuckin' hungry and I haven't eaten since morning. Of _course_ my stomach is going to growl.

"I'm just as hungry, don't worry." Shisui assured as he started to spoon soup into his mouth. I followed his example and for a minute, things were peaceful.

"Hey, when's your test again?" He asked, in between spoonfuls.

"In a week." I easily replied as I swallowed and turned to look at him.

"Mhmmmm…." He replied and looked like he was thinking about something while he ate.

"What?" I demanded. I wanted in on his thoughts, too.

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to know how much time we have to beef up your skillset before then." He said with a shrug.

"A week isn't a really long time." I explained.

"You'd be surprised how much you'll learn with the help of shadow clones. Fugaku-ojii-san started teaching me that way. It really works." He explained.

Bingo. He just started the conversation I needed.

"Who is Fugaku-ojii-san?" I casually asked as I returned to my almost-empty bowl. "Your grandpa?"

Pshh, who _doesn't_ know who Fugaku is? He's only like, the most annoyed Uchiha in the world right now. I would be too if I were spear-heading this political nightmare.

"Oh! He's my uncle." Shisui grinned. "He and Mikoto-baa are my closest family."

So his parents really _are_ dead. Poor Shisui. I must've frowned at him and he must've realized what I was thinking because he blushed and put his hands up.

"Hey, _I'm_ alright." He insisted, without me even having to speak my thoughts. "Are _you_ okay though?" He asked, and then quietly, "I know it was more recent for you…"

I shook my head. "There is nothing I can do now but move on and get stronger… for them." I explained and he nodded.

" _Anyway_ , Fugaku-jii started teaching me really soon after I lost my parents. I think I was four." He openly commented.

"How old are you now?" I asked. He grinned.

"I'm eight. But I'm going to be nine in a few days."

So he's _three_ years older than Itachi…

"What day _exactly_?" I asked. It's _his_ birthday this week and _he's_ treating _me_ to dinner.

He blinked at me for a second before he replied.

"The sixteenth."

Three days. What could I _possibly_ get him in three days?

"You looked stressed out." He commented curiously.

"Anyone would be." I glared at him. "You're my first friend and I don't even know what to get you." I explained. His eyes widened and he blushed.

"You don't need to get me anything; I never _asked_ for anything!" He quickly exclaimed. He spoke so fast I was surprised his tongue didn't trip over his words.

"Dummy, who _asks_ for stuff for their birthday?"

"Idunno, _I_ don't, though."

"That's exactly why you're getting something, _duh_."

His entire face became really serious.

"For my birthday, I want you to pass the test." He declared, as if I had no choice in the matter.

"But that's in _seven_ days." I explained. "Your birthday's in three."

"So what. Just pass it. _That_ will make me happy." He replied.

This kid was dead serious in such a jovial environment. People were talking, Kina-san was working with a smile on her face and the colorful, soft lights from the lanterns hanging outside of the stall cast red and pink shadows onto half of his face. I couldn't help but frown back.

"Fine…but I'm still going to find a way to get you something. If I don't, you better expect the most awesome gift _ever_ when I become genin—ttebane!" I declared and crossed my arms.

Kina-san laughed as she placed two plates of sushi down. Shisui's was some elaborate, colorful assortment of fish, rice, and radishes and I had mostly sashimi with one vegetable temaki.

God help me I almost _drooled_. It's been _weeks_ since I had sushi, if you count the days before I died.

 _Weeks_.

"Itadakimasu!" we shouted in unison. Shisui pulled his chopsticks apart with a snap and I had to turn and thank the kid. The fish was _supremely_ fresh—you could tell just by looking at it— and every piece had the perfect amount of sauce gently brushed onto it.

"Arigato, Shisui!" I grinned, and before he could reply I turned to Kina-san, whose charcoal eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked at the excitement on _both_ our faces. Shisui was probably drooling next to me, but I ignored him as I thanked her too. "Arigato Kina-san! I know it's delicious without even trying it!"

"E~eh? Yuzuha-chan, are you a sushi _specialist_?" She teasingly asked me and I laughed; hell fucking _yes_ I am!

"I might as well be," I replied, "Sushi is my favorite food!"

"Well, eat up. It's on me today, since it's Shii-chan's birthday so soon."

I gaped at her in surprise. Shisui choked and I whipped my head in his direction to see if he was okay. He had his hand over his mouth, chopsticks twisted awkwardly in his fingers as he coughed into it, and used his other hand to repeatedly punch his chest.

Some guests walked in through the little cloth squares, taking the attention off of Shisui's fit. They were both Shinobi and I recognized one of them.

"Sanno-nii!" I shouted as I _smacked_ Shisui's back hard enough to dislodge whatever food went down the wrong pipe. He coughed once more, attracting Sanno and his friend's eyes.

"It _ai_ Yuzu! That hurt, what kind of girl are you!?" Shisui gaped as I slid down the chair and ran over to hug Sanno's legs.

"Yuzu-chan! Who would've thought I'd see you here! Did you get the stuff you wanted?" He asked as he ruffled my hair. I let go of him, stepped back and shook my head.

"Not yet, but hopefully soon. How are you?" I asked.

He smiled warmly.

"Alright, but hungry, ne, Shuu?" He turned to his friend, a tall jounin with shoulder-length blonde hair and deep, dark eyes. He had an Uchiha crest ironed onto his vest.

…

…

…

Well, there you have it, folks. The first blonde Uchiha I've ever seen, like, ever. I'm just as surprised as you are.

Shuu nodded quietly. His face was mostly neutral but you could see the light and good humor in his eyes.

I trotted back to my bar stool as Sanno and Shuu chose seats. Shuu decided he was comfortable sitting at Shisui's left, and Sanno chose to sit at my right.

"Yuzu-chan, that's Uchiha Shuu, my closest friend." Sanno introduced, because it looked like Shuu wasn't going to do it himself. I bowed my head towards the blonde.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha." I recited my name and then stuck out my hand over Shisui's plate. The mini-Uchiha glared at me. Shuu chuckled quietly as he grasped and shook my hand.

"Quite a grip you have there, Yuzuha-chan." He quietly commented in a deep, but soft tone. I shrugged and smiled as I pulled away from him to focus on my plate.

"Never _mind_ _that_! Obaa-chan! You can't just—

I slapped a hand over Shisui's mouth and the rest of his words came out mumbled for just a split second before he flipped a switch and began to look like an angry cat. At first, he tried to yell at me through his hand, but immediately, he realized that did him no good, so of _course_ he licked my palm instead.

I cringed, but I didn't let go, even as Shuu, Sanno, _and_ Kina-san laughed at our antics. Shisui whacked my hand away by my wrist and glared at me.

"What was _that_ for?" He glowered.

Rule number _one_ in small business: You _never_ want your customers talking to each other. We got a special discount today for Shisui's birthday. It's not right to make Kina-san's other customers feel bad, even _if_ they're big boys and understand that not _everyone_ gets a free meal. It's just not good to make Kina-san look like she's the type of person to just _hand out_ discounts.

She's not, trust me. Let me tell you why…

First off, I'm not dumb, okay, we've established this. I'm very good at picking up cues from body language amongst other things. Kina-san _totally_ shipped me with Shisui. _Totally_. I see the gears turning in her head… _especially_ when she smiles at u. She's a good business woman, but she's a _sap_ for romance and _that's_ what got her to give us free food today. We can't give others a false impression of her by spewing information everywhere.

"Just enjoy the food, ne, _birthday boy_?" I grinned while ribbing him good-naturedly. He shot me an unsatisfied look, but turned back to his food anyway, understanding the underlying secrecy I was trying to stress. Granted, Sanno and Shuu probably already figured out what was going on, but in case they didn't it was better t just let the matter drop. Kina-san roughly mussed Shisui's hair as she turned to Sanno.

"What will it be today, Sanno-kun?" She asked as Shisui and I went back to eating.

I saw Sanno grin with my peripheral vision. "An eight, please."

"Wonderful, and you, Shuu-kun?" She asked as she turned to the first blonde Uchiha I've ever seen.

"Also an eight, Kina-san…arigato." Shuu replied.

Kina grinned and turned to make their orders as Shisui practically _inhaled_ a slice of salmon before he gulped down tea and turned to talk to me.

"So the test is in seven days, right?" He confirmed one more time.

I chewed my fish, swallowed, turned and nodded.

"Mn, why?"

"Why don't you take it earlier?" He suggested.

"I can do that?"

"Eh? What test?" Sanno piped in.

"Yuzu's taking the test to get into the advanced academy classes." Shisui explained.

Sanno whistled, impressed.

"Already, Yuzuha-chan? You've only been here two days!"

I grinned.

"I want to become strong to protect my friends _and_ my brother." I replied solidly and confidently. Sanno smiled at me, a light sadness in his eyes… he had lost people he loved, certainly.

"Well alright then. I'm sure you'll do fine. Do you want any help with your taijutsu?"  
I opened my mouth to say _yes_ but…

" _No_. We're working on that already." Shisui interrupted.

I'm going to lose my shit. Here is this _chunin_ offering to teach _me_ — lil' old Yuzuha who needs all the help she can get— _taijutsu_ … maybe a taijutsu style that _isn't_ the Uchiha _or_ the academy style… and Shisui just basically told him to _fuck off_. Sanno looked surprised, but I saw the evil in his eyes when he grinned, and refrained from hissing at Shisui.

"Aw, Shisui, don't be _greedy_ now." Sanno teased.

Pffft~hahahahahahaahahahahaha! Oh this is great. He's merciless.

"Wha- _Listen_! _I'm_ not being greedy, okay!? … … We might need help with shurikenjutsu…" He mumbled with an "I don't care" expression and red cheeks. He wisely returned to his food as I turned back to Sanno.

"Ah, _shurikenjutsu_. How good of a marksman are you, Yuzuha?"

"Eh? Marksman? Well… I'm good at _archery_ …" I trailed off because that was the truth. I didn't want to lie. I was _great_ at archery, as for throwing knives…? The closest I ever came to was when Tommy and I bought a dart board.

…

Of course my dorky ass threw those darts as if they were kunai… They hit the freakin' board with a thump similar to the one in the anime, too; you can imagine how many rainbows I vomited and how much Tommy laughed at my dorkiness.

Sanno grinned.

"That's good, but a good shinobi uses kunai and shuriken _first_ before he specializes in anything else."

"Okay." Fair enough.

"Tell you what…" He replied, but then turned to rifle around in the pouch at his thigh. "…I'm getting promoted soon anyway…." More rifling around, clinking metal and whatnot. I see where this is going… "…so I think I can—ah! Got it!" He pulled out a _sharp_ kunai. "I think I can give you this to train with. Get used to its weight and _don't cut yourself or lose it_. It's sharp _and_ expensive." He pulled out a small, blue cloth from some other pouch, wrapped the kunai in it and gave it to me. Meanwhile, I was gaping at him, so surprised, because really, I wasn't expecting him to just give away a kunai like that. I couldn't help my excited smile as I launched myself into his midsection and squeezed his ginormous torso as hard as I could.

"Arigatoarigatoarigatoarigato _arigato_ — _ttebane_!"

Sanno laughed at me mussed my hair again. I gripped the clothed kunai tightly as I pulled away from him. I didn't want to drop it _or_ cut myself _or_ him. I mean, at the end of the day it's just a knife and it's covered, but still. Happily, I placed it in my lap.

"Will you teach me how to use it?" I asked. Sanno chuckled.

"Nah, I have a few important missions coming up, so I can't, _but_ little ' _Shii-chan'_ is as good as I am, so he'll do." He insulted Shisui's nickname and I _swear_ I _felt_ the aggravation in his chakra. I also felt the glare he sent Sanno, but that's because I'm sure it pierced straight _through_ me to reach him. I shrugged.

"Okay." I smiled. "Arigato."

"Heh, you're cute Yuzuha-chan." Again, he patted my head and I returned to my food as Kina-san placed two cups of tea on the pale, marble counter for the ever-silent Shuu and Sanno. I took a few bites of my food before I remembered what we were talking about before.

"So I can _demand_ to take the test early?" I asked Shisui.

Shuu chuckled and _finally_ said something. His voice was hushed, deep and wispy, but confident at the same time.

"You can _request_ to take it early." He explained and I frowned.

"I'll probably have to _demand_ it, anyway." Why _not_ just skip the formality? It's just a formality. They'll probably call me crazy and tell me _no_ and I'll have to put my foot down _anyway_. I might even have to make them feel stupid for wasting a student's "crucial" time. I mean, come _on_ , I'm sure there's _some_ war going on with Iwa or Kiri or both right now, right? I'm sure they need as many able bodies as possible. It's illogical to waste a week of my time if I feel ready to move on to help _them_.

Shisui shrugged.

"Do what you want, but I think you're ready. You know more now than most of the kids in the regular classes do, anyway."

I frowned at him.

"I don't think so. I still feel far behind."

Shisui grinned overconfidently.

"Far behind _me_ you mean?"

I shrugged, brushing off his ego.

"Something like that. I still have to beat you one day, remember?" I smirked. Shisui snorted.

"This is turning into some sort of samurai story where the student trains to kill his master." Shisui laughed. I scrunched my nose.

"Nah, I don't want my life to be a cliché." I replied with a shake of my head.

Sanno laughed.

"You're quite the character, Yuzuha-chan."

I grinned brightly.

" _Arigato_." I thanked, because _that's_ a compliment.

I munched on my food as I thought about the test… I _should_ take it sooner. The sooner the better, right? But… I still needed to make my clone read and take notes tonight. I also need to go see Hiru-jii and Naru-chan…

Agh! I have so much to do! _And_ I have to crucify Danzo too!

Time's a wastin'! I should finish this quickly and move on to the next thing. Surprisingly, I finished eating first, _just_ as Kina-san placed Sanno and Shuu's plates down in front of them. I sighed, satisfied, and bowed my head towards Kina-san as she swept the floor of her small stand.

"Thanks again, Kina-san!" I grinned.

" _Eeeeeeeeeeeh!?_ " I looked over and found Shisui _almost_ done with his food, his mouth dropped as he gaped at me _and_ my plate with amazement. Kina-san laughed.

"I guess you found someone who can eat faster than you, Shii-chan."

Heh heh, yeaaaaaah. I've always had an appetite. In my last life, my boyfriend was amazed that I could keep up with him, too. We didn't eat a lot of the same stuff, though. He liked his junky, crap-food that I gained weight just _looking_ at, and I liked my organic foods. I _binged_ on fruit on occasion, and of course, he'd chow through three rows of chocolate chip cookies, but we both _loved_ sushi.

Thinking about that… it actually kind of makes me sad to be at a sushi stand, eating _really_ good, practically _heavenly_ sushi without him. Since I met him we _never_ ate sushi without each other; doing so was synonymous with betrayal; it was our _thing_.

"Don't feel bad, Yuzuha-chan!"

Again, Sanno was ruffling my hair, apparently his _favorite_ thing to do. I think he thought I was offended at the comments about my appetite.

"I'm not offended. I'm _proud_ of my bottomless stomach. I just kinda… miss my family…" I murmured with a shrug.

Tommy wasn't family. We dated for five years… _five whole years_ , but we weren't married… but that didn't mean that we didn't _plan_ on being married once I was done with college and had a big girl job. I missed him _and_ my blood family.

Their chakras seemed to _drop_ in a way that made me realize they were sad. Sanno placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I decided to laugh, even though my heart was hurting.

"It's alright, though, really! They say two rivers meet again in the ocean, right?"

"Mn, they do, Yuzuha-chan." Sanno assured. It was a fucking lie, of course, but hey, we all like to have the illusion of warmth and fuzziness and good feelings. They have no idea that apparently when you die, you get thrown into someone else's body in another world.

Or maybe I'm not normal and this is just an exception that doesn't happen to most people… who knows.

Shisui finished his food while I finished my tea, and soon afterwards we were bowing and giving our thanks to Kina-san, Sanno and Shuu. Kina-san invited me to come back whenever I wanted and Sanno wished me luck with my training while Shuu smiled and told me it was nice meeting me. My mood improved, and Shisui kept pace next to me as I began to tiredly walk home.

"Are you going home?" He asked, curiously.

"Kind of. I'm going to the tower to visit Hiru-jiji and my otouto first, and then I'm going home."

Shisui grinned. "I'll walk you." He offered, but I frowned.

"But by the time you turn go home it'll be late…"

Shisui shrugged. "'Not like I really have anyone to come home to…" He quietly replied.

 _That_ broke my heart; it really fucking did. If it wasn't weird, or illegal for that matter, I'd tell him to pack his stuff and move in with me.

"Alright, then." I smiled, ignoring the urge to offer up my apartment, _despite_ the consequences. "Sounds good."

Shisui grinned as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark, scuffed pants. "You're going to _kill_ that test! And when you do, if they put you in the right class, you might even get to meet my cousin!"

He said it with a light-hearted grin, but dread pooled in my stomach…

"… _if_ they put you in the right class…"

Once again, I'm going to have to leave things up to fate and take things from there.

I _hate_ not being in control…

* * *

So… I was supposed to go to the gym this morning before work, but I had to make this chapter happen. PM or review me any errors I might have overlooked; I don't take offense to good critiques! Speaking of critiques, I love you guys so much for all your reviews! Like, seriously! It warms my heart to read a review and honestly, it motivates me to come out with updates faster! I love reading about your thoughts and theories and I'm glad you guys think Shisui is cute. He's adorable… despite his secret, dark, shinobi side!

Anyway, I can't wait to hear from you guys!

See ya' later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: Naruto ™® is a product of Masashi Kishimoto. I make no profits posting this work; it is purely fan-made.


	4. Roses and Kunai

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|4|

The next day, I had to _argue_ with Ushiru-sensei in order to convince him that I was ready to take the test in three days. Tch " _request_ " my jinchuriki _ass_ ; sensei's a stubborn old goat so I ended up telling him I knew Konoha was in need of shinobi and that by _not_ letting me perform at the level I _knew_ I could, he was indirectly hurting the village. Yes, that was a cheap shot at his pride as a teacher and shinobi, but what did you expect from me? I've told you before, and I'll tell you again, _I do what I have to._ To be honest though, it really _was_ fucked up, what I said… 

"How many Konoha shinobi are dying right now, sensei? How many will die if I don't progress as quickly as I can to get out there and help them!?" I was so passionate, too. I had his poor, old heart in knots. As for me, was I ready to take the exam? Meh. At this point, I was too tired to even think about it. The night before, after Shisui dropped me off at the tower, I spent some time with Naruto and Hiruzen, playing shogi and learning calligraphy—the beginnings of fuuinjutsu disguised; a sneaky maneuver Hiru-jiji made that I did _not_ miss— I had a clone stay up _all_ night reading and taking notes on the academy books I thought were most important. Those were:

Chakra: It's Role in History and Ninjutsu

Ninja Handbook A: Rules and Guidelines of Shinobi Life

Law and Village Structure and a Shinobi's Role in it

I couldn't fall asleep because the clone would pop so I ended up meditating, cleaning and reading the books Yuzuha #2 had yet to take notes on. I disregarded books like the "Known History of the World" text for obvious reasons and "Kunoichi in the Shinobi System Book A"… which, by the way that class is the worst class, like, ever. I fell asleep three times during lecture today. Kirei-sensei wasn't very happy with me… Speaking of which…

" _Uzumaki Yuzuha!"_

Shit. I wasn't asleep this time! Really! What's her deal?

"Yes, sensei?" I asked in monotone, ignoring snickers and feelings of disapproval radiating from the little future-fodder-kunoichi around me.

Kirei-sensei was a beautiful woman in her twenties. She had a long, brown and _shiny_ ponytail that she tied back with a big, black bow. She dressed in a traditional lavender kimono, decorated with silver lilies and had her black Konoha headband pinned to her plum obi.

She made me want to vomit. She was _totally_ the type of kunoichi Danzo must have sent on sex-related assassinations thousands of times. _All_ high-profile, wealthy motherfuckers kept their dick far out of their pants, if they ever wore any, and women like Kirei-sensei were obviously sent to infiltrate their inner circle of fuckery one way or another. Don't get me wrong, using sex as a means to an end wasn't a bad strategy; kunoichi were the perfect prey that would turn into the perfect predator, but that didn't mean that what they did didn't piss me off.

While we're on the topic of sex in a kunoichi's life, Kirei-sensei had already taught us about the importance of contraception-seals after she had "the talk" with us, complete with discussions about periods and pubes and all that. We're fucking six years old; it's sick. Oh, and yeah, fun fact of the day: all kunoichi wax… like everything… _everything_. When's their first wax, you ask? Genin graduation. The shit is mandatory, I fuck with you not. According to Kirei-sensei it's for comfort and scentlessness on missions but I think that's bullshit. She just doesn't want to tell us that we might have to whore ourselves out one day and a pristine vagina is more appetizing to a man than a furry one. Whatever. I'm not afraid of the future waxing— I didn't own a razor in my last life— the point is that all this shit could've been introduced later, like the year of genin graduation. We're six, not ten. Most of the girls in class had no idea what a dick looked like before today.

Say what you want; the whole lesson was irritating.

Anyway, we were all sitting on a flower-covered hill with a _huge_ Sakura tree right at the top of it. The petals weren't pink or anything— it's October— but it was still a pretty tree and a very feminine and soft setting. We took a field trip—A.K.A. a waste of time— to get here and now me, and the seven other little girls around me, were sitting in a disorganized group in front of Kirei-sensei.

"I would like you to _pay attention_. We _will_ have a test on the materials covered when we arrive back at the academy." She informed tightly.

"Hai." Again, monotone.

"Now," She clapped, getting back to business now that she was finished picking on me with good reason, "you girls are going to put together a bouquet of flowers. This one has to be made in a way that conveys friendship and possible love… a _confession_ bouquet. Squeals and oos and ahhs swept the group and Kirei-sensei smiled approvingly.

You know, I was never a very feminine kid. My dad left my mom, my six-month-old baby sister, and me with sixty dollars in the bank and a mountain of debt on their shared credit card. I was a little over six years old and from that point on, after being abused for the first five years of my life, I had to be the man of the house. I fixed the broken furniture. I put shelves up. I took out the trash.

But it wasn't just all of that. I did the "woman duties" too. I changed my sister's diapers. I shielded my sister from my mother's subsequent sugar-daddies and the falseness of their so-called "relationships". You can imagine why I was an angry kid and why instead of worrying about makeup and looking pretty and wearing nice clothes wasn't my top priority.

I mean, I'll always be a female, that's a fact. I _did_ have crushes IRL. Most of my crushes were on boys in anime that didn't exist, but occasionally I'd find the flesh and bone boy cute too. When I was older and came to terms with my life, I wore makeup. I wore nice clothes.

But I was _still_ never girly… and damned proud of it.

You want me to push a car up a hill? No problem. Build a barbeque? No problem. Shoot a gun? No problem.

 _And_ I did all that being a Northerner in America so you can't even say it's because I'm a rugged, Southern cowgirl. Suck it, bitches.

Anyway, me and stupid glittery and sparkly things…? No. Just, no. There are better things to focus on.

"The bouquets will be graded ten minutes before the end of class, and then we will return to the academy to take the test." Kirei-sensei informed.

 _Finally;_ I'll get to move on to the Strategy lesson with Ushiru-sensei. No information is useless information; you'd be surprised how handy knowledge on menial subjects is, but there isn't much to being prim and feminine. It's easy to act out. That being said, I feel like I missed a lot of important information at the academy because of this class and I genuinely hope I _won't_ have to take it in the advanced classes that I'll _definitely_ get into, hell or high water.

Failure is _not_ an option.

Anyway, I got up, moved over to the base of the Sakura tree, and sat down on the hill around some pansies and lilies. I had no clue what they conveyed other than "hey, we're great friends with bug colonies, wanna see?"

A _huge_ rose bush at the bottom of the hill caught my attention. Most of the girls queued there, giggling and picking roses and I swear I could almost _feel_ Kirei-sensei glaring at my back from behind me. Actually, I'm pretty sure she was.

Roses, huh? …

" _I didn't know what to get you, because we were only dating a week. Yellow roses symbolize friendship, so even if we broke up a month later or something, I wouldn't regret my gift and there would be no hard feelings."_

I slapped a hand over my mouth as I felt my eyes burn and then water. I bit my lower lip to silence the sob that threatened to alert others to the wave of emotion that just overcame me at the memory of that confession Tommy made _so_ long ago. It must've been a year or two into our relationship. We literally got together less than a week before my birthday so he was between a rock and a hard place when it came to getting the right gift. But of course, Tommy was slick and got me a bouquet of yellow roses. He was the first guy to get me flowers that _weren't_ cheesy and standard. I rubbed the tears away from my eyes and took a shaky breath, determined now that the brief sad-spell had passed.

 _Tommy_ was going to help me today. I stood up with purpose, presence infallible. Just because I hate this class doesn't mean I'm going to get a shitty grade in it. I marched down that hill with straight shoulders and a confident gait.

Fuck everyone. I'm going to pick yellow and red roses.

Apparently, her Royal Majesty of the Bitch Court didn't agree. A few yards away from my destination, she stepped in front of me with her ladies-in-waiting, blocking my access to the rose-wall.

Masaki Nozomi: leader of the clique of three of the brattiest little snobs in Konoha history. They were like the midget versions of Regina George and her crew, except they wore kimonos.

Annoying.

Nozomi was _seven_ years old, so apparently because she was the oldest, she was the _coolest_. She had dark, plum hair cut in a bob similar to mine, and she did _not_ like that fact. Her eyes were a pretty, emerald green and she was truly way more evil than she appeared on the outside.

Her "besties" were Kaizo Ayana, a brown-eyed sandy-blonde with long, wavy hair and a mouth that spoke words so venomous and damaging Orochimaru would get jealous, and Eisei Manna, a brunette that wore her hair in an elaborate up-do and accentuated her eyes by brushing her admittedly shitty lashes with dark mascara.

They _loved_ their kimonos, man. I don't get it. It's just not practical for training purposes, but I guess they don't plan on doing any serious training for a while. Each of them wore a different color kimono, but they all had chrysanthemums decorating the delicate fabric.

Nozomi placed her hands on her nonexistent hips just below her fire-red obi.

"Finally caught on, _useless-Yuzuha_?" She smugly smirked at me, referring to my arriving late to the rose-bush. The way she carried herself you would think she was taller than me. But she wasn't; she was shorter. Ayana snickered, but Manna stayed quiet, observing the exchange. Out of the three of them she was the only one who was a decent person. I have no idea why she chose to roll with the other two. I sighed to myself; I really didn't want to get into a fight over a bouquet of flowers.

"I was never out of the loop in the first place, _no-knowledge- Nozomi_." I replied in an uninterested tone. The "I don't care" in my voice as I insulted her seemed to piss her off. "Please remove yourself from my path; your unsightly kimono is making the roses behind you wilt."

Her eyes sharpened faster than a shinobi could draw a kunai, and even Manna and Ayana looked a little surprised. Nozomi did _not_ like to be defied and her temper was _nasty_.

"Listen tomato-hair, I don't like you near me or my friends. Go back to your hill where we don't have to look at _your_ 'unsightly' face." She hissed.

This bitch…

"You really _are_ stupid. And here I thought it was just an act. Are you aware that _you_ approached _me_?" I asked.

"Nozomi-chan, _look_ a butterfly!" Some oblivious girl called from the other end of the rose-wall. My eyes snapped to her and she blushed as she realized she interrupted the esteemed Empress of the Idiot Dynasty. Oops.

Nozomi's malachite eyes snapped back to me and they locked with mine.

"When you _fail_ this year, just know that you deserve it." She hissed, and did that thing that bitches do where they sharply turn on their heel and stomp away. She didn't do the hair-flip because she kept her hands on her curve-less hips but she may as well have.

I shook my head and Manna and Ayana shot me different looks as they followed her like the devoted little disciples of the Wench Cult that they were. I wasn't worried; there would be revenge later and it would be three times as bad as what they delivered.

…Sometimes I really think I would've done better as an Uchiha, but we can't _all_ be masters at vengeance and have cool sharingan eyes and susanoos.

I decided to walk over to the far end of the rosebush and turned to the side just as sharply as Nozomi did, not lost on the fact that most of my classmates had floated away from me as quickly and stealthily as possible. It was obvious they were told to avoid me by their parents, but it didn't bother me. On the scale of things to care about that wasn't even _on_ the scale. I have a massacre to prevent, a little brother to raise, and a crusty old guy with a freak-arm to kill.

When I turned, I collided with someone's face so forcefully I closed my eyes on instinct as I swallowed a gasp. I fell backwards, completely _aggravated_ that _again_ I had gotten distracted enough with my inner musings to _not_ pay attention to my surroundings.

" _Ow!"_ I hissed in unison with whoever I ran into. I had clonked the side of my head and now, as I sat on the plush grass, I was rubbing my temple fruitlessly. Glaring, I looked up to find Shisui with his eyes squeezed shut and a hand covering his nose.

"Jeez, Yuzu~…" He whined as he ran his thumb over the bridge of his nose.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have training with your team or something?" I asked as I clambered to my feet, dusting off my shorts.

"Well, I'm actually training now… see?" He waved his arm, and I noticed he had a red cloth pinned to the short sleeve of his ebony Uchiha tunic. I tilted my head, curiously, wondering what kind of exercise they were doing that involved red flags. They were probably fighting each other for them, but that didn't explain his presence here, now did it?

He was grinning and practically _vibrating_ with energy. I could see his little chest rise and fall rapidly, but not deeply; he had definitely been running.

"Oh." I blinked.

"I saw you and thought I'd say hi." His grin faded, however. "Those girls looked mean; did they say something to you?" He asked, and I smirked.

"Nothing I couldn't defend myself against." I shrugged and then grinned. "I'm planning on stuffing dirt and thorns into their kimonos later." I figured it would be okay to tell Shisui of my awesome revenge plan. The Uchiha boy blinked, and then, unable to hold back his laughter, he snorted and burst out laughing.

"Dirt and thorns?" He asked, and then laughed some more.

" _What_?" I asked, annoyed. Why is that so funny? I _knew_ I'd end up stuffing dirt into some girl's kimono eventually. Fuck this class, seriously. Shisui cleared his throat and a mischievous expression settled on his face.

"Why don't you just place a spider on the back of her neck?" He asked, smirking at his evil idea.

My eyes widened. That was _genius_! Except, there was a way to improve on his suggestion…

"Ne, Shisui?" He blinked at me as I smirked back at him.

"Mn?"

"'Think you could keep an eye out for some house centipedes for me?" I asked, and his dark eyes widened in surprise before he grinned ear-to-ear with mischief.

"You're horrible Yuzu-chan; a true evil genius." He complemented. I chuckled to myself.

"What are you talking about, Shisui? I only learn from the best." I complemented back, because really, there was no way to permanently scar someone faster than sticking an ugly bug somewhere on their skin—unless they were of the Aburame clan, but that's the only exception—and Shisui was the one to come up with the idea first.

"You know, you might have to find a basement or a cell—

" _UCHIHA SHISUIIIIIII!"_ A girl's voice threateningly pierced the atmosphere and we both paused. She sounded absolutely _livid._ Shisui's suddenly panicked expression made _me_ worry and both of us paled at the same time.

"Yabai! Ja-ne Yuzu-chan! See you at the tree!" He saluted me and then disappeared, _just_ as an angry kunoichi dropped down from _somewhere_ right onto the spot he just vacated. She was breathing so hard I swear I worried that she would get a heart attack.

She had straight, brown hair tied into a practical, low pony, long bangs framing her face and red fang-esque tattoos marking her pretty face.

Inuzuka Hana.

Where were her dogs?

She landed in a crouch, dressed in tight-fitting black pants, blue sandals, and a pale pink zip-up jacket lacking a hood. She turned intense, brown eyes towards me and I could only stare at her in awe.

"Did you see where that jerk went?"

Jerk? Shisui isn't a jerk… How _dare_ she?

"You mean Shisui?" I asked, innocently. She glared back at me; I was costing her time. I resisted the urge to snicker. I like Hana, but Shisui's my bro. I really _didn't_ see where he went, but when I concentrated on him, I found him _far_ to the east of our location, somewhere in the residential district.

"Um, well he was going really fast…" I stalled with a perfectly-faked frown.

"You _know_ where he is." She dead-panned, and I could tell she was pretty mad. Shisui must've _stolen_ that red cloth from Hana; their jounin sensei was a great teacher, obviously, if that was the exercise; it tested a whole slew of shinobi skills. Heh, Shisui's pretty good at trickery, so I'm honestly not surprised Hana's fed up with him.

"Ma~ybe…" I grinned. She glared at me and I pretended to be afraid of her, putting my hands up in a submissive pose. "Alright, alright, jeez. No wonder he messes with you, if you get this angry this quickly… He went that way." I pointed South, and she smirked.

"Thanks, kid…" She smiled genuinely.

I shrugged. "Don't thank me." I replied just as she shot off in the wrong direction. I was probably going to get bit in the ass for that one later, but it would be worth it if it helped Shisui even a little. I turned back to the yellow roses and smiled at them. I wish I could _tell_ Tommy what had happened to me, but he was worlds away, probably dating another girl only because I made him promise long ago that if something happened to me he should. I made him the same promise. It was morbid, but hey, I didn't have health insurance and he rode motorcycles; it was kind of necessary.

I started to carefully pluck the roses, keeping an eye out for any centipedes that may have been hiding from the sun in the cool bush.

-X-

After school, despite practically being a zombie, I headed towards my tree to meet Shisui. Come to think of it, I have to say that I'm glad I wasn't thrust into a world where there was a zombie apocalypse going on. I love resident evil and all, but those lickers and regenerators are two foes I hope to _never_ face, like ever. I made it to the tree on time, and as soon as I stepped into the clearing, Shisui landed right in front of me. I sensed him this time, since I was actively _looking_ for him, so I can proudly say that I didn't flinch or react to his abrupt entrance. He was grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Hana was _pissed_." He revealed immediately.

Of course she was; I lied to her. I grinned back at Shisui as I went to put my books down against the tree trunk. Shisui eyed the books for a minute as I turned to face him.

"She was looking _all over_ the woods for me." He snickered. "She wasted time and failed the exercise so she's treating my team to dinner tomorrow after training." He chuckled to himself. "You lied to her."

"I did." I nodded, unashamed, though I totally should have been.

"Yeah, well she really wasn't expecting it."

I shrugged. "It's a ninja village. Isn't it obvious that you shouldn't trust every stranger you meet?" I retorted. Shisui took a moment to study me with sparkly eyes. Really, you should've seen the giddiness he was holding back; it was priceless. Then, he cracked up.

I guess you wouldn't expect an academy student to lie to you with a straight face. His laughing made me laugh and soon we were out of breath.

"She was fooled by an _academy student._ Even sensei made fun of her a little. You're in trouble next time she catches you." He informed. I reached my arms towards the treetops and stretched.

"Yeah, I know." I exhaled. "What are we working on first today?" I asked and he smirked.

"You totally want to try working with kunai, don't you?" He grinned, but I frowned. I had the kunai wrapped tightly in the cloth that I attached to my shorts under my t-shirt and I _was_ excited to use it, _but_ I didn't know what I wanted to work on _more_ : shurikenjutsu or taijutsu?

"I don't know what I want to do more…" I replied.

"Let's start with warm-ups and taijutsu. You need to be loosened up before you get into throwing kunai anyway." He explained and I nodded in response. "I'll teach you how to make more than one clone, too, 'might as well."

 _That_ put the life back into me.

"Sit-ups and stuff first?" I asked excitedly and he gave an equally excited nod in response.

"Mn! Whoever does the most, wins!"

-X-

It was getting dark, fast, and I had no desire to get up off the forest floor, bugs be damned. Shisui's hair tickled the side of my face. We were both exhausted, laying in a starfish position, his feet pointing North, mine pointing South.

"I have to go." I whined, but I didn't even want to lift an arm. I was shaking from all the adrenaline and I just wanted to shut my eyes and sleep. Thinking about sleep made me yawn loudly and I gave no fucks as I failed to cover my mouth.

Shisui laughed quietly, as if he were conscious of the fact that he might damage my ear drums speaking too loudly this close to my face. I watched as shadowed birds shot from tree-branch to tree-branch above us and prayed to God that they wouldn't shit on us.

"You have to see Hokage-sama again?" He asked.

"Mn. I see him and Naru-chan every night." I explained, and realized that I kind of missed my outoto. He was a vegetable most of the time, but it was fun to talk to him when he was awake. He always stared up at me with the _widest, bluest, most curious_ eyes ever. He rarely cried except when he shat himself, probably because it was uncomfortable for him. I don't blame him. In my last life, I was out of diapers as soon as I could crawl and place my ass on the little kiddie toilet, according to my mother.

"It must be nice having a younger sibling." He mused.

"…Were you the only child?" I asked, but then quickly added, "Do you mind me asking?"

"I don't mind." He replied. "I had two older brothers. They were twins."

"Oh…"

 _Whaaaaat_!? See, what the fuck. In cannon, Shisui was _such_ an underrated character. Who would've thought he had older siblings!? Grrrr Kishimoto; you could've given him a little more backstory!

"The village was attacked one night when the Third Shinobi War broke out. They died protecting my mother and my father died during the counter-attack to drive Iwa out of the village." His voice was soft but serious. I bit my lip, because I felt bad… bad enough to cry, because believe me, if you were laying here and a nine-year-old was telling you how his family was brutally killed in one night, you would want to cry too.

"When they finally released us from the safe-houses I ran home… the iryo-nin didn't get to kaa-san in time, and I ended up alone."

…

"Did you get to say goodbye?" I asked.

"Mn… she told me she loved me, so I'm not mad."

"That shouldn't have happened." I found myself murmuring. "There's no reason for that."

No reason at fucking all. Shisui shrugged.

"Things happen, I guess. It's the world we live in. They tried their hardest."

I sat up so fast his hair briefly defied gravity.

"It won't be that way in the future." I declared, because damn it I'll make sure it isn't! Naruto is going to change everything and I'm going to be there, helping him every step of the way.

"Eh?" He made an awfully old-sounding groan as he sat up himself. "Man, that was difficult… I feel like a grandpa."

His easy-going nature didn't pull me out of my funk. I had a goal, and I wasn't going to waste time chilling out on a forest floor.

"Shisui, I have to go." I sorely climbed to my feet and brushed sticky, damp leaves off of my clothes and bare legs. "I'll see you here tomorrow."

"Oi, matteh!" He grabbed my wrist and used me to pull himself up; I damn-near fell and screwed us _both_ over. "Did I make you depressed?" He asked _so_ directly. I gave him a soft frown.

"No; you just reminded me why I need to keep training."

He looked confused.

"You train when you go see Hokage-sama?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"No, well, kind of. He says he's teaching me 'calligraphy' but I'm not _dumb;_ I know it's the basics of fuuinjutsu."

Shisui's face looked like the definition of "oh."

"Oh." He continued frowning, though. "Listen, I'm sorry for—

I grabbed his hand and he abruptly stopped talking. It was like a miracle "off" button. I squeezed his fingers.

"I'm glad you told me. You inspired me. I'm going to help change this world. You'll see, one way or another; things _will_ be different." I promised. "It might not be soon, but it _will_ be."

He studied me almost too critically for a moment, as if he was trying to see into my soul, but I didn't waver. He eventually smiled and squeezed my hand back, then dropped it.

"Then I'll help you change the world too."

I smirked. Now _that's_ what I like to hear. "Exactly. Now, are you coming to the tower with me, or not?" It would be nice to try to get him a little more acquainted with Hiruzen, anyway. Shisui ended up working for Danzo in cannon, so maybe if I pushed him in jiji's direction, a little, that could change.

"I would race you there if I wasn't so tired." He chuckled as he started walking. I fell into step with him, and fell into my thoughts as we quietly made our way out of the woods.

Sparring with Shisui was exhilarating but it mostly brought the reality of this world into focus. It's not just an anime. The "characters" are actually people and they're _tangible_. Every punch that rocked my arms or abs, every kick that connected with my shin or palm was _real_. The future of this place is _real_ and I'm the only one who can do anything about it. Tired or not, I have a long way to go before I win the game; I can't slack off now.

 _Failure is not an option._

Hopefully, Hiru-jiji will amp up the "calligraphy" practice tonight…

-X-

That night, I actually slept. I could have stayed up to review notes or maybe reread some books but that wasn't a smart idea; I needed sleep for the next day. I had some trippy dream that I was driving my car and when I woke up I wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. However, responsibilities called and I did my morning exercises before I ate and went to school.

During break time I found a secluded spot behind the school building to make a clone and study, study, _study._ I had all the ninja rules memorized by the end of the lunch period. Coincidentally, Ushiru-sensei taught us the first thirty rules when we got back inside. We had a pop quiz on the first five after our math and history lessons. Of _course_ I passed it. The kids didn't like that and if I didn't sense a boy's chakra fluctuate the way I did, I'd here bitching about having gum in my hair. I made sure to terrorize the little brat afterwards. He was surprised I dodged the chewed gum without looking in the first place; imagine how terrified he was when I turned and smirked at him, a promising expression on my face. I saw a chill crawl up his spine; it was _awesome._

When school ended, that kid bolted out of his seat so fast Shisui would've had a hard time catching him. Smirking, and being happily ignored, I gathered my books into my arms and left to meet the Uchiha at my tree. Once I was there, he immediately jumped down from his usual branch, attempting to drop-kick me in the chest. Wisely, I held out my books and then deflected his kick as soon as it connected with the hardcover binding, sending him spiraling towards the forest floor where he landed safely in a crouched position. I turned, adrenaline rushing and senses hyper-aware. He smirked and it was game on from there. He pulled out a kunai, I tossed my books at the tree trunk, and then pulled out _my_ kunai, we both made clones two clones and the rigorous training began again.

I had never tried so hard to physically accomplish something in my entire life. Trying hard at the gym was a joke compared to how hard I tried to fight against Shisui. I didn't know if they would have me spar with someone during the test and god _damn it_ I wanted nothing more than to pass that test with _flying_ mother fuckin colors just to see that kid smile on his birthday.

Again, after training, Shisui walked me to the tower where we parted ways. I hung out with Naru-chan and Hiru-jiji and _finally_ got the old man to admit that his "calligraphy lessons" were really beginner Fuuinjutsu characters. A false story about my parents got him talking really fast. "Tou-san used to teach me this stuff, too! He said if I learned my calligraphy I'd be able to do awesome jutsu!" I was so innocent about it, too, but that was I got away with being _too_ good at replicating the things he was teaching me. _And_ the lie guilt tripped him enough for him to get serious about teaching me more. Basically, I totally duped the third mother fucking hokage into being my _official_ sensei. Calling him jiji-sensei from that moment on sealed the deal.

He was impressed with my "observational skills" and my "ability to learn quickly".

Score one for Yuzuha! Douchey-Danzo: _zero_! …Well, as far as I know, at least.

I'm telling you, when I leave this world, I will probably go to hell for all the emotional manipulation I do. Or I'll wind up in My Little Pony or something god-awful like Teletubies that's just about equivalent to hell, but either way, I used the dead and the living for the greater good. I'll be trapped in Dipsy's body and eating pink slime knowing that I at least did something good for Naruto… for Itachi… and for Shisui and everyone else that I cherished as characters.

I went home, studied, slept and repeated the same process again. The more I watched Shisui and sparred with him, the better I got. We started to train with three clones, instead of just one after we realized that I could handle the mental stress that awaited me once those clones popped out of existence. Now, instead of one or two Yuzuhas gaining experience, there were _four_ in total, and I was learning _four_ times as fast.

Just because Shisui was playing sensei, however, didn't mean that I wasn't teaching Shisui anything, either. The night before my test, as part one of his birthday gift, I invited him over to play shogi. I made him tea, _and_ kicked his ass all within the time span of forty-five minutes.

"What the _hell_ Yuzu!" He whined s he smacked his covered forehead with his palm.

I smirked at him from the other side of the bloody battlefield that was the shogi board and took a sip out of a blue teacup provided by Konoha's DCA. I shrugged.

"You weren't bad… you're just rusty." I kindly offered. He gave me a flat look and crossed his arms.

"You're just saying that." He replied flatly.

"Hmm… okay, you're right. You suck at shogi, Shisui." I blatantly admitted. What? If he wanted blunt honesty, he'd get it.

His mouth dropped open.

"You _actually_ said that…"

I shrugged again.

"You didn't want 'nice' so I gave you 'blunt'." I took another sip. "Hence, you suck at shogi."

His lips twisted and he grumbled.

"You really don't hold back."

I snorted.

"Why would I? You deserve the truth anyway. You _do_ suck, but you _will_ get better. You'll probably beat me someday, too." I smiled at him and he ended up grinning back, easy-going as usual once again.

"I can't wait for that day. Maybe practicing with you will help me beat Itachi too."

Heh. Shisui makes it too easy sometimes.

"You talk about him a lot." I stated, trying to open up a conversation about his cousin. Any scrap of information I can get, I'll take. I wasn't expecting much, but it wouldn't hurt, would it?

"Well, yeah. He's like an otouto to me like Naru-chan is to you. That's why were kinda the same; I want to protect him like you want to protect Naru-chan. You're a lot like him too, though; he learns fast and plays shogi really well."

"Mhmm…"

Interesting. Itachi is such a mysterious character, don't you think? I mean, Kishimoto described his relationship with Sasuke and made us all cry about his involvement with the Uchiha massacre but we never really found out about Itachi himself other than the fact that he's a prodigy and a pacifist and a loving, but sacrificial elder brother; a tragic character.

Who would've thought he was a beast at shogi? It's not a _surprising_ fact, but it's a fact never stated before. Did you know that Shisui is ultra-paranoid about his teeth not being clean enough? I can relate to that, but that's not the point. The point is that Kishimoto didn't put these details into cannon. If he did it would've been more interesting, but then again, the Manga would've been more than seven hundred chapters. Ain't nobody got time for that.

"You'll see when you meet him." Shisui grinned as he started picking up the shogi pieces and putting them inside the folding, wooden board.

"You don't know that. I might not be put in his class, you know." I warned, but Shisui easily shrugged.

"Eh, who knows? 'Tachi says that there are only two advanced classes this year, so you have a fifty-fifty chance." He shrugged to himself as he shut the board and spun the small brass clasp into place, sealing the wooden pieces inside until our next game.

Well, that was good information. I'll take fifty-fifty. It's a good chance.

"Anyhow, I have to get going. You need your sleep and I have a small mission tomorrow." Shisui started as he pushed himself off of the floor, shogi board in-hand.

"On your birthday?" I asked with a frown. I guess your birthday doesn't matter when you're a child-soldier…

"Yeah, but don't worry, I'll be back by the time you finish your test after school!" He assured, which had me smiling. I can't tell him how the test went if he's not home after I take it.

"Awesome! You better not be late."

He smirked as I got up off the floor and walked him to my door.

"I'm always early, Yuzu, you know that." He replied and it was true. He was always the first one to the tree every day, but then again, he didn't have the academy holding him back.

"Just making sure." I chirped back as I opened the sad-looking wooden door to my apartment.

"Heh, Oyasumi Yuzu-chan. Do your best and goodluck!" He wished with a grin.

"No promises, remember freak accidents _do_ happen." Especially ones involving fuzzy socks. Shisui chuckled as he waved my statement off with his free hand.

"Yeah, yeah. See you later." He waved.

"Be careful on your mission." I replied, voice serious. He wouldn't die just yet according to cannon, but I ruined everything by coming here, so you never know. He gave me a brief, surprised look, but broke out into a smile.

"Arigato, Yuzu."

And he blurred away and disappeared with his Hana-proof escape jutsu ® ™. I grinned at the mostly-wooden hallway he vacated and shut the door.

Tomorrow's going to be one hell of a day.

-X-

I'm going away for three weeks. I'll be overseas BUT I'm going to have plenty of opportunities to write and update so nothing is really going to change update-wise.

I hate planes.

As always thank you so much for the encouraging and entertaining reviews! They are _all_ so much appreciated!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: I have no rights to Naruto ®™ Said trademarks belongs to Masashi Kishomoto and co. This work is purely fan-made and accrues no monetary reward.


	5. The Test

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|5|

I thought I'd have time to write on vacation. Fat freaking chance. Between dealing with my sister's kiddie relationship issues with her 6-month boyfriend, gallivanting all across Europe and drinking and winding up in crappy nightclubs I had no opportunities to sit and write let alone be by myself. I'm so happy I managed to write this right before I left. The next chapter suffered greatly in regards to progress because of my trip and all the BS before, during and after, but hopefully I can make up for it and hopefully this semester won't be too crazy work-wise so I can just sit and write instead of keep all of this in my head.

* * *

I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as quietly as possible. When I turned my head and looked at the clock above the door to my classroom my heart accelerated; there was one minute left until school ended, which meant one minute left until I'm to meet Ushiru-sensei and some others to take THE TEST— DUN DUN DUNNNN.

All around me, the fodder-kids hustled and bustled handing in their finished quizzes. I was the third person to hand mine in and have been patiently reviewing information in my head since. Now, it was almost time and the reality of the situation was hitting me hard...

Do you guys realize that if I fail this test I'm going to be set back… like a lot? I'll never make ANBU at a freakishly young age; that's the main short-term goal for now: make ANBU… or make Itachi not become ANBU, but preferably make ANBU at the same time as Itachi so events flow sort of in the same way they did in cannon. I need to know what's coming so I can still manipulate things to my advantage to further my interests.

Deep breath…

Inhale until the lungs are completely filled…

Exhale until the lungs are completely empty.

Chill, Yuzuha. You got this.

"Alright, class. We'll meet again tomorrow." Ushiru-sensei spoke his official goodbye.

…And so it begins.

Conversations bloomed all throughout the classroom and I was forgotten in my spot next to the window as the fodder-children excitedly shot out of their seats and almost trampled each other trying to climb down the center staircase of the lecture-style seats. A full minute later, every child in my class had left and I was alone with Ushiru-sensei. I stood, picked up my books and smiled at the messenger bag Shisui lent me the other night. I placed the texts in it and slung it across my chest.

"Are you ready?" Sensei asked as I walked over to the stairs and hopped off of them, cycling my chakra through my system a little faster than normal, just to have it ready, just in case.

"I'm ready." I replied confidently. I'm as ready as I'm going to be. I've done all I can.

"Good, follow me."

He didn't wait for me as he slid everyone's papers off of his wooden desk top and placed them in the drawer beneath it. He made his way through the threshold and into the hallway and I trailed after him, taking two steps to every one of his.

I hate being short.

"You passed your quiz." He informed as we walked down the warmly lit, wooden hallway, lined with many wooden doors inset into the pale walls decorated with scrolls recalling tales and facts of famous shinobi.

"You graded it fast." I replied, genuinely surprised.

"I like to start off the grading process on a positive note." His lips quirked up and I smiled next to him. It was nice that my scores made his day better.

"Thanks." I replied to the complement. The rest of our walk down the hallway and around the corner was silent as little shinobi-to-be scampered past us, laughing and talking about how much ass they'd kick once they were out on the field. We passed a large bay window, another two doors, and finally came to a stop. Ushiru-sensei stood to the side as some children around my age walked out of a classroom, talking with each other. There were a lot of conversations about an upcoming competition and how to better themselves at taijutsu.

We stepped into the classroom, even though there were a couple kids still inside. Before I even _looked_ at the teacher sitting at the desk I swept the room with my eyes. My breath almost caught in my throat when I spotted a familiar face…

You guys won't believe this shit. It's like the universe or whatever controls the grand scheme of things just sets this shit up for me…

There was Uchiha Itachi, quietly ignoring everyone around him, putting his pencils in a pencil-case, and then _gracefully_ tossing said pencil-case into a satchel identical to the one the little future heartbreaker carried around in the anime.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. You could even see the little puffiness and bags starting to develop under his eyes. Poor kid must be having nightmares, but it's no surprise to me. Naruto funfact #262: Uchiha Itachi saw some serious shit during the war at a too-young age.

His hair was short and the kids around him seemed to ignore him just as much as he ignored them. He looked up… Then he looked at me.

Act cool, Yuzuha!

I relaxed and smiled because even though he looked tired he still seemed kind.

He smiled back…

I turned to the teacher at the desk…

…

…

End of silent conversation between Yuzuha and Itachi.

OH MY FUCKING GOD efhwfewlknlnvwkjgeuigqwhqklvnflknvjpo! One of my favorite characters! No joke! There he is! Like, really and seriously! He's so fucking adorable and oompa-loompa sized!

Looking at him now, you could never guess that this child would become a man capable of slaughtering his own family and clan… but then again, I'm sure that I didn't look that way either when I was a child. Am I capable of murder?

I'm not sorry to tell you that, _yes_. Yes I am. Under the right circumstances, I believe murder is permissible. I was never brainwashed into behaving myself according to what society deems as "proper". I wasn't a rude, publicly-farting snot, no, but if someone were trying to kill me, you best believe they'd end up dead first. If me murdering someone or a group of persons meant saving the world as I knew it from true disaster, you can bet your ass I'd go find a store that sells black gloves that very _hour_.

Besides, if you knew a fool that would sell their right to vote for a one-time payout of one million dollars I'm sure you would deem it logical to remove them from society, too. And that's a true statistic, too; I'm not making it up. Somewhere in America, there are a percentage of people that would sell their right to vote for a million dollars. There's a percentage out there that would sell their vote for an ipad touch, too.

I think that logically—all personal feelings cast aside— for the _greater good_ , they should die…

Maybe that's why I was a scary person in my last life.

Anyway, I mentally felt for Itachi's chakra signature. It had that cool sensation to it like all Uchiha had, but it held a certain smooth and liquid quality to it like mine did. While zoning in on him as the male teacher at the desk stood up and greeted Ushiru-sensei, I felt like I was being carried by a current in a rushing river on a hot summer day. He felt dangerous, but naturally graceful and controlled… refreshing.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha." The teacher, a middle-aged man with dark brown hair tied back in a low pony and matching chocolate eyes was asking for my attention.

"Sensei." I greeted back with a slight bow. There was no warmth in the man's eyes. They were like dark stones atop his expressionless countenance. I heard Itachi and some kid on the other side of the room moving to take the stairs and leave. They were both barely audible, unlike the loud and rambunctious kids in my class— proof that they really were the elite even though they were six-year-old midgets.

Shisui taught me how to muffle my footsteps using chakra earlier, too, so I'm not too far behind them. I was able to perfect the technique because of my exceptional chakra control—another life-hack I got just because I'm Uzumaki and a female.

Speaking of which, Itachi must have great chakra control if he can do that at this age. At least, that's what Shisui said when I got the technique down. "Look at that, you got it down faster than I did! That's impressive at your age; no one in my class could do that but me." He had explained.

"Uchiha Itachi." The other teacher addressed Itachi, just as he reached the bottom of the staircase. I turned my head to him. His eyes flicked to me, and then Ushiru-sensei, memorizing our positions, and then quickly locked onto to his sensei.

The kid is observant; it's impressive. You could see everything that's calculating in his mind in his eyes.

"Hai, Komitetsu-sensei?" He cordially replied, voice soft, but still smooth and deep like the rushing river his chakra felt like.

"Report to the training room and wait there for further instruction."

Itachi didn't seem surprised, nor confused by the command.

"Wakarimashta." Understood. And mechanically, he left with his messenger bag slung across his chest. As he passed me, his eyes caught sight of _my_ messenger bag. _Then_ they narrowed, just slightly, as if he were confused or surprised. He immediately recognized it as Shisui's, and then looked up at me and smiled. He waited for my polite nod in response, and then left the room. He passed a female teacher with wavy, dark hair, blue eyes and a nasty scar running across her face on his way out the door. She looked scary as she entered the room, but her warm smile made her look softer; not _pretty_ , just not as harsh. Beneath the diagonal mark, she had tanned skin and pink, full lips. Her lashes were thick and her eyes were large and doll-like. She had to be in her late twenties and I noticed she was carrying two papers in her hand; probably my test.

Her greeting toward Ushiru-sensei and Komitetsu-sensei was warm, but her eyes were cold as they fell on me. Not surprising.

"One more and we can begin." She spoke in a soft voice to them. It was so feminine it clashed with her battle-hardened appearance and icy attitude towards me.

"Ten minutes." Komitetsu-sensei murmured in a disapproving tone. He clearly wanted to get the test over-with. I can't blame the guy, I want to be out of here, too. If I could fast forward time I would, but unfortunately I'm a reincarnation, not a time traveler. Ushiru-sensei chuckled and then turned to me.

"Pick a seat. We have some time." He instructed and I frowned.

"May I read?" I asked as politely as possible.

"No." The woman quickly replied, cutting Ushiru-sensei off just as he took a break to speak.

Well, fuck you too.

I tried not to show my irritation as I took a random seat on the right side of the room, next to the window. The view was different from this window compared to the one in my classroom, and it was nice to sit there and gaze out into the courtyard beyond it. I studied every tree, bench, flower and bird as the three senseis took separate spots in the room. Komitetsu-sensei sat back in his chair at his desk, which the woman elegantly perched herself on while crossing her arms and legs. Ushiru-sensei leaned against the blackboard behind Komitetsu-sensei's shoulder. Komitetsu-sensei smirked.

"You sure you don't want the chair, old man?" He asked jokingly.

He was asking for it. Ushiru-sensei didn't take any shit from anyone. I think that's why we got along a lot of the times.

"Thanks but I'm not lazy; I'll stand." He replied, easily trashing Komitetsu-sensei's existence. The woman sighed, Komitetsu-sensei chuckled, admitting defeat to avoid annoying the woman, and the waiting began. Komitetsu-sensei busied himself with grading papers, the woman engaged in a staring contest with the wall, most definitely spacing out into her own thoughts, and Ushiru-sensei joined me in staring at the courtyard beyond the window's glass.

Why did Komitetsu-sensei tell Itachi to report to the training room? Is he going to be the one to give him further instructions? If so, why is he here, wasting time? He's probably waiting for me to finish my test before he goes. Or he's waiting for the last person to get here so he could leave. Maybe he's going to spend extra time training Itachi… But why would he do that? Shisui said it himself— all Uchiha shinobi learn the Uchiha fighting style from a young age. They get special instruction in taijutsu, ninjutsu and genjutsu; that's what separates them from the rest of the shinobi-to-be. Why in hell would Itachi need extra training in the academy style if it's inferior to the Uchiha style? Unless… they're going to practice some elemental jutsu? But Itachi is a genius. By this point he should already _know_ the katon: gokakyuu no jutsu, amongst a lot of other jutsu. He also has epic chakra control, we just established this.

He's not in that training room waiting to learn ninjutsu or taijutsu. Genjutsu isn't even a question. He's _definitely_ not there to practice genjutsu. Plus, he didn't seem surprised when he was ordered to go there. His chakra didn't fluctuate in any way upon hearing the instruction so he must have been told beforehand that he might be needed to do something after school today.

He's got to be involved in my test. There's literally no one else left in this school aside from me, the three teachers, Itachi and the flowery chakra coming this way. Like a ghost, a female with short, dark brown hair dressed in anbu gear with a mask sporting a blue butterfly suddenly materialized in the room. If I hadn't felt the near-imperceptible blip of chakra on my radar, she would have scared me. Her chakra was soft, like a kiss or the petals of a flower, but it had an edge to it, like the thorns of a rose. She was a badass, despite her small, feminine body and she carried herself that way. She held her arms crossed and nodded to the chunnin in the room. She didn't need to speak. She was too cool for that.

Why does there need to be an ANBU here, anyway? For fairness, maybe? Do they think I'm going to like, I don't know, let the kyuubi loose or something? Maybe they just need extra security. It makes sense to have someone unbiased, who works under the hokage to oversee things. This way it won't matter what Komitetsu-sensei, Ushiru-sensei _or_ the scarred lady think of me. I'll get a fair shot and no one will tamper with my paperwork.

"Alright," Komitetsu-sensei sighed and cracked his knuckles. "I'm going to go prepare for the next half of the test." He notified as he stood from his chair and tucked his papers away into a side drawer for later. He left the room with a wave to Ushiru-sensei and the two women.

When the door shut, the shit got real.

The butterfly lady, the scarred woman, and Ushiru-sensei closed in on me like hounds on a bleeding hog. Ushiru-sensei sat on the bench directly in front of and below me, his back to the front of the classroom. The scarred woman took the seat to my right, and the butterfly lady took the seat to my left.

What the fuck?

"You have fifteen minutes." The scarred woman coldly instructed as she slammed the two papers she was holding and a pencil right between my arms resting on the desk. I didn't flinch. Her bullshit was child's play. Shisui liked to surprise attack me often and I'd gotten quite used to shit flying towards my person by now. I would have given her an empty stare to unnerve her, but instead I picked up the pencil, dusted the crumbs of graphite off of the page, and took a quick look at the second page.

There were twenty questions. Ten multiple choice, five fill-in-the-blank with no word bank _of course_ and five short-answer.

The multiple choice section instructions were straightforward, as were the fill-in-the-blank questions and the short-answers had to be a paragraph minimum.

Let's do this shit.

First and foremost, I wrote my name at the top of _both_ papers…and on the back just to have my ass covered. The three people in the room didn't make a sound but I could feel their studious eyes on me.

Their overbearing attention was a test to see how well under pressure I worked. It was damn effective because it made my nerves skyrocket. I couldn't even take a deep breath to compose myself because that would be embarrassing. Still, I was familiar with Ushiru-sensei. He wasn't _friendly_ with me, but he wasn't mean either. That put me at ease. The butterfly lady didn't scare me too much because, let's be honest, she's a great role model. She's pretty _and_ strong. Who doesn't want to be that way? The only real stress-factor came from the scarred woman at my right. I didn't know her. I could only go off of her chakra, which felt… perfumy. It reminded me of the suffocating times my sister would perfume herself in my car before we went anywhere because she was always self-conscious of her BO, which she didn't have anyway. I smiled at my paper despite the pang of sadness that shot through me at the memory of my sister and began.

Question one: When a genin comes across a foreign shinobi what is the proper protocol to follow?

Answer A: Attack on sight.

Answer B: Notify the nearest jounin.

Answer C: Ask for their official documentation and passport.

Answer D: Both B and C.

D. Both.

Question two: What is the most important shinobi rule?

Answer A: Rule 39.

Answer B: Rule 64.

Answer C: Rule 72.

Answer D: All of the above.

Good thing I memorized all the rules. D. All of the above mothafucka!

Question three: In an emergency, what is a genin's duty to Konoha?

Answer A: Fight for her.

Answer B: Evacuate all civilians to the designated safe-houses.

Answer C: Assume chunin rank and follow chunin protocol.

Answer D: Lead civilians to safety outside of the village's boarders.

 _Duh_ , B. Anyone who's seen the show would know _that_. Besides, if you evacuate civilians outside the village in an emergency you're technically abandoning your village in its time of need. I feel bad for the sorry bastard who would choose that as the correct answer.

Question four: In the event a mission levels up a rank or more, what should a genin do?

Answer A: Proceed with caution.

Answer B: Send a hawk for reinforcements.

Answer C: Default to the captain.

Answer D: Abort the mission.

This one is tricky, but you're a genin snot. The only person that makes the decisions is the jounin or chunin leader. The answer is C. Default to the mission's captain.

Question five: Of the choices below, which jutsu are/is necessary for every academy student know upon genin exams?

Answer A: Substitution jutsu

Answer B: Shadow clone jutsu and shunshin jutsu.

Answer C: Clone jutsu

Answer D: None of the above.

 _C_ bitches! Episode oooonnneeee.

Question six: Of the five great nations, which have been Konoha's enemies for the longest time?

Answer A: All of the below

Answer B: Kirigakure, Kumogakure, Iwagakure.

Answer C: Sunagakure and Iwagakure.

Answer D: Sunagakure and Kumogakure.

This one is tricky. I'm gonna go with _A_ just because fuck all the other villages. Right now they're all enemies and they've all been enemies since the founding of each great nation anyway. Besides, most of the material in the history classes is propaganda-ish. To the children of the academy, Konoha is the elitest of the elite villages. The will of fire is the best and only way and all the other villages are inferior vermin… _basically_. It's not surprising material, based on the fact that Konoha is fascist just like the other hidden villages, but the fact still stands that they want upcoming shinobi to be paranoid and distrusting of all outsiders.

Question seven: In the event of an ambush on a mission, what is proper protocol?

Answer A: Assume formation twelve and prepare for a counterstrike.

Answer B: Scatter and counterstrike.

Answer C: Counterstrike as soon as physically possible.

Answer D: Outsource the completion of the mission to a designated team member and provide cover.

 _A_ all the way. The other shit just logically doesn't make any sense.

Question eight: Currently, how many smaller nations exist between Iwagakure and Sunagakure?

Answer A: Ten.

Answer B: Seven.

Answer C: Three.

Answer D: Twenty.

 _C_.

Question nine: Relatve to Kirigakure, which cardinal position is Konohagakure located in?

Answer A: North.

Answer B: South.

Answer C: East.

Answer D: West.

West.

Question ten: Which two great clans founded Konoha?

Answer A: Inuzuka and Senju.

Answer B: Sarutobi and Uchiha.

Answer C: Uchiha and Hyuuga.

Answer D: Uchiha and Senju.

 _D_. "D" for _duh_.

Question eleven: A shinobi must never show_.

Emotion.

Question twelve: In order, the four shinobi ranks are _, _, _, and _.

Genin, chunin, jounin, tokubetsu-jounin.

ANBU isn't an official rank. It's technically super secret without really being so secret.

Question thirteen: The leader of a shinobi village is called a _.

Kage.

Question fourteen: There are _ safehouses within Konohagakure.

Five.

Question fifteen: The average lifespan of a shinobi is _ years.

Thirty-seven.

Question sixteen: Explain the purpose of a personalized code within a three-man-cell.

Ugh, this is annoying.

 _A personalized code is a system of symbols, letters or words given certain arbitrary meanings used for transmitting messages requiring secrecy or brevity. Codes have a wide variety of uses within an average three-man-cell and the shinobi system as a whole. They can be used to communicate with allies to the village, or to encrypt information: the most valuable thing to a shinobi village. However, between a simple squadron consisting of a jounin in charge of three genin, codes can be used to convey strategies or intel between team members, encrypt mission scrolls or to plan attacks, retreat strategies or ambushes in silence and secrecy._

Question seventeen: Give a brief summary of the founding of Konoha.

Well, shit. How far back do they want me to go?

 _The founding of Konoha began with a long-standing feud between the Uchiha and Senju clans, the most powerful clans within the warring states era. After multiple failed attempts to reach an agreement, Senju Hashirama, and Uchiha Madara finally shook hands, ending the feud in favor of the well-being of both clans. Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara then decided that the land between their respective territories would become the land of a village where both clans could live in symbiosis. Thus, Konohagakure became a powerful and influential village, eventually acquiring and assimilating the cooperation of multiple other clans and individuals, headed by Senju Harshirama, who became the first Hokage._

Good enough.

Question eighteen: Explain the concept and purpose of hand seals in jutsu.

 _Hand seals are seals formed by a shinobi's hands, primarily their fingers. There are twelve basic hand seals taught to all shinobi, and few special seals specific to either great clans or certain jutsu. The twelve basic seals are Monkey, Dragon, Rat, Bird, Snake, Ox, Dog, Horse, Tiger, Boar, Ram, and Hare. Their purpose is to focus and mold a shinobi's chakra accordingly to execute or create an intended jutsu. Each seal affects the flow of a shinobi's chakra in a specific way, allowing it to flow in the direction or manner necessary to accomplish an intended jutsu. With enough repetition or practice, a skilled or experienced shinobi can often perform complex jutsu with less seals, reducing the necessary seals needed from as much as forty-four to just one._

Question nineteen: Define ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu, and explain the differences between each.

 _Ninjutsu is a term referring to almost any jutsu that augments a shinobi, allowing him to do things that he normally couldn't do. Ninjutsu requires the usage of chakra and knowledge of hand seals to be effective. Hand seals help mold a shinobi's chakra to perform a technique. Taking elemental natures into consideration, nature transformation—the act of transforming chakra into an element— and shape transformation—the act of changing a chakra's form, movement, and potency— can be used together or separately to execute a jutsu._

 _Genjutsu are techniques implemented in the same manner as ninjutsu. The primary difference between ninjutsu and genjutsu is that genjutsu attacks the victim's mind, rather than their body, disrupting the senses and causing the victim to perceive things that aren't real. Genjutsu is created when the user controls and manipulates the flow of chakra within his victim's cerebral system. Genjutsu affects the procencephalon structure of the brain, and thus can affect almost all species of mammals._

 _Taijutsu is any jutsu that involves the martial arts or optimizing a shinobi's natural abilities. Taijutsu is executed by directly accessing the shinobi's physical and mental energies, relying on the stamina and strength acquired through physical training. It typically does not require the usage of chakra, which differentiates it from ninjutsu or genjutsu, however, skilled shinobi can use their chakra to augment or enhance it. Taijutsu does not require the usage of hand-seals, unlike ninjutsu or genjutsu, and is far quicker to use in combat. Taijutsu is simply hand-to-hand combat. Different factions have their own style of taijutsu and some individuals can even combine ninjutsu, kenjutsu, or rarely both with taijutsu, increasing their effectiveness in battle._

Question twenty: Describe the meaning of a forehead protector in the shinobi culture.

 _The forehead protector is a cloth headband sporting a metal plate decorated with a village symbol, which is a source of pride for a shinobi. It is typically worn on the forehead and is traditionally used to protect the shinobi from archers aiming for a one-hit-kill. Though archery is less used in battle in modern times, the forehead protector remains as a rite of passage for every shinobi and is viewed in high esteem. Typically, a forehead protector is given to a shinobi upon reaching genin rank, thus it is also an item of initiation. It is a symbol of a shinobi's allegiance to and pride in his village._

Fucking _done_ , finally. I lifted my papers to check my answers, but the butterfly lady swiftly snatched the fucking things right out of my hands. I had no chance. I glared at her despite my admiration of her as she disappeared in a flurry of green leaves.

"Is there a reason why I'm not allowed to check my answers?" I asked Ushiru-sensei and the remaining woman.

"In battle, you don't get second chances." Ushiru-sensei explained. The woman humphed as she quickly stood out of her seat, mad that Ushiru-sensei would take the time to answer my question. _Bitch_.

"The second part awaits." She impatiently announced as she took her time sashaying down the staircase. She was a bitch, but she was a graceful bitch; I'll give her that. Not as graceful as the butterfly lady, but still more graceful than most. Ushiru-sensei nodded and stood up to follow the woman out of the classroom. I picked up my messenger bag and walked after them. I'll never know if I got to answer each question as perfectly as possible.

I followed the two out of the classroom, and down the hall it was located in, towards a set of large double doors, behind which I sensed Itachi and Komitetsu-sensei's chakras.

See! I _knew_ he was a part of my test!

Now the only thing is… how the hell am I going to pass this part if _Itachi_ is in it? Think about it, this is the _practical_ part of the test. You might be thinking, "oh, Yuzuha will do _just fine_. She's been sparring with Shisui, after all. What can _possibly_ go wrong?" Everything can, and is probably going to, go _very_ wrong. Shisui's been teaching me the academy style, while fighting with _the academy style_. Depending on the rules of this match, if Itachi is allowed to use whatever taijutsu he knows I might just be fucked.

…Great…

* * *

"What an interesting idea, that is…" Hiruzen took a hit of his pipe, swirled the toxic smoke in his lungs, and exhaled, completely relaxed for once. He eyed the boy, standing professionally beyond the boundary of his cluttered, poorly-organized desk. Holding his pipe, he turned to look at the crystal sphere, cradled by the plush, purple pillow beneath it atop the edge of his desk. He spied on his unofficial granddaughter as she followed two senseis into the training room of the academy.

Uchiha Shisui was certainly an enigmatic boy. Hiruzen was aware that the charismatic Uzumaki girl had befriended him, but he did not realize that their short friendship created such an adamantine bond between the two.

What Shisui was doing in his office here today was, to be blatant, _insane_. The boy did something that no ninja of _any_ rank had ever dared to do. He was a genin and though he was well beyond the skill level of his rank, he was in no position to be making the proposal he was. In a strictly professional sense, he was stepping out of line and could certainly be punished for voicing what he did.

However, Hiruzen was a kind and open man. He appreciated Shisui's gall.

The boy had asked him to place his friend in his cousin's class, citing that it would be beneficial for the heir to the Uchiha clan to befriend someone of his caliber. He was asking Hiruzen, the third hogake, the most respected and politically powerful man in Konoha to pull strings so that his mostly-isolated cousin had the possibility of making a friend.

There were many conventions his request violated.

Who was he to determine another shinobi's skill level and to further draw it to the _hokage's_ attention? He was neither a jounin nor an academy sensei to do so. If Yuzuha had scored lower and gotten into the lower tier of the elite classes, it would be _unheard of_ to simply wave the matter off and place her in the upper tier. The ramifications of placing a student in a class level beyond their capability were massive and could possibly affect the rest of the class roster and the village as a whole further down the line.

Who was he to _suggest_ a course of action _for_ the _hokage_. The only officials allowed to advise Hiruzen were well beyond Uchiha Shisui's age and rank.

Who was he to dabble within the inner politics of Konoha? The boy was wise to notice the tension between his clan and the rest of Konoha; Hiruzen didn't know how he figured it out, but the fact remained that young Shisui, somehow, zeroed in on the root of the problem, and provided not an answer, but a _possibility_ that Hiruzen had surprisingly been looking for. The boy hadn't _stated_ the possibility that Hiruzen _foresaw_ ; he merely asked the hokage to give his unreachable cousin someone equally strange to possibly befriend, however, his request opened up doors Hiruzen hadn't noticed before.

It would be _very_ wise to place an Uzumaki girl, the last of her kind in Konoha, in a classroom with the Uchiha _heir_. A friendship like that one, should it blossom like Hiruzen knew Shisui would ensure, would help the Uchiha in the future.

It would be _very_ good for an Uzumaki, directly related to the Senju, to befriend an Uchiha. His late sensei, the Shodaime Hokage, would approve. Perhaps this minor change will have positive consequences in the future. Uchiha Shisui might have just unknowingly played a very important role in a very big picture…

"I'm sure you remember, hokage-sama, but I'd like to note that it _is_ my birthday today…" Shisui noted cautiously; hopefully.

Hiruzen smirked. What a cheeky child; using his birthday to his advantage. The hokage was happy to see the sparks of light in Uchiha Shisui's eyes, however. For a shinobi gaining as much fame as he was, it was a miracle for him to still smile. Of course, there was age and maturity in his mannerisms that often bled through in his brief conversations with Hiruzen, but it was a relief to see some form of easiness in the boy's attitude.

"It is very kind of you to look out for your cousin, Shisui…" Hiruzen allowed his sentence to trail off as he took another puff of the tobacco in his pipe, ignoring the images of the Uzumaki girl and the Uchiha boy exchanging blows in the clear crystal of his ball.

"…but?" The boy looked concerned, yet calculating. His cat-like eyes sharpened just a fraction, and Hiruzen could see his mind running through multiple strategies, adjusting to the situation regardless of what his hokage was about to say. He picked up on Hiruzen's verbal cue, calculated that his request may be rejected and quickly pulled more information to the forefront of his mind, organizing it as needed to form another solid argument.

Hiruzen chuckled and Shisui relaxed, realizing that the old man had played a joke on him.

"But nothing, Uchiha Shisui. I will honor your request. Happy birthday." He acquiesced.

"Yosh! Mission accomplished!" The boy pumped his fists in exuberant joy. If he wanted to revel in his success in silence, he absolutely could have. However, Shisui was a boisterous person and he knew it. Hiruzen was proud of him for choosing to whoop and shout and be _himself_ , rather than choosing to be a _shinobi_ and just accepting the response with a stiff bow.

The old man chuckled one last time and turned back to the entertainment his telescope jutsu provided.

* * *

The rules were simple. Taijutsu only. That's it. The first one out of the ring or unable to continue loses. My heart was racing, I swear to you, and my palms were cold and sweaty. My fingertips felt like ice cubes and I bet you my pretty, peachy complexion was blanched. You know, I was hungry earlier in the hallway.

I'm not hungry now.

Warily, I stepped barefoot onto the polished wooden floor inside the white-outlined box in the rectangular room. The box was almost as wide as and not as long as the room. Light filtered into the room through the skylights and blended in with the warm, round lights hanging a short distance from the ceiling on black wires.

I'm not calm.

Itachi, directly across the room from me, took a step forward, also barefoot and lacking his school bag. His face was neutral and almost unreadable if not for the fact that his eyes were curious and scrutinizing.

I'm _definitely_ not calm.

He isn't Shisui; this isn't the forest or the clearing with _my_ tree in it, and this isn't just friendly training and sparring. This is serious.

 _Fuck._

I bit my bottom lip on accident, showing my stress and his dark eyes flicked to the action and then back up to meet my eyes.

Shit. Now he _knows_ I'm not calm.

I worried as the woman padded up to us, also barefoot. She was going to be the referee. She didn't like me, so if I made any small misstep she'd definitely deduct points, or add a mark or whatever it is she has to do to negatively grade me.

I took a deep breath, not caring if I let my stress show, and exhaled. I immediately felt relaxed. The odds are stacked against me, but how many times did Shisui stack the odds against me? We've been training with me fighting two of him, recently, so if I can handle _two_ Shisuis I'm sure I can at least last a minute in the ring with _one_ Itachi even if his fighting style was superior to mine... right?

Right. Positive thinking ftw.

I can _do_ this.

I put my arms up, determined again.

"Use whatever you know of taijutsu. _Hajime_!" The woman shouted and I stood my ground. Charging at him would do me no good. Did you guys see what happened in cannon? Sasuke made that same mistake _twice_. You _never_ charge an opponent from the front. You _never_ charge _Uchiha Itachi_ from the front _specifically_.

That's just plain stupid and I _avoid_ stupid like the plague.

Surprisingly, he didn't move either. My fucking heart was racing faster than it did during sex and there wasn't even any fucking fighting going on. Then just a few seconds later… he gave a tiny smile of approval… and shit went _down_.

He was _fast_ , let me tell you, but thankfully not _that_ fast. He definitely _blurred_ but thanks to my training with Shisui, I was able to track him. The trick? Focus on a different color. When shinobi move _that_ fast they become a blob composed of whatever color they're mostly wearing. That's why some shinobi wear multiple shades of the colors of their home environment to be even more confusing to their opponent, but if you focus on _one_ odd color, in this case the little silver button holding Itachi's grey pants together, you can track the opponent. I pivoted and caught his ultra-powerful kick with my forearm. The force of his shin made my entire _arm_ shake up to my shoulder, but I held fast.

Adrenaline and stress mixed like the hardest cocktail at the raunchiest night club and suddenly his blurry speed wasn't so blurry anymore. I could _see_ him because I was so hyper-focused on the fight.

He dropped forward onto his hands and attempted to kick my front with the back of his other leg. As soon as the pressure left my forearm I bent backwards as if I were playing limbo and just like the game, his leg swung over my face, his pant leg brushing across my skin from my chin to my hairline, disorientating some red strands of hair as it ran its course.

It was my turn now and I performed a backwards hand-spring, just barely avoiding the upwards strike with his knee that he aimed at my spine. If I had any less muscle or if I was just a little less flexible than I am, it would've been game over. I finished the successful flip, but I had no time to smile because as soon as I was upright again my eyes opened and there he was, throwing a fist at my face. I sensed him close to me beforehand, but when you're not looking... well, you just don't see the proximity. With your eyes open, watching him so calmly come within striking range of you, it's terrifying. I ducked under his jab and threw my own at his stomach; however, he had a back-up plan in the form of his palm gently _slamming_ my wrist _and_ my ass against the shiny floor. I flailed to the side beneath him on the fast-track to becoming best friends with the wooden floorboards beneath us, and he had no qualms in hammering down on my side with his outstretched fist. There wasn't a single _scrap_ of energy wasted in _any_ of his movements.

Pain seared across my ribcage as his fist connected and then all over my hip as I fell to floor with a _solid_ thump.

And that's how I discovered the elements of the Uchiha taijutsu style.

The first element was _power,_ as was evident in his kicks and punches. He hits _hard_. Shisui hits hard too, but the academy style wasn't able to break through a guard with sheer force and reach weak spots like the Uchiha style did. I never caught a rib-shot so high fighting with Shisui and I was never _thrown_ so fluidly and economically to the side like that—There was the second and probably most secret and important element to the Uchiha style: fluidity. Everything _flowed_. Itachi propelled himself and his propelled-self propelled himself even more. The inertia of his body never stopped, it only _changed_ trajectory. There was no stopping or halting or reassessing. It was all just gogo _go_. That's what made it so dangerous. It was fast and it was painful. Compared to it, the academy style was weak and choppy. A lot of energy was wasted here and there just in changing your movements from one kata to the next. It was shit compared to the Uchiha style, which a lot like muay thai mixed with tai chi.

Whatever, _now_ I can find a hole somewhere in his t—

"End!"

 _Huh_!? _End?_

"Eh?" I shouted, confused as I used the force of his hit to spring myself back into an upright position using my elbow, forearm and palm while Itachi dodged my feet wind-milling at his face.

I wasn't _unable to continue_ as the rules clearly stated. _What the fuck_?

"It's over. Less than ten seconds." The woman explained. I _glared_ at her, catching my breath, still incredibly aware of Itachi not too far in front of me. The adrenaline made me crazy and I verbally lashed out at her.

Oops.

"But I'm not _unable to continue_!" I shrieked.

"But you _are_ outside of the ring." She replied and then pointed downwards. I looked at my feet.

 _Fuck_. During our scuffle, I was so focused on just _surviving_ the fight and _winning_ it that I hadn't noticed how close itachi had pushed me to the back of the box. My heel was just a centimeter out of the box. Just a centimeter, but her damned eyes still caught it before it even _happened_.

"It's a centimeter!" I yelled as loudly as a conspiracy theorist would in a public place and threw an open-palmed hand at the floor to gesture towards my heel. What fuckery is this!?

"Yes, it's a centimeter." She frankly agreed with a nod of her head. "Please gather your things and report to the classroom." As I gaped open-mouthed at the absolute bullshit in front of me, I noticed she had pulled out a small notepad, probably from her _stupid_ chunin pack on her lower back, and was currently scribbling on it with a small pencil similar to the ones you could find at Ikea while walking nonchalantly towards the door.

 _Fuck her_.

"One more time." I demanded dangerously, clenching my fists because my world was falling apart and I was scared I'd fail.

She ignored me and continued to walk away.

"One. More. _Time_!" I growled at her retreating form.

No answer. I dug my nails into my palms and shot over to the door she was about to walk through. Ushiru-sensei, Itachi, and Komitetsu-sensei were dead silent as my tiny palm slammed _loudly_ against the wood of the door, stopping her from opening it.

"One more time." I spoke, now calmer, but just as serious. My eyes glared into her blue ones and I saw rage melt across her face. She was not up for my defiance. Her scar twisted and her lips parted to show her straight, gritted teeth. Her doll-like eyes narrowed and even her eyelashes seemed threatening.

"It would be wise of you to move out of my way." She spoke so quietly she almost _hissed_.

"No. It wasn't over." I argued confidently.

" _Move._ " She growled, losing her patience.

"I'll fight you!" My patience for her shit snapped as I shot back and then took another deep breath to re-compose myself. "If I have to, I'll fight _you_. But you're not leaving here until I get a second chance." I replied somewhat calmly with straight shoulders. I felt like I was shaking. I probably _was_ shaking. I was only _now_ coming down from the adrenaline high I had before and the stress I've been feeling was starting to get to me. She gripped her pencil so tightly I heard the little piece of wood fracture.

"Then you'll di—

"Let her fight again, Saya."

So _that's_ her name. I didn't even know her name and she was deciding my fate for me. She spun around so fast she almost set the floor on fire beneath her heel. My eyes flicked to Komitetsu-sensei. It was him who spoke up.

I thought he wasn't a Yuzuha fan?

Ushiru-sensei spoke to back him up.

"It was only a centimeter." He spoke and she turned to look at him accusingly, as if he betrayed her. "The guidebook states that at least _one_ foot has to be beyond the line. To the toes; it's very specific." He explained.

Her neck craned back to Komitetsu-sensei and he nodded.

"You still have a lot to learn about this sensei thing." He informed with a smirk and I realized he was using my situation to make fun of her and truth be told her ears turned red. She turned around, cheeks pink.

"Get back in there." She snapped a pointed finger at Itachi, who may as well have replaced himself with a stone statue; he hadn't moved, talked and probably breathed the entire time I argued. I smirked and quickly jogged back into the box. Itachi's eyes connected with mine again as Saya-sensei padded back into the box. His expression was unreadable but he was definitely feeling _something_ if his tumultuous eyes were anything to go by.

" _Hajime_!" She shouted, barely giving me any time to prepare myself.

This time I lunged at him. He merely stood there. I know I told you guys charging at him would be stupid, so I didn't. I _lunged_. I pushed my body upwards, flipped and used the inertia to slam my heel at where he _was_. He dodged my hit and my foot slammed the floor as he spun on his heel and tried to use his elbow to hit the back of my head before he could spin far enough to face me again. I sensed him, though, practically _saw_ him in my mind because I was so focused on him and his smooth chakra and quickly crunched my torso downwards, subsequently _slamming_ my palms into the floor and pushing myself up and halfway vertical, sending my heels flying backwards at his face.

He bent backwards, however and unfortunately for me I wasn't facing him when I was upright again. However, I was still focused on his chakra and ducked and spun to the side, avoiding his dropkick aimed at my spine.

I used his own damn technique against him and used the inertia of the dodge and subsequent spin to add power to my elbow, and aimed it at his neck at the same time his foot slammed against the floor. I didn't have time to feel sorry for the floor as he used the power in his kick to fold his knees, allowing him to bend backwards just enough for my elbow to miss its target. I felt the soft skin of his nose trail halfway up my arm before he caught the inside of my elbow with two fingers and _pushed_. My arm moved flung to the side faster and he struck at my vital point in my neck with his other two fingers, but I saw it coming and sent a balled fist with a bent elbow at his exposed stomach before his fingers could get too close to my neck. It was his turn to abandon his attack and pivot away from my fist. He twisted but curled his body closer to mine while pushing my elbow and arm further out with his fingers, placing his back directly on the inside of my arm. His other elbow came up to jab me right in the face, just as he disconnected his two fingers from the inside of my elbow. I ducked, avoiding his elbow, but his inertia pushed his heels into another spin and the fingers that abandoned the inside of my elbow quickly morphed into a fist aimed at the underside of my jaw as he turned around effortlessly.

Fuck it, I followed the track he put my other arm on and flew as far to the side as I could. My palm hit the floor and I began to cartwheel back into an upright position, but his stance was perfect and I wasn't expecting the _vicious_ knee that he lifted into my ribs. I let out a pained grunt as the air left my lungs. Pain _screamed_ through my wrist. It was on the floor and bending to accommodate my move, but he had _pushed_ my body's weight onto it forcefully and sprained it with the force of his attack. My hand fell limp and my body collided with the floor. I slid to the side of the room on my shorts and shirt in a fetal position, burning the skin of my thighs and knees against the polished wood. I just barely collected myself enough to put force down on my legs to stop myself from sliding out of the box. As soon as my poor skin gained enough traction, I slowed down enough and he was upon me. I rolled onto my back instinctively, realized there was no time to learn how to reinforce my body with chakra and clenched my abs as hard as I could to prepare my body to take the perfectly-coordinated axe-kick to my stomach. His heel _slammed_ into me and no amount of abdominal clenching prepared me for the result. Air was forced out of my lungs _again_ , nausea bloomed through my stomach and my bladder threatened to explode. Heat spread across my midsection and bled into my intestines and everything else that had the misfortune of being in the path of Itachi's attack.

"End!"

Yes, _end_ , please.

The pain was _horrible._ I rolled to my side and placed my arms over my stomach instinctively, my limp hand and wrist absolutely useless. I moaned.

 _Fuuuuuuck_.

Stomach acid shot up through my esophagus but I clenched my teeth and curled my lips. I was _not_ going to throw u—

My mouth opened and I emptied my stomach out onto the floor. Thankfully, the organ was mostly empty, so only this yellow goo flew out with a few remaining rice grains floating in the fluid. Drool, spit and goo leaked out of the side of my mouth and snot ran out of my nose as I pressed my knees together. Thankfully, I didn't pee myself as I coughed and gasped for more air.

Pain echoed across my stomach and for a moment I felt like I had my period before I realized that his kick had rattled my intestines more than I imagined. I moaned through tight, dirty lips and flinched as another wave of pain hit me and threatened to make me empty everything else out onto the floor, too. I flinched a little too hard and my cheek smeared into my vomit, which then soaked into my hair.

I was embarrassed. One of my _favorite_ characters, just _mercilessly_ made me vomit in front of him. Tears welled in my eyes, but they weren't tears of shame. They were tears of pure _pain_. They were the kind of tears you get while popping a pimple right underneath your nose; the kind you can't help.

The academy style would _never_ achieve the results the Uchiha style did. _Never_. No wonder people ran the other way when they saw the Uchiha in battle. Fuck that shit, I wouldn't want to feel like this either. Just one kick like this could make _anyone_ throw in the white towel. Shit, if I were me in my other life this would be the last day I raised a fist to anyone. Period. Unfortunately I don't have the option of backing out here. I have a mission to complete.

"Gomenasai." His voice delicately slid through the air and reached my kind-of ringing ears. It took me a minute to get the air back into my lungs. I didn't realize I was having trouble breathing.

"'S~alright." I slurred, flinging spit-strings around from the air leaving my mouth. Fucking _ew_.

I finally got some feeling back into my hand and the waves of pain were beginning to dull as everyone was watching my suffering. I placed my palm against the wooden floor and heaved myself up with a grunt and less of a struggle than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, though; it was still a struggle. Every brain cell was telling me that I was dying and that there was something horribly wrong. As I got up on all fours, hair hanging in front of my face, I noticed the pain lessening a little bit more as the seconds ticked by. Kurama was obviously healing me.

I gathered spit into my mouth and spat out the remainder of the acidy _shit_ in my mouth. If my spine had taken that hit Itachi would've broken my back. Thank _God_ I dodged _that_ bullet. A dark blue cloth was trust towards my face through my curtain of hair and I rolled back onto my heels. Looking up, I saw that it was Itachi that was holding out the cloth. He was bent over, avoiding the vomit and the three senseis were whispering in the corner, far from our side of the room.

Itachi _looked_ calm and collected, but I saw the shock and curiosity in his eyes. He was surprised. At what, I didn't know. Isn't kicking ass something he does on a daily basis? I reached out and took the cloth from his outstretched hand and he straightened from his position.

"Thanks." I spoke as I quickly wiped spit and vomit off of my face and out of the strands of the one side of my hair. I was finally able to take a full breath and let my shoulders sag as I heard the senseis walk over to me. Ushiru-sensei stopped next to me and offered his hand. Gratefully, I took it and he helped pull me up. I winced at the remaining pain and when I stood, I had to be slightly hunched over. My stomach _still_ didn't feel good and waves of aches still washed over me at fixed intervals. It's a damn good thing my adrenaline is still kicking. This would hurt a lot more without it.

"You're one hell of a kid, Uzumaki Yuzuha. Do you need a medic?"

"Maybe." I grumbled. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Itachi dented my fucking liver and kidneys. I _still_ have to pee and I feel like I have diarrhea that I'm just _barely_ holding back. Ushiru-sensei chuckled.

"Take her to the medical room, Uchiha."

Great, little six-year-old _Itachi_ is my personal escort to the nurse's office… after _he_ kicked my ass. Embarrassing. I'd rather hobble over there by myself. Itachi, however, took off with a small nod and I was left to trail behind him. I was feeling better and better as we left the training room and quietly made our way down multiple hallways. By the time we reached the medical room, I was decently okay.

"I'm gonna go home." I spoke. It would suck to leave without the messenger bag I left in the training room but I could get that tomorrow. "Thanks for walking me here." We were standing in front of the door, facing each other. He tilted his head to the side, intrigued. I don't blame him for being surprised; I'm probably the _only_ kid who would refuse help after that kind of brutality.

"It is academy protocol to get that injury checked out." He informed, reminding me just a wee bit of young Kakashi and his "always follow the rules" BS. I grinned back at him.

"I'm aware. I'm different, though, so I'll be alright." I explained but he wasn't having any of my bullshit as he quickly reached over and knocked, _loudly,_ on the wooden door to the medical room.

Mother _fucker_.

The school medic pulled open the door, and _gasped_ as she smelled the vomit in the air.

"Oh my goodness, a stomach flu after school hours?!"

"Not a stomach flu, just a mean axe-kick." I corrected, finally looking up at her, taking in her short, blond hair, green eyes, navy skirt and white blouse. "I'm alright."

When she realized who she was talking to, all forms of gentle worry disappeared from her face, replaced with icy hardness.

"I bet you are." She replied coldly. "Demon children typically heal fast… don't they…" She spoke darkly.

I almost rolled my eyes as I turned and kept walking. She's a lost cause.

"I believe you're breaking rules, Nakao-sensei." I heard Itachi's voice, but I ignored his conversation with the medic and kept walking. I need a fucking bathroom.

"You would do well to avoid her too, Itachi-kun. There's evil associated with her. Are you okay, though, dear?" She chastised and worried at the same time. Before I could take my third step away from the situation, Itachi grasped my hand and though he was my age— a six-year-old brat— his grip was like a _vice_. I winced because that was the wrist I sprained, like two minutes ago, and sprung back towards him against my will. The action caused lightning bolts of pain to shoot up through my abdomen. The nausea from before came back and I started to sweat under the panic of throwing up _again_.

"I'm well, but my _classmate_ is not." He stressed. How come he's already calling me his _classmate_? How would he know if I passed or not?

I turned around, giving up the struggle to leave. Itachi took it as a sign of my acquiescense, and his hand gently slid off of my wrist in response. He stared down the frowning medic. It was like they were having some secret chi battle that didn't involve me. I tuned into their chakras out of the need to distract myself from the tension I felt. Itachi's smooth, cool and refreshing chakra remained calm. It rushed around his system like an infinite stream without a care in the world. He _knew_ he was right. The medic, however, was conflicted. She did _not_ want to touch me…or even look at me, for that matter. Her sugary chakra swished back and forth like caramel in a pan as she debated on what to do. Finally, she sighed and the staring contest was over. Itachi won; her chakra felt…begrudging.

"Come in." She spoke tightly. She spun around and walked through the door. I looked to Itachi, but he seemed determined for me to go in first. Slick kid; he wouldn't have me running away. I frowned, but walked into the room after the nurse.

The room was small. It had two, pristine white beds separated by a pure white curtain that had that track-thingy on the ceiling in hospitals that allowed the curtain to completely surround the bed. There was a blood pressure machine and a little rolly-chair in one corner and a blue countertop with a steel sink and cabinet that looked like it belonged in a hospital in the other. Against the left wall, across from the beds, stood a large, oak desk with a lamp, papers, and some files situated neatly on its surface. There were no windows cut into the bland, grey walls that matched the bland, grey floor and the lighting was fluorescent and cool, giving the room an eerie laboratory-like feel.

"Sit." She commanded and motioned towards the bed as she sat on the blue cushion of the rolly-chair, and rolled across the floor and over to the bed once I was situated. Itachi decided to position himself against a wall next to the door he previously clicked shut. The medic inhaled, exhaled…inhaled…and exhaled _again_ , and her hands started to glow green. Her eyes glazed over and I felt…mildly violated as her chakra started to pulse inside my body. I squirmed a little; it felt like her too-sweet chakra was forcing my blood sugar up too high, even though all she was doing was scanning me. I made sure to pay close attention to where her chakra was going and exactly _why_ just in case. I know there's probably some rule out there that says you can't hurt me specifically out of vengeance by this point, but medical ninjutsu is dangerous. Think about it, right now, her chakra is running around my pathways and system like fucking Khloe Kardashian in a name-brand mall. If she suddenly wanted that chakra to _hurt_ me, she very well could and internal injuries are always harder to heal than external ones.

Once her syrupy chakra saturated my body from head to toe, it all retreated into a ball in the center of my stomach and stayed there. Once it was in the center, she began to pump more in. Little by little, I felt her chakra changing things inside my body. About two minutes into the session I started to feel better. I felt her chakra correcting things on a really small scale within my body. It separated, hovered, and danced over things here and there to fix the damage that had been done. The nausea went away eventually and another two minutes in I was fixed. The woman inhaled and exhaled and slowly sucked her chakra out of my body. It balled up into her hands and then it was gone. She blinked and her eyes refocused, as if she had just snapped out of a daydream.

"It's done." She replied and then pushed herself away from me as if she had been burned.

"Arigato." I replied politely despite her attitude.

"Hmph."

She got up, pushed her rolly-chair back into the corner next to the blood pressure machine and sashayed over to her desk. She ripped open a drawer as I hopped off of the bed and made my way over to Itachi.

"Arigato Nakao-sensei." Itachi politely spoke. She turned and gave him a tense smile.

"Have a good day, ne, Itachi-kun?" She replied, and her words were honest. Itachi nodded and I stepped out of the room. Once we were both out in the hall, he shut the door behind us. I smiled at him.

"Thanks for that. I would've healed on my own, but she made it happen faster." I explained. His lips quirked up just a little bit and he nodded. Thankfully, I sensed Ushiru-sensei walking the halls with a purpose in his step. It would only be a few more minutes before he came by. I didn't like to sit in awkward silences for too long.

"You're adaptive." He suddenly spoke, as if he read my mind.

Damn fuckin straight I am. I smirked at him.

"Thanks." I replied and he looked pleasantly surprised. Hah, what did he expect me to do? Blush and deny the obvious truth? That shit is for angsty teenagers and psychotic girlfriends; no thanks. "Your taijutsu style is superior to the academy style. I couldn't hit you." I complemented back.

"You would have." He quietly replied.

"Yeah, if it weren't for the last couple of moves or so." I shrugged.

"Mn." He nodded, agreeing. "It was nice meeting you, Uzumaki Yuzuha." Maybe he sensed Ushiru-sensei's proximity to us too?

I grinned and stuck out my hand. He looked at it curiously but took it anyway. I didn't try to assert anything through my grip. I just wanted friendship.

"It was nice meeting you too, Itachi-san." I replied as we shook and then let go.

"Ja-ne." He put his hand up, and began to walk away.

"Ja-ne!" I called back just as Ushiru-sensei turned the corner and appeared in the hallway with a proud smirk on his aged face. I wasn't sure if I passed or not; you can _never_ be sure, but I had a feeling I did. Giddiness swelled up inside of me as I grinned up at him and crossed my arms as he handed my messenger bag to me.

"I passed." I stated confidently, slinging the bag across my chest as he came to a stop in front of me.

"You did." He replied, affirming my hypothesis. He looked happy for me too.

" _Awesome-ttebane_!" I shouted in joy as I pumped my fist excitedly.

Fuck _yes_ I passed! Danzo, you life-ruining, dick-munching, leeching mother _fucker_ …

…You're going _down_!

* * *

Thank you all again for the _awesome_ reviews! They're all much appreciated! Again, I'm so sorry for the wait! I hope you guys enjoyed Itachi's first appearance!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: Narto ®™ Belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. This work is purely fan made and I do not make any money writing this.


	6. It's too soon!

-X-

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|6|

After I met with the other senseis back in the classroom to retrieve my stuff, I received my new class number and traded in my text books for a newer, more advanced set. Once I went through all of the goodbyes and thank yous, I raced to my apartment to shower.

Normally, I don't give a _shit_ about what anyone thinks of me, but there's no way I'm going to tell Shisui I passed my test while covered in vomit no thanks to his cousin; he'd never let me live it down.

Thus, freshly cleaned and dressed in a pair of purple shorts and white t-shirt, I sensed for his chakra throughout the village. As expected, he was in the woods by our—I mean _my—_ tree— I was there before him, so _yes_ it's my tree, no matter how often Shisui accompanies me there.

Shisui beamed when I told him the good news. He was really happy for me and really proud of himself. Of course, he gloated and exaggerated that he's the best sensei in the world and blah blah blah, but a few witty remarks brought him back down to earth; I doubt he was serious, anyway. Everything was going well and we played a few games of shogi… until he asked me to go to dinner with him and his family for his birthday.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he meant his _remaining_ family… aka the _main_ family… aka Itachi and co.

It's too early to meet them right now. If I do that they most _definitely_ have an opportunity to shun me. They don't know me that well….yet _._ I'm not intertwined in their lives… _yet_. It's easy to give a stranger, that isn't close to their kid anyway, the axe.

Also, if Fugaku doesn't like me, which he probably won't, _especially_ since I haven't made a name for myself in the academy just yet, Mikoto would be more likely to agree with him too. It's just how human psychology works. I don't _want_ to be realistic about it, but there's a very good chance that things might not work out this early, so I'd rather not jump into things just yet.

Bonds take time to form and become solid. No matter what we learned in canon, bonds don't just become unbreakable when you make a friend… unless you're Shisui or Naruto. They're the exceptions to the rule. Well, _hopefully_ Naruto will become an exception to the rule. With my meddling I probably ruined the story, so who knows how he's going to turn out now? I'm going to do my best to help him become the spirited kid he was in canon but it's not like I can make any promises.

Anyway, bonds take time to grow, like the roots of a plant. The longer that plant is in that soil, the stronger its roots become…the stronger its bond to the earth becomes.

That's what needs to happen with me and the main family. Rushing head-first into something that requires so much careful planning isn't a good idea. The last thing I want to do is ruin everything even more than I already did. I messed up canon so I might as well make it worth it, right?

Right.

Anyway, Shisui was disappointed in my answer, but he accepted my excuse— that I still wasn't feeling too hot from that mean axe kick— and left around seven. That's when I started to train by myself.

I had two clones fight each other while I tried to do _something_ with my chakra. I went through all the seals I knew and studied how each one of them made my chakra change and flow. I practiced a little bit with making as many clones as I could, and then went to see Hiru-jiji and Naruto. To my surprise, Hiru-jiji got us onigiri to celebrate my academy promotion and taught me how to operate and draw storage seals.

It was the best gift he could have gotten me because I never had to lug my books or my one kunai around again.

The first two weeks in the elite class of the academy weren't difficult, but they were engaging. The math was a little harder, though it was nothing I couldn't handle. The questions on tests and theories on strategy were more elaborate and the Konoha propaganda was a little bit more pronounced, at least to me.

The sparring matches were much more challenging and each time I sparred with someone I got better and better. I was an ass-kicker to begin with, thanks to Shisui, but sparring with a variety of people who each utilized their knowledge and skills differently was educational as well as invigorating. I can truthfully say that I had fun; way more fun than I had in my last life; _God_ that was boring. Yeah, I miss my loved ones, but I don't think I'll ever miss the regimented lifestyle. It was just so dull. I'm probably the only aware reincarnation that prefers this life over the last one.

The sensei was a woman named Seia. She had boy-short blonde hair with longer bangs and warm, brown eyes. She noticed that I liked sparring with Itachi the most, and for shits and giggles she sometimes paired me up with him twice a week just to see us go at it since he seemed to like to spar with me too.

Now, after fighting both of them, I can say that Shisui and Itachi are _very_ different people… and by that I mean that Itachi is much more hesitant in his movements and Shisui is much more deliberate. Where Itachi is fast, Shisui could compete with the speed of light. Itachi hits hard, but Shisui's fist feels like Thor's hammer when it connects. Yes, Itachi is cunning in a fight, but Shisui has guerilla warfare down to a science; you could be watching his every move, but then painfully realize seconds later that you're not.

Don't get me wrong, they're both skilled and equally dangerous, but Shisui's exceptional. I think it's because he has three more years of experience and has been out on the field. Even if he's only been going on missions for a short time, that's still experience that counts, especially since right now there's a conflict or some shit with Kiri, according to the episodes that revealed what happened between Shisui and Itachi.

Also, Itachi didn't _want_ to be doing what he was doing. In fact, he _hated_ fighting, which lines up with what we know in cannon. He hates anything and everything that has to do with shinobi life. It takes the edge off of his movements. He's graceful, yes, and every bit the sneaky weasel of his namesake, but he's not violent, I don't know how else to explain it. Every punch from him feels like an apology more than an attack.

From what I've observed, he's the happiest when we're studying math and literature; I can tell by the way his chakra fluctuates during lessons. I try not to stalk his energy, but come on, I can't help it. He's a key player in this game and every thought he has or every emotion he feels is information that is _extremely_ important.

That's the number one key to manipulation, of course… thought and emotion. If you know your target's thoughts and feelings… it is _so_ easy to make them _think_ what you want them to think and thus do what you want them to do.

Look at what Danzo did in cannon. He manipulated Itachi's love for Sasuke. It's fucked up, but he did it. He literally made it make sense to kill an entire clanof people he loved, to some extent, by giving him some bullshit about Sasuke being in danger otherwise. He's a fucking manipulator and hate me as much as you want, it takes a manipulator to bring down a manipulator.

God, I hate that dick.

Anyway, yeah, Shisui and Itachi? Very different people. If I had to judge, I would say that Shisui's stronger than Itachi.

I mean, I'm not being arrogant or anything by saying that, either. I don't claim to be stronger than either of them, though, get beat up by Shisui a couple of times and trust me, you'll learn not to get your ass kicked…ever.

Speaking of which, after that kind of ass-kickage everyone else's punches and kicks are feel like paper balls hitting a war tank— insignificant. This one girl decked me across the face one day because I stayed up a little late reading up on fuuinjutsu and simply wasn't up to moving quickly that morning. There was pain but I didn't even get dizzy. 'Shoulda seen the look on her face, man. She wasn't expecting me to keep moving after that one. I took advantage of her surprise and put her right on her ass.

The downside of that was that Shisui made fun of my bruise later that day, the asshole. He was convinced I lost the match.

Anyway, I didn't really talk much with Itachi. Most of our conversations were silent. Not only was he socially awkward, I was socially anxious deep down too and I didn't want to scare him off or get a blank stare in response while trying to start a conversation with him. A kid like that is kind of hard to approach, y'know.

I knew he preferred to observe others, rather than be engaged by them, so I smiled at him here and there, nodded in greeting, and quietly passed him a pencil or worksheet when necessary. Most of our interactions happened in the training room, where we had sparring sessions thanks to Seia-sensei. We spoke the most during those without really speaking. You really do convey a lot of messages when you fight with someone. That's why guys get along after they punch each other.

Eventually, I started to see that he was amused while we sparred. I was constantly developing a sort-of Uchiha style taijutsu technique, since I was trying to keep up with him. It was my own little Yuzuha-style. Each time I lost, or brought the match to a draw, I found myself learning more and more. Steadily, we got to the point where we actually had to start getting serious. Itachi actually had to push himself and so did I.

Oh, by the way, I _never_ let him catch me with that axe kick again. Once was enough for me and it would be enough for you too, really. Laugh all you want, I'm proud I never vomited all over myself again.

Anyway, around December, I was training at my tree in a pair of black tights, blue shorts and a yellow sweatshirt because Konoha doesn't have Eskimo clothes. I pushed myself to move faster and faster just because I _hate_ the cold. I have always hated the cold. You think hell is hot and filled with fire?

You're fucking wrong.

Hell is cold; colder than the grave. And thus, _fuck_ winter because it too is colder than the grave. The only upside of winter in this world is that the snow is beautiful. It really is pretty to look at. Back home, in Jersey, the snow turned black minutes after falling. That's pollution for ya. Here, the snow only turned yellow here and there; peeing dogs and whatnot.

Anyway, Shisui materialized in front of me, mid-kick and didn't flinch when my sandaled foot ruffled his slightly-grown-out hair; he didn't even blink, no joke. He'd been sent away on missions recently and every time I saw him—about once every week— he looked more and more tired and just…overgrown. Unkempt. Whatever missions he was going on were taking a toll on his little nine-year-old body. He was starting to get little tear troughs at the corners of his puffy eyes.

I frowned at him.

"You looked exhausted again." I chastised, and as if echoing my irritation, a thick pile of snow slid off of one of the lower branches of my Christmas tree and fell onto the snow-covered ground beneath it with an angry thump. The branch hissed afterwards as if it were happy to finally be free of the snow's weight. Shisui's eyes caught the snow falling, but quickly flicked back to me. He smiled almost nervously.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved my concern off, "Anyway, come eat with me today." He commanded, only because he knew by now that if he asked nicely I'd just say "no".

I hate how he insists on paying for me; it makes me feel like my independence is being compromised. Back when I was alive, or alive in _that_ life, I worked full time, and I went to school full time. Work was 40 hours a week and at school I attended five classes… _and_ still maintained a minimum gpa of 3.8.

The point of that little background information is that I was as busy as hell, but I still paid for everything by myself. Everything.

In other words, Uzumaki Yuzuha does _not_ freeload… _ever_. Konoha's DCA service is another thing. When I become a genin, hopefully in two years' time, I won't have to rely on the DCA so much. I'll only have to smoodge money for whatever Naruto needs while I help raise him.

"Ummm… _no_." I replied. "You know I hate it when you pay for things."

"Friends support friends. And you need to build muscle; you're a twig." He shoved me and winked at the endearing insult. I could have dodged his shove but I let him have his fun as I wobbled, straightened and then rolled my eyes. He had a point, I was a little thin and small, but I'm a six year old _female_ ; that's normal.

"Yeah, well friends don't mooch off of friends, either." I countered. I wasn't going to give up _that_ easily. Shisui just flashed his trademark grin.

"You're not mooching, you're receiving a gift."

I narrowed my eyes at him as his grin started to turn into a smirk. Damn Uchiha…he had me there.

" _Still_ … do you _have_ to make me feel bad by doing that?"

"Yes. Especially today. Are you going to come willingly or do I have to kidnap you?" Now _that's_ suspicious..." _Especially today",_ huh? What does he have up his sleeve?

His mischievous grin only confirmed that he was definitely planning something.

"Why ' _especially today'_?"

"Because today is a special day." He countered with a cat-like grin.

"Nice play on words." I crossed my arms. "I'm not buying it."

"Just _come_ will you? Do you have to be so stubborn?" He dropped the smugness and began to _whine_. Playtime was over.

"No, I just want to be." I smirked and he gave me an unamused glare as he stuck his hand out, expecting me to take it.

"Now just for that, you have three seconds to agree before I kidnap you."

"I can call the authorities on you, you kno—

" _One—!"_

"Shisu—

" _Two—!"_

"Alright al _right_!"

His smile was satisfied as he crossed his arms.

"Do you want to run, walk, ride on my back or have me carry you?" He asked.

"…Walk?" I asked.

"Too bad, let's go." And before I knew it his chakra shot to his feet and legs, I was screaming and we were moving _really_ fast. I clutched onto his collar and held on as I watched the world around me zip past. I realized when we stopped abruptly in the center of Konoha's _busy_ market that he had used his shunshin jutsu.

I caught the glares of several surprised civilians who were _totally_ unprepared for an Uchiha-Uzumaki bomb just dropping in on them, right before Shisui chuckled and took off again. We stopped at a busy main street that led up to the Uchiha complex and with one more shunshin we arrived just outside of the gates, somewhere on a side road completely out of the way of all the traveling merchants, foreigners and civilians. Out of breath, Shisui set me down and I crossed my arms as I turned to him.

"Did you _have_ to stop smack in the middle of the market?" I asked. "That wasn't smart."

"Why, because you're a ji—

I smacked my hand over his mouth as gently but as purposefully as I could.

"Sh _hhhhh_!" I hissed. "But _yes_ because of _that_." I paused for a second to take my hand off of his mouth and reveal the frown beneath it. "That wasn't smart, Shisui. I'm not stupid, I _know_ how people feel."

Shisui looked surprised. I guess he wasn't expecting me to pick up on the fact that anyone with half a brain knew it was politically dangerous for an Uchiha to hang around with the kyuubi no jinchuriki let alone parade the bond around the village. There was tension starting to build between the Uchiha and the rest of the people over the last month and a half or so. Rumors were starting to spread about the culprit behind the kyuubi attack and some people were starting to avoid the Uchiha in public places like parks and stuff.

It's hard to describe, but hear me out. Recently, I've been playing chess games whenever I can at the park in the compound; it's where Shisui and I usually hang out, if we're not at my tree. I earned somewhat of a reputation when some kids my age challenged me to chess and then spread the word that I was unbeatable when they lost, because, y'know, I'm a badass. It wasn't long before Sanno dropped by to play a game with me, followed by others of the police force. I got to play with them almost daily between training and seeing Hiruzen.

Recently, though, I could _feel_ the resentment and stress just _beginning_ to build in them. It was like watching bread rise… _evil_ bread filled with "grrr".

"I don't _care_ about other peoples' opinions, Yuzu. The villagers can believe what they want. If they have a problem with you being my friend then I'll talk to them." He threw his fist into his palm and smirked.

Wait, what? He wasn't thinking _politically_ ; he just assumed I was talking about how the villagers feel towards me, specifically.

I shook my head. I can't believe I thought he was already getting himself involved in this mess. Of _course_ it's too early right now. It's too bad he's going to get dragged into it sooner or later.

"Sure, let's just go eat. Where do you want to go?" I asked, giving up. There was no point in arguing; he has his stubborn moments too and in those instances he's worse than I am by _far._

"Great! Well, now that you're here, we're meeting someone special at the barbeque house!" He grinned.

".. _Who_?" I asked, though I had a feeling who it was. He'd been trying to get me to formallymeet and hang out with Itachi, and as he motioned for me to follow him— a giddy grin on his face— I knew that's _exactly_ who we were meeting at the barbeque house. I wasn't upset this time; it was about time I hung out with him. I could tell that Shisui was concerned about Itachi's social well-being.

I'm not surprised he's so invested in it, considering the kid is an up-and-coming leader and doesn't have any connections or bonds outside his own clan. Honestly, not to show favoritism or anything, but out of the two of them, Shisui's more charismatic… if you wanted to bring diplomacy and political relations into it, Shisui was the ideal candidate. If Itachi becomes clan head, it would be smart of him to appoint Shisui as his official diplomat or something…

That's _if_ he ever becomes clan head… _if_ he never kills the clan he's supposed to become head of…

I have my work cut out for me.

When we entered the barbeque house, Itachi was at a small booth to the immediate right, cuddled under a table with a blanket hanging from it like a skirt. Politely, he smiled and waved at Shisui and I.

"Oii! 'Tachi!" Shisui grinned and darted past surprised patrons and servers. I followed after him, ignoring the stares with confidence; I was used to Shisui's flashiness at this point and honestly, I was an attention-grabber myself when I was alive, so I learned to be proud of it. Besides, when your shoulders are straight, noone fucks with you because instantlyyou're so much cooler than they are. Shisui gets by like that. I got by like that. It's better than letting people bring you down about your volume. The only time quiet mattered was when secrecy was imperative. Every other time? Suck it; I do what I want.

Shisui had already placed himself across from Itachi under the skirted table and I bowed respectfully towards the future leader before taking my place to his right, and Shisui's left at the square table. Politely, Itachi nodded towards me.

Everything about the kid was just so damn _polite_. And it's not like he was fake about it, either. He genuinely had respect for the people he interacted with. He really wasn't meant to be a killer. Every time I interacted with him, it reinforced my need to do the best I could for him and everyone else I had to help here.

Itachi is too kind to be a shinobi. War, death and violence just isn't for him.

Anyway, he was dressed almost identicallyto Shisui. They both wore Uchiha-sweaters; the only difference being color. Shisui's was navy with his brown sword-chest-strap-thingy attached to it, and Itachi's was plain and black.

His cheeks were slightly red because the restaurant had the heat turned up, plus it was a barbeque house… a busybarbeque house; the heat from the grills and chattering people and staff would make anyone flush and sweat. I didn't care though. I'll happily sweat. Fuck winter, seriously. I enjoyed the sensation of my skin thawing out as Shisui, the social butterfly of our trio, started to ramble.

"So, I almost fell off of a tree branch today while on my way back from the mission. There was so much ice _everywhere_." He explained with an enthusiastic wave of his hand.

"Is the tree alright?" Itachi asked, in a dry tone. It was the first time I really heard him speak a sentence of conversation and of all the things that could've come out of his mouth, it was a _joke_ … a really dry joke. I snorted as Shisui's face contorted into shock and betrayal. His cheeks pinked, but he recovered by putting on a fake-crying expression.

"You don't _love_ me! Are you still mad about the training session I missed!? I already apologized!" He wailed and thankfully, there was enough chatter and banter from the other customers around us to cover his obnoxious tone.

I giggled and Itachi shot him a small smirk.

"Mildly." He replied in a serious tone, but I could tell in his eyes that that too was a joke.

Naruto Fact# 59 Uchiha Itachi has a dry sense of humor.

It was incredible to experience it IRL. Like, I can't even explain it. Yes, it's nice to watch your favorite characters interact with each other on TV or read it in the manga, but you're still looking through a window at them; detached. I was actually _here,_ interacting with them.

Let me tell you, if this is a dream, I hope it never ends. I can see the details of their young faces, their hair, the threads in their clothes, the blush on both of their cheeks, the little, tiny, _thin_ lines on their lips, the shine and almost invisible pupils in their ebony eyes etc. They were both so very _real_ , down to the last, wild curl on Shisui's head. Incredible.

"Alright, _fine_ drama-queen. I have a proposition, then." And just like that, Shisui's countenance changed again, vividly representing mischief and eagerness.

 _He's going to die if I don't do something about the Danzo._

A chill ran through my body at the memory of older Shisui dying with a smile, blood dripping down his cheeks like tears. They'll all die if I don't do something about it.

"And what is that?" Itachi asked, brow quirked.

"How about you, Yuzu and I train together sometime soon to make up for it?" He asked with a grin and shiny eyes. "I think we'll learn a lot from each other." He finished factually.

I frowned and decided to play "devil's advocate" for a second, just to be believable.

"But I've trained with you both, technically. Itachi and I spar all the time at school."

A mischievous smirk spread across his face, but he didn't have to speak his thoughts. Itachi calmly clarified everything.

"I see. You mean to say that it would be beneficial for all three of us to have a two-on-one fight."

Bingo. Score one for Itachi. I shrugged.

"Sure, if you guys wanna make time for that."

Shisui smiled from ear to ear, his eyes crinkling.

" _Great!_ You're both workaholics so we can hang out and make the most of it at the same time." He jibed.

" _Hey_ ," I growled, "we can't all be naturally effortless, Mr. I-beat-everyone." I stuck my tongue out and Itachi chuckled.

"You're not one to talk, Yuzuha-san." He remarked and I turned to him.

"Listen, I bust my butt, okay? If I'm not at school, I'm at my tree, training, and that's just to keep up with Shisui; not even to take him down." Speaking of Shisui, I snapped my head towards him and glared, earning a look of surprise and an immediate sign of surrender: raised hands and a please-don't-kill-me expression. " _Speaking of which_ , sometimes I suspect that you're not even putting your 'all' into it!" Then, before he could defend himself, I snapped my head back to Itachi with the same glare. "And I _told you_ to just call me Yuzuha. You're my friend, so drop the '-san' will you?"

Itachi's eyes widened a little, but he smiled warmly.

"Sure." He easily replied.

"Yuzu, you're _cruel_ , of _course_ I put my 'everything' into our spars!" Shisui sniffed, watery-wet eyes comically begging me to believe him. I looked at his face and laughed.

"Yeah, sure, sure. You can prove that in the next spar." I turned to Itachi. "I don't expect you to pull any punches either. I'll get mad if you handicap yourselves because I'm a girl." I warned.

"You know I don't." He countered with a slight pout, and he was right. During all of our academy spars he really _did_ try. It became entertaining for the other kids to watch us. We seemed to progress at the same rate and I think that was because we both had instruction from Shisui on the side.

I smiled and then an idea hit me.

"Hey, we should have a chess tournament!" I grinned.

"Ugh no _way_. I'm tired of trying to win _that_ fight. Ten out of ten times you win. I'm over it." Shisui groaned.

"I'll play with you, if you'd like." Itachi offered.

"Sure! I'll have fun demolishing you." I grinned wickedly.

He smirked.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Yuzuha." He replied, testing out my name without the '-san' at the end.

"You're on, Itachi. Just set a time and date—ttebane!" I boldly challenged.

"Very well, then; tomorrow after school we'll have a match. Shisui doesn't have a mission, either so we can all spar as well." He offered, condensing all of our plans into one afternoon. It's no surprise he became anbu at that young of an age. He's really organized and efficient. He really _does_ seem like an adult in a kid's body, which is creepy as hell because it's like his soul is afflicted with the same thing mine is, except there's no indication that he remembers anything from a former life in canon. It's incredible how smart _and_ mature he is; Mikoto must be so proud. God if onlyI had been like that; my mother would have shat gold and sang rainbows.

Naruto fact #922: Itachi was said to have the reasoning skills of a hokage at age seven.

"Ooh, this sounds like a fight; can I bring snacks?" Shisui grinned. I laughed and then, with perfect timing, the waitress showed up with three hot cups of sakura-petal tea and asked us how much meat, what kind of meat, and which sides we wanted to eat. Shisui over-fucking-ordered, so I just kept my mouth shut. She asked if I was sure I didn't want anything, when I said yes, Itachi decided to order a few more sides to make up for my barren request.

Damned Uchihas. They were siding against me. "Oh, Yuzuha doesn't want to eat? Well then, we'll buy more stuff and then force it down her throat." _Great_ idea. In fact, it was clearly Shisui's idea; Itachi only implemented it. I'm not blind, I saw them make eye contact. Those two have telepathic abilities. They really are close. They're close enough to come up with a strategy on the fly with just a look. Impressive.

Once the waitress left, they pounced on me like wolves on a wounded deer.

"Are you not hungry?" Itachi asked, total concern in his tone.

"Tell me that you're not being a girl and starving yourself. For someone who doesn't want to be treated like a girl, you're really behaving like one." Shisui griped.

I shot him a glare.

" _Hey_! What's with the accusation? _You_ over-ordered, as usual, so I figured I'd mooch for once and bum some of your food, like you've been encouraging me to do! What the _hell-ttebane_?" I explained myself and his face blanked.

"Oh." Then a slow grin spread across his face. "It's about _time_ you decided to mooch."

I blushed, because honestly, I _hate_ mooching. It's unsatisfying. It feels better to work for your food and belongings than to just receive stuff; it makes me feel independent and strong; like I don't need anyone, which is what I like.

"And by the way I'd never starve myself. You knowI have goals to accomplish." I reminded. "I need food to accomplish those goals."

"What are your goals?" Itachi asked curiously.

I grinned.

"I want to be strong enough to protect my little brother and the village. Failure is _not_ an option." I stressed and he seemed surprised before he smiled warmly.

"That's a wonderful goal." He complemented.

"Heh, I know, I'm awesome right?" I joked.

"Yeah, only when you're _not_ losing to me." Shisui decided to joke, then I turned to him with a smirk.

"Don't forget that I promised I'd beat you someday. Just you wait, Uchiha Shisui… the day will come. Besides you don't knock me down so much anymore. I'm getting better—ttebane!" I smirked in satisfaction. Shisui laughed and Itachi decided to inquire about how our training sessions actually go.

From there conversation was smooth and actually _fun_ until we finished eating. Shisui and Itachi are both _really_ smart, so it's a breath of fresh air to talk to them, especially Itachi. He had great suggestions on which books to pick up and read. He was into very high-level books, like stuff about life that kids our age shouldn't even be near thinking about at all. They were about death, war, philosophy, emotion, human relations, strife, etc. He really was an amazing person with a lot of depth, even at six years old.

Poor kid… he doesn't have a childhood. Come to think of it, neither does Shisui. It's sad but those are the cards they were dealt. It's my duty to ease their burdens though, and I'll be damned if they suffer and die the way they did in canon.

Anyway, we did meet the next day, only… I wasn't expecting to get dragged to Itachi's house. It was bad enough that Shisui tried to drag me by the sleeve of my sweater there after school, but it got worse when Itachi sided with him. There was no way we'd be hanging out at my tree; my favorite spot. I was forced to go "because it's cold; look you're shivering too!" Damn Shisui.

I was really nervous as Itachi opened the front door to the traditional house with a raised wooden floor and open porch. I had gotten comfortable being at the Uchiha district, however the idea of going to the main family's house was stressful.

I wasn't planning on meeting them _that_ early on, but damn it, the two devils _insisted_. I tried _so_ hard to convince them to go _anywhere_ but there, until finally Itachi blatantly told me that his parents wouldn't hate me. I had no reasonable argument to that and I couldn't just tell him, " _it's not in my plan, damn it!"_ so I shut up and went with it. … Everything can be adjusted. I'm just as good at winging it as I am at carefully planning it.

"Tadaima!" Itachi called into the house. The sound of a baby cooing in reply came from somewhere in the house; obviously Sasuke. It's like he has a sixth "Itachi-sense". I'm sure that kid would respond to him if he was unconscious in the middle of a hurricane.

"Itachi-kun! Okairi!" Mikoto's voice was soft and pretty, and she sounded happy but tired at the same time. We took our shoes off in the genkan, dripping melting slush everywhere and then stepped up onto the wooden floor of the warm house.

The hallway we were in was short, and opened up to a large lobby decorated with a couch and some tables and flowers, which was overlooked by a huge staircase, leading to an upper floor that overlooked the first floor below. To the right was what looked like a living, or family-room and to the left was an open doorway that signified the beginning of the kitchen's territory. There was a small bathroom tucked into a small hallway right next to the staircase. Their house was beautiful. Compared to my shitty little shack of an apartment, sometimes visited by a house centipede or two, this was like a palace in Dubai complete with an ass-wiping machine.

My fingers and toes went cold from nervousness as I dumbly followed the two Uchiha boys through the large space of the lobby and into the kitchen.

Can't fuck this up, can't fuck this up, can't fuck this up…

"Oi Mikoto-baa!"

"Ah Shisui! Konichiwa!"

Shisui laughed, but I felt like I was hearing him through a pair of cotton balls or earplugs.

Guys… I'm about to meet _thee_ Uchiha Mikoto. _Uchiha…Mikoto_. SASUKE'S MOM!

O-M-G! Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God~ohmahgaaaaad!

I resisted the urge to suck in a breath as the kitchen came into full view; I was still surrounded by shinobi, after all and it wouldn't do to look obviously nervous. I would hate for them to think I'm a no0b or a wimp.

The floor of the kitchen had large, white, shiny tiles; the countertops were dark grey marble, as was the island in the center of the kitchen, and the cabinets were a warm, dark wood; chestnut, I think. The lights above the kitchen were also warm and there was a huge bay window behind the sink area that overlooked an enormous backyard covered in a thick layer of snow and grey sky. The yard was accompanied by a cute outdoor lounge set next to a small garden filled with a still-to-bloom rose bush and honeysuckle vines amongst other bare stems I couldn't identify.

Aaaaand none of this shit mattered because oh my fucking god, there stood Uchiha Mikoto, happily and warmly smiling, drying a dish as she turned around to greet her son and nephew.

"How was sc—

She stopped short and blinked when her eyes landed on me.

Suddenly, I went from being excited right back to being nervous again. My hands were clammy and all my blood rushed to my face.

I could see the recognition in her eyes, and then the pain and memories that came with looking at me. I was a walking reminder of her deceased best friend and it's only been a short time since she lost her.

This feels a lot more fucked up than I thought it would be.

Mikoto, however obviously had some shinobi background, because though her eyes spoke volumes, her expression was like that of a mask; she was great at hiding her shock. Believe it or not, I do have a guilty conscience. I do feel bad for hurting her, just by being here, which is why I'm so nervous. I don't want to make it weird every time I come here.

 _I knew it was too soon…_

Shisui shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The silence was brief, after all, and he was quick. His sleeve brushed against my shoulder and I snapped out of it and bowed deeply.

It's showtime.

"Konichiwa. My name is Uzumaki Yuzuha." Then I energetically straightened from the bow and smiled as genuinely as possible as I walked over to her. "You're _really_ pretty—ttebane! Sorry if I stared a little." I tried to be sheepish as I stuck out my hand and Mikoto shook her head and smiling at me.

Thankfully, the smile wasn't pained… if anything it was _excited_ … which was a little weird considering the fact that she should rightfully feel sad in my presence. She shook my hand, holding the dish in her other one and smiled brightly at me afterwards.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Yuzuha-chan! You're very cute yourself!" She complemented.

"Arigato—ttebane!" I grinned back.

"You three are a little early for dinner." She made conversation as she turned back around to resume drying the dishes that rested on the dish rack next to the sink. She placed one dish into an open cabinet to her left and picked up a glass off of the rack as Shisui responded to her.

"We were planning on playing a little bit of shogi, obaa-chan!" Shisui was grinning. "'Think we can borrow the set in the family room?" He asked.

"Of course. Ita-kun, you know where it is." She allowed. "Yuzuha-chan, Shi-kun, would you two be able to stay for dinner tonight? I came across some extra fish at the market today and I doubt we'll we able to eat it all."

And I doubt she actually "came across some extra fish". This is bad, really bad. Dinner=family=Fugaku. I don't know if I'm ready to meet that beast yet.

"Of course we'll stay Mikoto-oba."

I had opened my mouth to protest, but Shisui used his damned telepathic Uchiha abilities to communicate with Mikoto and interjected before my voice could rise with an excuse.

Slick bastards. That's what I get for hanging around shinobi. Tch; unavoidable.

"Wonderful _._ " She beamed back at him.

Yep. Fan-fucking-tastic… justwhat I needed. Really, Mikoto-sama, Shisui, you shouldn'thave _._

What am I going to do? Fugaku seemed a little judgmental in the anime. What if he hates me and makes my life hard?

But… what if he doesn't? Maybe he just became cranky over time. Dealing with a newborn baby and discrimination from his own village had to have hardened his heart somewhere along the way, right? Maybe I caught him early enough… this doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I can deal with this. If he—

"Oi, Yuzu!"

On reflex I batted Shisui's hand away just as he lifted it to wave it in front of my face. I got carried away again.

"Huh? Sorry, I spaced out again." I chuckled at my own expense and Shisui shook his head as he grabbed my sleeve and guided me into the hallway where Itachi was waiting. When did he get there?

"Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your head when you do that."

If only you knew…

I let him drag me through the lobby, through the big open room to its right that I originally thought was the family room, past pretty decorative furniture and into another hallway. We followed after Itachi until the Uchiha stopped at a sliding rice paper door and slid it open.

The actual family room was traditional with tatami mats and earth-toned cushions. There was a large, low wooden table in the center of the room with most of the cushions surrounding it. The walls were crème with deep brown, wooden beams reinforcing them. Large, square paper paintings decorated the spaces between the beams, spanning half way up the wall from the floor.

On one end of the room there was a platform with a table, some decorative paintbrushes and other traditional paraphernalia as well as three swords in their scabbards with the strings tied tightly— a symbol of peace and welcoming for guests.

It was like a standard Japanese mansion.

Before I knew it I was sitting at one edge of the table across from Itachi while Shisui raided the drawers of the table on the platform for a shogi board. I watched him quietly while we waited.

"Why are you nervous about staying for dinner?"

Shit.

I turned to Itachi, hoping I wouldn't look like I was trying to hide something.

"Your mom seemed nervous when she saw me. I don't want to cause any further discomfort." I explained. "Shisui doesn't seem to care about subliminal social cues." I frowned.

Itachi chuckled.

"That's a good thing sometimes. He can pull it off. You look like Kushina-san, the woman my mother spent a lot of time with. She passed recently, so you'll have to forgive her." He explained easily and weightlessly.

Well, that was straightforward…

"Oh." I made a show of frowning. "I feel bad, now. I don't want to make her feel like she's talking to a ghost…"

"My oka-sama likes to face challenges. Contrary to what you believe, she is happy you came along."

I managed to blink at him before Shisui placed the shogi board on the corner of the table between us, tilting it diagonally so we could play.

"Mikoto-baa thinks you're cute. You're in trouble now, Yuzu!" Shisui grinned ear to ear and I gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean, 'trouble'?" I asked.

Itachi smiled as Shisui placed himself in between us, the corner of the table pointing directly to the center of his torso.

"My mother wants a daughter." He explained.

"… _Oh._ " I frowned as I paused. "Well, she's kind of out of luck. I'm not into wearing kimonos and practicing the tea ceremony." I explained. "I'm not geisha material."

Shisui snorted and Itachi chuckled.

"If anything that'll give her more of a reason." Shisui snickered.

"I really hope you're wrong…" I mumbled as Itachi spilled the shogi pieces onto the table, flipped the board open and started setting up his "army."

In the end, Itachi and I didn't get to finish our game, both of us were too stubborn to make a stupid move. Within an hour, Mikoto had finished dinner and just as we trotted over to the kitchen to sit down, I heard the front door opening.

Oh…shit.

Mikoto held Sasuke in a sling in front of her as she gracefully placed herself on a cushion in front of the kitchen table. My palms were practically sweating to the beat of Sasuke's babbling and I stood up just as Fugaku walked into the kitchen. I was so focused on him that I practically saw him walking in the hallway through the wall separating it from the kitchen.

"Tadaim—

He stopped when he saw me.

"Ah, Fugaku!" Mikoto was ecstatic, far from the solemn woman we saw at Fugaku's side in the anime. "This is Ita-chan and Shi-kun's new friend!" She explained and I bowed, thankful that the action hid my face. I was still worried that he could hear my heart racing, though.

This situation is so delicate; don't cock it up, Yuzuha…

"My name is Uzumaki Yu—

"I know who you are and you're not allowed in my home. Please leave."

I gaped at him.

…what? Already? Just like that? I didn't even get a chance to say my name! How is that even possible?!

You could hear a pin drop and with the size of the kitchen it would echo very loudly if it did.

What was most surprising was that he didn't even say what he said with malice. He just…said it like it was a somber fact. How do I fix this? This is bad…like really bad!

"Fu—

He held his hand up, halting Mikoto, who looked upset.

"Please, Mikoto."

The sad thing was that he wasn't even _sounding_ like a dick. His tone wasn't cold or harsh. He understood the situation completely, reading between the lines using our body language and demeanor. He knew Mikoto was excited. He knew Itachi was tense. He knew Shisui was getting upset.

He didn't want to upset any of them, but he _had_ to. For the sake of the clan.

Shit.

I felt Shisui's Chakra fluctuate. He felt wronged and betrayed, but that very quickly turned into righteous determination. The situation was messed up and he already had an argument at the ready.

To ne, he felt like he was about to pop, but at the same time, there was a certain nervousness to his chakra. He knew he was about to mouth off to the most important figure in the Uchiha clan, but he had justice on his side. He was a genuine, fair person and this situation wasn't genuine nor was it fair. His resolve felt impenetrable.

Itachi on the other hand felt panicked, like the way you feel when your two year old cousin is about to fall on his face and eat concrete because of something you did.

Mikoto was slightly embarrassed.

I opened my mouth before Shisui could explode. I wasn't about to let him and Itachi get in trouble because of me.

"I'll leave if you play one game of shogi with me and win. If you lose I can come here as often as I like."

I pulled the plan out of my ass on the spot and prayed I looked harmless enough that he would take the bait.

"Fair warning; I'm good." I added as seriously as my girly, six year old little voice could. It wouldn't be fair if he walked into it not knowing my skill level. I mean, realistically, I'm 24 and he looks like he's in his 30s somewhere thus, technically, he has more experience than me, so I'm in for one hell of a battle but it's better than just accepting defeat like that "okay" meme on damnlol; that's definitely not happening.

The other three inhabitants of the room were shocked at my proposition. I'm sure if I looked around I would see three pairs of slightly widened, dark Uchiha eyes with slack jaw muscles. Shisui might be gaping, though; open mouth and everything.

After he got over his surprise, Fugaku huffed a short laugh.

"Shogi?" He asked, amused. "Are you serious about your bet?"

"I'm very serious." I replied, even though it was laughable since I sounded like a pipsqueak. I might as well be a two year old commanding Chuck Norris to answer the plastic toy telephone for me.

Mikoto felt bewildered, Itachi was still stressed and Shisui slowly began to feel giddy.

"If you beat me, I will never set foot on Uchiha grounds again. You have my promise and vow as an Uzumaki. If you so wish it, I won't even speak to or involve myself with any of your clan members, either. But if you lose, you can't shun me." I explained. "All or nothing, does it sound good?" I asked.

He put his shinobi face on.

"If you're serious. However, if you lose I don't want to see tears. They don't faze me."

But they make you uncomfortable, don't they? Otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it…

"You're on."

And it was game on from there.

I'M BAAAAAACK!

Dear God the semester is finally over. I can't tell you guys the shit I've been through these last four months. I had a shitty math professor, whose class I had to withdraw from last minute, I got into a car accident cause some idiot ran a stop sign and ruined my beautiful 5-speed-manual, high-compression-motor baby , AND THE HOLIDAYS OF DEATH ARE HERE AND I CAN'T GET ANYONE GIFTS BECAUSE I HAVE NO CAR! What the fuck, man.

You guys have no idea how happy I am to return to this story. I appreciate all the favorites and follows and reviews, especially reviews. You guys being excited about this story makes me excited to write it, so keep 'em coming!

See ya later, space cowboy!

Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto ™ ® unfortunately. Wouldn't that be awesome though? I would get to see Yuzu drawn out in Kishi's art style. Poo. Oh well.


	7. May Flowers

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|7|

I took a deep breath as we sat down by the board, cleared it, and set the pieces back up. Something was telling me to stay on my toes. You know how in a lot of anime, the main character will go up against this old guy and they think they have whatever challenge in the bag just 'cause they're confident in their abilities? Well this isn't like that. Yeah, I do have confidence in myself, but I'm not stupid. Fugaku's not an opponent to be trifled with. I can see it in his face, body language and demeanor. He's bringing his game, though, it's still probable that he's underestimating me, despite my admission about my skill level.

"Hajime." Shisui, I guess our personal referee, spoke and Fugaku moved. Normally, I would move since I'm the challenging king, but this is Fugaku's home, so he gets the courtesy of moving first. He placed his silver general off to the side first. I wasn't about that life, though. I liked to have my King nice and protected by the back row.

To my surprise, Fugaku was an aggressive player. That was actually more nerve-wracking than you think. True to Uchiha fashion, the make-believe battlefield was a nightmare. Like, if these pieces were real people I would feel really bad for them. He kept trying to get my big pieces up front; the rook, specifically. I solidified my power on his side of the field, though by placing my bishop there and turning him into a dragon bishop.

But Bishops kind of suck, honestly. I don't do a good job with them, but Fugaku doesn't know that, now does he?

While he fought to capture my rook, which I placed in tempting places while running my key players away as best as I could, I blocked a few spots on the field with my pawns. By now, he had two of my pawns, but that's when I started to get serious, in my own way.

Slowly, little by little, I picked off his pawns, which were cluttering his side of the field. Once he realized his king was naked and exposed, he got a little nervous. I could see it in the way his fingers twitched. Fugaku was a head-on fighter. No wonder he planned a coup in the future; that was just his thing. I, on the other hand, preferred to distract the enemy, make them think they're winning, and then go in for the kill.

But that didn't work out as perfectly as I thought it would. I lost a knight, and then my lance, which spelled a little bit of trouble. Surprisingly, the game was moving quickly, which made things a bit worse. I felt like I needed to catch up to whatever train of thought he had, and kill that damn king. He seemed to have regained his cool when he got the upper hand. But the damage was done, he did exactly what he shouldn't have done…

He changed his strategy. Something about my playing style must've made him a little bit paranoid because he started taking my remaining pawns instead of making good use of the knight and the lance. That was where I knew I had him.

I moved my silver generals and distracted his half of the board by dropping several of the eight pawns of his that I took. Now his king was running. I still pretended like he could take me down by "accidentally" losing my rook.

He smirked triumphantly, but by then it was too late…

He forgot that my silver general was to be promoted to a gold general in the next move. With that promotion, and the other silver generals and dragon bishop surrounding him in the obscurest of ways, he was done.

I cleared my throat and pointed at his king. Our dance on the bloody field was done and his eyes widened in unmistakable surprise. It was silent in the room for a second. Then Fugaku turned red and Mikoto whispered, "Fugaku…"

"…you…" Shisui continued and then trailed off, bewildered.

"Lost." Itachi finished with finality in his boyish tone.

Fugaku cleared his throat, putting a fist to his mouth, cheeks still red. I jumped up, excited and pumped my fist, because mother-fuck, that was stressful!

"Yes! I did it-ttebane!" I cheered.

"Alright, Yuzu!" Shisui whooped and Itachi clapped twice.

"Oh my…" Mikoto whispered and Sasuke gurgled a small laugh, as if to mock his father.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha…" Fugaku stood up and stuck out his hand. Grinning, I clasped it and squeezed back firmly as we shook once.

"You have my respect." He took his loss gracefully, but his mouth was still in a straight line and his cheeks were still pink; I could see them even though he towered over me. I didn't blame him for his embarrassment; he lost to a six-year-old. Who wouldn't be embarassed?

"'Told 'ya I was good." I grinned even wider and proudly crossed my arms.

"Hn." He smirked. "I promise you won't win next time."

"Any day, Uchiha-sama. I'll be back here tomorrow to face you if you want." I proudly shot back.

He smirked.

"I'd like to see you play against Shikaku."

Now that made me nervous, but Mikoto interrupted before I could say anything back.

"Yare, yare. You lost, Fugaku, I'm surprised."

She stood up and warmly smiled at her husband. The twinkling in her eyes revealed her teasing and he smirked back at her. Fugaku shrugged, trying to keep his dignity.

"Sometimes it's good to lose." He sagely replied. "Dinner?" As if to punctuate his question, his stomach growled and Shisui snorted.

"Maybe you lost 'cause you're hungry Fugaku-jii." Shisui jibed.

"And you're going to go home hungry if you snicker again, Shisui." Fugaku shot back, though the threat was obviously empty. Who would've thought he was good at coming back at someone like that?

Shisui reeled back, putting his hands up in an "I surrender" kind of way.

"O-Oi! It was a joke!" He insisted.

Itachi chuckled as the Uchiha couple started to wisp out of the room. My two friends trailed after them, and little Sasuke babbled and giggled, picking up on the good feelings in the air.

I exhaled as I watched them go, leaving the chess pieces and the board the way it was on the table. What a relief man; imagine if I hadn't won? My life would've been so much more difficult than it already is.

Shisui turned around and grinned as he waved me over in the traditional Japanese way, like a beckoning cat. Smiling back, because really, the kid's energy was infectious, I followed the main family back to the kitchen to have a stress-free dinner.

* * *

From there on, things were a little easier. Shisui and I came over Itachi's house often, usually after we trained together at my tree and Mikoto eventually started to dump Sasuke on us while she went shopping for food on the weekends.

Today was a Saturday, about three weeks after the first shogi game with Fugaku, which, by the way, he kept up on his promise. He was more careful the next few times we played and he won sometimes… _sometimes_. Itachi found our games fascinating and one day at lunch he told me he liked seeing his father lose.

For real, he said that.

When I asked why, he said it was because Fugaku always tried to look invincible. He was the face of the clan, so that demeanor was expected of him. Itachi didn't want it to get to his head, which freaked me out a little, because that told me that he knows how bad the situation between the clan and the village can get.

As for Shisui, he would go on three-day missions during the week, and he'd always come back stressed and sometimes banged up. Mikoto had to patch him up a couple of times. Shisui, being the dramatic person he is, always made it seem like he was so much more injured than he actually was.

Today was one of those days, where Itachi and I were playing with Sasuke and Shisui was on the floor of the hang-out room just to the right of the entrance, cackling at the fact that Sasuke had shat himself and one of us would have to change him.

"Not it!" I shouted immediately after the smell hit my nose.

"Hell no, I'm not doing it." Shisui put his finger on his nose. For the first time ever I saw Itachi scrunch his nose and look disgusted as he held Sasuke at arm's length away from himself, facing me. Sasuke grinned at me and tried to reach his favorite toy…my hair. He babbled and waved his arms, poop staining his little blue onesie on the sides where his butt was.

"I don't want to." Itachi simply asserted, which was new for him. Either I'm rubbing off on him or he's really grossed out.

"Oi, Yuzu, don't you have a little brother?"

"Hey, don't put this responsibility on me, okay! I change enough diapers as it is!" I argued back as I snapped my head towards Shisui, who was still sprawled out on the floor. "Why don't you do it? You've been lazing around all day."

"Yuzu-chan! How cruel! I'm injured, remember?" Comically, he put one of his hands over his heart and the back of the other over his forehead protector.

"Oh, but you can still joke around." I growled, pinched his cheek and pulled until his skin couldn't stretch anymore.

"O-oi! Ittai-ittaaai!" He batted my hand away and his cheek snapped back into place.

"It's not my brat; I'm not doing it."

"I'll buy you sushi if you do it." Shisui offered in a serious tone.

"Wh-what! How could you even go there! I can't be bought that easily!"

"But you can be bought." He grinned.

"We're about to be shinobi, we can all be bought. You're bought." I countered and his face became serious for a minute.

"You're right about that. But still, I'll get you all the sushi you want; promise." And just like that, he was grinning again, back to the Shisui I was used to.

"Nope." I crossed my arms and then turned back to Itachi.

"You're doing it."

"I don't do well with feces." He calmly replied.

"Neither do I, but it's a big sibling's duty to deal with it."

"Maybe we should wait for Mikoto-oba to get back…"

"She's not going to be back anytime soon. The markets are swamped; It's festival time remember?" I explained.

New year's was tomorrow and Konoha was absolutely bustling with business and visitors. The police force was running on fumes, basically, so Fugaku was gone a lot this last week as well. We had Sasuke and the Uchiha manor to ourselves most of the time. The huge backyard was great for training and we ended up leaving a lot of dents and prints in the snow… and snow forts; that too. Shisui started the snowball fight, I swear.

"Man, why do I have a mission…?" Shisui groaned. I frowned.

"I'll win you a fish, I promise." I replied and he snorted.

"You know, you can't cheat and use chakra." He explained.

"Who said I would?" I shot back.

Itachi cleared his throat as Sasuke sucked on his little fist and then waved it around. Some of his spit hit my cheek. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine; but I'm not doing it by myself. If I have to wipe him up, you two are going to be there to witness it." I grumbled begrudgingly.

The two boys looked at each other. Itachi nodded and Shisui shrugged.

"Kami-sama, he smells bad." Shisui whined as he rolled to a seated position. "What's he eating again?"

"Just breast milk, I think." I answered and Itachi and I stood up, but just as we did, the door clicked open and Mikoto came in to save the day.

"Tadaima!" She called into the house.

Shisui shot to his feet to help her with the rustling bags she was carrying, since Itachi was encumbered with a gross baby. Thankfully, his poop wasn't leaky and didn't drip on the floor.

I snickered as he walked, holding Sasuke out like the biohazard he currently was.

"It wouldn't be funny if you were carrying him, Yuzuha." He spoke almost coldly. Uh-oh. He was in a mood. Sasuke saved the day, though, by laughing.

"He thinks it's funny." I countered and Itachi just sighed as we arrived in the hallway. Mikoto was gracefully taking off her sandals while Shisui was lugging two huge bags of groceries into the kitchen.

"Jeez, Mikoto-oba! What did you buy!?"

"Oh, Sasu-chan! Look what you did!" I watched her ignore Shisui and take Sasuke from Itachi's arms.

"How long ago did this mess happen?" She asked.

"Not long. We were debating on who would change him." I replied before Itachi could. She smiled warmly and she was, like, _so_ pretty. Her hair was in a low pony today and she had this cute, expensive-looking lavender jacket and I swear, if she wanted, she could model makeup or toothpaste or something. She was a great mom, too.

She laughed charmingly and began to carry Sasuke up the steps.

"I'll be back in a moment, alright? Yuzuha-chan, be ready by the time I come back, ne? We're going out after this."

…Wait, _what_?

I stared at her blankly for a minute and she just winked.

"Oh no, you're dead now, Yuzu…" Shisui whispered right next to my ear once Mikoto made it up the stairs and into Sasuke's nursery. I jumped at his grim tone.

"W-when did you get here!?" I asked. He really snuck up on me! "And what do you mean, I'm ' _dead_ '?"

"I don't exactly know, but Mikoto-oba has plans for you… feminine plans."

I visibly deflated.

"Oh, come _on_ …" I groaned.

I knew this was coming. It started with "Oh Yuzuha-chan, that kimono top looks so cute on you!" Then, when jii-chan got me a warmer blue jacket she said "Oh Yuzuha-chan blue looks so nice on you!"

I avoided it for as long as I could, but Itachi wasn't joking. Mikoto wanted a girl and right now, I was the only little girl available to her.

Fuck.

Shisui snorted next to me and I decked his shoulder.

"Ow!" He rubbed his abused appendage as I gave Itachi a pleading look. He just solemnly shook his head. I couldn't get out of it. It was rude to say 'no' and run away, too.

"Here, at least have one last snack before we lose you." Shisui tried to soothe as he grabbed the sleeve of my yellow sweater and dragged me into the kitchen, Itachi trailing after us. He raided the bags on the center island, pulled out a pretty, red apple, rubbed it against his sweater and then tossed it at me. I caught it and bit into it.

"Mmn." I chewed and swallowed. "Delicious." I felt Mikoto in the hallway upstairs and sighed. Her chakra-outline was moving towards the stairs in my mind's eye. I scarfed the rest of the apple in three, huge, bites just as Shisui and Itachi took seats at the counter. Shisui blinked at me from his spot as I threw the apple core into the silver trash can, tucked neatly into a corner where the counter ended.

"You can really eat, Yuzu."

"We established this practically the first week we met." I replied. He chuckled.

"Yeah, but it's still impressive."

Mikoto ghosted into the kitchen as gracefully as usual and passed Sasuke into Shisui's arms. The nine-year-old grinned at the baby and blew a raspberry, earning a laugh.

"Sasuke! You mastered jumping! Weeeeee!" Shisui bobbed Sasuke up and down, gripping the little sucker under his arms, simulating the way ninjas jump from tree branch to tree branch. Mikoto smiled as Sasuke tried to babble back at Shisui, and then turned to me.

"Let's go."

I gave her a pained smile and trailed after her to the genkan. I slipped into my black sandals wishing I had thick leather boots instead, wrapped my red scarf around my neck and zipped shut my little cerulean jacket.

You know, I hate being a kid. I miss being an adult. Do you have any idea how much time has been just dragging on and on since I came here? I have all the knowledge, but I can't do anything. It's a nightmare. It feels the same as when I was six years old back in the other life. I knew what was going on around me. It's hard not to have your eyes open when your parents abuse each other and you. Nothing was fair and everything was wrong. I was afraid to go home every day. The worst part, though, was that I couldn't do anything about it.

Helpless.

A ninja endures, right?

The door clicked shut behind us and Mikoto stepped onto the path that led to the elegant, wooden gate of her house. Obediently, I followed. How bad could some "girl time" with Mikoto really be?

"So, Yuzuha-chan are you planning on going to the new year festival tomorrow night?"

I could tell she was leading the conversation to a predetermined destination; the question was quite deliberate despite being delivered so innocently.

"Um…I didn't really think about it. I was going to train." I explained. I don't have time for festivals and I really have to come up with a nice way of shooting her down, because I can't waste time at a festival when I could be training and squeezing higher-level fuuinjutsu out of Hiru-jiji. There's a goal to be achieved and slacking when it's not time to slack is not going to help me achieve it. I'll rest when the Uchiha clan makes it past the point it's supposed to be annihilated.

"Well, would you please go with Ita-chan for me? If he doesn't get out of the house, he'll be all alone!"

"Eh? What about you and Fugaku-sama?" Please don't make me go… please don't make me go… I don't feel like getting kicked around by villagers when I could be training.

Mikoto smiled.

"We're going to be busy with clan business. We have our own holidays to celebrate around this time." She explained with a sad smile that totally guilt-tripped me.

Shisui's going to be away. Mikoto and Fugaku are going to be away and they're obviously taking Sasuke with them. Itachi really will be alone.

…

Maybe I can convince him to train with me…

"Alright, sure." I shrugged. "'Doesn't bother me."

Mikoto clapped her hands together, and her whole face brightened.

"Arigato!" She grinned, and I figured that that's what older Sasuke would look like if he grinned. He really did inherit Mikoto's features; hair color, fair skin, eye shape and everything. "Now! Let's find you a cute kimono!" She cheered giddily.

Oh, boy.

She then gasped. "Oh! Unless Hokage-sama already purchased one for you?" She turned and looked at me.

"What? No, no. Of course not." I explained. "But you don't have to get me one either. I can go just like this." I explained and looked down.

" _Nonsense_. A lady should always wear a kimono to a festival!" She chided and picked up her pace before I could argue.

"Ah Mikoto-sama! Good afternoon!" One light-haired lady in a green coat greeted as we passed by.

"Good afternoon Ayana-san!" Mikoto replied. I was amazed that she knew just about every person that greeted her. 'Talk about a great leader. She was like royalty, but she didn't carry herself above others.

Take notes, ladies.

The two women stopped to talk about some mom-things, like if Sasuke was sleeping well and if Ayana-san's daughter was thinking about enrolling into the academy. Blah blah a cooking recipe exchange later, we were on our way to the Uchiha district's markets again. Upon arrival I realized that this wasn't going to be a fifteen-minute trip…

"Oh, we can check Sasa-san's shop, too, and _look_! The new silk store finally opened! Ah! That one sells cute little bags and sandals!"

God help me…

As predicted we shopped for four hours.

I repeat… _s._

I tried kimono after kimono after kimono after kimono…

"Why don't you try the yellow one, Yuzuha-chan!"

…

"I like it, it makes you look like the sun, _but_ perhaps we should get you a silver one, to match your beautiful eyes!"

…

"Oh, but the purple looks gorgeous! And those yellow cranes on it are breath-taking!"

My feet were killing me nearly as much as they did when Shisui and I did drills around the training grounds. Eventually we settled on this bright red kimono with orange and yellow flowers and a darker red obi, also accented with orange and yellow tie-things. We bought the socks, wooden sandals, and a brightly-colored drawstring bag and yellow hair tie at other little shops around the district's market.

Mikoto said it would be a sin to dim the color of my hair with a dark kimono, hence why we went with the obnoxiously red one, which is bad, because the villagers will have a bigger target to zero in on. It's bad enough that my bright hair caught their attention and ire to begin with, but now, with the hair and the kimono together… I'll be unmistakable and their wrath will be unavoidable.

I dragged my aching feet after Mikoto, who wasn't even winded. She seemed so happy throughout the entire escapade that I didn't have the heart to complain to her, so I sucked it up and kept on hustling. When we got back, I practically passed out on the kitchen counter as soon as Itachi followed Mikoto upstairs to check on Sasuke; the little runt was taking a nap, apparently.

"Aw, Yuzu, did you have fun shopping?" Shisui teased.

I lifted my head off of my arms, exposed one eye, and glared at him. He should've been afraid, but no, he's Shisui, so of course he snorted and laughed. Where was Itachi to make a comment when I needed him?

"Awwwww! You're so happy!"

He reached over to pinch my cheek, but I snapped my head up off of my arms and made a move to bite his fingers. He pulled his hand back in time with a yelp and my teeth viciously clicked together. I didn't manage to get him, but startling him was just as good.

"Yuzu! So cruel!" He pouted. "What color is it, at least?"

I sighed, surprised that he just seemed to know that it was a kimono we bought.

"Red orange and yellow." I groaned. "I'm going to stick out like a Kiri-nin in Suna."

He snorted and I glared at him again.

"Well, don't worry. Itachi will be there won't he? No matter how much people want to treat you badly, they won't around Itachi."

"You say that like I absolutely need protection, or something. And how do you know we're going to the festival? Was this pre-planned by you and Mikoto-sama!?" I grumbled. He smirked and ruffled my hair.

"I'm good at guessing. Anyway, you don't need protection, but we both know it doesn't feel good to have people spitting at you, ne?" He winked.

I gaped a little. Just the other day at the main Konoha market, I bumped into a girl while looking at something in a store window. It was an honest mistake; I was mesmerized by this awesome naginata and brushed her shoulder. She screamed, treated me like a disease, and then her mother ran to her rescue as if I had done something horrible to her, cursed at me and then spat on me. The girl gave me the finger and they walked away.

In case you're wondering, no, I didn't do anything to defend myself. If I did, the two of them would be dead and I'd be treated like a murderer. If I get thrown into jail or something, it's "bye-bye ultimate goal" and "hello, failure."

But that's not the point. What surprised me about what Shisui said, is that he seemed to know about what happened, slick kid. I'll have to look out for him in the future. He has a habit of knowing too much, and I'm the only one who should know too much here.

"You saw that?"

"Depends on what 'that' is." He smirked, clearly toying with me.

I glared at him.

"You saw it." I declared, and then he sighed and frowned. "Were you on your way back from the mission?" I asked. The only time he could've seen that was if he was taking the rooftops home from his last mission.

"Yeah. I couldn't help you right then and it's been bothering me." He replied guiltily . "I feel like I should apologize."

Sometimes this kid's sugariness makes my teeth hurt. Shisui's the kind of kid that makes married couples want kids. He's strong, smart, and funny, but above all else, sweet. It's no wonder that most of the mothers in the Uchiha clan talk about him.

…I'm still debating on whether or not I should tell him that a good ninety-six percent of them want to arrange a marriage between him and their daughters. 'Poor kid is going to have to watch out when he gets older.

"I think I handled it well. What was I supposed to do, fight them?" I shrugged. "They're just narrow-minded. You can fix just about anything but stupid—ttebane." I explained with a smirk. He cracked a smile at my remark and shook his head.

"You're unique, Yuzu, you know that?"

I kept on smirking.

" _Duh_."

* * *

Festival night came and Mikoto had me head over to the house at noon; earlier than usual. She dolled me up and fretted over my hair and bla bla bla all day long. I got a nice, wispy hair cut from her, though. I liked my bob, but it was too straight at the ends; I kinda felt like Dora. Mikoto cut it back to my chin and then wisped the ends so it hugged my jaw softly. After I smelled good and after she wrapped me in the kimono, she wrapped a bobby pin with the silk bow she bought, tied it and pinned my bangs to the side.

By then it was four-ish and she had to get herself and Sasuke ready. Fugaku trudged into the house around five while Itachi and I played shogi. I felt bad for Fugaku, since he looked so tired, so I convinced Itachi to help me make tea for his parents.

Of course, I sucked at making traditional tea the way they liked it, so Itachi had to teach me. It's fascinating, really. No wonder they have a whole ceremony dedicated just to tea. Anyway, by the time Fugaku had changed into his dark, Uchiha-crested kimono, which matched Itachi's perfectly like a uniform, the tea was ready and everyone was waiting on Mikoto and Sasuke.

"How was work?" I asked to casually break the silence, pausing my game with Itachi for a moment. Usually, Itachi and Fugaku were quiet. They really didn't mix. Fugaku was a hard-hitter while Itachi didn't want to hit anything at all so it was hard for them to sit and talk, so striking a conversation wasn't so easy with both of them in the room. I didn't have Shisui's upbeat attitude here to help me, either.

"Tiring. We're understaffed." The chief replied gruffly. "I shouldn't even be going to this meeting." He replied, a hint of weary honesty in his tone.

"Perhaps you should have asked the regular forces to help." Itachi mused.

It was a sound idea. Why not extend an invitation to Konoha shinobi to join the police force? It would help neutralize some of the tension between the force and the villagers. It hadn't escalated to police brutality yet, but there was some agitation brewing, definitely. The villagers didn't trust the police force. Or the Uchiha.

Fugaku's frown was deeper than the trenches in the Atlantic Ocean.

"We don't need their help." He replied gruffly. No _wonder_ they don't get along. It's a pride thing. Fugaku is too proud to ask for help from people who may mistrust him or his clan, which is understandable, to an extent. If they don't have respect, fuck 'em, right? Normally that's a great attitude to have but in this situation … not so much.

Itachi just didn't reply. There was silence again.

This is fucked up… and a little awkward. What do I say? Think, Yuzuha!

"We can help out, ne Itachi!? What are your orders, chief!?" I grinned and placed a hand to my forehead to solute Fugaku, pulling a Shisui-esque conversation-save.

Itachi cracked a smile and Fugaku huffed a laugh.

"If only you two _could_ help." He replied and just then, Mikoto called from the staircase, right on time.

"Fuu!"

Sasuke shouted through the house as well, mimicking Mikoto as best as he could. "Wooooo!"

The little sucker managed to make us all chuckle as Fugaku stood up and made his way to the hallway. He cleared his throat and turned around.

"You two take care of each other." He commanded and I smirked, saluting him.

"Rodger that—ttebane!"

"Hai, Otou-san." Itachi replied with a small smile.

"Don't get lost!" Mikoto joked over Sasuke's babbling.

What Konoha citizen would get lost in Konoha?

"Don't worry! Itachi has a map!" I shouted back. Mikoto giggled and the door shut, leaving Itachi and I alone.

"Well!" I clapped my hands together. "Let's get some food at the festival and then head over to the training grounds!" I planned with a grin.

Itachi blinked at me, and then smiled.

* * *

The festival was actually fun once I ignored the pure evil that radiated off of some of the people who recognized me, which wasn't hard on their part because of what I was wearing. We spent more time there than planned. As predicted, the Uchiha clan heir was a respectable figure despite being six years old, and though people also eyed him warily for being Uchiha, his childish friendship with me must've softened people's hearts a bit.

I had Itachi pick dinner, since he was paying and because I was being too humble, he forced me to pick games to play. He won a stuffed squirrel for Sasuke and I won a stuffed cat for Shisui.

After we stuffed our faces with onigiri, his favorite, we trudged over to the training grounds, pretty proud of our spoils from the festival. Halfway through the walk to the grounds, I noticed we were walking on a barely-noticeable incline.

"Which field are we going to?" I asked as I used chakra to stay on top of the snow— there is no way my foot is sinking into that substance of death; no way in hell-ttebane! I like my toes frostbite-free thankyouverymuch.

"It's not a field." He asked quietly, his tone so gentle it could earn an angel's jealousy.

"Oh?" I replied, focusing on the snow beneath my feet.

"Mn. It's not a traditional training area, but it's quiet and spacious."

I shrugged next to him.

"Alright, then."

We trekked through the woods, Itachi holding up my kimono wherever necessary. I wasn't about to ruin the expensive fabric and Itachi wasn't too keen on wasting his family's money, either. Finally, when we broke through the trees...

I knew exactly where I was…

And I did not want to be here. Like, at all.

The faint sound of rushing water reached my ears and I smelled moisture dampening the crisp, winter air. It was that cliff right above the Naka River.

Where Shisui died in canon .

Where countless bodies of shinobi floated during the warring states era. I won't say that the place gave me the creeps; that's childish. However, it definitely reminded me of what I'm here for.

I looked over at Itachi. He was smiling up at the sky. I followed his gaze and realized that half of it was clouded and the other half wasn't. The sky was clearing, and the billions of stars had come out to say 'hello' to us.

Hopefully, that was a good sign. It definitely boosted my determination to succeed.

Failure is _not_ an option.

"Ready?" He asked, and turned to me, already in his relaxed fighting stance. The Uchiha style was crazy like that. All he had to do to be ready was just stand there and I could bet a million ryo that he could take _anyone_ on in that stance, whether he was surprise-attacked or not.

"Sure, what are we working on today?"

And furthermore, why am I not getting enough time to change into the clothes I sealed away?

"Something different."

"Eh?"

He smirked and I gotta say, little chibi Itachi is adorable smirking.

"Genjutsu." He said. "I'm going to practice genjutsu on you, and you're going to practice recognizing and breaking genjutsu."

That was something we hadn't yet worked on with Shisui. I blinked a couple times.

"You came up with this on your own?" I asked. With a smile, he nodded.

"Nice. Alright, let's get a move on, then."

He inhaled and closed his eyes. When he opened them they were blood red, with two tomoe lazily swirling around a solid, black pupil. I took a breath.

Holy fucking shit… ITACHI'S SHARINGAN! dkfjsdlkfhsdklhsoidhoinvlksdvnlkdZjFLk!

I stared at it, well, gaped at it, because this is his sharingan before he fully mastered it! This is his sharingan before he used it for the Akatsuki! And let's face it, who wouldn't be stunned at seeing his sharingan for the first time? I mean, come _on_! It actually does have a small glow to it. It's not like it's lit up with LEDs or anything, but it's definitely glowing a little in the darkness. Mesmerized, a chill ran through my body.

It's so freakin' coo—

Huh?

Where'd he go?

I blinked and he was gone!

"Itachi?" I asked, dumbly.

Wait, I lost a little kid! This is bad! This is like that one time I almost lost my mom's boyfriend's son… I was like eight, I think. He was following me into the apartment complex and I turned around just as the door shut behind me to talk to him, and the brat was fucking gone. I freaked out, 'cause I was going to get an ass-whipping like no other if I lost him, and when I left the complex to search for him, that little brat was walking away, holding some old man's hand! He was like, four, I think. So I ran after them and got the kid back. Either way, that feeling of utter doom and impending destruction settled over me as I turned to look for Itachi.

I spun on my heel in every direction, practically Hyuuga-style, but still, no Itachi.

"Where th—AAck!"

I was cut off after a snowball hit the side of my head. It kinda hurt, but I'm glad it isn't one of those snowballs that are more ice than snow. With eyes narrowed, I glared and spun in the direction the ball came from, powdery precipitation rolling down the strands of my hair.

Blank. No one's there. But suddenly…

"You fell right into it." His voice whispered into my ear. What is it with Uchiha and doing that! ?

I gasped and spun around. Suddenly, the area in front of me blurred and I realized that I just experienced genjutsu for the first time! I felt a little bit dizzy, like that release of pressure you get when you rub tension out of the muscles right underneath your neck.

Itachi was holding me up by my arms. I straightened my back, realizing that I was leaning the entirety of my weight against the poor kid. Looking at him, he was smiling in an amused fashion, but I can bet you my imaginary life savings that he was laughing at me in his head.

When did I fall into the genjutsu? I remember looking at his eyes and then the weird chill happened… It was like an inside-chill. My skin didn't get goosebumps or anything, it felt like my mind did, which was similar to how I felt when I sensed people on a daily basis. It's like a slight tickle just on the precipice of your conscious mind. This tickle, however, spread through my body, which must've been Itachi's stealthy chakra infecting my mind and initiating the genjutsu.

"I think I know when." I glared at him. "You took advantage of my surprise." I grumbled. "You couldn't have given me a minute to really look at them?" I asked, pointing at his eyes.

I took the opportunity to study them now, because I doubt he would genjutsu me mid-conversation. That was just rude. He chuckled in response and let go of my arms, now that I had proper footing.

"Want to try it again?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for catching me, by the way." I smiled.

"Of course."

And from that night on, the cliff by the Naka River was where Itachi and I practiced genjutsu when Shisui wasn't around to instruct us. I became pretty good at genjutsu, but it wasn't an area I wanted to focus in. When I save the Uchiha I'll let them deal with Madara and all that genjutsu shit. So long as I become a master at breaking genjutsu I don't care.

Some time passed, and February was spent mostly training with Itachi. Shisui was gone more and more often. Some days I worried that he wouldn't come back, but I remembered that as long as I kept my ass out of the battles outside Konoha walls and didn't change anything, he'd live… until he's about sixteen, that is… and then it'll be my job to make sure he doesn't die…that the massacre doesn't happen.

Anyway, every time Shisui came back he looked more and more haggard; sometimes really messed up. I was in the Uchiha complex half of the time and in the hokage tower the other half of the time.

I brought Itachi to the tower with me sometimes when he had something to deliver to jiji from his father.

Naruto was about four months old, and was starting to play with toys and roll over. He had been a vegetable for a few months, but now, he was starting to babble at me and sit up. I was working on teaching him to crawl while jiji did paperwork. When I practiced sealing and making tiny explosions on paper, Naruto would watch me in fascination from his padded, square box-thing that they usually put babies in.

Sasuke on the other hand, was already crawling…like everywhere, and was trying _really_ hard to talk, though it was only to Itachi. He was mostly quiet around Mikoto and Fugaku, which is why Mikoto put him in his little prison in the sitting room where Fugaku and I played shogi when she got tired of listening to him whine on the bad days.

When it was just Itachi and me it was "blah blah blah babble babble babble gurgle gurgle" all day. You couldn't shut the kid up; he was completely opposite of the gloomy, quiet Sasuke in canon.

Tensions kept growing between the clan and the village; people whispered about the night of the attack and how the Uchiha might've been involved; rumors spread and jiji was starting to get stressed out. He seemed weary during our lessons, but at the same time, he ramped up the difficulty of my fuiinjutsu training, which pleased me, so I wasn't complaining. He seemed to be preparing me for the worst, which suits me just fine.

Today, Mikoto was out buying groceries, and somehow, since Sasuke didn't feel like letting go of my hair, I managed to stay at the main house, instead of shopping with Mikoto, which was usually a nightmare because she would _always_ stop and buy me kimonos and training clothes and all this _stuff_ I felt guilty for taking from her. I had like, twenty cute training outfits that really were cute, but fucking expensive, man. One day, I asked her why she bought stuff for me all the time and she said it was because I'm a girl and need to look cute while I still can. "Plus, everyone dresses in black or grey; it's like a gloomy uniform. You brighten the compound up!" She revealed. After that, if it made her happy, I let her dress me up in whatever. She deserved to have some fun.

I leaned over Sasuke's little prison and made faces at the mini-Uchiha, making him laugh while Itachi chewed on an apple. I didn't distract the brat long enough, though, because he went right back to waving his hand at Itachi, leaning up against the wall of his prison, wanting the apple his brother was eating.

"AMN! AMMMNNN!"

He was getting frustrated and his chubby little cheeks were turning red.

"Sasuke, apples aren't for you." I sighed. He was a stubborn kid, totally like he was in canon, and I'm sure that at this point he'd be willing to burn Konoha to the ground for that apple. His big, charcoal eyes looked at me for a minute, because I said his name. He sucked in some snot that threatened to come out of his nose and looked back at Itachi.

"AMMMMNNNN!"

This time he waved his hand three times, with as much force as possible.

"You don't have teeth yet, dummy." I grumbled, but he ignored me. Brat.

"ICHI-NII!"

Oh, he was really trying, now. I snorted at Itachi's nickname. "Ichi-nii" sounded like he was counting, "one-two!"

"San-Ji!" I continued the next two numbers and cracked up. I felt the hateful stare Itachi gave me.

"Just give him the apple, he might not even like it since it's sweet." I gave in.

"How do you know he doesn't like sweets?" Itachi asked.

Oops.

"I don't. I'm just taking a guess. He won't choke on it if you give him a teeny-tiny piece, you know. He's going to lose his temper soon."

"AMN! AMN! AMN!"

I glared at the elder Uchiha. He met my harsh glance evenly and then sighed.

"Very well then." He acquiesced.

Just as he stood up to give Sasuke the apple, I sensed Shisui and said Uchiha shunshined right in front of Sasuke's prison, scaring the living shit out of the little brat.

"AAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHAAAAA!"

Chibi Sasuke fell back on his ass and started wailing. Shisui just gaped at the kid, all banged up. His sweater was torn in a few places and he had a square, white band-aid on his left cheek. His hair was wilder than usual and the right side of his lip was fat and busted open, though the injury was old and scabbing up.

"Uuuuugh…" He placed a hand on his forehead over his forehead protector and sighed while Sasuke continued wailing at the top of his lungs. I covered my ears with my hands. The screeching was making my eardrums pulsate and I didn't want to lose a decibel of hearing in this life like I did in the last. Itachi walked over, and picked Sasuke up.

"Sasuke, shhh. Look, it's Shisui-nii-san…Shhhhhh."

It was like the magic password to shutting him up. He cooed questionably and blinked at Shisui before smiling and waving his hand at him.

"Shiii! Shiiii!" He babbled and smiled. Shisui grinned and held out his arms. Itachi passed Sasuke to him and the baby started to laugh and play with a rip in the collar of Shisui's sweater.

"Yo!" He greeted us. "Hope I'm not late."

We were waiting all day for him to come and train with us. He had sent a bird a couple days earlier stating that he'd be here today and that we'd train, but that was bullshit, apparently because it was almost dinnertime and he looked exhausted.

"Training's canceled." I shut him down.

"Eh? Why!?" His face was twisted into confusion and shock. I'm impressed he'd even want to bother with us in his condition.

"Because you look like hell, number one, and number two, because it's almost dinner. Oh, and it's also dark outside." I explained.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, that too; are you okay?" I added.

He sighed.

"Man, I'm sorry guys. I hurried as fast as I could, but sometimes…well, you know how it is." He replied. "I'm alright though."

"ZUZU!" Sasuke was reaching for me from his pace in Shisui's arms. Shisui snorted.

"Zuzu?" He echoed, and then snorted again, holding back a laugh.

"Don't you _dare_ laugh, Shisui." I hissed poisonously.

He pressed his lips together and turned red, but couldn't hold it back. He started cracking up and Sasuke joined him. Realizing it made people happy, he continued to wave at me and call me by what he chose to name me.

We tried teaching him "Yuzuha" or even "Yuzu", but it was too complicated so he just shortened it to "Zuzu." Itachi's name was too difficult too, so that's how we became "Ichi-nii" and "Zuzu."

"Are you done yet?" I asked him, unamused. He'd been gone for two weeks now and missed Sasuke christening me with my nickname. I was understating of his absence but I was also tired of people laughing at me by now. He cleared the tears from his eyes as he handed the baby to me.

"Ow!" Sasuke immediately clutched onto my hair and made a move to stuff a chunk of it into his mouth, but I snatched the lock away from him.

"No!" I chastised. "Stop it."

"MAAAMNNN! ZUZU!"

"He's getting needy and cranky, did he take his nap today?" I asked Itachi.

"I suppose not. It's too late to put him to sleep now though." He replied.

"Nevermind that! What's for dinner?" Shisui asked, grinning.

"What did Mikoto-sama say we were going to eat…?" I murmured to myself.

"Soba." Itachi replied.

"Yesssss! My favorite!" Shisui cheered.

"Oh yeah, we _are_ having soba. I think Mikoto-sama is making it especially for your return." I commented.

"Awesome! I'll be right back. I'm gonna get changed."

Before any of us could say anything else, he just disappeared.

March eventually rolled around, and when the Sakura trees around the training grounds bloomed I remembered that it was Sakura's birthday sometime this month. Spring was finally here and I was happy to give the snow the finger as it melted and disappeared for now.

Fuck winter.

April was rainy and May was unusually warm, which bothered some people, but pleased me. Naruto started to crawl and Sasuke started to walk. Itachi's birthday was coming up, and I scrambled to get him something. I have no money to buy him anything with, though.

NONE!

So I have to make him something.

...But I have nothing to make him something with because I have no money! !

Thus…

"SHISUI!" I banged on the front door to a cozy little home just a stone's throw away from the back wall of the Uchiha compound, closest to the woods beyond Konoha.

"OOOOOI! OPEN UP!"

BANG!BANG!BANG!

Nothing. This was the third day in a row I haven't seen him after he came home from his mission.

The mission today was to get Shisui to help me get a gift or make a gift for Itachi. Hence, I ditched Itachi on our way back from school, saying that I left something at Shisui's house and not to wait up for me.

In reality, I had never even been to Shisui's house. I just knew where it was… but Itachi didn't have to know any of that. I gave up on bashing the door, and decided that maybe it would be better if I just went in through the window… though, breaking into a shinobi's house might be a dumb idea... a dumb and unsuccessful idea.

But it was worth a shot!

"Alright, fine then. Ignore me. I'll have to go wake you up myself." I muttered.

He was legit sleeping. His chakra was steady, and stationary and none of my babying and hollering was waking him up. I moved to try to find a shady back door or something, but I halted in my tracks when I felt his chakra stir. He was slowly making his way from the top floor to the bottom floor…

Too slowly.

Shisui's motions, even when he wasn't training or tricking anyone, were sharp and quick, though very controlled. It was unlike him to move so sluggishly.

Something's wrong.

I shut my eyes and really focused on him, ignoring every other annoying chakra signature I could feel in my huge sensory range. I could clearly see his form in my mind, down to the last fingertip. He looked like he was pressed up against something, probably a wall, trying to hold himself up.

Something's really fucking wrong. Shit…shit!

I channeled chakra into my foot like they taught us to do at the academy, and took a deep breath.

I'm sorry about your door Shisui, but…

"RAAAGH!"

I launched my foot at the knob, just as Shisui's form in my mind flickered out and reappeared right on the other side of the door.

Shit! No!

His body collided with the other sue of the wood just as my foot connected with it. The lock broke and the door slammed open, eliciting a startled shout from Shisui on the other side as he was shoved backwards. There were two large thumping sounds that didn't sound comfortable, followed by a boyish cry of pain.

Shit.

"Shisui!"

He groaned in response. I frantically tried to push the door open further, since Shisui mostly stopped it from opening all the way, but his foot was in the way, so I shimmied through the narrow opening, trying not to catch my sunflower yellow kimono top and black shorts on anything while moving as quickly as possible.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I dropped next to him on the floor, my knees striking the wood with a thump. He was curled up holding the back of his head in just a pair of navy, cotton shorts. His body looked pale but he smelled like sweat and his hair was matted to the back of his neck and forehead. His breathing was wet and haggard.

"Nevermind don't answer that. What's wrong with you?" I asked as I kneeled next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. I wanted to turn him over and look at his face, but he was clenched up and there was no way my skinny little arm would stand up to the epic nine-year-old muscle under his skin. Nope.

"Sick…" He groaned. "Why did you kick the door in? I hit my head!"

"I'm sorry I saw you moving slowly, so I thought something was wrong, which it _is_ , and I thought I'd kick the door down and get to you… Are you sick? Poisoned?" I asked, worried for him. He looked up at me with one long-lashed eye and finally put his arms down, leaning up on one forearm.

"It's just a cold, mom. Relax." He huffed back, but his eyes were bloodshot and he was as white as I am on a regular basis. My hand shot to his damp forehead and sure enough, he had a fever. A bad ducking fever.

"You have a fever! You're burning up! Why didn't you tell anyone?" I hissed at him. "Get up, we're hauling you to the hospital!"

"What, no!" He shouted, suddenly horrified. "Not the hospital!"

I growled, grabbed his ankle, and jumped to my feet just as he lunged for the edge of the crème-colored hallway wall. I pulled on his ankle, but he wouldn't budge.

"I swear—

I grunted and tugged.

"Once I learn how to shunshin— UGH!" I tugged again. "And once I'm stronger you won't pull this kind of crap!" I gave one more good pull but he held fast despite being sick as a dog. "Let go of that wall!"

"No! I don't want to!"

"SHISUIIIII!"

"No!"

"You're sick!"

"I'm not dying!"

"You have a fever you idiot!"

"It's not that ba—Aghuh!" He coughed up ugly green phlegm onto the wooden floor next to my sandal.

"Ew!" I dropped his ankle.

"I'll cough on you if you take me to the hospital." He threatened, and then coughed again, though this time nothing horrendous left his lungs.

"You need something. You look awful. At least take a fever reducer." I crossed my arms and watched him pant and tremble in exhaustion.

"I don't have any… I just need a cool cloth…" He murmured and then got himself to his feet, using the wall. I helped him up the rest of the way and slung his arm over my shoulder.

"Ugh, you need a shower, you smell like sweat." I grumbled as I kicked the front door shut with the back of my foot.

"Not my fault I'm too tired to do it."

"I don't blame you. Let's take you to your room."

Well, mission failure. Itachi's gift will have to wait.

I tightened my grip around his clammy wrist and slowly helped him haul himself past the arched doorway that led to the small kitchen and up the dimly lit staircase. His house was simple from what I could see; Bland crème walls with warm brown accents and a splash of red here and there. We safely reached the top of the stairs and another bland hallway lined with two doors to the right and two to the left. I turned left before he could tell me which direction to go in.

"How'd you know which way to go…?" He asked, tiredly.

"I saw you. In my head, I mean. This is where you came from."

"First door."

"Got it." I opened the door for us. His room wasn't bland at all compared to the rest of his house. He had dusty black shelves lining the walls sporadically, with books and little knick-knacks stacked on them, including the little orange stuffed cat I got him around new year's.

There was a desk against the wall the door was located on with papers, pens, a journal and a lamp scattered on its surface. A few pictures of Itachi and Shisui were taped to the pale green wall above it.

The full-sized bed was pushed up against a corner across from the desk, red and crème sheets thrown about everywhere. There was a huge wet spot on the sheets where he had been sweating. The room was stuffy because it was hot and the window just beyond the foot of the bed, lined with dimming black curtains was shut. Clothes and kunai and other scrolls and pouches were all over the floor and I was thanking God or who and whatever that they weren't legos otherwise I'd be in for some pain.

I dodged a pair of boxers lying next to a white undershirt, tugging Shisui by his waist and arm with me. We made it to his bed and I sat him down on it.

"You're dehydrated."

"You're an iryo-nin now?" He chuckled with dark circles under his eyes.

" _No_ I'm drawing conclusions based on what I see. You sweated out all of your fluids, baka." I grumbled as I kicked aside a sandal and pushed open the curtains to the window, wincing at the light since my eyes became used to the dimness of his house.

"Well, don't take it out on the sandal…"

"Better the sandal than you." I quipped back. What an irresponsible kid! What if the fever got so bad it took him?! He could've at least opened the window to let some air in!

"So cruel, Yuzu!" He whined as I unlocked the window and slid it open, letting the breeze in.

"Stay here. I'll be right back."

"O-oi! Hang on!"

I was already walking out of his room. I swung my body over the railing and landed into a crouch on the first floor below, springing up and into a dash to the kitchen.

"Water…where does he have water?" I muttered to myself. There was no jug to be seen anywhere. In fact, the kitchen seemed barren. It was dusty. He didn't use it.

But he still _had_ to have water somewhere.

I passed the small, circular table for one-or-two with a lonely wooden chair pushed into it, and made my way past the solid, navy countertop to reach my destination: the white refrigerator.

I opened it and found…

A dead orange.

Yep. That's it. Just a crusty, stiff, browning orange with a spot of mold growing by the opening where it used to be attached to the tree.

What the fuck, Shisui.

No jug of water. I looked at the white sink with its silver faucet and wondered if _maybe_ I should get him tap water…

I narrowed my eyes in disgust. Nope. No tap water for Shisui. That shit gave me the creeps; 'don't trust it. Doesn't he have one of those kind-of Brita filter jug things like Mikoto does, somewhere? I was just about to give up, when I saw a white teapot on the matching stovetop. I lifted it and sure enough there was cool water in it. He had made himself tea and boiled water at some point.

I rummaged through the white cabinets, pulling them open by their little navy knobs one by one. They were mostly empty. One or two had dusty cookware in it.

I finally found the cabinet he kept all of his glasses and dishes in, and grabbed a slender, cylindrical glass, decorated with little blue and teal bubbles. One glass of water wouldn't be enough to rehydrate him, but it's a start. I rummaged some more to see if he had that medicine cabinet we all have in our kitchens, most likely filled with expired antibiotics and flu meds, but found nothing. Aside from two pairs of silver chopsticks, there was nothing in the drawers, either.

Barren. Shisui's more alone than I thought he was. That's not a good thing. I feel guilty for never inviting him to stay over now.

Sighing, I climbed the wall in the hallway, careful not to spill the water, and hopped over the railing again. When I entered Shisui's room, the Uchiha was laying under his covers, shivering. I kicked more shit out of my way and shook his shoulder to let him know I was there. He turned over and sniffled.

"Thanks." He said in a stuffy tone.

"Give me your wallet."

"Eh?"

"Your wallet. Where is it?"

"You're robbing me now?"

I glared at him. This is no time for jokes!

"No, I'm going to get you fever reducers and some clean water."

He looked at me for a moment, red in the cheeks, but pale everywhere else and nodded.

"It's in my pouch in the corner over there."

He nodded his head and I looked past his window to see a closet tucked neatly into the corner where his military green pouch rested atop the wooden floorboards. I reached the thing, rummaged through it and found a bland, black flip-open wallet. He had no ID or anything else. There was just money tucked into a folding pocket. He may as well have just bought a money clip and saved himself the space.

"Got it. You stay here and finish that glass. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Yuzu…" He called just as I crossed the threshold into the hallway. I turned around and saw him smiling at me from his fetal position under his covers.

"Arigato…"

I waved my hand.

"Yeah, yeah. You owe me a katon jutsu for this." I smirked and walked out.

Ten minutes later, I found an apothecary in the Uchiha market, where I found one of those Brita-filter type of jugs, a fever-reducer and a painkiller, though, everything was in ground, powdered form. I had two big bags the size of both of my little hands put together, a little measuring spoon for each, and a big jug with a filter-net on top of it. I never knew how these things worked, but the idea was very simple. You take this net filled with charcoal and reeds and fit it over the mouth of the jug. Slowly pour water through the net. The water gets filtered and then you take the net out and serve the water. Done. Simple, but genius.

I took Shisui's wallet out to pay.

"Five hundred ryo, please ojou-chan." The Uchiha woman at the counter was elderly. Her tied hair had gone white, and she had wrinkles and age spots. Despite the dry, wrinkled skin, you could tell that she was once very beautiful. She had gorgeous high cheekbones and stunning big, warm-brown eyes.

You know how when people get old their either get really fat or really skinny? Well, this woman was frail and thin and her dark-green, long-sleeved dress was probably the smallest size possible but it was still too big for her. It almost made me feel bad, but people who struggle don't want pity so I didn't shoot her any looks of sympathy. I pulled out five hundred paper ryo exactly, and heard something slip onto the floor. I thought it was money, but when I handed the lady the money I owed her and looked down, I realized I hadn't dropped a bill.

It was an old, wrinkled picture, bent in half to fit in the wallet.

I picked it up, and… I didn't know how to feel.

There was a man with curly salt-and-pepper hair, clearly in his fifties or so, and a beautiful young couple. They were sitting on a purple picnic blanket and two blurred kids were chasing each other in the background. The older man was, without a doubt, _the_ Uchiha Kagami, based on his slightly drooped eyes and oval face shape.

The woman was absolutely stunning. I could tell she was Shisui's mother because of her eyes. Shisui inherited them from her. They were beautiful, cat-like upturned charcoal-grey eyes set into a regal, pale face with long, loosely-curled, jet-black hair that fell past her shoulders. She was holding little two-or-three-year-old Shisui who had his fist in his hand, eyeing the salad at the edge of the purple picnic blanket with wide eyes and an equally wide smile. The man was also _very_ handsome.

Totally my type.

He had a masculine jaw, a light amount of neatly-styled scruff, dark, round eyes and long lashes, with short, thick hair and a scar that spanned from the bottom of his left eye to the middle of his cheek. He had his hand on Shisui's wild head of curly hair, grinning mischievously, as if encouraging the child to take the salad bowl and wreck it. They looked so happy; all three of them. Shisui's mom was smiling, enjoying her son and husband's antics, and Kagami looked proud.

What can you even say to any of this?

The woman at the counter cleared her throat and I shook my head, placing the picture back into the wallet, and taking my receipt.

"Arigato!" I grinned. She shot me a warm, crinkled smile and nodded. I dipped out of there and ran as fast as I could back to Shisui. I stamped up the pathway, shot through his busted door, slammed the thing shut behind me and ran into the kitchen.

"Shisui! I'm baaaaack!" I called over the sound of the rushing water from the sink. I slowly filled the jug with clean water, took off the filter net and placed it on the drying rack next to the sink. I grabbed another glass of water and measured out the proper amount of fever reducer and pain killer powder, dumped the mixture into the water, and then mixed it.

It was probably going to taste hella nasty, but it was better than him dying from some zombie-virus fever.

I rushed up the stairs, spilling only a drop or two on my way there and arrived in his room, to find him sleeping and sweating. His eyebrows were pinched together and he didn't look happy. His wet breaths didn't sound too good, either. I placed the glass of water on his oak nightstand, and shook his shoulder.

"Mng…what?" He stirred and his eyes opened. He was surprised to see me, but only for a minute."Yuzu…"

"This is going to taste really nasty, but you have to drink it." I told him, and handed him the glass. It was clear and looked harmless. Shisui wrinkled his nose.

"I smell the medication in it…"

"Just drink it or I'll force it down your throat." I snapped.

"You're not scary, you know."

"Wait 'till I get serious." I shot back. He groaned and picked up the glass. He drank it really fast and slammed the glass back on the nightstand, coughing violently.

"Ack!" More coughing. "Gross."

"The nastiest meds work the best, they say…" I mumbled. "Hang on I'll be right back."

I forgot the jug downstairs. I left, grabbed it and brought it back. Shisui settled under his covers as I placed the jug on his nightstand with an accomplished sigh. He seemed to be shivering.

"Why'd you come here in the first place?" He asked.

"You sound like you didn't want to see me, or something." I smirked. He shook his head.

"No, that's not what I mean."

"It's Itachi's birthday and… I don't know what to do about a gift for him… I feel bad getting him nothing." I replied. "But that can wait. You're sick, so just stay in bed. You can help me figure it out when you're better. We have time." I explained. Shisui grinned, red fever-cheeks and everything.

"Make him food. You know he likes to eat."

I grimaced.

"Really?"

"Yeah, who can refuse food?" He asked and I shot him a withered look.

"I'm starting to think that _you_ would want food for your birthday. You're giving me bad advice, aren't you?"

"What? No, no! Really, honestly. Make him something to eat; a cake, anything. He'll appreciate it more than you purchasing something, you know?"

"…Alright. I suck at cooking, but I'll figure something out…" I looked around his room. "Oh yeah, your wallet. Here." I placed the item on his desk and crashed into a seated position next to him.

"Do you wanna sleep or play cards?" I asked.

"Eh? Don't you have things to do?" He asked.

"I don't have to see jiji until later." I explained.

"You shouldn't ditch out on training, though."

I shook my head.

"Itachi has some clan thing to go to anyway. I would've gotten five minutes of genjutsu training anyway." I shrugged. He gave me a calculating look but shrugged anyway.

"Do you know how to play Koi-Koi with Hanafuda cards?" He asked.

"No…" I replied. Shogi was my thing. I never even heard of Koi-Koi. Shame on me.

Shisui smirked.

"There's a deck in the top right drawer of the desk. I'll teach you."

* * *

 **A/N**

Okay, so you guys remember the guy who ran the stop sign? The one who caused my accident?

Right. Well that douchebag tried to say that I was speeding. SPEEDING.

I'm about to go super saiyan four, over here. They only want to give me 80% of the value of my car. Yes, it's a lot, but that asshole RAN A STOP SIGN! KNOWINGLY!

KNOWLINGLY!

And you're saying that I'm 20% at fault?

Fuck no!

I smell a lawsuit. And a fucking waste of time. This just goes to show you. No matter how safe of a driver you are, and I'm damn safe by the way (I WASN'T SPEEDING ON A SIDE STREET IT'S ILLOGICAL), some other asshole is always going to be reckless, _somewhere_. You could be minding your own damn business and someone could just wreck you.

My neck is injured. I have doctor's appointments left and right to attend and I have no car to get to them. I'm paying Uber to take me whenever necessary, bumming rides off of people and I can't go grocery shopping.

I'm eating shit, because I don't have the option to control my diet anymore, now that I can't go buy groceries AND I can't do parkour or lift weights, so I'm getting fat.

I can't do parkour guys. I was going to join a gym and learn and everything. This asshole killed my dream by running a damn sign.

I just… I don't know what to say.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to update. I might clean up the end of the chapter after I post it since I just want this chapter out for you guys. I know a lot of you are waiting on it.

I sincerely hoped you guys enjoyed it and I hope to get some reviews and love in return.

Sincerely,

Trish

See ya later, space cowboy!

-X-

Disclaimer: Do I even need this anymore? If I owned Naruto, you have no idea how differently I would have ended it.


	8. Enter: Uchiha Utau

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

A/N: I don't usually like to write these here to answer complaints in reviews because this usually starts arguments, flames etc.

So I'm going to put this here with the disclaimer that **I don't mean to offend or irritate anyone** and **I'm not looking for a fight.** It's a waste of my time and yours. It takes too much energy to be angry and I have almost none of that these days.

That being said, there seems to be confusion about a couple of things that I received in my reviews. I will address them one by one.

The difference between regular bunshin and kage-bunshin.

I know the differences between the two guys. I know _kage-bunshin_ a high-level jutsu. I know that that is what they're learning. How is this possible? Shisui is crazy-talented. In one of the games (the one that Kishomoto designed Shisui's susannoo for) Danzo said he was the strongest Uchiha in the clan, possibly ever, or rather something along those lines. Shisui is chunin and only because it's a formality. Remember, he was a genin and Hiruzen and the council mentioned how though he still had a low rank, he was basically at chunin-level. It's not a stretch to think that now that he advanced ranks, which I'm sure I mentioned somewhere (and if I didn't I apologize, I'll write more on this particular detail later), he'd be able to dip his feet into jounin level jutsu. By the way, if you look on the Naruto wiki, the kage-bunshin is a B-rank jutsu. And I do believe that it _does_ require chakra control. Keep in mind that Yuzuha is an Uzumaki. Though she has the kyuubi right now, it didn't change her ability to control chakra. Also, again, keep in mind that these kids are extremely talented. They're in elite classes because they're prodigies. Even _if_ the original Yuzuha (before OC took her body) wasn't on Itachi or Shisui's level, _this_ Yuzuha is because of her knowledge and ability to _adapt_ , which is a trait I hoped you guys would pick up on.

I hope that cleared up that issue.

Shisui's parentage.

I've done my research, guys. In every article, web page, game, anime, etc that I could find, as far as anyone knows _Shisui's parents are unknown._ Now, I know what you're thinking. "What about Kagami!" Well, in every media and article, it says that Shisui is Kagami's "descendant," not his _son_ specifically. T. Though that _can_ mean that he is his son, it's not concrete enough. We can all agree that Kagami was young when the council was young. Meaning, if he was alive, he'd be really old. If you look at Shisui's physique, especially in the scene where he and Itachi are sitting in the clan meeting, he definitely has the body of a younger boy. Older than Itachi _maybe_ (this is where the _fiction_ in fan fiction comes in) but definitely _not_ in Kakashi or Minato's age group, where a really old _father_ in the current time frame would have been appropriate to have. Knowing that Kagami was in Danzo's age group, Kagami would be a grandpa by now, thus _not_ _realistically_ Shisui's father. Plus, the fact that they said "descendant" is significant. If they wanted to clue in on Shisui's parentage, they would've just said "son" rather than "descendant." Thus, I think that that's just a popular headcannon confused with actual facts. Shisui's age was also never given.

Guys, I try my very best to look things up before I write them. I don't like to see people arguing in my reviews. If you're confused about something, please do the footwork yourself and look stuff up. We're in an age where information is accessible and easy to attain.

That being said, I hope I didn't offend anyone, and I hope no one gets sensitive about these explanations.

I know I'm not perfect, either so if you guys have concrete evidence to support something I overlooked, misinterpreted or just plainly got wrong, let me know in a PM but PLEASE HAVE EVIDENCE.

Please enjoy this chapter and above all keep an open mind.

|8|

"Great job, Yuzuha-chan! Now you have the hang of it!" Mikoto cheered as I patted my first, full-fledged rice ball done. She grinned and turned back to stirring the pot of miso soup she was making for her eldest son's birthday.

Yes. It is the infamous ninth of June, Itachi's seventh birthday, and here I, Uzumaki Yuzuha, am… making him and the rest of the guests-to-come rice balls…

…At mother fuckin' six in the morning while his lord highness Uchiha sleeps the morning away.

I'd be having much more fun training. I can still practice taijutsu or shurikenjutsu while I'm tired, but practicing cooking at six in the morning after training well into the night with jiji? No way. It took me four tries to make a proper rice ball. _Four_! Mikoto has the patience of a saint.

I yawned into my plum shirt-sleeve.

"Arigato Mikoto-sama."

She gave me a short, mischievous giggle.

"Kawaii… you're going to make a wonderful wife one day, Yuzuha-chan."

Aaaaaaaand there she goes… _again_. I dropped the ball I made onto a tray and grimaced as I scooped more rice out of the bowl on the counter in between us and placed it into the palm of my hand.

"Okay." I replied as innocently as possible as I adjusted my bare feet on the smooth, wooden step stool Mikoto provided for me. This isn't the first time she's said something like this, by the way. It started just a month or two ago. It was innocent at first, "Oh, Yuzuha-chan, you're going to be even prettier when you grow up!" Then, it kind of escalated into, "You're going to have to find someone who can keep up with you at this rate!" while playing shogi with Fugaku in the evening. Then, it got a little weird when she came home on a weekend to relieve Itachi and me from baby-duty with Sasuke.

"Look how happy he is! You're both going to be _great_ parents one day!"

I would have taken it as an off-handed complement if she wasn't wearing her "innocent" smile; the one she gives when she's planning something.

All I'm going to say is…

Hell. To. The. _No_.

Let's get one thing straight, here. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

 _This is about Naruto_.

I'm not here to kissy-kissy fall in love and make Uchiha babies for anyone's fantasies. Single life for life, yo. 'Ain't nobody got time for that. If she's shipping me with anyone she has another thing coming. You can call me crazy all you want, you're absolutely correct. What insane person _wouldn't_ jump at the chance to manipulate their way into Uchiha Itachi's arms through his mother, right? Well, _this_ insane person wouldn't. Yep. Me. Uzumaki Yuzuha. The only woman, well, _girl,_ who would refuse an opportunity like this one. But the fact remains that Madara has to be stopped. Before him, however, Danzo has to be stopped. And before even that the Uchiha Massacre and a whole bunch of other shit needs to be stopped, too.

So yeah, no. Not happening, Mikoto-sama, sorry.

Busy busy busy….

I continued clapping together lumps of rice and fish the way she taught me until she told me to go to the guest room and get ready for the party for which _of course_ she bought me a kimono for. It's a really pretty thing, honestly. It's pink with red peonies and leaves that match my hair color. She bought me a really cute peony clip to match, too.

 _Sigh_.

It's only going to get worse when I get older, so I might as well learn to enjoying the primping and doting. Maybe if the massacre is stopped she and Fugaku-sama will try for a girl and I won't have to feel guilty anymore.

On her gentle command, I washed my hands, excused myself and then quietly ghosted up the stairs, past Sasuke's nursery where the little brat still slept, past the master bedchamber, past Itachi's room, down the next hallway, past a few main bathrooms and into one of the few guestrooms tucked into the end of the hallway.

I shut the sliding door behind me quietly and took in the pristine, shiny wooden flooring, and tasteful decorations. The room was equipped with a closet, a dresser and a table, all tastefully oriental in style. A couple decorative scrolls hung at each side of a large, curtained window and a vase filled with pretty red flowers rested atop a vanity equipped with a mirror and a rectangular stool. The kimono was folded neatly atop the vanity, as if it were waiting for me since the day it was made.

Though, knowing Mikoto, I wouldn't be surprised if it really _was_ waiting for me since the exact day it was made. She'd unnecessarily gotten me a few custom-made things here and there and I wouldn't put it past her to go all-out for her son's birthday. The weather was warm so the kimono wasn't made of thick silks or multiple layers. I walked over to it and started wrapping myself in it while a few birds chirped outside, probably basking in the late morning sun.

Lucky bastards.

I fumbled with the obi for a minute. You know, I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for Itachi to try my food.

I know, right? That's so school-girl of me, right? I'm shit at cooking, and though I trust Mikoto and her directions, I wouldn't put it past myself to have fucked _something_ up. Either way, it's too late now to fix anything. I heard Sasuke start to cry and then scream bloody murder 'cause I guess he got bored of laying in his crib.

"AMMMNNNN!"

No, he's hungry, nevermind.

I finished tying the obi and then put on the socks, brushed my hair with the brush in the drawer of the vanity and pulled my side-bangs back with the clip.

Done.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

I look like a doll no matter how you look at me. I'm damn cute if I do say so myself.

I made my way over to Sasuke's nursery, hurrying so he wouldn't wake his highness Uchiha Itachi, but I ended up being too late.

"ICHI-NII! AMN!"

Itachi had already made it there. I turned the corner and saw him walking out of the nursery with his brother in his arms, cooing and giggling and tugging his growing hair. He must've sensed me because he turned and looked a little perplexed as to why I was there. When he noticed my clothes he looked horrified.

"Has the party started?" He asked with an edge in his usually-calm tone. I snorted.

"Yeah, it's like two in the afternoon; Sasuke's nap just finished." I lied, but Itachi was sharp and saw through it. He narrowed his eyes and I chuckled.

"Alright, you didn't wake up _that_ late. It's only like eleven. You and your brother both slept in."

Speaking of which… even Uchiha Itachi woke up with bedhead, ladies. And so you know, he apparently sleeps in a rumpled white t-shirt and his boxers.

Hah! Imagine _that_. Again, this is something you'd never have known just reading the manga or watching the anime.

"It's still later than I like it to be." He grimaced. "The guests will come in an hour; can you take him downstairs?" Itachi held his brother out, and Sasuke babbled at me, waving his pudgy hands up and down.

"Zuzu! _Zuzu_!"

I sighed.

"Is he owned in crap?" I asked. Itachi smirked.

"Perhaps."

"Itachi I'm _not_ changing him! You're in your pajamas, if he's soiled, _you_ do it."

He gave me a flat look and I saw his eyes drift to the stairs. No doubt he was wondering if Mikoto would do it, but he shook his head, changing his mind immediately. His mother was cooking and he was too polite to disturb her when she was doing something she loved.

"Come with me." He asked.

"What if he pees on me?" I asked.

"He won't."

"How do you know? He destroyed my shirt last time."

And that time I vowed I'd never change him again.

Itachi sighed, shut his eyes as if praying for patience, and then slid open the door to Sasuke's nursery. He knew better than to argue with me by this point. I trailed after him as Sasuke tugged on one of Itachi's longer strands. It didn't seem to bother the older Uchiha.

I happened to hate it when the little runt did that. Wait 'till he gets older. I'll have a hundred baby stories to embarrass him with in revenge.

Sasuke's nursery was a calm, crème color with splashes of blues and greens here and there. His cradle was in the center of the room, and in the corner there was a whole cabinet dedicated to baby items, next to a table equipped with a protective railing for diaper-changing. A little dresser stood in another corner, housing all his little onesies. Mikoto had already bought him little baby clothes; shirts and pants and stuff, even though he wasn't at that stage yet. He would be soon, though. It was almost his birthday, and mine, come to think of it. He was going to be a year old.

Itachi placed Sasuke on the cushion on the changing table, and unclipped his dinosaur-patterned onsie. Meanwhile, Sasuke could have shot rainbows and hearts out of his eyes with how lovingly he was looking at his big brother.

Holy shit did that diaper smell to high heaven! Itachi cleared his throat, probably of the vomit that threatened to creep up it, undid the diaper and threw it into the trashcan next to the table with the speed of an anbu.

"Could you please hand me the wipes, Yuzuha?" He asked politely.

"Sure."

I pulled them out of the closet and handed them to him.

"Are you excited for your party?" I asked.

"Not really." He replied as he wiped Sasuke's ass.

Oh, Sasuke. God forbid you become a jackass in the future. I'll make sure to rub this moment in your face. Wait a minute, what did he say?

"Wait, what?" I asked. "How come?"

"It's not a party." He replied. "A lot of the prominent members of the clan will attend. It will be more like a political luncheon, if anything. My role will be to entertain other kids. I kind of don't want to." He explained honestly.

" _Oh_." Why didn't I think of that? "Well, it's only for a few hours. Let's go train afterwards. Teach me the gokakyuu jutsu or something." I replied. "Or we can just hang out or something. Whatever you want; it's your birthday. We'll make up for the boring party." I grinned.

His mouth turned up in a small smile, but he still looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Poor kid.

"I'd like to teach you the jutsu." He replied.

I wasn't surprised. Itachi enjoyed teaching. Of course, he told me once that he'd rather teach literature or something else of the sort, but helping others better themselves was something that made him happy.

"Awesome! You think my nature is fire? If it's fire, the jutsu will come easier to me, right?"

"I'm not sure. We can ask Otou-san for a few chakra papers. I don't think he'll mind giving us some if it's for you."

"Yessss!" I pumped my fist and grinned. All I have to do is wait a little bit and I'll have another jutsu under my belt… hopefully. It would be freakin' epic to have a katon jutsu in my skillset, assuming I'd be able to get it down.

Itachi smiled as he walked over to the dresser to fish out an outfit for Sasuke. I automatically took his place and poked the little Uchiha munchkin in the stomach.

Instant laughter. He's ticklish. I poked his sides again and he waved his little arms, his eyes squeezing almost all the way shut, and his mouth wide open as he laughed over and over until Itachi came back. We decked Sasuke out in a bright red onsie with the Uchiha crest boldly printed on the back of it.

"There. Now you're ready, Sasuke." Itachi smiled after clipping shut the last button.

"Zuzu!" He was on the table, but he was calling for me. Itachi picked him up and held him out.

"He wants you."

"Wrong. He wants my hair."

"ZUZU!"

I looked at Itachi, holding Sasuke out expectantly, and then at the determined look on the baby's face. His hair was all mussed in the back; his duck's ass was forming and it made him look funnier than a baby should.

"No. My hair is nice today." I denied and held my arms out in an "x" shape.

"Please?" Itachi turned Sasuke left and right as if it would entice me to take the little brat.

"Nnnnnope!"

I crossed my arms and turned around.

"ZUZU!" The baby hiccupped… "WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Aaaaand he's crying. I sighed. Fucking _fine_. I turned around and held my arms out. _Immediately,_ the crying stopped. I glared at the duo, the two brothers grinning from ear-to-ear. They were _already_ getting slick with me. I grabbed Sasuke under his arms and curled him towards my chest.

As expected the little bastard grabbed the hair on the left side of my head where my pin _wasn't_ located, thankfully, and started playing with it. I'm going to have knots for days…

So much for looking nice at the party... around important fucking political figures.

Itachi chuckled and led us out of the room, sliding it shut behind me.

"I'm assuming you're going to get ready?" I asked as I faced him in the hallway.

"Mn. Will you be downstairs?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I have nothing else left to do."

He nodded.

"Alright then." He then turned his attention to Sasuke. "Listen Sasuke."

The kid immediately stopped whatever he was doing to the left side of my head at the mention of his name.

"Be good. Don't mess up Yuzuha's hair too much."

His smile grew so bright the sun was ashamed of itself. Cooing once, he lifted my hair…

"OW!" …And tugged it harder than he ever has before.

Completely the fucking opposite of what Itachi asked of him. Show's how much he understands, damn it!

"Sasuke! _Stop!_ "

He was gripping my hairline, right behind my ear and god _damnit_ it hurts!

"ItachiiiiiiI! Make him stoooopppp!"

I tried to get his little fist out, but he had one hell of a deathgrip. I suddenly feel very bad for cannon Sakura. Getting her windpipe owned by Sasuke's hand must've been a miserable experience.

"Sasuke! High five!"

Itachi held his hand out. That was the one thing Sasuke _did_ understand. Delighted that Itachi wanted to play with him he tore his sweaty little fist out of my hair and smacked Itachi's larger palm with his baby one. I rubbed my hairline with the hand that wasn't busy holding Sasuke.

"I don't want him anymore." I huffed. " _You_ take him downstairs." I growled.

"Not a chance. Ja-ne!" And with a final smile, Uchiha Itachi bolted down the fucking hallway, leaving me to eat his dust. The door to the bathroom in the other hallway audibly shut before I could react. I turned to Sasuke who looked up at me with round, dark eyes.

"You're lucky he disappeared faster than I could think of throwing you at him, you snot." I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed and promptly smacked the center of my face with his hand, probably to try to touch my tongue. He was still poorly coordinated; not surprising since he's not even a year old anymore.

"Ugh. Let's get you downstairs."

So I did take him downstairs, somehow keeping his hands off of me.

"Mikoto-samaaaa!" I called from the stairs. "Can I put Sasuke in his prison!?"

Mikoto laughed at me.

"It's not a prison, Yuzuha-chan!" She called back, but we both knew it was funny. "Drag it into the kitchen!"

I sighed and reached the bottom of the stairs. Hopefully it was in the "shogi room" where I played with Fugaku that first time…and every other time since then. I crossed the huge lobby and past the doorway into that room, Sasuke babbling and blowing drool-bubbles next to my face.

"I don't care what you do to my face, kid, but you better keep your fluids off of this kimono."

"Zuzu…efnne ajheb beds sasa kuu!"

I looked down at him, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You're trying to talk, huh? Keep trying, kid. You're almost there but it still isn't good enough."

"Abdeei baa! Ba chasa!"

"Uh huh, okay."

I found his prison.

"Watch this one, brat." I smirked and put one hand into the tiger sign, and then created a clone. Poof! Yuzuha #2 appeared and grinned at Sasuke who laughed and smacked my chest twice while trying to clap his hands.

"Move the prison into the kitchen." I commanded. Yuzuha #2 nodded and slid the baby prison across the floor on its felt feet and into the kitchen. When my clone poofed away Mikoto turned away from rolling dough on the counter like some sort of super-woman; seriously I don't know how, but she can do it all. She grinned at me brightly.

"Aw, Yuzuha-chan! You're going to be such a great mom one day! Ne, I wonder… you think your children will have red hair, or black?" She giggled to herself as she turned around.

lDflkflknerjvefkjvkfdvdhlk! See! Did you see that!? She's _insinuating_!

"E…eh? Well… I don't think I'll have any children…" I trailed off, trying to ignore the fact that she's imagining me with dark-haired children… probably with Uchiha fans on their backs… I placed Sasuke in his prison and watched as he crawled over to his favorite green dinosaur and started to play with it.

"Eh? You don't want children?" She asked as I climbed up on one of the barstools in front of the island and began to pick at a bowl of fruit I already knew she made for me.

"Not really. They're a lot of hard work." I replied. "Look what Sasu-chan did to my hair." I glowered as I motioned towards the left side of my head. What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, Mikoto-sama, but I have to stop your ancestor form destroying life as we know it, _plus_ there's going to be a world war later, so I won't have time for kids, maybe next time?" Yeah, I don't think so.

Mikoto giggled, putting the back of her hand near her mouth.

"Aw, poor Yuzuha-chan. Don't worry, you'll change your mind later."

And she went back to humming to herself as she continued rolling the dough for whatever pastries she was going to quickly whip up for the guests.

* * *

The actual party sucked, just like Itachi made it seem it would. Shisui wasn't there to cause trouble, since he was on a mission, so that immediately cut all entertainment out of the picture, and most of the children of the moneymakers of the clan weren't enrolled in the academy and didn't seem like they'd have anything to do with the shinobi arts anytime soon.

In other words, they were boring.

One kid was even reading a book on law under the shade of a huge tree in Mikoto's backyard. Most of the boys, save the two that were talking to Itachi about the academy, talked amongst themselves about their futures as lawyers, investors, bankers and other important, probably-corrupt, political-system people. I overheard one kid saying his dad was teaching him finance so he could become the daimyo's treasurer one day.

Are you fucking kidding me?

"I heard you have the sharingan, Itachi-sama! Can we see it!?" One of the boys excitedly asked.

His request was obnoxiously rude, but he didn't seem to realize it. I couldn't get mad at him, though, because he was genuinely excited. His large, brown eyes were wide and shiny, and his smile could compete with Sasuke's. A slight breeze tossed his short hair around as Itachi, dressed in a dark kimono fit enough for a funeral instead of a birthday party, contemplated whether or not he should show the boy and his friend what he could do.

The boy's friend, shorter than himself, had neatly trimmed light brown hair and gold-brown eyes. He too was excited though he wasn't vocal about it.

I didn't like them pressuring him.

"You guys are rude." I spoke bluntly. To hell with politics. I don't care if their parents dislike me 'cause their kids are salty about the truth being ugly.

"Oh! Sorry. We didn't mean it!" The quieter boy replied, worry in his eyes. "It's just that our otou-san is teaching us ninjutsu and…well…" He trailed off.

So they're brothers. The younger brother is more polite though. He has his head on straight.

"Well, it would help if you guys introduced yourselves first, you know." I grumbled.

"Oh! Well, I'm Uchiha Satori." The older one grinned.

"And I'm Uchiha Kaoru." The younger one stated. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Uzumaki-san."

"Oh, so I'm famous now, huh?" I grinned. I didn't know they knew me.

"Well yeah, you only stick out like a sore thumb in the compound!" Satori chuckled. "So do we get to see it or not?"

"Satori nii-san…" Kaoru mumbled, displeased with his brother's brash attitude.

Itachi sighed, but closed his eyes. He mouthed "sharingan" to focus his intent and when he opened them they were red, the usual two tomoe spinning lazily into place. Both brothers gaped, sticking their faces closer to Itachi who moved his head back a bit to keep his personal space intact.

"How cool…" Kaoru whispered to himself.

"That's _awesome_! I wish mine would show up already!" Satori clenched his fists excitedly.

"No you don't." Both Itachi and I replied in unison.

Hah, he owes me a soda. He gave me a small smile, but turned to the boys with a serious expression.

"The sharingan isn't a world wonder to amaze others with. It takes unbelievable circumstances to have it activate, if it activates at all. Believe me when I say you are most likely better off without it." He explained.

Just as the older brother was about to dispute Itachi's claim, a girl our age came up to us so gracefully she seemed to float. She was dressed in a remarkable blue and gold summer kimono with an obi decorated with an orange and gold pattern that mimicked a koi fish's scales. She had beautiful, dark waves as black as Itachi's, cascading around her small, oval face and flowing down to her little shoulders and elbows. She had her bangs pinned back with one blue and gold pin and managed to look tasteful without an elaborate up-do. Her eyes were huge and deep-brown, framed with soft, long lashes. She would never, _ever_ need mascara.

"Excuse me."

Her voice was feminine and hushed. She bowed respectfully and the two brothers parted, letting her through the small barrier they built around Itachi and me.

"Utau-san." Itachi kindly nodded his head in greeting. Utau blushed.

"I thought it would be polite to introduce myself to my classmate, however, it seems you already know of me." She replied.

"Your father is quite prestigious, Utau-san, I would hate to offend him by not acknowledging his family members."

"Ah, I see… Well, Itachi-kun, it is a pleasure to officially meet you." She smiled and I swear her face would make God's heart break. She looked sweet, but I sensed her detest of me. She wasn't talking to me for a reason.

"Anno… Utau-chan, your otou-san is finally letting you into the academy? Are you sure you want to go there?" kaoru asked.

"I've met his requirements, Kaoru-kun. Hopefully, I will pass the graduation exam this coming fall with Itachi-kun, ne?" She smiled, tilted her head and looked at Itachi for confirmation.

Say. Fucking. _What_!? What do you _mean_ "graduation exam this coming fall!?" That's in three fucking months! I thought Itachi graduated at _eight_! Not seven!

Where did I go wrong!? This is bad! Bad bad _bad_! I didn't plan for this! Did I have my information mixed up? Was it seven or eight? Maybe eight was when he mastered the sharingan?

AAAAAGH! Say no, Itachi! Don't agree with her! Correct her! She's _wrong_!

"Mn."

NOOOOOOOOOOO! POR QUEEEEE!?

"Wait, what? We're graduating this fall?" I asked. Finally Utau looked directly at me.

"Well, if we pass the test, then yes. Seia-sensei hasn't mentioned it yet, but around September, the test applications will be passed out to the elite classes." Itachi explained.

That's right, only the _elite_ classes will be taking them. Speaking of which, this little china doll is an elite? I looked Utau over very quickly before responding to Itachi. She was super incognito about her skills, but looking at her little fingertips, just barely exposed by her sleeves, I noticed her skin was a little rougher and dryer. Her nails were perfectly manicured and matched her kimono, but the little bit of dryness and hardness around her cuticles and on her finger-pads was visible.

She's a shinobi, alright.

"Uh huh… Well, I guess I'll be taking it with you guys, then."

 _It's too soon…_

"I heard you _just_ entered the academy, Uzumaki Yuzuha, is it? Will they let you take the test under such circumstances?" Utau asked, almost mockingly. _Almost_ but that condescending tone was still there…

 _This bitch_ …! My "New York" was about to come out, but I plastered a smile onto my face and tried to keep my cool.

"What do you mean? I've been there longer than you will be." I replied, keeping my hate curled up in a little ball. It's not time to release that ball just yet.

"Your observations are correct, however, you haven't received any special training, have you? My family is affluent enough to afford private lessons equivalent, if not _superior_ to the academy's program, which begs the question… is a few months enough time for a newcomer to become an official shinobi?"

Well, bitch, I get lessons from the fucking _hokage_. You can suck my dick! But I'm not going to tell you that just yet… You'll get what's coming to you in due time… Just you wait!

I opened my mouth to say something smart, but Itachi interrupted me.

"Yuzuha is as talented as any student in our class." He smiled. "I think you'll have a lot of fun sparring with her, Utau-san."

Score one for Itachi! Yes! Did you see that? _Hah_! He even challenged her to fight me. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Utau's eyes flickered from him to me for just a second, before she smiled sweetly and nodded.

"Just Utau, ne?" She corrected, cutely, and Itachi nodded.

She bowed again.

"Well, then, I'll be taking my leave. I wish you a very happy birthday, Itachi-kun."

"Arigato." Itachi smiled.

"Until next time, Kaoru-kun, Satori-kun!" She smiled at the brother, turned around and gracefully floated away to join a group of girls having tea at a table and _eating my fucking riceballs_.

"Oi, Kaoru, look! Eiji and Jun are playing hide and seek, let's go! You guys wanna come?" Satori turned to us, not taking a single breath in between his sentences. Itachi blinked at him for a moment, but then smile and shook his head.

"No thank you, I'm happy here."

The brothers looked to me, but I quietly shook my head.

"Alright, see you guys later! Come _on_ Kaoru they're about to pick the seeker!" He grabbed his brother his his kimono sleeve and began to pull him along.

"Ja-ne!" Kaoru waved awkwardly. We waved back and watched him stumble and almost fall behind Satori.

"Your riceballs were delicious." Itachi turned to me with a smile. My eyes widened and then I smiled.

"I didn't tell you I made them yet! That was supposed to be a surprise! How did you figure it out?"

He smirked.

"You are the only person who would make a separate batch of _square_ rice balls…" He explained. I snorted back and laughed.

"So you found my clue, huh? Well, I'm glad they're good. You can thank your kaa-chan. I would've been lost without her."

"That's what you were doing here so early."

"Yeah, exactly."

"I see. Did you make the pastries too?"

"No, your mom made everything else. I only helped her here and there. I didn't want to mess anything up."

Itachi shook his head.

"You learn really well. I don't think you would've messed anything up."

"Eh, I don't know about that…"

You weren't there when I burned my scrambled eggs the one time, Itachi… or the time I burned the rice… or the time I undercooked the vegetables… or all the other times I fucked up…

"Are they going to bring out the cake anytime soon?" I asked.

"Towards the end."

"Great. Cookies it is, then. Let's go." And I dragged him off like Satori dragged Kaoru towards the snacks table.

I spent the rest of the time at the party observing and shadowing Itachi as he interacted with the rich kids of his clan. Information-gathering never bores me, especially if it's something I know I need to know, thus the time passed quickly.

I learned a little bit about the Uchiha police force, too, thanks to a particularly prideful little kid by the name of Tokka. The police force was funded by the daimyo, but governed by the clan head. From least to greatest its ranks are:

Nittohei- Like an initiate/foot soldier. There aren't many of those in the clan. Usually, the guys that join move up from this rank pretty quickly.

Ittohei- A more experienced officer, just a notch above the inexperienced initiate.

Jotohei –the first real position of power. This person's authority pretty much came into play in emergencies and stupid shit like making sure everyone's arm bands were on straight when the higher ups weren't looking.

Heicho- Leader of a small team

Socho-More responsibilities/trust/leadership

Rikugun-Taisa- Our equivalent of a colonel

Rikugun-Taisho- Like a general- can lead larger groups and do official paperwork.

Daigensui-Rikugun-Taisho- The head honcho/ Grand Marshall General AKA Fugaku.

A lot of the men of the clan who didn't fight were exceptional lawyers. Having control of a private military, basically— "police force" is a total downplay of the structure of the force if you ask me— and also having a say in local law where you can defend or fight against a person is a lot of power to have. The hokage might have the executive power, yes, but if you look at the situation, the Uchiha were the ones who really ran things, village-wise. The civilians, who are a major part of the village, if not the financial back-bone, are under their thumb.

That being said, I think it's a little ridiculous for them to want to take control over the regular forces, or rather, what they tried to do in cannon. Should the Uchiha sit in on council meetings? Absolutely. Each clan head should. But should they have control and say over these council meetings? Absolutely not.

I see where the conflict is.

There is a lot of pride here that _does_ need to be swallowed, and honestly, I don't believe Fugaku was the sole, driving force of the Uchiha. He's just the clan head. He _has_ to listen to these assholes to keep the entire clan at peace. _Plus_ he has to run the force _and_ be a father and husband…

No _wonder_ he caved and devised a coup-d'état. Even now, the poor man was being pressured. Some guy in a nice men's kimono broached the subject of the hokage and another started talking about how unfair it is to be tied down to the police force like "a dog in its doghouse." Of course, Fugaku reminded them that there is a time and place for conversations like that, and I think that was when I overheard the birth of the "secret meetings" under the Naka Shrine.

Shit is getting real. _This_ is where the plotting started. _One_ conversation, silenced and tabooed, hastened the downwards spiral.

And the worst part?

Fugaku's under-eye bags just got bigger. These people, who invested money into the clan, were power-hungry and didn't understand the game, or the fire they were playing with. But Fugaku can't help it, now can he? His clan is being accused and ostracized and now that it's been pushed to the edge of the village to fend for itself— since less and less citizens were accepting of their presence or business— he needed these assholes to help keep shit running.

I can see how little by little the Uchiha became a standalone entity within the village walls. That coldness led to more animosity, which led to more hatred, which led to the inevitable.

…And it all started with these people sinking their teeth into power and politics.

Bastards.

That afternoon, I threw so many kunai and shuriken into the bull's eyes of the targets of the training grounds that Itachi thought I was trying to set some sort of a record. I _have_ to train harder; improve faster.

 _No time_.

There's no time and _failure is not an option_.

* * *

Well, finally I was able to post this. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

 **ATTENTION ALL ARTISTS!**

If you draw me some pictures of this fanfiction, I'll make an OC based off of you! Let me know what you think!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto ™ ® I wish I did though. If I owned any anime, I would have a fanfiction contest. The best fanfiction would make it into an official omake. Lol


	9. Three-Man-Cell

How Uzumaki Yuxuha Ruined Naruto

|9|

* * *

"Try it again." Jiji spoke in a serious tone. Ever since I busted through his office door asking about graduation after Itachi's birthday party, he's been cracking down on our training. Like, our nice comfortable studying/fuinjutsu type of training did a one-eighty and suddenly turned into the light-the-fire-under-your-ass kind of training where I wondered at the end of each night if I'd be able to move the next morning. In other words, the _best_ kind of training that my crazy ass actually likes. No pain, no gain.

You know, in life, well, in other-life, I liked running. I had tattoos too, and waxed every part of my body, courtesy of one of the last job I worked before those fuzzy socks murdered me. Most people considered those things as pains they could never go through or deal with. I always got some form of a high when I did them, though. Maybe it was the years of abuse in my childhood, but I had a crazy pain tolerance and for the most part, it was worth having. I looked and felt like a total badass. Nothing makes you feel more accomplished than completing a mile-run in eight minutes, or curling that twenty-pound weight the amount of times you wanted to without giving up.

Anyway, that's enough of "story-time with Yuzuha" for now.

With Itachi and Fugaku's help, I learned that my chakra nature was water, instead of fire like I kind of hoped it'd be. So I begged Jiji to teach me a fire jutsu anyway, because I'm Yuzuha and I want what I want and I wanted to fry people… and yes, cheesily like a firebender… or like Natsu, except I'd actually kill people, unfortunately. Besides, in cannon Itachi was so graceful with his fire jutsu. I strived to achieve that kind of murderous beauty.

Jiji said he'd teach me water jutsu; no "but"s.

…I guess I can settle for waterbending. With any hope wind will be my secondary element, or whatever and I can try to make ice a thing, even though that probably won't happen. But who knows? They say you can't squeeze water from a rock, _but_ you can use a rock to make a belowground still and collect water so long as you have the proper tools and brains to do it.

Thus, don't fuck with me because I always find a way. Everything is possible.

Anyway, I agreed to his rules, of course, and he finally took us out of the office and to a calm part of the Naka River, which made me nervous, because as far as I knew, he was never out of the office in cannon. Who knows what the hell can happen if he doesn't stamp some papers at the right time like he did in canon? Besides, _hello_ it's not exactly smart to have Dunce-Cap-Danzo running freely throughout the hokage office, you know. He might fuck _more_ shit up if he's not watched.

Anyway, we were going to start with the suiton: suishio. Water shockwave. It's basically like waterbending. You pull a vortex of water out of a lake, puddle, whatever— _or_ just make one with your chakra, but I'm not there yet—and slam it into someone. But here's the kicker: you can manipulate the water however you want. You want razor sharp flesh-and-bone slicers? Go ahead, make 'em. 'Great jutsu to have on hand. Jiji told me it was one of the earliest water jutsu that the niidaime—rest his douchey soul— came up with. If you ask me, he was going a little big teaching me that, but the technique didn't require me to make water with my chakra and it's destructive, so whatever. Go big or go home, right? I'll take what I can get. I'll be more than happy to become the super-soldier he apparently wants me to be. It's funny, maybe he and I click so well because we both have our plans. Maybe his ideas and strategies aren't too different from mine. Either way, those strategies both need me to be a force to be reckoned with.

The water in the river next to us was rushing like crazy and I couldn't control it. It was violent compared to the smooth and steady flow of my chakra. As I stood there and frowned at my failure, losing patience with myself, a couple of hawks flew across the clear, sunny sky and caught jiji's attention. I frowned, exhausted and breathing heavily in my red shorts and navy t-shirt. If that means trouble, then he should be going to take care of it.

"Do you have to go?" I asked.

 _Don't let Danzo screw things up, Jiji._

"No I have someone to take care of things like that for now."

Danzo, probably. Of course it's Danzo; my sworn enemy. That's just the way the universe works; just like when it pitted—and is probably still pitting— Naruto and Sasuke against each other. It's only fitting that right now, it's me vs. Danzo.

"Jiji…" I protested.

"No excuses. If you're going into the field in a few months, you must be ready. We are at war, Yuzuha-chan." He reminded me. I gave him one, hard look. He was right. As much as I didn't want someone diabolical stamping his papers, I needed to get stronger.

"Okay…"

"Sense the water's essence and life. When you focus, you will realize that it is just as alive as any other person." He got right back on track, and placed his hands behind his back, still puffing away at his pipe while birds chirped in the background.

"Okay."

"Then reach out and encompass it."

Easier said than done.

"Can I sit so I can focus better?"

"You will not be seated in battle. You can do this."

He's as much of a hardass as Shisui when it comes to training. Last weekend was the first time I fought against jiji hand-to-hand. He admitted I was good but he wiped the floor with me. I didn't last fifteen seconds. I was used to defending against the academy and Uchiha styles of taijutsu. Jiji knew a lot of different styles and wanted to familiarize me with at least one from each of the great countries.

My training sessions with Shisui and Itachi cut more than just in half and Mikoto-sama began to worry when I fell asleep at the table during my early-morning games with Fugaku.

Sasuke didn't like me gone either. Last I saw him, he was scolding me in his little baby language, spitting at me accidentally in his haste and vigor, waving his fists around like the spoiled brat he is. His birthday was coming up soon, and thankfully Jiji was going to let me off that day to celebrate. As far as I knew, no one made plans for my birthday, just a week after chibi-sasu-chan's, so that day was going to be spent working hard as well, which is fine by me.

I narrowed my focus on the river. In my mind, its energy was a monster, and I felt about equivalent to a mouse. But I was a stubborn mouse, damn it, and that river was going to listen to me!

I threw my chakra at it, but I was too violent. I couldn't blend it with the water. Then, incrementally I took it down notch after notch until it flowed and rushed in tandem with the beast.

Okay. Breathe, Yuzuha. You can do this. This isn't the hardest thing you're going to face in this life.

Once I had the frequency of my chakra synced with the flow of water, I tensed and _pulled._ I felt some the water lifting and separating from the river, becoming an extension of my body. I kept on cycling my chakra through the heavy substance. It was like flexing a muscle or putting more effort into lifting a particularly heavy weight, and like an unconditioned muscle, my chakra began to quiver and spin faster to make up for itself, slowly separating itself from the balance it had initially been in with the water.

 _No!_ I won't lose it this time! I took a deep breath and forced my chakra to calm down and return to the "flow". My head began to hurt. Have you even had tension in your neck and shoulders? Well, there was a tension in my core where my chakra usually was that felt similar.

I gave out after another few seconds, dropped the water, and then placed my hands on my knees and breathed in and out deeply.

"You're lifting it further out each time you try. You're progressing faster than most who have learned this technique. Do _not_ give up."

He pointed to the river bank and I grinned, because the grass was soggy with small mud-puddles here and there. Apparently, I lifted a lot of water out, too.

"Alright!" I straightened out, clenched both of my fists and smirked. It wasn't perfect but it was on its way there.

* * *

"Yuzuha-chan? Are you okay?"

My head was a little fuzzy but I nodded, keeping my eyes on the salmon and sweat-pea-rice mix on the blue and white plate in front of me.

"Hai Mikoto-sama…" I tiredly replied.

The meal blurred a little bit as tears came to my eyes; it was rude to yawn at the dinner table so I had to hold the evidence of my exhaustion back. I had been practicing water jutsu all day, since tomorrow was Sasuke's birthday, my only day off, and Jiji wanted to make up a little bit for lost time. Tonight, I decided to join the Uchiha family for dinner even though I was really tired from practicing fuinjutsu right before trying not to get my ass kicked by Kumo's taijutsu style. I had every reason to shamelessly and understandably refuse the invitation that Itachi extended to me from his parents, but who in hell would actually refuse a dinner invitation from the head of the Uchiha clan and his wife?

Yeah, I can't come up with anyone in my position that would, either.

I feel the way I did when I first woke up from death in this world.

I felt two hands gently press themselves on my shoulders and jumped. If I didn't sense absolute peace, love and safety in my vicinity I would have attacked on instinct, just because that's how out of it I was; that's how intense the training is.

"Eh?" I looked up and Mikoto's pretty eyebrows were pinched together. She looked like she didn't know where to start, confused and uncertain of what to say.

I frowned. "I'm so sorry, Mikoto-sama. I wanted to see you all, so I couldn't refuse the invitation, but I'm so tired." Respectfully, I turned to Fugaku and bowed as low as I could without getting my growing hair into the fish in front of me. "Gomenasai." I apologized. My behavior was very rude no matter which way you look at it.

Fugaku shook his head. "It isn't your fault. You shouldn't push yourself so much in your training routine."

I frowned. "Even if I could help it, Fugaku-sama, I would still push myself as far as I could." I replied. I don't lie any more than I have to.

"Hm." It was a laugh and he wore a smirk of approval. 'Figures his crazy ass would appreciate effort like that.

"Come on, why don't you finish what you can of your dinner and head upstairs? You can take the guest bedroom tonight." Mikoto offered sweetly.

Wha— _hell no_! Is she _trying_ to get the council on her ass!? I blinked up at her for a moment, but she was _dead serious_.

"Ah, no thank you. I appreciate the offer, though!" I smiled and blushed, embarrassed. My heart was starting to pound. This is _bad_.

" _Nonsense_." She smiled her too-sweet smile, the one she gave when someone was going to listen to her no matter _what_ she had to do. "It's Sasuke-chan's birthday tomorrow. You said hokage-sama was going to hold your training for just one day."

"Umm…well... yeah, but I couldn't—

"Great! The room is already prepared for you!" She ran me over and giggled. "Poor Yuzuha-chan, what did you put yourself through today?" She asked as she straightened up to go back to her seat.

You gotta admit, she was good at diversions. There was no way I could argue no—

"Mikoto." It was one word from Fugaku, but it silenced the room as if God himself had spoken. The couple stared at each other hard.

I knew that look. I could relate to the moment, too. Anytime Tommy and I had to make a hard decision, this is what it was like. There was silent communication happening between the two, and my heart ached as I remembered Tommy's gorgeous brown eyes staring into mine that way. Sure, there was an issue and we had to work it out, but that look meant that there would be communication and a resolution.

"Please excuse us for a moment, Yuzuha-chan, Itachi. I'm sure you understand." Fugaku finally spoke.

I turned just as serious as the adults and nodded. I _more_ than understood. Sasuke babbled in his prison and chewed on his dinosaur as the couple stepped out into the hallway. Itachi and I met gazes across the table.

His eyes were too mature for a seven-year-old. He understood what was going on too. It would arouse _way_ too much suspicion if I ended up staying over at the compound. The elders could rave, foaming at their winkled mouths, and claim that the Uchiha are brainwashing me. The only thing keeping them out of suspicion right now is probably the fact that Jiji took me on as his apprentice. If I wasn't spending so much time at his side, I'd be under suspicion, too.

It would be a political nightmare if I stayed here, because that small amount of trust and security that they have thanks to my bond with Hiruzen would be shattered.

Sasuke laughed and…

…and I almost cried.

Because the look on Itachi's face spoke volumes. He looked disheartened and sad. And what's worse is that he's just as useless as I am right now. We're fucking seven years old and we can't do anything about a situation we _know_ is bad. It's like being stuck in a nightmare. You're shit outta luck till you wake up.

Maybe that's why he climbed the ranks so high. Did situations like this push him to attain more responsibilities, faster?

Mikoto came back into the kitchen. She seemed fine, but she _wasn't_. I felt the angry and frustrated emotions of injustice churn inside her. She wore a flawless smile, but her biceps beneath the sleeves of her dress were just a hair too tensed. She sat back down at the table and just then Fugaku waved me over, leaning against the wall separating the dining room from the rest of the house.

"Excuse me." I pushed my chair out, and then pushed my body to move forward. This was going to be a heavy conversation. I reached him and he turned his back. He led us into the shogi room, sat on the red cushion in front of the low table—his usual spot during our games— and waved a hand at what became _my_ purple pillow.

"I think you have an idea of what is going on…" He began and then sighed right as he ran a hand across the back of his neck.

"I know." I replied simply as I looked at my hands in my lap. "It's why I try not to stay for too long. I don't like causing trouble, because I really like you, Mikoto-sama, and Itachi and Sasu-chan and Shisui." I tried to be as childish about it as possible. I wanted him to think that I didn't completely understand, only because it would be suspicious if I did.

…

There was a pause that made the air feel like lead. He didn't speak, and I was tired of being nervous about what he might think about me being a little _too_ adult, and spoke to fill the silence.

"One day, Fugaku-sama… I'm going to change the way things are." I brought my head up and looked at him with the fiercest eyes I could muster. "I don't know how… but I _will_! Failure is _not_ an option… _that_ is my nindo-ttebane!" I beat my fist against my chest and grinned with as much determination as I could in my exhausted state.

He gave me a smirk of approval.

"If only the rest of the village could see things your way…" He shook his head as if it were a shame, which it _is_ , and rose to his feet. "I like your drive, Yuzuha-chan. However, you look exhausted. I'll have Itachi walk you home."

"Eh!? Oh, it's not necessary, Fugaku-sama. I can make it there on my own. Besides, the police force is always on duty, so I'm sure everything will be fine." I smiled, throwing in a complement so I can get my way. I didn't want to put any more burdens on his shoulders and Itachi was tired from his own training. The kids needs rest. The bags under his eyes are getting bigger.

"Everything will be even _more_ fine with us at your side, though, ne _Yuzu_?" I turned my head, a little late because I sensed him faster than I could move, but I couldn't help grinning as I saw a disheveled Shisui in the doorway, with a surprised Itachi right behind him. The younger Uchiha was frozen with his arm out, as if he had been about to open the door before being interrupted by his cousin. The kid recovered and grinned along with me. It was always a pleasure to see Shisui. He was always smiling, though, he wasn't fooling me this time. His heart was aching and I couldn't tell why.

I _hoped_ it was because he got rejected or something.

"Go on, I'll have Mikoto pack—

"Already done." The perfect woman appeared behind the two boys, interrupting her husband. A small box tied up in a pretty cloth was balanced in her palms as if it were some sort of treasure chest. Shisui spun around and grinned at Mikoto.

"Yo Mikoto-baa!" He saluted. She chuckled and handed him the box… then gave him the iciest smile you could imagine.

"No detours on the way there, alright?" She warned sweetly, but I think everyone in the room felt the ice roll off of her tongue. I shivered as Shisui rubbed the back of his head and gave her a nervous smile.

"Of _course_ , why would we _ever_ stop anywhere? Eh heh-hehhh…."

Itachi had already gone into the hallway. I heard him putting his shoes on.

"You guys be careful." Fugaku warned.

"No worries. Thank you again!" I bowed to the lord of the house very respectfully and dipped out into the hallway. Mikoto held her arms out, and I grinned. Hell, why not give her a hug? _My_ mom was never this nice.

I squeezed her tightly around the middle and smiled as she squeezed me back. I felt warm and fuzzy and completely opposite of any way I had ever felt before. Is this the way a relationship is _supposed_ to be between a child and their caregiver/adult/parents?

After a few final goodbyes, an especially affectionate one to Sasuke, Itachi, Shisui and I were on our way, walking through the district. I was dragging ass, too tired to banter with Shisui as he peppered me with questions.

"Have you been practicing genjutsu? Did you manage to learn that explosive seal? You put on some muscle, I'm impressed, scrawny!"

Question after question. All I could do is grunt.

"She's tired, Shisui." Itachi murmured, mercifully defending me. Shisui only shot him a teasing smirk.

"No she's not, look, she's the picture of energy!" He reached around my head, grabbed the corners of my lips and pulled them upwards, cracking the skin where it's chapped.

"Oww! Leh-gooh!" I slurred through my forced expression. Shisui snorted and started to laugh. His fingers released my face and I released an annoyed sigh.

"Sorry, Shi, but hokage-sama has been putting me through hell."

Shisui's lips flattened into a thin line in my peripherals and Itachi mirrored his expression as we passed bustling shops, still thrumming with the life of night-owls, mostly dark-haired Uchiha with the occasional foreigners bantering about the price of handmade jewelry and other accessories.

"Why." His voice was quiet but commanding; the epitome of the chunin squad leader he is.

Itachi and I exchanged glances and I shook my head. I didn't want to be the one to fill Shisui with worry tonight. He just got back and I didn't want to be guilty for ruining his first night home.

"We graduate in September." Itachi stated. It was best to be blunt with Shisui. He understood the art of "beneath of the underneath", of course, but there was no necessity for speaking that way amongst ourselves in the relative safety of Konoha.

" _What_?"

For a while no one spoke. We gave Shisui time to process the news. The only sounds were the fading voices of the Uchiha near the compound walls and the muffled sounds of our footsteps against the smooth asphalt as we took the only road out of the district.

"Why so early? Are you two crazy?" He eventually asked, but there was no shock in his voice. The surprise had settled a minute ago and his tone was soft with sadness. He knew more than anyone what awaited us out there. What was worse is that since we're from the elite classes, we're going to skip D-ranks altogether. The government— jiji, basically— expects us to already know how to work together. We won't be coddled like team seven was in the beginning of the series.

"It's what the clan wants." Itachi replied.

"And I'm not about to let him go alone-ttebane." I supported in a determined tone.

"I have to talk to Fugaku-oji." Shisui muttered, clearly irritated. He never really got upset, and I felt bad that the news ruined his already shitty night further.

"It won't help. Otou-sama's hands are tied." Itachi shut down in his usual, steady manner, as if he were correcting Shisui that the sun rises in the east and not the west.

I sighed. Neither of us were ignorant as to what went down during Itachi's birthday "party." I saw Shisui's fists clench and put my hand on the one closest to me.

"We're ready." I assured. "Don't worry Fugaku-sama." I soothed and slipped my hand off of his when his fingers relaxed. I wish I didn't have to see the broken expression on his face, but when our eyes met he looked like a little boy standing in the middle of a burning battlefield, completely at a loss of what to do.

"A lot has been going on since I've been busy, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied. And then I smiled. "But it's good to have you back."

I turned my head forward when I saw a tiny smile grace his young face, and reach his aged, dark eyes.

"I'm on break for the next month, so I hope you guys are ready for me. By the time that test comes you might be too tired to take it." He grinned. I snorted and Itachi huffed a laugh. 'Figures Shisui would come up with some backwards scheme that makes sense when you think about it. Secretly, I hope we both do end up too tired to pass the test. It's a good excuse.

"Sorry, Grand Uchiha Council and all its members, we fell asleep in the middle of the taijutsu part and drooled all over the written portion; I hope you don't mind. We were so serious about passing that we failed. Oops. Maybe next time." Tch. I wish. Both Itachi and I have too much pride and determination to fail at anything.

I remember my horrible grades as a kid. I'm sure I mentioned it before but I was a shitty student, despite my intelligence. I was too concerned with my depression and other teenage life bullshit to really focus on school. I genuinely believed that I'd be dead soon after high school so nothing mattered anyway. I just managed to scrape by without going to summer school, just to keep my mom off of my ass.

Boy did life teach me a lesson. When I went back to college, a jack of all trades by the age of twenty three, I became a straight-A student. 'Honor Society and everything. Education is important, kiddies. Mom and/or dad aren't lying. Unfortunately, to survive the system, you have to play by its rules for some time. I'm kinda mad I never lived to see my bachelor's diploma in my hand. Fucking fuzzy socks. Death to them all.

That's not the point though.

What I mean is that ever since I went back to school, I was never bad at school again and this applies to the academy in this life, too. I'd rather prick my nailbeds than get a bad grade.

"How is it out there?" Itachi asked.

"…Bloody." Is all Shisui replied with. His eyes shone with hurt and anger and I knew something had gone terribly wrong. He had lost someone. His little Shisui-heart wasn't broken by a girl, but by a dead teammate or teammates. 'Fuckin' figures.

"My condolences." I murmured. I wasn't about to say "I'm sorry." No one suffering through a death wants to hear that. How does "I'm sorry" ever fix or make anyone feel better? It doesn't bring the dead back and it doesn't soothe the hole they left behind.

"It was unavoidable." Shisui whispered, a little bitterly and then shoved his hands in his pockets, composing himself. He wasn't done grieving. His break was given to him so he could grieve, not just so he could rest.

I wonder if this is the point at which he stumbled across his mangekyou in canon.

The rest of the walk was quiet until we reached my apartment complex. The Uchiha boys stopped in front of my sorry door and the three of us stood in silence beneath the flickering yellow light of the run down hallway.

"Thanks for getting me here, guys. I probably would have slept on a bench or something if you didn't." I grinned trying to lighten the mood. Shisui snorted.

"As if either of us would let that happen."

I put my hand over a small seal stitched into a crimson armband Mikoto bought for me. The key to the brass doorknob in front of my face popped into my open palm and I shoved it into the keyhole. Being gentle with this door would never work; that was just the way things were.

"Ne, Yuzu?" Shisui asked, cautiously. Whatever he was planning on doing, it wasn't thought out completely. I could tell it in his voice.

"Yeah?" I asked as the lock clicked open.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked, suddenly unsure of himself. I shrugged, being nonchalant. If I was calm, he'd be calm.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Itachi smiled at us both. I grinned at him and waved. He knew when he needed to exit and I was starting to wish he didn't decide to go so quickly. This coming conversation was about to be very serious and I was extremely tired.

"Make sure you're ready." I told him, reminding him of the puppet show we were going to put on for Sasuke.

"Don't forget to bring Naruto." He smiled back, lifting my spirits as usual. Itachi is as logical and intelligent as I am, but I have to say he takes every chance he gets to be optimistic.

I was genuinely excited for tomorrow. It would be Naruto's first time meeting Sasuke. This was the beginning of one of my many plans and I was excited to see it unfold. Hiruzen was letting me get away with a lot tomorrow, compared to the hell-month I've been having since the day after Itachi's birthday. It was a reward, though; for my hard work. I didn't ask him for weapons or clothes or anything. All I wanted was to spend a day with my loved ones and he made sure to make it happen. I think taking Naruto out was also a subtle birthday gift. I doubt I'll get anything else on the actual day; he pulls enough strings for me as it is.

With a responding nod on my part, I watched Itachi shunshin—something he's mastered by now, thanks to Fugaku— leaving Shisui and I in the deserted hallway, with nothing but the sound of angry, arguing cats filtering in through the thin window nearby from the street below.

Confidently, I walked through my door and into the small genkan of the run-down apartment and flicked on the light. Shyly, Shisui ghosted into my home, gently shutting the door behind him. I could feel the hesitation and nervousness in his chakra as we took off our shoes, so I busied myself with walking over to the stove and turning the flame up, and then filling up the old teapot with water. It would be easier for him to speak to me about whatever is bothering him if he doesn't have me directly staring at him.

"Something…" He trailed off, second-guessing himself one last time. I placed the teapot above the flame and stepped up on my little stool so I could reach the bottom of the worn, olive cabinet above the counter.

"Something happened… to me." He began and I knew exactly where this was going. The only question is, why is he telling _me_?

I took down two cups, and placed them on the counter, and then turned around, arms crossed.

"You kinda need to start from the top." I told him. Of course, I know _exactly_ what happened from top to bottom, but he doesn't know I know. I _always_ have to put on a show in situations like this. _Always_. It's never good for anyone, trusted or not, to know about how much you know.

He bit his bottom lip, regretting ever saying anything but I simply raised my brow. He sighed, knowing it was too late to turn back now and pulled a chair out from beneath the square kitchen table in the corner. Steadily, he eased himself into the chair. I walked over and took the seat across from him.

"My teammate died… and I don't think I'm okay. I don't think I'm going to be okay from here on out." He looked sad as he studied the wood of the table.

Get to the point Shisui.

"When it happened… when I saw the Iwa nin…" he swallowed, "do what he did… something happened to my eyes. I lost control."

For a minute I just looked at him until his eyes met mine.

"Show me." I finally spoke. "It has to do with your sharingan, right?"

Grimly, he nodded.

"Here it goes…" He shut his eyes and whispered just beneath his breath, " _Sharingan…_ " He opened his eyes, but the three tomoe spun further than usual and began to morph into his mangekyou, something so spectacular in person, you have no idea. The light was dim in the kitchen, and his eyes seemed so bright, but dangerous even though he wasn't wearing a menacing expression. I couldn't help but stare in awe. The red was so vibrant and shiny and the arms of the pinwheels were _so_ straight.

"What is that?" I asked, sticking to my act.

He shrugged. Aha, he hasn't looked into it yet.

I smirked. "It looks cool."

He shot me a glare.

"You know it's dangerous, right? Right now I see your chakra and every one of your breaths seems to come early to me. I see you breathing and blinking before you do, even more so than usual with my eyes… _regular_ I guess." He explained heatedly. He wasn't in the mood for jokes, for once. He felt like a freak and I knew how he felt.

I shrugged, though, because it would be disrespectful to feel sorry for him or for myself.

"Does anyone else know about it?" I asked. Here's where the digging for information began. What are his plans with it from this point on?

He shook his head, also grimly. The only witnesses are obviously dead by now. " _I lost control_." 'Figures he slaughtered them; I don't blame him.

Anyway, _here_ is where I turn this story around.

"Don't tell anyone. Don't put it in your report." I instructed.

He looked confused, as if he didn't understand why he should hide it from his superiors.

"What?" He blinked, and when he realized I was completely serious, he looked appalled. "Yuzu, it's _wrong_ to omit details."

Not in this case, Shisui, trust me. The tiniest bit of unhappiness in his face made him look like a killer, with his eyes like that. I sighed, and stood up just as the teapot began to protest. He didn't dare speak as I made and poured tea for both of us.

How on earth do I convince him to keep his abilities on the low? He's a good shinobi; I'll give him that. He's willing to reveal anything to his superiors for the good of the village. But he doesn't know what his superiors are capable of. He's not thinking of politics and how much he should be distrusting his government. I sighed again and placed the steaming cups of green tea on the table, making eye contact with him. He still looked offended that I'd suggest going around the authorities.

"Listen, you don't have to take my word for it, but if I were in your shoes, Shisui, I would keep my mouth shut and wait until I discover what that version of the sharingan can do. Only then I might say something about it and even that is a heavy 'maybe'." I explained as I placed his cup of tea across from mine and took my seat, holding back another yawn.

"Do you distrust Konoha?" He asked, almost as if he were hurt. "Do you distrust hokage-sama, your own mentor?"

"Of course not!" I snapped, and slammed my palm against the table; truly angry with him for once. "Jiji is _my_ Jiji. He's a good person and he cares about peace. He cares about the village. But…" I bit my lip and pretended like I was conflicted about something. Time to put my acting skills to the test. Thankfully, just as I began to put on my show, Shisui tired out and his eyes faded to black. He gently massaged his eyeballs through his lids with the tips of his fingers and then turned all of his attention on me.

"But?" He prodded, the definition of "tense".

"But I don't like the way that Danzo guy feels." I revealed and exhaled, as if it was a big relief to tell someone my feelings. His expression softened at the burden he thought I was holding and I knew I had him.

Hook, line and sinker. Sorry, Shi…

"He just seems dark." I continued. "He's mad at Jiji and I _know_ he works on the missions with Jiji sometimes. What if he turns you into some sort of experiment or something? What if he sees your mission report and starts poking around in your eyes?" I explained.

But it wasn't enough.

"Well, if he's really your concern, then what if he helps me figure out what it is? Not everyone is as bad as you might 'feel' they are. Maybe he's just had a hard life, did you think of that?"

No, because I know better.

He was countering me as gently as he could. We weren't happy with each other right now, but he had enough sense to try to be as un-argumentative as possible in his tone. Even so, I could feel the denial in his chakra. He was angry with what happened and angry that he doesn't know what is "wrong" with him. He's even angrier that I'm telling him to not seek professional help, which I'll admit, he _needs_.

"I trust what someone's chakra tells me." I stated. "I'm not trying to convince you to do anything," That's a lie. A total lie. "I just want you to really think about this from all angles. What if you have some secret ability or something that hasn't been seen in hundreds of years? They're going to treat you the way they treat me; like a _freak_ , and not a human. I don't want that to happen to you."

The water in my eyes, for once, wasn't fake. My exhaustion was getting the better of me and my frustration and need to change the way things happen aren't helping. Furthermore, I don't want him to die when he's older.

How sick would it be if no one knew about his mangekyou? It could be his secret weapon. It could stop the massacre in its tracks, or at least help postpone or derail it or _something_. So long as no one else knows, of course. If it means with fucking with Danzo's plans enough to thwart at least _one_ death I'll tell all the lies and manipulate as much as I have to. Shisui isn't dying and above all, Itachi isn't going to murder his fucking family and die of illness. Sasuke is going to stay as a happy little brat and Naruto…

Naruto…

No one is going to cause my baby brother hardship… _no one_. Well, no one but me of course; an older sibling has her duties, too, after all.

Anyway, if the massacre happens, Sanno will cease to exist, along with Shuu, Kina-san, Fugaku, Mikoto, and countless others who have been nice to me, who haven't judged me, who have been patient with the village despite the bullshit happening around them that they have no control over or say in.

It isn't fair and it all started here. Right at this point in time.

I don't want the people I care for to die. As for the fuckers who started this whole thing, they can rot in hell for all I care; those lawyers and investors and accountants and all that.

A dark thought crept into my mind…

What if I kill them all in their sleep?

If their money wasn't an obvious necessity, I'd do it. If they die off now, the Uchiha will spiral into bankruptcy and we can't have that just as much as we can't have a coup d'état. Though… I won't completely toss that idea out just yet. If all else fails… it's a good backup.

"Yuzu…" He breathed, cheeks pink and speechless. I have never cried in front of him. Stupid kid. I wiped my tears on my arm and sucked the mucus back into my sinuses with a sniffle. He stood up and I let him walk over to me and take me by my tiny shoulders.

"If you think it's a bad choice, then I'll listen." Then he looked away for a second, embarrassed. "I'm sorry I doubted your sensory skills."

I shook my head in forgiveness. Got 'em.

Heh, so _tears_ get to him, huh? I'll have to remember that for later. Whatever. The important thing is that I changed his mind.

"But this _has_ to stay between us." He warned, seriously and squeezed my shoulders. " _I trust you_." I stared at him, genuinely surprised.

It was very strange, hearing _I trust you_ for the first time after lying so many times. I hope I never have to reveal who I am to either him or Itachi before I die in this world. I already have an idea as to how I might go out, of course, and hopefully, I can die without them knowing who I really am. It might just break their minds knowing that they trusted a liar with good intentions.

I nodded fiercely and then, finally got to the question that has been sitting on my mind this entire time…

"Why did you tell me?" I asked quietly as he let me go and moved back to his seat to drink the tea I made. He looked somber as he closed his weary eyes and sighed.

"I considered telling Itachi, honestly. I wasn't going to say anything to you. But I thought about it some and realized that I didn't want to burden Itachi any more than he already is. The clan is getting… out of hand, and the pressure is all on him. He's the future head, and he's got the talent to back it up. They want to know that he's loyal, and right now, he doesn't have anything protecting him from the choices everyone else is making for him. The last thing he needs is me worrying him." He paused for a moment. "But I guess that doesn't mean it's right to burden you with this all, huh?" He gave me a small apologetic smile and I shook my head.

"I see it happening. I _feel_ it happening. That's why I'm going to be there for him. It's why I'm not backing down from any challenge." I brought the conversation to a lighter topic.

Shisui gave me a charming smile.

"Then I guess we're partners in crime now." He declared, putting his fist on his chin and taking a sip of the tea. I snorted. I can see us as Bonnie and Clyde, I guess. I looked him over really well for the first time tonight. His clothes have rips in them, his hair is a wreck, his eyes are slightly puffy underneath—probably from crying on his way home— and his cheeks have sunken in. He lost weight and paled and his lip is fat in one corner of his mouth. How he managed to speak without some sort of a lisp is beyond me.

"Stay here tonight." I said, double checking my apartment and the rest of Konoha. It didn't _feel_ like anyone had either of us under surveillance so maybe it wouldn't hurt to have him stay over, just one night. "You don't look like you can make it back home." I reasoned.

He gave me a wide smile.

"I'm glad I met you, Yuzu." And with one last ear-to-ear grin, "Do you have a futon and a pen?"

He was going to write his official report tonight. Good thing I invited him to stay. I feel like a jealous girlfriend looking through her boyfriend's phone, but I'm going to have to peek at that report at some point to make sure he doesn't include the mangekyou thing in it.

Maybe I should just be upfront.

"Sure, if I can see you _not_ writing about what happened to your eyes." I replied cooly, with my arms crossed. He frowned, genuinely sad.

"Do you trust me as much as I trust you?" He asked, and I looked him over.

He was a genuine friend and person, though… he _did_ spy on Itachi in canon…

He's not above his orders, but… maybe that can be changed, hm? I let my arms sag and unravel and I nodded, putting on a fake, small smile that I hoped reached my tired eyes.

"Yeah… yeah I do, Shisui."

* * *

I expected my birthday to be a quiet affair, but it wasn't.

Imagine my face when I went to meet jiji in his backyard for our usual taijutsu training and found a whole picnic set up, complete with streamers hanging from tree branches throughout the open space, turning it into a neat square. A huge table was set up and a few familiar faces smiled at me.

The Uchiha family was present, Mikoto smiling ear-to-ear, along with Inoichi, his wife and little Ino. Naruto and Sasuke were already bashing each other with stuffed animals on a picnic blanket while baby Ino laughed at them and Shisui and Itachi were talking to each other at the table in front of a sprawling lunch. Jiji and the other adults sat at the wooden table, drinking sake and laughing.

"What's all this?" I asked, bewildered, garnering the attention of everyone present. My own family never did anything like this for my birthday, and I was genuinely surprised, for once, which was a true blue miracle since very little sneaks past me. Shisui was the first to greet me and in a flash he was in front of me, a small, blue gift box in his hand.

"Surprise! Happy birthday!" His grin was infectious and I grinned back as I took the small box from his hands.

"Who planned this?" I asked just as Mikoto came up and hugged me, Inoichi, his wife, jiji, Itachi and Fugaku on her heels.

"It was Shi-chan's idea, but I'm just as guilty." She smiled cutely. "Happy birthday, Yuzuha-chan!"

"Arigato…" I gratefully murmured into her midsection as I hugged her back on my tiptoes.

"Happy birthday, Yuzuha-chan." Inoichi congratulated when I let Mikoto go and then motioned towards his wife.

I went and tackled him into a hug too, fuck it, why not? Awkwardly, he hugged me back. Yes, my affection was strange to everyone.

"This is my wife Kanako." He said as I let him go.

Everything about Kanako was reserved. She wore a pretty, high-collared green dress that accentuated the browns of her hair and eyes and I could see older Ino in her face. Her hair was done half up and half down, flowing in gentle waves down her shoulder.

She was definitely apprehensive of me, and so, I did my thing. I grinned and stuck out my hand. She looked at it, and I _felt_ the stare Inoichi was giving her. To my senses, he may as well have shoved her towards me. Obviously they had a long discussion about how I'm not an explosive blood-stained bomb ready to go off and murder countless innocent people before they came here.

Slowly, she took my hand and I gently, but confidently shook hers. A small smile bloomed on her face and I felt the relief flood through her.

I just proved that I'm human. I'm not a killer. Today is off to a great start already. Maybe Dano will die in a horrific accident today, too.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She finally spoke and I dropped her hand.

"You as well." I replied as politely and cutely as possible.

"You should come open your gifts, Yuzuha-chan." Mikoto suggested with a wide and charming smile.

"It's wonderful to see you excited, Uchiha-san, but the other guests haven't arrived yet." Jiji disagreed, his usual pipe replaced with a sake cup in his hand. "You should put that gift on the table next to the others." He advised me with a crooked smile, and warm eyes. Shisui pouted from the corner of my eye, but I nodded and made my way over to the table, my entourage at my heels.

"I hope you like chocolate cake." Fugaku struck up a conversation as I placed the blue box next to the other colorful boxes at the edge of the picnic table.

"You guys made me a cake?" I questioned as I turned to him with wide eyes.

"No, Kanako-san did." Mikoto corrected and Fugaku nodded. "It's absolute beautiful! You're going to love it!"

"Ah, Mikoto-san… It's not that spectacular…" Kanako blushed and put one hand to a burning cheek. Mikoto just grinned at her.

"I'm happy I'm getting anything at all." I interrupted their fun and bowed very deeply to the entire group. "I am very grateful. Thank you _very much_."

Shisui clapped my back and I hissed in pain and straightened immediately.

"Ow! _Oi_ -ttebane!" I growled.

"Yeah, yeah! Let's go bet on the wrestling match, ne?" He grinned like a cat as he dodged a punch I threw at his face in revenge.

Jiji chuckled.

"I believe Sasuke-kun has the upper hand." He pointed at the blanket where Sasuke was basically spanking Naruto with his green dinosaur. My blonde brother was determinedly reaching for a block to use as a weapon and Ino was chewing on Sasuke's foot with her gums in an attempt to help Naruto. I snorted and the adults laughed.

"I think you guys need to go break up the fight." Fugaku advised, but I picked up on the double meaning. I've played enough games of shogi to recognize that small inflection in his tone. _You need to stay out of the way for now._

The adults needed to talk.

"C'mon." Shisui excitedly grabbed both Itachi and I by our sleeves and dragged us towards the tree the homicidal babies were fighting each other under.

"Heh, I hope you don't mind that I told Hokage-sama to invite some new faces." Shisui blushed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. He knows how I am with people.

"It's okay." I shook my head.

It's for the best, anyway.

"We tried to make your party better than mine." Itachi admitted with a nervous smile.

"Well, no offense to your party, Itachi, but you guys nailed it. Thanks!"

I smiled and hugged them both, just as Nara Shikaku walked into the clearing, a bundle in his right arm and his wife in his left, catching my attention immediately.

"Yo." He greeted the group of adults tiredly.

This is perfect… the more clan leaders we have here the better. Think about this politically. This is Fugaku's opportunity to nurture better relationships with other major political players, and even if he doesn't do too well, he has Mikoto dragging him all over the place, greeting people and making conversation for him, improving relations by the second. Shisui and Jiji are _geniuses._ I bet you it was Itachi's idea to bring all of their kids too… building bonds for the next generation and whatnot. We're a sneaky bunch, aren't we?

I caught Shisui and Itachi's eyes. They shot me identical smirks as Shikaku made his way over to the blanket to place his son under our care.

"Uzumaki-san." The clan leader greeted, no judgment in his tone or chakra at all. To him, I was just another kid. I liked him already. "Happy birthday." Yoshino smiled as she placed a quiet Shikamaru on the blanket, next to Ino, who threw her chunky baby body at him with a giggle.

I didn't think it was possible for a baby to look annoyed, but Shikamaru's "ugh, fuck off" face was on point as he tried to shove Ino off of him almost instantly.

"Take car of him, ne?" Shikaku spoke to the three of us, and we nodded, Shisui jokingly saluting him.

"Yes sir!" He grinned and then grabbed some leaves.

"Alright, kiddies, check this out!" He took a deep breath and I felt his chakra concentrating around his hands.

Shikaku ad Yoshino were curious as well and stuck around to watch Shisui force some wind to flow between his palms. He turned the wind into a vortex and the babies watched with wide eyes as the leaves swirled in the mini tornado. Even Sasuke and Naruto stopped their brawl to watch until Shisui began to sweat, and finally let go with a huff.

He blushed.

"Um… I'm still trying to get the hang of wind jutsu…" He explained, embarrassed. Shikaku laughed as the kids giggled.

"You'll get it. You have a lot of talent, kid. Keep it up." He complemented. "Speaking of talent, I heard you like shogi, Uzumaki-san."

Oh… shit…

Don't lose confidence now, Yuzuha!

I smirked boldly.

"I sure do. And you can call me Yuzuha, if you'd like." I offered.

"Very well, Yuzuha-chan. I expect a good game out of you today."

I smirked and Shisui quickly interrupted.

"You can't go easy on her just 'cause it's her birthday!" He almost shouted with his vendetta.

Shikaku snorted.

"Your uncle already warned me." He revealed. "See you guys later." He lifted his arm up and the Nara couple turned to go join the adults.

Slowly, little by little the other important clan heads showed up, each of them greeting me as they dumped their kids on the blanket, probably glad to have a break from them for once; the mothers especially. Basically everyone from the major clans showed up, save for Sakura's parents for obvious reasons.

I think Inoichi-san pulled a lot of strings, because though some of the clan leaders were apprehensive of me, some of them even outright hateful, they all gave me a chance. The only people left not liking me were Hyuuga Hiashi and Inuzuka Tsume. Even then, Hiashi wasn't as much of a hard ass as I expected him to be. He didn't seem cold like he was in canon.

By far, Choji's dad was the nicest, gifting us with baskets of food upon arrival. He was the most cheerful person at the party, rivaling Mikoto's exuberance and everyone definitely laughed more when he arrived. Even Hiashi cracked a smile.

Speaking of smiles, Hinata's mom's beauty can rival Mikoto's. But Mikoto is still prettier; don't tell anyone I said that.

Her face is feminine and her large eyes are lavender, instead of the basic white that the Hyuuga are typically characterized with. And little Hinata is _so_ sweet. She arrived with a pretty daffodil in hand, which Itachi helped weave into my hair.

The eldest and for now _only_ Hyuuga daughter was outgoing as well, a far cry from the shy girl in cannon. I vowed on my heritage and the life I lived before this one that I would protect that smile. Though, I don't know the exact events that led to Hima-san's death. I put info-gathering on the issue on my to-do list. She's another face I have to try to save.

I mostly got clothes, ribbons, hair accessories and training equipment as gifts. But by far the little blue box surprised me the most. In it there was a paper with a seal. I expected a hair pin or something. When I activated the seal it was a beautiful, black bow, painted with red seals in which to store arrows, gifted to me from the Uchiha clan head family plus Sanno and Sho who would have come if they didn't have missions. Itachi and Shisui gave the idea, Sanno and Sho picked the bow and arrows out, and Mikoto and Fugaku paid for it. Shisui smugly wanted the honor of giving it to me. When I activated the seal on the bow, I was met with a gorgeous set of wrapped black arrows with red and black fletching.

I was happy and sad at the same time. The bow reminded me of my weekends with Tommy before I died. We used to go shooting all the time at the archery range. It was our routine on Sundays. Coffee—Starbucks because it was his guilty pleasure— food, and then archery for an hour afterwards.

I smiled through my sorrow and group-hugged the people who had become my family throughout the last year. I didn't want them to know I was sad.

With a promise to shoot at training ground ten with Itachi and Shisui, we moved on to eating lunch and then the delicious cake Kanako-san made. Overall, despite my jinchuriki status freaking some people out, the mood was good until it was time to leave.

This was probably the best birthday party I've ever had, and it was a successful one, politically-speaking, as well. There were no negative feelings. As the day and evening wore on, the adults only got happier, which I'm sure the sake helped out with. Each couple was excited for their child to join the academy and be classmates with the others.

There were even promises of having another fun gathering just like this one in the future.

The good day brightened my mood and kept me going for the next few weeks, which I badly needed to stay sane.

* * *

Uchiha Utau is no joke.

Like, seriously guys, she's pretty tough. But not unbeatable. We aren't close in skill. She's got a long way to go before she beats me down, but believe me you, she certainly _tries_ like no other. I don't blame her for being angry with me half the time. I spent almost a year training with two prodigies, and she was left to mentors who probably didn't push her hard enough, or refine her skills down to laser precision. If I were in her place and wanted to kick the shit out of me but couldn't, I would seethe every day.

About half an hour before the first class of the day, I was thinking about taking Naruto out on a playdate to Itachi's house next time we were required to baby sit when I sensed it: Utau's gokakyuu-no-jutsu. It wasn't huge, or graceful like Shisui's but it was enough to force me to pick my ass off of the grass beneath the tree I was sitting under to dodge it. I pushed energy into my arm and flipped my body over almost-backwards in a semi-roll, landing in a crouch as the heat from the flame dried the skin of my face and blackened the grass in the spot I was sitting in.

Utau landed on the charred greenery, arms crossed. She was dressed in a fancy blue silk shirt similar to Sakura's in cannon, tied with a bright and thick, white bow around her middle. Her bottoms were plain black shorts and tall black boots. Her hair was up in twin tails today, long bangs framing her face, and she was as fashionable and practical as ever.

The boys of the class competed to impress her, but all she ever cared about was fighting me for some stupid reason.

Why does she fixate on me? I wasn't worth shit to her when we first met at Itachi's party. But I guess one good beating to prove my skill to her was what it took to make her get serious. She pulled out three kunai from the small, black pouch at her hip.

"Are we really doing this now?" I asked, jaded. She smirked, her deep eyes gleaming in the morning light.

"We have a half hour. Most shinobi battles last less than ten minutes." She reasoned.

This battle will last less than ten seconds, because I really don't feel like doing this right now. I just want to chill. It's the day of the exam and I don't feel like wasting my time, or my chakra for that matter. We're in the elite classes and who knows what sort of physical testing we'll be put through. I want to be at full capacity, just in case.

"You should save your chakra." I replied.

"I'll recover by the time the test starts." She chirped back, not backing down. She wasn't lying either. She regenerates her chakra quickly; almost as quickly as I do thanks to the kyuubi, for some reason. I rolled my eyes.

"You can keep throwing whatever you want at me. I'm not fighting back. Why don't you go destroy Shoka-san? She's been dying to get at your throat since you beat her last week."

She glared at me and huffed with a cute blush on her cheeks.

" _Fine_."

And then she walked away. Making her feel good about herself was the best way to manipulate her.

"I think she likes you." Itachi's voice droned into my ear and I turned around with a grin, already alerted to his presence.

"Good morning to you too." I replied brightly.

"Are you prepared?" I asked, uselessly because I could clearly see that he was. He had his sturdy black Uchiha t-shirt, and his dark grey shorts with the side pockets that held his weapons that he liked so much.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be. There's no turning back now."

He nodded and I tipped my head towards the entrance.

"Let's go."

I gotta say, guys, I feel like a true ninja, too. I got all decked-out today, mostly in the clothes I received from either Mikoto, or the other clan heads at my birthday party/political rendezvous. I had these cool, black tactical pants that felt similar to leggings in my other life, except the fabric was sturdier, and a scarlet haori to match my hair color over another black t-shirt covering a layer of mesh beneath it. I also decked my arms out in my new matching scarlet arm-warmers, thanks to Hima and Hiashi-sama, which had storage seals stitched into them, so I didn't even need a pouch, _hah_. I felt like a total badass. Mikoto-sama took me to a hair stylist too, and we shortened my hair back to my chin.

Once inside and seated next to each other, Itachi pulled out an olive book, opening it to the page he last left off at. I could tell he was nervous. He only ever read for leisure in class when he was nervous about something. I let him be, because no amount of prodding or reassuring could simmer him down; he was bred to be alert and impenetrable in response to stress. I gave up on easing his worries a while ago. Lazily, I put my head down. A few more minutes of nap time wouldn't hurt, would it?

Just as I started to drift into my dreams while our classmates joked and bantered, the door slammed open and Seia-sensei walked in, blonde hair in a mess, brown eyes serious. She felt _pissed_. I knew it wasn't some sort of pre-test scheme to see which of us lost their nerve first or something. The other students were silent and confused, unsure of what to think. They too must be wondering if this is an act that is part of some unspoken test or not. She threw a bunch of folders down on the desk and took a deep breath to compose herself. You could hear a pin drop; she had our attention.

"You all pass."

 _What_?

Itachi and I made confused eye contact. The room erupted into miniature conversations and she waited only a few seconds before she was back on our asses like an angry wasp.

" _Be quiet!_ "

Again, stony silence.

"You are all deemed more than good enough by the high council of Konoha. Teams will be made today. I don't think I need to tell you that your teammates are permanent and _not_ up for debate. When your names are called, please come and pick up your headbands.

She put her fingers into the tiger seal, and a box popped up in her hands from a storage seal somewhere on her. She put the plain container on the desk and pulled out a list from inside it. Her chocolate eyes scanned over the paper, double checking it, and then she began.

"Team one…"

No one dared to speak, but Itachi and I didn't need words to communicate by this point; we had best friend super powers.

" _What do you think is going on?"_ My expression asked as I tossed my eyes over to Seia-sensei.

Itachi shrugged, but his eyes narrowed.

" _Nothing good_."

"Team three! Uchiha Utau!"

My eyes found Utau in the front row, shoulders tense under the Uchiha fan on the back of her fashionable top.

"Sagahara Shima!"

Shima-san is strong in genjutsu, as is Utau. That doesn't look like balance to me.

"Uchiha Itachi! Come get your headbands!"

Wait, _what?_

I snapped my head to look at Itachi and saw his brow furrow before he shot me a concerned look and stood up. This didn't make sense to either of us. _What the fuck is going on?_

Utau on the other hand, felt ecstatic. Poor Itachi. The Uchiha girl turned around on her way back to her seat and sent me a smug wink. I gave her a flat look in response. She thinks I'm her competition, vying for Itachi's attention.

Fool. She'd be more respectful if she knew I was working to save her ass. Itachi sat back down next to me, his black headband tied across his forehead. He was starting to look more and more like the Itachi from cannon, which was beginning to scare me. I feel like I'm running out of time more so than usual.

Hey look at that, the elite classes get black headbands instead of blue ones. That's pretty cool I guess.

I sat, now nervous, and listened to Seia-sensei call more names and team numbers. Who am I going to be grouped with? But most importantly, _why_? Itachi and I planned on rigging or "playing" the sorting system of the village. It was Shisui's idea from the get-go.

Itachi tailored his genjutsu, sharpened it to a fine point, while I worked on my taijutsu and basic skills, honing them and my grades in strategy until I was as accurate as a laser in every punch, in every throw of a weapon, and every touch of an exploding tag.

He rigged his statistic in ninjutsu, making it slightly lower than his statistic in genjutsu.

If anything we thought we'd be paired with Sarutobi Yusuke, not only because he excelled in ninjutsu, but also because he's a _Sarutobi_. Theoretically, pairing an Uchiha with a Sarutobi and an Uzumaki would satisfy the council's racist tendencies, _plus_ it would be best to pair the kyuubi jinchuriki with a sharingan user to control me in case I go berserk.

So now, _again,_ the question is _why_. What is the strategic reasoning of their chouce? Shima, Itachi, and Utau are all silent, genjutsu types. Why does Konoha need an illusionist strike team?

"And lastly, team seven!"

Lastly? Shit, I zoned out. Itachi nudged the side of my leg with his knee and I stood up. Two other figures rose with me.

Sarutobi Yusuke. Tall, for a genin, bulky with wild brown hair and other-worldly green eyes. His chakra was beaming with excitement, infecting my mood, uplifting my spirit just a little.

But not for long because the second person is my worst nightmare.

Shimura Yusui.

Yep.

As in, related to Shimura Dog-shit-Danzo.

If fuckmylife dot com existed I would put this on it. The _one_ kid I spent my time in the academy avoiding is on my team.

Fantastic.

His eyes were stunning pools of intense honey but that's as far as their aesthetically pleasing appearance goes; otherwise, they were sharp, scrutinizing and cold. His hair was a black-navy color, cut short with his bangs pushed to the side.

"Sarutobi Yusuke, Uzumaki Yuzuha, and Shimura Yusui!"

I took the lead and marched down the center staircase, stoic and wondering what the hell is going on. I picked my headband up out of the box and looked at my reflection in the metal. Where do I put this thing?

I probably won't carry it around somewhere stupid and I'll _definitely_ forget to pin it to my clothes so I might as well put it on my forehead. I placed the metal over my forehead and reached into the hair at the back of my head to tie the thing tightly, and then placed my hair over the knot when I was done. Yusuke grinned at me when I turned around to go back to my seat and Yusui seemed annoyed.

Funny how each of our names start with "Yu" and we're the infamous "team seven". The universe has a sick and backwards sense of humor. I sat back in my seat and when my teammates were seated, our blonde sensei sighed.

"Your jounin sensei will collect you shortly. Before you all go I would like to tell you that I am very proud of you all. When you get out there, fight, survive, but most of all, make Konoha proud."

After a few scattered goodbyes, she left us all and we waited for our senseis.

Utau wasted no time making her way over to Itachi. The quiet Uchiha's eyes met mine and I saw an apology in them that didn't require words. I shook my head and just then Utau dropped into the vacant seat on Itachi's other side and let out an overconfident huff.

"How unfortunate. I was hoping we would have an opportunity to test our skills; we should have sparred, Yuzuha-san."

"I won't argue there. In any case, it was a pleasure, guys. Itachi, tomorrow?" I turned my attention to my Uchiha friend and he nodded. We would see each other tomorrow, probably at his house, and watch Naruto and Sasuke play… well, fight is the better term for what they do, but it's their way of hanging out. With a grin, I turned and found my new teammates on the other side of the room. Yusuke was poking Yusui's cheek and grinning like a cat about who-knows-what and the Shimura was sitting with defensive arms across his chest, slowly losing his patience.

I wouldn't be surprised if the council rigged my team this way. How _fitting_ it is for Danzo to have one of his own clan members on _my_ team, the kyuubi jinchuriki, Konoha's most valuable and explosive weapon. Now I'll really have to be on my toes. No doubt this kid was planted here to keep tabs on me. I wouldn't be surprised if me being jiji's apprentice turned Danzo off a little; he wants to have his greedy, power-hungry hands in everything, including my life.

Wordlessly, I sat in the seat next to Yusuke.

"You're not going to introduce yourself?" He asked, curiously.

"You know who I am." I countered factually.

"Ouch, okay." He grimaced.

" _Everyone_ knows who you are." Yusui murmured, his words coated in ice.

Fuckin' brat. Those sound like fightin' words to me.

"Good. And _everyone_ will know what I can do, soon enough." I gave him a pointed look. _You will find out what I can do to_ you _._ Is basically my message. His honey eyes looked to the side, past Yusuke and briefly touched my charged gaze. With a smirk, he turned his attention back to the front of the room, comfortable in his dark grey men's kimono top and soft, dark pants.

Little bastard wants to play games. I won't get riled up by your shit again, Yusui.

Yusuke whistled in surprise.

"We're gonna be one hell of a team…"

"Or we're going to be the team from hell." I countered. Yusuke snorted.

"So fox girl has a sense of humor."

"You want me to shove it through your throat?" I growled back. Is he picking a fight with me too? _Fox girl_? For real?

He held up his hands.

"Hang on, now. That wasn't meant like _that_."

I studied the sincerity in his face and in his chakra for a moment.

"Fine." _Better not have been_. Or else I would've had to put _both_ of them in their places. I sighed and decided to give a speech, because we obviously don't have our shit together.

"Listen, we're a team, like it or not. Our jobs are to serve Konoha and serve her _well_. We don't have to like each other but we need to work together. I'm not dealing with any childish crap from here on out and I _mean_ it. That being said, let's go over our strengths and weaknesses. There's no telling what sort of exercises our sensei is going to put us through, so we might as well be ready in case they're team-related."

"A shinobi never reveals either of those." Yusui coolly replied.

"True, but that only applies to enemies. Teammates are another thing." Yusuke supplied and flicked lint off of his open, black jacket. He made eye contact with Yusui, who looked like he had a retort, but sighed and held it back. He decided to go first instead and get it over-with.

"Shimura Yusui. Age eight. Strengths are kenjutsu, and genjutsu. Weaknesses are ninjutsu; I have none in my arsenal of skills." He supplied, more helpful than I thought he'd be. So he was the kill-you-in-your-sleep kind of shinobi; perfect for anbu. Get in, kill the target silently, and get right back out.

"Cool. Sarutobi Yusuke. Age nine. My strength is in my ninjutsu. My chakra nature is lightning. I'm pretty good at taijutsu too, but I kinda suck at genjutsu. You know what, I _really_ suck at genjutsu. I can get by with the basics, but I can't make artwork out of it. I'm learning how to use different weapons, but my chakra is an extension of myself and I prefer to use it over anything else."

And he has a lot of it to use, too. The kid's network is pretty intense.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha. Age seven. My strengths are taijutsu, sensing and fuuinjutsu. I'm decent at ninjutsu and genjutsu. My chakra nature is water, so we'll work well together, Yusuke-san."

"Just Yusuke." He smiled.

"Alright. I have your backs, so I expect you guys to have mine."

"As if we have a choice." Yusui murmured. Yusuke decked him in the shoulder, but he didn't react.

"Oi! You know, fox girl's pretty cool!" He turned to me with a grin. "No worries, red, I got your back."

First "fox girl" and now "red"… I can't exactly say it annoys me. It's better than getting called "demon" or "monster".

We waited for a while after that, watching teams leave one by one. Itachi got made fun of for being on a team with two girls, but a couple of patented Yuzuha-pencil-missiles from across the room shut them up. No one wanted graphite in their eyes, so the shit-talking stopped really quickly. Not much later, Itachi's team left and I waved goodbye. There was one more team left, but their sensei soon picked them up and now, it was just lonely team seven, stuck in an empty classroom.

I hope I didn't fuck events up so badly that _I'm_ reliving Naruto's story _before_ him.

Yusuke stretched.

"This is boring." He stated and placed his hands behind his head.

"It's so fun; you're horribly mistaken." Yusui replied in a dry tone while waving his hands in a sarcastic show of excitement.

"Nothing left to do but follow orders and wait here to be picked up." I grumbled.

"Mph." Yusui grumbled back, for once agreeing with me on something.

Suddenly, a small spike of familiar chakra pierced the air. It was a tiny blip on my radar, but it was a _dangerous_ blip.

"Incoming!" I screamed, grabbed Yusuke in his awkward, _not_ alert position, and jumped out of my seat, _just_ as an exploding tag detonated before even hitting the top of the table we were sitting behind.

 _Boom_ motherfucker!

The building rumbled and dust clouded our vision but _not_ my mind's eye.

I saw a figure of chakra in the smoke, a woman. The _same_ woman that was there for my first exam. The butterfly anbu. Yusui had his feet planted on the wall opposite of us and had gotten away safely. The woman's soft and flowery chakra pulsed and its power cleared the dust cloud in the room and revealed the destroyed tabletop and cracked seats behind it. A couple of parts here and there were on fire, though the flames were low. I looked at her through the thin upwards trail of smoke between Yusuke and I and the butterfly anbu.

Just like before, her brown hair was short, only this time it was _really_ short. Half of her head was shaved down almost bald and the rest of her hair hugged the other half of her head, making her look almost like a green beret in the type of army that I'm familiar with… except she was a very pretty green beret. Her eyes were a deep, violet color and her lashes were long. She had a thin scar running down her left cheek from just beneath her bottom eye lid to just beneath her high cheekbone. She radiated that familiar confidence, which made it look like the scar was makeup, something intentional; something she _owned_. She was curvy and maybe in her twenties and if my eyes in my lips in my last life were just a bit fuller we'd have looked a lot alike. Last time I saw her, she was in anbu gear, this time she wore the green vest of a jonin, paired with the standard black clothes underneath it.

I didn't realize when Yusuke had disengaged from my hold, but his chakra was now crackling like rice krispies right next to me.

"What kind of sensei ruins konoha property?" Yusui egged smugly. The kid can really talk some shit.

"The kind that's going to turn you into a proper shinobi." Butterfly-san tossed back easily, never taking her eyes off of me and Yusuke. "You kids have good reflexes, but you'd have been screwed if that one hadn't sensed me coming." She tipped her head towards Yusuke and then me as she berated him, and afterwards tossed it back to get some hair out of her face. "You three are going to meet me at training ground two. We're going to continue this fight there. If I don't see you at the location in ten minutes you all fail and I'll let the hokage know that you'll be staying back for another year of lectures."

She didn't bother hearing any objections or protests. She just shunshinned. For a moment the three of us just stared at the spot she was in.

"Well… that was quite an _explosive_ entrance…" Yusuke mumbled.

Yusui tossed him an angry glare for the pun from across the classroom where he disengaged from the wall.

"We should get going." I ordered.

And so we did. We ran like hell, because all three of us knew that training ground two was all the way on the opposite side of Konoha. I convinced Jiji to let me see the yondaime's journal so I could tailor the hiraishiin to myself, but that was just yesterday. I haven't gotten down to working on a system of seals that could just teleport me wherever I need to be. I regret every second I waited to ask, because if I could do that, this challenge would be no problem. I didn't have time to entertain that miserable thought, though.

We took to the rooftops, something you're generally not supposed to do to avoid scaring the civilian public, but _fuck_ that. If there is one thing that the butterfly sensei already taught us, it's that your surroundings don't matter, obviously. She was cool with blowing up the classroom to make a point, so we have to be cool with scaring people to get what we need to get done. Cheating and breaking rules sure helped us, because we got to the training ground with two minutes to spare.

But she didn't let us catch our breaths.

"Wait, _stop!"_ Yusui was too late in his warning.

The second we stepped into the clearing surrounded with trees, hugging a small stream, we triggered a trap. There were seals on the ground, masked with genjutsu that I wasn't sensing for, and that Yusuke didn't bother thinking about.

Those seals weren't just in that spot, though. They were planted in a huge circle around the circumference of the clearing and Yusuke and I screamed, caught up in the first explosion that singed the villous, little hairs on my arms and caught Yusuke's jacket on fire. I dodged to the side, following Yusui just because, and Yusuke tossed off his coat and ran behind me, now in only a dark grey tunic with the mesh beneath it covering his biceps. We avoided two more successive explosions and finally, butterfly-sensei dropped in from a tree, throwing kunai directly at us. We scattered like cockroaches and I avoided a kunai that would've found its way into my Achilles tendon had I not twisted correctly last second.

 _Boom_ another _big_ explosion. I saw Yusuke hopping into the dead center of the field, avoiding a huge fireball. Everything would've been great for him if butterfly-sensei hadn't used a wind jutsu to enhance the fire, and then send it hurtling towards us like a flame-tornado from hell. I summoned the water from across the clearing, hoping I could haul it through the air and in front of us fast enough to save us.

If not, everything would be okay anyway, because Yusui was on his way, and if my mental imaging is correct, he's holding a katana that he coated with his chakra.

"Rrragh!" I grunted, doing my best to try to block the fire-nado with all of my willpower. Thankfully, the water reached us in time and I fused _just_ enough chakra into it to compete with the attack that was intended to fry us to a crisp… _just_. Any less and that fire would have evaporated the shit out of my water and we'd be screwed. My water hit the fire, and with a hiss and a huge steam cloud the two attacks canceled out. I was a little stressed from having to summon water into battle that quickly, but a tug on my red haori sleeve alerted me to Yusuke's presence next to me. My tall teammate tossed his head over to the stream, and I realized that Yusui, now running straight at butterfly-sensei, was trying to push her further and further towards the stream. I understood their plan, and made a quick run for it just as I heard metal clash with metal.

It was simple. Yusui would distract her. Yusuke might join him, but the second her feet touch the stream, or the second some of the stream touches her, whichever comes first, Yusuke sparks up the water and we fry her. Yusuke jumped into the fray, where Yusui was gracefully matching sensei blow-for-blow with a katana. She seemed bored holding him back with just a kunai, and the anger and frustration was apparent in his expression. She was way, _way_ out of his league. I _so_ want to be that cool in battle. It's settled, guys; _that_ just became another goal to reach.

With a battle cry, Yusuke started throwing punches and kicks, ducking and spinning with Yusui and sensei. They looked like dancers for a moment, but then another seal, this one hidden behind a genjutsu on a tree trunk, exploded when Yusui and Yusuke got too close to it. The two managed to duck and roll out of the way, but it gave sensei the upper hand and she looked entertained as she quickly retrieved another kunai from her pouch and went at them.

More hidden seals exploded and Yusuke pulled out his own knife. My pulse practically pounded to each clang of metal-on-metal, but I didn't waste any time lifting water out of the stream, now that I was right next to it. It was easier now to connect with the element and I lifted as much as I could without having to stop and use a hand sign, and then took off. I separated the huge, spiraling stream of water above my head into two spiraling streams, and hurled them at sensei when my teammates had her caught in an evasive spin. Just before the water slammed into her, Yusui jumped back, and Yusuke, with a smirk, lit it up in sparks. I dropped the water, just as it enveloped her, and just as his lightning touched it. We watched as sensei's body seized while she screamed.

For a second we were quiet as her body convulsed one last time and dropped… but something was horribly off.

 _There's no smell of cooking flesh…_

We all realized it a little too late as a tell-tale poof revealed a substitution jutsu. It was basic, but effective. I searched frantically for sensei's chakra signature. Again, there was a small blip but it was already too late. Before I could blink I had a knee in my back, and wire pulling my arms behind my body.

I couldn't even think of the pain that was going to abuse my chin and jaw as I watched two, twin sensei's appear behind both Yusuke and Yusui and take them down in a similar manner. Then, my face collided with the grass, my teeth scraped against each other, sending chills up and down my spine while simultaneously, my neck cracked uncomfortably. My chin became best friends with the earth, as it lightly sunk into the ground. I couldn't even open my mouth to scream when I bit down on my tongue and tasted blood.

This fuckin' _sucks_. She's just too fast. Her melodic and mildly sadistic laughter reached my ears, and then the weight was gone from my back with a poof. The sensei holding Yusui down disappeared, and the _real_ butterfly-sensei eased herself up off of Yusuke, loosening the wires around his arms. He rubbed his chin.

"That hurt." Yusuke complained as he rubbed his chin with a pout. He could sure take a hit.

"I bit my tongue." Yusui grumbled, holding the side of his face.

You and me both, kiddo. I swallowed the blood flowing from my tongue and made my way over to the other three. We all convened in the center of the clearing, butterfly-sensei grinning at us.

"You kids are sadistic. If I was any chunnin I'd have been dead a while ago; even before that combo-lightning-death attack." She complemented us. "You're all just really slow."

She's right. Where her chakra moves as quickly as the speed of fucking light in a vacuum—that's an exaggeration—, our chakras move like organic maple syrup in comparison. And Yusui barely even uses his, though that's understandable, since it's not his thing anyway. I realized my heart was racing faster than ever when I looked at the trembling in my hands while removing the rest of her wires. I had never been in a fight quite like _that_ one.

 _So this is what an anbu is like, huh_? I bet she was going easy on us, too.

No one spoke once we were all near each other.

"Alright, you guys sit down. Let me tell you a bit about myself."

Obediently, we all just dropped in our spots as she sat down and stretched out her long legs, bouncing the tips of her sandals against each other twice as she thought of what to say.

"Well let's see… My name is Junsei Mira, but you can just call me 'Mira-sensei.' I like mystery novels and weapons. I dislike doing laundry and cleaning. My dream is to nurture the strongest team in Konoha, and you three got the luck of being under my care. Now, you guys go ahead. Starting with you, since you have a good attitude." She pointed at Yusuke and he smiled and cleared his throat.

"My name is Sarutobi Yusuke. I like animals and training with my dad. I hate it when my older sister picks on me, so I dislike bullies. My dream is to be the greatest lightning-style user in Konoha."

Sorry, Yusuke… Sasuke's got you beat; just wait till _he_ grows up.

Mira-sensei tossed her head over to me and I rolled off my practiced introduction.

Yes, _practiced_.

"My name is Uzumaki Yuzuha. I like training and learning about seals. I dislike… _detest_ liars and stupidity. My dream is to protect my little brother and become the strongest kunoichi in my generation." Done.

And finally…

"Shimura Yusui… I like to read informational texts, and not much else. I dislike most things, but above all, I dislike wasting my time. I don't have a dream."

I thought that was a load of horseshit and felt like calling him out on it, but Mira-sensei ignored his last statement and clapped her hands together.

"Alright, then! Report to the hokage tower tomorrow morning at six exactly. We have a mission. See you then."

And she disappeared. Just like that. I think our shoulders collectively slumped. Exhausted, I threw my torso back, fell against the grass again, and stared up at the fading sunlight from the sky.

"Man, we suck."

Only 'cause she's anbu, Yusuke. Speaking of which, she hasn't said anything to me about seeing me at the test I took. She probably already knows that I know who she is, though. Undoubtedly, she already read through my, Yusuke, and Yusui's files and most likely knows that I have sick sensory abilities.

"We need more training. It's peculiar that we're being thrown into a mission without much preparation beforehand. I would say that they simply expect a lot from us, however the lack of a typically standard test before the initiation this morning begs to differ." Yusui theorized.

"I think it's both." I said from my position on the ground. "There has to be some emergency. Something's up _and_ they expect us to be able to handle it simply because we're more skilled than the other genin graduating in our generation." I explained.

"You have a point." Yusuke agreed. "We're going to have to be careful." Then he grinned. "In any case, we kicked some ass!" I turned my head to see him grinning with one thumb up, the bottom of his lip beginning to swell. I couldn't help but smile back; he was genuinely happy. It made me feel warm and fuzzy. Yusui sighed, the inside of his elbows resting on his knee caps. He clasped his hands together and half-hugged his knees.

"We didn't kick _anything._ I'm going home." He stated and then got to his feet.

"Yeah, yeah, you suck at looking on the bright side. Anyway, we should get something to eat. Don't bail out now." So Yusuke's a little social butterfly, huh? Too bad I'm broke and can't hang out.

"I have no money." I revealed. His plan to get us to bond more was good, but it was flawed.

"…Oh." He replied, a little dejected.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow, though. Nice and early." I stated and then got to my feet.

"Alright! See you!"

Yusuke waved and I smiled at him as he groaned and stood up. The three of us then went our separate ways.

That night I spent hours at jiji's office, studying Minato's notes while the old man ignored my prodding questions about why we didn't have a test and why I wasn't put on a balanced team. I told him all about the damaged classroom and the fight between my team and our sensei. He seemed amused and told me he was proud. When I went home, I spent an hour writing seals; offensive seals, defensive seals, storage seals etc. I sharpened the kunai I got from Sanno and placed it into my pouch.

Despite the fact that my team was going to be heading into danger without much practice, I was confident. We worked well together today. Yusuke and Yusui were kids and they annoyed each other and me, but they were smart enough to get their shit together when it counted. I'm excited because I have a feeling that we'll be able to tackle whatever misfortune happens upon us, if it does at all.

After my shower, I smirked into my mirror.

"We really didn't kick any ass, Yusuke, but we will soon enough."

* * *

Let me know your thoughts!

See ya' later, Space Cowboy

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto bla bla bla this isn't needed here who cares bla bla bla


	10. The Shinobi Life

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|10|

That morning I draped my scarlet haori over my shoulders and slid into a pair of dark tactical pants Today, my shirt was white. Not a good color for a first-time mission, but who cares.

At the hokage tower, I found Yusui already standing in a line that wrapped around the large oak desk of the basic, fire-toned lobby with Mira-sensei. The brunette smiled at me and waved me over. I picked up the pace and jogged across the medium space to reach them. I sensed Itachi and Utau further up the line, standing somewhere in the center of the spiral staircase leading up to jiji's office.

I already knew why the line was so long. It was the end of the month and most teams were returning from missions, trying to get their oral and written reports in. On top of that, academy graduates, Elite and not were going to be handed out both the backed-up and current lower-ranked missions. A meeting or two in the early morning must have held hiru-jiji back a little bit and this was the result.

As always, I blame disaster-Danzo for everything. Fucking self-righteous, narcissistic pig. He probably had an "urgent meeting" with him about, fucking I don't know, his dislike of the Uchiha police uniform or something stupid. And now jiji has to deal with this bullshit.

Yes, I know my irritation is completely irrational and I'm jumping the gun by blaming Danzo. For all I know, Jiji could have overslept. Blaming Danzo is just much more motivating.

"Where's Yusuke?" I asked amongst the steady chattering in the room, just because Yusuke's my favorite, next to Mira-sensei, of course. Fuck Yusui and his already bad attitude. His expression was stormy, making it clear that he's impatient.

"Late." Yusui replied.

I blinked at him, and then put my hands into the tiger seal. Closing my eyes was like closing the curtain on a stage. Everything else disappeared and slowly, the chaos in the lobby, composed of ringing phones and quiet talking faded away. I turned my attention away from the many bodies around me, and I noticed Itachi leaning against the wall where one of my favorite poems hung in a frame. He seemed bored and it didn't _look_ like his mouth was moving. Shima and Utau were talking, however. They both liked to talk with their hands when they were relaxed and their body language made it look like they were talking about something exciting. I could sense their eagerness.

Without spending another second, I stretched my senses out towards the rest of the village. It took some searching but I zeroed in on Yusuke. He was still sleeping on the second floor of his home in the residential section of Konoha. No fair! He was sprawled out on his back and comfortable and _everything!_

Someone pulled on my clothes and broke my concentration. It was Yusui pulling me forward because the line moved up by a lot.

"He's sleeping." I stated resentfully and shuffled forward.

Yusui and Mira-sensei looked at me for a moment, both surprised.

"You can tell?" Yusui asked and he was genuinely curious as he crossed his arms.

"Yeah. Should I go wake him up?" I asked. 'Cause I would _love_ to ruin his morning in revenge.

"Meh, conserve your chakra." Mira-sensei ordered with a lazy wave of her hand. I watched her make a clone without even using a seal and the double ran off to probably give Yusuke a rude awakening.

…Should I feel bad for him?

Pfft. Yeah right. No mercy. He deserves it for sleeping more than me. I watched Mira-sensei's clone crash in on Yusuke's bedroom through his window in my mind's eye. I snickered to myself while trusting Yusui to guide me through the line.

I cackled under my breath as alarm flashed through Yusuke's entire being. He jumped out of his bed, rolled and hit something, apparently, because his hands went up to the back of his head.

"Is he getting what he deserves?" Yusui asked as I opened my eyes.

"Yeah, that and more. She's not going easy on him."

"Good."

If I could put a meme to Yusui, it would be the grumpy cat; the one that hates the world. I'm a pretty cynical person, but I'm not outright negative like that. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Do you ever have anything positive to say?" I asked, just out of curiosity. Maybe there was a silver lining somewhere in his rain cloud.

He pondered that question for a moment and then shook his head.

"Not really."

"Fine then. One day I'll make you say something positive. Count on it-ttebane!" I gave him a determined grin and he rolled his eyes. Little does he know, I'm not giving up on that endeavor. I _will_ make him smile. Just to prove that I can.

The three of us lapsed into silence and I busied myself listening to the receptionist talk, politely repeating herself to every person she spoke to over the phone.

Yusuke dipped through the large double doors of the lobby just a few minutes later, barely missing a mom and her two kids as he blindly ran to us. His clothes were crinkled and his brown hair was messed up as he stumbled in front of us, and placed his palms on his knees to catch his breath.

"Sorry." He sucked in a huge breath and then exhaled. "I was up all night. I couldn't sleep. Did I hold you guys ba—

He recovered while he was talking and as he straightened up he realized we were standing in line and his expression became angry. He turned fierce green eyes onto Mira-sensei.

"You told me the hokage was angry!" He balled one of his fists in an offensive manner and pointed an accusing finger at a bored Mira-sensei with his other hand. The people around us grew completely silent at the sound of a possible argument.

I flicked his temple just as Mira-sensei's expressed darkened as she placed her hands on her hips.

"To be fair you kinda deserved it. We're all mad you slept more than us. Pull your weight next time." I lectured to spare him our sensei's wrath and he frowned.

" _That's_ what you guys are so cranky about?" He rubbed the back of his head and turned back to Mira-sensei and Yusui, who, of course, looked like he gave zero fucks.

"Sorry." Yusuke apologized seriously with a small bow. You gotta hand it to him, it was mature of him to just accept his screw-up, apologize and move on. "You too, Red. I'm sorry." He gave me a shy smile and I shook my head.

"The line's really long, huh." Yusuke murmured now that the people around us returned to talking amongst themselves. A few people shuffled forward and when we took their place, we finally ended up at the bland wall just next to the beginning of the staircase.

"I would have never guessed." Yusui replied dryly. I decked his shoulder for being an ass hole and he just accepted it, pretending that it didn't hurt… but I knew it did. And he knew I knew it did, too. Neither of us said anything about it, though. I let him keep his tough-guy façade.

"Yuzuha." Mira-sensei announced. My eyes snapped to her and I waited for her to speak. "How wide is your sensory range?" She asked once she had my attention. I smirked in response, because she totally gave me the opportunity to look cool.

"I can sense all the way outside of the village walls. Like, _far_ outside the village walls." I replied. She smirked in response.

"Good. Then your job is to pay attention to my chakra. When I flash it three times you guys are to head immediately back here. You're all going to get yourselves and me some breakfast. I want a fruit cup and a slice of grilled salmon with tamago on the side from Itayama's across that ramen stand on main market street."

No ifs ands or buts.

"Roger that." Yusuke replied and then grabbed both Yusui and I by our sleeves and led us out of there. He must _really_ hate lines.

"I _really_ hate lines." Bingo. Right on the money. He reminds me of Tommy, except he's less impatient than the boyfriend I left behind. That has to be the result of his shinobi training; you can't be impatient on the field. Well, unless you're future Sakura, I guess, but even she knew when the right time to strike was when it came down to a serious fight.

"We're lucky Mira-sensei is reasonable." I replied.

"Or irresponsible. What jounin doesn't eat before a mission? _I_ ate." Yusui grumped with an annoyed wave of his hand.

"What do you guys think our mission will be?" Yusuke placed his hands in his pockets as he walked past villagers going about their business. His eyes glazed over as he silently came up with different answers to his own question.

"It's pointless to wonder. We'll never know until we see hokage-sama."

"It won't be a D-rank, for sure, though." I snickered, because _duh_ that's established already.

Yusui glared at me.

"We were told that practically a year ago." He grouched and I smirked. He glared back, realizing I was being annoying on purpose.

"C-ranks are usually escorts, deliveries and supply drop-offs right?" Yusuke asked.

"Basically. We might get stuck with a snobby noble with his hands in a dirty trade, or with some small-time princess." I speculated, throwing ideas out.

"Think she likes green eyes?" Yusuke grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. I gave him a flat look.

"For real, Yusuke?"

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Maybe it'll be a prince with a thing for redheads." He teased with a shrug.

"Tch. As if _anyone_ wants obnoxious hair like that. Speaking of which, are you planning on wearing a wig? You'll stick out like a sore thumb with your head so bright."

"Shut up, Yusui, you're just jealous because I don't look _boring_ —no offense, Yusuke, for not being a redhead— and _no_ I'm not disguising my hair. I like it. It's staying." I declared and crossed my arms.

"Tch."

Yusuke snickered, but Yusui didn't bother remarking, because we reached the market. It was _packed._ However, a lot of the people were passing through, clearly on their way to the Uchiha district, judging by the street they were walking towards. You have to go up Crisp Street to get to the winding road that leads to the Uchiha district.

"Look at them. They don't even bother funding Konoha. The Uchiha take everything." Yusui spat.

Oh _hell. To. The. No._

My anger sky-rocketed and Yusuke opened his mouth to remedy the situation but I beat him to it.

" _Racists_ shouldn't open their mouths about finance or politics without having the right information." I snapped out and Yusui angrily stopped in the middle of the market, causing people to swim past us as if we were stones to a school of fish underwater. I stopped. Yusuke stopped. Time was even courteous enough to seem like it stopped.

It was _on,_ according to Yusui's poisonous glare.

"And biased _fools_ have no place scolding others."

"I'm not _biased_. You're just an idiot and you don't know how finances work! These people have to go through Konoha's market to get to the district, which shouldn't even be a thing, by the way, so what makes you think they don't stop and buy breakfast or other things on their way there? Besides, there is still a tax in place. You think the Uchiha don't pay their dues? You think that they avoid adding tax to their products? The district's businesses are Uchiha-owned but that doesn't mean that they don't contribute to Konoha's bank in some way!"

"Tch, of _course_ you don't see the underneath. They _do_ take a huge chunk of their profits to pay themselves, why do you think their buildings are so fancy? You're so blinded by your stupid infatuation with Uchiha Itachi that you don't see the pit of snakes that place is! You might as well be one of _them!_ "

"The money they spend for maintenance and construction goes to the paychecks of the general Konoha public who work on the buildings! You would know that if you had got your head out of your rear end and went there once or twice to see the way it is! And I have no ' _infatuation'_ you idiot!"

"Yeah, okay, they _force_ those people into labor with their police! It may as well be slavery!"

"That's a wild and racist accusation and it's people like you talking crap that makes other people ostracize them! You're fueling the tension and you think you're right when you're no—

" _Guys!_ "

I totally forgot Yusuke was there. He was pissed now and we had a huge crowd watching us, waiting for us to get into a fight. Looking at Yusui, I realized he had his hand close to his lower back where the hilt of his Katana rested. My chakra was roiling beneath my skin and one of my palms had automatically gone to the seal stitched into my pants at my hip. I didn't even realize we had gotten into our battle stances. I was shaking with adrenaline and rage.

It wasn't _just._ His way of thinking wasn't _just._ I slid my eyes to Yusuke, who softened his expression as he put a hand on each of our shoulders. I didn't even realize how close to Yusui's face I had gotten. I could smell the mint of his toothpaste on his breath. He was trying to steady his breath and numb his feelings, his anger. I met his golden eyes again with fierce defiance.

"If I wasn't stuck with you, I wouldn't work with you to save my _life!_ " He spat.

Well, fuck you too, brat!

"You're not _worth_ being friends with anyway." I replied coldly, then shrugged Yusuke's hand off of my shoulder. The crowd parted for me as I walked through. They whispered insults and derisive opinions about how he should have just slit my throat when he had the chance. They can go suck on the same Dick as Yusui. Fuck them all.

* * *

The trip to the restaurant and back was silent and awkward. It was the first time I've seen Yusuke so quiet, which I don't blame him for. Unresolved racism and clashing opinions can make anyone stuck in the middle of it all uncomfortable.

I was tired of being angry by the time we were on our way back to the hokage tower. Mira-sensei had flashed her chakra like a beacon three times like she said she would and we slightly pushed past people to get to her in the stairwell, almost at the landing to the third floor. She took one look at the three of us and realized what happened, but didn't ask any questions. Either now wasn't the time to be a parent and scold us or she just didn't care as long as it didn't affect the mission.

Probably the latter.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, basically. For now we were gucci. Professionalism first; feelings later.

I sensed Itachi and his team nearing us, so I guess they got their assignment. Apparently my friend sensed me too because as soon as he rounded the curved wall, his eyes were on me and he was smiling as kindly as usual, though the nervous emotion in his dark eyes was not lost on me.

Shima's teal eyes sparkled with excitement next to him. Her white ponytail and side bangs bounced around her gleaming forehead protector in as much excitement as she emitted. Utau had tied her hair into twin, low tails, but she looked badass with red, Madara-esque metal plating covering some of her outfit. She glared at Itachi as he stopped in front of me in his usual clothes plus metal arm guards.

"Our plans are shot." I assumed; we wouldn't be meeting up tomorrow like we intended. He nodded and held up three fingers.

"Three days." That was all he could give me about his mission just as his sensei caught up to his team. He was tall and bulky with sharp, blue eyes and long, dark hair tied in a low ponytail; an exact copy of future-Itachi's hair style.

I nodded in response and held out my forearm as his team watched. Itachi smiled again and bumped his forearm with mine.

"I expect you back in one piece." I smirked, but my sure tone of voice was a total front. I've changed so much behind the scenes, who knows if Itachi's life will still play out the same? Jiji was out of the office that whole time we were training. He wasn't the one doing his papers. Who knows how the field outside of Konoha's walls looks like now that he wasn't controlling every little thing like he would have been in cannon? Though, I could be wrong, too. Maybe all the important stuff was left to him to work on at night and he _did_ still make all the crucial decisions he did in canon or something.

There is some hope.

Itachi shot me a smile filled with reassurance and nodded. His response was clear: _You too._

I gave Utau a serious nod as well. I don't give a shit how petty and competitive she wants to be on a daily basis, she's going to be in the field with _my best friend_. She _better_ have his back.

With wide eyes she nodded. She realized that there can be no more bullshit. We're not academy kids anymore. My message was understood, loud and clear, even though it was soundless.

"Take care." Itachi replied meaningfully, and he eyed my two teammates. It was meant more for them than for me; _Take care of Yuzuha_ , _too._

"Yeah, man. You too." Yusuke replied as Yusui kept his bad mouth shut. "And you two be good." He winked at Utau and Shima with a thumbs up. "No cat fights over Itachi-san!" He joked.

"What a dumb thing to say." Utau sighed as she crossed her arms but her cheeks were red. Yusuke successfully flustered her. Shima snickered though.

"Yeah okay, the only fights we're getting into are with the enemy. Don't get ahead of yourself imagining things you shouldn't." She slyly replied in defense of her teammate. She looked like a pleased cat with her arms crossed and a smug expression.

" _H-hey_! I didn't mean to say _that,_ I—

Yusuke sputtered and blushed as the girls laughed. He knew he was defeated as they walked away and kept his mouth shut in defeat. Itachi waved with a genuine smile; his mood improved thanks to Yusuke's goofiness. As he walked away, his sensei remained, eyes locked with Mira-sensei's.

I felt awkward because clearly they knew each other based off of their expressions. Judging by their feelings, they _definitely_ had a history.

"West." Itachi's sensei murmured.

Mira-sensei's blue eyes narrowed poisonously.

"I don't care." She snipped back and then turned to open the container of food I was already holding out for her, completely in anticipation of her biting remark. Whatever happened between those two at some point, it was ugly. He felt guilty and right now, Mira-sensei felt… well, everything a woman feels when she's heartbroken and wronged. I've been there and it's an ugly emotional state to be in.

Maybe he cheated? 'Not like it's right to ask…

Itachi's sensei nodded his head at me and my wary teammates, accepting the big "fuck you" from his former flame, and left without another word. I didn't dare say anything about it, because I was not about to shake up the storm inside Mira-sensei, but of course, Yusuke decided that he would.

"Was that your ex boyfriend or something?"

I wanted to face palm. Instead, I watched as Mira-sensei stabbed a piece of meat with the point ends of her chopsticks. Ouch. Her emotions cooled to being almost nonexistent, which was scarier than the way she was seconds ago, to be honest. She smiled at Yusuke.

"Yes, actually he is. Give him hell next time you see him if you feel like it." She instructed with a shrug, confidence creeping back into her heart, and again, I liked her style. She wouldn't go out of her way to ruin his day, but left the option on the table incase we wanted to. Very manipulative, considering the fact that we're all younger than twelve and our immaturity might just get the best of us.

"Great. Where does he live?" Yusuke grinned, punching his open palm with his fist.

Yusui snorted.

"Which of his friends would you like us to harass?"

What a mean kid. 'Best way to hurt someone is to hurt someone they love, huh?

Mira-sensei chuckled.

"I think I'm starting to like you guys."

* * *

I stood patiently next to my teammates as Jiji furiously and efficiently stamped papers, hard at work. I usually saw him in the earlier part of the evening and he never had any paperwork to do then, and now I know why. He was hustlin' and I doubt he'll stop to eat lunch hours from now. I feel bad and if I could, I'd run to the market right now and get him his favorite meal. Unfortunately, I was stuck watching him internally suffer.

We were waiting for our client, the one we were supposed to escort to some village on the fringe of fire country. Apparently it was some noble out to give a speech to a princess and her people on behalf of the daimyo. Our job was to escort the noble to the village, guard him during his speech, and then escort him back to the capital where he presided; typical security work for a cushioned client. It's a boring mission, but that's expected; it's our first mission.

I really hope everything goes well. I have faith in my teammates, despite Yusui being a dick. It would suck if any of us died, though. I mean, we haven't even taken our team photo yet. I'll be really salty if we don't survive long enough to take a picture; that's just embarrassing.

Normally, any team would take their picture right after passing their sensei's trial. However, there was clearly some mystery emergency that happened recently that required the cavalry, and that was us at this point; elite genin that they could risk doing c-rank missions.

Photos could come afterwards.

Just as my attention span began to wander, the doorknob to the door on the adjacent wall to the main entrance of jiji's office jiggled. It was a secret passageway of sorts that only clients could take to avoid lines like the one that built up downstairs. It also served as an escape route, incase jiji needed one. It looked like a closet, but the back wall was removable.

A well-dressed man gently pushed some coats on their hangers aside, and walked through the door with a young girl our age at his side, also well dressed. One anbu operative accompanied them on the left, robotic and calm. He wasn't built, but you could tell that he could kill you faster than you could blink.

The man looked to be in his late thirties. His hair was brown, greying at the temples and a little in his mustache. He didn't wear a traditional kimono; his outfit was composed of elegant red and white robes. His daughter also wore red and white, though she was decked out in a fancy dress and white flats dipped in gold. Her hair was long and dark and she had it pulled back into an intricate do composed of braids with silver beads woven into them. Both of their eyes were hazel and round, their family resemblance.

"Hokage-dono." The man greeted. His daughter silently executed a perfect curtsy and jiji nodded his head.

"I've put together a team of elite genin for you. My own granddaughter will be protecting you, and Ume-san is one of my top jounin."

Ume-san? When Mira-sensei nodded her head, I realized that that was going to be her codename on this mission. It makes sense. She's a higher-level ninja. Why would he give her real name out?

"Susume-chan." Jiji chimed, making sharp eye contact with me.

Oh. Okay, so now we're protecting my identity, too. I gave a respectful bow.

"I promise to do my best." I vowed. It would be stupid to give the real name of Konoha's jinchuriki as well. If anything, he might be intentionally leaking out false information. Jiji is playing it smart; not surprising, since we are at war.

"And three children will be enough? They must be Ayame-chan's age." He frowned beneath his mustache, a skeptical expression on his face. At least he isn't rude about it. We _are_ young.

"Believe me, with Ume-san they are more than enough. I would have sent her individually, but I figured I could put in a little extra protection for our _valued_ clientele."

Ah, jiji. You slick businessman. Butter him up! Next time he won't mind paying double. Flustered, the man blushed and coughed.

"Ar-hm! Well, thank you hokage-dono." He tried to act regal, though it was obvious he's a genuinely good guy. Interesting, considering the fact that I thought the nobles of the Capitol would be stuck up. He seemed to have a humble upbringing and hopefully, he wasn't spoiling his daughter. I might lose my shit if I get lip from her.

"You can set out immediately."

What? We haven't even packed our shit!

"Hai." My two teammates and sensei replied without hesitation.

"Dismissed."

"If you'll follow me, your lordship." Mira-sensei politely urged. The man nodded, took his daughter—Ayame— by the hand and followed us out the door.

"We meet at the gate in ten minutes. Your time starts now." Mira-sensei spoke and we shot off like rockets down the stairs, avoiding many teams of genin and their senseis and other people with important business.

The test from yesterday was worth going through. If it wasn't for Mira-sensei's brutal instruction yesterday, we'd have no idea what to do now. She was attentive, too, noticing that we weren't ready, despite the fact that we all rightfully should have been ready from the moment we left our houses.

I left the seals with all my mission stuff in them at home, like a true flunkie; totally embarrassing and not worth running so far on a ten minute time constraint for.

Thank god Itachi and Shisui helped me set up my emergency get-out-of-the-house-fast seals. All I would have to do is stop by my apartment, open up a drawer and run to the gates. If I ran fast enough I'd be at the gates in six minutes.

And that's exactly what happened. I arrived at the gate, seals stacked in my pouch next to my kunai, shuriken, smoke bombs and ninja wire.

I would have stacked some poisons in there too, but I'm not focusing on that field right now.

You know, I was an English major before I died. I could have been a doctor. I highly considered med school, but realized that without some sort of external financial support I'd be fucked. I would need to work because mommy wouldn't provide her support; no way in hell, and daddy walked out when I was six and didn't pay a dime of child support, so that was a dead end. When I was in middle school I wanted to be a combat medic for the army but when I was permanently put on meds, no thanks to my stress-induced epilepsy, that dream was snuffed out.

Then I found out that it was easy for me to figure people out. For some reason, I knew things other people my age and sometimes older than me didn't know. I got into anime and writing and then discovered fanfiction, which all became my escape from the abuse, bullying and bullshit.

Then, of course, I grew up and died. At twenty-four. Without my fuckin' degree… Because of damn _fuzzy socks._ And you guys know the rest.

Anyway, I got to the gates first, and leaned against a tree nearby. Konoha's main entrance was guarded by two jounin, standing imposingly at its sides— a clear threat—and two anbu hidden in the trees, one just outside the gate, another just inside, not too far from where I stood.

There were two chunin manning the booth on the side of the road, one more experienced than the other, based on their chakra networks. Also, there were deadly sentinels positioned in the woods outside the curved walls, one every mile. They rotate every twenty-six minutes; and yes, I _have_ observed them before. It was a smart tactic.

Infiltrators would assume rotations would be every hour or half hour. They wouldn't expect twenty-six minutes. Also, spread apart every mile, and rotating, the sentinels basically covered every square inch of the village perimeter. They have the village covered as best as possible. The only thing they have to worry about is an aerial attack but I'm sure there are shinobi within the village that are watching the skies.

Konoha must be making some decent cash if jiji can afford that kind of security while fighting a war.

At the ten minute mark, both Yusuke and Yusui appeared at the gate. Yusuke was out of breath and Yusui was smirking.

"You kept up." Our designated team asshole seemed pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah, duh. _And_ I didn't have my stuff pre-packed, either. I would have been here sooner if I didn't have to run all over the house to get my stuff." Yusuke took a huge breath in through his mouth and exhaled slowly, making unintentional whistling sounds.

"Took ya guys long enough." I snickered.

Yusuke glared.

"Shut up, Red."

We waited in silence, listening to Yusuke's breathing regulate.

"So what's up with the codenames? I guess hokage-sama wants us to be under cover?" Yusuke asked when he finally relaxed.

"He probably has everyone under cover." The unspoken "idiot" after Yusui's reply was palpable and Yusuke glared at him, ready to shoot something back, but I spoke up first.

"We have to come to a decision on what to call Mira-sensei."

"Shouldn't we call her 'Ume-sensei'…?" Yusuke seemed confused as he made eye contact with me.

"See that's the thing; I don't think it's professional enough-tteba _ne_?"

"Mm. I think Ume-sempai is more correct. Hokage-sama seemed like he wanted us to put on a bit of a show…" Yusui agreed.

"Alright, I have no objections. 'Ume-sempai' it is!" Yusuke agreed with a smile. "It's going to be hard to call you 'Susume' so I'm just gonna use 'Red' if that's alright."

I shrugged.

"I don't see a problem with that." Both Yusuke and I looked to Yusui to see if he had any objections. He shrugged, giving no fucks as usual.

About five minutes later, Mira-sensei showed up, accompanying the man and Ayame, his daughter. It was strange. We didn't know much about him but he didn't know much about us, either. This was totally uncannon, not knowing that much about a client, but in cannon, Konoha wasn't at war in Naruto's generation. Protocol does state that in wartime the sharing of information should be limited, even insignificant details.

Ayame stared at us wide-eyed and so did her father. She wriggled free of his hand, much to Mira-sensei's irritation, and ran up to me, blushing. She refused to make eye contact with Yusuke and Yusui.

"Anno… how did you guys get here so fast…Susume-nee-san…?"

I gave her a small smile.

"We're ninjas and we're awesome, that's how." I explained. She blushed again and giggled.

"That's so cool! I want to be that fast one day. You must feel like a bird! Or a horse!"

More like a cheetah, since we can kill, too, but a horse will do, right?

"Yeah, I guess." I half-agreed.

"Su, take up the rear. Yusui, I want you on the left. Yusuke, you're on the right. Tondo-san and Ayame-san will be in the middle. I lead; you follow. Any questions?" Mira-sensei commanded our group, turning from the polite escort she had been into the fierce "jounin" she was contracted to be.

"Hai! Ume-sempai!" We chimed and immediately got into our places. Mira-sensei took the lead and we were off at a painfully slow pace.

Have you ever played a video game where your character has to follow a civilian or NPC somewhere? And your character is like 20x faster than the NPC? And you have to struggle to _not_ press the control stick forward too hard to keep pace with them…? Well yeah, this is kind of like that. I want them to hurry up, but I know it's not possible.

So far nothing is going on. All I could sense is the sentinels surrounding the village perimeter getting further and further away. I wonder if we're going to be roughing it in the woods or staying at inns… I resisted the urge to ask, trying to look as professional as possible.

Well, turns out, that night we were sleeping outside like dogs; not that I was upset about it. I happened to like nature and woods and stuff. I just _hate_ mosquitos because for some reason they absolutely adore me. In Konoha, there aren't any. Period. My running theory is that the Aburame clan keeps them away, but I'm not sure. Either way, they were biting the hell out of me tonight as I tried to sleep behind some bushes against a tree near the inn in the village Tondo-san and his daughter decided to stay at.

After a day of travel, we ended up far from Konoha, and walking through little villages with tiny populations. Tondo-san decided that he had enough of "roughing it in secrecy" by around six, and then declared that he would hire a carriage the next day.

I doubt he'll find one anywhere here in this secluded little village but whatever. The man can have his dreams.

Mira-sensei was sleeping on the roof, Yusuke was hidden in a tree branch opposite of the side of the building I was near and Yusui was wide awake towards the back of the building, hidden in some bushes, on first watch.

Yusuke and Mira-sensei were knocked out. I, of course, had to be plagued with bloodsucking little demons and insomnia. Yay me.

I swatted one of the little buggers and smeared his mangled corpse against the tree trunk supporting my back and head.

If this keeps up I'm going to start giving them names. The bushes near me rustled, but I wasn't scared. I sensed Yusui coming. He stepped into my tiny territory and crossed his arms. His eyes seemed to glow in the darkness of the woods.

You know, I can't ever explain to you how dark it is at night in this world. You can see the stars in the sky; all of them, and believe me there are many. There's no light pollution here like there is where I'm from. You have lights everywhere, on all the time from stadiums to street lights to car headlights. You never really get a good amount of darkness to really appreciate the sky.

Tonight there was a crescent moon, not as thin as it should be before there is to be no moon, though, and the lack of light brought out the honey glow in my asshole teammate's eyes. Seriously, his eyes were his only good feature. Period. Maybe his skills too. But no more than that.

"What?" I asked, not amused. I was getting cranky. Not getting sleep when you want and need it can make anyone irritable enough to snap.

"You're going to put us at risk if you don't sleep." I guess he was close enough to sense my chakra not at rest.

"Oh excuse me while I snap my fingers and sleep on command." I bit back. He sighed, and for a second it looked like his attitude dropped. His expression softened a little and he seemed to be struggling between bring civil and being a dick.

"Do you want to switch watch, then? You can take the first shift. This way you'll be tired enough to sleep afterwards because honestly, I'm going to drop soon. We're going to screw up the mission if we don't fix this."

"Yeah, sounds good. I was debating on switching with you, too. I just didn't feel like dealing with your attitude." I replied as I used the tree trunk to get up.

"Screw you too, fox-girl." He glared at me. I ignored his jab. He can call me what ever names he wants.

"There are a lot of mosquitos. I'd be able to fall asleep if it weren't for the mosquitos. Maybe they just like this area, I don't know. Just figured I'd warn you-ttebane."

He waved his hand, derisively shooing me away. We said no more as I passed him and took his place in the bushes behind the building.

The watch was boring. No one stirred. There was nothing out of the ordinary …for a while. I sensed someone coming, moving at a high speed; not Mira-sensei or Shisui fast, but definitely fast. The person, definitely male as I shut my eyes and focused on him, was accompanied with one female and another male. The other two were coming in from different angles. Each person was separated by a few miles in between. If they kept moving each of them would hit one of the four walls of the inn, minus the wall with the entrance on it.

I didn't sense much of anything but nervousness from them. The male in the center, his chakra reminded me of fall leaves, like those papery-dry leaves that are fun to step on.

The female, her chakra was like a metal spring, coiled tight and dangerous if released incorrectly.

The other male, his chakra was soft, like your favorite pillow; unless you like hard pillows, of course.

Quickly, I made my way over to Yusui. He rolled onto one of his knees with a jolt as I landed next to him. His kunai was out and pointing at my knee cap. Had his eyes not focused on me when they did, I'd be fucked.

"We have guests. You get Mira-sensei. I'll wake Yusuke." I instructed.

He nodded, turned and vacated his hiding spot.

He started running up the wall to the roof of the inn, which was only three stories tall, so he didn't have far to go. I bolted to the west side of the building and kicked the tree trunk of Yusuke's tree hard enough for him to drop down next to me lightning-fast. He had a kunai to my throat, just like Yusui in less than two seconds, but I trusted him to stop short. I had to.

"What's up Red? Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" He asked and pulled the kunai away from the side of my throat, nonchalantly spinning it around his index finger as if he _didn't_ intend to cut my throat. I turned around to face him.

"We're having some uninvited guests. We have minutes until they get here. Let's meet Mira-sensei and Yusui on the roof."

He nodded, grasping his knife by the hilt with determined green eyes, and we took off, arriving on the shingled roof in seconds. Mira-sensei stood there, waiting for an explanation as she fixed the side of her short hair. Some of it had fallen over onto the shaved half of her head and it was clearly bothering her more than the situation at hand; my role model.

I should be uneasy, but I found that I couldn't be. The situation seems as unreal as this world did when I first woke up in it.

"Three incoming. Seems like they're closing in on the building. They're a little nervous, so maybe they're just genin or chunin." I explained. Mira-sensei nodded.

"Should we set up traps since we have some time?" Yusuke suggested. We all looked to Mira-sensei for instructions.

"No. Just hide. I don't want to sense a scintilla of you guys. I'll stick to Tondo and his girl. You guys hear or see anything suspicious, you come running. Got me?" She asked, blue eyes serious and intimidating.

"Hai!" We replied in unison and went back to our positions. It was easy for me to suppress myself. It always has been. Yusuke, though… not so much, but he was good enough, I guess.

The three "hostiles" closed in on our position and I could do nothing but close my eyes and monitor every. Single. Movement.

One whizzed right past me; the female.

Another shot right past Yusui and bounced off the wall of the inn, setting only one foot on the dirt road in front of it, and shooting into the woods beyond like a rocket.

The third one would have missed Yusuke, but he sensed him and skidded to a halt.

Fuck.

The other two seemed to notice the absence of their teammate and paused in their positions on the tree branches they were leaping through.

Shit.

Within seconds, Yusui and I shot off towards Yusuke's location from our hiding spots.

Mira-sensei stood quietly where she was, perfumed chakra slowly rolling underneath her skin like smoke. She would intervene if necessary. I don't think the enemy has sensed her yet.

Yusuke and the male clashed, just as I took off. I stopped short when I got to my teammate, just as he leapt back away from the male with a clanging sound of metal on metal. He, Yusui and I had our backs to each other in a flash, forming a tight circle. Yusuke already had his hands up in a tiger sign. His chakra was prepared to mold at his whim and Yusui had his katana out. I had armed myself with two kunai in my left hand and didn't dare to breathe as my team stared their team down.

They were from Kiri, based on their mostly blue clothing, which was dumb to wear on a mission to fucking fire country, if you ask me. The girl had a blue camo tunic with poofy sleeves. It only covered her chest. The rest of her torso was covered in white bandages and her calf-length pants matched her top. Her hair was an ashy dark brown and she had tied it up into a sleek ballerina bun, with her forehead protector acting as a hair tie. Her eyes were olive and dangerous, and she wielded a katana, like Yusui.

I probably felt his stare on her more than she did. If something happens, she's his target.

The male on the right that spotted Yusuke wore a grungy, navy body suit that he covered with an ashy-blue jacket with a bunch of zippers and stitches on it. His short sandal-boots flared out at the tops, and his weapons were attached around his waist, acting as a belt right beneath his forehead protector. His hair was blonde and his eyes were Uchiha black. He reminded me of a young Sho, except definitely not as cute.

The guy facing me wore a blue, striped tunic over a long-sleeved mesh, and navy pants tucked into tight, tall boots with metal shin guards. I spotted three pouches on his person in different spots and he wielded no weapons other than the chakra beneath his skin, which felt like it was about ready to jump out of his skin at us. His hair was black as night and his eyes were orange making him look like a walking Halloween, except nowhere near intentionally gory or cheesy.

He seemed to be the leader of their trio. He was pressured, stressed beyond belief and the other two seemed to be terrified now that they confronted us.

"You guys have no business with us." I explained. "Be on your way and we can forget this happened." I almost whispered into the night. The last thing we needed was a jutsu-fight between Halloween and Yusuke right next to the inn. Besides, everything you're ever taught in grade school about confrontation is to talk it out. Might as well try to be peaceful, right?

I was thanking God that my voice didn't quiver. Halloween narrowed his eyes.

"'Just so happens you had the misfortune of being spotted by us. We can't let you go." He tried closing the conversation and put his hands into the tiger sign, causing Yusuke's shoulders to tense against my back, but I held up my hand.

" _Technically_ , we should have and could have killed you seconds ago. Tell you what, since we're being nice, how about you be nice to us too?"

"Fuck you Konoha _swine_! I'll be damned if I let any one of you fuckers go after what you did to oka-san!" The girl screamed and her chakra lashed out at my senses like a razorblade slasher in the subways of New York City.

I would say "What the fuck" but is this really a surprise? This is the hatred everyone talks about in the series. Shit, I don't even know her mother, yet she's blaming me. It's idiocy. And you guys _know_ I don't tolerate stupidity.

"I don't eve—

I was about to reason with her and tell her that I didn't even know her mother and show her the flaw in her thought process, but her hand tightened on her katana and Yusui, the dick, cut me off and lunged right for her, sword ready to clash with hers. No one wanted to talk this out.

Well, fuck 'em. What else can ya do?

The moment Yusui twitched was the moment both our team and theirs went into action. Yusuke lunged for the guy in front of him, while I shot towards Halloween, who was starting to weave signs lightning fast.

"Suiton: suidan no jutsu!" I heard him hiss to focus his mind on the attack he wanted to create.

This is where I realized that we might just be fucked. Halloween and his crew were older than us by a few years. They must be twelve or something. They're more experienced, number one, and number two, he definitely has more chakra at his disposal than I do. I can't make water yet. He can. Big problem.

He shot a torrent of water at me, which I ducked under by dropping to my knees. I pulled out three shuriken from the stitched seal on my thigh and sent them, plus the two kunai I had, spinning towards his knee caps and groin.

There was a blip on my radar that I _didn't_ like. Apparently, this team was going to meet up with their sensei or team leader or mission captain or _whatever_ , but the motherfucker must have noticed that they were gone too long, because he shunshinned from about a mile into the woods right to our location.

I felt his chakra flicker towards Yusui, and I could do absolutely nothing but sense and mentally watch as Yusui's exposed back danced right in front of the jounin-level shinobi. I recovered and shot to my feet from my knees as soon as the jutsu trying to break my bones dissipated, straining my calf muscles in the process. The goal was to somehow make my way over to Yusui. He could sorta handle the girl, since she was wildly slashing at him. He was calm and she wasn't. He could get the advantage soon enough, but there is no way in hell he can handle a jounin at his back, not pulling any punches like Mira-sensei did our first exercise together.

Thankfully, our own elite team leader jumped into the fray as well and I saw sparks fly as her kunai struck the blade of a man several inches taller than her, dressed in mostly black and blue with his shaved head covered in a navy Kirigakure forehead protector worn as a bandana.

I have never felt her so angry, or seen her so murderous. She was _pissed_ and someone was going to die tonight. I prayed that it was none of us.

I abandoned my personal mission as soon as Mira-sensei's feet touched the ground and sent a roundhouse kick at Halloween, who switched to taijutsu now that he was forced into a close-quarters battle. I gave him a once-over very quickly and I saw that he had dodged most of my weapons. He must have jumped over them, but there was a nick in the shin guard of his left boot. One of the shuriken struck and if he wasn't wearing armor there I could've gotten some blood out of him.

He bent backwards, avoiding my foot, twirled and sent his own kick back towards me, with a few kunai that were quickly pulled out and thrown low.

I was lighter than he was so I flipped over the knives nimbly and effortlessly, simultaneously using his outstretched leg to push myself higher, as if I was vaulting over a wall with my hand.

His momentum, plus the force of my hand as I pushed off of his body, sent his foot careening into the grass beneath us, and he was forced to get down on one knee in some sort of gruesome version of a proposal. I felt his hands grab my haori as I was upside down in the air and I had no time to wiggle out of it, because he used his leverage to bring me back to the ground with an angry grunt full of effort.

My face smashed into the grass and I let out a grunt of pain as the blood and hurt rose to my cheeks, forehead and nose. I didn't let that stop me though. I continued his motion, scrambling out of my clothes, and using the momentum and force to roll to my knees. As I lifted my torso to be right with the world again, I summoned more weapons and threw two kunai at where his face was in my mind's eye, since my hair was still flailing in front of my eyes and I didn't trust them to hit the mark perfectly. He ducked backwards and they sailed over his face. I heard them hit a tree trunk with two, solid thumps that reminded me of the wooden targets at the training fields in Konoha.

"Raiton! Sandaboruto!"

Sparks of electricity flew towards Yusuke's opponent. In the corner of my eye, I saw total horror in the guy's face as Yusuke's lightning connected with his kunai. You can imagine what happened next.

He became a human lightning rod.

Lightning actually shot out of his open and free hand as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He shook and I looked away, but the smell of burning flesh saturated the air, reminding me what was going on anyway.

It was disgusting and I held back a gag as Halloween's attacks grew faster and angrier. I felt his heart break. It made me want to stop.

But I couldn't. It was life or death.

"Fuuton! Senpu Goheki!" A huge wave of chakra blanketed our area as Mira-sensei shot wind out of two metal fans in her hands. She blew back the jounin, who crossed his arms in defense and sailed into a tree.

"NOBOUUUUU!" The girl of the team shrieked in horror, and I felt her body stop in place as she looked at her teammate being electrocuted. She was emotionally unstable and now paralyzed with shock. I can't blame her. Everything happened so fast it was almost simultaneous. One second your teammate is alive, fighting at his full capability and then the next he's dead. It's enough to make anyone sick.

Yusui happened to take advantage of the girl's shock and horror. I spun to avoid a roundhouse kick and watched as he pushed his sword, quite effortlessly, through the side of her neck. He was graceful; 'made it look easy, even, but the force of his attack sent her head flying. Blood shot out of the neck of the decapitated corpse and the head spun as it flew through the air to eventually hit a tree trunk. It rolled into a bush somewhere with a final crinkle of crushed leaves.

My two teammates were at my side in a flash; Yusuke already weaving signs, his chakra a little low, and Yusui with angry honey eyes and a blood-stained blade.

Rage flashed through Halloween's pumpkin eyes as he flipped backwards to give himself the room he needed to weave signs that I had been barring him from having.

Just as Yusuke reached the last few hand signs, Mira-sensei grunted from somewhere behind us. We heard a thump and the cracks of a tree trunk, and just as Yusui was about to hack at Halloween with me in tow with my kunai, a huge jet of water slashed in front of us, breaking the ground beneath our feet.

"Wha~oooh!" I wobbled, Yusui had to jump to the side to avoid falling and Yusuke tripped on a loose rock, losing his balance, concentration and jutsu all at once. The telltale hiss of a smoke bomb went off just as I dragged Yusuke to his feet by his jacket, and we all caught sight of the jounin booking it over the roof of the inn, the girl's head under his arm. In his right hand, he clutched Nobou's corpse by his jacket and what was left of the girl by her sleeve. Halloween was unconscious, and hanging over his left shoulder.

He was retreating. Protocol States that unless they have vital information, or a mission item, or are the target of a mission, we defer to our team leader.

So none of us even breathed and when I looked around, my teammates were shaking. I looked at my own body and noticed my arms quivering as well. None of us could help it.

"Susume. Put out the fire with that puddle orange-eyes made. Yusui, Yusuke. Clean up as much of the rubble as you can. Make it look like we weren't here. We meet on the roof in fifteen." Mira-sensei's voice cut through the air the same way Yusui's katana cut through the girl's head. She snapped her tessen shut and I heard her take two steps before she disappeared.

Her commands were cold and steely, but they weren't meant to be that way. Our minds were fucked. It was our first mission and we had seen and caused death and worst of all we didn't even know why. What was the point of any of that? Mira-sensei gave us tasks that would focus us and keep us in the game. We needed those orders.

I sensed her in the room with Tondo-san and his daughter, checking up on them. They were still asleep, as was most of the inn. Our fight was mostly silent. Aside from a few flashes of light and sounds of wood splitting we made no noise. The people sleeping at the Inn were oblivious and rightfully so. Had there been any other shinobi in the area though… it would have been a different story.

As soon as Mira-sensei was gone Yusuke fell to his knees next to me, palms on the ground, shaking all over. Yusui was leaning against a tree trunk, his sword arm and blade trembling like a leaf in a storm and his palm clutching the steel of his forehead protector.

They had killed. Yusuke lost his shit and started to cry, quietly. It was so silent where we were, I could hear his tears drip onto the ground. His sharp intakes of breath seemed to blend with the slight breeze in the area. Yusui slid down the bark of the tree, and fell onto his backside, holding his head, sword still clutched in his hand like a lifeline.

I didn't know how to comfort them. What can I possibly say, "it's okay?" This is _not_ okay.

Most human beings look to touch for comfort so I kneeled, slowly, next to Yusuke, and pulled his quivering body into my lap. Embarassed, he placed his face into his hands and cried into my tiny thighs. I rubbed his back as he tried to keep his sobs quiet.

"Why did I do that?" Yusui whispered to himself.

It was his fault wasn't it? He moved and started it. But, that girl was pissed off. If he hadn't made the first move, she would have; was probably going to anyway. She was _too_ ready for his attack. At the end of the day, their movements were almost simultaneous, but he stopped her attack with his own.

"She was going to attack anyway." I whispered back. "You did what you had to."

I was replied to with silence and then bent over to hug my crying teammate. Like a pup separated from his mother, he turned and clung to me, holding me tighter in an effort to keep himself together.

I waited as a few minutes ticked past, keeping myself together, shakiness and all.

"Guys, we still have orders." I spoke as quietly and quickly as I could. We still have shit to do; this is a mission… _and_ I want to get the fuck out of this mess and meet up with Mira-sensei. Right now, her location is a safe spot and though our skirmish is long over, who the hell knows if anyone else is going to randomly show up to fuck the rest of our night up? I glanced back and forth between my teammates as I mentally felt for any shinobi-esque chakra signatures. Yes, if you're wondering, I _am_ paranoid.

Yusui got up wordlessly and after another few seconds, Yusuke rubbed his tears off on his sleeve, gave me one last tight hug and got up. I wove signs and lifted the puddle of water left behind by Halloween. The small clearing was in a state of disrepair. There were cracks in several tree trunks where Mira-sensei's vicious wind attack connected and spots on others where bark was falling off from various different impacts. Yusuke's lightning had set a bush and some dry leaves on fire, so I put out the flames and started to gather my haori and the weapons strewn about.

Yusuke and Yusui picked up uneven chunks of earth and hid them in bushes, broke off and tucked away cracked branches, and peeled off some more bark to make the missing wood on some of the trees look natural. They scattered leaves to make the terrain look untouched and we headed out of the foliage and climbed up the back wall of the inn. Mira-sensei stood there, waiting with crossed arms.

"Who screwed up where." It wasn't a question; her arms were confidently crossed. It was a command. The tension between us four suddenly tripled and my muscles tightened in response to the change in the air.

"I did." Yusuke sounded too mature for his boyish voice as he took responsibility for his actions. "I didn't hide my chakra well enough."

There were a few beats of silence.

"Maybe. But that's not it." Mira-sensei replied.

"I attacked first." Yusui admitted, despite my earlier reassurances. He was ashamed.

Mira-sensei shook her head.

"The fight had started before then." She reminded, as if she had witness Yusuke and the crispy kid lock blades herself.

"…" We were all quiet. But then it hit me. I knew where we fucked up.

"I didn't strike first." I whispered.

The shinobi life is vicious, isn't it? Mira-sensei was right. The fight had _already begun_. Why didn't I just attack on sight when I arrived there?

Our superior nodded.

"You all at least know your faults. There is _no room_ for negotiations in the field. You three were lucky that that team wasn't experienced. Had they been advanced chunin or any wiser you'd all be severely injured or dead for your hesitation. Now that our faults are established, what were theirs?"

"They let their emotions run their actions." Yusui spoke, his confidence back now that he was sure the whole thing wasn't his fault entirely.

"Yes." Her arms dropped and the tension between us all evaporated. The relief was amazing. "Yusuke?" She asked.

"They weren't coordinated well. The other two didn't come until a short while after they noticed their teammate hadn't met up with them." Yusuke professionally replied.

"Yes. And you?" She nodded towards me, breeze shifting her bangs around her slender face.

"They stopped to fight in the first place."

"Precisely. Let's go over the facts. Regardless of where you are from and where you currently are, nation-wise, if your mission is to retrieve something and report back, it is unwise to stop and fish an enemy out of their hiding spot. For all that boy knew, Yusuke could have been asleep, or _worse_ , he could have been a high-level jounin. That kid's team could have left without bloodshed if he had ignored his pride, or whatever was in his retarded mind when he made his decision. He was disobedient and foolish and paid the price. They should not have been a team with that kind of disorganization and misconduct, which shows you where exactly Kirigakure is lacking. That being said, I don't _ever_ want to see you three make these mistakes. _Ever_. Because if you do, you will end up exactly like that team. Understood?"

We nodded simultaneously, and Yusui raised his hand for permission to speak. Mira-sensei nodded at him.

"If they have something of ours, shouldn't we have gone after them?" He asked. And he had a good point. I was wondering the same thing.

"Normally, yes. But there are Konoha forces in the west at the borders that will dispatch of them. It is highly unlikely that they will get past the border… or anywhere near it with that skill level."

So they were going to die one way or another anyway... We didn't even have to fight them! What the _fuck_!

But then again, if we didn't they would have either killed us, or fought our allies further out west near the border, putting other Konoha lives at risk.

As gruesome as it sounds…Mira-sensei may have even _wanted_ us to fight them, for experience. She may have wanted us to dip our feet into the bloodshed that this world is. No _wonder_ she didn't step in until later, when someone we weren't a match for arrived. She wanted to desensitize us to the death and pointlessness of the shinobi system… of this world.

…

Well, better sooner than later, I guess. It was brutal and cruel of her, but what choice does she have as a sensei and a team leader? This is a low-rank mission; it's better for us to experience death and gore now, while it's relatively safe enough to, than have to go through it later on a higher-ranked mission where the shock of the ordeal could get us killed.

I think she saw the realization in my face, because she met my eyes evenly and nodded. That _was_ her plan. Hell, if that jounin hadn't arrived she may have just stayed in the room to let us handle the entire fight ourselves. My teammates were looking down. Yusuke's fists were clenched and Yusui looked irritated.

Are they realizing the same things, too?

How can anyone find reason in any of this? There was no point to us fighting that team. None. If they had moved on instead of stopping… if we had been better hidden… if that jounin had shown up earlier… if Mira-sensei had come out first and incapacitated them instead of letting us deal with it… so many ifs.

You know… you don't really think about the harshness of this world when you're trying to save the people you love in it. I was okay so far, focusing only on getting stronger and bettering the lives of my friends and family and other "characters" I liked. I wasn't prepared for _this._ Naruto _isn't_ all about the power of friendship and rainbows and glitter and stuff. There really _is_ a problem that warrants the struggle for peace in the series; Kishimoto just didn't give enough examples… no _direct_ examples from Naruto's point of view, anyway.

I don't know if your mind is blown, but mine is. There was no point to that fight. It started purely from our countries being enemies and from that girl hating us for something another Konoha shinobi did to her family out of _necessity…_ out of their _duty_ to their country.

Hatred.

It started from hatred.

Just how the hell did Naruto manage to fix all this with just a few inspirational speeches?

* * *

Well that was one hell of a chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it at work, school, and every other time I needed to do something on my phone while waiting for something... and ignoring my assignments…

Those ever-present haunting assignments.

Please review.

Please?

I'm going to need opinions soon. Not exactly yet, but when this fic gets rolling… yeah. Your voices are going to be much needed. You'll understand when we get there.

Anyway, yeah!

Kthxbyeee

See ya later space cowboy!

Disclaimer- it would be cool for me to own Naruto. I'd have done a lot of things with it, but life doesn't like things to be cool for people as cool as me, so it never happened. Oh well.


	11. Calm Before the Storm

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

Okay so about **Itachi Shinden…** A lot of you guys mentioned that I should watch it, I finally did after this year from hell. I'm a little irritated at myself that this didn't come out earlier when I started this fic. Nonetheless, the differences between this story and cannon unfortunately at this point have to stay. I have a plan for this fic and it's going to follow this plan **however** _ **,**_ I will link up Itachi Shinden pretty closely. I promise there won't be _that much_ difference. I can't do anything about his team and his sensei at this point but I promise you guys will see the two plots link up. I just can't go back and erase Utau and Shima and Itachi's sensei.

 **That being said,** a very smart reviewer made a good point that I myself didn't even think of, which is rare, honestly. I _will_ post a **summary** of the main points of this story at the beginning of each chapter, especially after long breaks. I promise. It annoys the shit out of me too when I forget stuff about a person's story because they haven't updated in like, a year. I feel you, man; I feel you.

So that's what I'm going to do until my updates start being regular. Anytime I start to slip up again, feel free to ask for a summary in the next chapter and I'll refresh your memories.

 **So** now that I've gotten that out of the way, here's the first ever **summary**.

We are all familiar with the fact that Yuzuha wakes up in the Narutoverse. Her main goal is to first and foremost save the Uchiha and then erase Danzo off the face of the earth. She plans on dealing with Obito and Madara…somehow. Yuzuha is manipulative and intelligent and is willing to—plans to— lie, scheme, and fool people into falling into place so she can accomplish her goals.

Shisui becomes Yuzuha's first friend and after training together and building a friendship he introduces her to Itachi and his family. She instantly clicks with Mikoto because her appearance reminds her of Kushina—she uses that and Kushina's verbal tick to pull at heartstrings and manipulate—and becomes close friends with Itachi. Because she's an experienced shogi player thanks to her last life she wins over Fugaku by beating him in a shogi match at 6 years old.

Meanwhile, she gains Hiruzen's favor to the point where he sees her as a granddaughter and eventually becomes his student. The Uchiha family plotted with Hiruzen to throw her a birthday party in which they invited all of the clan heads, including Inoichi who had met her first before the others. This "party" became the first annual meeting between Hiruzen and the clan heads, where they all discuss political matters and bond over food and drinks, thus improving relationships between clan heads. During these meetings, Naruto and the Konoha 9—minus Kiba because Tsume doesn't like Yuzuha—play together and become friends. Naruto and Sasuke specifically become close because Yuzuha is sometimes allowed to bring her "brother" to the Uchiha main family household.

Because Itachi opted to take the graduation exam early (along with the most of the elite class), she graduated at age seven. The two friends tried to rig the team sorting system to be put on the same team, but Yuzuha ended up on a team with the easy-going Sarutobi Yusuke, who is proficient in lightning jutsu, and the mysterious Shimura Yusui—a deadly swordsman whom she doesn't trust because of his relationship to Danzo and because of his racism towards the Uchiha.

Yuzuha's talents lie in her prowess with the very basics of shinobi skills, such as taijutsu, shurikenjutsu, and resistance to genjutsu. She obsessively studies and practices sealing techniques and has impeccable sensory skills, so much so that she can see what people are doing and feeling from a very long distance away.

She wanted to learn fire techniques, but instead Hiruzen taught her several water techniques because her chakra nature is water. Her main weapons are the kunai she received from Sanno, and the bow that she received from the Uchiha family.

So far, she is aware that Shisui has awakened his mangekyou sharingan, though she managed to convince him to keep it a secret. The event worries her because she knows that slowly, the events of canon are beginning to unfold.

As of now, she and Itachi are seven, Shisui is ten and Naruto, Sasuke and the K-9 are about a year old.

During the last chapter, Yusuke and Yusui were forced into killing an enemy team from Kiri and Yuzuha's eyes were opened to the atrocities that canon Naruto never really got too in-depth with.

Okay, woo. That was long, but I had to squeeze in ten chapters of facts, sorry.

As for **fanart**! Okay guys, I'm really old, and I have a tumblr but I still haven't figured it out. I'm like not familiar with all that stuff at all. The most I know how to operate are Instagram, facebook, snapchat and pinterest. So you have to give me a minute. I'm so sorry it took me like a year to mention anything on this topic. Again, with physical therapy, work, no car for a couple months, five classes and relationship issues PLUS depression fanfiction wasn't even on my mind.

Also, I wasn't writing correctly. I feel like my depression kind of dampened Yuzuha's spirit and I didn't want to do that. What I wrote just wasn't her and in a way I'm glad I didn't post anything because it probably would have ruined the story both for me and you guys. So yeah.

I'm seeing a therapist and I'm getting my life back on track. I reinstated my gym membership, organized everything on my desk, cleaned my room a little and got a haircut to kind of realign my "Feng Shuai" I guess and it helped me a lot so I'm ready to keep on fighting and keep on moving and keep on smiling and all that shit.

That being said, I love and missed you guys so much. You have no idea. The reviews I've been getting over the last several months, even though they're few and far in between, have really given me hope and made my days so much better. You guys have no idea what that one notification in my email means to me. Honestly.

P.S. Some of the chapters before this one have been written on my phone so of course some words auto-corrected and some didn't so I'm sorry if certain things didn't make sense. I write at work all the time because honestly all I do nowadays is work so the only way I can do that is on my phone. So again, I apologize for some of the errors in the past chapters. I'm going to write on my phone and edit on my computer from now on. =)

Now let's get this show on the road!

|11|

* * *

The rest of the mission was dismal. The days after the night we fought the team from Kiri seemed to drag. We were all on-edge and neither Tondo nor his daughter knew why our attitudes had flipped. Yusuke and I didn't joke. Yusui didn't bother with being an asshole. My teammates were obviously taking the deaths they dished out hard. There was nothing I could do to help, either. I did my part and now they had to try to heal on their own.

We had walked through the gates of the capitol, where Tondo and his daughter lived. The city was _huge_ and composed of many districts that surrounded the royal castle in the dead center of it, like a target.

We had the "privilege" of escorting Tondo's carriage through the best parts of town, on a main road that was so pristine it might as well have been made of yellow bricks. Instead, the stones of the road were smooth and red as the dawn, which made them purposefully eye-catching. I had no doubt that the royal family took this road home any time they left the city on vacation or business or whatever.

We passed through a district with several townhouses, many accentuated with tasteful pots of flowers and wind chimes, and then into a district that had many businesses stitched closely, but comfortably together. The people were dressed finely and I saw a curious, wide-eyed look in Yusuke's eyes before Yusui expertly kicked a rock at his ankles. The boys glared at each other, but Yusui's message was clear: _act like a shinobi._

So Yusuke did. He was in front of both Yusui and I, flanking one of the two horses of the painted, mostly-wooden carriage. Yusui guarded the left-side door to the carriage right behind him, fingers twitching every now and then when a well-dressed child scurried past too quickly for his liking, and I hovered around the back of the carriage, lost in my thoughts for the most part.

Mira-sensei covered the right side of the carriage on her own because she's a badass and it really only needs one of her to guard it.

Though the city was beautiful with all the rays of sunshine, cloudless skies and happy birds, children, and couples, it was easy to see what a farce that was.

I saw the children in the alleyways between the businesses, standing next to the neat cans of trash as if they were part of the garbage themselves. They were hungry and thin and I know what that feels like.

My father used to starve me, you know. He would do it to make my mom suffer and work harder to support his bar-hopping habits. I know what it's like to be without food.

It wasn't in my mission to stop and feed children, though. I looked away in shame after I met the eyes of one tiny girl with beautiful, big brown eyes and striking long lashes. She held the hand of an older boy with angry, blue eyes and pitch black hair; more hatred and more innocence soon to be shattered. This whole mission was making me sick and I couldn't do anything but swallow the guilt and suck it up.

It pissed me off to hear Tondo and his daughter talk about getting ice cream later as if they hadn't a care in the world. I had to sternly remind myself that even rich people have problems—if Ouran High School Host Club was anything to go by— and that Tondo wasn't exactly a pompous asshole, he's just ignorant. As always, going over facts calmed me enough to keep my thoughts in check. I was able to hold my tongue, not that there would be anyone to bitch to in this silence anyway.

What an emotional pain in the ass this entire mission has been. I shut my feelings down, as I usually did, because it was exhausting to feel that negative. I needed that defense mechanism anyway, because everywhere we went we were looked at like dog shit on an otherwise pristine sidewalk. I was used to this by now, but clearly, Yusuke and Yusui weren't. Their tense shoulders and confused feelings didn't get past me.

We were told at the Academy that most civilians didn't trust shinobi and to be respectful of their opinions, and to display an "honorable exterior" when at the capital. We were explicitly told that outside of Konoha's walls, civilians viewed shinobi differently.

The teachers weren't wrong. We weren't trusted here. I suppose it's because shinobi represent the clandestine things that go on in the government. People don't want to think that their government is about as transparent as a block of wood and us walking around—guarding a high-up nonetheless— proved to them that secret things, often violent things, were going on whether they liked it or not. To them, we are harbingers of death and trouble, which isn't far from the truth, but still, it's no reason to almost spit at a person. One guy looked like he was about to aim for Yusuke's eye, but a gentle pat from his level-headed wife changed his mind at the last second. He swallowed his fluids and kept moving.

We didn't have time to stay at the Capitol and that was fine by me. I wanted nothing more than to go home. Yusui's stony silence and Yusuke's dismal lack of excitement were starting to bring me down. Say what you want about my lack of sensitivity but it sucks having to act as unhappy as these two are. I don't like wallowing in misery, no matter how much my occasional bouts of depression want me to. Fuck that, seriously; 'takes too much energy to be numb, empty and blah.

I wish I could tell you that everything went fine from that point on, but it didn't. We took a shortcut back, simply because we didn't need to take the main roads anymore; we didn't have baggage holding us back. Mira-sensei told us to be careful, however, because the woods weren't safe. There shouldn't be anyone else in Fire territory, but still.

"But still" really applied here because we did get into a fight. It was another team from Kiri. This team, Mira-sensei _massacred_. They were upper level chunin and she wasn't having any of their shit. We successfully distracted them as she cut their throats with her metal fans. She moved so quickly I missed most of her attacks. When the bodies fell, they had more cuts on them than I counted her making.

All I can say is, we have a long way to go before we become that badass. I'm glad we got assigned to her, too. Not only will she efficiently keep us alive but she'll teach us the skills she knows… which are obviously deadly. In other words, because she's strong we're going to become just as strong.

Which is good because Dry-dick-Danzo needs to die.

We finally made it back to the village and we couldn't even go through the main gate because we were covered in dried blood and looked like hell and Mira-sensei didn't want to scare the public. My white shirt looked like it had been dragged through the mud and we had to be inconspicuous while hopping across roofs and over chimneys. It wasn't easy to travel like that in broad daylight but somehow we managed.

We met with Jiji first. He was happy to see us but I had a feeling he knew what went down. He looked old and sad despite his warm smile. Afterwards, we were each given a "written report guide" which was basically three sheets of paper stapled together; the first was for your name, ninja ID number and basic details of who was on your team and what the mission goal was, and the other two were for you to write about your mission and what happened during it. It was due within the same hour, so we were taken to another room in the tower with nice wooden desks and chairs where we could sit among other ninja and quietly write our reports.

Once those were handed in, we were told "good job" given our first-ever paychecks and sent out of there to make room for the next team, which happened to be Shisui's.

He and Hana were hanging out against the wall across from the office with one other male shinobi their age, who looked so bored you would think he was waiting there for hours on end.

"Yuzu!" Shisui greeted excitedly.

"It's _you!_ " Hana gaped at me with a pointed finger. Then her brown eyes narrowed and she looked as feral as the two wolf-German-shepherd hybrids next to her, who growled low at the sound of her angry tone. I put my hands up because I don't want to start any shit with any dogs. I actually like dogs, even though I'm a cat person too.

"You tricked me!"

"He made me do it." I pointed my finger at Shisui, who paled, a horrified expression on his face.

"N-no I didn't!"

Of course he didn't. It was my choice to punk her but this is more fun.

Hana turned her anger on Shisui and I snickered behind her back.

" _You!_ " The dogs looked from Hana to Shisui, unsure of what to do. They probably liked him and didn't want to bite him; how interesting. She grabbed him by his shirt collar and he tried to appease her temper but she still violently shook and chewed him out anyway. Their teammate ignored our antics, aloofly checking the blade of his kunai. Yusui sighed.

"This is stupid. I'm going home." And he dipped out. I didn't care to say goodbye. He wouldn't have replied anyway. Yusuke put a hand on my shoulder.

"See ya later, Red." He gave me a small, forced smile and then waved at Shisui and Hana before he left. Mira-sensei was already long gone and now it was just me and Shisui's team.

"I'm sorry I tricked you." I apologized to get Hana's tight fists out of Shisui's shirt. Like butter, her anger melted and she laughed.

"It was kind of my fault for believing an academy student anyway." She pointed at my headband. "I'm not surprised you got that so early; it takes some skill to fool someone like me." She clasped her hands behind her back and smiled. "Inuzuka Hana." She introduced herself and with a grin I stuck out my hand.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha." We shook and Shisui grinned.

"Good to see you survived your first mission. As expected from the student of Konoha's super number one ultima—itta _i_!" Hana elbowed Shisui's ribs to shut his gloating up and I laughed as he rubbed them with a pained expression.

"How is Itachi?" I asked to distract him from the pain. Of course, if I focused I could probably find out how he was from here just by sensing him but I didn't feel like it. Shisui gave me a grimace that only I saw and his words were filled with so much sunshine that Hana next to him would never suspect the sad look on his face.

"He's _great_. You should _really_ go see him."

Point taken, Shisui.

"Team Shisui! If you're done…" Jiji's voice grumped from behind me.

"I'll find you later." Shisui promised and scurried past me.

"It was nice meeting you!" Hana waved as she skipped after Shisui and their teammate shot me the evil eye as he strolled past me into the office, shutting the door behind him.

I raced out of the hokage tower right after that and to the Uchiha district. I don't care if I show up uninvited and looking like hell. _Itachi needs support_. I wove through bodies in the market, ignoring some people screaming in fear and others in hate. A lot of people parted in front of me to avoid me. I broke a sweat by the time I got to Itachi's house and rang the bell next to his front door by its rope while catching my breath.

Mikoto answered with Sasuke playfully clapping his hands at her hip; his little greeting to me.

"Yuzuha-chan!" She was surprised and _relieved_ at the same time. Something definitely went down and obviously she couldn't do much to help her son.

"ZUZU-NEE!" Sasuke shouted and dropped his pacifier. Mikoto sighed, and I picked the item up for her.

"Thank you."

"Is Itachi home?" I hid the stress in my tone quite well. It was a dumb question, because I already knew he was inside, in his room, not feeling much of anything, but I had to go through the formality.

"Of course. He's in his room." She smiled and shimmied aside in her slippers to let me through. I nodded in response, practically jumped into the genkan, took off my shoes and tried _really hard_ to _not_ run up the stairs.

He's alright. I just have to be patient. Don't make a scene, Yuzuha.

I knocked on his door three times and refrained from tapping my foot on the floor. He was slow to come to the door but eventually he opened it and gave me a soft, sad smile. His eyes were puffy and his tear troughs were getting bigger.

Not good.

"Yuzuha." He greeted. Then he looked at me and my disheveled clothes and frowned. "You just got back."

"Yeah. What's up?" I tried not to be awkward. "Can I come in?" I asked and pointed at his neat room behind him. It was different from the rest of his house. Everything else in his home was traditional; his room was modern and more western. It gave me comfort but made me kind of sad at the same time, because it reminded me of home.

He nodded in his usual, quiet manner and stepped aside to let me through. His room was basic with wooden floors and all that, aside from a huge wall-sized book case, which was filled mostly with scrolls and books. There were some Uchiha-related trinkets here and there but other than that there were no decorations. The books weren't stacked in a uniform fashion. Some were placed flat and stacked that way here and there, adorned with a scroll or two. I smiled every time I saw it because it was just so _him,_ you know? A lot of his books weren't ninja-related, believe it or not. He liked to read legends and myths and other interesting stories like that.

I wonder from time to time that if I wrote a book about the world I come from, would he be interested in reading it? Shaking my head I crashed onto the neatly folded navy comforter of his twin bed, as per usual. He sat down next to me and picked up the book he left on the nightstand.

I didn't let him read it.

"It happened to you too." I mentioned quietly. We need to have this discussion and no matter how much he needs to escape into his stories right now, I can't let him do that just yet.

He turned his head to me and our eyes met for a moment. He didn't look surprised and he quickly gathered what I was talking about. He nodded again and gave me a broken expression as he turned away, placing his book, his solace, onto the bed next to his thigh.

"Yusui and Yusuke… they… you know. I'm just—it's stupid to apologize, but I'm sorry, Itachi. I wish it didn't have to happen."

I wish it didn't have to happen to him. He'd be happier as a writer than a ninja. He shook his head, shoulders sagging.

"It's just how things are. This is how this life is." He replied. Then it was quiet for a while. The silence felt thick until his emotions lightened up.

"I think peace can be found, however…" He murmured as he placed his hand on his book. I grinned, happy that he too didn't like feeling sorry.

"I think so too. Maybe we'll be old farts when it happens, but this world is gonna change." I promised. Because it will or I'll be damned.

He chuckled through his nose. "Thank you, Yuzuha."

"No problem, now pass me a book. I need to leave soon." I grinned again and he chuckled again, then stood up, and walked over to his book case. I don't know exactly how my words affected him, because in my opinion, I'm shit at giving comfort, but I'm glad I made him feel better.

"Have you finished the last one I gave you?" He asked almost accusingly.

"…No…" I replied, guiltily, caught red-handed.

"Then no books for you." He dictated and went to go sit back down.

"Oh come _on_ the rising action _sucks_! Miatomo totally screwed it up. I don't see why you say he's so good."

"It gets better, trust me."

That's what my English professor said and we still had to real Whitman's "The Poet." If you guys ever want to torture someone, give them coffee so they can't sleep and then read them "The Poet." I couldn't even sit through the spark notes on it.

"…Fine…only 'cause it's you."

I got up after that and stretched.

"Alright." I dropped my arms after reaching them towards the ceiling. "I have to go and see my little brother... and change because I reek. Maybe I'll bring Naruto by later if it's alright with your mom." I smiled at him because he was smiling at me. It made him happy that Sasuke wasn't being affected by the bullshit going on. I knew for a fact it made him happy the Sasuke had a friend.

We said our goodbyes, and I took off. When I got to my apartment, Shisui was already waiting against my door.

"Yo, Yuzu." He smiled. "Thanks for making him feel better." His gratitude was genuine and he dropped his crossed arms. I narrowed my eyes. There was no way he saw what transpired just now. He laughed at me.

"What's with that look?"

"What if I _didn't_ make anyone feel better? I'm shit at emotions; you know that so how are you so sure?" I skeptically crossed my arms and he laughed at me again.

"You make things happen, Yuzu. I believe in you." He replied meaningfully. I shook my head. Sometimes this kid says things I don't know how to respond to.

"I need to shower." I was exhausted and hungry and achy and in need of a nap and all I wanted to do was get through the door he was partially blocking and fix myself up.

"Great. I'll make tea." And he waved his hand at my door as he stepped aside. Rolling my eyes, I unlocked it and stepped in. Maybe I can convince him to cook something…

* * *

After I showered I sat down across from Shisui at the small kitchen table. We just chilled in comfortable silence. I tried to convince him to make food, but instead he ended up convincing me that he's a shitty cook, so I would have to fend for myself today. He spoke when I finally emptied my cup after about fifteen minutes; I think he realized that I needed some quiet time.

"Want an escort to the tower?" He grinned and again, I was amazed at how he knew exactly what I was going to do; I _really_ have to keep an eye on him. I didn't want an escort, of course, because I'd rather take care of myself, but I would break his little Uchiha heart if I said "no" so I nodded anyway.

"Let's go."

* * *

We stuck to the sides of the busy market roads on our leisurely walk to the tower, but people still stared and whispered. I wasn't in a forgiving mood after the mission from Hades' asshole and the shit-talk was starting to really piss me off.

"So how is your team?" Shisui asked to distract me from my growing irritation. I swear, if I hear "Uchiha" and "kyuubi" in the same sentence one more time I'm going to shit on someone's window.

"Dysfunctionally functional." I replied.

Shisui let out a deep sigh. It wasn't the optimistic reply he was looking for.

"We look out for each other. I get along with Yusuke but not with Yusui…" I paused. Should I tell him what happened?

Eh, might as well.

"They killed and freaked out a little. The mission was quiet and it kind of sucked after that." I explained without giving too much detail. He didn't respond for a while.

"It happens to all shinobi; maybe not those who remain genin, but for the most part… it happens." He finally spoke.

"Yeah I know."

"L-listen… when it happens to you… just…" He trailed off, blushing like a school girl. "…just know that I'm here." He finished after he regained his confidence and nodded to himself. I smiled at him even though I knew I would never need his support. The only comfort I'm ever comfortable receiving is from myself. It's been that way my whole life and it will probably be that way forever.

"Thanks."

He shrugged.

"It's your birthday soon. What do you want?" I asked to change the topic. I'm tired of talking about killing. I've had enough.

"A surprise." He grinned and I knew that I wasn't winning this one.

"Do you know you're irritating?" I shot back, but he knew I didn't really mean the bite in my tone and he laughed back.

"Not nearly as irritating as you are when you hate yourself for not getting something right the first time." He quipped back. He was alluding to our last training session. I was _so mad_ that I couldn't parry all of the kunai he threw at me. It took me _forever_ to get it down.

"You know, sometimes I wish I had a sharingan. It would help me so much." I grumped and made a fist, because really, I don't have time to suck at stuff. We know this already.

"Maybe. But keep in mind, it's much more of an accomplishment to have earned your skills without a doujutsu. Sometimes I don't use it when I train, just because it's better to earn your strength the hard way… The worst is when you can copy a technique, but not have the ability to actually execute it. _That's_ frustrating." He glared at the dirt road in front of his feet as if it were the source of his ire.

"Yeah that would frustrate the hell out of me, too." I agreed. "But still. Think of how much stronger I would be right now if I didn't have to do stuff over and over again."

"You don't take that long to get something anyway, though. I think you take yourself too seriously." He was getting annoyed now.

"Hey, _you_ try keeping up with someone out of your league." I crossed my arms, bitterly. I wasn't just trying to reach degenerate-Danzo's level, I was trying to keep pace with Shisui too.

"You mean _me_?" He asked incredulously and pointed at himself. It was a huge complement to him, I guess.

"Yeah, _duh._ " I replied. "I can never _actually_ take you out."

"Well, you can take me out anytime you want." He snickered.

Huh? _Oh_ he means like take him out like on a date. I smacked his shoulder and he laughed harder.

"You _know_ what I mean!"

"Yeah, yeah. To be honest, you and Itachi are unbelievable as it is. If you guys caught up to me...I'd be scared. Definitely." He nodded to himself to accentuate his point and then turned to me. "So don't think you're falling behind or something. Remember, I'm a whole three years older than you guys."

"You know that doesn't make me feel any better, right?"

"Yeah, I figured I'd try anyway." He shrugged and we finally came upon the tower.

"Listen, Itachi and I are going to do some archery tomorrow. Wanna join us? I don't think I've seen you in action with your bow yet." He grinned. "It's easy once you get the hang of it!"

I smirked. Oh Shisui… if only you knew how badass I am. Kikyo—yes, the one from Inu Yasha, dork status, remember— doesn't have shit on me.

"I know how to shoot a bow." I proudly stated. "In fact, I bet you I'll mop the floor with you." I challenged.

He smirked back, determination in his eyes.

"You're _on_." He looked up and crossed his arms, humming to himself for just a second before clapping his hands together. "Alright! If I score higher than you, I'm going to buy you stuff. If you score higher than me… well, you pick whatever torture you want to put me through."

I looked at him confused.

"If you buy me stuff, you're losing out, Shisui. That's not evil enough." I replied as _calmly_ as possible. His logic is flawed… most people enjoy getting free stuff, right? Plus I _really_ don't want him to buy me anything, so I hope the reverse psychology works. Mikoto does it enough as it is and I _hate_ having to accept gifts. He cackled to himself and rubbed his hands together evilly.

"That's not the point, Yuzu. I'm going to make you suffer just as bad as Mikoto-baa does. Don't think you can logic your way out of this one!" He finished his sentence wagging his finger at me. I glared at him. _Damn._ Foiled again.

" _Fine._ If I win you have to take two weeks of leave… because I know you _hate_ taking care of yourself." I smirked. "Any profits you lose, you'll take out of my pockets at the end." He paled, but then his eyes burned with determination.

"Heh, prepare to eat out and wear nice clothes, Yuzu. I'm _not_ losing this one." He declared.

"Tch." I gave him a smug look. "Be prepared to relax for once. I'm not backing down-ttebane!"

"Heh. See you at Itachi's then, ten sharp."

I nodded, and with a wave he disappeared.

Naruto crawled around jiji's office, babbling to himself and chewing on his wooden blocks with his gums when neither of us were looking. He was getting slick, that kid. If he had any more control over his limbs I wouldn't be able to catch him ripping the cubes out of his mouth so he could avoid getting into trouble—I was trying to teach him to _not_ put everything in his mouth and he was being stubborn.

You know, he's cute and all, but it's a little weird feeling his big, blue eyes stare me down as he chews and drools all over his little orange onesie.

I had the task of sorting D-rank missions from most important to least important. I had my own little kiddie desk pushed up next to Jiji's with a little wooden chair and everything. I felt super important. And you can bet your ass I batted my eyelashes until I convinced him to let me help him every so often-ttebane!

"Zuzu!"

I looked up from some request about gardening to find Naruto waving his block at me, spit flying from the colored cube right onto the lush, red carpet.

Once I had his attention, he grinned, showing me his two teeth and then chucked the cube at his toy green frog, lying on its side some ways away. He hit the frog, dead in the center of its stuffed body and cheered for himself as it rolled back.

Ordinarily, you're not supposed to teach kids to throw things… but I'm not very ordinary now am I? I smiled proudly at him and clapped. _That's_ my baby bro, alright!

"One day you will have to explain that that's rude, Yuzuha-chan." Jiji chuckled. He didn't smoke his pipe around Naruto or me, which I appreciated.

"I will. But right now, I need to train him as much as possible! I'm going to be clan head one day and he has to be just as strong as I am just in case anything happens!" I explained.

Jiji chuckled.

"You're quite the strategist, Yuzu-chan." He complemented.

"Thanks" I smiled because it was all going according to plan—I wasn't shy about my intelligence and capabilities anymore. I wanted him to see that I'm more of an adult than a kid. I put the paper I was holding down, pushed out my wooden chair and then walked up to my sneaky younger sibling. I picked him up and swung him around, making him laugh.

You know, I really don't like babies. Baby animals are cute but baby humans disgust me. However, Naruto isn't a typical baby. He doesn't fuss or have an attitude like Sasuke. He's just a cool little person; kind of like a sidekick. And he takes instruction really well. His grip is iron, thanks to the way I repeatedly made him squeeze his hand around my fingers when he was just born and his aim is improving, so he gets a pass.

…Hopefully all the baby-training I'm putting him through will be enough for him to earn Sasuke's respect. They're friends now and I hope that they'll be friends later, too.

I was happy that he was smiling, until I sensed Distasteful-Danzo in the hallway. Yes, _distasteful_ — I'm running out of D-words to tack onto his name. Naruto must have seen my smile vanish, because his vanished too. He looked sad and waved his chunky little arms around while babbling my name over and over. That was his own little way of asking for a hug, so I squeezed the little kid close to me, and looked at the door.

There isn't a chance in hell that I'm leaving this spot until I'm told to, by the way. I feel like being a total brat today, and that old geezer is going to get the brunt of it. Because fuck him, that's why.

Danzo's empty and sinister chakra reached the door and he knocked three times before Hiruzen allowed him in.

Whatever it is he wants, Jiji… don't trust him, _please_.

The old man entered, his crippled appearance betraying the power that whispered and hissed beneath his skin. Naruto babbled and ran his baby sausage-fingers over my hair.

"Hokage-sama, if I may?" His one eye landed on me and I made it a point to keep my face blank. Oh no, _Danzo-sama_ , I have absolutely _no_ idea what that look you're giving me means… none at _all._

 _Bitch._

"Yuzuha-chan, could you please take Naruto-kun to his nursery? I'll meet you there shortly." Hiruzen spoke gently, as if to not hurt my feelings.

Damn it. He's ruining it! Come _on_ can't I just be an annoyance to him? Just _once?_

"Jiji?" I asked and turned round, innocent eyes on him, trying to waste some of Danzo's time. Who knows, maybe by keeping him here just a little longer I'm giving his root slaves some extra downtime in the long run.

He paused, making eye contact to let me know he was listening. "Can I _please_ stay just a _little_ longer? I'm almost done with all my work!" I knew it wouldn't work. There's no way, but it's nice to let Danzo know that I'm closer to the hokage seat than he is right now. Hah. Suck on _that_ douchebag!

"Unfortunately no, Yuzuha-chan." But then he smiled. "However, I'm sure you'll be a part of some important meetings one day. Then you'll be able to stay." He explained, again, gently.

I smiled widely, even though I didn't mean it, and turned to look at Danzo's face. He didn't look it, but he felt annoyed. Mission: success.

"Speaking of important meetings, how do you like you like your team, Uzumaki- _chan_?" He asked, but with a sneer that betrayed the "kind" tone in his voice…

And then I knew…

 _He_ rigged the team sorting!

Mother _fucker._

I knew it. See, we're all playing shogi here. Jiji has his own plans, I have mine and Danzo has his.

The only problem is that Danzo is diabolical, has no boundaries and has advantages over both Hiruzen and me. And that's a _big_ problem. And he used all of that to his advantage this time god _damn_ it _._ He knows it's not in his favor for me to be friends with Itachi. He knows Fugaku and Mikoto attending the meetings on my birthday is going to thwart his plans. He's doing everything in his power to put distance between myself _and_ my link to Jiji and the Uchiha.

Shitbag. Asshole. Rotten old rag. _Ugh_ , he makes me mad! Tch. I'll deal with it somehow. One thing at a time right? 'Just gotta take it slow and easy.

"They're both really strong." I complemented. It wasn't a lie and I wanted him to know that I wasn't disappointed even though I kind of was in a way. I wasn't about to look weak and defeated in front of them.

"Well, I'm glad you _like_ them." He stressed but I could feel the superiority high he was on in his chakra. It was time for me to make my exit. I accomplished my goal and now it's time to retreat and fight again another day.

I bowed quickly, Naruto giggling and cheering, as the motion put him in a partially upside-down position, and then left the room with a final goodbye to my surrogate grandfather.

You're dead, motherfucker. Just you wait.

* * *

And so, several months passed. Shisui wasn't around for his birthday and wouldn't be around 'till January, for jiji's birthday. There was a mini-celebration for Naruto on his birthday in his nursery. Most of the clan babies were invited and just like on my birthday, the adults talked while Itachi, myself and a couple others hung out and watched the kids. I was glad to see that the tradition Jiji made was lasting. It would keep the peace for a while.

Yusui, Yusuke and I went on missions with Mira-sensei that often got pretty bloody. I think she requested the harder or sketchier missions on purpose. I didn't complain, though. It would make us stronger, faster, harder, and superior so it worked for me.

I learned to be a killer during these missions. The first time… wasn't okay. I ignored the shock, panic, disgust and sadness in favor of the chaos around us at the time. I was lucky that the mission was so hectic because I didn't really have time to dwell on the incident… incident _s._ I killed three people before I got home and started tugging on my eyebrows and pulling skin off of my calluses out of stress and anxiety. It was very hard to sleep that night; I can only imagine how Yusuke and Yusui felt when they got home after that first mission.

There is no way to describe murder or how it feels or is. However, I can describe to you what it looks like when someone dies; and this brings me to this next anecdote:

When I was about fifteen, I was walking home from school one day. I lived in the poorer half of town and my home was an apartment in a two-story building right up the street from the corner store and the Chinese food place. The building was squished next to another mismatched apartment building and the occupants, including my mom were forced to share a driveway. The street was narrow with maybe one sparse tree planted on the sidewalk in a dead patch of grass with dog shit piled next to it and if you parked next to this tree your side mirror was certain to get busted up if you didn't fold it inwards.

So as I made it to the beat-up but sturdy white front door—that probably survived a hundred attempted break-ins— I heard this horrible screeching. I look over, next to that tree, and see three ravens ganging up on a little brown bird, common to the northeast.

You guys knows I don't like birds, but I'd be damned if I let those fuckers pick on that one. I was bullied mercilessly throughout my life and there is no way in hell I was going to tolerate that shit. Now, I know it was all just nature taking its course, but fuck it. I was young and angry. So I ran at the birds, just as the little guy gave up and fell to the concrete sidewalk. I yelled and scared his bullies off, then dropped to my knees next to him.

He was scared, and his little black eye was terrified of me, too. I have never in my life seen an animal's little chest rise and fall so quickly. He couldn't use his wings and I think he was paralyzed. I wish I could tell you how determined I was to save his life. I was _sure_ I could save him. But as I decided to reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to call for some sort of help, his life ended. His little eye, still looking at me, dulled. It's so strange describing it. His eye was still black but it was like the lack of life changed its shade; it went from bright black to flat black.

If you've ever seen one of those time lapse videos of flowers growing, maturing, and then withering, that is what that bird's death was like; it was like looking at the last few seconds of that time lapse video and watching that beautiful, bright flower dim, brown, and wither within just a few, short seconds.

I will never forget that bird; I'll take his memory to the grave, and just like that bird, I will never forget the girl I killed. We were delivering a letter—I'm not joking either; a fucking letter— to an "important client" in the land of Rice Patties for some pompous snot in a small city near the capitol.

Unfortunately, some really unlucky team from some Village hidden in the Caves, according to what Mira-sensei said about their headbands, were contracted to intercept us, and take the letter for their client, who I'm assuming is either an enemy of the recipient, or of the douchebag who hired us—most likely of the douchebag who hired us just because he seems like a douchebag with a lot of enemies.

Anyway, the opposing team thought it would be smart to pit the girl of their team against me, because apparently girls should handle each other, right?

Well, not only was I pissed, because Yusuke was about to get chopped into tiny pieces, I was _not_ about to let them get way with underestimating me.

So I cut right through her. Literally. I took my kunai— the one Sanno gave me— and I slit her throat open as I was spinning past her, dodging her spear. She didn't last a whole ten seconds and that was valuable time to save during that fight because the other two boys were strong and Mira-sensei was off further away, battling their jounin sensei, who, by the way, aimed his attacks at us… _a lot_. Helping Yusuke and ending his fight sooner ended up helping Yusui, because he was shit at combatting jitte, which the opposing boy had altered to specifically stop swords and knives. Ending our fight helped end Mira-Sensei's fight because we were able to dodge the jounin's attacks afterwards and hide, nullifying her responsibility to protect us.

Would you believe that the girl's eyes were black, just like the bird mentioned earlier? It was like I was fifteen again, watching that little bird die within just a few seconds. She was dead before she hit the ground.

You know, I still don't know her name.

It felt wrong to talk about what I did when I got back from that mission; as if I would be disrespecting her death by sharing it, you know, so I didn't mention it to Itachi, or Shisui when he came back, though that kid pried anyway, if only because he wanted to make sure that I was alright.

On a lighter note,I got Shisui a necklace for his birthday. It wasn't girly, though. It was kind of like Itachi's in cannon. The metal was durable and black as the bow I received for my birthday and the chain was short enough that it wouldn't smack his face or slip over his head during battle. Instead of circles, like Itachi's, there were swirls and wisps of metal in between the links of the necklace.

He nearly cried.

"Yuzu, you shouldn't spend so much money!"

"Yuzu, this is the first necklace I ever got from anyone!"

"Yuzu you're so cruel! Stop laughing at me!" He had tripped. I couldn't help it.

I wove Hiruzen a red and white bracelet for his birthday. I got the tightest hug ever that day and it honestly made me happy to see him smile so wide that his wrinkles deepened.

The winter was dull and blah as usual but when the spring came…

…Well, that's when some entertainment walked into my life.

"Yuzuha!"

Utau made it a habit to find me at least once a week to spar. You got to hand it to the girl, she was really beginning to toughen up. Her sharingan awakened during one of her missions and she _loved_ testing it out on me. I was shooting my bow, pounding arrow after arrow into a red circle painted on a hay bale about 30 yards away when she reached me in the large field, and caught her breath.

"You'll never _believe_ what I just saw."

She seemed frazzled, irritated and eager to vent, which was odd, because usually, she just liked to get down to business and fight me.

"Huh?" Naturally my interest was piqued, but I didn't trust her. I narrowed my eyes as I lowered my bow and turned to her. "Where's this need for conversation coming from? I thought you hate me?" Seriously, what's the catch?

She growled at me and grabbed my shoulders.

"This is no time to be debating the details! You'll never guess what I _saw!"_ She reiterated and I realized that that was girl-speak for "ask me what I saw." So I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"What did you see?"

With her hands still on my shoulders, her young face adopted a grave expression.

"Uchiha Izumi just graduated from the academy."

…

Aaaaannd… who cares? Who is Uchiha Izumi anyway?

I guess I looked confused because she dropped her hands off of my shoulders, face palmed and dragged her hand down her nose, cheeks and mouth in an exaggerated fashion.

"Uuuuuugh! That's not a good thing! You're supposed to care!" She threw her hand into the air, open-palm, to show her frustration.

I rolled my eyes. She wasn't getting to the point fast enough. My sister used to pull that shit all the time. I would get a text "Help I'm scared" which apparently was sent forty-five minutes before I opened it. I reply, nervous as hell, and she doesn't answer for another twenty-five minutes, all of which I spent biting my nails because my big sister alarms were going off. Then she answers "I have a presentation to do for class this week."

It's infuriating. She could've just said that all from the get-go, but _no_. She has to be dramatic. Utau was basically doing the same thing.

"Get to the _point_ , Utau."

Her cheeks got red and to be honest, from an adult perspective she was adorable. Like, she looked like that niece you want to cuddle and spoil.

"Look, I like Itachi." She admitted. Then she glared at me. "And you can't have him!" she pointed her finger and I smacked it away from my chest.

"You can keep 'em. I don't like him like _that_."

She blushed again and looked to the side, shy again.

"Okay, well… I don't wa—mhrodhdbdbs dheudjhd t hejfjrntmm…" She mumbled.

"Huh? Will you just spill it already!" I crossed my arms and she gave me the most troubled expression ever.

"I don't want Izumi to have him either! You _have_ to help me, Yuzuha! Her parents have more money! If things go the right way they'll try to push Fugaku-sama to place Itachi-kun into an arranged marriage with her!"

I gave her an incredulous look.

"They still do that kind of stuff?" I asked.

She glared at me.

" _Duh_. How _else_ do you think the main family has birthed generations of strong, Uchiha leaders?" She hissed. "Don't you know _anything_?" She added petulantly, but her attitude only alluded to the fact that she was uncomfortable with confiding in me. It was as if I was her only option, which is still rude to me, if you ask.

"I highly doubt Mikoto-sama and Fugaku-sama will agree to marry their son off just like that." I replied logically. I could sense her unease, though, and it practically made me nervous, too.

"Look, I saw them talking, okay. I think they were headed towards Itachi's house, too. If she awakens the sharingan, I'm _toast_."

"You say that as if you're actually a candidate in this imaginary "arranged-marriage" scenario of yours…" I grumbled and made sure to give her my most unamused expression.

It set her off and those pretty Uchiha eyes of hers narrowed so dangerously, you would think they turned into knives.

"I _know_ I'll be considered if such a thing should come up in conversation." She replied confidently.

"Yeah, _if_." I repeated. "You're stressing for no reason; it's stupid. Just focus on yourself and protecting your loved ones. The rest will fall into place the way it should."

"Listen, you're his _best friend_. Can't you just, I don't know…" She seemed embarrassed and struggled through the next part. "Can't you just make him hate her or something?"

" _What_!" I hissed and then I decked her shoulder before she could even think to dodge.

"Ow!"

She clutched her arm and looked horrified as I unleashed on her.

"Are you _joking_ right now!? Even _if_ you ever did something to deserve that kind of loyalty from me, I would never lie to a friend, or sabotage something in such a childish way! It's dishonorable, no matter what political crap you've been taught your whole life. Relationships aren't something that can be manipulated like that; they aren't some shady business deal."

And just like that, with one last angry look at her pretty, shocked face, I walked away, but things only got interesting from there…

* * *

I eventually met Izumi. She was a really nice girl and only had everyone's best interest in mind. The only thing is, Utau kept getting more jealous. First it was all about Itachi and then it was all about me for some reason.

"Yuzuha, is she a better friend than me?" She asked one sunny day in April at the park. She was sitting on the bench next to me in her off-duty clothes— a bright blue kimono top and sunflower yellow mini skirt— with her face and head resting on her palms. When did she become so attached to me?

"We were never friends in the first place, remember?" I didn't look up from my book, and continued studying the seal patterns and translations next to them on the page.

She growled and slammed her palm on the pages, inciting me to turn a fierce glare on her. She was mad.

"You're my _rival, stupid_ ; that means you're my friend too!"

"That makes no sense."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

" _Yes_. It _does_."

I rolled my eyes and peeled her palm off of my book by her wrist. The pages stuck to her damp skin and I shook her a bit to release them.

"Look, what's the deal with you recently? You never cared this much until Izumi-san started hanging out with Itachi, Shisui and me."

She gave me the saddest expression, like ever. Have you ever told your little brother or sister that they can't hang out with you and the other big kids? Well yeah, that's what she looked like; like that heartbroken younger sibling. I hate it because it actually makes me feel guilty.

"I just don't feel cool anymore…" She murmured and then looked at the wooden table beneath us. I blinked at her as some kids ran past us laughing and screaming before they went to the actual playground area of the park. "Like, what if she learns to sing now? What if she steals my idea for sound-based genjutsu? What if I end up as a wash-up before I even get famous?" She worried. I gave her a flat look. Is she for real right now?

"I doubt she's going to do that."

She turned a genuinely scared and sad expression on me.

"But what if she _does_?"

"Then you'll just have to do better. The world won't end if someone else uses the same jutsu as you. If you're that insecure then just put more effort into it; that goes for everything, too, not just this situation." I explained and she mulled it over for a second before she smiled.

"Alright then! I'm going to practice singing. You're good at breaking genjutsu, ne?" She asked.

I sighed because I knew where this was going.

"Fine, let's go. You can practice on me."

"Yessss!" She shot up and pumped her fist.

Damn Uchiha. Oh well, at least I'll get some practice in, right-ttebane?

* * *

Today was an interesting day indeed. Itachi was away, but because I was allowed to be at the Uchiha training grounds, I decided to shoot my bow there. The Uchiha property had as many wide open spaces as it did woodsy areas, so naturally, a huge clearing was perfect to shoot it at. I had targets all over the place, and was having fun just zoning out while shooting on auto-pilot.

I was practicing sensing while shooting and doing other things, just so I can be as aware as possible on the field, when I sensed Fugaku slowly making a beeline for my position.

I was able to shoot three more arrows, collect all the ones I shot, and seal them back up before he appeared through the treeline, taking up a position against a post with a small, fist-sized hay ball hanging from it.

He eyed the holes in the painted red center of the swinging target and smirked.

"You're quite a marksman." He complemented and I smiled. We had played a game of shogi that morning and I bummed breakfast off of Mikoto before I came here. I didn't think I'd see either of them again for the rest of the day.

"Hah, good one Fugaku-sama; I'm still not as good as Itachi with his shuriken."

He chuckled as he moved closer and then crossed his arms— a sign that this conversation would become serious in 0.5 seconds.

"Allow me to teach you the Uchiha-style taijutsu."

It wasn't a request. He may as well have just told me that I was going to learn from him whether I liked it or not, but I told him my plans of becoming a clan head one day and I think he was minding that goal and giving me the respect a clan head deserves.

As a side note, he must've told Mikoto too, because she was starting to teach me all sorts of super official lady stuff, too, which I enjoyed more than the bullshit kunoichi classes back at the academy. Besides, she was a better teacher anyway.

"Sure, but why?" I was curious and he smirked, dropping his arms.

"You're going to have my son's back on the field one day."

So he wanted me to be up to his standard. Makes sense.

"I see. When do we start?"

He dropped his arms and eased into the relaxed opening stance of the Uchiha style.

"Now."

* * *

And so that's how I picked up the Uchiha taijutsu. Shisui went wide-eyed when I told him.

"Do you have _any_ idea how much of an honor that is!?"

Yeah it blew his mind. The training was brutal, however. I can't tell you how nuch Fugaku's adult-sized fists hurt. I was mostly able to dodge him during sparring sessions but that wasn't the point of the training. I was treating him the way I treated Itachi and Shisui during training and he had to constantly remind me that I'm not trying to one-up the Uchiha style, but use it.

Anyway, not long after that, Mira-sensei decided to take me under her wing as well. But it I'll get into that in a bit.

Believe it or not, Hiru-jiji isn't the head of the Sarutobi clan. Some other guy is. How did I find this out? Well, Yusuke went to study under him. He was a guy who went by the name of Sarutobi Kasuga. I still haven't seen him, but what I have seen is the bruises he gave Yusuke. The kid begged him to take him on as an apprentice, and I can imagine he must've been annoying to the guy to deserve that kind of a thrashing day in and day out. Regardless, Yusuke did improve. He added a lot of different techniques to his arsenal and even learned how to set traps better.

Yusui, on the other hand, became Dank-Danzo's apprentice. He didn't ask the old prick for any help, either; Danzo just came up to him and offered a hand. It was both a good and a bad thing. Good, because I can familiarize myself with some of Danzo's techniques through Yusui, but bad because his ugly old eye was probably watching me, again, through Yusui. I have no doubt that little brat was giving him reports about me during their training sessions.

So anyway, that left Mira-sensei bored, so she turned to me in an effort to have someone to abuse because she wouldn't be a proper sensei if she didn't put at least one of her students through hell.

Joke's on her anyway, though, because I appreciated it. I learned to use metal fans, like she did. My second chakra nature is wind, unsurprisingly, so she taught me a bunch of wind jutsu that I learned to use in tandem with the tessen.

Between Mira-sensei, Jiji, Fugaku-sama, and Mikoto-sama, I barely had time for myself. I had no more time to read for leisure, and barely enough time for sleep. If Jiji didn't remind me every so often, I would forget to eat until I got nauseous. I got yelled at for that, by the way. Shisui and Mikoto-sama were scary; I don't think I've ever seen them team up against someone like that . I had enough food that day to feed the homeless in the capitol.

The missions all blurred together and I found that I was just too exhausted and too busy to realize how much time was passing by. I finally completed my own version of the hiraishiin too. It took me an entire year but I finally created a completely different seal pattern that worked with my chakra flow and mimicked exactly what Minato's technique did.

I eventually turned nine and a whole two years had passed since I graduated from the academy. I mostly got scrolls for my birthday and books on fuuinjutsu from all over the world, but the best gift that year was the pair of metal fans I received from Mira-sensei. They were gorgeous and made out of some super-sturdy black metal, which was decorated with beautiful gold accents. The top edges of the fans were actually secret blades and if anyone chose to get too close to me I could shank them right away.

My bland routine was interrupted in September, where shit really hit the fan. It started with a routine mission, although this one was to the far West of the Land of Tea, which was rumored to be the most dangerous forested area in the region. The daimyo of the small country called upon us to apparently deal with a group of bandits or something causing problems for traveling merchants, thus cutting off trade.

Well, the fucker lied to save money because it was a bit more than just a group of bandits.

 _But_ all stories have a beginning don't they? So I'll start there…

"The West is unexplored for the most part." Yusui explained while our team stopped to munch on snacks. As usual, Mikoto—this time with Shisui's help—packed a feast inside a scroll for me and my teammates.

We were opening bento boxes and when I took the top off of mine—it was clearly labeled "Yuzuha"— I found the cheesiest decorations, like _ever._ There were hearts made out of pink soy sushi paper decorating my rice, a heart-shaped sushi roll, a colorful salad with small grapes in the shape of a heart and the inside of the outwardly plain box was rainbow colored. I tried to close the top quickly as I growled, expression dark, but Yusuke caught sight of it and started pointing and laughing at me.

"Hahahaha! Who made you _that_!? It's so cheesy! Looks like you have a secret admirer! Hahahaha— _ittai_!"

I punched his shoulder to shut him up, only to realize that Yusui and Mira-sensei were both snorting under their breath, red in the face, trying not to laugh out loud.

Motherfuckers. All of them.

Especially Shisui, because this was 100% his handy work and this box is so intentionally exaggerated he may as well have sprinkled edible glitter all over it. It was an obvious attempt at embarrassing me; a successful attempt, too.

I noticed a tiny rolled up paper stuck to the upper corner of the inside lid of the box with candle wax and ripped it off.

He left me a fucking note. Brilliant. When I unrolled the teensy scroll it said,

" _Hahaha, revenge for target practice."_

Of course. My arrows struck closer than his kunai the other day; I even managed to knock one off of its path to the target, derailing it completely and as a result I was allowed to take him for a check-up at the hospital just 'cause he was looking a little pale after his last mission.

They sent him away with a bottle of vitamin D that I forced him to take every day after that. 'Turns out he was in a cave trying to find something important for a week so his skin suffered a little.

Hah, but I won. And he swore revenge and now he got it. It's on, Shisui. You just started a war.

Just wait till I get back.

"I'm offended that you didn't tell me you have a boyfriend." Mira-sensei comically pouted and crossed her arms, bento box balanced perfectly on her long, crossed legs. Today, she had braided the long mow hawk she painstakingly grew out for the last two years. I still remember the day she shaved the other half of her head. With her scar, she looked like some sort of exotic warrior from some Amazon tribe.

"I _don't_ have a boyfriend!" I hissed. "This was done very purposefully, and completely in revenge to embarrass me just like this!" I waved my hands around to make a point.

"Only Shisui." Yusui guessed, but his honey eyes were glittering with amusement. Over the last two years, his Uchihaphobia had somewhat settled. He didn't trust completely, but he certainly earned respect for at least Shisui and Itachi; Shisui, because he sparred with him and got his ass kicked—literally— and Itachi because the Uchiha parried an otherwise life-ending blow for him during a joint mission about a year ago. We began to kind of get along a little thanks to that. I think he was starting to see reason… maybe.

"Yeah. 'Got that right." I grumbled. "He might as well have sprinkled fairy dust on top of it, too."

Yusuke snickered and I dug my chopsticks into the box, eating the heart-shaped sushi roll first; At least it tastes good… delicious actually.

I inhaled the food, and we continued our journey to the daimyo of the Green Tea Village. The trip was mostly boring. There were trees like everywhere, but Mira-sensei promised that the village was located at the bottom-center of a vast valley. When we got there it was exactly as she said, and the village was super old-school with the daimyo's castle as the tallest structure in sight. It too was like a traditional Japanese castle. I felt like Kagome taking a trip back into the feudal era or something.

Of course, our headbands gained us access to the palace via a royal steward and a few beefy-looking guards. We weren't allowed to talk to the daimyo directly, because apparently he was out on an important trip but we did talk to his wife and daughter, who both were genuinely distraught with the bandits ravaging their territory. They seemed genuine and I couldn't sense them being nervous about what they were saying or anything so we didn't realize that we were being lied to because they were lied to by the daimyo—a smart tactic, you gotta admit: 'nothing better to get around the truth and pay less money than convincing another official that you're being honest.

And from that point on shit went downhill.

* * *

Thank you all so much for your patience. I hope this chapter was satisfying to you.

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: why do we even need these? Oh that's right, because everyone is sue-happy, that's why.


	12. Breaking the Law

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|12|

Mira-sensei is an expert tracker. Granted, I'm pretty good at tracking—we all are—, but this woman is like a bloodhound or a wolf. She's like that shark that can smell a drop of blood in the vast ocean from like a hundred miles away.

Yeah, again, she's super badass.

It wasn't long before we were deep in the woods, far from the dusty merchant roads in Fire country. It wasn't bright here, or loud. No forests ever are. You could hear rabbits, squirrels and deer from far away with the echoes their footsteps made.

We were all on edge and any time we heard a noise while traveling through the trees, Yusui and Yusuke would look to Mira-sensei and me for details. She could simply tell what an enemy sounded like compared to an animal based on experience and I had eyes in my mind, so the boys were always comfortable relying on our skills.

A rock fell somewhere and the hard thump it made against a fallen tree trunk or something made an echo throughout the woods from far away. I saw Yusui turn gold eyes onto me from my right and I felt Yusuke's observational stare on my back. I shook my head and we kept it moving. There was no one around for miles.

Eventually I spotted a group of five bandits just at the edge of my sensory range. Except those fuckers weren't really bandits; their chakra systems were developed enough to count them as shinobi. As to what their capabilities were? Who knows? They were about chunnin level, but one of them was totally a genin; the rookie of their team. They didn't feel nice and their chakras felt like mud—just…blah.

"Group of five. Four chunin-level, one genin. I don't think they're ordinary bandits, if they're bandits at all… Mira-sensei?"

We all stopped in our tracks and I opened my eyes to make eye contact with my team. We stood in a square, Yusuke and I on one, thick branch, and Mira-sensei and Yusui on the one across from us. We all looked to Mira-sensei for guidance as a few birds flapped their wings above us.

"We're going to follow them. I want you three to be ghosts. I don't want them to even think that you exist while we're following them. Understood?."

We all nodded gravely. We all made a silent promise after that first mission that we'd never have a repeat of what happened. No more bullshit because we can't hide well enough. Yusuke clenched his fists and I placed a comforting hand on his back.

"You're better now. Never forget that." I reminded him. I worked with him three to four times a week since that mission and made it a point to sharpen his ability to repress his chakra. We got him to the point where Mira-sensei couldn't sense him from nearby. He looked down at me and smiled with friendly, green eyes.

"That's true. We didn't do all that work for nothing. Thanks, Red."

Mira-sensei got right down to business.

"Right. Let's proceed carefully. Yuzu, you're going to direct us to them with your knock-off Byakugan—

" _Hey!_ "

"Yusuke, Yusui; you two will be bodyguards. I'll take up the front. Be on the lookout for any traps. Questions?" She raised a brow to see if any of us would raise our hands.

" _Yeah_!" I growled. "Can you stop comparing me to the Hyuuga?" I snipped and Yusuke snorted. Mira-sensei always likes to make fun of at least one of us per mission and it gets annoying sometimes.

"You'll get yours too, Yusuke." She sweetly threatened and I saw Yusuke shiver. She could really be merciless sometimes. My teammate laughed nervously and put his hands up.

"I think I'm good for now, sensei…"

"Let's go." She put her serious face on and we were on the move again. I ran, zoning out into my senses as I put running and jumping on auto pilot for a bit. I won't fall, but if I do, Yusuke or Yusui will have my back… and then I won't hear the end of it when we get back.

I started to feel tension in my stomach; it was an instinct that told me there'd be bloodshed at some point. It made me nervous and sharpened my senses. I could see them all clearly in my mind: they were sitting, just chilling; 'probably taking a break that we're going to eventually look in on.

We came upon them fast, and soon we were just out of the sensory range a typical chunin shinobi would have. Assuming these are the bandits we're looking for, they shouldn't be that good at sensing anyway. Mira-sensei raised her hand to signal us to stop, but I caught it too late and kept flying forward. Thankfully, Yusuke grabbed me by the back of my signature red haori and tugged me backwards. I found my balance next to him and watched as Mira-sensei dropped her hand and turned to face us.

"Disappear. I don't want you guys to exist to anyone but me. I want you three to be able to fool kami-sama if you have to."

"Hai!" We all replied in unison.

Yusui drew his sword, Yusuke armed the spaces between his fingers with exploding-tag shuriken, and I unsealed the bow from my arm guard, and an arrow from the bow. I nocked the arrow and when Mira-sensei drew her tessen, we all went "ghost" and suppressed our chakras as much as we could. Once we were ready to fuck shit up—just in case— we took off. I signed how much distance we had left to get to the group of five and when we were close enough to spy, we stopped.

There were four older guys, probably Mira-sensei's age, and one kid our age. One guy had a scar across the lower half of his face that showed his teeth even if his mouth was shut. He looked the toughest and beefiest, but that would never mean shit to my team; we were all probably much faster and our chakra made us stronger.

Scarface was sitting on a moss-covered log near some dead foliage, surrounded by the others. He was staring at the ground beneath his feet with his hands hanging between his knees, elbows supported on his thighs, lost in thought. Next to him sat a fellow who seemed a couple years younger and a little less battle-hardened than Scarface. His skin was tanned and his eyes were dark. He was pierced all over his ears and even on his neck but his most noticeable face adornment was a nose piercing that connected to his earlobe via a gold chain. His eyes were lined with black and his sword was curved, making him look like a Pharoah. He was sharpening his blade, eyes focused and intent on the engraved metal.

Directly across from King Tut sat a guy who was about his age. There was nothing remarkable about him other than the huge scythe on his back. His hair and eyes were Uchiha black so we'll call him "Death" for now. He sat separate from the rest so I think we can assume that he's a loner, working with others just 'cause he's been ordered to.

Completing the triangle, two more individuals sat a short distance away. They were definitely family; a father and his son— based on their closeness, smiles, and how the man was quietly teaching him how to braid a rope. And I meant _quietly_ because they were nonverbally speaking to each other in sign language.

They both had brown hair, identical to Yusuke's, and he'd look related to them too if he had their matching chocolate eyes.

They wore all different kinds of clothing, but their color scheme was all shades of dark purple. It eerily reminded me of Kabuto's outfit from cannon and a feeling of dread settled into my stomach. They didn't have headbands, so my suspicions couldn't be proved, but their looks still irritated my instincts. If these guys are future Otogakure shinobi, we might just be fucked if we come across Orochimaru himself. I doubt he'd be here, but…can you ever really be sure? You have to factor in _everything._

I hate this. I really don't like the way I feel right now. I can't say anything to alert the others, either… unless I find a good reason to suggest a strategic retreat, I'm stuck here.

We were called here to take care of bandits. Does it matter that these bandits aren't regular people? Could that be used as an excuse to extend the mission and call for back-up?

I looked over at Mira-sensei. She was as bored and unreadable as usual. I focused on on her feelings and I didn't sense any concern. This is normal. We're going to take them out regardless of their level because she believes in us. The only thing that would make her reconsider and call for backup is if there were too many for us to handle.

For a while we sat there and just watched. It must have been an hour or so, and my legs were cramping up as much as they did when I regally sat on my knees during lady-training with Mikoto-sama.

I was just starting to get frustrated, when Scarface suddenly spoke.

"'Break's over. Time to get back to base. Leader-sama will want to hear our report."

Bingo. Doesn't matter how quietly he said that; we still heard him and I made eye contact with my comrades as the group took off North, leaving us behind.

They get a kilometer or two of a head start and then we go after them; that was always the rule. So we waited a bit and when I nodded we shot off, me in the lead, because I could clearly see them in my mind. We traveled for a while after that. We must've kept up a quick pace for about two hours until they finally stopped.

We waited to catch our breath before we approached them.

When I saw their hideout I internally freaked out because it was a low, stone structure with a large rectangular entry point that seemed to lead into darkness… just like Orochimaru's hideouts looked like in cannon.

Instantly, I tightened my grip on the leather hand rest of my bow, shut my eyes and narrowed my concentration on the building. Searching inside the hideout, I counted eight bodies, none above chunnin level except one who felt very sharp and very confident. I almost exhaled out loud in relief. No Orochimaru. At least I don't think so. No one in the base felt like I imagine he would feel; thank God.

" _Enter at night. Finish job then."_ Mira-sensei signed. Yusuke's eyes widened and he rolled his finger in circles next to his temple. You can imagine what he was trying to say.

" _Crazy! Dangerous! High level. Us not experienced."_ I agree, Yusuke; I don't want to die tonight either.

" _Cannot retreat. Contract solid. Cannot fail. We can accomplish. Believe in us."_ Mira-sensei motioned.

We all looked at each other; now was our opportunity to cry, run, desert our village, etc. First, Yusui nodded. He placed his hand between us four. Then Yusuke nodded and placed his hand on top of his. Mira-sensei beamed, happiness in her blue eyes as her delicate but calloused hand joined the group.

Three pairs of eyes landed on me, waiting expectantly.

…Fuck.

" _You're all insane."_ I signed, and hesitantly put my hand on top of Mira-sensei's. They graced me with three, proud smiles and we all did that cheesy thing where you lower your hands and then raise them high in excitement… except we were noiseless about it.

" _Find spot. Conceal. Move at high evening."_ Mira-sensei signed her commands with a serious face.

AKA we start at the dead of night, where the moon is at its highest point. We nodded and scattered into the woods.

When I found my spot, I couldn't see the others, though I could sense them. Mira-sensei was silently ghosting around the area, probably looking for the hideout's alternate escape routes, while Yusuke, Yusui and I positioned ourselves at the mouth of the man-made cave where the bandits entered earlier. If we needed to go somewhere else, Mira-sensei would tell us.

Out of boredom, I watched her stop at two different places not far from each other, and do something with her chakra. I'm sure she was placing exploding tags at the compound's emergency exits. If we trip any alarms and miss anyone, they're going to get trapped like rats with no way to go but out the front entrance—where I'm sure one of us is going to be positioned, ready to kill as they come out one by one.

Like a ghost, Mira-sensei appeared next to me. I didn't flinch, knowing that she was on her way.

" _You go inside with me. Yusuke outside_."

I made circles out of my fingers and placed them over my eyes— our symbol for Yusui, because he has a unique eye color.

" _And Yusui?"_

" _Yusui with us."_

Makes sense. Yusuke wasn't exactly the quiet type of killer. He was a total berserker, electrifying and now burning people along with his surroundings in flashes of light and heat.

Yusui was complete anbu material. He was working on his ninjutsu, but he added a second sword to his arsenal and now he's a dual-handed swordsman. He utilizes traps and his enemy's psychology against them like it's his side-hobby, but since he got chummy with Shisui he's been sharpening his genjutsu by the day.

Me on the other hand? I'm a jack of all trades. I can snipe with my bow, cut throats with my kunai, and slash with my tessen, but I can also drown my enemies, cut their bodies in half with jet streams of water, and slice them up with gusts of wind… that typically happen to bust up trees and foliage in the event that we fight around some.

And that's just the beginning. There's plenty more I can do and plenty more that I will learn to do. Remember, _failure is not an option._

And of course we all know Mira-sensei is as sadistic, cunning and ruthless as Madara… wait… Forget I made that comparison. That was kind of a fucked up complement.

Anyway, Mira-sensei disappeared after our silent conversation and as promised, when the moon was at its highest point in the sky, she and Yusui made their way over to me.

" _Inside? How many sleep?"_ Mira-sensei asked with her hands. Then she shook her head and changed her question. " _How many awake? Patrol times? Information, now."_ She knew I was watching the inside of the compound.

While waiting, I had observed as people stirred in their beds, got up to use the bathroom, changed guard shifts, etc. Three people guarded the entrances at all times, in hour-and-a-half intervals. I don't know how the hell that works, because these people are basically taking naps instead of actually sleeping, but whatever. There were always two guards at the very mouth of the compound, and one hanging out directly in between the two places Mira-sensei stopped to set up traps. I'm going to take a guess and say that there's a hallway between the two escape routes and since they weren't expecting anyone to find them, they only needed one person to guard both.

How wrong they are. Now the question is, do we attack from the front, or from the back? Mira-sensei thought over the information, and asked, " _Jounin location?"_

I explained that if she were to enter through the back, he'd be somewhere to her left, sleeping for the next half hour or so, maybe a little more. She nodded.

" _You two kill front, I kill back. Everyone else dies asleep. Caution and quiet. Go."_

She left us. Yusui and I looked at each other.

" _You distract, and then we work?"_ He asked, gold eyes focused and sharp despite the lack of rest he had. I nodded and raised my bow a little. We would do this just like we did it last time. I nocked an arrow and aimed just above the compound mouth, at the dirt sitting on the ceiling of the stone. I needed them to come out and observe the noise they heard, but not see my arrow and alert everyone else to an attack. Yusui readied two kunai as I aimed; one he would actually use in the next minute or so, and another just in case.

I aimed carefully, and waited for the slight evening breeze to stop ruffling the fuzzy, black bunny tail I attached to my string as a silencer. The bow was quiet to begin-with; it was expertly crafted, however, I didn't like taking chances. I would rather _know_ that I can't be heard, rather than assume that I'm _probably_ not heard. Once the wind died down, I released the string and the arrow flew, hitting the dirt mound atop the entrance, just like I wanted it to.

As expected the chakras of the guards fluctuated and I quickly readied another arrow and concentrated on the entrance. Soon enough, either both or one of them would come out to see what the noise was. I heard Yusui release a slow, calming breath. I watched the two guards talk to each other in my mind. I leaned over to Yusui.

"One." Meaning, only one is making his way outside. The other would wisely wait inside, just in case. This was going to be a little harder than we hoped; they obviously weren't inexperienced, because if they were they'd both run out at once.

However, because they were both calm, we can assume that they assumed the noise was an animal of some sort. They weren't paranoid and as of right now, I don't think they sense us.

Pretty soon, the moon above illuminated a teenaged boy, no more than sixteen, I would say. His head was shaved bald and I couldn't tell what color his eyes were from here. He had his right cheek pierced with one of those barbell rings, and he loosely held a sword in his hand. I could practically _feel_ Yusui's irritation at the kid's lack of skills. If an opponent even looked like he was holding his sword wrong, they immediately lost Yusui's respect.

The boy looked around for the source of the noise and made the stupid choice of walking away from the entrance, towards the side, where the likelihood of his comrade seeing him and what was about to happen to him was less.

He didn't expect my arrow to pierce right through the back of his skull. He stood there for a moment before his body dropped to its knees and collapsed face-forward into the dirt and grass.

 _That_ made his comrade worry. I sensed the alarm in his chakra. He must have heard the unmistakable sound of a corpse hitting the floor. He ran towards the entrance.

"Now." I whispered, and Yusui fused his chakra into his kunai _just_ as the other guy— a young adult of some age in a blue bandana with some beard hair— ran out. He was turned to the side, towards where he heard his teammate fall, and just as his eyes landed on the corpse…just as he was aware of what had happened, _just as he was turning his head towards us to follow the trajectory of my arrow_ , Yusui's kunai tore through his throat, nearly severing his head. Some skin and muscle held it intact and cause it to flop to the side as his body dropped, not far from his comrade's.

I hated doing this, but I ignored that as we turned to each other.

"We have to clean that, ASAP, just in case someone approaches." Yusui explained quietly. He was a clean killer and didn't like to leave behind a mess; again, the perfect anbu.

"There isn't anyone to discover this for miles." I countered quietly. He looked at me, eyes studying my face before he finally nodded.

"Alright, let's go then. We're wasting time." He grimaced because no one wants to do what we're about to, and took off, knowing I would follow. We silenced our steps once inside and I was relieved to see that the targets were still asleep. Mira-sensei just killed the guard at the back entrance and was making her way towards the left, where I told her the jounin was asleep.

It would be easy to kill these guys... if we knew how to get to them. I sensed them all, of course, but remember, I could feel them through walls; I can't exactly walk through walls to get to them. The inside of the compound was an intentional maze, lit by torches. Before we turned into any hallways, we looked at the linear patterns on the stone walls, ceiling and floor to see if maybe they fucked up and left some indication of how to navigate through this thing in the patterns.

Everything was pretty repetitive and similar. There weren't even cracks in the walls that could possibly be directional markers.

"This sucks." I whispered. Yusui nodded and approached a corridor directly to our left. I approached the one to our right. We already knew we wouldn't be splitting up. Fuck that. He needed me to navigate to our targets anyway.

We looked for footprints, a change in the dirt covering the stone, _anything_. Both hallways were undisturbed, so we met up back in the main corridor.

"Think we should move forward?" I asked. He nodded.

"We'll find some indication ahead."

With that, we ghosted our way up the hallway and truth be told, we found little dirt stains here and there that looked like someone had walked through not long ago. This was the way to go. Yusui looked down at the near-invisible disturbances on the floor while I kept my eyes peeled for anything that might come our way. Little by little, turn by turn, we made our way to the chamber of the first sleeping victim; the son from before. Yusui and I shared a broken look while we opened the door. The kid slept like an angel with a smile on his face. I raised my bow, but Yusui placed a hand on my wrist and shook his head.

His intentions were clear: he didn't want me to have the blood of a child staining my hands. I watched the warmth in his eyes die and flinched as he stabbed his knife through the child's eye and deep into his brain. The boy exhaled his last breath; he never knew it was coming. I bit my lip as he covered his blood-stained face with the sheet.

We left as quickly as possible, and went onto the next victim, his father, who slept in the chamber down that hall and around the corner. The rooms were spread wide apart— a huge fault in the design of the building, because in events such as this one, there was no one around the hear anyone else die

I put an arrow through his head and made it quick.

After that, we walked a little further down the hall and reached a dead-end.

"We have to tu—

BOOM!

The hiss of an exploding tag, tucked into the top left corner of the ceiling above interrupted my speech, and we dodged as the ceiling began to cave in. We scrambled and ran as fast as we could, because that one explosion, which we probably tripped with our chakra just by approaching it, set off a series of other explosions that blew up the rest of the compound. Yusui and I ran for the mouth of the compound to survive.

I sensed everyone else run for the exits, just like us, and once Mira-sensei was out— with four pursuers after her; the jounin being one of them— she tripped the exploding tags she set up earlier and sealed off the alternate exits. Only those four pursuers managed to escape; they must have squeezed through, just before she blew shit up.

The entire compound collapsed, just as Yusui and I rolled onto the dirt and grass where the entrance used to be. Yusuke appeared next to us and hauled me to my feet by my upper arm. I was grateful for the support and quickly sealed away my bow. It's time to bring out the big guns.

"What happened!" Yusuke called over the roar of rocks crumbling and falling atop each other, stoning the unfortunate souls beneath and burying them alive. They all died.

"A trap." Yusui growled as he climbed to his feet and dusted off his grey top, one of his swords still firmly in-hand.

We all sensed the flashes of chakra nearby and ran through the dust and across the rubble to help Mira-sensei. She was holding her own, but it was a deadly dance of avoidance as all four survivors ganged up on her.

Yusuke charged up his arm with his lightning bomb and tossed it a the ground where most of the enemies were to create chaos. Three of the four screamed and jumped aside as Mira-sensei, pissed as hell, sent a gust of wind out of her fans so strong it lifted the earth up in chunks. The pieces of ground and torrent of wind slammed into the jounin— a woman with a long, plum braid and messy bangs. To defend herself and counter some of the force of the jutsu, she wove signs, slammed her palms into the ground and raised a wall of earth tall enough to protect herself. Mira-sensei ignored the others, trusting us to take care of them.

And the real shit started from there.

Yusuke, Yusui and I jumped onto King Tut, Scarface, and Death— the only survivors— like bloodhounds on a wounded raccoon. Yusuke's fists glowed with electricity, and I summoned two huge torrents of water from my seals like a waterbender from hell.

Yusui threw a kunai right at King Tut, who just barely dodged the precise attack in the chaos and dust, but not without injury. He roared in pain as the kunai stabbed and shot right through the hoop on his earlobe, tearing his ear and yanking the connected nose piercing right out of its place. Now, with two fresh rips in his skin and blood pouring down the left side of his face and neck, he held his sword out, his dark eyes psychotic with rage.

"I'll make you pay for that!" He roared. It must have taken all of his willpower to not place his hand over his injury.

I smelled the poison on his blade, and my eyes widened. Yusui would have to be extra careful this time.

"It's poisoned!" I called as I lunged for Death, avoiding a swipe of his scythe.

"I figured! Rr-agh!" Yusui shouted back just before he and King Tut connected sharp blades and fierce eyes.

Scarface whipped out a fire jutsu that I countered with a ball of water before it could hit Yusuke, who flew through the steam with a kick that connected with his opponent's solar plexus. Yusuke smirked too soon, because the muscle on that guy was so thick that the force of the kick almost didn't matter…almost. Scarface would definitely have some bruising there if he survived, but Yusuke wasn't planning on letting him live as he called lightning to his fists again, and jumped at him, ready to engage in close-quarters combat. If Scarface can't make seals, he can't attack, or at least that's Yusuke's plan for now.

Death smirked at me as I ducked beneath his scythe after helping Yusuke out. As far as I could tell, I had a couple of advantages over him. He's tall, I'm small. I can weave between any of his short-range attacks. Also, his weapon is long, meaning he only has a few ways he could swing it.

There's a line right in the middle of the scythe, which could mean a number of things, however. Either there's a chain of some sort there, or a blade, or some other sinister weapon within it. Or, it could just be there to confuse people who notice it, like me. That's a problem.

My teammates and I battled as we danced around gusts of wind and chunks of rocks from Mira-sensei's battle with the jounin woman. We were all so loud and terrifying in the middle of this quiet forest, on top of the uneven, stone rubble, that we scared all the animals and birds away.

Death swiped horizontally with his scythe, attempting to cut my body in half, but I sensed the fluctuation of the chakra in his arm just before he acted, and then jumped early enough so I could push off of the flat part of his blade with my foot. I threw the kunai Sanno gave me as I shot into the air, but Death parried it with the pole of his scythe. It ricocheted off to the side, but that was okay with me; there's more where that came from.

I unsealed more kunai while in the air, and scattered them around before I fell back to the ground. I didn't bother tensing up or moving out of Death's way as he chuckled, thinking he would deliver the final blow from above my head.

He was wrong; sucks for him.

My hand was already in the tiger seal and my mind was already searching for the proper kunai to teleport to. Images of the battlefield from different angles flashed through my mind's eye and when I picked the right one, I relaxed my chakra just a bit and disappeared, right as the blade crashed into the ground with the amount of force Death put into it to end my life.

I was behind him now, the kunai that I teleported to in-hand. He inhaled sharply, noticing that his scythe didn't cut through flesh or bone. He sensed me behind him and desperately tried to raise his blade, but couldn't because it was stuck in the rubble. By the time he thought to let it go, I ran the short knife into his liver, all the way to its handle. He screamed and pushed off the ground to get away from me.

He stumbled and fell right into Yusuke's path as my teammate was back-flipping away from a vicious blast of fire. Seeing his chance while in mid-air, Yusuke used the muscles of his body to change his trajectory, and drove his remaining ball of lightning into the back of Death's neck, completely obliterating it and leaving nothing but half of a skull behind. Even his blood evaporated under the intense heat of the attack.

However, Yusuke was now in danger. He was basically doing a hand stand, his left in between the two remaining parts of Death, and his right on the rubble next to it. He would be unable to dodge the blast of fire he would have avoided had he allowed his body to sail further forward like he originally planned. But I had his back. In a second, I teleported to the kunai laying directly next to him, my arm raised and ready to grab his pant leg before I even utilized my jutsu. Once I was next to him, I grabbed his clothes and tugged him downwards with all the strength in my left arm as I home-run slid across the chunks of rock behind him, but ahead of me. My back hit the rubble below at the same time that Yusuke's front did and we successfully ended up beneath the blast of fire that raged above our heads.

There was no time for a "thank you" or an "oh my god." I released Yusuke's pant leg and shot to my feet, running at Yusui who not only had to dodge King Tut's blade, but his fucking senbon, too. Tut was able to put distance between himself and Yusui and that spelled trouble. A chill ran up my spine as I deflected a few needles with the thick sleeve of my haori, sparing Yusui from having to worry about his left side.

Tut laughed manically as he released kunai, senbon, and shuriken from the pouches on his legs. They all reeked of poison and it was impossible to break through his storm of metal, so I danced around his attacks to his side, where he couldn't guard himself from me and fight Yusui at the same time. I lunged at him with a roar, throwing a kunai with my personalized hiraishiin seal etched into the metal at his face. He dodged by throwing his head back; the motion interrupted his rain of weapons, and Yusui charged forward with both of his blades ready to cut the motherfucker into pieces.

Tut smirked, and bent his arm at the elbow. His one dark eye turned to look at me, and I was confused as a wire cut into my shoe, slicing the skin beneath it, while flipping me onto my back. I grit my teeth and let out a grunt as fire spread up my leg. He poisoned me and I didn't even notice the ninja wire that had laced around my shoe at some point.

" _Yuzuhaaaa!"_ Yusui screamed and when the pain in my mind cleared enough for me to react, I realized it was too late. I smelled the cloud of poison heading my way as I hit the ground, a few stones stabbing my shoulder blades and occipital bone. It was a wind jutsu, combined with poison smoke from a smoke bomb or something, and he was sending it my way. It was too late to even raise my fingers and teleport.

 _Fuck_.

I blinked, but I was covered in cloth before my lids opened completely. I heard Yusui scream in agony above me until his voice cracked. Yusui was barely audible 24/7 unless he had a reason to be an ass. In fact, I didn't even know what he sounded like while in pain because any time we trained together, he held his complaints back if he ever got hit.

Hearing him wail out such a heart-wrenching sound terrified me. I was stunned silent as his chest pressed into my face. The cloth of his grey haori created a seal around my head and what remained of my shoulders and his waist and legs were pressed against the lower half of my body so tightly I could feel the bones of his knees and femur pressing against the sides of mine. He was shaking and coughing and finally, it was too much to bear for him. He rolled over and grasped the back of his neck, where his skin was bruised purple. The cloud of smoke was gone, but he was writhing in agony. I watched with wide eyes as his the purple spread from the back of his neck to the left side of his jaw and beneath his dark head of hair.

Tut laughed psychotically as Yusuke cursed from a distance. I heard a hard thump and a grunt of agony leave Scarface's disfigured mouth, but none of it mattered because my teammate looked like he was dying as he held into his arms, clutching at the fabric of his sleeves as if he was being fried from the inside out.

Time seemed to stop for a moment as I reached for his face.

"Bite!" I commanded and stuck my ring and pinky fingers into his mouth. I placed my palm under his chin and forced it upwards, cringing as his teeth bit my skin and started sucking charka right out of my body. I had never attempted to use the healing bit before; I never really had a reason to. I had no idea if it would work for poison. In cannon, the most I've seen it do is heal gaping wounds and whatnot.

Yusui screamed louder and shook his head, freeing my hand from his mouth as his skin purpled more, the ugly color spreading up his across his face twice as fast. I felt useless, hopeless, lost, confused. What the fuck do I do now? Why didn't it work!?

Tut's chuckles reached my ears, and tears came to my eyes because I was frozen…because I could do nothing for the boy writhing in pain next to my knees on his back.

"That's not a normal poison, you know…" Tut took the time to taunt me. "It accelerates cell growth, in fact."

 _What_?

"It's a neuro-toxin that causes the brain's chemicals to trigger the body's cells to reproduce at a rapid rate. Medical ninjutsu will only exasperate the growth of the cells." He laughed again. "I figured he had a few hours to live, but you've just shortened his life even more! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He threw his head back as dread settled into my chest. My mind was panicking and it felt like my soul's weight tripled.

What do I do? What do I _do_!?

Yusui coughed.

"Y-Yuzuha."

"How pathetic. He's still trying." Tut wiped tears of joy from the corner of his left eye, ignoring the blood still pouring from where his _stupid_ fucking piercings used to be.

"Stop talking. You need to hang on. Just save your words; you're going to liv—

" _Yuzuha_." His terrified eyes looked into mine as he grasped my forearm. "Listen— rrr-urgh!" Every muscle in his body seized up, and he placed his palm on his chest, right where his heart is.

No… _no_ …!

My ears felt like I had cotton in them. I gaped and barely registered the vibrations in the ground from Yusuke and Mira-sensei's battles. I'm sure an explosion or two went off, because the entire field lit up in orange and red. I smelled fire and smoke. The forest was beginning to burn.

"Yusui…" I whispered. He grit his teeth and I could tell he was ignoring the pain in his chest. I felt his limbs shaking and his grip on my forearm weakening. This cold boy who I never thought would _ever_ cry, began to cry. His honey eyes held fear, desperation, and above all, sadness.

"I—" He coughed and took a huge gasp of air with his eyes wide with pain. He coughed again and used every ounce of his remaining strength to refocus on me. He took a huge gulp of hair.

… _Please_ no… _please_ don't act like that. You're strong! You're not supposed to look like that you stupid kid!

I was gaping at him and my eyes felt hot; whether that was from the heat building in the area or from my own tears, I don't know. I didn't know anything. I couldn't feel anything; not in this moment.

"I've always… _always_ …" He squeezed my forearm one last time.

"…wanted to say I'm _sorry_." He could take no more breaths; his lungs were suffering and his grip on my arm became limp. His eyes looked into mine. I stared at him, shell shocked.

"Yusui—!

I said his name, ready to tell him that he's an idiot and that he won't die, but his eyes faded out, just like that bird's all those years ago before I could say anything more.

I didn't believe it.

"Yusui…" I grabbed his hand off of my arm, lifted it and shook it. "Yusui, come on!" I dropped his limb and gripped both of his shoulders.

No…

I shook him.

Nothing.

No!

"Wake up!"

I shook him more.

"Stop doing this!" I shook him more.

"Stop playing around! Stop it! Stop it! _Stop it!_ "

But he was unresponsive, his skin completely purple, lumps growing beneath it around his collar bones.

As if to mock me, my senses didn't register his chakra anymore. It's as if he didn't exist, even though I was looking right at him. There was a dissonance in my mind. My eyes and mind were telling me that he's _right there_ , but my senses and instincts were telling me he didn't exist.

He was gone.

Dead.

…

 _Dead_.

Tut's laughter reached my ears, amongst shouts of jutsu from Yusuke, Scarface, and grunts of pain from Mira-sensei.

"What a pathetic confession!" He laughed again. "What stupid last words! But don't worry, I'll make sure to send you both to hell on the same day!"

His laughter disturbed the numbness of the shock I felt. I felt despair settle into my heart… it was so potent I'm sure it seeped into my bones and became an ugly part of me. I didn't want to feel it, so I decided to feel rage instead.

This mother _fucker_ … with his _stupid_ laugh, and his _stupid_ fucking face, and his _stupid fucking existence_ …

"I'm going to erase you." I hissed under my breath.

And that was when I found myself somewhere else, although, I knew where I was. The sewer-like scene, along with the dripping of pipes and calf-length murky water was all familiar to me from canon. When I turned around, my eyes focused on the smirking face of the kyuubi. He grinned like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland as red smoke seeped from between the bars of the gate holding him back and around my legs.

Ordinarily, his deep, rumbling and knowing chuckle would have made anyone shake in their boots. Well, I was shaking in my boots alright, but not because I was afraid, no. I was beyond pissed. I beyond even livid or any word you can describe anger with. There wasn't a word for what I felt. Hatred didn't even cover the feeling properly. I'm going to murder that cock-sucking son of a bitch-whore and laugh doing it.

"What beautiful rage." Kurama complemented.

"Hey…Want to kill some people?" I was quiet, but deliberate.

The fox smirked.

"Heh…"

And I blanked out from there.

* * *

Yusuke tried not to let the panic settle in. Yusui had died, the jounin opponent had smashed Mira-sensei's temple with a rock, and the man with the ugly mouth was advancing on him, while his friend slowly made his way towards his shell-shocked teammate.

His mind was running through strategies and possible outcomes faster than Yuzuha could teleport, almost making him dizzy. He didn't know what to do first; dodge to the left, block his right side, or charge straight ahead towards his teammate and hope for the best?

" _Yuzuuu_!" He screamed for her instead, hoping she'd snap out of it and give him some more time and lifted his arms to block a massive boulder flying his way from the jounin woman, hell-bent on killing him right where he stood.

He summoned a ball of lightning to his right hand. At best, he could hope to break apart the boulder, or most of it anyway, and then he could preemptively backflip to avoid any possible attacks from the scarred man and _maybe_ simultaneously distract the two opponents with an exploding tag _if_ he could pull the damn thing from the pouch on his left leg fast enough.

 _Damn it_ …

He gritted his teeth, feeling utterly hopeless and alone, until dread settled into the core of his being like a curtain falling over a stage. It was as if the universe had suddenly decided to completely turn against this one place on earth. He felt as if his soul was already damned, as if he was marked for death. It caused his instincts to nearly spin out of his control, and when he barely deflected the boulder to his right with a tremendous effort, tossing it somewhere aside, he realized that all three of his opponents were frozen in their places.

There was thick silence, and not even the wind dared to flow through the area. His enemies all held looks of terror that most likely mirrored his own as they gaped at his teammate, surrounded by a sinister, red glow that seemed tangibly poisonous in its hatred.

She was a different person; this certainly wasn't the Yuzuha he knew. She was still hunched over Yusui's corpse, but the other-worldy growls leaving her mouth made it clear that she was not in any way vulnerable. He was sure that even the flames licking the field were terrified of her, for they dared not advance from where they were.

He watched as the chakra glowing around her body formed three tails that sprouted from her lower back, each one made with a spine of what looked like a gold whip. When she turned her head, she made eye contact with the pierced man, who paled and dropped his curved sword, despite his tan skin. It was as if Yusuke was watching the man watch his own death before it even happened. He shook all over, his previous laughter dead and gone, as Yusuke was certain he would be soon.

Yuzuha's eyes were… not Yuzuha's eyes. The usually warm grey was now darkened, as if someone had sprinkled finely ground coal atop it and her pupils were no longer round. Both her eyes and mouth were lined in black and the unearthly red glow cast an orange hue onto her skin. She looked feral, and he was certain that he was in just as much danger as the enemies around him.

Thus, as with any wild animal, his best option was to stay still and not attract any attention to himself. Unfortunately, his opponents adopted the same strategy. He wished they'd move, because he was certain that they'd get attacked first. Yuzuha, on all fours, turned away from Yusui's corpse, towards the pierced man. He let out a fearful breath, and that quiet sound heralded the beginning of his end.

She shot towards him, nothing but a red streak in the night as debris and dust kicked up behind her, unable to withstand the force and power in her movements. The moon and stars seemed to mourn the man who screamed when she leaped at him, her hands and feet burning through his clothes and skin as she tackled him to the ground and roared like a demon into his face. Immediately the man began to cry.

"P-p-please d-don—

She tore into his neck with her teeth and he screamed as she ripped out muscles, tendons and other disgusting innards he didn't want to think about.

 _We're all screwed…_

The man choked on his own blood, but still, she tore at his face with her nails, burning flesh, and tearing apart the rest until there was nothing left but a hollow indentation where his face use to be. The other two opponents finally reacted, and shared a look while Yusuke dropped to his knees, unable to believe what he was seeing. Yuzuha roared into the sky and he knew the other two didn't realize that she was ready for them; that she would brutalize them the same way she did their comrade.

Before the jounin could finish weaving her hand-signs, one of the gold whips within Yuzuha's tail shot out from the tip of the tail and stabbed her through the chest. The red chakra then traveled up the whip and bled into the woman's corpse and Yusuke watched her orifices bleed before her skin peeled away from the heat and pressure.

The woman's blood boiled away and the Yuzuha's tail threw the body at the man with the ugly mouth with such force, it stopped him in his tracks and threw him into a nearby tree, breaking the bark and causing the trunk to fold, trapping the enemy beneath it.

He heard the man cry and beg Kami-sama with wide eyes for help as he tried to pull his trapped legs out from beneath the trunk, delirious from fear and panic. Yuzuha roared into the night again, terrifying the moon, angry that he didn't die. Yusuke watched as she intentionally crawled over to the man at a slow pace, just to let him wallow in his fear before his inevitable death.

He wondered if he should run. His eyes trailed over to where Mira-sensei's body lay limp atop the rubble of the collapsed compound. He could see her chest rise and fall but she was bleeding from her temple, and the injury caused him worry.

He dared to move.

As fast as he could, he ran to his sensei, and fell to his knees next to her. He shook her.

"M-Mira-sensei." He whispered and heard the fear in his voice. He _never_ stuttered before today. The woman didn't respond. "D-damn i-it." He gritted his teeth, shaking all over. What should he do? What _can_ he do?

He heard the man scream, and looked over to the broken tree he lay beneath. Yuzuha was in his face, simply staring at him as his body became limp, low growls coming from her throat. The man had given up on trying to save himself from the deranged girl. He watched in horror as she placed a small hand around the man's large nose. Innediately he flinched and screamed. She ripped the body part off and flung it to the side. Yusuke heard it fly into a bush with a hiss while the man released another scream; this one pierced the night air, filled with pain and suffering.

He was sure that somewhere, Kami-sama heard that anguished cry… and ignored it, because Yuzuha stuck one finger into each of his eyes, and slowly pushed until the man was blinded and screaming in agony. He tried to place his arm over his eyes instinctively, but she tore it off with her free hand, tossing the limb to the side the same way she did his nose. This body part his a tree trunk with a thump and a squelch that had Yusuke stomach churning with nausea.

His head was beginning to spin, and his heart was about to thunder out of his chest. He was starting to hyperventilate, because he was terrified that he'd be next once she was done with the man.

He sensed wetness on his cheeks and knew that he was crying on instinct. He wanted to close his eyes and be anywhere else but where he was, but he could only hold Mira-sensei's body in his lap and hope for the best. His fate was in kami-sama's hands and he prayed that he had done enough good deeds in life to escape from the situation intact.

He watched as more gold whips escaped from Yuzuha's body. They planted themselves into the ground around her, and distracted her. Yusuke became just as confused as she. He watched her try to tug free of the chains, but they were firmly rooted into the earth. He was sure those streams of light had to attach to the other side of the earth to hold her back, but he was grateful for them. More and more of them began to grow through her skin and wrap around her body, stifling the hell-chakra that cloaked her form.

Just what the hell is going on now?

* * *

"What are you doing!" Kurama boomed, enraged.

I released a grunt of effort as I attempted to cover the front of Kurama's cage in chakra chains that awakened out of my desperation and lack of control over the situation. I _have_ to stop the smoke from coming out of the cage and touching me!

I heard the screams of anguish through the walls of this shitty place and I had no idea whose they were.

What if they were Yusuke's?

I acted too rashly in my pain and anger. I hate, _hate_ not thinking! I hate feeling and this is why!

What if Yusuke dies because I unleashed this power!? God _damn it_ , Yuzuha! Look what you fucking did!

I let out a desperate sob. Why can't I do this faster? What if I'm too late? What if I hurt Yusuke!

Please, just not Yusuke. _Please_ not Yusuke!

More and more chains shot out of my arms, my ribs, my fucking neck; everywhere. More and more chains wove together creating a solid, gold wall over three-quarters of the fox's cage.

"How dare you! Release me! Taste my power! Revive me!" Kurama roared in a fit, his snout rubbing against the bars.

What have I done? What in the _fuck_ have I done?

"Hey, Kurama…" I grunted his name, sweat beading down my temple. I watched the fox's eyes widen. Once I knew I had his attention with his real name, I prepared to act while I still had the element of surprise.

"How do you know my—

"Go to _sleep_!" I released a roar of effort and hundreds of tiny chains shot out of the remaining parts of my body, covering the rest of Kurama's cage. He roared in an effort to fight back, but the sound was muffled and suddenly I found myself face-first in the dirt in front of a fallen tree trunk. I groaned, feeling exhausted and nauseous.

There was something dripping on my head and cheek and when I looked up, I saw the partially severed head of Scarface, his eyes gouged out, and his nose…nonexistent. Droplets of his cold blood peppered my eyebrows and hairline and I exhaled in relief.

It wasn't Yusuke's blood, that God. But where is—

"Yuzuha!" I heard him shout from the other side of the decimated battlefield in a terrified tone. Rocks, chunks of concrete or whatever the compound was made of, branches, pieces of wood and everything that could possibly be in this environment littered the area in an incoherent mess, accentuated with flames that still burned bushes and settled on stones in random places. I spotted a couple of dead birds, too; caught in the cross-fire.

Yusuke was holding someone… I saw the brown hair and partially shaved head and lifted my body with what little strength and willpower I had left to spend. I stumbled and fell but I got back up as I ran for them. Yusuke was pale, shaken, and scared. He flinched when I dropped to my knees next to him. I ignored his fear of me and forced Mira-sensei to bite my pinky finger, the same way I forced Yusui to before he died... before I fucking helped him die. I felt my chakra drain again, but this time her body began to glow and heal; it was helping this time, not hurting. Eventually, she stopped sucking chakra from me. She was back in health, though she was still unconscious.

Yusuke and I just sat there, in the nightmare I created for a couple of minutes, catching up to the situation. Once I was over the initial wave of exhaustion and began to recover, the numbness settled in; now is not the time to cry. I'll deal with this when I get home… when I can just cry by myself.

But still…Yusui's _dead_... I bit my lip.

He's fucking dead.

"Wait here." I whispered. Yusuke didn't reply and I got up and got to work. I lined the entire field with exploding tags, collecting the kunai I dropped in the area... and Yusui's swords. I sealed up as many bodies …and body parts as I could find, placing Yusui's untouched corpse in a special scroll I always kept blank because it's pretty.

I sealed the scrolls into the seals stitched into my armguards and made my way back to Yusuke. He was clutching onto Mira-sensei, shaking now that he was aware of his safety. He wasn't crying, but tears were leaking out of his eyes. His body hasn't caught up to his mind yet.

"Can you carry her?" I asked.

"Y…" He had to swallow first. "Yes." Then, bravely, he turned and finally looked me in the eye. I don't know what he saw on my face, but he pushed aside his fear, gently placed Mira-sensei on the ground and stood up. He took two long steps towards me, and I already opened my arms, because I expected his bear hug. He squeezed me almost to the point of suffocation and I thoroughly felt his relief along with his guilt.

"I'm sorry." His words came out as a weak exhalation. I don't know if he was apologizing for everything that happened or something he did. I didn't pry. "Are you okay?"

"I'm alright. But we have to get out of this area. I put exploding tags all over this place. We don't have time to dawdle and dig through the dirt for dead bodies."

My words were muffled and spoken into his jacket, but it didn't matter because he was the only one who needed to hear them. I felt him nod above me. He held me at arms length, examined me for a second, and then turned to haul Mira-sensei into his arms.

We took off. When we were far away enough, I blew the place sky-high. The dawn was thrice as red that morning. I wasn't worried about a forest fire, either; the woods were damp enough from recent rains to put everything out before it could spread any further out. All I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. We set up a half-assed camp after a few miles of travel.

I knew that at this point in the day I would need to eat, but my stomach was in such tight knots it didn't even bother to rumble. My appetite was as dead as my favorite asshole.

Thinking about that threatened to bring tears to my eyes, so I pushed it out of my mind. Instead, I thought of revenge; of making a statement to the whole world that I was angry and that there would be hell to pay for if anyone ever so much as bruised another of my precious people again.

I found my answer.

And I summoned a hiraishiin kunai before I stood up and turned away from him.

Yusuke looked up from his bowl of miso.

"Yuzu?" His voice betrayed his exhaustion and I questioned whether or not it was wise to leave him alone, even if there was no one around for miles. I stopped and turned towards him.

"I'll be back eventually, I promise." My voice was colder than I meant it to be.

His green eyes narrowed in response.

"What are you going to do?"

… Should I tell him? What the hell, why not? He can handle it.

"Hang the bodies all over where the compound stood. If they have any friends that will come looking for them, it'll send a clear message."

"Or it'll terrify the next innocent person who ventures there. You're not supposed to leave anyway, it's against protocol." He explained, and damn him, he was right. I was letting my anger control me again. I had a valid reason to go, of course. In case those guys were in contact with Orochimaru, or some other sinister group, it _would_ send a clear message… but their compound being destroyed would send a message anyway, wouldn't it? My idea was just a bit excessive. I think I just want to make someone suffer at this point. It's not fair that I wasn't aware or conscious while the kyuubi took me over back there. I would pay good money to be able to go back in time and properly experience the horror I put them through. It's unsatisfying just knowing that I fucked them up; experiencing it would have been better.

I really should have been an Uchiha.

"Also… we have to talk about what to put in the mission report… and I'd rather talk about that before Mira-sensei wakes up…" Yusuke seemed almost pained to mention it; as if it was an extremely sensitive topic. I sighed and sat down.

"What do you want to do?" This would have to be a careful conversation… I have to get him to agree not to put my freak-out in the report. It's best to make him feel in control… answer the question, Yusuke.

We stared at each other for a while before he sighed and ran a hand through his messy, brown hair, right above his forehead protector.

"I want to protect you… but how the hell do we explain that we took out a jounin and two chunnin while Mira-sensei was unconscious?" I gaped at the kid. He was serious. He was fully prepared to bullshit his report, and create a fake story to cover the fact that I literally unleashed the demon within me because I lost control of my emotions. I blinked. Twice.

For real, dude?

"…I don't know either. What were you planning on doing before I …freaked out, I guess?" I asked.

"Dodging…maybe trying genjutsu for once and hoping for the best." He shrugged and I snorted. He grinned and the next thing I knew we were laughing.

"You?" I snickered. "Genjutsu? Yeah right."

He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed blush on his cheeks.

"Ouch, Red, you don't have to be so harsh. Who knows, maybe the crappy attempt would have stopped them in their tracks and—

Both of our eyes widened.

"And I would have taken advantage, unleashing my chains for the first time, and killing them in rage and anguish…" I finished. We grinned at each other.

"A complete fluke!" He cheered with happy green eyes.

"Sounds like a plan."

We had our cover story.

"So you skewered them all in their vital points?"

"Sounds right. And we didn't have time to seal the bodies for evidence because we wanted to get Mira-sensei back as quickly as possible."

"So that's why we blew up the compound, right? To tie any loose ends."

"Right. It's not that far from the truth, anyway." I agreed.

"Crap! Don't forget to write that you healed Mira-sensei before we laid the explosives down!" He waved his hands, fully engulfed in concocting our lie.

"I won't." I promised and then sat back down with an audible thump. At least that's out of the way. Now all we have to do is lie to Mira-sensei's face about it. "We should practice the story and its details so we have it down. If we don't believe our own lie were screwed. We have to convince Mira-sensei, too—ttebane."

Yusuke paled and then looked over to Mira-sensei's unconscious form on his jacket just a meter away from us.

"We better start now, then. But first, burn the scrolls with the bodies in them… just not Yusui's… obviously."

We both looked down at our feet. I bit my lip again, to keep from crying. When I spoke, my voice was like steel.

"Let's get to work."

* * *

Everything went smoothly from the time Mira-sensei awoke to the time Jiji approved the written reports. I transferred Yusui's body into an ordinary scroll, and delivered it with Yusuke to his parents' house.

His mother was beautiful. She had long, dark hair and honey eyes. Yusui got his looks from her. His father, on the other hand… well, he seemed mean and cold. He snatched the scroll from us and slammed the door shut in our faces. That's it. We didn't even get a "hello, fuck you very much for the scroll kthxbyeee."

Yusuke had clenched his fists, ready to knock down the door in angry tears, but I explained that the man had a different way of expressing his pain and that he was probably blaming the death on us.

In truth… Yusui's death was my fault. Why did I jump in to help him? I could have snuck an attack in from behind or summoned more chakra for a water jutsu or something else. We could have, I don't know, reversed the cancerous poison or something if I hadn't advanced it with my healing bite. He would have had a greater chance if I didn't fuck up.

You can say that I didn't know what would happen, but that doesn't change anything, does it? I will always feel responsible.

We talked about it a lot; Yusuke and I. Mira-sensei was taking the death hard. She wasn't as spirited and, well, sadistic anymore. Yusuke always tried to convince me that it wasn't my fault and I did my best.

I eventually got tired of arguing with him.

You know, I'm glad that I killed the motherfucker who killed him. Yusuke told me what I did to him and the others… in detail, because it helped him psychologically recover.

I have to say… I'm not sorry for what I did. Like, at all.

Most would be.

Oh! How could you be so heartless Yuzuha! It's human life we're talking about! The villains are victims too!

I don't give a blue fuck about any of that.

Sorry, but I'm just not humanitarian enough to entertain those kinds of thoughts. They can rot in hell and I'm glad I put them there for what they did to Yusui; the whole fucking lot of them. If they hadn't been doing stupid shit, we wouldn't have been sent in to stop it and Yusui wouldn't have died as a result. They started it, so fuck them.

Except the dad and his son.

I felt guilt over them. The kid didn't know any better and a good father—like the guy seemed— wouldn't put his son in a situation like that without a good reason. I think he really was a good person doing bad things just to get by.

The three of us—Mira-sensei, Yusuke and I— never met at the same time until the day of the funeral.

That was a fucked up day.

It wasn't raining or anything. The last few funerals I've been to, back in my old life of course, it had rained. Especially for Frankie. I'll tell you his story, just not yet.

Anyway, it was actually sunny and there was a nice breeze. What was it, maybe 66 degrees Fahrenheit? Whatever. The weather couldn't improve my mood. Seeing the coffin during the wake, which took place right at the graveyard, and knowing Yusui's body was in it made me feel…bad. I can't describe it any other way. I just felt like a mixture of garbage and shit.

They were having a closed casket, because his skin had purpled everywhere and it just wasn't presentable in death no matter how much makeup they probably tried to put on his hands and face.

A wooden table stood next to the casket, right next to the six-foot-deep grave, which was right beneath the pristine, white stone with his name on it. There were no words written beneath it, like there usually would be for any other dead person. It pissed me off. He deserved more than just his name and date. He was more than that.

His father and mother stood next to his shrine on the table. His father had his arms crossed and his mother was sobbing her eyes out. He did not hold her.

There weren't many people at the funeral, just some family members from the Shimura clan, Yusuke, Mira-sensei, but most importantly Dicknugget-Danzo, and two people I didn't know from the police force who were asked to be security for the funeral, just in case. It was my turn to go up to his parents and bow, then say my final goodbyes to Yusui. Numbly, I lowered my head in front of them. When I straightened, I decided to tell them a few things.

"Your son was an amazing person and human being. He had my back more times than I can count and probably saved me even more than that. He was a great teammate and a cherished friend. I'm very sorry for your loss, but I have to congratulate you on raising such a wonderful son. He died valiantly and in the most honorable way."

His father's dark eyes narrowed.

"He died because he was weak, as I always knew he was. Take your flowered lies elsewhere where others can believe them."

I was stunned. Amidst Yusui's mother's sobs, I just stood there and looked up at the man who just insulted my teammate and invalidated all of his accomplishments… a sob distracted me, and my gaze fell on the mother for just a second, but then… in that one second… I noticed a few bruises beneath her large kimono sleeves.

You would never be able to tell, if you weren't looking at her from this angle, but they were there and they were dark and suddenly all of the combined rage and darkness you could collectively find in every ring of hell settled into every fiber of my existence.

Mother _fucker_.

"You wretched piece of _trash!_ " I let out a roar of anger that silenced the heavens above and launched at this son of a _fucking bitch_ in a blind rage. I saw nothing but my goal, which was to punch his face until it became concave. My mind went blank.

He called Yusui weak.

He beat Yusui's wife.

He didn't see worth in _either_ of them.

 _He's just like my father_.

I tackled him to the ground and punched his surprised face, but strong arms were hauling me off of him before I could get another good hit on him.

"Stop struggling! You're under arrest!"

I didn't give a _fuck_ what I was. I could be a blue alien for all I care, this dick needs an ass-whuppin' right. Now.

"Let me go! He beats his wife! He called my teammate weak! Let me _go_! Kill him! Arrest him! Raaaaagh!" I kicked and struggled. One policeman pushed my arms back from the front and the other held me under my arms from behind, his finger laced behind my neck. Between the two of them, I couldn't lift my arms and slip out of the hold. They were trying to lift me off the ground, turn me over and handcuff me.

"You failure of a human being! One day! One _day_! I promise you, you will die a painful death! And when you breathe your last breath, there will be no honor for you! There will be no tears! There will be no one and nothing and you will cease to exist and no one will bother to care! You aren't half the man your son was, you hear me!? Do you _hear me_!?" I raged blindly, spit flying from my mouth in my haste to get as many threats and obscenities out as possible.

One of the cops grabbed my chin and turned my head so I was face-to-face with him, and viciously, I glared into his eyes, fully prepared to try to bite his chin. I saw red and black and before I could calm down and break the genjutsu on me, it was too late.

* * *

I woke up in a dark, stone room, where I could barely feel my chakra. Something was suppressing it, and as I moved to sit up I groaned. I must have been out for hours on the uncomfortable floor because the whole right side of my body plus my back and neck were stiff and achy. I rubbed my head and tried to recall what happened. There was a single torch in the room and I could tell that I was underground because it was colder here than it should be during this season.

Fuck the cold. Stick me in any prison, dude just not a cold one.

I moved closer to the torch on the wall across from the cell and hugged my knees to my chest, leaning against the thick, metal bars of the cell. They took away my arm guards and tore off the seal stitched into my pants to prevent me from summoning any weapons.

I saw seals carved _everywhere_ ; on the floor, ceiling and walls of the cell and the hallway outside of it. I studied the lines and curves of the seals; they were chakra inhibitors. They were set up in such a way that the prisoner could have just enough chakra to feel normal and not go insane, but nowhere near enough to do anything with it.

Damn it. I succumbed to a sharingan beneath Shisui and Itachi's caliber. How embarrassing. I was so pissed in the moment that I let my guard down, assuming I was safe to do so within Konoha's walls. Fucking great. I looked straight ahead of me and saw a table. There was a chair and some food in a bowl next to a cup. At least they were nice enough to feed me, right?

I sighed.

You really fucked up now, Yuzuha.

You know, I had been in a cop car, once. Actually, twice. The first time was for loitering in front of an arcade at the mall. Mom got pissed about that. It was nothing though, because the mall security is a joke. But the second time was a little more serious. I was with my exboyfriend, the one before Tommy, who cheated on me with my best friend— another story for later. Anyway, towards the end of our relationship, we cut the Saturday SAT course we were enrolled in and decided to sit on the abandoned train tracks in our town.

Of course, some asshole called the cops on us. Turns out we were sitting right where some people threw some wood or something there and "disrupted the train's ability to pass through" which is utter bullshit, if you ask me, because there was never a train on those tracks as long as I've lived in that city, but _anyway_ , I had to call my mom to get me. We weren't even taken to the police station, or handcuffed. We were just stuffed in the back of the car. The cops were male and couldn't pat me down, but my ex got fresh with them about the law and what the cops could and couldn't do and I heard the guy yell at him so loudly I flinched in the backseat of the car.

Did you know the seats back there are hard and plastic? Yep. Just in case you bleed all over them, apparently. And there's plexi-glass between the front and back seats, _plus_ a criss-cross-patterned metal fence-thing. There is no way you can talk to the cops from the back seat through it like in the movies. There were also little loopy thingies to tether you down to via handcuffs and you couldn't open the doors from the inside. Once you were in there, you were in there. There's no escape.

Anyway, I've never been in a jail cell before. I saw a toilet in the far corner; a clean one that I wouldn't be using. I guess that's pretty accurate to the movies, right? Well, aside from the "clean" part.

Anyway, I don't know how long I sat there for until I heard shouting from somewhere down the hall. It was just incoherent echoes, but the tone was angry. A huge, metal door opened somewhere far away and footsteps echoed everywhere while someone was briskly walking through the area, hopefully to free me. It's dark here and though I like the silence, I need my freedom.

"Why the hell did you guys lock her up _here_ of all places!?"

Oh no… that was _definitely_ Shisui. Shit is about to go down.

"Calm down, Shisui."

Itachi. The peacemaker, as usual.

"No! And what's wrong with you, anyway! You're okay with just throwing a nine-year-old girl in a place like this!?"

"Those were the orders." A deep, annoyed voice replied. Whoever Shisui was yelling at, they were losing patience.

"This is a _maximum. Security. Cell._ " My first friend ever practically growled.

Shisui's having a B-F. A full-blown bitch-fit. Well _this_ is a first.

"Shisui. Calm down, it's not his fault."

"No! This is _wrong_."

"You know what, kid! You're fortunate they even cleared you to come down here! If Itachi-sama wasn't Fugaku-sama's son, we'd have kicked you out long ago! The least you could do is be grateful."

That's it. The guy snapped.

I heard Shisui mumble under his breath and suddenly, his annoyed tone was just around the corner. I first saw a hand holding a torch and the next thing I knew, I saw Shisui's curly head of hair and an irritated expression on his face. He looked like an angry cat, standing next to the Uchiha guard who sported a thick goatee and an eyebrow piercing. He held the torch I saw earlier in his right hand and clenched his fist in the other. Shisui must have really pushed him…

Itachi followed after him, and judging by the tenseness in his muscles and the super straight line of his mouth; he wasn't happy either.

"Yuzu!" Shisui was relieved to see me.

I smiled at him to put him at ease. Maybe he thought they were hurting me, or something?

When the guard didn't leave, the angry look returned to his young face. He whirled around with a glare I knew was probably scary despite his young age.

"Are you going to go away?" Shisui's question was deliver in a pinched tone. The guard's temper flared. I felt like I was swimming through pond water filled with tenseness and rage. Itachi put his hand on Shisui's shoulder before the guard could snap back and lose his cool for _real._

"Please forgive my cousin, Moshiro-san. He's had a long mission and an even longer day. Would you please give us a few minutes? We will leave when you return; you have my word."

Immediately the situation diffused. The man bowed.

"Of course Itachi-sama." And then he glared at Shisui.

"This won't be overlooked. Next time you won't get to come in." He warned and then turned and left. We all waited until we heard the metal door shut behind the man.

"Tch. As if I even need him to get in here." Shisui grumbled. "He's lucky I didn't just sneak in."

Itachi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was the first to turn around.

"How do you feel, Yuzuha?" He asked with a gentle expression. I beamed at him; he has a kind heart.

"I'm okay, really. Is Yusui's dad banged up?" I asked. Because, really, that was more important than me being imprisoned in the Uchiha jail. If I'm going to rot here, it better be worth it.

Shisui snorted as he whirled around.

"You bet he is. You hit 'im _hard_ Yuzu. You should have seen him bleeding all over the office up there. He was trying to call for your execution." Shisui chuckled.

"And they placed tissues into his nose…" Itachi added quietly and I burst out laughing.

"'Serves him right. You wanna know what that guy said?" I asked. "I can't _believe_ what he said." I looked down.

"We heard from witnesses…" Itachi replied. "We were on our way there, and then we saw them taking you."

I smacked my forehead.

"How embarassing. You know they knocked me out with the sharingan?"

"We heard. I thought we taught you better than that." Shisui crossed his arms and frowned down at me. Itachi decided to sit cross-legged in front of the cell, so Shisui mimicked him while I sighed and rubbed my head.

"I was really mad and I wasn't on guard. He had the audacity to smear Yusui's honor like that. _And_ I saw bruises on his wife's arms! What kind of man is that!? If you ask me, he deserved worse than just a punch to the face."

"Even so, you hit a civillian. Even if he's a retired shinobi, the consequences could be steep." Itachi gravely explained.

"The village isn't happy." Shisui grimaced.

"Damn… I really caused a headache, huh?"

This is bad.

"Wait!" A thought struck me. "Do you guys look bad now?" I pointed to the Uchiha fan on Shisui's shoulder strap to indicate that I was talking about their clan. I sincerely hoped that nothing I did would reflect badly upon them, since I was known for hanging out at the compound by now.

"What? No. The Shimura clan is hailing our clan as if we're heroes. The village practically fell in love with the Uchiha name, and that's great and all, but the bad thing is they kind of want you dead, now, so it's kind of not worth it." Shisui crossed his arms, obviously troubled by the whole thing.

Do I cheer or cry? Is it a good thing that I'm here? On the one hand, the Uchiha image greatly improved to the villagers. They proved that they're fair. Though I have a good relationship with the head of the police force and the main family, I was still treated like any other perpetrator, which is how justice and law should be for everyone. I look like the villain, attacking Yusui's father, and the policemen were the heroes.

Nothing like a good ol' cops vs robbers operation to improve your public image, huh?

With any luck I'll be able to get myself out of this mess and this good will towards the Uchiha will keep growing.

Hah! Suck on that, Danzo. Hopefully he wasn't expecting what happened and this whole situation was a stroke of luck on my part…

Probably not.

In fact, Danzo's probably planning something sinister for me right now. 'Wouldn't put it past him to do something ugly.

"How long have I been out for?"

"Half a day. It's eleven at night right now." Itachi informed.

Damn. It's been a while.

"And what about Naruto?" He was supposed to stay with me tonight. Now that he's older, Jiji was allowing me to care for him full-time any chance I had. The little runt accompanied me to my training sessions now and I came up with creative training exercises for him… just to get him a head start. Fugaku hasn't started teaching Sasuke anything yet, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that once Sasuke starts learning, he's going to catch up to Naruto really fast. I want to give my little brother as much of an upper hand as I can; it's what big sisters are for, after all.

"He's with Mikoto-baa and Sasuke. Hokage-sama has been in meetings all day since you freaked out. Fugaku-jii is with him, since, y'know, you're in police custody." Shisui explained. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good."

The metal door opened again and Shisui rolled his eyes. I smirked.

"Your friend is back." I laughed. He shot me a glare and he and Itachi stood up in unison.

" _I'll be back._ " Shisui mouthed when Itachi wasn't looking. I paled. Is he crazy?

" _Don't you dare."_ I mouthed back and gave him my most serious expression to which he winked to in response. Itachi's attention turned from the hallway back to me.

"Do you need anything while you're here? Blankets? A pillow? A book?" He offered and there was no doubt in my mind that he'd get me those things if I asked. "I'm not sure how much longer you're going to be kept here." He added.

"I'll be alright." I replied. "I'm always alright. I'm strong, remember?" I gave him a reassuring smile that I didn't feel deep down. It's easy for me to act strong. To me, these boys are children and I have super big sister powers from my last life. I can't help but reassure them. In reality, Yusui is dead, I'm facing possibly a prison sentence or some sort of horrible punishment, and Yusuke and Mira-sensei need me and I'm not there for them _plus_ I have a lot of other things to worry about, like my ultimate plans being derailed by this fiasco.

"I'll see if otou-sama could move you somewhere warmer in the meantime." Itachi's voice was promising and I gave him a grateful smile. He knew I hated the cold.

"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. Tell Naruto that I love him and please tell Mikoto-sama that I'm very grateful to her for taking care of him."

"Will do." Shisui saluted with a grin.

"Mn."

Both of my friends made eye contact with the Uchiha guard from before, nodded and wordlessly left. I was alone again. 'Might as well eat and fall asleep at the table, then, I guess. I got up with a groan that an old man would be proud of, using the bars of the cell for assistance.

I smirked when I looked into the bowl. There were rice balls in it, but not just any rice balls; _square_ rice balls. Mikoto-sama made it a point to let me know that she's supporting me in her own way. Gratefully, I tore into the food, hungry as all hell.

All I can do right now is wait…'Might as well come up with some strategies while I have time to think.

* * *

Well that was a doozy to write, though it went by so quick! For some reason I really liked writing this chapter.

How do you guys like Yuzuha being in jail? Lol

Btw, I really appreciate all of the reviews. I didn't have a moment to answer you guys, but I want you to know that I equally share your excitement! I've been building up for these next few chapters and finally getting to the scenes I've been dreaming about writing for years!

Anyway, until next time!

See ya later, space cowboy!

Disclaimer: Sigh… do I really need this here? I don't claim to own Naruto ™®


	13. Goodbye

Let me tell you, this chapter was difficult to write. I think I was out of the flow for a while because I kept editing, deleting, rewriting, etc. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this, and if you're lost or can't remember what happened last time, _please_ read the summary below.

 **Summary:** In the last episode of… How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto…! On a mission, Shimura Yusui sacrificed his life for Yuzuha, who unleashed the kyuubi for the first time because of his untimely death. Mira-sensei was unconscious during this event, so Yusuke and Yuzuha decided to keep it to themselves to keep her out of trouble. During Yusui's funeral, his abusive father made a nasty remark about his deceased son, which set Yuzuha off. She assaulted him, but was stopped by the Uchiha police force before she could do any more damage to the man. She was rendered unconscious by the police, and woke up in a maximum security prison cell underground, where Itachi and Shisui were able to briefly visit her.

* * *

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|13|

Eventually, just an hour or so later, Fugaku came to retrieve me. He arrived alone and I was grateful for that because I didn't feel like dealing with strangers at the moment. I had been trying to sleep, but that was a lost cause. _You_ try sleeping in a cold basement.

"You went pretty far to prove a point." He sighed and crossed his arms when he approached the bars holding me back from freedom. He looked tired but in-control as usual; super professional.

I shrugged.

"Itachi and Shisui told me that he bled all over the office. I think it's worth it for what he said about my teammate and for what he does to his wife behind closed doors. I don't stand for abuse of any kind-ttebane!" I punched my palm with my fist to accentuate my passion for my statement.

I have power now. I will _never_ stand for abuse again. That son of a cheap hooker is lucky I didn't kill him on the spot and the only reason I didn't is because I wasn't sure if he was a civilian or not.

"For what it's worth, I respect your conviction, however, I'm going to assume that you already know that your actions were tactless."

Yeah… but maybe I wasn't _that_ tactless… I mean, the whole Uchiha situation improved, even if it's just a little bit, right?

"I know. I let my anger get the best of me… If I was calmer, I could have gotten him back another way." I sighed and ran my fingers through my silky hair.

Fugaku chuckled.

"You never would have let it go, huh?"

"Would you have?" I countered and he shook his head.

"Absolutely not, but unfortunately the details have been blown out of proportion. The general public won't accept assault on 'a defenseless civilian,' especially not if the assailant is you… for nine-tailed reasons, of course. It isn't looking good, but between you and me, I believe hokage-sama is ready to bear his teeth and claws on your behalf."

I smiled warmly. Jiji has become family over the last few years. I love him dearly and it seems like he loves me too.

"I would do the same for him."

Fugaku smiled, sighed and then began weaving signs. I counted thirty-seven of them before he finally grabbed his wrist with his hand, opened his palm and placed it against the bars. The bars opened on their own, as if they were being handled by invisible assistants, and the seals inside the cell began to glow. I didn't bother to move or waste energy on being startled or afraid; I knew exactly what they were for.

A glowing, red circle formed around me and chains shot out of the symbols etched into it. They paralyzed me as they touched my skin, as cold as any real, metal chains despite being made of light and chakra.

"I'm sorry. I would not treat you this way under any other circumstances. I hope you can understand." He explained with a grim expression. It was more than clear that he was hating his job now, and you gotta give the guy credit for doing it anyway.

"I get it."

He walked into the cell and wove more hand signs, all of which I knew. I was fully aware of what he would do next.

With my knowledge of fuuinjutsu, I could easily alter what's left of the flow of my chakra and unlock the circle of seals beneath me if I wanted to. I could have escaped this cell from the get-go if I really tried, I just didn't because it would be rude, and it wouldn't get me anywhere in the long-run.

He touched both of my wrists and ankles, turning the chains that bound me to the floor into shackles, draining all of the power and light from the circle and fusing it into my restraints. When he was done my wrists felt heavy; I couldn't pick them up. It's as if there was an iron weight hanging from my limbs.

He hauled me to my feet by my underarms— which put a huge strain on my joints no thanks to the goddamned weight of the shackles— and led me out of the cell. I didn't complain and he didn't speak.

Aside from the shackles, he was going a good job of not making me feel like a prisoner. I heard that in jail, they go out of their way to make you feel like a criminal. I'm glad Fugaku isn't making an effort to be an asshole; not that he would anyway, but still. He's not taking an opportunity that he has.

"You're only being transferred right now, so unfortunately you'll still have to stay here for the night. It's the minimum holding time we could give you for assault. You have a hearing at the hokage tower tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

We walked on an incline similar to the ones you could find in front of super-official buildings that have wheelchair access, except we kept turning left around corners and there seemed to be no end in sight.

…Seriously, that's not a joke. I looked up at one point and maybe it was because there was a lack of legit electricity here and the torches on the walls weren't bright enough, but "up" was just a vast, dark space. No ceiling, just the repeating underside of the flat staircase we were walking on and blackness.

I didn't look up again.

"I know you could probably break out of all that, by the way. I appreciate your cooperation." He smirked.

"Hah! I appreciate the complement." I replied and we fell into silence again.

Eventually, we came upon a huge, metal door. He knocked on the door three times and if you've ever slammed your fist on the trunk of someone's car you'll find that the two sounds are quite familiar.

The guard from before swung open the door with a metallic creak, looking as stressed-out as I used to be over papers, deadlines and homework… plus work and all the other bullshit in between.

He bowed his head out of respect for his superior and stepped aside for us. Fugaku pushed me through the door with just a little bit of force— a show of course; 'wouldn't want anyone thinking that I was getting special treatment, right?

The guard was silent as we left him behind and walked down a hallway at the end of the plain, too-bright room. We came upon a barred gate and with just a touch of his palm, it slid open as quietly as you would expect from alien technology. The bars slid shut behind us as we continued down the hall and when we turned the corner we were in another hallway, filled with cells lining both walls. They were spaced out so that each cell was facing a slab of wall across from it. The foul scent of beer, piss, and blood intensified the further we walked down the hall and I observed people—all men at this point— laying on cots, or passing out with their faces against the tiny toilet they each had in the corner of their cell. A lot of them were fucked up, like physically— bruises and busted lips and such. Some men were crying. One in particular was bawling about his wife cheating on him, the poor fuck.

We stopped at a cell at the far end of the hallway, where the sounds of the other prisoners were slightly muffled. Again, with just a touch, I was placed in my cell, which had that tiny toilet I was describing earlier, and a tiny sink next to it to match. On the other side of the tiny prison was a shoddy bed, bolted to the cinderblock wall. It wasn't pretty, but I was soon unchained and had the freedom to sleep or piss.

Joy. Not gonna lie, I contemplated just breaking out for the night and then slipping back in in the morning, but there was no way that would fly if I got caught.

"I'll be back bright and early. Get as much sleep as you can." With that and a final goodnight, Fugaku left, probably to go home, but hopefully to have a drink because he looked like he needed one.

The toilet was the first amenity I used. I had to pee like a mother, and I held it this entire time just 'cause there was no way in hell I was using the toilet down in the abyss. Nope. That one had nothing for you to flush with, and I wasn't about to let my pee just sit there with me in the same room. Nope.

Exhausted, I laid down on the bed beneath the blanket and after a few annoying thoughts I fell asleep rather quickly, only to be interrupted at God-knows-what-hour to Shisui's sunny presence. I squinted to make sure it was really him I was seeing, and then yawned.

"What time is it?"

"It's only been an hour."

I blinked.

"An hour since when exactly?"

"Since you were transferred here."

"You were watching?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"Something like that."

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, but he shook his head.

"Don't worry about it." He smiled. Fine, I won't pry.

"How did you get past your best friend out there?" I asked instead.

Shisui snickered.

"He's just taking a nap he won't remember when he wakes up." He shrugged "innocently."

I smirked along with him. 'Figures Shisui would do something like that.

"What's this visit for? I thought I told you to not drop in. You could get into a lot of trouble, you know."

He shrugged again.

"I just wanted to see you; that's all. I'm glad you're alright; not like you wouldn't be in Fugaku-jii's care, but still. It _is_ a prison and all…"

I shook my head. "Other than the crying guys down the hall it's just restricting, that's all. Even so, it's not like I can't break out. Everything is opened and closed with fuuinjutsu. Once you figure out how the chakra is supposed to flow, and at what frequency, it's child's play." I shrugged.

Shisui laughed.

"Yeah, you _would_ be the one to be able to escape this place. Anyway, here." He passed me a scroll through the bars. "You must be hungry, so I went out and picked up some ramen from the place that's open late." He explained. I was really touched that he obviously cares a lot. 'Enough to think about my bottomless stomach despite the situation, at least.

"Thanks, Shisui; I really do appreciate it." I smiled as I looked up from the scroll at his face.

He blushed and then shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Anyway, I'll see you later, alright? I kind of have an errand to run tonight."

I glared at him. Severely. He's fucking twelve and he has bags growing under his eyes! What's he doing "running errands" this late!? Isn't it like midnight by now?

"You better sleep tonight, Shisui. Don't think you're safe just 'cause I'm obligated to stay behind these bars for the night."

He laughed and then stuck his tongue out.

"You-can't-get-me~." He sang, and then blew a raspberry laughing at my predicament. I growled and reached through the bars to grab his tongue for his cheeky attitude, but he pulled his head back and my fingers grabbed air instead. I grumped an annoyed sigh and crossed my arms.

"Trust me, I'll be back by morning and I have the day off so don't worry _mom_ I'll get plenty of sleep in." He rolled his eyes, but it was obviously for fun. I rolled mine back, exaggerating my irritation with him. He really needs to chill on the all-nighter bullshit on his time off, seriously.

"Alright then, if you say so."

"Sleep well." And with a wave and a mischievous smile he was off. I watched his chakra dart through the village, just 'cause I was bored and needed something to do while I unsealed and ate the ramen on the floor…which was _heavenly_ , by the way.

I watched him run all the way to the village gate, and then climb up and over it. He ran so quickly through the trees beyond that it was hard to track him. For a second I had to really sit and concentrate. He ran further and further until _finally_ he disappeared beyond my sensory range.

Whatever his "errand" was, it was located far away and he had roughly twenty-four hours to return before he was officially labeled as a defector— I really doubt he was able to ask Hiruzen for permission to legally leave at this hour with all the crap that I started going on.

Be safe, Shisui. I'll be pissed if you cause trouble for yourself…

* * *

Hiruzen sighed, idly noting that he was starting to feel his age. His favorite, but nomadic student sat on the windowsill just outside his office, one leg hanging in the room, the other wedged against the frame and shaking repeatedly in restlessness and irritation. His arms were crossed and he looked anything but happy.

"I don't want to." He pouted. Hiruzen sighed again and took a huge hit of his pipe, letting the smoke out of his lungs before he spoke.

"This is the best option, Jiraiya."

"I knew I shouldn't have come back here. You know, my gut was telling me not to come or else I'd regret it, but I thought, 'it would be rude to not see Hiruzen-sensei, so why not; what's the worst that can happen?' Well, this is _beyond_ the worst. This wasn't in the mission you gave me either! Why do _I_ have to be a baby sitter?" He whined, and glared at the rooftops outside the tower.

Hiruzen rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb.

"Because I am old, and I do not want this stress on my heart. You know it makes sense to do it this way, anyway. Laziness is not a good enough excuse if you are fully capable of carrying out this task. Mind you, you are still a shinobi of Konoha under _my_ orders and I am _officially_ adding this onto your main mission."

"Tch. 'Pulling rank on me. You know I was gonna do it anyway…" Jiraiya turned his head towards him, and grinned. "Besides, the ladies love the single-father type anyway."

Hiruzen chuckled and nodded his agreement, puffing on his pipe once again.

"They all do, deep down. So you'll accept?"

"Officially, yes. You say she learns quickly, right?" He raised a white brow and Hiruzen nodded. His granddaughter absorbed information and skills like a sponge. It only ever took her a few tries to perform a technique properly. After that, with a week of practice she would master it.

"How fast?"

Hiruzen smirked. Every one of his students had an obsession with gathering information on one thing or another.

"That is for you to see, not hear."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Have you heard from Tsunade at all? I can't ever find her."

Hiruzen chuckled. His student loved to chase women, but he knew that the only woman who had his heart was the blonde medic he grew up with.

* * *

The next morning, at dawn before the streets of Konoha got busy, I was transferred to Jiji's office and once I stepped inside, the restraints came off and my temporary detainment was officially over.

I expected an actual hearing; like, one with judges and Yusui's bastard father screaming obscenities and villainizing me and everything, but that's not what happened. I was here, literally to hear my punishment and that's it. I guess they didn't need a trial to find out what happened since the police officers and Dumbo-Danzo were there to witness the whole thing.

Upon entering the office, I was awarded my headband, arm guards and the patch of cloth decorated with a seal that the cops ripped off of my pants. The seals that repressed my chakra were finally removed and I felt normal again as I tied my headband across my forehead.

"I'm disappointed in you."

I cringed. That stabbed me more than his fury ever could.

"I'm really sorry." I looked down at my feet because I felt awful. I didn't think about him when I acted, did I? In situations like this, you very suddenly realize exactly how stupid and yes, _tactless_ , your actions were. Fugaku was so right…

This sucks.

Hiruzen released a huge sigh. Maybe my apology set him free, or maybe reminding him that I'm not as bad as the public is making me seem makes him feel better. Either way, I was glad to see a huge weight lift off of his shoulders.

"We will tell the civilian public that you are being sent away on a very important community service mission to the capitol as punishment."

…

"And what will you tell me?" I asked. There's more to this, obviously.

"You're going to leave the village for a while."

Dread settled in my stomach. What about Danzo? What about advancing rank? What about the Uchiha situation? What about _Naruto_!?

He must have seen my thoughts all over my face because he held his hand up before I could even think to take a breath to protest.

"Naruto will be in Uchiha Mikoto's care while you are away."

That relaxed me, _a lot_. Okay. That's good news. My little brother will be with people I trust. Mikoto would probably skewer someone for even _thinking_ about hurting Naruto, so he'd be safe. Besides, with any luck, the Uchiha matriarch caring for an Uzumaki kid would further build the Uchiha's reputation up. You rock, Jiji!

"You will be chaperoned by a trusted Konoha citizen, which should ease the village's qualms with you. The statement we are releasing today mentions that you will be gone for a year. This was the only thing that settled Shimura Moroyu, and the public." He explained. I just looked at him while I went over the information. "You will return just in time to take the chunin exams. You will _not_ be held back over a small misdemeanor that most agree has been blown out of proportion."

"Okay… when do I leave?" I was eager for more information.

"Immediately tomorrow morning. I suggest you say your goodbyes today. I also suggest that you personally thank many of the clan heads who helped me convince the council that what you did was more valiant than villainous." He gave me a pointed look and I gulped. If I was any less trained, I would have reached up to wipe the sweat off of my temple. I had thought about what Danzo would do in reaction to my misdemeanor. Surely, he would look for ways to either crucify me, or convince others that _he_ should be the one to "tame" me or something like that. It was thanks to those annual clan meetings on my birthday that I was spared with having to deal with him.

I shuddered. If you really think about it, I could have gotten fucked _really_ hard, because at the end of the day, a clan head defends his clan, right? I could have gotten a really bad punishment if things had played out differently.

Thank you Inoichi, Fugaku, Shikaku, Hiashi and co. You're all the real MVP.

"I understand, jii-chan…" I would have a lot of goodbyes to make today… Jiji sighed and rubbed his forehead, as if the battle was finally over.

"Between you and I, that man is a lush with no regard for others, even his family. As a man, I can understand your passion to correct his evils and I believe you do deserve some sort of favor for that. The person you will be traveling with is very experienced and I believe you will learn much on your trip. I made sure that it wouldn't be a waste of your time. Inoichi-san in particular was adamant that the council not let you stagnate."

Now _that's_ interesting. So I'm going to be getting stronger on this trip, too, huh? I need to get Inoichi some groceries or something. There's no way a simple "thank you" will suffice for that. The man stood in front of Danzo and argued on my behalf… I wonder if he was there by himself when he did that.

"Always follow your heart, Yuzu-chan. It will never lead you astray."

I grinned brightly and then ran around his huge desk. He was already prepared for my bear hug, and held his arms out wide. We squeezed each other tight. He wasn't letting go as quickly as he usually did, so I just let him hold me for a while. I felt his sadness and worry build until _I_ almost felt like crying.

"Be careful, will you?" He asked. The rest of his words were unspoken, but definitely tangible in his chakra: _I can't bear to lose you too._

"Don't worry jii-chan, I'll come back ten times stronger and then you'll really have a challenge fighting me-ttebane!" It's a promise, old man. He squeezed me once more and then held me at arm's length. He had tears collecting in his eyes, but he nodded and smiled. It would be the last day I'd see him for a while.

* * *

In the end, even though I pestered Hiruzen with all my might until he kicked me out of his office, he never told me who I'd be going on the trip with; just that I was to meet the person bum-fuck early at the gate tomorrow and I'd get the rest. After that, I made a clone henge into a blue-eyed blonde and sent her out to buy flowers for the people who stood up for me. I bought Inoichi a whole box full of vegetables, meat and sweets to feed his family, too. I visited each clan compound and got hugs and praise and all the warm, fuzzy stuff I wasn't expecting to get. I had a few conversations, some shogi games, and at about ten, I finished my rounds and knocked on Yusuke's door.

A man who looked to be in his forties greeted me on the other side. He had striking green eyes and brown hair and some tastefully styled scruff growing on his jaw and chin. He wore a typical jounin outfit and grinned at me from ear-to-ear. This is _definitely_ Yusuke's dad. They look so similar!

"Are you _the_ Uzumaki Yuzuha I've been hearing all about these last few years?" He asked.

I kind of just blinked up at him. What? Yusuke talked about me that much?

"Um… yeah." I replied and then stuck my hand out. He shook it once and let it drop.

"Come in! Maybe you can explain why you've been avoiding coming over for so long!"

Damn. He's _really_ good at guilt-tripping, isn't he?

Two can play at this game…

I frowned and looked down, placing a hand on my stomach, _right. Above. Minato's. Seal_.

"Well… with the way I'm treated… and Yusuke is well-liked in the village…and, well… I didn't wanna ruin it for him, y'know…I…I'm sorry…ttebane…" I looked to the side and bit my lip, as if to keep myself from crying.

"Jeez, I was only joking… I'm sorry, kid."

Hah. Sucker. I looked up at him with a nervous frown and I saw him rubbing the back of his head with an awkward expression on his face. He wasn't expecting to be served his own medicine, I guess.

"R-really?" I asked, and blinked with wide, hopeful eyes.

I know guys, this is overkill, but can you blame me?

"Yeah, just stop it with the eyes, will you?" I smiled as if my whole world improved just because he proved that he didn't hate me.

"Okay!" I nodded. "I came here to say bye, because—

"I _know_." He grinned mischievously. "Most of the shinobi in the village heard the _actual_ story from the Uchiha." He placed a hand on my shoulder and winked in approval. "For what it's worth, you have my support!"

" _Daaaaaad_!" I heard Yusuke calling from the second floor and with that, the man ushered me into his house, shutting the door behind us. I removed my sandals in the genkan and stepped onto the shiny wooden floor of the living room. "How come you didn't wake me up! Today is Yuzu's hearing!" He sounded annoyed and I heard thumping, which sounded like he was hopping on one foot for some reason… probably to get his pants on.

Yusuke's dad snickered before he turned back to face me.

"Oh! I never introduced myself!" He bowed to me, even though we already shook hands. "Sarutobi Torue. You can call me whatever you like." He grinned and straightened up, just as Yusuke pounded down a staircase situated in the corner of the living room. He was sliding his zippered jacket on hastily and running his fingers through his hair with his other hand, making quick work of the stairs below him.

"Uuuuugh! I'm so annoyed! What if they threw her back into jail! What if they—

He was just turning the corner at the bottom landing when he looked up from fiddling with his jacket sleeve and froze at the sight of me and his dad, just looking at him.

" _Yuzu_!" He cheered.

His jacket was still only halfway on when he sped over to me and grabbed my shoulders, looking me over, and then smiling when he saw that I was alright.

"You're okay!" Then his eyes narrowed when he let go of my shoulders, done with his quick examination. "What's the punishment?"

His usually happy face turned so serious in just a second.

I shook my head.

"I'm going away for a year to do 'community service'." I rolled my eyes and his nose scrunched as his eyes simultaneously widened in horror and disgust.

"Like cleaning the sewage systems!?" He practically shrieked and threw his hands into his hair, his half-donned jacket fluttering on his arm beside him.

I shook my head.

"No no _no_. Ew. I'd go rogue before I'd ever agree to _that_. I'm just going away for a bit. Apparently, I'll be training with someone the entire time, so I'll be back for the chunin exams. Just make sure you take them with the rest of the class and I'll probably be teamed up with you." I grinned and so did he.

"That's _awesome_! _See_!" He whirled on his father with a triumphant smirk and extended index finger. "I _told_ you they wouldn't punish her." I guess his father hadn't told him yet, but Yusuke wasn't quite finished with his excitement. "Yusui's dad _deserved_ it and even the council knows! Hah, when everyone finds ou—

I smashed my hand against his mouth, and he grunted in surprise, smacking it away seconds later.

"What was _that_ for?" He asked, totally confused.

"You realize that _no one_ below jounin-level is supposed to know what I'm really going to be doing, right?"

He gave me a blank stare and blinked for a few seconds before he rubbed the back of his neck with a deep, pink blush on his cheeks.

"Oh. Oops. I just got excited, sorry." Then he frowned. "The villagers are talking a lot of crap, and it just sucks that they won't know any better…"

I shook my head.

"They can think whatever they want. It doesn't matter in the end, does it?"

"I guess not. So how long will you be gone for?"

"A year, apparently. I guess I have a lot to learn from this person, huh?"

" _What!?_ A whole _year_!?" His face fell so far I swear, any further and it would have physically sagged.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my decision." I explained with a frown. "I came here t say goodbye."

He glared.

"This is crap." And then, he summoned parchment and a brush from one of his arm warmers. "We're going to have a huge dinner tonight. Just for you."

"…We?"

"Yeah, we. Just don't worry about it. Don't say any official goodbyes yet." He ordered and then turned around to walk to the modern coffee table. He bent over and started scribbling on the paper.

"I'm going to take care of this, Red. Just go visit some people or relax. Meet me back here at seven."

I blinked at him. Yusuke was a good kid; always sweet and jovial, but he was not organized by any means. To actually see him put _this much_ effort into putting something together for once… is unprecedented!

His dad seemed just as surprised as I am.

"…Okay…I'll see you later, then…"

He silently waved behind his back. There was no distracting him now. It's not like he usually had ADD or anything, it was just that I never saw him this focused outside of training or missions. It was surprising.

His dad and I looked at each other and the adult walked me to the door and watched me put on my shoes.

"He's pretty serious, huh?" I murmured.

Torue nodded with a wide grin.

"When my son sets his mind to something there's very little that can stop him."

I nodded.

"You should see him outside the village, then. Trust me, you'd be even more proud." I complemented. Yusuke was a _beast_ on missions. Give him a goal and he will go to any length to achieve it.

Torue grinned and nodded.

"I'm happy he's been a good teammate to you."

"He's been a _great_ teammate." I accentuated. And I really meant it. Yusuke's my ride or die.

"Take care of yourself, Uzumaki Yuzuha. I expect to see you back in one piece."

He said it light-heartedly but it was clear that he actually meant what he said, so I nodded back and let myself out.

After that, I went to the Uchiha district, which had been a second home to me since I got here. I ran at top speed, because I knew that Naruto was there, probably waiting for me to come by…probably waiting for answers, too.

Believe it or not I _did_ miss him. And Sasuke, too. I hate kids, but they're the exceptions, of course.

As soon as I got to the Uchiha household and walked up to the door I was nearly run over by Sasuke, who somehow managed to reach high enough to grab the knob and run out.

"Nii-san you're mean!" He cried behind him before he smashed into my legs and fell back on his butt.

"Sasukeee! Wait!" Naruto's voice called after him from afar and the little successive footsteps told me he was hot on Sasuke's trail, just like in canon.

Sasuke sniffled as he looked up at me. His round, dark eyes widened.

"Yuzu-nee-san!" He sprang up like a pro and hugged my legs, burying his face in them.

"Nee-chan!" Naruto called before he even reached the door. When he did, he too threw himself at me and I was in a loving group-hug with the only children I could ever love. I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around them tightly. They smelled like shampoo and sandalwood, which meant they must have bathed recently. Everyone give Mikoto a round of applause, please.

"Ew nee-chan. You smell like sweat." Naruto whined. I groaned because I didn't have a chance to shower since my night in prison and he was being harsh.

"Okay, I guess I'll be leaving, then." I snipped back.

"No!" Sasuke yelled and squeezed me tighter.

"What's wrong?" I asked and pulled both boys away at arm's length. Naruto looked troubled and Sasuke was _pissed_.

"Well—

My blonde brother tried to explain, but Sasuke ran him over.

"I _hate_ Izumi-nee!"

…Well… he's starting even younger with the hate thing this time around, isn't he?

Sasuke's pout was on-point and he crossed his little arms across his chest. I tilted my head to the side, because I was confused. I mean, I know he always cried when she held him when he was still itty-bitty, but I didn't know it was this serious.

"Explain what happened. I'm listening."

And where the hell is Mikoto to deal with this, anyway?

He frowned up at me, but dropped his arms and blushed.

"I don't want to be Izumi-nee-san's little brother!" He cried.

Wait.

Say what?

"Huh?"

He balled his fists and got angry, but Naruto cut in.

"I think Izu-nee called you that by accident." Naruto grumbled and then crossed his arms.

"Itachi-nii didn't say anything about it! He was _right there_! "

Oooooh okay. She accidentally called him "otouto." I get it now. I chuckled.

"I call you my little brother all the time, Sasu-chan." I poked his cheek until his entire head was forced to turn. He swatted at my finger but I dodged the sloppy attack and pulled my hand back. His little cheeks flushed.

"It's different when you say it…" He grumbled.

"Sasuke…" Aaaaaaand cue Itachi. I smiled up at him as he stood in the doorway with a pained expression on his face. He definitely screwed up somewhere for Sasuke to be upset with him.

"No! You didn't tell her 'no' when she said that!" The little Uchiha glared at him mercilessly, and then turned back to face me.

"Your outburst just surprised me, that's all. It was an accident." Itachi tried to explain. He sounded calm on the surface, but I can tell just by that little inflection in his voice that he was getting annoyed.

"See, told ya…" Naruto mumbled. Then, he pulled Sasuke close and whispered something into his ear that Itachi and I weren't privy to.

Sasuke snorted and then both he and Naruto laughed. I could clearly see the look of relief on Itachi's face—leave it to Naruto to crack him up. A pair of footsteps joined our little group and Izumi popped her head in through the doorway, expression just as frantic as it was apologetic.

"Sasuke-kun! I'm so sorry. You just… you just reminded me of _my_ little brother! That's all! I swear! I didn't mean anything by— oh! Yuzuha-san!" She grinned at me and waved. I smiled back, but Sasuke whirled on the girl, round eyes almost as menacing as they were in canon when he tended to lose his shit a lot.

… I guess some things won't change this time around. Before he could take a breath to say anything, I crashed the palm of my hand into his hair and mussed it until the little duck's ass at the back of his head blended in with everything else.

"Y-Yuzu- _nee_! _Stop_!"

Naruto started to point and laugh and Izumi joined him as Itachi watched us all patiently.

"Hey listen up, all of you. Yusuke's planning a dinner or something tonight, so you're probably all going to hear from him at some point today."

"A…dinner?" Izumi blinked and grabbed her long ponytail, something I noticed she tended to do a lot when she was excited to hear more information.

"For what?" Itachi asked.

"Are we gonna eat ramen!?" Naruto asked excitedly. I really should never have taken him to Ichiraku that one night…

Sasuke busied himself by fixing his hair while I stood to my full height from my crouched position and began to explain.

"I can't really say anything out here, but we're having a going-away dinner for me."

"Come inside." Itachi commanded, alarmed that I was leaving. He did _not_ like that news. We all stepped inside and went into the empty kitchen barefoot, and then sat on the bar stools off to the side. Naruto crawled into my lap, and Sasuke demanded to sit with Itachi, while Izumi took a seat in between us all.

"So what's going on? You're leaving? Why?" She fired off quickly. We weren't exactly super-close but we had become acquaintances and I could tell that she too was upset.

"Well, okay this has to stay between us. I'm only saying this because I know you two can be trusted… and you two, too." I looked to the boys. They looked at me so seriously you would think they were already genin. "Hokage-sama is telling the general public that I'm being sent away to do community service in the capitol for three years as punishment for my 'crime'." I explained. Izumi took a huge breath to speak, but I was prepared and held up my hand before anyone could interrupt me. " _But_ I'm actually going to be away, training instead. I'll be able to come back for the chunin exams. So you'll all see me before long." I finished.

There was silence.

And then there was unholy wailing and screeching as Naruto exploded into a fit of tears and despair.

"NoooooO!" He shouted into my shirt. "You're _lying_!"

"It's not true!" Sasuke argued, stubborn and logical as he was in canon. "It's _not_ true. Isn't it, Nii-san! _Isn't it_!?" He fisted his brother's shirt and tried to shake him to prove a point. He wasn't about to give up just yet, but that was only because his sensory skills were lacking compared to Naruto's natural ability; the blonde knew that there were no lies in my words and he continued to sob and cling to me.

I patted his back and gave Sasuke an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I'm going to have to go. I hit a bad guy, but because he wasn't a shinobi I have to pay the price." I explained. I don't know if Fugaku and Mikoto told them what happened.

Itachi looked pleading as Sasuke's pretty, dark eyes watered.

Oh shit. You know, Naruto's pretty expressive, so it's normal for him to cry, but Sasuke… Sasuke stopped wailing over the smallest things like a year ago.

But man, when he _does_ wail… he can _wail_. His little three-year-old lungs can outlast a professional opera singer.

"But hold on!" I tried to capture his attention before he could get completely upset. "I'll come back so much stronger! And you can both surprise me because you'll be a whole year older and I'm _sure_ Itachi, Shisui, Izumi, _and_ Utau can teach you guys lots of things by then, _right_?" I glared at Itachi, surprising him.

There's no way you're going to pull that "ignore Sasuke" shit this time around, Itachi. Now hurry up and agree so the kid doesn't cry!

I guess he read my mind, because he nodded and went along with my story.

"Of course." He agreed. "We can all teach you both lots of things."

It was then that I noticed that Naruto had gone silent.

"Utau-nee can't teach us much, though…" He trailed off, genuinely trying to come up with something he'd want to learn from her with one finger on his bottom lip.

I snickered, but Izumi jumped in to defend her "friend's" honor. She was still oblivious as to how much Utau disliked her.

"She can teach you _lots_ of techniques, actually! She's _very_ good at dodging. Have you ever seen her train with your sister?" She asked him. He blinked, but shook his head in response. Izumi was proud of herself and smiled. "See. Everyone can teach you at least _one_ thing."

Sasuke contemplated the new information before he gave me the saddest expression, like, ever.

"But…" And he blushed oh-so-adorably, "…I'm gonna miss you…" He mumbled and looked down as he bashfully kicked what he could of the barstool with the back of his heel. He couldn't exactly kick much, because he was short and Itachi was in his way, but he managed to make some noise.

"I'm gonna miss you more!" Naruto challenged and clung to my arm, sticking his tongue out at Sasuke. "You're _my_ nee-chan anyway!"

Oh that pissed the mini-Uchiha _off_. And as if someone had dropped a scarf or signaled the beginning of a race or a battle, both boys dove off of the chairs and Sasuke took to chasing after Naruto through the house and out into the backyard.

"I'll get you for that!"

"Not if I reach the safety tree!"

"Their feet are going to get all dirty…" Izumi frowned with crossed arms. I shrugged.

"As long as they're not crying their eyes out, I'm not complaining."

We had snacks until Shisui and Utau dropped by an hour or so later. When they arrived I explained what was going to happen to me and Utau, always a fan of dramatics, hugged me and cried.

"What kind of crap is that!? Who's going to help me sing better?! Who's going to get waxed with me?! Who's going to be my best friend, huh!?" She wailed while hugging and shaking me at the same time.

Shisui looked… blah. I _hate_ it when he gets depressed. Eventually, Itachi brought out a shogi board to lighten the mood and a little while after that, Utau and Izumi took Naruto and Sasuke for a walk to Sanno's house to see if he was there. I wanted to say goodbye to him, too, but when they returned without him we all assumed he was on a mission. Once Itachi and I got into a game, though, an hour passed and everyone got bored. Shisui wasn't awake to entertain anyone, and Naruto had finally had enough. He and Sasuke could only wrestle for so long.

"Let's play a game, Shisui-nii-chan!" Naruto tugged at his sleeve and the older Uchiha yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Alright…" After stretching and sitting up, he grinned. "Yeah, let's do that! Hmmm… hang on. I have a card game we can all play." He looked to Sasuke, Izumi, and Utau with a smile and the other three Uchiha grinned in relief. It wasn't long before all of us were so absorbed into our activities that we didn't notice Fugaku and Mikoto sneaking up on all of us in the family room.

Fugaku already told Mikoto what was going to happen and the woman fell to her knees in front of me and pulled me into a hug as soon as she saw me. I don't think my own mother ever held me so tightly. Ever. Of course, after that, it was game over. I was whisked away to take a bath, get my hair cut, take another bath, seal up all these clothes she bought me into a scroll that she packed for me herself, etc.

She was brushing my short, chin-length locks while I sat in front of a vanity in the guest room that had somehow turned into my changing room over the years. It was an hour or so before we were supposed to meet up at the barbeque spot in the Uchiha district for dinner. It was a kids-only thing, so it would mostly be my group of Uchiha, plus Yusuke.

"What am I going to do without you, Yuzuha-chan?" Mikoto mumbled and exhaled. "There isn't going to be another girl to spend time with in this house for so long…"

"I'm sorry…" I apologized. "Don't Izumi-chan and Utau count, though?"

"It's not the same." She replied and I caught her guilty expression in the mirror. "But that stays between me and you, okay!" She was blushing, and before long we both laughed at her little slip-up.

I guess I'm the favorite, huh? I can't say I disapprove. She's so awesome, and pretty, and organized, and responsible and put-together, and kind. It's impossible to _not_ want to be favorited by someone like that.

After that, we exchanged goodbyes at the door to the Uchiha residence. Naruto and Sasuke went with us to the dinner, because Naruto wanted to spend every last second he could with me. There were more goodbyes to exchange at the dinner, because now, they were official. My friends wouldn't get to see me beyond tonight for whole year.

I don't want to get into details, because I _hate_ emotionally charged situations, so let's just say the whole event was enough to move me. I didn't think I was so cared-for. Utau even wrote me a song! She sang it and the entire restaurant erupted into applause. Our group became a spectacle that night, but it wasn't all good cheer. Some people from the village dared to sneer at me and talk shit, but one look from Yusuke shut them up really quick. He was like my guardian angel: always by my side and always looking to defend me when necessary. It was really sweet of him. He was making damn sure that no one ruined it for me.

Eventually, it got late and Itachi and Shisui promised me they'd take the boys home. I thought I would _never_ get either of them out of my arms. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself, nee-chan!" Naruto couldn't stop worrying. Sasuke chided him for questioning my strength in the first place, and made me promise to train with him when I got back. With that, the group that had become my _family_ left, dragging a miserable Utau behind them. Her hug had been one of the warmest I'd received that night.

I thought I would be alone with my thoughts on the trip back to my apartment, but I was wrong. I smiled as Mira-sensei appeared next to me, as if she had been keeping pace with me in the quiet street the entire time.

"I'm proud to be your sensei." She opened up. I laughed.

"You have no idea how much stronger you made me. I'm proud to be your student." I complemented.

"You're going to love your new sensei, though. Trust me."

"Eh? How do you know who he is? Jiji wanted to keep it super-secret." Now I was curious.

"Well, I'm good at digging around." She shrugged and I laughed as I looked up at her. She was in her jounin outfit and the hair she usually kept braided fell over one side of her head, disguising one of the shaved sides.

"I'm going to miss your training routine, y'know…" I admitted.

"Just keep practicing with those fans. Remember, _be vicious_. If any jackass decides to get into your space, don't be afraid to take his nose off."

I shuddered, remembering the nose I _did_ once take off. If only she knew what happened that day I lost control. Bless Yusuke for keeping his mouth shut. Who the hell knows what kind of shit I'd be in if he decided to write what happened in his report.

"Got it."

She stopped in the street and I automatically stopped right next to her, turning to face her. With crossed arms she looked at me with a conflicted expression. I just stared back, waiting for her to speak, because I knew she would. Eventually she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I don't usually do this, but…" She threw her arms around me. "… How could I ever just let my favorite student go without some affection, huh?"

She squeezed me tight and I squeezed her back.

"You'll be safe out there, but promise me that you'll send any enemies that come your way right back to hell where they belong."

I chuckled.

"Of course I will, Mira-sensei. Remember, I learned from the best."

She held me out at arm's length and I winked at her. She laughed and straightened up to her full height.

"You're damn right! Now go kick some ass! Make me proud. And I expect you to come back taller and with stories to tell."

I gave her a thumbs up. With a last nod, she vanished and I walked the rest of the way to my apartment. By the time I got there, Itachi was already waiting for me inside, lounging at my kitchen table the same way he did right before his fight with Sasuke in canon. I shuddered every time I saw him sit that way; it brought back memories of his death and I _hated_ the mere thought of that.

After my door was shut and my shoes were off, I flicked on the rest of the lights and joined him. I was exhausted after all of the touchy-feelyness and practically slammed my temple against the wood of the table when I was finally seated.

"I hate goodbyes." I groaned. "And I don't want to say goodbye to you." I really didn't. Itachi had become something else over the years. He meant a lot to me. It's hard to describe, but imagine having someone right beside you, supporting you and challenging you to better yourself almost every day. Imagine being on the same page with someone, to the point where you know what they're going to say next without even needing to look at them. Granted, I didn't need to look at anyone to know what their feelings were, but still, humor me here. Maybe it's not imaginable, but that's the only way I could describe him. He's special.

"You don't have to." He replied in his typical quiet manner.

My head shot up off the table so fast my neck actually cracked. He probably heard it, too.

"You're coming _with_ me!?" I unnecessarily yelled. He was only a couple of feet away and there was no need to alert my neighbors to our conversation, but fuck it.

His expression twisted into something between apologetic and confused.

"No." He responded. I groaned, and then growled as I lowered my head back onto the table.

"Don't get me worked up like that." I mumbled into the table. I knew he heard me anyway, because he laughed.

"I have a method of communication we can utilize to write to each other. Your letters will reach me faster than the others." He explained. "You can reach Shisui this way, too."

What does that mean?

I waved my hand above the table to signal him to continue, still too tired to properly sit up.

"Last night, Shisui retrieved the summoning scroll for crows." He tossed me a tiny, super-thin scroll. I caught it without looking, confused.

"So wait, _I_ get to summon crows, too? Are they even okay with three people annoying them all the time?" That's when I sat up and pushed my chair in to examine what he gave me.

He shook his head.

"It took some convincing, but they accepted us. Fortunately, they also agreed to reverse-summon letters back and forth. The head crow of the murder used to be contracted with an Uzumaki woman; I believe your clan name is the only reason he agreed to let the young ones travel back and forth between us."

"Oh…" I looked down at the scroll and unraveled it. The seal was complicated, but following the designs, I could see its purpose. In one configuration, chakra would be absorbed, eating chakra from an opposite seal that probably looked identical to it save one or two small bits of pattern to fit the necessary function. The configuration on the outside of that one was designed to push chakra through, which I'm assuming would be received by a seal on a separate scroll, that _again_ was directly opposite of the one I was looking at now. He tossed another scroll at me as I studied what was on the paper. I caught it without even needing to look.

Once I was done examining my scroll, I glanced at the seals on his scroll. It was just as I expected. The seals on his scroll were the exact same, but one or two characters on each, whole design were altered making their function the opposite of what was on my scroll, making sending and receiving stuff a possibility.

It's like fucking instant messaging but with chakra. Epic.

Grinning, I tossed his scroll back at him.

"That's really cool."

"Activate the seal on the end of the dowel." He instructed, and indeed, there was a tiny storage seal at the tip of the scroll. When I activated it, another scroll popped out. However, this one had black wooden dowels.

"That one is Shisui's." He explained.

"Great. Thank you for this, Itachi." I sealed up Shisui's scroll within Itachi's and subconsciously held the communication device close to my chest; it was probably one of the most important things I would carry on my journey. He nodded at me.

"If you're not in the time or place to receive letters, just coat the paper in chakra. It will block the seals until it is safe to receive and send things. Also, try to limit letters to once a month. They were adamant about not being 'carrier pigeons.'" He finished his sentence with a smirk, remembering something I hadn't been around to see.

"Got it. That's totally reasonable."

We fell into silence, me looking at my scroll and him just closing his eyes and resting his hands back on his stomach. Again, I wish he wouldn't sit that way, but who am I to dictate what he does, right?

"I know you'll look after Naruto, but I know you know it makes me feel better to actually ask you to do it." I chuckled. "So, will you look after him whenever you can?" I asked.

He gave me a warm smile when he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Of course, Yuzuha. I'm actually very happy that Sasuke will have a companion. It's very hard to keep up with him, sometimes."

I nodded, completely understanding what he meant. In my old life, my sister and I were also six years apart. I think I've mentioned this before, somewhere. It's hard having a sibling who's so much younger than you. Every time you're out of a phase they're just getting into it. It's exhausting.

Itachi looked at my sad kitchen clock and sighed. The inevitable time to part ways has come. We simultaneously stood up, reading each other's minds again, and wordlessly, I walked him to the door and watched him slip his shoes back on.

"Itachi, thanks for—

I couldn't finish my sentence, because he grabbed me and hugged me tightly. I felt his heart but I couldn't hear him breathe, so I hugged him back and he released a quiet sigh. He didn't have to say that he'd miss me; I already knew. When he pulled away, he looked genuinely sad, and I couldn't help but frown in response.

"Be _safe_." He poked my forehead the way he usually did to Sasuke. He had started that little tradition not too long ago. Why, I don't know, but it became his thing just like in canon.

I grinned, because it was cute and endearing and I didn't want to let him go on a sad note.

"You better train, Itachi. When the chunin exams come along, I'm going to give you a run for your money." He gave me a determined smirk.

"We shall see."

And with that, I let him out and shut the door, still holding the scroll tightly.

A little while later, Shisui dropped by with his usual ear-to-ear grin.

"So did you get the scrolls from Itachi?" He chirped as he kicked off his shoes and made his way to my bed, flopping down on the mattress as if my apartment was his. After shutting the door I situated myself directly next to his side.

"I got it. And if there wasn't a one-month rule, I'd annoy you and send you crows all the time." I snickered.

"And I would send them right back if you couldn't block the seals." He shot back.

We laughed together and then fell into silence. We were both sad and we were both ignoring the fact. Shisui and I had that in common— neither of us liked to deal with our own negativity.

"So you'll be back in time for the next chunin exam, right?"

"Yeah, definitely. It won't be long. Hopefully by then I'll be strong enough to get promoted."

"You're already strong enough to get promoted." He countered.

"I guess. I still feel weak."

"That's because I'm awesome."

"Tch, yeah _right_. I'm awesomer." I argued.

"Hah, _okay_. Who beat you at shurikenjutsu last time?"

"And who beat _you_ at archery the last time, again?"

"Ooh, snippy today, huh?"

"Tch, at least I'm not overconfident."

We both burst out into laughter at our fake argument.

"This sucks. Who am I going to argue with like this while you're gone?" He groaned.

"You _could_ always joke around with Hana." I snickered. I _felt_ him cringe.

"No, I like my head on my shoulder, y'know, where it belongs and all."

I laughed.

"She's not _that_ bad. How about Utau? She can take a joke or two."

"Yeah, and then that joke turns into a grudge that she holds forever. No thanks. She _still_ hasn't forgiven me for walking in on her vocal session with you."

"It wasn't a vocal session, she was practicing her genjutsu!"

" _See_ her anger infected you now!"

"I'd be mad too if you suddenly popped up and explained that my song 'kind of' sucked because the words were 'garbled'."

"They _were_!"

"They weren't actual _words_ , Shisui!"

"Then why is it still a song when it's just a bunch of gibberish?"

I released an annoyed sigh.

"You sing prettier anyway…" He grumbled. I narrowed my eyes at my ceiling.

"When did you ever hear me sing?"

"The one time she forced you to to prove that you could." I felt him shrug.

"So you were there for longer than I thought. When you walked up to us I thought you just got there." I face-palmed. "I'm so embarrassed."

"No, you were really good! Even Utau said so. You should sing more often."

"Nah, it's not my thing."

"Yeah I guess. You're better at joking around anyway." I could hear the grin in his tone, and chuckled.

I'm really going to miss the kid, guys. Shisui is super fun and it's never a dull moment when he's around. Training with him made me so much stronger than I could ever imagine. I owe him a lot; not only for making me super tough, but also for being my first and best friend. If it weren't for him… I doubt I would have had an easy time becoming close with the Uchiha.

I threw my torso back and crashed over his stomach. He grunted in pain and I felt his abdomen clench beneath the weight of my shoulders and back.

I would tell him how dear he is to me if it didn't make him think that I had feelings for him like _that_.

"Ouch."

"Liar."

"I know; I just wanted attention." He laughed. "Hey… you know… I hope we run into each other at some point while you're gone. I'm not stupid; I know it's not likely, but still…"

"Tch. If I sense you anywhere out there, I hope you know I'll send you a crow right that second; rules be damned. We're gonna hang out, even if my chaperone is stale and boring." I laughed.

"I wouldn't make assumptions. What if he's a total party animal? If that's the case though, I'll have to find him and beat sense into him!" Shisui punched the air in front of him, jostling my body with the movement.

"Hah, yeah okay. What if he's a she, though?"

"What if he's a she that likes to party? Then _you're_ gonna have to take care of her _and_ yourself." I heard his palm smack the metal of his forehead protector. "Sounds like a pain."

I shrugged and felt him clench again against the pressure of my bony back. I was stabbing him for sure, but he didn't mind.

"I think I'll be a real challenge for you when I get back." I grinned. "Maybe I'll beat you like I promised I would, remember?"

"How could I forget? That was the first day I met you… 'I'll beat you one day, just you wait and see-ttebane!' or something like that, right?" He chuckled after mimicking my tone of voice, trying so hard to sound girly.

I giggled back.

"I _still_ won't go back on my word. I _will_ get you one day."

"I'm sure you will..." I heard him turn his head, probably to check the clock on my nightstand. "It's ten." He groaned, hating the fact. "You should get your sleep. You're supposed to meet this guy before the sun comes up, right?"

"Yeah, some unholy hour like that." I inhaled and then sighed deeply. It was time to walk him out my door, too. I'm actually pretty afraid for him to leave. As soon as he leaves, I know the emotions will come. Everything I've been holding back today will flood me because I'll officially be alone and then who knows what'll happen. I don't want to be sad; I want to be strong. I _hate_ feeling weak. I lifted myself off of him, and expertly, he rolled to the side and onto his feet. I walked to the door, Shisui only one step behind me.

Stretching as he stepped down into the genkan next to me, he yawned.

"I slept all day and I'm still tired." He complained.

"Maybe you caught a cold."

He laughed at me.

"You like to jump to conclusions, huh?"

I glared at him.

"I wouldn't have to if you cared more about yourself, dummy." I growled back. He grinned and opened his arms. And just like that, I was smiling again and hugged him. Shisui's hugs are the best; hands down.

"I'll see you when you get back, then." He mumbled into my hair.

"Mn! Don't forget to write!"

He disentangled himself, but not before I tried to squeeze his stomach through his throat one last time. I winded him and he tapped out, laughing before he officially left. When I was sure he was gone, I changed into my pajamas, crashed onto my bed and tried to fight the nervousness from settling in. For the first time, I didn't know what to expect. I had no idea who I'd be traveling with, and thus, I couldn't create a picture of what was possibly coming my way. I _hate_ not knowing.

I hugged my pillow and tried to sleep, but there was no point.

* * *

The next morning, I reported to the village's main entrance as instructed and waited.

I was expecting to meet someone else, but I was surprised when I sensed a familiar chakra make its way closer and closer to the gate at a brisk pace.

Eventually, Yusui's mother became visible on the road that led out of the village. She waved her arm with a _huge_ backpack on her back and then picked up the pace. I kind of felt bad and wanted to go to her, but she didn't seem to mind. She was mildly out of breath when she reached me.

"Uzumaki-san! Thank goodness I came here early enough!"

"I don't think we've been formally introduced, Shimura-san."

"Ah, of course. Shimura Magai." She held out her hand with a kind smile. I took it, but the bruises were still there under the sleeve of her lavender dress. I noticed the wedding band on her finger was gone. Is…Is she running away?

"You have sharp eyes, Uzumaki-san."

"Just Yuzuha, please. And yes, your ring is gone. Are you running away Magai-san?" I asked. She nodded warmly. Her eyes were so much softer and kinder than Yusui's.

"I can't be with my husband now that my son is gone. If I stay I may be forced to kill myself."

My eyes widened. I didn't blame her, though. Domestic violence makes you feel worthless enough that you _would_ just throw your precious life away. I frowned because I knew _exactly_ what her pain was. It wasn't just physical abuse, it was mental as well. Though, she seemed like she had a spark behind her gorgeous eyes. This is what she needed.

"I have no reason to stay and Yusui was always adamant about me seeing the world the way I've always wanted to."

I didn't know what to feel or think. I never knew what Yusui's home life was like. He kept it quiet and never gave me or anyone else any details about his relationship with his mother or father. Sometimes I even forgot the kid had parents. To think he wanted his mother to be happy and never lived to see it happen… I felt my eyes water. Immediately, Magai-san placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Oh please don't cry! You're so pretty, it would be such a shame if you stained your face with tears!"

Her kindness only made me choke back a sob. It wasn't long before she was holding me like any mother would hold her child. I had no idea who she was but I felt such a strong connection with her that I couldn't let her go for a few minutes.

"I have something to give you."

That was when she pulled away and dug into one of the large pockets of her dress. She pulled out a forehead protector and I looked up at her, my expression clearly questioning as she placed the item in my hands.

"Is this…?"

"It is. Yusui would have wanted you to have it. He talked about you sometimes, you know. I heard a lot about that Yusuke fellow, but I don't think I've ever seen him so passionate when he talked about you."

"And how much I pissed him off?" I finished for her with a sad chuckle. She laughed elegantly and nodded.

"I don't think he was ever _really_ mad. Anyway, please keep it. It was wonderful actually meeting you."

With that, she bowed and turned to face the village gates.

"Hey, wait. Where are you going?" I asked.

She shrugged.

"Wherever, I suppose. I have a whole world to see."

Won't she be in danger?

I think she saw the worried look on my face, because she shook her head, her long dark hair flowing around her face and shoulders.

"Don't worry. If this didn't kill me, nothing can." She held up her battered arm to prove her point. Solemnly, I nodded in understanding.

"Be careful."

She gave me one last gorgeous smile and walked away for good.

I waited for a whole freaking hour before I sensed a chakra that felt like the weight of the ocean on my mind. Whoever this person was, he felt like a he, and he was definitely powerful.

I stared at the road, and when I saw him, my jaw dropped…

Fucking Jiraiya of the Densetsu no sannin.

I have no words. I scrambled to find something to say, but all I could do was stare. He came closer and eventually I could see his hair ghosting around in the pre-dawn breeze. It was legit white. Like, snow-fox white. His moles were gross and despite looking old, you could tell he wasn't crusty just yet.

Damn.

He stopped in front of me with confident, crossed arms and perfect posture, despite the huge scroll on his back.

"Yo." He greeted. I smiled at him; it's hard not to respect his confidence.

"Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin. Jii-chan outdid himself."

"Eeh? You're well-informed, girl."

"I read a lot. Uzumaki Yuzuha." I stuck out my hand, introducing myself, and he grinned, shaking it once before letting go.

"I would have introduced myself if you hadn't done it for me. Now, hokage-sama says you're interested in fuuinjutsu, right?"

I nodded.

"Well then, I'll tell you what; you help me on my mission, and I'll help you get stronger. Does that sound good?"

I shrugged.

"Whatever it takes. As long as I learn." I replied as seriously as possible. He eyed me for a second and then frowned.

"The ladies don't like such a serious-faced child. You're gonna have to try smiling sometime."

I guess even in this life I have "resting bitch-face syndrome." I cleared my throat and put an innocent, happy expression on my face, despite it being like, 3:45 in the morning.

"Hai, ojii-sama!" I gushed, putting my fists to my chest to mock eagerness flawlessly. When his jaw dropped I smirked.

"Like my performance?" I gloated and smirked confidently. "'Pretty good, ne?"

He shook himself out of hs surprise and then grinned.

"I think we're going to get along just fine."

By early morning we had reached some festival town that was trashed from a festival celebrating some arbitrary holiday I've never heard of the night before. There were designated cleaning crews dressed in grey kimonos sweeping up trash, deflated balloons, food waste and other such things. Our goal was to get a bite to eat and the only place selling anything was a stand that sold sweet dates and rice.

Literally, just sweet dates and rice; the weirdest combo of foods ever. The fat guy at the stand in the white apron seemed like he had been up all night and was over it, smoking a cigarette and checking on a fresh pot of steaming rice as we approached him.

Thus, a small box of rice accentuated with approximately six dates was my breakfast. Of course, I had money to buy something better after all the missions I've completed and earned money for, but there was nothing else to buy and Jiraiya made it clear that he wasn't walking any further without food. Begrudgingly, I had to agree with him because my stomach was starting to cave in on itself again. We could always buy something better later.

We sat on a bench in the dim morning sun and dug into our food. I munched on my dates as I watched a young girl sweeping confetti off of the concrete in front of a kimono store across the street from us.

"There's going to be another festival later today; this one celebrating oranges. If you can, ask around about any local rumors or news."

I can only assume he's beginning his search for Akatsuki.

"If anyone knows a pale, creepy and secluded guy, find out where he is and report back as soon as you can, alright?"

Ah, he's looking for Orochimaru. Nevermind.

"Okay."

We finished our breakfast and trudged from motel to motel, looking for a room to stay in. Most of the rooms were taken up by inebriated festival-goers, obviously, so we looked for about an hour until finally I fucking had enough. Half of the asshole hotel attendants were lying about the rooms they had available and I was cranky and done with the bullshit. They just didn't want to give away the good rooms they were saving for richer-looking people.

Motherfuckers.

So finally, at this super traditional teahouse-style hotel, I lost patience and broke down wailing and crying like the little girl I am on complete and total purpose.

"Ojiii-saaaaannnn!"

The tears came easily when I stuck my fingers into my eyes, pretending to rub away my tears. The redder the better, too. 'Looks more authentic.

"I'm so tired! My feet hurt so bad and my tummy feels bad again!"

I hiccupped and sniffled and everything I needed to do to alarm the lady at the desk.

"H-hey now, d-don't cry, you'll wake the guests!" She sputtered.

I screamed louder and then dropped to my knees, holding my stomach. Jiraiya fell into my act seamlessly. He bent on one knee and held me close.

"I know my poor granddaughter; it isn't easy. In a couple of days we'll find the doctor two towns over, I promise. Shhh…" He patted my back soothingly but I continued sobbing into his clothes for a bit.

I lifted my chin up to hug him, but really I wanted the young woman to hear my sob story.

"M-mommy would never make me walk this much if she didn't have to go to heaven!" Then I did that thing that kids do when they sob a few times before they slowly go into a full-on wail.

And man, did I wail. I was having fun with it too.

"I miss mooooommmmyyyyy!"

"H-hold on! I'm sure we have an extra key somewhere! Let me check again!"

The woman bent down, slid open a small door and soon enough, we heard keys jingling.

Bingo motherfucker. I knew she was lying! I _told you_ she was lying!

I kept up my act, though.

"You two can have the executive suite. It's a little far, but it is on the first floor. If you make a left over there and follow the hall all the way to its dead end you'll find the room there."

I had no idea which direction she pointed in, because I was still buried in my "grandpa's" arms, crying, but I knew I'd be led there eventually. Jiraiya lifted his arm and I heard the keys hit his palm with a dull jingle.

"You'll forgive me for paying later, won't you? I have to calm her." He explained in an apologetic tone.

"Oh it's no problem at all! I'll be here so the next time you come by we'll just take care of it then."

I felt him nod.

"Yuzu-chan, calm down, ne? We're going to rest now. I'll give you your medicine soon." He soothed.

I hiccupped a few times before I calmed down. Then, he let me go and held me at arms length. I tried to give him my best sad-little-girl face.

"It hurts so bad…" I made sure to "subconsciously" put my hand over my stomach. He nodded and picked me up into his arms. He waved to the woman and I buried my face into his shoulder as he walked us to the room.

And boy did we get the best room ever; it had a built-in bathroom and everything. We wouldn't have to share a bathroom at the end of the hall like the other guests would.

Hah.

When we entered, there was a huge, flat bed resting on the shiny wooden floor. There were balcony doors that slid open to the woodsy edge of the village, and the walls had elegant designs of nature painted onto them. There was a cherry wood table with a vase, two matching chairs and a jug for water in one corner of the room. Lanterns dotted the ceiling with modern light bulbs in them and there were enough of them to brighten up the room, despite the sunlight outside. I flopped backwards onto the silky purple sheets in a starfish position and cackled to myself.

We are so going to hell for this. Either that or I'll be thrown into Attack on Titan next. As for Jiraiya, who knows?

"You're a horrible little girl." He crossed his arms after he shut the door. It was clear that he didn't approve of my vicious guilt-trip.

"False. I'm a shinobi. I can lie all I want as long as it helps my village and doesn't hurt my precious people." I lectured back, raising a finger and wagging it before dropping my arm.

He sighed deeply and I heard his wooden sandals thump quietly against the floor until he sat down next to my outstretched form.

"I guess I can't argue with that. It's just sad that this world is designed to force the young out of their childhoods like this."

I shrugged. I don't know what a normal childhood is anyway so I can't exactly feel bad about losing something I haven't ever experienced.

Anyway, the next few months were a repeat of my first day with Jiraiya… just not in the same order, obviously. Some days we had to con people, others we didn't but most of our time consisted of travel and information gathering. It wasn't until our first skirmish with a group from Iwa in a little border village that Jiraiya started training me in between travels. He said I'd been patient enough and that it was time we visited the decimated Uzumaki village to learn more about fuuinjutsu and possibly find me an animal summons to contract with.

On the road to Uzushiogakure I managed to get Jiraiya to tell me who exactly we were looking for. And we didn't often hear about him, though according to Jiraiya, there were some rumors about ruthless mercenaries in the south—AKA the first ever whisperings of Akatsuki doing bad-people things.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell him to go to Amegakure and kill the beginning of that group in its crib. Unfortunately, it would be weird if I insisted, or looked for excuses to go there all the time, so I kept my mouth shut and dealt with the pointless journey down south.

It wasn't all for nothing, though! I did get to see the beach and I got to use this cute bathing suit Mikoto packed for me. Honestly, at some points it felt like I was on vacation, just learning and absorbing and enjoying.

We eventually found a summoning scroll for bats. Jiraiya protested, because, well, who likes bats? But of course, I wanted something that was big and could fly too. I can't let Itachi and Shisui be _too_ cool and special, right?

So here I am, in the super feng-shuay backyard of this temple, right in front of a rock garden in the middle of spring, getting a little nervous as I stare at the scroll in front of me.

"Just do it already."

"What if they don't like me?" I asked Jiraiya and when I turned my head he was sitting ar the edge of the koi pond, dipping his fingers into the water like a child.

"Entire villages have been taken down because of 'what-ifs' like that. I don't see why you're nervous anyway. I've seen you less intimidated by bouncers and guards."

He's not lying either— about the bouncers and guards, I mean. We've hit up just about every bar and club, scummy and otherwise, on our way so far.

"Look, if they don't like me, they might just tell me 'no'. I can't have that and I don't feel like doing any convincing."

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the pond.

"Just hurry so I can get back to my research." He huffed and looked longingly past the door to the backyard, probably imagining himself next to the bathhouse in the village below this temple. No lie, he really is a peeping Tom.

I growled and took a breath. Now or never. I wove the proper string of hand signs and slammed my palm on the paper of the scroll before me.

"Kuchiose-no-jutsu!"

Poof!

I was gone.

Like, _gone._ I ended up in a dark, cold place and I could _not_ see. I panicked a little because who the hell knows if I've gone blind or not, but I closed my eyes and focused on my eye of Kagura technique. If I can't see with my eyes, I'll see with my mind.

I didn't bother calling Jiraiya's name; he was long gone and if I can't sense him, then at this point we must not even be on the same planet. Of course, that's an exaggeration; I can't sense _that_ far, but wouldn't it be cool if I could?

Anyway, I sat absolutely still, and made no noise.

I could _just barely_ feel some chakra nearby, but it was faint.

"I can hear you breathing." Boomed an adult, male voice.

I should rightfully be scared, and I am to an extent, but you guys know me by now… I prefer to be a smartass.

"Is that so?" I sounded as unperturbed as I wanted to; success.

The man chuckled.

"I can feel your fear as well."

Fuck.

"Fine. You got me. Who are you, where am I and what happened?" I asked bluntly.

"Well, at least you're entertaining."

I stood to my feet, and when I felt the ground with my hands, it felt smooth and cool. We were definitely in a cave that experienced some flooding every so often. The sound of dripping water also signified that we were definitely underground, where stalactites and stalagmites liked to form.

I wish there was some light so I could see.

"You're on Komori Mountain within the Cave of Journeys far, _far_ from the civilization you are familiar with, of which I am King. My honorable name is Kuroihi, but you will only refer to me as Kuroihi- _sama_."

Riiight…

"I activated a summoning scroll. I'm not sure why I was sent somewhere. Typically, individuals are summoned to where I am from, correct? Why is this…not the norm?"

Why is anything not the norm for me? Something like this _would_ happen to me. Everyone gets a normal summon that comes to them, but _no_ , Yuzuha gets the crazy summon that transports _her_ instead. Of fucking course.

"Because any mortal that dares to summon the king of the sovereign bat colony must first prove himself worthy of a contract of such caliber."

Oh boy…

Here we go again…

* * *

MY GOD that chapter had so many little details and things to insert.

I am loving all of the reviews I'm getting! I _love_ to see people critically think and comment on what they've read! I love seeing all of your minds working and turning from reading my stuff! It makes me so happy to see that you guys are really getting into this fic!

I can't tell you all how much joy you've brought into my life with all of your support. Thank you again, so very much. I can't wait to hear from you guys after this one!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: -Sigh- For real guys? Do we need this here? For _every_ chapter? *clears throat* Ahem! I do NOT own Naruto in any way. If I did, do you really think I'd just let Itachi die? Yeah, no. I didn't think so, either.


	14. Almost There

How Uzumki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto:

Yuzuha was released from jail with a slap on her wrists for punching Yusui's father for smack-talking about his deceased son. Her "punishment" was to be sent away on "community service" for a year, which really ended up being an adventure with Jiraiya, where she trained with the legendary shinobi while helping him look for Orochimaru. Before she left, she was able to say goodbye to Yusui's mother, receiving the boy's headband from her. On her travels, she acquired a summoning contract scroll that reverse-summoned her to a cave that was home to a royal bat colony. Yuzuha was excited to sign the contract, but the bats wouldn't just make a deal with her for nothing…

|14|

"So… what's the test?" I asked, because obviously there's a test. The voice chuckled.

"You must live here until you are ready."

Fucking _what_? Ready for _what_ , exactly?

"What do you mean?" I calmly asked for clarification.

"If you want our support, you must live as we do. How can one expect to create a bond with no knowledge about the other?"

You know, he has a point. Why do summons ever just agree to partner up with a shinobi? What do they get out of it?

"Can I ask you a question, Kuroihi-sama?"

"Please do."

"If we ever partner up, what do you get out of a bond with me?"

He was silent for a moment.

"We bats do not like dabbling in mortal affairs. We are not shinobi like cats or dogs can be and we are loyal to none but ourselves. However, you have something to offer that we cannot find on this mountain."

"And what's that?"

"Though it pains me to admit, your blood is of the utmost quality; it _smells_ royal, thus it must be fate that has brought you here. Some of us eat fruits and insects, but some of us prefer living meals, and I can foresee many wanting to dine on you ."

… What the _fuck_ did I get myself into… I resisted the shudder that tried to shake my body.

"You should take a moment to make your decision. To be a part of the colony means to give as much as you take. This is a great honor and no one will jeer if you decide you cannot bear its burden."

"So you're saying that if I need to summon you, you're going to take blood from me as compensation?"

"Some of us will, yes."

…This sounds like it might end up on the list of bad ideas but… damn it I want to keep up with Itachi and Shisui! I chewed my bottom lip and wrung the bottom of my shirt, shivering once from the cold of the cave. This is like that one time I needed to buy a book for school. If I bought it, I might not have been able to pay a bill… but if I didn't buy it, classwork and homework would be a lot more complicated to get done than it had to be.

This is exactly like that. How badly do I want a summon that can fly and do cool shit vs. how badly do I want to _maybe_ pass out from blood loss on the field?

What are all the pros and cons?

"May I ask what you can do for me?"

"Many things."

"That's not exactly specific. You know this is a serious decision just as much as I do." I countered. Surely he understood that much, right?

"You dare doubt the exceptional talents of the roya—

"Alright, alright _alright!_ I get it, nevermind. How much blood exactly do you require of me per summon?"

Maybe that's a better question.

"The size of the appetite may vary."

"Probably depending on the size of the summon, right?"

"You _are_ intelligent."

"Thanks." I think he heard the smirk in my tone because he chuckled, as if he had the upper hand here, which he did. He was being neutral as hell.

"What is your choice?"

Like I even have enough information to make a choice. But something felt right.

"I'll live with you and your colony, sure."

" _Excellent_. We haven't had worthy entertainment in _years_."

Jesus Christmas that sounds creepy. Entertainment?

"I'm assuming I'm a student here, not an entertainer?"

"It is always entertaining to see a student stumble." I could feel him grinning.

I cringed when I heard the sudden flapping of wings next to my ear as something obviously small zoomed past my head.

"Yami! That's mean! Shouldn't we be nice to guests?" A tiny female voice chided and again, I heard more wing-flapping, but this time on my other side.

Two things settled on me simultaneously, one on each shoulder and the fuzzy fur I felt on my neck told me that a pair of tiny bats had joined me in my little spot in the darkness.

"May I please teach her, Kuroihi-sama?" The female bat asked in a tone that was as polite as Itachi's when he spoke to strangers.

"Byakuya! You know what mom said about being too nice!" The small, male bat from before growled next to my ear. I bet he's adorable. What's his name again; Yami, right?

Kuroihi-sama laughed jovially.

"Yes. Do guide her, Byakuya-hime."

"Aw, come on! Look at her! She's still trying to see as if she even can! It's pathetic."

"Wait, you can see me that well? Aren't bats pretty much blind?"

"I can hear your eyelashes touching your skin over and over, _baka_. I know you're blinking."

"Hey, you watch your mouth, now!" I warned. I would _not_ be stepped on by someone not even a quarter of my size.

Byakuya giggled.

"This one's chakra is so pretty, don't you think, Yami?"

"Yeah, except that ugly red deep inside. Isn't it against the rules to bring monsters into our honorable cave?" Yami snapped.

"This one interests me." Kuroihi-sama replied in a too-carefree tone, dismissing the obvious issue of Kurama technically stepping into their territory. Humans are okay, I guess, but a nine tailed biju? I guess not.

"Come, let's find something to eat! We can teach you how to hunt!"

Byakuya seemed excited and I felt her nuzzle up beneath my hair. It sent goosebumps up down the left side of my body. Anything that touched my neck put my entire being on edge like that; I've been that way since before I died.

"…Okay. I really can't see anything, though. Yami wasn't lying when he said that I'm useless right now." I replied as I pushed off of the cold rock beneath me and stood to my full height.

"Humans are weird. Why are you shivering?" Yami grumbled.

"Because it's way too cold in here… not that I've never been in a cave before or anything, I just hate being cold."

Kuroihi-sama cackled.

"This shall be fun indeed. Take care, my dignified children. I am off to the sacred hunt!"

There was a huge gust of wind far to my left that blew my hair up and around my face. I turned instinctively and raised my arms, just a bit and only because I was caught off guard at the sudden movement. The sound of flapping wings was so intense it vibrated off of the walls and buffeted my ears. It kind of felt the way your ears feel when one window in the car is open and the others aren't while you're illegally speeding down the highway like I shouldn't have done back in the old life.

Really though, don't drive stupid even if you are young and have no concept of your own mortality.

Anyway, the king flew off, leaving me with my two little friends… well, my one little friend and her twin hater.

"If you dislike me so much, you don't have to stick around, Yami." I gave him the option of leaving so we wouldn't have to deal with each other.

"Tch. 'Addressing me so informally like that. I'm not leaving my sister behind." He sounded like he thought that was a preposterous idea that offended him greatly.

Byakuya laughed.

"He's really sweet, just so you know. He's just shy. You're really pretty and I think he's got a crush on you!" She teased.

I chuckled. She's so adorable!

"Oh stop that, you're making me blush!" I joked.

"Liar." Yami growled. I think we're ruining his day.

"It was a _joke_." I hope he saw my glare in the darkness.

"Come! Let's teach you how to hunt!"

"Hunt?... Like in here? For what? Cave bears?"

Both bats burst into laughter and I felt stupid while I waited for them to explain what they meant.

"No, no! For centipedes and cave spiders! They're delicious!"

Oh my fucking God. Have you guys ever seen centipedes, like up close? I have. Before I died, I was living in my mom's basement. It was for free, which was great because I was in school, though there was a constant fear of being evicted because the house belonged to her boyfriend so I had to pray that they didn't fight. Anyway, the basement wasn't finished and the house was old and no one cared about spending money on plumbing, electricity and especially not an exterminator.

So anyway, those house centipedes were _everywhere_ when I first came back home to go back to school. I had to buy that chemical stuff all the time to keep them at bay, but some of them were _huge_ and they were always at war with the spiders that were there too.

I frequently had to vacuum the ceiling to keep the webs at bay in order to help keep those fucking centipedes at bay. People always wondered why I had no fear of insects. Well, you try living with two-to- three-inch bugs every day. I'm just happy there were no roaches or ants to add to the mix.

Anyway, yeah; centipedes are nasty. I didn't like living with them before but I _guess_ I can eat them so long as I don't feel their legs against my mouth, but I swear to God if any one of them crawls over me while I sleep I'm not closing my eyes until I get out of here. Fuck that. I've gone through enough trauma in my life.

"Are you horrified yet, human?" Yami sneered.

Oh no he _didn't._

"Are you testing me?" I warned. "Because I can bring my A-game, you know. In fact, I _bet you_ that by the end of the week I'll be an _expert_ at bug-hunting. So much so, that I'll be able to beat you at a hunting contest."

"Oh? You talk big. Fine. You get a week and a week only. I'll be back at the end of it and if you can catch a hundred bugs by that day you'll have my respect."

I narrowed my eyes in determination.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Yuzuha-hime?" Byakuya gently reminded me that I didn't have to get into a petty challenge with her brother.

"Don't call her that! She's not one of us yet!"

Ooh, he's maaaaad. But he _did_ say _yet,_ didn't he?

"By the end of the week I will be, you brat. You're _on_." I smirked.

"Hmph. You'll _lose_."

"I'll die before that happens."

"Tch." He fluttered away and left me with Byakuya's warm presence. She giggled and rubbed her face against my neck. I could feel her large ears on my cheek and in my hair.

"He doesn't realize that you're a very good sensor…aren't you?"

"I am, actually. Not to brag or anything." I grinned and she giggled.

"This will be easy for you, then. Have you noticed that you can feel everything better now?" She asked. I concentrated for a second and to my surprise I found that she was right.

"Actually, yeah. I can sense your chakra more than any animal summons I have before. Why is that?"

"It's the cave. The stone amplifies your senses. You'll find that after spending some time here, you will be able to hear better as well. I bet that by the end of the week you'll be able to hear your prey crawling around!"

"Where do we begin?" I wasn't looking forward to hearing centipedes crawling around, but what's gotta be done, gotta be done. It's time to cowboy-up.

"First, I want you to sit and concentrate. I'll remain silent, but I would like you to call out what you can hear, no matter how small the sound."

"Okay."

And so I did. It was so quiet in the cave I was eventually able to hear little tiny heartbeats and see little outlines of the bats above in my mind. I have no idea how much time passed but eventually, I was able to have a decent outline of the landscape just by listening to the echoes my footsteps made or by listening to the sound waves of flapping wings bouncing off the cave walls.

It got to the point where I could see the flow and frequencyof chakra, rather than just feel it like before. Every living creature had a different frequency of chakra, which is what makes ninjutsu and fuuinjutsu different for everyone. There are basic ninjutsu that anyone can learn because those jutsu are tailored to be general like that, but the more complicated jutsu, like _rasengan,_ need more effort because you have to adjust the frequency and flow of your chakra to suit the jutsu, created by someone else, with a different frequency of chakra than you. It's also why jutsu invented by individuals are so powerful; no adjustments were necessary to create the jutsu.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure once I leave this cave it won't be so easy to deal with all the noise of the outside world, but the point of these exercises was to teach me technique, so I could adapt when I get back there.

By the end of the week, I could hear centipedes and other cave critters crawling around and as long as they were decapitated and stopped moving I was able to stomach them after my third day there. I won the little challenge Yami gave me and earned his respect. He was still a mean little thing, though, but his insults had less bite and more love to them after that. About a week after that, King Kuroihi appeared, back from his hunt and very pleased with my progress.

"You have shown great improvement." He complemented. "Byakuya-hime… well done."

"Thank you your highness!" Byakuya responded warmly.

"Thank you." I bowed my head, certain that he could see it. I still couldn't see shit so I had gotten used to keeping my eyes shut.

He chuckled.

"I believe you've proven yourself, young one. It appears you can be one of us and are thus worthy of our bond... Are you prepared for the royal agreement?" He questioned in his deep tone.

Dude, I've been ready for the last _two weeks_. But I see why I had to prove myself first. What is the point of having a summoning creature if it doesn't respect you, right? That's taking without giving and it kind of is fucked up. At least the bats have enough self-respect to challenge strangers they're unfamiliar with before they sign their time and abilities away.

Though, who am I to talk? Maybe other summons just want to be friends with humans, or maybe they all challenge their shinobi in some ways, who knows?

"Of course your highness." I made sure to drop on one knee, the cold and damp of the cave seeping through my pants. Speaking of which, I really need a shower or a bath when I get out. Yami was about to kill me for even suggesting bathing in the cave lake yesterday. It was their holy place and every time I wanted a drink of water I had to say a prayer to the "Night God" who apparently created them from a piece of his wing.

"Very well then. Hold out your arm."

I did with confidence.

"The pain will be worth it."

Shit.

King Kuroihi descended from his place on the cave ceiling and landed gracefully in front of me. When I first came here I had no idea how huge he was. Now, I realize that he's about nine feet tall and his wing span is like twice that, based off of the image the sound waves and my sensory capabilities are collectively giving me.

I had a good idea of how big this place really is and it made me comfortable to know that I wasn't just in a black abyss like I felt before. I also felt small in comparison to everything else, like I do now, especially when I could feel the heat radiating off of him almost all around me.

Byakuya fluttered from above to sit on my shoulder. Yami joined her, and if _he's_ taking the time to support me, whatever is about to happen is going to _suck_.

"Is there going to be something I have to sign, by the way?" Most summons use actual contracts. I wonder if the bats did too. Kuroihi-sama's laugh echoed around the cave.

"We have no use for elegant symbols on parchment, especially if they will never be seen in our royal abode. The contract with our supreme beings is done in blood. I shall have yours and you shall have mine."

"Okay."

Well… too late to go back now. I ate bugs for two weeks. That shit is _not_ going to waste.

I felt the wind part around him as his head dove downwards towards me. My hair flew all over the place before his teeth sunk into the skin of the inside of my forearm. I yelped, but I was surprised at how fine-pointed his fangs were for such a large creature. I felt light-headed as he drained me and some of my chakra for a few seconds. Byakuya gasped in surprise as my chakra escaped my body and bonded with the king's.

"You _are_ special!" She exclaimed.

Yami was silent, but I could feel his shock. I guess they weren't expecting my healing bite. By the time I got nauseous, King Kuroihi was done and I was breathing heavily to keep all the centipedes and bugs I ate a half hour ago in my stomach, my hand on the cave floor to keep me from falling face-first into the polished stone beneath me.

I heard what sounded like a finger sliding down the back of a plastic shower curtain and then smelled blood. King Kuroihi had cut one of his wings, based off of what I was seeing in my mind.

"It is not every day I open my skin for someone, Uzumaki Yuzuha. Drink and join our royal colony."

I felt his blood drip on my cheek as he brought the tip of his wing near me. I lifted my head and drank it like something out of a shitty 90s vampire movie. You would think it would taste salty, but it didn't. It had its own flavor and believe me it was _delicious_ and thick, just like the fluffiest smoothie you can imagine. I drank until he ordered me to stop. I felt some of his chakra fuse with mine, too. It was a tiny amount, not enough to disturb Kurama but I felt it and it's power.

"With this pact, you have earned the title of ' _hime'_ within our kingdom. Should you need us, we will arrive without question."

I was shaking at this point. I _need_ to return to civilization. I need to eat real food and shower and _sleep_.

"Thank you." I whispered.

Yami and Byakuya rubbed their heads against mine.

"Yami. Byakuya. You have permission to accompany Yuzuha-hime, should you wish."

"Of course, my lord." Byakuya bowed her little head.

"We shall return shortly." Yami promised.

With that, I felt chakra collect into a seal on the cave floor right in front of us. I'm sure the King heard me smile once more in thanks as I placed my palm in the center of the seal and pushed some chakra into it.

I blinked and when I opened my eyes, I screamed and covered them as I fell to my side.

"It burns!" I shrieked. I was on dirt this time, in a warm environment and feminine giggles traveled through the thick, steamy air. There was _so much noise_. The excessive and sudden stimulation was overwhelming me and I had to swallow the vomit that rose into my throat.

"Kami-sama, shut _up_ will you!?" The hissed warning was Jiraiya's. "Take this and stay silent. You're interrupting my research!" In my mind, I saw him drop a cloth of some sort and I eagerly took it and wrapped it around my throbbing head.

I could tell we were situated right outside of a wooden fence in some alleyway, based off of the image I was getting from the sound waves bouncing off the surfaces around me. He's totally peeping. Mother _fucker_.

I groaned and grabbed my head. It's all too much.

"Oh kami-sama that sounded like a little girl screaming!"

"Crap." Jiraya cursed under his breath.

"We should go see if she's okay!"

Water sloshed around and I smirked to myself because I felt Jiraiya's panic rise into his chest.

"This is bad. Let's go!" He hissed under his breath and shot to his feet from his knees. He lifted me up by my underarms and ran like hell, successfully evading the curious women just on the other side of that wooden fence. When he finally stopped, we were in a small motel room that smelled a lot like him, which probably meant that he had been here for a few days already. He dropped me on top of the small twin bed and I curled into a ball, happy that the noise from outside has been dulled. My nausea crept back and I whimpered.

I _hate_ being nauseous.

"Well now that _that_ plan is ruined, maybe you can tell me why you're so pale and smelly." He was unhappy with me.

"Can you get me food? I'm gonna throw up…" I begged, keeping my face towards the silky pillow. Right then, Yami and Byakuya flew up to his face to introduce themselves.

"I am Princess Byakuya and this my twin brother, Prince Yami. It is a pleasure to meet you, savior." Apparently she regarded him as a hero for getting me out of that situation. Weren't they in pain, too, though? Why am I the only one suffering here? Do they have some built-in way of dealing with all this noise and light?

Jiraiya held out his palms so they could land but Yami huffed and refused whereas Byakuya landed on his right palm.

"I refuse to let a dirty human touch me. Despicable." The disgust was clear in his tone. If he had a human face I'm sure it would be scrunched up, as if he was smelling shit or something. Poor Jiraiya; I sensed his astonishment.

" _Yami_." Byakuya warned sharply. She never used that tone and it was interesting to hear her seriously chastise him.

Jiraiya gracefully ignored his attitude.

"What happened?" He asked them.

"The contract is an exchange of blood… loss of blood can make humans nauseous, I believe…" She explained.

"How long until this pain goes away?" I Interrupted as I sat up, referring to my ears and eyes. I could "see" a rough outline of the room. A nightstand decorated a corner to my left. The bed I was on was tiny and there were two doors and one window on the walls parallel from each other. The one door I assumed was an exit, the other a closet and the window was wide open since we had entered through it.

"It depends on how well you adjust. Everyone is different." Byakuya replied in her soft tone.

Gee… great.

"…Well, it's not like I need to see right away anyway. I can 'see' everything just fine."

" _Duh_. That was the point of living with us for the last two weeks." Yami sniffed and then settled on my shoulder.

Jiraiya sighed.

"I figured you'd come back at the worst time." He crossed his arms and shook his head. "Wait here and rest. I'll be back with food."

"Thanks." I smiled and he left without another word.

I napped while he was out. It was daytime so Yami and Byakuya were exhausted anyway; it was their time to sleep, too.

After I was showered, fed and had slept the entire night, I stayed in the hotel room and just chilled while Jiraiya did his daily "research." By that next night, we set out of the bustling city and into the woods, where I would have an easier time recovering. After a day's worth of travel, we finally set up camp for the night and rested.

"I received a bird from Hokage-sama. In three months you're going to take the chunin exams."

"Awesome. What are we going to work on?" I grinned at him across the fire and I could feel him grinning back. His chakra fluctuated the way it did when he was amused.

"Everything."

"I suck at genjutsu. I have a hard time fabricating all of that stuff." I frowned and waved my hand at "all of that stuff." He would know what I meant.

"As long as you're good at breaking genjutsu it doesn't matter. I'm assuming your Uchiha boyfriends made sure of that, correct?"

If I had more blood in my body I would have blushed out of embarrassment.

"They're _not_ my 'boyfriends.' Not like that at all, so quit it, will you?" I crossed my arms with conviction. "I'm not planning on being with anyone ever anyway."

Ain't nobody got time for that! I have a psycho-moon-bitch and her shadow-hell-spawn to prevent from reincarnating!

"That's what you say now. Wait till you become a teenager." He chuckled to himself and I shot him a glare through my blindfold as he used a large stick to poke the fire.

"I mean it." I argued back. "Romance has no place in shinobi life." I crossed my arms and tried to sound as professional as possible.

"Yet so many shinobi marry and have children."

"Not this shinobi." I adamantly jerked my thumb towards my chest. I wish he would drop it. If he knew how doomed I actually am he wouldn't be saying that. There's no way I'm going to live to see the end of this story.

"Whatever you say." He raised his hands, but I knew he didn't believe me. Whatever. He can think what he wants. _Just_ as I was about to scoot closer to the heat of the fire, a crow popped up onto my shoulder, scaring the _shit_ out of me. I jumped and Jiraiya chuckled. Ignoring him, I moved to unblindfold myself but Jiraiya's warning tone stopped me.

"You might not be able to handle the light, yet." He grimaced.

"I'll be okay… I think. If it's too much, I'll just put the thing back on. I can't be blindfolded forever."

Now let's see that letter… I could feel his disapproval but I knew that he knew that I would take that blindfold off tonight somehow or someway so he didn't try to stop me.

I covered my eyes with my arm as the cloth slid off of my face and into my lap. The light from the fire shone through my lids and I grimaced. Look at the bright mid-day sun with your eyes shut; that's what it was like. I waited until my eyes stopped watering before I cracked them open just a bit. I felt pain with every millimeter that my pupils shrunk.

I looked away from the fire for a while and just let the tears stream down my face.

"You don't have to torture yourself you know…" Jiraiya finally spoke as the crow cleaned the wings of his feathers with its beak next to my head. It's so fucking cool. I always wanted a crow growing up. Not because Itachi was my favorite character but because crows are actually really smart and loyal.

As Jiraiya stoked the campfire with a stick, I finally recovered and unrolled the little document I relinquished from the bird's leg. I smiled when I saw the neat handwriting on the paper; It was from Itachi this time.

 _Hello Yuzuha, I apologize for taking so long to respond; I've been away on an important mission. As soon as I returned, Utau had her first live concert at the Hot Water town theatre. I'm sure you can imagine that I was drafted to be her security for the night. She roped Shima into being her backup singer. They were both pretty good and I urge you to listen to them when you return._

 _I've been preparing for the chunin exams, recently, though my father is too busy to train with me. He's been having many meetings with Hokage-sama. Something has happened. I shouldn't disclose this to you, since it is official police business, but I trust you._

Not gonna lie, I blushed at that. It was an honor to have someone's trust and not just anyone's trust, Uchiha Itachi's trust. Granted, we always kept each others' secrets, so there was no denying that we had a lot of trust in each other, but to hear him admit that out loud was really something else.

 _Not long ago, hokage-sama invited representatives from Kumogakure to discuss and sign a peace treaty. It just so happened that the daughter of the Hyuuga clan head was having her birthday party the same day._

Oh no… The Hyuuga incident! Shiiiiiiit! I forgot that was supposed to happen now-ish! I bit my lip and continued reading.

 _My father suggested that Hyashi-sama increase the security around his compound, just to be safe. Kumogakure is infatuated with doujutsu and have recently been going after sharingan and byakugan vessels on the battlefield. Hiashi-sama, as a gesture of good will, hired the police force to work alongside his sentinels that night, which proved to be a good strategy, because the representatives did indeed attempt to kidnap the little Hyuuga heiress._

 _They managed to capture the men alive and are currently interrogating them. I wouldn't say that our clans are in an uproar, but there's definitely been more of a bustle among the Hyuuga and Uchiha shinobi. Someone suggested for Shisui to get involved with the interrogation, but father refused. Shisui is nervous because he knows that if it comes down to it, he'll have to use his sharingan…in ways he doesn't want to._

 _I have no idea if there will be more war or not as a result of this incident. Either way, stay sharp. Who knows how far this information has spread amongst their ranks? Be extra careful if you encounter any Kumo shinobi._

 _On a lighter note, I wish I had someone challenging to train with. I've been bored since you've left. I almost feel out of shape. Izumi offered to train with me, but every time we meet I seem to be teaching her more than testing myself and my skill set._

 _Naruto is doing well. He misses you, but he's optimistic. He pushes himself every day and is proving a great challenge for Sasuke, all to impress you when you come back. They are both progressing very quickly and I suspect they will be ahead of their classmates when they enroll in the academy._

 _I successfully received the book you wanted to return in our last correspondence. I told you that you would like it. Have a little faith next time, ne? I hope to one day write a book series just as creative… perhaps when there is peace… if there ever is peace._

 _The village seems to be calm so far. As far as I know there haven't been any serious battles to fight on the outside. In fact, I've heard that Kiri is opening their borders. Have you? I'm sure that by now you know the chunin exams will be taking place there this year._

 _I'm not sure if they opened their borders for the chunin exams to scope out their enemies or if they are pushing for peace and the chunin exams is their way of extending an olive branch to the other villages. Either way, I don't trust it, as I'm sure you won't either._

My thoughts exactly, Itachi…

 _I can't believe you won't tell me what you're learning. I'm curious and it kills me to be denied the information I crave. Won't you reconsider telling me? Have you made any progress with the chakra chains at all?_

 _Also, where are you as of now? I'm envious that you've seen the beaches of the South. Between you and I, I kind of regret that my family only ever went into the mountains during past vacations. I love the ocean and the sand. Unfortunately, father doesn't. I suppose that's why we end up at hot springs deep in the mountains every few years._

 _Perhaps one day we can go there together, if you love it as much as I do. That would make for a fun trip. I can see our friends causing a lot of trouble with us._

 _I'm letting my imagination run wild, forgive me. I wish there was some other exciting news of some sort to tell you, but there really isn't. I hope your response will be more entertaining than mine._

 _Well then, talk to you soon,_

 _-Itachi-_

It was good to hear from him and I couldn't stop myself from grinning. His handwriting was neat and I could hear his voice in my mind through every word.

Grinning, I touched the seal on the inside of my haori and pulled out my stationary.

 _Yo Itachi! It's good hearing from you!_

I drew a happy face with its tongue sticking out.

 _No way am I telling you what I learned. You'll have to see when I get back! I'm glad Naruto's keeping his chin up. I'm happy he and Sasuke are doing their best!_

 _I'm almost done with the second book I borrowed from you. You were right, it did turn out better than I thought it would. The beginning just sucked a little. Reading fills up all the time I spend waiting for Jiraiya-jiji to get back from peeping on the ladies at the bathhouse. I'd appreciate it if you could pass that on to Jii-chan, by the way._

 _I'm sorry you're bored. I've had a lot of fun recently and I wish I could tell you all about it but if I do it'll ruin the story-telling later. I can't wait to spar with you when I get back! You better gear up, Itachi because you're going to have a serious challenge on your hands!_

 _I don't know what could have made Kiri suddenly open their borders, just in time for the chunin exams, too. It's suspicious and I'm not comfortable going there, but what can we do? Someone has to represent Konoha. A decently-sized group has to go or the village will look weak; others will move in to attack and that's the last thing anyone wants right now. At least three teams have to go. At least. I'm sure jii-chan will send us in with a way out just in case things go south, so I don't think it benefits us to worry about it too much._

 _I can't believe what happened with the Hyuuga. I'm glad your dad had an opportunity to warn Hiashi-sama when he did. Imagine what would have happened if he hadn't?_

We all know what would have happened. I shuddered. At least Neji still has a father now.

 _I really hope we don't get into another war over this. What they did is a huge slap in Konoha's face, but I think jiji is over death and bloodshed at this point. He might just ask for some sort of compensation and then let is slide. No one died, right? He might even send the Kumo representatives back home… maybe. Either way I'll be careful. I always am, you know that. Besides, Jiraiya-sensei is extremely skilled. His lady-game sucks but he's great at fighting and strategizing so I'm sure I'll be okay._

 _How is your mom, by the way? I miss her a lot. … And her cooking. You're spoiled, you know that? Just thinking about her food is making my stomach growl. … I can't wait to have her soba, or onigiri or whatever else she decides to make when I come back._

 _I'm impressed that Utau actually found a stage to sing on. I'm happy for her; it's been her dream to be a famous singer. She says it's impossible to be famous in her situation. I mean, she needs to stay in the shadows, but I have a feeling that if anyone could pull off being a superstar and a kunoichi, it would be her. Did she and Shima wear wigs? They can pull it off as long as they can hide their identities._

 _Again, I feel so bad that you're bored. Maybe shogi with Izumi will be fun? You could always teach Sasuke and Naruto how to find their chakra. It wouldn't hurt to have them over-prepared, as long as they keep it a secret… wouldn't want them to end up like us, right?_

 _As of right now, I'm in front of a campfire, in the middle of a forest somewhere to the east of fire country near the border. We're so deep in these woods, Itachi, that I can't sense a single soul in any direction other than animals. I don't know where Jiraiya-sensei is taking us next. I probably should have asked but I think I like being surprised._

 _All we've been hearing about lately is this mercenary group that's super deadly. They never fail a mission, apparently. It's the same information everywhere we go. Not knowing about them is frustrating and I think sensei is traveling aimlessly at this point in hopes of just running into someone who knows more about them. He puts a lot of faith in fate and destiny. I hope his whims take us back to the beach. And you know what, if we went to the beach with our friends I think I can agree that we'd end up getting sand in some old lady's bathing suit. We'd definitely cause some trouble, alright._

 _Anyway, your letter made me smile. Write back soon. Hearing from you and Shisui is entertaining._

 _I really miss you guys._

 _I'm learning a lot but being away from you two sucks... like a lot. I miss playing shogi with you and cards with Shisui. I miss breaking all the complicated genjutsu you guys throw at me, too. Sensei won't bother training me in that department because he's convinced I had enough training from you guys. I feel like that skill is fading now; the jerk._

 _I got off track again. I was supposed to end this letter a couple paragraphs ago. Again, write back soon._

 _-Yuzuha-_

* * *

Things were peaceful for a few months… until one day we stumbled upon a tragedy. I say "tragedy" because it's the only word I can think of. "Massacre" might cover it, but… there was too much pain and sadness in the eyes of the dead for that.

Initially, we were walking through the woods somewhere in the deserted land North of fire country that would eventually become Sound. We were taking a short cut to the west where we would eventually hit the land of tea.

I had stopped because I sensed a chakra. It was pretty far from where we were. It would take a couple of hours on foot to get there, but it was suspicious.

"Hang on! There's one chakra up ahead."

Jiraiya and I stopped on the branches we were pushing off of. He was frowning. Running into someone in deserted territory was never a good thing.

"Just one though? Are you sure? That's odd."

"Yeah one. Maybe we should travel forward a little? The person might have comrades further out."

"Good point."

Another hour of travel proved that the person was indeed alone. We stopped again. The sun was starting to set and we would have to set up camp.

"Can you get any details?"

"Whoever he or she is, they're weak. Like really weak. This person is either dying slowly or isn't very strong to begin-with… maybe both."

"Let's check it out. 'Might be a kid lost in the woods."

"Right. Permission to move ahead?"

"Granted."

I smirked and pulled out two of my kunai with the seals for my personal version of hiraishin on them. I threw one as far as I could and teleported to it. When I caught it, I pushed off of a nearby branch, simultaneously throwing the other kunai and teleporting to that one. I repeated the process and cut my travel time in half.

I was there in a half hour, and the sun was mercifully still up. I knew something was horribly wrong when I neared the location of the faint chakra. By now I knew that the person was a child, but Jiraiya might be wrong about it being lost.

My heightened sense of smell picked up the remains of a fire… a _huge_ one. When I broke through the tree line and balanced myself on a branch, I gasped. There was a small village in front of me, burnt to the ground. Carts of food were turned over and bodies were everywhere. _Everywhere._ The stone structures survived but everything else was pretty much charred. Children, women and men alike were slaughtered. Some with cut throats, others obviously burnt to death. There were flies everywhere.

I just gaped at the carnage for a while. Smoke was still rising from the ashes and a few embers remained here and there. I couldn't sense anyone for miles though, so whoever had done this high-tailed it out of there really fast.

Motherfuckers.

When I recovered from the surprise and disgust I realized that this was similar to Karin's story in cannon, but it didn't make sense because we definitely weren't in Grass, where she was allegedly from, if I'm not mistaken. Confused, I made my way into the ashy remains of a stone building, where the little chakra was hiding. The setting sun and growing darkness made the environment eerie, but I've dealt with some evil shit in my long life so I continued despite having a serious case of the creeps.

My eyes watered from the remaining smoke and ash as I looked away from the windows, their remaining glass melted at the edges. Some things survived, like the kitchen table, though it only had two legs. I couldn't resister coughing as I made my way through the ruins of what looked like a previously nice home, straight towards the little chakra, curled in a ball and shaking.

I walked through the living room, not making any noise and grateful for the fact that there weren't any bodies here.

I came upon a charred, thick wooden door and didn't bother to knock. I pulled it open, fully expecting to come face to face with a mini-Karin but instead, I saw a very familiar face…

Eyes and hair as black as ink and paper-white skin…

Sai.

My jaw dropped. He was terrified though, and shaking. He looked like he was screaming, eyes and mouth wide with a frantic expression, but no sounds were coming out of his mouth.

I almost gagged at the smell that was coming from the room. It was a smell I was very accustomed to… the smell of coagulating blood, fecal matter and other rotting organic matter… the distinct smell of death. I looked to the right of the room and saw two bodies, lying near each other; a mother and her daughter.

 **WARNING GRAFFIC CONTENT AHEAD + TRIGGER WARNING!**

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 **DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE GRAFFIC THINGS. AUTHOR TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS BEYOND THIS POINT SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO READ THE NEXT UN-BOLDED SECTION**

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 **LAST WARNING!**

The younger girl's top half was exposed with crusted over slash-marks all over her chest. Her black hair had been cut and her ebony eyes and full mouth were frozen in horror— her expression at the moment they must have slit open her throat. Her dress was torn and hiked up over her hips. She was raped…

It took everything in me not to vomit.

The mother's green eyes were just as wide. Her chin was on the ground, head tilted upwards at where the sister was laying. Her arm was outstretched towards the girl, as if she was desperately trying to help her. She had whip marks all over her exposed back. There were knives—not kunai— stuck in her calves and lower back. Her forehead had a bleeding wound and her eye was swollen, but not yet black and blue. She had died before a bruise could form.

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 **IT IS OKAY TO READ BEYOND THIS POINT!**

I put a trembling hand over my mouth.

Is this what happened to Sai in cannon? If I hadn't been here with Jiraiya… would Danzo have found him like this? Did he agree to stay under Danzo's care in order to forget that this ever happened to him?

There's no way in hell I'm leaving him now. No way. Canon-killer Yuzuha strikes again… I scrambled for a way to go about this. How do you extrapolate a kid from a situation like this without damaging him further?

"Hey… um… my name is Yuzuha." I spoke gently and then crouched. He backed away from me, and peed his pants. I could only imagine what he must have seen. I wanted to cry for him. As cold as I can be, I'm not stranger to human suffering… to be in a position where there is so much violence going on around him but being unable to defend himself or his loved ones…

I knew exactly how that felt. Granted, I had never seen anything like this as a child, maybe severe domestic violence, yeah, but nothing like this. However, I can relate to the feelings of helplessness and fear. I wanted nothing more than to hug him.

He was in a grey t-shirt and blue shorts and his little arms were covered in bruises. His eye was black, too. I almost started crying with him and I was starting to feel light-headed as the memories of my own traumas invaded my imagination.

"I won't hurt you. I promise…" I wouldn't have stayed calm if he didn't need me. I held it together for him.

How did he even survive the fire?

I looked up and saw a very small window above his head. It was about the size of a small dog door. There's no way he could have fit through that, but he definitely had air. I guess that's why he didn't choke on the smoke. There were marks all over the wall beneath the window. It was clear he tried very hard to escape, or at least to keep his face by the window and breathe. The wooden door must have been thick enough and lacquered enough to resist the flames eating the rest of his house.

"Do you want to leave here?" I asked him. He was hugging himself, still shaking. I put a soft smile on my face… _forced_ a soft smile on my face. He looked at me for a moment and slowly, the look of horror faded, replaced with skepticism; distrust. He eventually nodded his head. I beamed at him. This was the beginning of recovery.

Recovery. Recovery. _Healing._ Recovery. I chanted the words in my head, reminding myself that I would never let this kind of thing happen to him again. I was going to be his shield from now on; there was a light in that sort of optimism that I clung to, not only for him, but for myself to. I was doing something about it. I was helping. I wasn't weak. I'm strong. I'm _strong_. I can help. I _can._

"That's great! Want to ride on my back? I'm pretty fast, y'know." I tried to make it seem like it would be fun. Shakily, he got to his feet and came towards me as I turned around. He crawled up my back and clasped his arms around my neck. I placed my hands under his knees and made my way back through the house, ignoring the dampness seeping through my haori and shirt from his pants.

When I exited the home I cleared my throat.

"Hey can you do me a favor?" I asked as sweetly as possible.

I felt him nod against the back of my head.

"Close your eyes and count to ten. I wanna see if I can reach the trees before you open your eyes. Think I can do it?"

I kept that delicate cheer in my tone, making a child's game out of everything. In reality, I didn't want him to see the bodies outside. It's enough that he must have heard the screams of the dying. Seeing the carnage would make it so much worse. No doubt he could smell the rot, too.

He nodded again and I shot off as quick as possible, sensing Jiraiya nearby. Thankfully, I did make it into the woods in ten seconds. I stopped on a tree branch, where my sensei was leaning against a thick tree trunk.

"Who's he?" Jiraiya's tone was nonchalant, almost bored, but I could tell he was forcing himself to be calm, just like I was. The shock and fear was seeping out of me, replaced by rage and need for blood. I tried not to fill myself with anger just yet.

I shrugged.

"'Falls asleep pretty quick…" He nodded his head at Sai, who had passed out. I could hear the child's steady breathing next to my ear. "We'll leave him in the nearest town."

" _What_? No _way_. We can't just _leave_ him, are you kidding? Do you have _any_ idea what he has just seen?" I spat in a whisper, to not wake him up.

"Why does this peasant smell like pee?" Yami groaned with a yawn as he crawled up the sleeve of my haori and onto my shoulder.

"Shhh!" I hissed. The last thing I wanted to do was scare a little kid with little flying terrors of the night. Not everyone thinks bats are adorable. " _I_ think you're cute but the kid might not if he wakes up." I then turned my ire back to Jiraiya.

"And _you_. You have no idea where I found him. He was in a storage room that might as well have been a dungeon, next to the rotting corpses of his mother and sister who were beaten and raped before they died. It's a miracle he even survived this hell. There's no way we're abandoning him after all that." Hell to the _no._ I put my foot down. Ten years old or not, I will have my damn way.

Who would have known that this was what Sai went through before root brainwashed him into a shell of a person? This is plain fucked up. This little three or four year old witnessed his family being murdered and then went to a camp where he would learn to kill his emotions and murder others. It's sick. This world is sick.

Jiraiya frowned at me.

"No." He straightened his posture and crossed his arms with his feet almost shoulder width apart. He meant that 'no'; it showed in his body language. It immediately put me into fight mode.

"And why not?"

He sighed.

"Do you really think Konoha could afford another orphan? We have enough of those. Plus, he's not even from fire country. Maybe if this village was within the border it would be okay, but it's not. He's not one of ours."

"That's a weak excuse and you know it." It was actually a pretty good excuse, but I kept my face straight. "It doesn't matter where he's from. He's Naruto's age and look what he's already been through. Don't think I haven't done any learning on my own while you're off stalking naked ladies, _ero-sensei_. I've seen what it's like being an orphan outside of Konoha. At least within the village, he'll have a real shot at becoming a shinobi. He could _help_ us in the long run."

The tension proved to be too much for Yami.

"I'm going back to sleep." And he crawled back down my sleeve to cling to my right tricep.

Jiraiya and I stared each other down in a battle of wills. Eventually, though, he sighed and shut his eyes. He threw his hands up in surrender. I allowed myself to smirk.

"Fine. Hokage-sama spoils you too much; you don't know anything about limits. There are only three months left before we return anyway, but don't think I'm just going to let you pick up whatever parentless kid you come across from now on. I'm not a traveling orphanage." He grumped. I beamed at him, _and_ my victory. Hah!

"Deal. This boy is special anyway. There won't be any need to pick anyone else up." Unless it's Karin. If we come across her, I'm going to argue that we need more Uzumaki in the village and act offended that he would leave someone of my clan unattended and vulnerable to the evils of the world. But he doesn't need to know that.

"We need to get him cleaned up." Jiraiya grimaced.

And for the next three months, Sai became our travel buddy. There was just one problem…

He was completely mute. He wouldn't talk, not even when he smiled. Jiraiya was ecstatic because the last thing you need on a dangerous mission is a three year old dead weight, and the quieter he is the better it is for us, but I found myself constantly worrying about his mental health.

…I dared even wonder if maybe root really was the best option for him. He could talk in cannon. Was that because of training that he experienced in root? Maybe it was because of his "brother" that he met there? I resister the urge to bite my nails like every day. Maybe I shouldn't have stepped in like that?

But who the hell would leave a kid in that miserable place? I'd never forgive myself. Yeah, okay, so I've done horrible things. I've killed so many people by now, but you know what? I never let them suffer. Leaving Sai there would be leaving him to suffer and I can't turn a blind eye to something like that.

I tried so hard to gauge him; see what he liked and disliked. The only things I found him interested in was the times that Jiraiya and I trained and flowers. He loved flowers. He loved drawing flowers, more specifically. Jiraiya wouldn't buy him a sketchbook because he's cheap but I did some…um… "convincing" and got one for free.

So he would peacefully draw under the shade of a tree or whatever else was in the area while Jiraiya and I trained. Sometimes I'd look over and he'd have his eyes glued on us, almost as if he could learn the intricacies of what we were doing just by observing.

Jiraiya frequently left to peep on women on our way back to Konoha. I stopped trying to kill him for it when I realized he was going to take every opportunity he could to escape and it wasn't worth losing precious sleep over. Thus, today I was spending my hours loafing under a tree on a warm spring day next to Sai, who was as usual drawing in his sketchbook. The pencil we bought him was less than four inches long at this point, but he still made it work with his little hands. His drawings weren't perfect, but they were definitely better than my awful hieroglyphs when I was that age. He stopped and tugged the sleeve of my haori. I looked down at him. He was holding up his pencil, expression blank and expecting. It was our routine at this point: he'd hold his pencil up and I'd unseal his sharpener and sharpen it for him.

We were quiet as the wood of the pencil crackled between us and fell to the grass below.

"What are you drawing this time?" I asked, but I didn't dare lean over to pry. His art was sacred and if he wanted to keep it secret he could. A rare smile crept across his little mouth. He turned his book towards me and I grinned. He was drawing a prefect swirl; the Uzumaki symbol that I sported on the back of my haori.

"You have a good memory to be able to draw it that perfectly with no model. Are you practicing curved lines?"

He nodded eagerly and took the pencil I held out to him. I heard him scribbling as I pushed that sharpener back into my scroll.

My favorite crow popped up onto my shoulder, surprising me and making Sai jump quietly.

"Yo, Goku." Yes, I named him Goku. He doesn't talk so he gets a name, too. Sai helped me pick it.

Goku dropped a scroll into my waiting palm. The smiley face that was etched into the wax seal was obviously Shisui's work and I grinned as I cracked it off.

 _Dear Yuzu… I'm so sorry I haven't written in so long. I didn't have time until now… Actually, I have too much time right now. And since I'm so bored where I am, I decided to come up with a haiku…_

 _Uchiha Shisui_

 _I am a bored shinobi_

 _This haiku sucks bad._

I snorted. A real work of art. He should get a Nobel Peace prize for that one.

 _Think I can write a book? Hah, imagine that! I think if I really tried I could be just as good as Jiraiya-sama. Speaking of which, how is everything going? Are you still perpetually annoyed with him? Knowing you, I would think you've given up on stopping his habits by now._

 _Anyway, let me get right to the point because I have nothing else to talk about:_

 _You found a kid?_

…

 _Really?_

 _What are you going to do with him? You're crazy, you know that? You're bringing an outsider into the village. That is totally against protocol._

… _But if anyone could pull it off it would be you._

 _Still, this is going to take a lot of talking on your part. What will you do if we can't take him?_

 _Anyway, I'm glad to hear from you. Feel free to send me as many letters as you want. At this point I'll be happy to receive one every five minutes. There is nothing going on. Nothing._

 _-Shisui-_

He must be on patrol somewhere. Poor kid.

I looked down at Sai. He was watching me carefully with large, black eyes. I shot him a smile.

"I think Shisui will surprise you when you meet him." I commented.

No response. No surprise, either. I folded the letter and stuck it in my left pocket; I'll burn it later. I unsealed my notebook and pencil and got to work writing a response.

 _I have no idea what I'm going to do, to be honest. I'm going to wing it, though, that's for sure. If you saw the condition I found him in Shisui, you wouldn't have been able to walk away either. It was awful._

 _When I get back we have to get sushi. Jiraiya-sensei and I have tried sushi from all over but nothing beats Konoha sushi. I'm so hungry but I'm so lazy, too. All I'm doing right now is lounging under a tree while—_

I sensed him. I sensed Shisui. My head shot up and I focused just a little. He was just at the edge of my sensory range, which meant he was hours away, but I could feel him.

 _Stay where you are! I can feel you. I'll be there soon._

I gave the message to Goku, who immediately poofed away. Seconds later, I felt Shisui stop, just as his chakra signature began to fade from my mind.

It was earlier than midday and I knew Jiraiya-sensei would be out until night so it wouldn't hurt going to the border, right? I'll still be in fire country and I'll be around Konoha shinobi.

Who am I kidding? Anything can go wrong, but I'll risk it. I looked down to Sai and smiled.

"Wanna go on a trip?"

He looked down to his art, contemplating for a second before he looked back up at me, met my grey eyes and nodded.

"You'll have plenty of time to draw. I promise. Just make sure you follow all my instructions when I give them to you, okay? We'll be back at the hotel before Jiraiya-sensei even thinks about returning."

He lifted his arms and I hurried to seal up my writing stuff. He crawled onto my back, as was the usual protocol for long-distance traveling and I unsealed my hiraishin kunai. I tossed one and teleported to it, threw the one in my left hand as I caught the one I teleported to and teleported again. I repeated the process and eventually, I had to dodge like, ten kunai and three shuriken. I pushed off the ground and shot backwards, narrowly avoiding the weapons. Shisui dropped down from the thick canopy of trees. He was grinning despite the fact that he almost killed me.

"Yuzu!" With one shunshin I was pressed against him, his collarbones digging into my cheek. I was still holding onto Sai's legs, so I awkwardly pressed my face towards his neck to hug him back as best as I could.

He laughed as he pulled my shoulder away to look at me.

"You got taller! Hey, is that the kid?"

He pointed at Sai with curious eyes. I felt the little boy press his face into my hair. Sai didn't like new people.

I chuckled.

"Hello to you, too Shisui. Yes this is Sai. And you got taller too." I grinned.

"Hey! I'm Shisui!" He was looking past my head at Sai, but as usual there was no response from him; just the slight squeezing of my neck. Shisui frowned and his eyes quickly met mine before he returned his attention to Sai, giving him a calm smile.

"Sorry, I get excited sometimes." His blush was cute as he walked up to me to pat Sai on the head. He ruffled his hair.

"Well, let me take you guys to the camp." He grinned at Sai. "Hey, wanna help me pick up my stuff? You were pretty cool back there. I don't think I've seen anyone that calm in that kind of a situation." He complemented.

I let Sai slide down my back. Shisui held out his hand and the boy looked to me for guidance. I nodded with a smile and he slowly took his hand. The two turned and I followed them as they started picking stuff up. Sai could only pick up a few kunai before he had to deposit them into Shisui's weapons holster on his thigh.

"So where are these two bat friends you told me about? And are you sure you want to keep them a secret from Itachi? He's always honest with you."

He plucked the last three shuriken out of the grass with some force and put them away.

"He's still better than me. I have to catch him by surprise when we spar the next time. Otherwise he'll decimate me."

Shisui turned to me and rolled his eyes very slowly, exaggerating his annoyance."

"It's in your head, Yuzu."

"No it's _not._ " I argued. Shisui sighed.

"You two are pretty much on par. Take it from someone who's jounin." He grinned and I smiled back at him.

But to be honest it broke my heart. I could tell sometimes that he's seen too much. Some days his eyes look vacant before he realizes that I've walked up to him. A higher rank mean means more danger, more shit to see that he shouldn't, more stuff to do that he shouldn't. And soon, he'll be anbu.

Where is his limit?

"I still want to give him the fight of a lifetime."

Shisui shrugged.

"Your secret's safe with me."

"Speaking of secrets…" I trailed off, knowing that he'd put two and two together. I haven't asked about his mangekyo sharingan since he told me about it.

"I did do some research on that." He suddenly became very serious, as he should be. "But we can talk about that later. For now let's get to camp." His smile was black quicker than I could teleport. Said was looking up at him with wonder.

Shisui led us through the woods another kilometer or so and flashed through about ten hand seals to get us through a genjutsu between two large trees that covered the only entrance to an admittedly large clearing surrounded by what could have been the thickest part of the woods if I didn't know any better.

About twelve or so tents stood pitched up. The flaps of some of them were shut and several shinobi milled about, munching on food straight out of a can. They all looked up and then looked back down after recognizing me. One man approached us. He was a hulking machine of a man dressed in the regular shinobi attire that I knew had to be altered to fit his size. His eyes were a dull green that matched the darkest parts of the leaves above us and his dark hair was buzzed short. I couldn't tell if it was brown or black.

"Uchiha." He half-snapped. He wasn't mad, though; just curious. He was only using his commando-tone. He was used to being in a position of power. One that was well-earned if the scar on the side of his head, just peeking out from under his headband was any indication of his experience. He was maybe thirty.

"Captain!" Shisui stood at attention, though it was comical considering that he was still holding Sai's hand like some over-responsible big brother. I could have snickered but I didn't want to embarrass him so I stood at attention too. I think even Sai straightened up a little as well.

"Explain."

"Yu—Uzumaki-San was in the area and decided to drop by. I was at the end of my patrol and about to head back anyway. I don't know exactly who the tag-along is, though."

A smooth lie.

The captain turned his attention to me. It was my turn to explain.

"His village was burnt down. He was the only survivor." He could put the rest together.

"And?" He continued for me.

Well, shit.

"Aaand… I'm keeping him at my side until hokage-sama gives me instructions regarding his relocation." To Konoha of course.

I saw Shisui squeeze Sai's hand in my peripherals. I made it seem like Sai was temporary but I'll be damned if he doesn't end up staying in Konoha. I'll go on some sort of strike if I have to, I don't care. This kid is mine.

"You mean to say you're going to take him to Konoha." The captain called me out. Damn.

"And then convince hokage-sama to let him stay although outsiders are not allowed in without proper screening in times of war or armistice."

"Um…" Double damn. He raised his brów and I narrowed my eyes. "How did you do that?"

He gave me a warm grin that still managed to somehow look rugged.

"I'm not as good as you're rumored to be, but I'm a sensor as well. The tiny fluctuations in your chakra gave you away." He winked and Shisui laughed.

"There's a reason Bato-taicho is the leader of the border guard." Shisui explained.

I made an "o" with my mouth.

"I see. That's pretty cool. I'm not used to that." I laughed and stuck out my hand. "Uzumaki Yuzuha. Pleased to meet you."

He grabbed my hand with a smile.

"Saitoma Bato." He introduced himself formally and gave me a firm shake before letting go. "And who is this?" He asked looking at Sai, who pressed his face into Shisui's arm.

"This is Sai." I explained.

"Doesn't talk, huh?"

"Nope. Don't be fooled though. He can communicate better than you think he can."

"Alright. Uchiha's tent is over there." He nodded. "Behave yourselves."

I'm like, ten, bro. Chill.

Shisui glared at him with a blush and I rolled my eyes, heading towards the tent first. We dropped Sai off there with his art stuff and headed into the woods for some privacy.

"Clear." There was no uncertainty in my tone as I triple checked our surroundings for the faintest hint of life. We were alone save for the typical woodland creatures you can find in any forest.

"It's called _Mangekyo Sharingan,_ " he revealed and rolled backwards into a sitting position on the thick grass. I plopped down next to him and enjoyed listening to the chirping crickets before I replied.

"And?"

"It's complicated."

"Is anything ever simple?"

He snorted.

"Not when you're Uchiha it isn't." He paused for a moment and ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. "Anyway… I can go blind if I use it. I don't like talking about him—no one in the clan does— but Uchiha Madara had the mangekyo. It hasn't been seen since him. There's one text—an entry from his journal in the grand library in the compound— where he wrote about it."

His emotions were all muddled. He mostly felt insecure; self-deprecating. It was a place I've been many times before in my own mind.

"Are you disgusted with yourself?" I asked. He gave me a cynical smile.

"How do you know me so well?" He was serious. I looked at him and his cat-like eyes were searching my own, his expression expectant. I shrugged.

"I cheat sometimes. I can sense your feelings if I try."

"Hmph. Not fair." He crossed his arms with purpose, but his smile betrayed his true feelings. He was amused. "Anyway, it's kind of weird that I'm like _him_." He said the last word with so much disgust you could hear the "ew" in his tone.

I chuckled.

"You're nothing like what the books say he was like; stop whining. Now, what's this about being blind?"

He sighed and continued.

"Well, this variation of the sharingan has special abilities that go beyond the sharingan's regular capabilities. The abilities could be anything. He didn't elaborate what his were."

"So you won't find out until you use it."

"Exactly. But it gets better," he spoke gravely.

"There's a chance that the blindness can be reversed. Though, it's not something I would ever consider doing."

"…Continue…"

"You would have to take the eyes of your closest relative and 'make them your own'." He made air quotes as he finished his sentence.

"That's sad."

"He did it to his brother. Apparently his brother gave him his eyes, willingly upon his death, but…" He shrugged. "What do you make of all of this, Yuzu?"

Me? Um…

"Well, we don't want you going blind, so just be careful when you have your sharingan on."

He snorted.

"You talk about it like it's a lightswitch or something."

I laughed.

"Well, you and Itachi make it look like flipping a switch; like you're turning on a light. Can you blame me?"

He shook his head with a charming smile on his face. His eyes were directed at the tree tops.

"I'm afraid of accidentally using the ability. Everything about the sharingan seems connected to emotions and I'm worried that if I lose it one day it'll just take over and everyone will know."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. It'll do you no good at this point to worry about it." Oh yeah and, by the way, you possess the strongest most unbreakable genjutsu in the history of ever. No big deal.

"Yeah… you're right about that but still. It's important that the clan doesn't find out. I love them all, but…"

He shook his head. I don't blame him for not trusting them.

"Anyway, when we get back we should go see Kana-baa-san. I miss her food." He placed a hand over his stomach and I laughed.

"I miss her food too. I want good sushi so bad." I put my hands into fists and shook them for emphasis.

"Heh, she misses you, you know. You're her number one customer. Speaking of which, Friday night is officially ramen night for Naruto and Sasuke. That guy at that stand loves them. Oh! And there's this really cute girl with pink hair that has a crush on Sasuke!" He snorted his way into a laugh. "He has no idea—it's so funny. He's already becoming a ladies' man on the playground."

I snickered along with him.

"Hah! He'll be a great wingman for Naruto."

"Imagine that! We're going to be boring and old one day and they're going to be living it up. Tch, pretty boys."

"Especially Sasuke. He looks so much like Mikoto-sama."

Shisui shook his head.

"Ugh imagine us _old_ , Yuzu." He shivered.

"You _know_ I'm going to harass you at the old people's home right?"

He laughed out loud and the forest swallowed the jovial sound.

"I'm going to prank you," he threatened, "I'll hide your cane every Wednesday and leave you clues as to where to find it."

"Pshh get outta here. I'll have that cane chained to my ankle. You on the other hand… just wait, Shisui. There'll be no escape from my torture. I'll distribute your diapers throughout the facility or flush the toilet while you're in the shower. Promise."

He looked horrified.

"You're cruel sometimes, you know that?"

"Of course."

I yawned into my hand.

"Tired?"

"Nah, today's just lazy."

"Your hair got long." He pointed a finger at the red locks that hung down just past my shoulders. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I hate it. I can't wait to cut it off."

" _Eh?_ How come? It's nice!"

"Really?"

"Mn." He nodded and blushed right as he looked away, making it a point to look at some flowers scattered nearby. I gave him a small smile. Poor Shisui. He's bad at not being obvious.

"Well thanks. It's not my style, though. As soon as I set foot in Konoha I'm getting it cut."

Shisui sighed.

"That's too bad."

"What? Am I not pretty with short hair?" I teased with a smirk. I didn't particularly care if my short hair wasn't desirable to him. I'm not here to impress anyone and even if I was I still wouldn't care.

You know, I had a friend once. His name was Scott. Scott was really hot, like, no joke. He was a free runner so you already know he was packing some sexy abs beneath his shirt. He was gorgeous. Large, dark eyes, straight nose and layered, short-but-not hair. Scott took me out on a date. Several, actually. Things were heating up and I was super happy with the attention because I had just broken up with my ex of two years for good.

Now, at the time, my hair was damaged because _duh_ every girl that goes through a bad breakup dyes her hair something wild and impossible, at least, I did and I ended up paying the price. My hair was turning into dust as I ran my fingers through it, so I cut it. Like boy-short.

Well, that was the end of a beautiful fantasy because all forms of flirtation stopped right there. It was like driving up to dead-stop traffic on the highway.

Tch, jerk. Whatever, his loss.

Shisui glared at me.

"Do I even _have_ to answer that?" He was clearly irritated that I was toying with him. I snickered and patted his shoulder. "Thanks, Shisui." His grin was back instantaneously and he gave me a thumbs up.

After that, we hung out with Sai for a while. Shisui was great with kids so I just watched as he tried to teach Sai how to play a few card games. It was cute and the time passed quickly. When I went to leave, Shisui walked me outside the genjutsu and right to the edge of the scouting area. He grinned and hugged me tightly.

"I'll see you back in the village. Get there safely, all right?"

I patted his back.

"Get some sleep. You worry too much."

He shrugged and then pulled away with a small, sad smile.

" 'Can't help it." His eyes fell on Sai and he squatted down in front of the kid, holding out his fist. With a tiny smile, Sai bumped it with his. "Not that you need a warning, but be good, alright?" Sai nodded.

I put two fingers to my forehead and saluted him goodbye. Then, in a flash, I swept Sai up onto my back and used my teleportation kunai to travel back to the town.

It was nice seeing Shisui after so long. It made me miss Konoha a lot. I mean, I'm not from this world and I know exactly where my real home is— in the world I died in— but Konoha grew on me in the years I've spent there. It became home. I was excited to go back.

Though, I knew damn well that a whole heap of drama was waiting for me there.

* * *

YAAAAAY omfgoooooood guys. I've been away so long. I edited and re-edited this chapter and bla bla bla. I don't want to give you guys excuses but man, I have had some issues, shit. BUT on the plus side, I managed to work on both of my original works. I had a wild streak on inspiration for them for a while and I couldn't help but work on them so that also added to the many reasons why I couldn't get this out for like a hundred years. I hope the summary is sufficient enough.

I love you all. Always remember that. Thank you so much for being patient and for all the wonderful reviews I have genuinely tried to make time to respond to!

Also, kudos to **way of life** for being my 200th reviewer!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: *sigh * really? I'm going on strike; I don't have to write this. You guys know it.


	15. A New Teammate?

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

On the last episode of How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!

Yuzuha and Jiraiya found Sai in a horrible situation and after a whole year of training— and signing blood contracts with bat summons—, headed back to Konoha for the chunin exams!

* * *

|15|

You would think coming home was a big event. Fat chance. We ended up getting to Konoha at about 3:45 in the morning, exhausted from a long run. I got my wrists slapped thoroughly, and I mean _thoroughly_ for bringing an un-screened stranger into Konoha with the confusion going around about Kirigakure's intentions. But Sai's a kid. That was my main argument. He was a kid and if Yamanaka Inoichi wanted to dig around in his brain for treason he could. Sai had nothing sinister to hide.

No one said anything when I brought that up. That was how confident I was in his innocence, and rightfully so. With a few sighs and a lot of damage control on Jiraiya's end, it was decided that Sai could stay… if I could find a home for him in the next two days since Konoha's orphanage was full and its addition wasn't finished being built yet.

And I wasn't allowed to take him in. Jiji specifically said, " _with a legal adult that can take care of him_."

That was tricky, but I knew exactly who to go for for that one. It wasn't going to be easy, but as I sat across from her on her contemporary navy blue couch in her cozy living room, Mira-sensei was slowly cracking under my pressure.

I adjusted the sleeping Sai in my lap to bring her eyes back on him and how frail he looked in my childish arms.

"I found him in a puddle of his own pee next to his dead mother and sister who were raped, tortured and killed in front of him. How could I just let him stay there? Can you see where I'm coming from?" I asked her with a genuinely distraught look on my face. I was slowly breaking her down, but I was trying not to lose my shit at the same time. Sai would be relocated somewhere else if I didn't find a place for him with " _a legal adult_ ". Mira-sensei frowned.

"Please Mira-sensei, I'll go to the ends of the earth and get you whatever you want. I don't care. I'll do anything. Just please, take him." I begged her through the steam rising from the blue tea cups between us on her coffee table. She closed her pretty blue eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. When she exhaled she gave me a begrudging expression.

" _Fine_. I'll take him, but he better be as quiet as you say he is or I'm going to be mad, you hear me?" She was hissing quietly under her breath, just loud enough for me to hear, but not loud enough to wake Sai. I shot her a grin and unsealed the adoption papers and a pen. I slid them across the table and watched as she grumbled under her breath while signing them.

"Tch. I don't know what makes _anyone_ think I'm _mommy-material_ …" Pissed off, she underlined her name so hard I heard the pen moving across the paper on the glass of the table. She shoved the paper back at me and crossed her arms, her worry showing clearly through her scowl. She _knew_ it was a lot of responsibility and I knew she felt vulnerable. I mean, it's a _kid_. A whole human that you have to raise and nurture and love. What's worse is that Sai is traumatized. She not only has to raise him, but she has to heal him too; as best as she can, anyway. I knew too well what the thoughts in her head must sound like.

Don't forget, I'm twenty-four. If someone dropped a kid in my lap and asked me to take care of him I'd probably say "no" and direct them to the nearest adoption agency. I'm not mommy material either. Thankfully, though, Mira-sensei is a lot nicer than I am.

"Put him in the spare room." She jerked her thumb towards the hallway behind her. I grinned and nodded as she shot up from her arm chair and walked to the kitchen, her stress evident in her gait.

She has a lot more money than I do or ever did, too.

I placed Sai on the bed, beneath the covers and shook him a little to wake him up. He blinked, voiceless as always and looked up at me. I smiled at him.

"I can't keep you at my house, because I'm not old enough to adopt you," I started and before I could finish, his face twisted into an expression of anxiety and horror. He shot out from beneath the covers and threw his arms around my neck. I felt wet tears on my neck as I patted his back. He was quietly sobbing. His shoulders were moving and his chest was heaving, but he made no noises.

"It's okay. I'm leaving you with my sensei, though. Not Jiraiya-sensei, but my sensei from my village. She'll be really nice to you and the best thing is that you'll never be too far from me. You'll still get to meet my little brother and everything, promise."

I waited a few minutes for him to calm down. Puffy-eyed, he pulled me away, put on a brave face and nodded. I grinned at him.

"I'll stop by with Naruto tomorrow morning, okay? You just rest up and don't be scared of Mira-sensei, alright? She's a little rough on the outside but she's got a nice heart, trust me." He nodded again and I tucked him in. He didn't take his eyes off of me as I turned my back, left and shut the door behind me. I tried to keep my sigh quiet. It wasn't easy to let a kid like that go.

But I made the right decision. Confidently, I walked back to the living room and grabbed the papers off of the desk and the tea cup that had cooled considerably. I downed the liquid and turned to find Mira-sensei in the kitchen, chewing on her lip. Her eyes were hard and her expression was blank. Her chakra was a mix of different feelings.

I felt bad for her so I sealed away the adoption papers, walked across her open-floor-plan space and hugged her. Gently, she hugged me back.

"You really irritate me sometimes, you know that," she grouched. I laughed and stepped back from her.

"Yeah, I figured." With a shrug, I smiled. "Thank you, Mira-sensei. You really saved him."

She shook her head.

"I haven't saved anyone yet. Go home and get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

Nodding, I let myself out and teleported across Konoha to my apartment. Tomorrow was going to be a crazy day…

But first, sleep.

* * *

Imagine my surprise when I woke up purely on instinct to avoid a kunai that pinned my only pillow to my sorry mattress.

"Hey! You killed fluffy!" I liked that pillow. We became friends after a few sleepless nights filled with neck pains. And no, it wasn't fluffy at all.

When I looked up I found Utau, standing in my kitchen area with an Uchiha-esque smirk on her face. Do all Uchiha greet their best friends like that? Jeez. Shisui nearly skewered me too last time I saw him.

Although, he has an excuse. He _was_ on duty.

"I can buy you ten of those, who cares. Now come here and hug me, you corpse! You were so asleep I thought you were dead for a second!" Her smirk melted into a smile as she opened her arms and I rose from my tense crouch on the floor to hug her. She squeezed me tightly and rocked me back and forth before releasing me. Of course, she grimaced when she checked me out.

"Ugh, you stink."

I glared at her.

"I came home after traveling all day at, like, three this morning. Sorry I'm not perfumed and pristine like you are," I grumbled. And she really was perfectly dressed. She was in a deceptive, pink kimono decorated with white flower patterns, and her inky hair was in two, innocent pigtails. She looked like a regular noble little girl. She wasn't fooling me for a second, though. Underneath that outfit she was wearing her armor; some of it anyway.

Meanwhile, I looked like a cereal box next to her in one of Shisui's old and baggy Uchiha t-shirts and a pair of red pajama shorts. I'm sure my hair was a wreck, too. It grew to the middle of my back during my time away and I had stopped caring for it a while ago.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You're unacceptable, really. You know that Shisui is coming home in a few days, right? You can't look like… _this_ anymore."

I tilted my head, confused.

"What does Shisui have anything to do with the way I—

Oh. I see what she did there. I narrowed my eyes and she smirked, triumphantly placing her fists on her hips.

Joke's on you, Utau.

"Look, it's not like that between us, okay? And anyway, I already ran into him a few days ago."

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Are you _serious_!" She bit her lower lip worriedly. "What am I going to do with you! You're hopeless, you know that? You saw _him_ like _that!?_ "

"What does it matter? I don't care to waste my time crushing on anyone." _And_ I had a man I loved, too. That doesn't just go away, especially not for a 13-year-old _boy_.

She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Let's get you cleaned up. When was your last wax anyway, your eyebrows need it, like, bad."

…This is going to be a long morning. I looked longingly out the window, wishing I could just escape.

* * *

Once I was primped to Utau's impossibly high standards, she practically dragged me to the Uchiha compound. I kept pushing back my hair because she just wouldn't. Let. Me. Cut it! Grrrr. But there are ways around that, heh. While on the way there, I filled her in on some of my travels and what I had accomplished while away. She even got to meet Yami and Byakuya, though they didn't like being woken up in the middle of their "night" and went right back to sleep.

Eventually, we made it there and to my surprise, my little brother shoved open the door and tackled me to the ground like the puppy you left at home for an hour.

"Nee-chan!"

"Naruto!" I wrapped my arms around his tiny frame and sat up on the hard ground. Utau was smirking.

"How did you know I was coming?" He had to have known I was coming to run all the way through Mikoto's house and get to the door before I did.

"Utau-nee taught us how to sense people! I'm better than Sasuke is!" I grinned at his proud smirk as he pulled away and put his fists on his hips like superman. I stood up, dusted off my backside and then ruffled his hair.

"I'm proud of you, Naru-chan." I leaned over and pecked his forehead. His never-ending smile only widened. I turned to Utau and smile. She flashed me a quick peace sign. Clearly, she was proud of herself as well.

"Come see what Sasuke-baka can do!" He grabbed me by the hand and started to drag me into the house.

"Hey! You haven't even shown her everything I taught you," Utau screeched behind us. "Naru _to!"_ I felt her run after us as I followed my ball of sunshine all the way to the backyard. When we got there, I witnessed Sasuke shooting a kid's bow and hitting a target almost 20 meters away. He was a hair off of the bullseye; a little bit to the right. His shoulders slumped, and Itachi patted his back to console him as Mikoto clapped from the mahogany deck.

"Wonderful, Sasuke-chan!" Mikoto was smitten. I saw Sasuke's little fist clench around his bow as he spun around, though. I could feel his anger and disappointment.

"It's not good enough! I have to be the best by the time Yuzu-nee comes ba—

His eyes widened when they landed on me right behind his mother.

" _Yuzu-nee!"_ Itachi looked just as surprised as Sasuke dropped his bow—which made me cringe inside as an archer— and barreled towards me.

Mikoto shot to her feet and spun around.

"Yuzuha-chan!" She hugged me before Sasuke could reach me and the little jerk shoved Naruto's hand right out of mine to hug me from the side.

" _Oi!_ Sasuke _-baka_ She's _my_ sister-ttebayo!"

"Yuzu-nee!" Sasuke ignored him. I felt his little hands clench around the fabric of my haori.

"Hey Sasuke, Mikoto-sama." I greeted. They let me go and I turned to find Itachi smiling so much that even his eyes reflected it.

"Yuzuha." He quietly greeted. "Welcome home." I grinned at him.

"I hope you're ready for our first spar," I challenged He shot me a small smirk.

"So soon?"

"Now's as good a time as an—

"Wait a minute, wait a _minute_! We are _not_ doing this now! The point of coming here was to have a nice breakfast," Utau interrupted.

"Lunch," I corrected. Our time at the spa took longer than she thought.

Utau sighed and smacked her forehead and Sasuke and Mikoto disengaged from me.

"Okay, lunch. Whatever. Besides, we just got everything done. Don't ruin it already!"

She pointed to my hair to accentuate her point. Smirking evilly, I turned back to Mikoto.

"Ne, Mikoto-sama…" Her warm, dark eyes fell onto me as I spoke. "You think you could cut my hai—

Utau smacked her hand over my mouth and brought my head under her arm in a headlock, nearly tipping me over backwards. She laughed nervously.

"Ignore that, please, Mikoto-sama. Yuzuha has no idea what she's talking about, _ne_ Yuzu?" Her sudden glare pierced my soul and I gave her a sheepish smile. Then I licked her hand right between her fingers. A shiver crawled up her body and she shrieked and let me go. I stumbled, but straightened back up as I laughed at her.

Sasuke and Naruto laughed along with me and even Itachi chuckled.

"That's _disgusting_!" She looked at me with a horrified expression and I grinned at her.

"That's the point."

"Why don't we eat lunch, then, hmm?" Mikoto was an expert at changing the subject because Sasuke, Naruto _and_ Utau ditched the current train of conversation and cheered in excitement. I guess they were all really hungry.

"Wait," I cautioned just as everyone turned around to go back into the house. I waited until all 5 pairs of eyes were on me. "There's one thing that needs to be done before we eat." I made sure I was using my no-nonsense voice and everyone reacted accordingly. I turned a serious expression on Sasuke who couldn't wipe the stress off of his face once he realized that I was talking about him.

"If you're going to be an archer you're going to have to learn to respect and love your bow," I lectured as I pointed to the sad weapon lying on the grass several meters away. "If I _ever_ see that bow tossed aside like that _ever_ again I'll make sure you regret it. Got me?" Sasuke immediately bowed.

"I apologize for dropping my bow, Yuzu-nee. It won't happen again."

Well, shit. That was an eloquent apology. I turned a curious gaze to Itachi, who smiled at Sasuke in pride. I guess he's been taking his big brother duties more seriously this time around…huh… would ya look at that.

"Alright, alright. Quit groveling and go pick it up." I ruffled his hair and he snapped his head up, a wide smile across his face.

"Okay!"

"Wait for me!" Naruto ran after him into the yard and the rest of us made our way into the kitchen.

* * *

At the table, I filled everyone in on what I had been doing over the last year. Not surprisingly, not much was going down in Konoha, according to them. Although, even if something happened anyway, I doubt anyone would share any important secrets with genin.

After the meal, I excused myself to go find Mira-sensei and see how Sai was doing. Utau had to speak with her father so I ended up taking Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto with me. When I realized Mira-sensei wasn't at her apartment, I had to close my eyes for a second to search for her. She was at the park and Sai was with her… as well as another familiar chakra.

"Well?" Itachi asked when I rejoined reality.

I smiled at Naruto and Sasuke.

"What do you guys think about going to the park?"

"Al _right!"_ Naruto pumped his fist, jumped up and then high-fived Sasuke.

"I'm gonna beat you there!" Sasuke yelled and then took off.

" _Hey!_ " I didn't get to blink twice before Naruto darted after him. I stared at their retreating backs with wide eyes.

"They're _fast_ , Itachi…"

"They've been training." He replied, and I could hear the pride in his tone.

"Right, well, now that they're gone, this conversation will be easier to have."

Itachi cocked his head to the side as we made our way down the busy street and away from Mira-sensei's apartment, ignoring the disrespectful little comments some people made about me here and there. I guess people are still sore over me punching Yusui's dad.

"So, your sensei—what's his name, again?"

"Yueri Nao."

"Right. Did you know that he and Mira-sensei had something in the past?"

"I suspected… but I didn't ask. It isn't my business."

Leave it to Itachi to be polite and not nosy.

"Right, well, he's at the park, _right_ next to Mira-sensei… and Sai's running around."

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Don't give me that look."

"I don't see why it matters."

"Maybe they're making up. Nao-sensei might even be happier. Don't think I forgot that day at the tower when Mira-sensei snapped at him."

"…Mn. That was a long time ago." He had a reminiscent smile on his face and for a while, I let myself reminisce before I remembered that Yusui was alive back then…and maybe if I had acted differently, or done something differently, he'd still be alive today. My guilt drowned me and I stopped smiling.

"Remember the time I made you think you stepped in dog waste?" Itachi chuckled. I elbowed his shoulder and he winced.

"That was _totally_ not fair. Even if it was genjutsu."

"But you never fell for it again. You improved greatly after that incident."

"The whole Uchiha district heard me! I swear I felt it all over my toes!" I looked down and shuddered at the memory. Imagine having warm dog shit squishing between your toes. Disgusting.

Itachi chuckled.

"Have you managed to train with any genjutsu at all since you left?" He asked on a more serious note.

"Well… to be honest, no. I wanted to be as good as you are at them, but sensei focused on other things instead. I mean, I learned some cool jutsu, and my fuuinjutsu got _so_ much better, plus so much more, but we never ventured there. I don't think Jiraiya-sensei really uses genjutsu unless it's his last resort."

"Well then, how about this time you make me think I stepped into something sinister?"

"Um… alright. I'll do my best. Maybe we can train a little before the exams?"

"Perfect."

We walked the rest of the way in silence and when we finally got to the park we saw Mira-sensei and Nao-sensei talking quietly on a bench as Sai, Naruto, and Sasuke played tag. Itachi's older look-alike looked stressed as he clasped his hands between his legs, his back bent over and his elbows on his knees. His long bangs concealed the top half of his face, but I could see the tense straight line of his lips just beneath the tips of his hair. Mira-sensei sat with a decent gap between them, her arms and legs both crossed. Her back was straight as can be, her effort to look put together, but I could see that in the way her brow was set, she was just as distraught as Nao-sensei.

Itachi and I made no moves to hide our chakras and both of the experienced shinobi lifted their heads to look at us. We stopped in front of them and I smiled at Mira-sensei.

"How was this morning," I asked with a hopeful smile.

"A nightmare," she snapped, sending hell and death my way. I almost jumped to hide behind Itachi. That woman is sca- _ry_ when she's mad, man. How many push-ups did she make me, Yusuke, and Yusui do last time we made her mad…? My arms ache just remembering the event.

"How am I supposed to take care of him when I can't leave him alone?" Thankfully, she turned her attention back to Nao. Amen.

Nao-sensei sighed and ran a hand through his hair next to her.

"Mi _ra_ ," he groaned, totally over it, "your job as a caretaker _is_ to be there for him." He lifted his head, a pleading expression on his face.

"Who's going to go on missions and make money for him then? Kids don't just survive on dreams and air. He needs to eat! How would you solve that problem? And I know he's damaged. You think I don't know that, Nao? I know he needs me, but how am I supposed to be a caretaker and a provider at the same time? After what you put me through, you _owe_ me this. Either take care of him while I work or work while I take care of him. I don't have time for this stress, are you in or out? Make your choice."

Awkwaaaaaard… I felt Itachi's discomfort as I stood next to him in stunned silence. Mira-sensei has no chill, seriously. Nao-sensei blushed and his eyes filled with the weight of a difficult decision. Finally, he sighed. Then, of all things, he turned to Itachi and I.

"Itachi… why don't you and Uzumaki-chan go play with the boys?"

AKA: Get the fuck out if here, this isn't your business.

Now I _really_ want to know what happened between our teachers in the past… how interesting.

"Hai." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the kids. We each grabbed a swing to sit in at a swing set and to my surprise, a little pink-haired girl in a navy top ran up to Naruto and tugged on his sleeve with a shy blush on her cheeks.

 _Sakura._ They must have gone to this park so many times in the last year that they eventually ran into her. She still had her bangs covering her forehead so maybe she hasn't met Ino yet…

Purrrrrfeccttt….

I tried to hide my scheming smirk.

You're not going to be a dead weight this time around, Sakura…

"Hey Sakura-chan!" Naruto had the biggest smile, and to my joy, she smiled back at him just as wide. "We have a new friend. Come meet him!"

Sakura's hyper-green eyes widened as she noticed Sai, standing not even a meter away from Sasuke just ahead of her. She gave him a big smile, and both Naruto and Sakura ran up to the boys.

"Hi! My name is Haruno Sakura! What's yours," she asked when she ran up to him. Sai only stood there with a tiny smile.

"He doesn't talk… unlike you." Sasuke retorted, the brat.

To my utter surprise, Sakura put her hands on her hips and gave him a mean glare.

Now _this_ is good. Someone grab me some popcorn!

"No one asked _you_ , Sasuke. You're so mean. I don't even know why the other girls like you so much."

"They're dumb girls, _duh_. And how come you didn't tie back your dumb bangs before coming here? How are you supposed to play capture-and-escape with your hair in your face, huh?" Sasuke immediately jumped into defense-mode, his little shoulders tense. To make his point he reached over and practically smacked her bangs aside.

But guys… here's the best part. You ready for this?

…Wittle Sasu-chan was _blushing_.

No. Fucking. Way.

I think Itachi might have seen my jaw drop because he chuckled next to me.

"How long has this been going on?" I turned an intense gaze on him and he smiled.

"For the better part of the year. I don't think I've ever seen anyone make him so frustrated."

"Yeah…" If only you knew how much Danzo "frustrated" him in cannon, Itachi… if "frustrated" can even be the word used in that situation.

"Well, now that _you_ said it, I don't even want to tie my bags back anymore!" Sakura stuck her tongue out at him and pulled her lower eyelid down.

Sasuke looked shocked, horrified and offended at the same time. He took a huge breath to argue back but Naruto held out a black ribbon between them instead.

"I got you a ribbon for that," he said with a huge grin on his face. Sakura's eyes widened and she grinned back.

"Naruto! Thank you!" She gratefully took the ribbon and smiled at it.

"Where'd you even get that? Yuzu-nee doesn't wear hair ribbons," Sasuke pointed out, a pout on his mouth. Obviously, he wanted to be the one to shock Sakura. What a cute little dope.

"Your mom gave it to me." He crossed his little arms and grinned. "Now we can _all_ play…without tripping."

Little Sakura frowned with a blush on her cheeks.

"I don't wanna remember that." Right at that moment, Naruto looked at me and bolted from his spot. He crashed into my legs as Sakura, Sasuke, and the ever-silent Sai followed him over.

"Yuzu-nee!"

Sakura gasped and then smiled.

"Naruto-kun your big sister is _so_ pretty!"

Well, shit. What do I do now?

Itachi chuckled again and Sakura waved at him.

"Good afternoon, Itachi-nii-chan!"

This pissed Sasuke off.

"He's _not_ your brother!"

Sakura turned and shot him a sharp glare.

"I bet he's not _your_ brother either! You're probably adopted," she snapped.

Sasuke looked appalled and then clenched his little fists at his sides.

"I'm not adopted!"

"How do you know? Where's your cool sharingan, huh?" She smirked now that she knew she had him. "I heard all _real_ Uchiha have the sharingan."

"Sakura-chan, Sasuke is not adopted." Itachi corrected softly. Sakura immediately blushed and then bowed.

"Gomenasai." At least she was polite.

"You should be apologizing to _me_."

She straightened from her bow and turned another glare onto Sasuke.

"You don't deserve it!"

Naruto burst into laughter after he let my legs go.

"You guys are dumb. Ne, Yuzu-nee, could you please put Sakura's new bow on? I don't know how to do it-ttebayo!"

I pointed to myself.

"Me?" Didn't she know how to do it herself?

Sakura blushed as if it would be the greatest honor. Shrugging, I took the ribbon from Naruto's little hand and dropped to a crouch, beckoning Sakura closer. The little girl shyly came forward.

"Last one to the monkey bars is a dog poop licker!" Laughing, Naruto took off towards the swings.

"That's gross! Come on, Sai!" Sasuke grabbed Sai by the sleeve of his new blue shirt— probably courtesy of Mira-sensei— and both boys ran after Naruto.

"N-Naruto told me _so_ much about you!" Sakura squeaked as I fiddled with her bangs.

"Did he now?"

She nodded quietly as I glared at the ribbon. It wasn't as easy to tie as they made it seem in cannon, 'the hell?

Itachi calmly moved from his spot.

"I'm going to go break them up. Come over when you're done," he informed.

"Sure."

The chains of the swing jingled as he vacated it and then left.

"I-is it true that you can shoot a bullseye from fifty meters away?"

"Yeah, about that distance, but I'm sure I'm not the only one."

"I've seen Shisui-nii-chan do it, but… but you're a girl so that makes it so much cooler! Some day, I want to be a super-strong kunoichi like you!"

What in hell has Naruto been saying about me?

"Trust me, I'm definitely not the strongest," I laughed, "Have you heard of the legendary Tsunade of the densetsu-no-sannin?"

Her huge eyes widened as I just managed to tie the knot at the top of her head.

"No," She breathed, and then met my eyes. I grinned at her.

"Well, she's rumored to be the most beautiful kunoichi in all of Konoha. _And_ she's also the strongest. She can take down mountains with just her pinky finger _and_ she's a combat medic, too!"

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. You look like you like to read, Sakura-chan. Is that true?" She blushed and then nodded. "Well, I bet you'd make a great combat medic some day, just like Tsunade-sama."

Plant the seed, Yuzuha. If I could get her to start her training early, imagine how _epic_ she'll be by the time she's sixteen? And maybe, she'll make a difference in the forest of death… if it even happens this time around. I have to protect Sasuke and Naruto and if I could do it through her, then I will.

"You really think so?"

"Of course I do! In fact, next time Naruto goes to the park, I'll make sure he brings a textbook for you, if you're interested, of course."

"I am, I am! … But… I want to be a strong kunoichi too… so I can keep up with Naruto…"

"Don't worry. I have a feeling that that won't be a problem for you. Now go over there and show them that you can make it across those bars faster than they can."

She nodded eagerly, bowed quickly in thanks and took off. She must have met Naruto and Sasuke before she met Ino this time around, probably because Naruto and Sasuke are such close friends this time around. If they didn't have the relationship they have now, they wouldn't be going to the park together so much.

My theory is that Sakura had a crush on Sasuke and when Naruto decided to hang out with her she quickly realized what kind of brat Sasuke is.

This is gold, guys. Gold.

"Will you marry me?" The whisper reached my enhanced hearing and I snapped my head to my left, where Mira-sensei and Nao-sensei were sitting. Sure enough, he was on one knee and held one of Mira-sensei's hands in both of his, her expression the definition of surprise. He had no ring to offer, but I don't think it mattered. She was about ready to break down inside.

Looks like Mira-sensei is going to be a married woman soon… I have a feeling Sai is going to be dangerous by the time he reaches twelve if he's around those two the whole time. She's probably going to teach him how to throw a kunai instead of doing housework.

My idol.

I watched Itachi entertain the kids a little longer and before I knew it, I was walking Naruto home, his hand in mine. He had a little backpack full of his stuff that he insisted on carrying no matter how much I pushed him to give it to me.

"I'm happy that you had a good time at Mikoto-sama's house," I commented as we walked down the emptying market road.

"Can we stay there forever?" He asked. "Mikoto-baa makes great food!"

"I wish we could, Naru."

"If you marry Itachi-nii we can."

I stumbled on nothing and just barely caught my balance.

Say whaaaaaaat?

"Wh-who on earth gave you that idea!?"

"Mikoto-baa," he replied innocently.

"Yeah, well, between you and me, I'm not marrying anyone. Ever. I have to become the strongest kunoichi in the world-ttebane, so I don't have time for that-ttebane!" The verbal tick came back and I had no idea why I was so flustered. I guess the thought of marrying anyone from this world is … jarring. I was fully prepared to marry Tommy in the last life. Replacing his face at the altar's with Itachi's… well, I mean, come on…

Okay okay okay! Older Itachi is like _beyond_ sexy, like out-of-this-world sexy and polite and sweet and would probably be the best most loving husband ever, but _…_ it's Itachi, y'know? It's the Itachi that I hang out with and the Itachi that I scheme with. It's the Itachi that I train with… I just can't see myself ruining his life like that. He was rumored to have a lover in the series. How could I fuck that up for him?

I mean, think about it. I would have to tell him who I really am. I would have to tell him my secret. You can't keep huge secrets like that from your husband, no way. I'd have to come clean otherwise he'd be marrying me based on a huge lie. Like, how awful is that! I doubt he'd want to marry me if he found out how much shit I've manipulated in my favor. He wouldn't want a compulsive liar for a life and he deserves much better than that, anyway.

Yeah, not happening. He deserves someone who will love him, someone honest who has nothing to hide from him.

Not gonna lie, my heart broke a little thinking that. I won't be able to be with anyone in this life… ever. Not that it matters, of course. I have a mission to complete and it'll probably kill me before a "happily ever after" even becomes possible for me.

"Sakura-chan says she wants to get married."

"That's good, I guess." I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"Were mom and dad married like Sasuke's?"

I tripped on literally nothing but my own surprise _again_ , but quickly regained my balance. How do I handle _this_ one? Can't I get a break over here!?

"U-um… they were." Minato and Kushina were married, right? _Right_?

"How come they're not around anymore?"

Aw man… I knew I said I'd tell him if he asked…but…

"Well… it's kind of a long story. It's a little sad, too. Are you sure you want to know right now?"

"Yeah!"

He's like, four… but… whatever.

"Okay… when we get home I'll tell you what happened."

After that he could hardly wait to get into our apartment. I had him brush his teeth, shower and dress for bed in record time before I tucked him in and sat beside him on our shared bed.

"Okay. I think the most important thing to mention is that we don't have the same parents." His blue eyes widened and he took a huge breath to start yelling about one thing or another, but I held my hand up before he could say anything. He let go of the air in his lungs and clutched the sheets with his little fists while I continued the tale.

"My parents weren't all that important, but yours were. Your dad was the fourth hokage and your mom was the last person to keep a cranky fox locked away inside of her. See, it was really hard for her to hold the cranky fox back when she was trying to get you out of her stomach when you were being born, and the fox managed to get away. He happened to be in a really bad mood and ended up hurting your parents really bad. I ran into them right then, and instead of sealing the fox inside you, they decided it would be safer to seal it in me instead. Your mom said she loved you and that she wanted you to grow up to be a strong shinobi. She said to stay away from the three evils, which you'll learn about later, and to keep yourself healthy and clean. Your dad said he loved you too and that he agreed with everything your mom said. He asked me to be your guardian, so I decided that you'd be my little brother from that day on. Jiji agreed to it and here we are… The end."

I blinked at him as he processed the information, blinking at me. How would he react?

"…I can't tell _anyone_?"

"Nope. Not even Sakura-chan or Sasuke. In fact, don't even tell Jiji that you know 'cause I'll get in big trouble. I really wasn't ever supposed to say anything, but you're my little brother and I love you, so you get to know anyway."

He frowned.

"I love you too, Nee-chan… but I'm sad. I want to know them."

I leaned over and hugged him.

"I know… They were probably amongst the greatest heroes in history. But that means that you'll be just as awesome. Remember, Naruto, never _ever_ give up, no matter how hard things get. You can do _anything_ you set your mind to."

I felt him nod and then yawn against my shoulder.

"Okay-ttebayo… 'night."

And he passed out. _God_ I wish I could fall asleep that easily. I yawned as I tucked him back in and went to read an advanced fuuinjutsu book at the kitchen table under the sad, lonely light bulb hanging from its unnecessarily long wire. I unsealed a piece of paper and began scratching down notes.

I started working on a seal that functioned similarly to the one Tsunade and Sakura utilized in cannon. I wanted it to store chakra, but not the way Tsunade or Sakura stored theirs, which I'm assuming they did internally. My seal was going to physically be on my skin while I store the chakra into it. What I needed—and this was for my _ultimate_ end-goal plan— was a seal filled with chakra that, upon activation, can re-fill my chakra reserves once they're empty. It's all going to be external to prevent any, um, _mishaps_ , that might occur. It'll all be clear later, promise.

You would think that all I'd need is a badass storage seal, but no, it's not that simple. It has to be a storage seal with a dimensional pocket that can preserve chakra and keep it in stasis until it's released.

There's a whole bunch of mumbo-jumbo I'm going to have to draw to make it work right before I place it—permanently— on my body and I'm going to have to work fast if I want to have more than enough by the time I intend to use it. What a headache.

Scribbling down some notes on a symbol in the book, I ran a hand through my freshly trimmed side bangs. I didn't give a shit that my part got messed up.

"Good evening, Yuzuha-hime." Byakuya greeted. I was wondering when she'd come out. Yami crawled out from under my haori and hid against my neck, under my hair; it was his favorite spot.

"Hey. I was wondering when you guys would come out. How come you didn't introduce yourselves to Naruto earlier? I really talked you guys up-ttebane!"

Byakuya settled on my palm after I set my pen down. She looked about as bashful as a bat possibly could.

"Well … we didn't want to scare him… he's little…"

"Are you kidding me? Naruto was ecstatic. He thinks you guys hate him now," I grumped.

"A-ah sorry," she frantically apologized.

"Wake him up. Let's say hi," Yami suggested.

"No way, he's sleeping. Tomorrow night you guys are going to introduce yourselves like proper bats. Got me?"

"Hai," they replied in unison, as if I were giving them a mission. God they're so cute!

"I left the window open, so if you're hungry now's the time to eat. Just stay away from the Aburame bugs, if you can. I think you'll be able to tell the difference."

"Of course! We'll return soon, hime," Byakuya assured with a smile in her voice.

"If you need us, just signal," Yami reminded. "We'll be feeling around."

"No problem."

They took off and eventually, I got so absorbed in my work that I jumped when I heard a soft knock on my door. Immediately, I narrowed my concentration on pure instinct. To my surprise, it was Shisui. He felt… drained. I was out of my seat before I could blink twice.

When I opened the door, he was scuffed up, as usual, but grinning… also as usual.

"Yo!" His exclaim was hushed, since it had gotten late, and he let himself in, kicking his shoes off in the genkan and plopping down into Naruto's seat at the table, clearly exhausted.

"I would make us tea, but it's late. I don't want the pot to wake him. Will you settle for water? You look wrecked." I made sure to scold him. Really, the kid doesn't _ever_ care about himself.

"Yeah, water would be nice considering the fact that I sped _all the way here_ to get back as soon as I could." He stuck his tongue out. I bowed low after I shuffled to my refrigerator.

"I apologize, your highness. You _always_ look stunning…even when you're _wrecked_." I smirked and then turned to pull open the fridge, praying that my empty water jug was still in it.

"That's what I _thought_ , my loyal subject," Shisui haughtily replied and I snickered as I pulled out the jug and stuck it in the sink to fill it with water.

"I thought you'd come back later," I commented over the sound of the running faucet.

"Are you upset that I came home sooner? So cruel." He placed a hand over his heart and put a dramatic expression on his face.

"What? Of course not. I was just curious. They discharged you earlier?"

"Yeah, me and three others. We ran into some trouble on the way home, though. I'm hungry; do you have anything to eat?"

I grimaced.

"Maybe… let me look… Don't get your hopes up, though."

I shut off the faucet and crawled up on the counter to look in my one worn cabinet for crackers or something.

"Umm… if you want to eat dust and stale cereal you're in luck 'cause I have plenty of that."

"Ew."

"Well then I'm sorry, princess, you're out of luck." I shut the cabinet door and jumped down from the countertop.

"Wait for me. I'll go to the 24-hour store."

"Alright."

I went back to my book and fifteen minutes later he was back, munching on a sandwich wrapped in paper. I poured him a glass of water and he gulped it down before speaking.

"You left your hair long." He motioned to his own hair, crumbs flailing off his fingers and peppering his dark curls with flecks of white. I reached over to brush them away and he smiled as wide as he politely could with food still in his mouth.

"Only because I didn't get a chance to ask Mikoto-sama to cut it."

He shrugged. "Are you ready for the exam?"

I let out a sigh.

"Yes and no. I have a bad feeling about it…" I really did. I'm pretty good at blocking my anxiety, but every time I actually spared the exam some thought, that ugly anxious feeling returned. It's awful. I keep myself busy to avoid it.

Shisui's expression darkened. It made him seem so much older than he actually was.

"You'll be with Itachi; he'll have your back; Utau too."

"Yeah, that _is_ true. I have faith in them, but I have a feeling Kiri is going to pull a fast one on us."

"You're strong, Yuzu. Besides, you've been training with Jiraiya-sama. I _know_ you have your own brand of sinister things up your sleeve." He winked and I couldn't stop myself from huffing a laugh.

"I guess."

He yawned and the action infected me, causing me to yawn back.

"Stop doing that; I'm not even that tired, yet," I grouched.

"Yeah, nevermind the fact that it's almost two. You should get to sleep, too."

"Tell that to my sleep issues," I retorted.

He reached over and knocked on my forehead three times.

"Hey, you in there, go to bed!"

I batted his hand away.

"Finish your sandwich and I'll sleep when you leave."

He gave me an easy-going shrug. "Okay."

I returned to my book and my water, but I only got to read a page before he finished and crumpled up the paper, tossing it into the empty trashcan in the corner of the kitchen with the skill and aim expected of someone of his rank. He stood out of the chair and stretched, just as Yami and Byakuya returned from their hunt.

"Shisui-san!" Byakuya beamed, to Shisui's surprise.

"Have we met?"

"Of course not. Yuzuha-hime described your chakra… once."

He looked over at me, curious, and I felt my cheeks grow hot. _Thanks_ , Byakuya. I hoped she felt my glare as she settled on his palm.

Yami fluttered to my shoulder.

"Unimpressive," he declared, the little asshole. Shisui winced at the label.

"Ouch. You don't even know me," he defended himself.

"Tch, I know enough to know that you're unworthy of hi—

I clamped a strong finger over his little mouth to cut off his sentence. I knew Yami could sense Shisui's feelings for me and I didn't feel like dealing with the awkwardness it would cause if Yami revealed them. Still, it was cute that he was in protective-knight-of-the-royal-court mode.

"Ouch!" He crunched down on my finger with his fangs, thankfully not drawing blood. The little jerk! I take that happy thought back!

"Interrupting is rude!" He hissed back.

"You didn't have to bite! And what do you expect me to do when you're being mean? Brat!"

"I was defending you, bite me!"

"You know, I just might," I threatened.

Shisui laughed out loud and petted the top of Byakuya's fuzzy head.

"You have a lot to deal with, don't you, Byakuya-hime? I've heard a lot about you too."

"I like him already!" She fluttered upwards and wrapped her wings around Shisui's neck in what I assumed was the bat version of a hug. I can't deal with how cute she is.

Laughing, Shisui petted her again.

"I like you too." After she was finished hogging all of Shisui's attentiom, Byakuya perched on top of my head and Shisui stretched.

"Man, I can't wait to get into bed. I'll see you tomorrow, Yuzu. Goodnight."

"Good _riddance_ ," Yami grouched in response. I flicked his wing as a warning and stretched my arms out. Both bats hovered away from me as Shisui gladly hugged me.

"I'll see you later," I waved. Shisui nodded.

"Goodnight to you too, Byakuya-hime," he said when both bats settled on my shoulders again.

And he disappeared, leaving us all in the kitchen.

"Yuzuha-hime…?"

"Yes Byakuya?"

"Marry him."

"Say _what_? Where on earth did that come from?"

Come _on_ , give me a break!

"He's _perfect_ ," she insisted dreamily. Oh my God… she's in _love_.

"Byakuya… I think _you're_ the one in love with him…"

"I-I u-um… well…" It was the first time I have ever heard her stutter. I smirked sinisterly…

"I can set up a date if you'd like…"

"What! Oh no, Yuzuha-hime! I could never! It would never work!"

"Even if it could, I'd kill him first," Yami insisted and I didn't doubt him.

I chuckled.

"Well, your secret's safe with me. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to sleep."

* * *

I thought I would get to sleep in the next morning.

Yeah, that didn't happen, but it wasn't Naruto that woke me, believe it or not.

I sensed the anbu just as his feet touched down on my kitchen floor. Poor Naruto was drinking a glass of water as quietly as he could when I ripped him out of his chair, tossed him behind me, and unsealed a kunai from my arm warmers that I was grateful I didn't take off the night before, because no intruder is going to harm _my_ little brother.

Of course, before I got a good look at him I had no idea he was just a messenger from Jiji so I was a little excessive… though he didn't take me seriously, tch. I actually felt his amusement.

Naruto—and the cup he was drinking from— hit the wood floor and I re-sealed my kunai just as my kid brother voiced his irritation.

"Oi _nee-chan!_ Why did you—

He stopped mid-sentence when he saw the bird-masked anbu.

"You're requested at the hokage tower." That was it. He was gone.

"Whoa…" Naruto didn't even have time to recover from actually seeing the man, let alone register how cool it really was to see him disappear.

"How come you didn't wake me earlier? You must be starving." I grumbled as I helped him up and dusted off his bum.

"Mikoto-sama says it's nice to not wake people up when they're sleeping unless it's an emergency." He just shrugged and went to clean up his glass and the water on the floor. 'Didn't even bother getting mad that I tossed him aside.

"Yeah, but you need food. Hang on, let me get ready. We'll get you something on the way."

"Okay."

I ditched him and sped towards the bathroom, grabbing clothes from our shared dresser on my way there. In ten minutes flat, I was ready to go, throwing kunai and teleporting to the market with Naruto laughing and clapping on my back the entire way there. Somehow he managed to eat his breakfast while I teleported to the tower, too. I think he's the first person in history to do that; leave it to Naruto.

Anyway, imagine my shock when I saw little Sasuke waiting at the entrance to the tower. His eyes lit up when he saw me and Naruto.

"Yuzu-nee!"

"Eh? What're you doing here?" Naruto asked for me as he slid down my back and greeted Sasuke by bumping fists.

"Nii-san told me to wait here for you guys. C'mon Naruto, it's already lunchtime!"

Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto's sleeve, but I grabbed the blonde's arm before either of them could take off. Sasuke almost tripped before he turned back and looked at me, confused.

"You really think I'm just going to let you guys run off into the street without supervision like whatever?" I glared down at them, but Sasuke proudly crossed his arms.

"You don't have to worry anymore Yuzu-nee. We can fight now."

Naruto grinned up at me. The 24+-year-old within me cringed at the thought of letting them go, but this world was different and Itachi obviously trusted them out here alone, so…

"Alright… just remember, go straight—

"To mom's house, I know, I know! Bye!" After finishing my sentence for me, Sasuke tugged on my sleeve and I found myself waving back at Naruto before the two disappeared into the crowd.

"Red!" A body crashed into me, enveloping me entirely in a hug and I knew _exactly_ who it was.

"Yusuke, " I exclaimed into his jacket and squeezed him back. His excitement bled into my mood and I found myself laughing out of happiness as he pulled me away to look at me.

"You got tall!" He really did. I had to tip my head pretty far to see him.

"And you kind of stayed short." He stuck his tongue out and mussed my hair before I batted his hand away.

"I'm guessing everyone in our class is here to be briefed on the exams?"

"Well yeah, didn't the chunin messenger tell you?"

Chunin? … Now isn't _that_ strange. How come it's always the anbu that come to tell me stuff? Some sort of precaution?

"I got a messenger but no one told me it was about the exams; I just guessed," I replied.

"Well screw 'em. What matters is that you're here. Now come on, when this is over let's get lunch."

And he darted into the building, me in tow.

We arrived like the couple that comes back to the party from the bathroom at the same. Everyone stared and judging by the silence in the room… we were late. Horribly.

Jiji cleared his throat.

"Nice of you to join us, Yuzuha…Yusuke," he glared at him, "it seems your tardiness is rubbing off on others… you should curb it."

"A-ah gomenasai!" He bowed so quickly I swear I heard his back crack. I bowed too.

"Sorry."

Jii-chan waved his hand towards the rest of our class, consisting of Itachi, Utau, Shima, three asshole kids that used to look at me wrong from the elite class and that one shy girl that hung out with Nozomi in the first class I was enrolled in when I started at the academy.

What was her name again? Maia? Mizu? Maka? Gah! I don't remember I'll figure it out later. What is she doing here anyway? She was in the regular class and she still had that doll-like demeanor she had when I last saw her. How did she end up with a group of seasoned killers?

"As you all know," Jii-chan began as Yusuke and I joined our class, " Kirigakure has opened its borders to host this year's chunin exams. Konoha was supposed to host, however, as a show of good will the other villages have decided to accept their offer."

He looked at each of us for a second in silence so his next statement would really resonate with all of us.

"Make everyone fear us."

Holy shit, 'wasn't expecting that. He wasn't kidding, either.

It wasn't "make me proud to be hokage," or "show everyone that Konoha is the best," no.

…Make everyone _fear_ us. Either he really wants the village to reel in clients or he wants to show Kirigakure that we can be just as brutal as they are, if not, their worst nightmare.

"You are all going into a village where brutality is the only language spoken. You will not smile. You will not laugh. You will not breathe a friendly word to each other the entire time you are all there. You will all behave ten times above your rank. I will _not_ have anyone thinking that Konoha is lazy or open for advantage. Understood?"

" _Hai_ ," we chorused. We were so serious I half expected everyone to put their fist over their chest like in Attack on Titan.

God damn it… I'll never find out what's in Eren's basement! I totally forgot about that!

"You are expected to function in teams of three. Team three, and team 6," he looked at the duo of douchebag boys plus what's-her-name, and Itachi's team, "you will function as you always do on any given mission. This week, I want you all to train the hardest you've ever trained before."

"Hai," the six of them replied.

"Team seven." His eyes fell on Yusuke and I and I think we both felt the hole Yusui left behind in that moment. We were missing our team asshole and it bothered me more than I thought it would.

"I am adding Hatari Mitashi to your team for the exam."

I looked over at the kid, standing just to the left of Itachi, all the way at the end of our line. His eyes, brown as the woods, looked annoyed, but he was good at keeping a straight face. His dark hair was slicked back and he wore a neat outfit that majorly featured a pristine white tunic somewhat like what Neji wore in cannon, although his was untucked and held together by some fancy thread woven into a nice pattern on his left shoulder.

Yusuke immediately raised his hand. Jii-chan nodded at him.

"Do we really need three people, hokage-sama?" He knew he was being rude, so his questions was shy, but he still finished confidently.

"If you want to go you better have, and deal with, three people."

Ouch.

"Understood."

"Team seven, get to know each other. Train hard. You will need it the most."

"Understood," both Yusuke and I repeated.

"Now, with the exception of Uchiha and Uzumaki, you may all leave."

"Um," Utau raised her hand, " which Uchiha?"

Jii-chan chuckled.

"Itachi. Now go."

Yusuke placed a hand on my shoulder.

"'Guess lunch is ruined. Come find me after you're done here. I'm going to try not to punch this kid over my miso soup," he snickered. I held back a laugh and gave him a gentle fist to the ribs.

"He might not be all that bad. I'll meet you as soon as I can."

"Yeah, he was kind of a jerk to you in the academy, though…no promises." With a mischievous wink, he left Itachi and I behind.

Jii-chan waited about ten seconds before he started speaking and then he did that thing where he laced his fingers together and pressed his lips against them.

He sighed and shut his eyes, clearly stressed out before he put his arms back down.

"I know you two are smart enough not to trust kirigakure's 'good intentions' and I know neither of you are excited for the exams to the point where you're blinded to the truth and reality of the situation at hand."

We stayed silent.

"This is why I am going to assign you both to an unofficial mission while you participate in the exams. This will not be on record, so it cannot be officially considered to advance your rank, however,I will keep it in mind when assessing your progress in the future."

He looked at us one more time before continuing.

"I want you both to memorize everything; village layout, supplies, the strength of their medical field, etc. I want to know anything and everything down to the way their plants smell in the morning. Is this clear?"

We nodded.

"Good. Be vigilant and be careful. Bring back whatever knowledge you can without looking too suspicious." After a pause he said, "Dismissed."

We both bowed and let ourselves out.

Outside, Itachi nodded his head towards the street, an indication that he wanted me to follow him.

Sorry, Yusuke. Lunch is going to have to wait no matter how hungry I am. 'Shoulda grabbed myself some food from the market with Naruto but I wasn't thinking about myself at the time.

Once we were out of the busy part of Konoha and walking aimlessly to the first not-crowded place we could find, Itachi finally spoke. We were near a lake; the same lake little Sasuke sat at after his clan was murdered.

"You don't have to do anything for this mission if you don't want to," he cautiously trailed off.

I stopped so hard I almost ignited the ground beneath my feet.

" _What_?"

When he stopped, just a few paces in front of me, and then turned around, he was wincing, knowing how much he was offending me.

"Are you aware that this mission is something the black ops would normally take care of?"

"I'm not _stupid_ , I know that." It's why jiji has to keep it off the books. I didn't mean to bite back at him, but I do _not_ like my intelligence questioned. That's the one thing that gets me every time. I work and manipulate too damn hard for my intelligence to be questioned. The lower half of his left eye twitched just minutely and I knew he was irritated with me thinking that he thinks I'm stupid. I gave him an apologetic grimace. I didn't mean what I said.

"You're one of the most intelligent people I know," he argued back calmly and I was dumbstruck. I was a blushing mess.

That is the biggest compliment that could ever be given. Like ever.

Let's get this straight…

Uchiha Itachi. _The_ Uchiha Itachi…just stated… that I, Uzumaki Yuzuha, am one of the smartest people he knows.

Holy. Shit.

I tried to recover but I only ended up crossing my arms, defensively. I do _not_ like being caught off guard. Get yourself together, Yuzuha! I kept my arms crossed because if I dropped them, my body language would make me look like I'm trying not to be embarrassed.

"Thank you," I replied softly. "If that's the case, then you know I know how dangerous it is." I held his dark eyes with a serious gaze.

"Itachi, I'm going to ask you to actually work with me on this mission, because I'm going to do my best on it whether you approve of it or not, got me? I don't want you running off doing things on your own because you want to protect me. It's not gonna happen that way-ttebane!" I clenched a fist near my chest and put my other hand on my hip for emphasis.

He gave me a small smile.

"Why did I think I could change your mind?" He turned back around and kept walking. Glad to finally have his eyes off of me, I quickly fell back into step with him.

"You know I have to meet Yusuke and that guy, right?"

"Of course. I also know you'd rather not go. I can help you avoid the whole outing if you'd like," he said with one of his Itachi-plans-on-being-bad smiles.

I laughed out loud, because he knew me so well.

"Believe me, if I could, I'd follow you off of a cliff right now, but I can't. I _have_ to get to know what's-his-name."

"Hatari Mitashi. You can start by remembering his name, at least." He gave me a small, teasing smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't want to. I miss Yusui. He wasn't the most pleasant person, but he, Yusuke and I were an unstoppable hurricane. It just feels like we're replacing him…ttebane…"

"Mm," he nodded, "but it wouldn't hurt to give him a chance, would it? I heard he was Yusui's top competitor in kenjutsu."

"I guess…"

"Hang in there, Yuzuha." He placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezed and left when I nodded at him. I shook my head as I watched his retreating back.

Shit is about to get crazy. I have no idea how Itachi's original chunin exams went, but I do know that it took Kirigakure a _long ass time_ to open their doors to anyone. I think they finally started to chill out when Mei became Mizukage, or something? The details are fuzzy as hell, but I do know that that didn't happen at this point in time.

Which means that A) something is up, and B) this is new territory. _Everything_ can get totally out of whack from this point on, which can ruin the general flow of events, which could leave me completely blind for the future.

This has to play out just right. Itachi needs to live to become chunin. Then hopefully things will continue the way they're supposed to. It's a good thing jiji specifically told us to poke around for information as covertly as we can, because now I can at least see why the hell the Kiri situation has changed.

The sad thing is, I know that if I do find anything, I'm _not_ going to like it one bit.

* * *

Yessss! Managed to get this out before finals! 'Hope this makes you guys happy!

Please review! I love your opinions!

See ya later Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: -_- really? No.


	16. Can't Catch A Break

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!

Yuzuha got Mira-sensei to adopt Sai, had a reunion with her friends, and was told to prepare for the chunin exams, during which she and Yusuke will have a substitute teammate, Hatari Mitashi. Hiruzen held Yuzuha and Itachi back while the other genin left and gave them an unofficial mission: spy on Kirigakure during the chunin exam.

* * *

|16|

Mitashi turned out to be a cannon-Sasuke-esque type of guy: quiet, kinda cranky but definitely reliable, battle-wise I mean; the kid could really fuck some shit up. He wasn't in the elite class of the Academy for no reason.

He and Yusuke did _not_ get along, though.

At all.

"Why would you do that! Don't you know metal conducts lightning, you iditot!" Mitashi was so pissed I was afraid the afternoon sun would fizzle out.

"We were drilling at full capability! You were supposed to coat your blade in chakra, _stupid_! Or is it that you just can't do that more than once a day!?" Yusuke was waving his arms around. Usually, he was good at controlling his habit of talking with his hands, but now… no.

There was some misunderstanding somewhere. Yusuke coated himself in electricity. Both he and Mitashi were supposed to be attacking me.

Mitashi got too close. I saw the mistake as it was happening. The stray lightning from Yusuke's attack hit him, but so did the huge stick I threw at him in the nick of time, thank God. The stick caught fire as it absorbed Yusuke's lightning, saving Mitashi's life.

Mitashi was still shaking from the shock, and the stick was still burning between them, the wood popping as the smoke rose to the sky.

"Last _I_ heard this was just a simulation!" Mitashi's left fist was clenched and he was blushing. Now, he was embarrassed because he hates me and I saved him.

"Well, who were you hearing, the idiot gods?" Yusuke sneered and threw a hand to the sky to emphasize his point.

"That's it I've _had it_!" Mitashi tossed aside his sword, something Yusui would have cringed at, and adopted a fighting stance. "Fight me! Taijutsu only! I'm going to break your fucking nose, Sarutobi!"

"The only thing that's gonna break today is your _soul_ when I punch it to pieces!" Yusuke slid into his opening stance as well, and my patience finally ran thin.

"Alright, Al _right!_ Stop it! Both of you," I shouted, and even stomped my foot. Too bad I can't make earth quakes with one step like Tsunade. Woulda been a cool effect.

They shut their mouths, but didn't break eye contact or stance, the brats.

"Incase you _both_ forgot, Kiri is a dangerous place and we're going right into it. This kind of fighting and dissonance is going to get us killed. Dead. As in, no longer breathing and moving. I think we all know what that looks like. It is not our job to hold hands and be friends like some girl group! Our job is to go there, passively terrorize the place, and go home, hopefully alive. Hopefully in one piece. When we get back, you can throw as many fists as you want at each other, but until then, we're all going to work like a well-oiled machine. Now shut up, and go through the routine again. I've had it."

There was a pause until Yusuke relaxed and stuck out his hand.

"Truce. For now." He was still glaring, though.

 _Smack_! The brat batted Yusuke's hand away in a sideways high-five!

How fucking rude! I gaped at him, offended for Yusuke.

"Screw you both, demon girl! Listen, when we get into that unholy shitpile of a country, I'm going to fight the way _I_ fight. You two know my techniques and styles. If you both think you're such good shinobi, then you should have no problem following my lead. See you at the gates."

And he turned around and left.

I growled, half-tempted to drag him right back here by his toes if necessary.

Yusuke turned to me and relaxed his fist. He was about to take the hand that Mitashi smacked and drive it right into his face, but out of respect for me he didn't. His expression was apologetic, maybe a little embarrassed too.

"Sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck with a blush. "He makes me really angry."

"Yeah, so the lady at that restaurant says. You know she didn't just ban you and Mitashi, right? She banned me too! I don't even know how she found out we're on the same team. Imagine my surprise when I went in there and she starts yelling at me for no reason!" I crossed my arms. I was still salty about that because she practically tossed me out by my haori.

"I know, I _know_ ," he groaned back apologetically.

"Did you pay her for the soup bowl yet?" Apparently, Mitashi said something to piss Yusuke off and Yusuke threw his soup bowl at him. Someone in town mentioned that Mitashi dodged it and it hit some lady and got all over her hair before falling to the floor and smashing into pieces.

"Yeah, I did. Dad wasn't too happy about that. Anyway, c'mon, let's see what the group is working on. You said they're in field three?"

"Yeah let's get going."

We darted through the wooded area around the field and cut through about five other fields before we got to field three. Field three was a dangerous patch of forest with uneven ground and low luminosity. There were stones and tree roots everywhere and the whole thing looked like it belonged in a horror movie. Not surprising given the fact that it was located right next to the forest of death.

"How did they get permission to use field three, again? I thought this was only for jonin use." Yusuke shuddered at the sound of some bird screeching once we got there.

"I think Fugaku-sama asked jii-chan on Itachi's behalf. Given the situation I think it would be hard to say 'no.'"

"Yeah…ri— _ah!_ "

Yusuke dodged a stray kunai from a fight that had moved right above us.

" _Katon: Gokakyuu no jutsu!_ " Utau, in the heat of battle, cried out her technique.

Why don't you tell the whole world while you're at it, princess? The name of your technique is something you tell yourself to focus on creating it; to envision it in your mind. Yelling it out like that is only going to let your enemy know your next move, but I can't blame her. We all get really into it during training.

Yusuke and I ducked behind a tree and my teammate graciously threw his arm over my neck and shoulders, shielding my head in front of his chest, just in case. The fire slammed against a tree behind us and some of the flames strayed, shooting at the tree trunk we were hiding against. Thankfully, the bark was damp enough and the fire died down to smoke in a matter of seconds.

A jovial laugh filled the silence after that; it was Shima.

"Your aim sucks, Utau!"

"Ugh shut _up!_ I haven't even gotten serious yet!"

Itachi chuckled and I heard— and saw in my mind's eye— his feet thump against one of the thick branches of our tree.

"We have guests that you almost incinerated," he informed.

That was our cue. Yusuke dropped his arm and we made our way up the tree to join our friends.

"Yuzu!" Utau's eyes widened. "Sorry," she apologized with a distraught expression on her face. I waved my hand flippantly.

"No worries. What's up?" Shima shrugged and tossed the white locks of her long ponytail off of her bare shoulder.

Each of Itachi's teammates were sweaty and red-faced. Clearly, they had a productive warm up.

"I suppose practice didn't go well?" Itachi asked us with a raised eyebrow.

"Well… It sucked. Bad." Yusuke revealed. He was still troubled by the whole thing and rightfully so. If we can't work with Mitashi we might be fucked in a situation that calls for teamwork.

"We decided to come here and see what you guys were up to, maybe even join in, if that's okay," I explained.

Shima grinned. "Al _right_! We can do girls vs boys!"

What an archaic concept. Why is there always a gender war? Haven't I proved that I can be just as dangerous as a boy, if not more? I looked at Itachi and Yusuke.

"Yeah but there's only two—

In a flash, Shisui was in front of me, huffing and puffing; the last of the three guys, making it equal.

"Did I really lose you guys?" he wondered out loud. I smirked evilly and shoved him before he could realize that I was there.

"Wh-whoa~ah!" His arms flailed while the others laughed, but he kept himself firmly attached to the tree branch with his chakra, only tipping over slightly before righting himself. I wish I could have seen his face. According to the laughter of the others, it was comical. He turned around with a fierce glare but when he saw me he grinned ear-to-ear.

"You snuck up on me," he accused with a frown. I held a finger up.

"False. You appeared in front of me."

He waved me off.

"Same boat, different crew."

I raised an eyebrow.

"So, boys vs girls?" Utau repeated the question now that everyone was there.

Itachi shrugged. "It makes no difference to me."

"Yeah, I'm cool with whatever," Shisui agreed.

"I think that's boring. We should pick people we don't usually work with on missions," I objected.

"I think so, too," Yusuke seconded my opinion. Shima's grin reached her teal eyes and she pumped her fist in excitement.

"I like it. Who goes with who?"

"Hmmm…" Shisui held his chin in thought until he looked back up at us and slammed his fist on top of his palm once he had an answer to give. "You know what, I don't care. Itachi and Yuzu are on my team. We can work the rest out later," he declared and then threw a heavy arm over my shoulders. I winced audibly, but no one but Shisui laughed. Utau was pissed.

"You _always_ hog Yuzuha all to yourself, Shisui. Change it up for once!" She crossed her arms and her pretty doll-like eyes narrowed to thin, glaring slits. If I was Shisui, I'd be a little nervous.

But of course Shisui was far from that. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Well I'm the oldest and what I say goes. Besides, as jonin I can command you all however I want. Bow down before me." He waved a grand hand across the space in front of his feet and then let go of me to haughtily cross his arms like a douchebag king would. I laughed next to him.

Shima snorted and then cackled.

"He got _you_ , Uta."

"I don't mind working with the ladies." Yusuke winked in an exaggerated manner and Utau rolled her eyes.

"I get Yuzu and Itachi next time around," she declared, "and watch your back Shisui, I'm going to hurt you for that snide attitude."

"Yeah, _if_ you can catch me. Readyset _go!"_

He disappeared right as Utau's eyes widened and I ducked under a punch thrown by Yusuke. Itachi and I made eye contact and when I twirled to avoid a stab of Yusuke's kunai, Itachi grasped my outstretched hand. I made a tiger seal to focus my chakra and in the blink of an eye we were back in training field eight, where I left a teleportation kunai stuck in a tree, just in case Yusuke and I had to make a quick return trip.

Unfortunately, Shisui's location was far from where we were, deep in field three, where it was probably just as perilous as the forest of death.

"He's far isn't he?" Itachi almost groaned when he saw my expression. It was clear that he was already tired and wasn't feeling a fast-paced run to get to our teammate.

"Don't worry. Just hang on and don't let go."

Itachi nodded and I held his hand tightly as I started throwing kunai and teleporting to Shisui's location. He was hiding his chakra as best as possible and though that worked to evade most of our group, he couldn't escape my senses and he knew it. Eventually, we dropped in on him, just as he expected. He was high up on a tree branch and I tossed my kunai at the tree trunk right next to his head. In no more than a second, we traveled several meters and came to a halt next to him.

"Took you guys long enough, where were you?" he asked as I let go of Itachi's hand and pulled my kunai out of the tree. I was proud that I had stuck it in there so deep.

"I wasn't prepared for you to start the fight so quickly," I grouched. "You could have waited."

"They won't wait in Kiri."

He had a point. I just sighed.

"Do we have a strategy?"

"For now, we set and hide a trap. They're at a disadvantage. They can't find us, but we can find them." He turned to me with a smile. "Keep an eye out, Yuzu. How far are they now?"

"They're going in the opposite direction. They have no idea where we went. It's kind of funny." I chuckled to myself.

"Great. Then we have time. Let's go, Itachi."

Itachi nodded and the two Uchiha took off, digging through their pouches for wire, exploding tags, the works.

It was peaceful for the time that they were gone, until I sensed that I was being watched. Automatically, I felt around and found a snake in the tree above me. Of fucking course; I can't catch a break, can I?

Sighing, I fused chakra into three kunai that I unsealed from my arm warmers and shot them upwards. They hit their mark, piercing the snake's brain and body. I felt bad, watching its life fade from its body and finally disappear, but it's kill or be killed. It wouldn't have hesitated to sink its fangs into my neck, that's for sure.

I listened to the sounds of crickets and birds and general silence that I didn't get in my world and smiled. Here, in this world, I have to kill. In order to protect the people I love, I have to do the unthinkable, but to be honest, I don't mind it so long as I get to bask in the unpolluted nature here. Here, I can do something about corruption in government so long as I'm physically strong. Here, I can kill any motherfucker that poses a threat to me or my family. Here, I don't have to worry about having money for food or a place to stay. Worst case scenario if I end up homeless, I can just survive in the woods and it's okay. It isn't illegal, for the most part, anyway.

Of course, there are exceptions to everything. I'm sure shinobi do dirty work for rich people, in fact, I know they do, but just knowing that you have the power to change your situation if need be, like Zabuza did with that old fat mob guy is enough to make it bearable.

Here, if you're oppressed, fuck it, just leave. Get stronger, learn how to defend yourself and survive and that's it. It's as easy as that. You can take your fate into your own hands, not like the last world where everything is regimented and finding a way out required money that you didn't have, where the government just shat all over the people and no one could do anything about it because they had stronger weapons than us and kept us confused and separated.

Well, at least in America that's how it was. There was no real "voice" for the people and all anyone cared about was inequality, which, yes, existed and was very real, but distracted the people from the fucking oligarchy that was beginning to shape the world the way they wanted to.

But I digress. Let's not delve into that anger right now; it disturbs the peace. I took a deep breath of pure air and when I released it my friends were back, Shisui's grin and Itachi's accomplished smirk lifting my dark mood.

"That was quick."

"Too bad you can't see how many traps we laid. I think we outdid ourselves, Itachi, ne?" With a wink, Shisui held out his forearm and Itachi bumped it with his.

"Should we signal them now?" I asked.

"Nah, wait till they get close so they think they actually discovered us. If we alert them now they'll be suspicious."

"True." I leaned against a trunk and shut my eyes, watching Yusuke and Utau stress out. Shima was laughing, though, and keeping their morale high. They were nowhere near giving up. They had doubled back around, but this time, they were going to come close.

"Incoming. I think two minutes and they'll be here. There are some obstacles in their way, though; animals and stuff like that that they have to avoid."

"Alright. Let's stop hiding." And we all relaxed and stopped suppressing our chakra. About two and a half minutes later, they sensed us on their way back and immediately they set course for us.

"They're coming this way. They're spreading out, too."

"They know you know they're there. They probably won't try to do anything sneaky. It's pointless."

"It's go time," I murmured and took out a red bandana.

"What is that for?" Itachi asked. I smirked in response.

"My eyes." And I covered them with the cloth, focusing on the trio. I could see their bodies, their chakras, and feel their emotions. As an information junkie, I loved the feeling of knowing everything that was going on with them. Knowledge is power and here, in this world, that goes very far if you're strong.

Shisui took a defensive stance on my right while Itachi covered my left. Just as they approached from different angles around our little "territory" I heard twine snapping and metal clanging with metal. Of course, Yusuke, being the berserker that he is, set off nearly every trap they laid out, but was more than skilled enough that he avoided most of them. He _did_ get hit with a swinging log, though, and I snickered watching him face plant right into a tree root. Ouch.

Utau, being small, was able to dodge and twirl around every obstacle laid out for her, and Shima seemed to float past all of the traps like a wraith. It looked like she wasn't even trying to avoid anything and wasn't being hit by anything either.

"Did you leave a gap?" I asked them both.

"No. Why?" Shisui replied.

"Because Shima looks like she's just gliding through. She's not dodging anything. She'll be the first one here. Yusuke's busy getting a tree out of his face and Utau is dancing with whatever you guys left for her."

"I don't know. Maybe she's disabling the traps. Watch out when she gets here, though. She's proficient with fire jutsu, as well as water."

" _What_ ," I hissed, surprised. I turned on Shisui and I think he felt my glare through my bandana. He lifted his arms in surrender.

"That's not _fair_! I wanna be fire and water too!" I almost childishly stomped my foot. How the fuck is that fair? I _always_ wanted to learn fire jutsu. _Always_.

He shrugged.

"For someone who doesn't belong to a major clan, she's good."

Growling, I unsealed my fans. I've been working on my wind jutsu.

"I managed to learn wind jutsu," I stated.

"Good to know." Itachi replied.

"Get ready, she's coming."

Within seconds, her chakra permeated the area while she prowled around in the trees. Utau and Yusuke also stopped short around the same distance from us that she did.

"What's going on?" I asked. I could see her chakra, but not the way the landscape looked to them, obviously.

"There's a fog." Itachi stated.

"She's done this before; combining fire and water to make steam."

"Then we're going to make a hurricane."

"Eh?"

"You heard me. Quick, pull up the strongest wind attack you have, Shisui. Itachi, do the same with water, I'll join you guys and spin the whole thing, taking them right to hell with it."

They were both dumbfounded, at least, they _felt_ that way.

"Ne, Yuzu. That's a little cruel don't you think?"

"Nope. And if you know what's good for you you'll give it your all because Yusuke doesn't play games, either."

On cue, we were doused with so much water the forest floor became a river.

"Jump!" They had no idea what was coming next, but I did. The crackle of lightning filled the area almost simultaneously as we jumped up to get as far from the current as possible.

But we still weren't dry. Shisui was on the same wavelength as I was, though, and, making eye contact with Itachi, they spat huge fireballs at the small lake below, which brought enough heat and steam up towards us that we dried out. It was so hot I began to sweat. I would hate to be caught up in that inferno right now.

We landed on a tree branch in unison, but our minor victory ended quickly when we had to dodge a barrage of kunai and shuriken, some of them real, others just illusions. I released a determined growl and Shisui whipped out as many weapons as he could and tossed them all over in response. I let my fans hang loosely from my wrists by their pretty straps while I unsealed some teleportation kunai and threw them in with Shisui's weapons. I prayed that no one would notice the seals etched into them. Meanwhile, Itachi wove through hand signs like a pro and prepared himself for anything.

Utau and Shima pounced on us as soon as we got a moment to steady ourselves on the branches. Utau took Shisui on with a battle cry, Yusuke lunged at Itachi with a short sword and Shima decided to take me on. She felt worried, though, and rightfully so. That last attack depleted most of her chakra, which I expected. Yeah, the clearing below us that she filled with water was small, but come on, she still filled it and that was a feat the Nii-daime would have definitely been proud of, the jerk.

Itachi spat a fireball at Yusuke that both Shisui and I managed to avoid with Utau and Shima still on us like flies on a corpse. Shima armed herself with a naginata that she unsealed and fused with chakra and came at me with a war cry, distancing me from my other two teammates.

Hack. Slash. Clang! My fans with their laser sharp edges blocked her weapon, catching the pole of the naginata between them. My arms shook with the effort of holding her back. I slid the fans up the pole, lifting it further up above both our heads and T-kicked her hip, but she blocked me by bringing her thigh up and changing the trajectory of my foot. Instead, I hit her rock solid abs, and that did almost nothing.

I smirked.

"Not," I grunted, getting ready for my next move, "bad!" With that exclamation, I roared with effort and redirected my arms, and thus my fans, to the side. Since her naginata was caught between my crossed fans, the weapon and her arms flew to the side as well. I was up and out of her range of attack in less than a moment, avoiding her quick follow-up swing. The blade cut into my navy haori, and I was kind of mad about it. Mikoto got me this one, and yes, it was meant to be trained in, but still. It was one of my favorite haoris.

Now I'm _pissed_.

I backflipped off of a parallel branch, hiding my tiger sign behind my fan. I made it look like I was blindly going to lunge at her when I kicked off of the tree trunk with both feet. She assumed she was going to meet me in the middle, but remember, when you _assume_ , you make an _ass_ out of both yo _u_ and _me._ I teleported to the kunai embedded in the tree trunk behind her, pushed off of it before she could register that I disappeared, flew towards her from behind as silently as possible and then wedged my knee into her back, right next to her spine. I could have kneed her directly in the spine and fucked her up, but this isn't for real. We're just training and we do have limits.

With a cry of pain, she flew sideways into a tree, dropped her weapon and fell down, hitting two or three branches on her way to the forest floor. I took her out. When I landed next to her at the same time as her naginata with my fan at the back of her neck, she weakly raised her hands in surrender with a groan.

She turned her head to the side and said, "You got me, Yuzu-chan."

I shot her a triumphant grin.

"Now I'm going to go get your teammates."

And I took off. I decided to help Itachi first. Shisui was holding his ground with Utau. In fact, he was amused with the anger Utau was fighting with.

"Why," she cried out, "can't," then threw a fist at him, "I," and another, "hit," and finally she roared, " _you_!" She tried to roundhouse him but he stepped to the side and she ended up hitting a tree trunk with her shin.

Ouch. Oh well. I pulled off my bandana and resealed it as I shot towards my best friend.

Itachi was busy parrying Yusuke's kunai with his own. Their fight was like Edward Scissorhands vs. Erza Scarlet: terrifying. They were like lasers, each missing the other by just a tiny fraction. They had tears in their clothes, but I neither smelled nor saw any blood.

I decided to give Yusuke some more to focus on. I unsealed four kunai and flung them at him. He heard them right before it was too late. They sailed between himself and Itachi and he was forced to backhand spring into a somersault onto the branch of the tree behind him. He wasn't safe there just yet, though and he knew it. Before he could even steady himself, Itachi and I were just inches away from him, ready to strike.

I sensed the flare of his chakra just in time.

"Fall back!" I ordered, and Itachi complied. We both pushed off the branch and sailed backwards, just as lightning cloaked Yusuke's skin, singing his clothes a little.

I didn't get to breathe a sigh of relief just yet, though.

Yusuke got serious now that he was, essentially, a cornered animal. With a roar, his clothes started to flap around in a wind he created. He crouched low as Itachi began to close the distance once again between them. I had no choice but to follow his lead. I had no idea what he had planned, but it better not involve fire. Wind+fire=big fire, which = _PAIN._

He whipped out two kunai and I just caught the silvery shimmer of ninja wire within a thin column of sunlight before he threw them at him. Then, when those were busy sailing at him, he threw two more, and finally a shuriken. Everything happened so fast I barely had time to prepare myself for the gust of wind that was surely going to hit me and cut my skin.

Bracing myself, I smirked, because I sensed Shisui on his way; he had finally dealt with Utau. In a flash, he was behind Yusuke, a handful of leaves in his hand. Right as all of Itachi's weapons hit the tree trunk—somehow avoiding Shisui and tying Yusuke to the tree— Shisui stuffed all the leaves in his hand right into Yusuke's face, causing him to sputter and lose concentration. The terrifying wind that was building dissipated as my teammate struggled against his bindings, tossing his head back and forth to shake the leaves out of his messy brown hair and straight nose.

"H- _hey_!"

Now that he was thrown completely off, it was my turn. I lunged, placed my forearm firmly on his throat and placed my fan right beneath it. I smirked up into his handsome face.

"You lose." I stuck my tongue out.

"No fair! That was some genin-level BS, Shisui!" Yusuke turned his head and glared.

Said Uchiha snickered.

"Yeah well, if some of the world's most dangerous ninja play dumb tricks like that then you're in trouble. Next time don't lose focus. That could have been your death."

"Yeah well, we're training, y'know," he grumbled. "Now set me down!"

I laughed at him.

"I wish I had a camera."

He rolled his eyes.

"C'mon. Let's go peel Shima off the ground," I suggested.

"And free Utau from the tree she's stuck in," Shisui pitched in with a wink and a mischievous grin.

Jovially, we collected our weapons and downed friends from their predicaments and then went into town for some food. Of course, we ended up having ramen and I ended up going back to the Uchiha manor with my two closest friends after dropping Yusuke, Shima and Utau off at their houses. By the time that was done it was late, seeing that Yusuke's dad took us all in for cookies and milk. Turns out the guy really likes baking. Who woulda thought?

I _begged_ Mikoto for a haircut when I got back.

 _Begged_.

Sasuke and Naruto watched in fascination as she sheared my hair back to its preferred chin length and pretty soon after that I was bathing in a luxurious tub, one that I hadn't seen the likes of since earlier in my journey with Jiraiya. We ended up conning our way into some pretty swanky hotels; management will do _anything_ to shut a kid up and keep the peace, hah.

When I was all cleaned and dressed in a plain, navy kimono that used to be Mikoto's, I met the boys downstairs. 'Turned out that Fugaku came home early and I gladly sat down to play shogi with him in the family room.

"Are you prepared?" He wasn't just asking me; he was asking Itachi next to me, who was gently petting Sasuke's hair as he slept in his lap. Shisui was on my left, almost snoring against the wall with Naruto. I can't blame him, seeing that Naruto's hair was soft enough to compete with the silkiest of furs.

"We are as prepared as we will ever be, Otou-sama." Itachi was still professional with his father, though their relationship improved over the last several years. Taking the pressure off of the Uchiha worked wonders on Fugaku. He had a growing affection for Konoha and now that there was a pseudo-council made up of clan heads to voice their opinions to the hokage, he had a louder voice for his people.

"Mm. I guess so. Even so, don't hesitate, because they won't."

Shisui and I snorted, laughing at the fact that he had said almost the exact same thing Shisui had said to Yusuke earlier.

"What's so funny?" Fugaku moved his knight, putting the heat on my bishop. I backed my piece up with a silver general, pressing back on his strategy.

"Shisui said almost the exact same thing to Yusuke earlier today." I explained.

"Ah, I see. That boy is certainly… tenacious." He rubbed his chin, wondering which move he'd make next. Would he promote his general or drop the lance he took from me earlier? He dropped the Lance to scare my pawns. Tch. "However, the Sarutobi clan is notorious for its well-rounded shinobi. I have no doubts that you have a skilled comrade at your side."

I was too busy chewing on my lip and deciding on what to do to respond. In the end, I ignored my pawn and dropped one of his that I had taken earlier, right in front of his knight.

Take that-ttebane!

Shisui groaned, frustrated. "This is _so_ boring."

Fugaku waved his hand at him.

"Go eat something."

Shisui pouted.

"Hey I do more than just eat, you know!"

"Yes, you sleep too."

Comical tears streamed down Shisui's cheeks as he made eye contact with Itachi.

"'Itachiii! Tell him I'm awesome! Tell him!"

I looked over and saw Itachi roll his eyes. Shisui sniffled and turned watery, dark eyes on me, begging me to defend him.

"Oh _no._ We are not doing 'the face' right now. I'm in the middle of a game!" I pointed an open palm to the board in front of me. Fugaku chuckled. Shisui clasped his hands together, silently begging harder. I too, rolled my eyes.

"Fine. Shisui is the greatest sensei of all time and if he didn't exist Konoha and the entirety of fire country would be in ruins. Happy?" He was grinning from ear to ear.

" _See_." He could have been sticking his tongue out with how smug he sounded. Fugaku chuckled and our game continued until I got so tired I intentionally slipped up and let him win. He kind of glared at me when we shook hands after that. I'm pretty sure he knew what I did, but he let it slide.

"Yuzuha-chan." I looked over at Mikoto, standing in the doorway to the family room as Itachi placed the shogi board away in the spot it's been in since I first came to the house. Fugaku was busy cradling Sasuke in his arms with a warm smile on his face, and Naruto—ever energetic— was just waking up in Shisui's arms.

"Nii-chan?" His groggy tone was ignored as all eyes focused on Mikoto. She seemed calm and confident in the spotlight.

"Yes, Mikoto-sama?"

"It would be wonderful if you could stay here for the night." It wasn't a wish. She was giving me a choice.

"Yeah, let's stay here, nee-chan. I don't wanna get up early tomorrow," Naruto tried to convince me.

"You won't be much of a shinobi if you can't wake up when you need to, Naru," Shisui teased. Immediately, my little brother snapped to attention, eyes wide and fully awake.

"I-I can wake up whenever!" He clenched his little fist as he made his declaration. I smiled at him. It _would_ cut out a whole trip here for me…plus I don't want to deal with another sleepless night with "fluffy," especially since Utau hasn't replaced him yet, the brat. I had to sow the damn thing up and it was so flat I may as well have been sleeping on a napkin. I shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" The Uchiha were heroes now anyway and as far as I knew, the villagers wouldn't find me staying with them suspicious. It couldn't hurt _too_ much.

You should have seen the shimmer in her eyes as she smiled and clasped her hands together. There was a warmth that enveloped the room, and I realized that it wasn't only coming from Mikoto, but Fugaku as well. I guess seeing his wife happy made him happy. I whirled around to face the clan head with a grin.

" _If_ it's okay with Fugaku-sama of course," I added. He waved me off as if to shoo me out of the room.

"Al _right_! So we're having a sleepover!?" Naruto was ecstatic. "I get to stay with Shisui-nii!" Just then Sasuke groaned and stirred in his father's arms.

"Mmrphm… what's going on? Why's it so loud… tou-sama?" He looked up at Fugaku, and the man smiled down at his youngest son.

"Hah, you're _late_ and I'm an awesome ninja 'cause I can wake up really fast, bleeeeh!" Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasuke who shot him a bleary-eyed glare so fierce you'd think he awakened his sharingan.

"Yeah well you're—

Fugaku placed a palm on Sasuke's head and ruffled his hair.

"That's enough arguing, you two. Sasuke, you know better than to get riled up."

He blushed deeply.

"Sorry…"

"Nevermind all that. Let's get you all to bed." Mikoto gave everyone a dazzling smile and took us to a room not far from the family room we were just in, which she had already prepared with a bunch of bedrolls laid out on the shiny wooden floor. There was one for each of us and they all smelled fresh and clean, like everything else in her home.

"You all settle in while I make tea."

As soon as she left—

"I get the bed next to Shisui-nii!"

Shisui chuckled as he set Naruto down on the floor.

"Don't you want to spend the night with your sister, Naruto? She's going to be gone for a while again…"

He pouted.

"…You'll be here, right, nii-chan?" Naruto looked up at him with a watery-eyed expression that just about broke Shisui's heart. He grinned and ruffled his hair.

"Actually yeah. I'm on leave for a while, so I'll be here. You go sleep next to your sister tonight."

Suddenly a bright idea struck my little brother and he grinned widely.

"Wait! Why don't we all just sleep next to each other!"

Um…

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I think I turned red, because my face felt hot. It was awful; I hate that feeling. Shisui couldn't bring himself to say anything and the awkwardness coming from Itachi leaked into me. 'The hell, Naru!? You can't suggest stuff like _that_. It's _really_ intimate! How do I even explain that to h—

"That's dumb. Mom says that only married people sleep next to each other," Sasuke _mercifully_ broke the tension. I could have kissed him. Naruto crossed his arms with as much energy as he could muster. He puffed out his little chest, ready for a fight if need be.

"No, _you're_ dumb. Sakura-chan said that married people sleep next to each other _alone_ ," he waved his arm around the room, indicating Sasuke and Itachi, "This isn't alone."

You gotta admit, that was a good point. Sasuke rolled his eyes and crossed his arms back at Naruto.

"Ugh, Sakura-chan _this_ , Sakura-chan _that_. Whose side are you on, huh," he accused. Naruto looked flabbergasted.

"U-ugh w-what do ya _mean-_ ttebayo! I'm on your side, but she's right, isn't she, Itachi-nii?" Naruto looked over at Itachi, the only person who could win over Sasuke's already-made-up mind. He was smiling softly.

"Sakura-chan is right, Sasuke. Married people sleep next to each other alone."

"Tch. I don't care anymore. I'm sleeping with nii-san anyway." And with an attitude, Sasuke tossed himself into a bedroll, assuming Itachi would just magically appear then when he woke up.

Huh. What a personality.

"Then I'm staying with nee-chan." Naruto hugged my legs. "Which bedroll is yours?" He asked me. I smiled and ruffled his messy hair.

"Why don't you pick it? I'm going to stay up a little bit and have some tea before bed, 'kay?"

"Mmn!" He nodded and scampered off into a bed, not bothering to change into his pajamas. Just then, Mikoto quietly slid open the door to the room, and motioned for us to come over to it. She set the large wooden tray down next to the doorway. We all grabbed some cushions that were neatly tucked away in a corner and settled them around the tray.

"Well then, I'll see you all in the morning. Itachi-kun, you know where the kitchen sink is, don't you?" She winked at the joke and Itachi nodded and smiled.

"Goodnight." She waved.

"Goodnight!" We all whispered back in unison and watched her disappear behind the door, sliding it shut with a practiced, near-silent click.

I took the liberty of pouring tea into the little cups on the tray. For a few moments we just watched the steam rise from the tea. It was still too hot to drink, unfortunately. It smelled amazing, like jasmine if I'm correct. Uncle Iroh's favorite.

"I wish I could go with you guys…" Shisui grimaced. Itachi shrugged.

"It can't be helped. We'll do fine."

"I can't remember you ever talking about your chunin exams," I stated.

"…I didn't have any." He replied.

…Oh. It must have been a field promotion and by the look in his eyes he wanted to leave it at that… Poor kid.

"We will be fine," Itachi insisted with a small smirk, "We had you to teach us, didn't we?"

"He's right," I reassured him. "Unless you've been going easy on us," I warned and pinned him with a meaningful glare. Nervous, he lifted his hands in surrender.

"I wouldn't dream of it. Not after that one time. No way."

I grinned as I saw him rub his cheek in nostalgia. He held back with me _once_ and I took the opening he left so fast he didn't see my fist coming. That bruise lasted two weeks and he had to get examined by a medic to make sure I didn't fracture his cheekbone.

"Good, glad you remember-ttebane." I winked.

Itachi finally picked up his cup and took a sip. Shisui and I took that as the go-ahead to drink from our own cups. After he took his first sip, Shisui turned serious.

"Now listen, Kiri is mostly a huge, damp forest. Like squishy-wet damp. I want to think that their village will be the same, so be prepared for mud and slippery surfaces behind their walls. You've fought a lot of their shinobi, so you know a lot of them like to use water-style ninjutsu. They almost always use a mist-cover, so make sure to constantly communicate, Yuzu. Don't try to take everyone on by yourself. That goes for you too, Itachi. You guys are the same, I swear."

"Hey, I—

He held a finger to silence my rebuttal. I glared at him, but let him finish.

"Their kage is someone by the name of 'Yagura.'"

Oh. Shit. _That_ caught my interest. What did Shisui know of him? Itachi was achingly curious as well. Every fiber of his chakra wanted to know more and I couldn't disagree with him.

"As far as I know, the guy either summons a tailed beast, or is a jinchuriki. I'm sure you'll be able to pick him out as soon as you get there," he made eye contact with me specifically and the continued, "There is a chance that they might know that Konoha's jinchuriki is in your age group., so try to avoid the guy's attention as best as you can."

Both Itach and I let that sink in for a moment. When we looked at each other, we had an understanding: _Do not under any circumstances indicate in any way that you harbor the kyuubi._

"I think it's a bit of a long shot to think that they'd set up a whole chunin exam to weed out a jinchuriki, but you should be very careful to prevent anyone from finding you out anyway."

"I'll have to outdo myself if they have skilled sensors amongst their ranks," I commented.

"There has to be at least one," Itachi agreed.

"Tamper down that core chakra as much as you can. Did you say you made a seal that can cover your chakra up or something?"

"The seal can _distort_ what other sensors feel. It can't cover anything up completely, but it'll make my chakra feel erratic to them. They'll never be able to tell what's going on with me for sure. They'll probably think I casted a genjutsu on myself, a really _good_ genjutsu."

"Perfect," Shisui grinned. "Anyway, that's all I have to disclose. What should we do when you guys get back?" He was back to the old, jovial Shisui that we were used to.

"We should go to the beach," Itachi suggested. Shisui gave a short laugh.

"I wish. Actually, wait. Yuzu, you think you can talk Hoagke-sama into giving us a vacation or something?"

I shot him an unamused look.

"I'm not a miracle-worker, Shisui. There's no way he'll cut us all a break at the same time just because of our success." Although… if Itachi and I bring him back hordes of information, he just might reward us that handsomely… I sipped on my tea, wondering how that conversation would go, not realizing that my friends were asking me a question until Itachi poked my forehead. I shook my head, bouncing back into reality.

"Um… what?"

Shisui rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for coming back down from the moon, princess, how was your trip?"

"Wonderful _thanks_." I glared.

"At least Yuzuha-hime _is_ a princess, fool."

Ah, Yami and Byakuya finally woke up. They crawled out of the wide sleeves of Mikoto's old kimono. Yami fluttered to my shoulder and snuggled up to my neck and Byakuya did the same with Shisui.

"Good evening Itachi-san." She greeted.

"Ah, Itachi-san. It is a pleasure." Yami agreed. He liked Itachi _way_ more than he did Shisui. Why? I don't know.

"Good evening Byakuya-hime. How have you been, Yami-sama?" Itachi was _always_ polite to _both_ Byakuya and Yami. Always. It's adorable.

Byakuya giggled at something Shisui whispered so quietly only she could hear him. He chuckled along with her and I felt Yami's irritation. He sharply turned his little head to Shisui and the Uchiha stiffened up as if he were caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Something funny, peasant?" If Yami was a cat he'd be hissing.

I could _feel_ the imminent retort at the tip of Shisui's tongue, but he held it back. Instead, challenge smoldered in his dark eyes. When his eyes met mine, they were mischievous. I already knew what he wanted to say.

 _Just your face._

But that would start an unnecessary fight. We don't want that.

"I've been well, Itachi-san. It will be a pleasure to work with you in the near future. We depart for the enemy nation tomorrow, correct?"

"That's right," I confirmed. "You ready to beat some people up?" Yami chuckled at the grin in my tone.

"I'm ready to see them _fall_." AKA he's ready to see my enemies die at my feet. Heartwarming, really.

Shisui sipped his tea with an intentional air of haughtiness, with his pinky up and everything.

"Oh if only everyone was as regal and poised as you, Byakuya-hime," Shisui trailed off and I felt Yami's anger spiking through the freakin' roof.

Shots. Fired.

"And what exactly do you mean by that, Filth-san?"

Ooh, ouch.

Shisui was irritated but he petted Byakuya's head lovingly, not breaking his I'm-better-than-you character.

"Oh? I didn't think you'd need an explanation; I guess I overestimated your intelligence. I meant that you are barbaric compared to the lovely Byakuya-hime here."

Alright, I've had enough. Shisui's on his game, but I'm not about to let this fight perpetuate.

"Look, you guys should just duke it out or something. Can we all just agree that you hate each other? As entertaining as it is to see you guys dis each other, I just want to enjoy my tea-ttebane."

"Tch. Another day, peasant," Yami conceded after a short pause.

"Anytime you're ready, snob."

I rolled my eyes as Itachi cleared his throat and then sipped his tea. The silence was awkward, until Byakuya broke it.

"Should you need us, hime, we will understand if you must wake us during the day. We are prepared," Byakuya mentioned politely.

"I know. I really appreciate it-ttebane. It's good to know I have you guys to count on too."

"Mn. Would you be willing to work with crows?" Itachi asked.

I _felt_ Yami's distaste, but this was Itachi, so he would suck it up.

"I'm sure we can… _accommodate_ them should the need arise," he professionally responded, and then flew over to sit on itachi's head, pulling a few strands of his hair free from his pony tail.

"Hey, Izumi isn't participating, is she?" Shisui randomly wondered.

I shook my head.

"Her team wasn't ready, according to Utau," I replied. "They opted out, even though she wanted to go."

"She's upset," Itachi informed and I could see he was concerned for her. I hung out with her sometimes, but never as much as Itachi did. They seemed to have some sort of, I don't know, symbiosis or something. She brought him dang a lot. Maybe she was his secret girlfriend in cannon?

"To be honest it's probably better that she doesn't go this time around," Shisui murmured and I couldn't help but agree. I had sparred with her once. _Once_. I broke a sweat, don't get me wrong, but… I don't know… I can't explain it. She's just not Shisui or Itachi, or Yusuke. She's not weak, but I guess the four of us are just freaks.

Which I'm totally fine with, by the way. Anyway, this whole Kiri thing is suspicious and the last thing I want is for her to get herself maimed or killed over a stupid promotion, _especially_ if she likes Itachi the way I think she does.

Speaking of Izumi, Utau's a total asshole. She _loved_ the fact that she was a notch above her during training. The less competition for Itachi's hand in marriage the better, right? She seemed hell-bent on the idea that his parents would arrange for him to marry to most capable Uchiha female, but I have a feeling that Mikoto's going to put her foot down and let her son marry whoever the hell he wants and if that person isn't Utau, then that sucks for her. Tough titties. I shook my head to myself. Drama drama dramaaaaa.

"What are you thinking?" Itachi asked the question before Shisui did. I shrugged.

"Nothing important, trust me." I waved off his concern.

Eventually we finished our tea and I crawled into bed as Itachi took care of delivering the used cups and teapot to the kitchen. By the time he came back I was all snuggled up with Naruto snoring against my chest. I don't know how I fell asleep with how loud he was. I guess it was just the comfortable environment; the fact that I'm safe around two of cannon's most capable badasses, but either way morning eventually snuck up on us. I showered, dressed, ate and said goodbye to the kids. With a few last hugs from Shisui, Fugaku, Mikoto and the boys, Itachi and I set off towards the village gates with our backpacks full of supplies; not like I needed one, but still. Better to be over-prepared than under-prepared, right?

As expected, we were the first ones at the gate and we both leaned against one of the large, red pillars after greeting the gate guards. It was still early morning; just after sunrise, and it was nice watching the world wake up.

"I hate rainy places-ttebane," I murmured to fill the silence.

"That's Amegakure you're thinking of," Itachi corrected.

"Yeah, but Kirigakure seems like a dismal place anyway. I heard the sky's always grey there."

"Mn. It's better than Sunagakure, though, don't you think?"

"I _guess_. I don't know what's worse; no sun or no water?"

Itachi chuckled. "That answer is easy."

"Yeah, no sun, definitely," I joked.

"Mn, without any shadows you can get the perfect tan," he joked back.

"And then I can _finally_ be the up-and-coming super model I've always wanted to be."

We chuckled together just as Utau and Shima strode up the road to greet us.

"'Morning!" Shima greeted. It seems like she's _never_ out of refreshing energy.

"Mrphm." Utau raised her hand in hello and said nothing more as she sat down next to my feet, leaned her head back against the pillar and fell right asleep.

" _What's up with her?"_ I mouthed to Shima. The white-haired girl shook her head.

" _Couldn't sleep last night."_

" _Oh_."

Respectfully, we remained quiet, until Mitashi joined us.

…And we continued staying quiet. He didn't utter a word to us so we said absolutely nothing to him. When the blonde girl and her douchebag entourage showed up, they waved and remained silent, picking up on the vibes in the air.

Yusuke, of course, gave no fucks.

"Heeeey! Guys!" He ran up to us, waving. I felt pure evil rolling off of Utau's presence. Yusuke threw an arm around my shoulders.

"Yo, Red!"

"Yusuke, shhh…" I whispered and then pointed to Utau, glaring through closed eyes at the area in front of her. Yusuke made an "o" with his full lips and blushed.

"Oops…" He released me and bumped forearms with Itachi. Both boys exchanged a smile. Yusuke tipped his head towards the douche-disciples and my ex-bullies' friend. Eh, who cares if they don't like me? So long as they have Yusuke's back we're square. My bad history with them doesn't matter.

What's-her-name came up to me just then and cleared her throat. When I raised a brow, she bowed low.

"I apologize."

Well that's a surprise.

"You never said anything, though." And it was true. Nozomi got in my face, but this girl never uttered a good or bad word to me. So what's the apology for?

"That's precisely why I should apologize. It was wrong of me to let Nozomi and Aya treat you like that. Can we be friends?" The serious look on her face softened for a moment. She was being a hundred percent honest.

"Sure," I smiled and stuck out my hand, "Uzumaki Yuzuha. Pleased to meet you."

A smile spread across her features as she grasped my hand and shook it once.

"Eisei Manna." Ah, that's her name.

One of her douchey teammates rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in disapproval. He wore a dark red tunic the color of blood with a long, dark-sleeved shirt beneath it. His brown eyes were judgmental as he stared Manna down.

"I don't get it, Manna. You know that demon is a criminal, right?"

Manna looked disheartened as she stood there and thought of a neutral response. How could she talk back to her teammate? They needed to work together.

Utau stood up so fast you would think she was possessed by something. She took a deep breath to screech at the boy, but Yusuke put his arm in front of her.

"You shouldn't talk about things you know nothing about," he warned, but the boy only smirked.

"Says you, Sarutobi. Say, there's a rumor going around that demon girl sucks your dick. I wonder if it's true?" Clearly he was egging Yusuke on. As for whether or not there was _actually_ a rumor like that? Who knows. Either way, Yusuke's face turned red with anger.

"Do you get enjoyment out of disrespecting women?" Itachi calmly asked. He had not moved from his position. His arms were crossed and he was relaxed as he continued to lean against the pillar, one foot casually resting against it. I knew better though; his body was _too_ relaxed. It was just something he naturally did before a fight. Every muscle and joint was loosened just enough to move with deadly fluidity and grace in the moments to come. It scared me a little every time I saw it happen. His voice was even scarier though. To everyone else, his tone had no emotion, but to me, being so used to him, I heard the subtle danger in it. I heard that little inflection that translated to, "Say the wrong thing. Give me a reason to kill you."

"If you can call _that_ a woman."

That's fucking it. Itachi pushed off of the pillar and planted both feet on the road, but I wasn't about to let him fight my battles for me and get in trouble in the process. I don't need anyone thinking negatively of the Uchiha heir. I spoke before Itachi could even think to open his mouth.

"Maybe when you shaved your head you shaved off some of your brain cells, too. Are you really _that_ dumb? I don't care what your opinion is of me, but you have to get it into your nearly-bald skull that _we. Are. Going. To. Enemy. Territory._ Has that not registered in your mind yet? You've had a _week_ to let that sink in. A _week_. Ask yourself if this pettiness is worth it. Now I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm sick and tired of not having faith in our group. All of us need to be confident in each other and confident that should something go wrong we _stick together_ because at the end of the day, when a horde of Kiri shinobi are coming at _my_ throat I'd like to be assured that an even more powerful Konoha force is at my back. You can spit at me all you want when we're here, but remember that out there, I may be your only hope at some point so get used to being civil with me. Got it?" Drop mic.

 _That_ shut him up. His friend, taller than him by half an inch, with longer, shaggy blonde hair and orange eyes placed a gloved hand on his shoulder. I remember that kid trying to get away with pulling my hair once. I hope he remembers that crack his elbow made when I nearly popped it out of its socket. He met my gaze with a neutral expression on his face.

"Ignore him. I think we should all start over." I guess douchebag#2 isn't so much of a douchebag anymore, huh?

"My name is Mikari Keitaro. This jackass is Sanada Rii." Keitaro shot me a mischievous smile and winked. "Sorry about that time with your hair. I never got to make amends."

"Tch. Whatever. You're all insane," Rii huffed and went to stand next to Mitashi, re-tying his headband in a bandana-esque way around his forehead.

"Right, well, as long as you remember the sound your elbow made for the rest of your life we're square." I smirked at him and he shook his head.

"That was gross," he replied with a chuckle. I laughed back and we continued to wait for our jounin escort. After all, we're all genin and in no condition to lead ourselves there, of course.

Only a few minutes passed until our leader arrived. The man was tall and broad with wild orange hair and equally wild orange eyes. His presence beamed like the fire he looked like. He wore a regular jounin outfit with a red bandana pinned to the chest of his green vest. When he stopped in front of us he smirked in excitement, like Shisui usually did before he was about to jump into some activity of some sort.

"Alright kiddos! Let's get moving. We have a lot of ground to cover. One-two! One-two!"

And he shot off into the woods. We all kind of stared after him, baffled at his easy-going attitude, especially at his age in this field. What is he, like my age? Twenty-four? Twenty-five?

Shima burst into laughter.

"I like him already. Last one to catch him is crusty!" With a wave she darted into the woods, but not before we almost immediately caught up with her. No one wanted to fall behind, crusty or not. On our way to the border, Orange introduced himself and told us to call him "taicho". His real name was Michiru, but we have to look like badasses and calling our leader "Michiru-sensei" is going to make us look like a bunch of pansies.

The journey there was silent once we left the safety of the fire country border. None of us dared to speak amiably or familiarly with each other. We stopped to set up camp once, during which Utau used an earth jutsu to make us benches around a campfire. Manna, Yusuke and Mitashi were on watch with Michiru-sensei and the rest of us silently chewed on nutrition bars that tasted like cardboard.

I felt eyes on me and when I looked up, Itachi was staring at me, Sharingan activated. The three tomoe spun lazily around his pupil before I felt the tingling sensation of a genjutsu taking hold. Knowing it was him, I let my defenses down. Before I knew it, I was hearing nothing but his voice while I stared at the fire.

" _This will be our way of communicating from here on. Nod your head if you understand."_ And his voice faded, replaced by the sounds of the forest and teeth quietly crunching on nuts and granola.

I nodded slightly and Itachi smiled. Again, that same sensation washed over me and I let it take hold.

" _Good. Can you try to do the same?"_

I frowned at him. Is he serious? I can't pull off something that complicated; genjutsu just isn't my thing. I can do little bullshit genjutsu, like make things look like other things, not full-blown sensation manipulation like he can.

 _I can try_. I mouthed the words to him across the campfire. He nodded. I made a tiger sign behind the nutrition bar I was still working on and focused my chakra. I tried sending it outwards to him, but it just wouldn't happen over such a distance. I tried and tried and tried and he eventually chuckled and shook his head. Again, his genjutsu took hold of me.

" _Never mind. We have to work on that when we get back. Until then this will have to do."_

I nodded at him again and his sharingan faded to the usual onyx of his eyes. He returned to his dismal food and that was the end of our conversation. I couldn't help but feel like that was a predecessor to the tsukuyomi.

If his genjutsu is this good now...imagine how epic it would be if he awakened his mangekyou this time around. Which I hope he doesn't, to be honest. I wouldn't want him to experience anything traumatic enough to push him to that point. In fact, it's my duty to prevent that from occurring. I exist here to make these people's lives better, especially Itachi's. He _is_ my favorite character, after all.

Eventually, we made it to Kirigakure. I knew we were in their territory before we were notified because of the thick mist hanging in the air. Like Shisui said, the forest floor was damp, and I had to coat the bottom of my feet with chakra to keep them from making squishing sounds. Of course, the stealth wasn't necessary considering that we were expected there, but it bothered me that I was making that much noise in a place I shouldn't typically be making noise in. It felt like I was laughing hysterically at a Catholic church during mass; odd and looked down upon.

The bird calls were different in the area, as were the flowers and mushrooms that grew amongst the trees. I had never been this close to Kirigakure before and to be honest, it made me more than just a little nervous. I kept an eye out for an orange mask, paranoid that we'd run into Obito, even though that was an illogical fear. He's not stupid, he's not going to just show up and kill us all. Irrational.

Up ahead, I sensed four bodies, quietly crouching in the trees above like predatory panthers, ready to strike. There was one man on the ground, waiting with his arms crossed, unhappy but sure of himself.

"Five up ahead. Strong. I think one guy is our guide inside. The other four are insurance," I informed.

"You all heard. You know what to do." Michiru-sensei switched personalities like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. His smile and exuberant personality turned to cold stone. Like a mime, Shima copied him.

Eventually, we came up to the man, who was dressed in a bland, grey flack jacket, black shirt and pants, and navy boots. His headband was proudly displayed on his forehead, holding back wild brown hair that could compete with Yusuke's. His eyes were cold and grey as he scrutinized our group.

"Passports," he demanded.

Well. Isn't he just a bundle of love?

We all held them out and one by one he checked them and told us to stand to the side until he finished. The whole thing took about ten minutes, since it was his job to be thorough. I was beginning to think he'd start patting us down and checking inside our mouths. Thank God he didn't. He motioned for us to follow him and we took what I think was the long way to the grey village wall. Cold wafted off of the stone and a chill ran through my body when we entered an archway, hidden in a hallway that ran parallel to the wall like the exit to a snail's shell.

A huge iron gate opened diagonally from the center outwards and we were in. The forest continued past the gate in all of its damp glory, until we found a dirt path—that was honestly more mud than dirt— that led into the village proper. We were immediately greeted with barren streets in a residential area. A small, red ball rolled in the wind, caressed by the mist. It hit a rusting pail and the hollow, metallic echo mimicked the emptiness in my chest.

This place _sucks_.

I felt eyes on me and when I shifted my sight to the side, I noticed a bland, salmon curtain flutter behind a low window. The residents were under lockdown while the contestants arrived. I wasn't sure if that was for their safety or just an exercise of power imposed upon them by their Kage. Either way, it was bullshit.

I memorized the way we walked and committed every detail on every house to memory. I sensed Itachi cloaking his eyes with genjutsu. His sharingan was on, covertly imprinting the village layout on his mind while everyone remained completely oblivious.

I realized that he's going to have to be the most careful of all of us. From what I remember, Kirigakure isn't friendly towards kekkei genkai. I don't know if that applies to outsiders as well as their own people, but either way I think it's safe to assume Itachi has a huge target stitched on his back: AKA the Uchiha fan.

Eventually, we came upon a fence, where many other genin stood waiting. They tried to look nonchalant, but they were still kids and they were still fearful. Four other jounin stood in a line opposite of the group that milled about the fence. There were three males, one each from Suna, Kumo, and Iwa, based off of their clothes. The woman at the end was from Kusa. She wore something similar to what Kurenai wore in cannon, though her outfit was in shades of green and grey and her hair was covered with an elegant turban. Michiru-taicho joined the line next to her and our group joined the other genin in front of the fence.

The mean guy that greeted us unsealed a stack of papers. If you thought I didn't tense up at that, you thought wrong. We _all_ got ready for a fight for a second. If he noticed how wary we all were, he didn't pay it any mind. He handed three separate stacks to three separate people in three different sections of our group. The papers were passed around and when I read mine I noticed it was a waver. If you die, it's not Kiri's fault, essentially. I motioned for Keitaro to turn around and I signed the paper on his back. He did the same and eventually all the papers were signed and then passed back to Meanie. Meanie then read through all of them, checked them twice and made sure the amount of papers in his hands matched the amount of heads in front of him.

He finally cleared his throat and the quiet murmurs amongst us died out.

"This portion of the test is simple. There is one blue medallion somewhere in this forest. You will be split into two groups at random. The group that finds the medallion and successfully brings it somewhere outside the forest fence within the allotted five days moves on to the one-on-one matches. The genin who perform the best and survive the matches will be considered for the chunin title by their respective kage. Anything goes. If you understand, step forward and take a paper from this seal."

He unrolled a scroll with many tiny circular seals on them and one by one everyone unsealed a small, circular paper attached to a safety pin. I guess we have to pin those onto us to prevent some sort of confusion. I noticed that there were only two three-man-cells from Kirigakure participating; strange. Since this exam is occurring in their village, you'd think there'd be more of them. But then again, don't all the academy kids have to try to kill each other to graduate or something?

I was amongst the last of the group to take a paper. It was red. I discreetly made eye contact with Itachi as I tacked it onto my navy haori. His arms were crossed, but the paper between his fingers was in my line of sight. His was blue.

Fuuuuuuck.

Seeing the worry on my face, he shook his head and held up a finger; he'd talk to me in a second. I nodded in response. We were told to separate into two groups by color. Almost everyone I knew was in the blue group…

Except Rii. Yep. Of all the rotten things to happen, I get placed in a group where Rii is my only definitely ally…

What the _fuck_ , man. I can't catch a break! I know _exactly_ what's going to have to happen next. I felt the genjutsu and begrudgingly, I let it take over.

" _Sabotage them."_

I knew it! See! Didn't I call it!? Uuuuuughhhhhhh…. Whyyyyyyyy?

I bit my lip. Sabotaging my group—the one with the least amount of Konoha Shinobi in it— will ruin my own chances of ranking up… but it'll improve the chances of more Konoha shinobi participating in the second half of the exam. God _damn it_.

He must have seen the pain on my face because he shot me a sympathetic look. I nodded, already accepting my fate, feeling the last nail in the coffin; bye-bye chunin promotion.

This whole excursion _sucks_. I want a re-do!

Rii stood next to me. Does he know that I'm going to ruin both of our opportunities?

"Looks like it's just you and me, demon girl."

"Lovely."

"You can begin at any time you wish." Meanie said, initiating the exam and walking back to the line of jounin studying all of us.

Immediately, this girl from Suna whipped around to face our group of twenty-one.

"Listen up. We're going to go through the center of this place and search from there on out. I'm not losing this promotion, so you either follow me or go kick rocks." She announced, a fire burning in her brown eyes.

"Great, you'll make the perfect second-in-command," Rii retorted in a snide tone, taking her attitude down a notch.

"Ex _cuse_ me?" She was about to fire something else off, when another girl from Kumo interrupted her.

"I'm with baldy. I don't want to listen to some hot-headed snob." She popped a pink bubble and continued chewing her gum, tossing a choppy dark lock behind her bare, tanned shoulder.

The Suna girl clenched her fists, but a logical voice chimed in, so smooth it was almost sensual.

"I believe there should be more than one leader." All heads turned to a boy in the back. Judging by his headband he was from Kusa. He wore all black from head to toe and only broke up the monotony with a dark olive jacket that he zipped half-way up. His short, but messy hair and eyes were so dark you'd think he came straight out of the Uchiha clan.

"What do you mean?" Rii regarded him with suspicion, but that was normal in this case, I guess.

"There is at least one shinobi from each nation here. Why don't we let each group decide who their representative will be and those representatives will convene and decide on a course of action. Agreed?"

There was silence and then there was sudden, mad talking and deciding. Itachi's group was already making its way into the woods and judging by the way they grouped themselves they were all just going their separate ways.

"Which one of us is the rep?" Rii was cautious with his question, ready for a fight. I rolled my eyes.

"Go ahead _taicho_ , this can be your show if you'd like." We're fucked anyway so it doesn't matter.

He got suspicious and narrowed his eyes.

"I don't trust that response."

I sighed.

"I'm not here to argue. We're here to get a promotion. If you're going to cause a stink about a leadership role I'd rather you just have it."

"… Fine."

He turned and stepped to the side where the other elected leaders waited for Suna to get their heads out of their asses. Eventually, each nation had a candidate picked. I noticed that Dark-and-Mysterious was the only one representing his village.

Eventually, a tall and broad kid with a helmet-thing common to the Suna area joined the group of five waiting for him.

"We should start with introductions," a busty girl with red hair and green eyes from Kumo suggested, now that all the leaders were picked.

"We don't have time for that. We'll refer to each other as numbers. I'm One," Dark-and-Mysterious declared. "Kiri," he tipped his head to a boy with wavy blue hair and eyes with bandaged arms and legs, "you're Two. Suna, you're Three, Kumo, you're Four, Iwa," a girl with braided blonde hair and fiery violet eyes smirked in response, "you're Five, and Konoha, you're Six. Does everyone get that?" He didn't wait for an actual answer. "Great. Let's move into the woods and convene."

They all shrugged and our group of leaders and followers trailed after him. Once we were in the forest, we stopped at the base of a large, moss-covered tree.

"We have several options, here, depending on how greedy you guys are," One began, "if you don't mind screwing your friends we can always attack their group. If you do, we can scour this place as a single, large unit, or we can just go our separate ways. Pick one and be quick about it."

"I say we stick to ourselves," Four, the red-headed Kumo girl suggested, "We don't need any of you."

"That's fine, but you're not thinking of the villages with smaller numbers, like Konoha, Kiri, and Kusa. One is the only person representing his village," Three, the tall Suna boy argued.

"What makes you think this is about teamwork with other nations, exactly?" Rii chimed in, running his big mouth and decreasing our chances of survival. Dumbass. If the woods are dangerous, we run the risk of being overwhelmed if it's just the two of us.

"Six has a point," Five, the blonde Iwa girl, agreed, "Why should any of us care what happens to you? The less survivors we have the better our chances are later."

"Well, I for one don't feel like dying. I say we stick together," Two, the blue-haired Kiri boy replied. All heads turned back to One.

"You're the tie-breaker," Rii stated the obvious.

"And you're all missing one crucial point." I didn't mean to say anything, it's just that the adult in me got irritated that these kids were forgetting this one important fact.

"And what's that?" One waited patiently for a reply. In fact, everyone did.

"None of us have any idea as to what awaits us in that forest. Except maybe Kiri."

All heads turned to the few members of that village, including Two, their elected leader.

"If they feel that it would be wise to take this place on in larger numbers, I think we should listen. They know the terrain and if they want that medal, it'll be wise to have them close by to lead us to it… unless Kiri disagrees with that idea." All heads turned to Two. He pulled his hands up.

"I have no objections."

I turned back to One.

"What's your choice, One?"

He shot me a smirk.

"My choice is that you're the new 'Six.' And we stick together and comb this place clean. Two, do any of your people know this place very well?"

Two shook his head as Rii's anger shot through the fucking stratosphere. Thankfully, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

"Only vaguely. This place is off-limits to genin." Two revealed. "Though, we _can_ tell you what to watch out for. There are plenty of training areas similar to this place and I can assure you that there's plenty of quick-mud and other… _creatures_ that can get you guys killed."

"You know, we should probably watch out for the other team too. Who knows if they're going to go after us for that promotion…" Three added randomly.

"Fine, Kiri leads," Four, the Kumo girl declared.

"Fine by me," One complied.

"Me too," Three agreed with a smile.

"Sure thing," Five, the Iwa girl with violet eyes waved her hand, already bored of the situation.

"Sounds like a plan." I finalized.

"Alright, let's get moving," Two took the lead with the other two Kiri shinobi following behind him. One by one the leaders took their groups. Suna, Kumo, and Iwa had the most people in our group. Their villages technically had a better chance at looking good in front of potential clients if our group were to get the medallion…

Which they won't, because I'll make sure they don't. So I guess the odds will be in favor of either Kiri, Konoha or Kusa. Fine by me.

"I hate you." Rii grumped into my ear all the way at the back of the group. He sounded more annoyed than actually hateful, though.

"That tone doesn't sting as much as it should. Do you hate me less since our last conversation?"

He growled and his arms slightly twitched; he was trying not to cross them in defense.

"I still hate you…but what you said was pretty smart."

What a Tsundere.

"Stop being stupid, you're going to make me laugh. We're supposed to be their worst nightmare, remember?" I snapped back at him.

"Does it even matter anymore in this situation? If we want that fucking thing we're going to have to communicate and be civil with them. That doesn't leave much room for acting like the Shinigami of their fears, does it?"

I sighed because he had a point.

"I guess you're right. So much for that idea. Still, be professional."

"No shit, demon girl."

"Shut your mouth before I force it shut, Baldy."

"Are you blind? I'm _not_ bald. My hair is _buzzed_. Should I get you glasses, old maid?"

"What are you two flirting about back here?" One fell back from his position in the middle of the murmuring group to talk to us.

"Depends on what your perception of flirting is," I shot back. He shot me another pleased smirk.

"I like your wit. Just make sure you two are keeping your eyes peeled. It doesn't help that the damned thing is blue in this mist… that makes every damn thing look blue."

"We should fan out." I suggested.

"Not a bad idea. He called up ahead to the group, "Six says to fan out. What do you guys think!"

They just spread out, sticking to the group but still expanding their field of vision.

"If anyone spots anything just shout," One commanded.

"This is like finding a needle in a fucking haystack." Rii grumbled as One moved away from us.

Of course, there _is_ a solution to the "needle in a haystack" issue… you can just set the whole haystack on fire and wait. Actually, attacking the woods, or at least the mist clouding the visibility in the woods would be helpful. Having everyone make as many clones as possible to cover more ground would also be helpful. I could have mentioned both of those ideas to the other leaders, but I'm supposed to be sabotaging this group, not helping them, so I kept my mouth shut and prepared myself for a very long five days.

How long will it be until these people start losing their cool under the pressure to succeed? Once that time starts to run out, all hell is going to break loose. How am I going to deal with that?

I looked at each of the leaders and their group members, trying to judge what they were like based off of what I felt in their chakra. If I can somehow just get everyone to like me, it will be easier to be heard amongst the chaos later.

For now, it would be best to gain Two's trust. He seems amiable enough and if all goes well, maybe I can just get him to tell me some things about Kirigakure. It wouldn't hurt to try.

"What, is he cute or something?" Rii asked, annoyed. I guess I was eyeing Two for a little longer than necessary. Actually, he was cute. He looked like a water fairy or something. Pointed ears would go great with his oddly colored hair and eyes. If he lives, he'll be a heartbreaker when he's older. But that's besides the point.

"He's cuter than you, that's for sure," I retorted.

"You're annoying, you know that?"

"Of course I do. But you're stuck here with me so deal with it."

I saw him roll his eyes as he bounced off of a tree branch and sailed onto another one with grace that didn't match his attitude.

Me too, Rii… me too. It's gonna be a long five days, buddy.

* * *

Okay! That went by so fast. I don't know about you guys but I'm so psyched that 2016 is ending. This whole year sucked for me and I think for most people around me, so I'm just beyond ready to watch it wither and die on the 31st.

Anyway, drop a review because I love hearing your opinions and ideas :]

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: Nope. I'm on strike. This is a battle against redundancy. Not doing it. You should know this by now.


	17. Survive the Assault!

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|17|

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto: Yuzuha prepped for the exams. The team from Konoha consists of herself, Utau, Itachi, Shima, Yusuke, a difficult boy named Mitashi, Manna, a girl that used to be friends with her ex-bully, Rii, a boy that doesn't like her very much and Keitaro, a boy that made amends with her.

The chunin teat consists of finding one blue medallion in a dangerous forest. The genin participating were split into two groups. Yuzuha ended up on the red team with Rii, and plotted with Itachi to sabotage her own team, consisting of mainly Suna, Kumo, and Iwa shinobi to increase Konoha's chances of participating and winning in the second half of the exams.

The exam has a time limit of five days and Yuzuha's group decided to stick together, turning to the leadership of a makeshift council consisting of one representative from each nation. They decided to number themselves. One is a boy from Kusa, Two is a boy from Kiri, Three is a boy from Suna, Four is a girl from Kumo, Five is a girl from Iwa and Six was Rii, until One decided she'd be a better representative.

The group decided to fan out of the woods in their search for the medallion!

* * *

We were taking a break, _finally_. I didn't need a break, of course, not with my stamina, but I was waiting patiently for an opportunity to collect information. I wiped my face of the moisture gathering onto it, no thanks to the ever-present mist of this Godforsaken forest.

Yes, I know. _God, Yuzuha_ shut up already. We know you hate the rain and snow. I can't help it, guys. Sorry.

 _Finally_ , Two decided to sit down and drink from his canteen. I had gathered some nuts on our search since I was bored, seeing that I had no intention of actually looking for any medallion and decided to approach him with a purposeful conversation in mind.

Time to be cute.

"Um… Two?" I came up to where he was sitting on a rotting log under a tree with moss and clovers growing all over its base. He turned to me and actually smiled.

"Yes, Six?"

"What are these called?" I held out the nuts I found.

"Oh, those are good! The little round ones are called Ila and the dark wide ones are Sei," he explained. "You know it's rare to find those. Legends say that they bring good luck and long life to those who find them. I'm impressed."

"Ah, I see," I said as I sat down next to him. "Have some with me, then."

The look I got from him was one of distrust and immediate hostility. The smile from before was gone faster than you could say, "Sharingan." I can't blame him. Our villages were in conflict until recently.

"You think I'm stupid, Six?" His tone was low. For now, he was keeping this between us. I glared at him.

"Actually, yes, now I do." The offended look in return was priceless. It took all of me to not smirk with pride. "You think I want to die here in this forest?"

He stated quiet for a moment as he debated the answer to my question. He didn't know what exactly I was talking about and I didn't expect him to. I have a bad habit of being too vague sometimes.

"Your faction is the only one that has an upper hand in this forest. Why would I get rid of you, knowing that?" It was the truth. It really wouldn't benefit me to kill him off right now.

"You could have just decided to take your chances. You Konoha folk are known to make some risky decisions," he murmured in reply.

"Right. And do I look like the type of person that would murder someone during a time of truce in front of twenty-one people that would kill me for killing their guide?"

He looked me up and down for a moment.

"…No," He finally admitted and looked down, mildly ashamed.

"Okay then. Have some nuts. You haven't eaten anything since we started this stupid test and I can see you clenching your stomach every so often. You're hungry. Don't think I didn't notice." I pushed the little things in the palm of my hands closer to his face to emphasize my point.

He was genuinely surprised.

"You people _are_ monsters…" But he took some nuts from my hand anyway and started to chew on them.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean… it's just… sorry Six, but you're kind of small for a genin. To think that you'd notice little things like that is impressive. I think you know a lot more than you let on, that's all."

"Hah, well," I proudly grinned and straightened up my posture, "you know, Konoha's awesome and all that." Can't give away too much information, now, can I? "Anyway, be happy you have monsters on your team, then." After a few moments of us chewing, I said, "Hey, Two?"

"Mm?" He was busy studying the rest of our company sitting down, resting and skipping out into the woods to pee or whatever.

"What do you think the proctors are looking for the candidates to display in an exam like this." I wasn't asking him because I needed to know, I was getting his thought process on the track I wanted it on in order for me to give him a reason to trust me.

"The ability to survive."

"Yes and no. I mean, not quite."

"What do you mean?"

"They split us up into groups, right? Chunin typically lead a group of random people to do something. Advancing to Chunin kind of just means that you've been recognized for your leadership skills, basically, but the point is that you won't always have the comfort of working with your team. Would you agree?"

"…Interesting. Yeah, I guess that seems about right."

 _Seems about right?_ Is he unsure? Is the Kiri academy lacking? It's a good theory to think about.

"I think this exercise simulates that experience the most, don't you think? We're put in a group of people that we don't know and sometimes outright hate, but we have to make do, don't we? Just like any chunin on the roster. Now, knowing that we might be watched by our superiors right now, who do you think is getting the most 'points' right now?"

His eyes widened.

"Us," he quietly whispered. "I mean, like the six of us."

"Exactly."

His blue eyes narrowed a bit.

"But that makes no sense. If they're watching our performance for our leadership skills now, what would be the point of the blue medallion?"

"Who even knows if there _is_ a blue medallion. Think about it, it's an exam. We'd be stupid to believe _everything_ they tell us."

"…Okay… Maybe. What's your point?"

I smiled.

"Nothing. Just that I'm not going to screw up my chance at a promotion by sabotaging my interim teammates. For now at least, I'm on your side."

I stuck out my hand. He shook his head, laughed and then took my hand, shaking it once before going back to eating nuts out of his palm.

"You're an interesting one, Six. What's your real name?"

"You know, I like 'Six,' actually. Just call me 'Six.'"

"Alright." He shrugged.

"I gotta go. Take care of yourself. And I mean that literally. If I die because you had to pee mid-battle or something I'm gonna haunt you, I promise," I jokingly threatened.

Two laughed.

"Is that so?"

"Believe it. I'll put a curse on you. Your kids will all have red hair."

"Like blue is any better?" He pointed to his own odd hair color and I grinned at his sense of humor.

"Hah, got me there." I waved and turned around. I pretended to go pee, but I didn't have to so I just stood in the woods and stalked Itachi's chakra. He was doing okay. Based on the amount of chakra he has, he hasn't used a single jutsu… yet. That's good. The rest of the team was okay too. All good signs. In fact, most of the teams from his collective group were doing okay.

When I was satisfied, I came back to our "camp site," if you could call it that, and casually crashed against the tree trunk next to Four and Five.

"What's that?" I tipped my head towards a soft cover booklet that Four was giggling about with Five.

Four smirked and flipped over a magazine with a really hot guy on it. She was probably thirteen or so, so it was expected of her to crush on models and stuff, I guess. Four tipped her head so her long, fiery bangs flew out of her face.

"Do you know who this is?" She pointed to the male on the page. His hair was shaggy and the same exact shade of sandy blonde as Five's.

"No," I replied, now interested but not really, "who is he?"

"The lead singer of _Akai_ , only the greatest boy group around. Don't you think he looks like he could be Five's older brother? I was trying to get her to fess up. _Speaking of which_ ," she turned to Five, "stop lying, Iwa. I know your secret. He's _got_ to be your brother."

"Ugh, he is _not_ I swear," Five defended, crossing her arms.

"You know, there are rumors that he comes from Iwa… Hey, y'think it might not work out between us if that's true?"

She paused to look at the image, as if she could figure something out just by looking at it.

Five and I just looked at her until she finally laughed out loud.

"Oh come on, did you guys really believe me there?"

She flapped the magazine in front of Five, who snatched it back and shut it, smoothing the folds in the paper out.

"I was beginning to think you were insane," Five grumbled. Four smirked back at her.

"Who said I'm not?"

I smirked at them both.

"I like that answer," I complemented. Four threw up a victorious peace sign.

"Whatever, you wrinkled my magazine. It's not perfect anymore," Five complained.

Four rolled her eyes.

"Well, Six. I'm energetic and Five's pissed off at everything; what's your deal?"

"I don't know. There's too much to choose from, actually." Really, though. There is.

Four laughed.

"Good answer. So what were you and Two talking about? You guys look cute together." Four winked, but then she frowned and crossed her arms. "Damn, it's too bad you can't be together."

"It's not anything like that. I was talking to him about how I think the blue team is going to lose and why."

 _That_ sparked their interest.

"Do tell," Five urged, as if she were suddenly a part of some devilish scheme.

I reiterated to her what I said to Two and they listened without saying a word.

"Y'know… you might just be right, kid. Either way we're kinda screwed if we don't stick together. Did you see how I _almost_ touched that poisonous bush? Good thing you convinced us to stay in a group. If it wasn't for Two I'd have a full-body rash right now," Four revealed.

Five chuckled and then tossed her braid over the shoulder of her loose-fitting top.

"That would've _sucked_ ," she agreed.

Just then, One came up to us and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Six, I need to talk to you."

Five narrowed her eyes.

"You guys have some sort of alliance or something?" Suspicion, suspicion.

One turned to her with a serious expression on his face.

"It's not like that." And there was no lie in his tone. He took me by the wrist and whisked me away. Normally, a girl would be scared right now, but I felt no ill intent in his chakra. Actually, he was pretty amped about something. Once we were kind of in the trees, but still close enough to hear our group he smiled at me.

"Now that I have you alone, sit with me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

He waved his hand over an absurdly large tree root and then sat down on it.

"It's not comfortable but we need to talk _somewhere_."

I sat down because fuck it, why not?

"What's up?"

"I want to make an alliance with you, sort of a pact."

My jaw dropped and I pointed a thumb behind my shoulder to indicate Four and Five back there.

"You lied to them."

"Flawlessly." He grinned proudly and then bent over in a bow from his seated position like an actor proud of his work.

"We're supposed to work together to survive this, not lie to each other," I hissed quietly.

He waved off my statement.

"Don't act innocent. I'm not stupid, I can tell what you're doing."

I raised a red eyebrow and he rolled his eyes.

"You're a great politician, Six. I'm impressed, really. Not even ten minutes and you already got three 'enemy' countries to genuinely like you. You're planning something and whatever it is, I'm here to ask you to include me."

Wow. This kid is good. I kind of feel naked now that he exposed my manipulative tendencies. But what am I supposed to say, "Okay One, no problem, I'm actually planning on sabotaging our group because most of my team is in the blue group. Fuck your promotion?"

Yeah no.

"Even _if_ I were planning something, why would I let you in on it?"

"Because you haven't seen my kekkei genkai yet and I am the only grass shinobi here. I need your support, and to be honest you and your dunce teammate could use a third fighter on your side. This way, if things go as south as they might, at least we'll have a three-man-cell capable of taking on whatever we have to. All I'm looking for is a temporary verbal alliance that expires the second we leave this damn forest for good. What do you say?"

He puts up a good argument.

"Kekkei Genkai, huh? That's a little dangerous to mutter out loud in this village, don't you think?"

He rolled his eyes.

"You should worry more about your Uchiha teammates in the other group. They're surrounded by more Kiri shinobi than I am. Now stop dancing around the topic. Yes or no?"

"What if I say, 'no'?"

I would totally like to say yes. In fact, it would be good to have another solid ally, but I didn't like the fact that he saw right through me. I felt like being an asshole, not to be an asshole, but just because it was a defense mechanism. This kid is on my level of scheming and I don't know how to handle that.

"Well, a 'no' is a 'no,'" he shrugged, "but we're going to be voting on a lot of things, like the direction of travel, when to stop, if we should or shouldn't approach something, et cetera. I can't guarantee _always_ being on your side if you don't agree to have my back. I think that's reasonable don't you?"

I looked at his dark eyes and contemplated. He made me nervous. He made me think he had an ulterior motive. Fuck it, I might as well just ask him. He might be thinking that I'm thinking he has an ulterior motive anyway, so I might as well just come out and say it, if that's the case.

"What's _your_ game plan? You wouldn't be here talking to me about this if my allegiance didn't somehow benefit you in the end."

He gave me a pleased smile.

"We think a lot alike, you know that? Anyway, it's a learning experience, to be _partially_ honest. You know Grass' situation. We're always caught in the middle. We don't have an Academy system like the great nations do and any techniques and skills are passed down strictly from master to pupil. Seeing how two Konoha shinobi conduct themselves would give me something to take back to my village to help it."

"And what's the other part?"

He grinned.

"That part's a secret, but I promise that it doesn't involve anything that would hurt you."

"Yeah just like you promised Four and Five back there that you're not forming any alliances?" I was still amazed at the skill he lied with. He held up a finger.

"I 'promised' them nothing. I never used that word. Now do we have a deal or not?" He stuck out his hand and I looked at it with a shrug. Why the hell not? If he makes one wrong move I'll just punch his trachea out through the back of his neck. No big deal.

"Fine. Deal." I shook his hand once and dropped it.

"Tell your friend what we talked about. We'll talk more later, on our next break."

"Alright. You've got a lot of explaining to do about that kekkei genkai that you supposedly have."

"I _do_ have one. Anyway, let's get back. Break's almost over. Three won't be hard to make friends with. He's soft. I think they picked him because he's the best strategist they have."

And it was true. Three was a big softie. I got along with him by talking to him about shogi and how strawberry ice cream was gross. He was organized compared to the other Suna shinobi in our group, so it only made sense that that characteristic coupled with his strategic thinking would make him an effective rep for their village. Eventually we got back on the move, this time more amiably since we all knew each other better.

I took the opportunity to talk to Rii as soon as it presented itself.

"One's on our side. Keep it to yourself," I whispered when we landed on the same oversized tree branch far enough away from the others to have a private chit-chat.

"Good. He's dangerous," Rii replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean just look at him. We all know he's kind of our main leader. The other five of you are just his council. He's a leader and leaders are dangerous. I'd rather have him on our side than not."

Looks like Rii isn't as much of a dunce as One thinks he is.

"He said he has some sort of kekkei genkai and basically that since we're the minorities here we should stick together."

"Works for me. Worst case we'll just gut him if he pulls a fast one on us."

I'm starting to like this kid more and more.

So we continued on until nightfall. And then for another two days after that. Turns out that some people from Kumo were expert hunters, so they caught us more than enough game to eat each night. It was tempting to just set up an actual camp more often than not. For a motley crew we all worked really well together. I'm not saying everything was perfect. There were a few fights we had to break up between Suna and Kumo, but those never lasted more than a minute, anyway. Our council was pretty efficient if I do say so myself. One told me about his kekkei genkai. It was that ice style that Haku sported in cannon. My mind was blown. He absolutely refused to say anything about his lineage whatsoever, but I theorized that maybe his parents escaped the slaughter somehow, and retreated to Grass. Who the hell knows what could have happened? Either way I was surprised and eager to see it in action, and believe me, I know there's going to be some action in these woods eventually.

Anyway, as I predicted, we were all starting to get extremely tense and frustrated. We only had two days left to find the medallion and no one wanted to fail the exam. It was in the middle of the day that I noticed something… unsettling.

"Hold up!" I called ahead, getting the attention of the rest of the council. The other five leaders raised their hands to signal their groups to stop.

"What's up Six?" Four asked, concerned. Everyone in the group armed him or herself with a kunai.

"The other group… they're all dying like flies out there." I explained. Their chakras were like little candles that were suddenly snuffed out by a chaotic flash of light.

"So you're a sensor, huh?" Five concluded.

"Yeah and I've been watching them. They're dying. A group of five just fell one by one. There's someone killing them. Someone strong." I gasped because suddenly, that someone had descended upon the Konoha company, plus some people they were convening with.

It was Itachi that commanded them to retreat based off of his body language. He left the other group to die. I won't say that it was the most noble decision, or that it was okay, but it was a wise move. One that saved their lives by giving them enough time to run.

A second later Goku poofed onto my shoulder, holding a message. I unrolled the scroll, all of this occurring in seconds.

 _They sent a jounin to test us. He has the medallion. Be aware. Assistance if possible._

"What about the rest of our shinobi!" A Kumo male panicked. How is he a shinobi if he freaks out so easily? Have you ever heard a child ask a question during a haunted house visit? Well, that's what he sounded like.

"I think we should rejoin them." Two proposed.

"I second that. I'm not letting my people die." Five agreed.

"Wait. How do we know you're not lying?" Three asked quietly. I glared at him.

"Are you _insane_? My team is in mortal danger and you're wasting time asking me if I'm _lying_!?" My response was emotional enough to surprise him. Up until that point I had been calculated and calm as usual.

"We gotta get a move on, guys. I don't care about what anyone decides. I'm not letting my friends die," Rii declared and took off.

The rest of us quickly voted on the rescue mission and then took off with the entirety of our group. We never made it more than four kilometers before we were attacked in a clearing overlooking a huge drop off into a ravine.

Three Suna nin were pelted with chakra-infused kunai so hard that the weapons tore through the padding beneath their clothes and pierced their organs. They were down and out within seconds.

Shit.

At this point, there were woods in front of us, the ravine behind us and open grassy land to our left and right. We were basically cornered animals, but there was hope. Itachi was on his way. If he kept to the same direction he'd eventually run into us. Although, on the down side, the other jounin was prowling around, looking for him, not too far off. It would be a death sentence if we were bombarded by _two_ jonin-level ninja.

Like a boss from any video game, the enemy appeared, a smirk on her face so wide it showed her serrated teeth. The violet hair on the left side of her head was braided back in some exotic style with beads in it, but it was flat, straight and smooth on the right. Her outfit was a mishmash of different colors with rips in it here and there, complemented with a single, blue medallion on a navy ribbon around her neck. The entire ensemble was disturbing to the mind. She looked like Tira from Soul Caliber in the sense that she had that kind of psychotic aura about her. I wondered if she was just as mentally unstable as the character. Either way one thing stuck out to me: she had no jounin vest and no armor that I could see.

That meant one of three things:

A. She's so dangerous she doesn't need armor.

B. She really is insane.

I prayed for 'B' but that was unlikely.

"Water style: Steam Dragon jutsu!" She screeched, her voice like nails on a chalkboard.

I barely had time to roll out of the way as about eight shinobi— most from Suna, Kumo, and some from Kiri—were hit with the attack. They were dead. Boiled alive. Two was horror-stricken.

"Why would you do that! They're from our village!" He cried out, his fear turning into anger within seconds.

Clearly she didn't care about what he had to say, because she flung two exploding tags at him. He froze for just a second in shock. I took the opportunity to launch from my crouched positon and dive towards him. He wasn't too far from me and my body crashed into his. We rolled twice before the tags went off and we were blown a few meters further. Little bits of super-heated rock flew at my back as I covered as much of Two as I could. It burned holes through my haori like cigarette burns on an old car seat.

"Die!" That was Four. Two kunai cut through the air behind us and more explosions followed.

"Ugh… what the _hell_ is going on…" Two sounded betrayed and in denial.

Your village is crazy, Two. _That's_ what's going on.

But I didn't say that to him. I couldn't rub salt into his wounds like that. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have Mira-sensei turn against us.

"Do you know anything about her at all?" I asked. It was time to focus on taking down the enemy. If he had any information at all, it could help us survive this.

"No, I've never even seen her in the village, but she has a Kiri headband. Who is she!?"

I gave him a hard look. As if I had any idea. We pulled ourselves up, and flinched when One jumped backwards and landed in front of us.

"You guys okay?"

Sparks from connecting weapons flashed in the distance reminding me of Yusuke. Saying that I miss him would be a gross understatement.

"I'll live," I replied as I watched the woman dance around admittedly weak lightning strikes from two Kumo ninja and subsequently take them out. Two more Kumo nin fell after that, bisected at the waist and chest respectively by a quick burst of razor-sharp water, leaving Four and one other to fall back to my position. There were only nine of us left. Us Six leaders, one Kumo boy who looked like he shat his pants just a minute ago, and one girl from Kiri, determination shining fiercely in her olive green eyes. She summoned a short sword and fell back to our position. Four and Five put their backs against ours, joining our little circle of defense.

"Three!" Five cried out in horror as she watched the crazy woman run towards him with speed I'd seen Shisui display countless times.

Three was on his knees, staring at the corpses of his fallen comrades, in utter shock and horror, probably glued to the ground by the enemy's killing intent. He was frozen stiff and probably unaware of the fact that his hesitation was about to kill him.

Not on my watch, though. I popped my hand over the forearm of my elbow-length arm warmer, summoning a teleportation kunai. The metal of the engraved handle touched my fingers for a split second before I tossed it straight at Three with all the power in my arm. I took off and then made the tiger sign to focus my chakra.

 _Hiraishin_.

Within a second, I was flying at Three. I grasped the collar of his floppy white tunic and yanked him off of the grass, just as Psycho-Lady landed in the spot we just vacated, driving a short sword into the soft earth.

That could have been the top of Three's skull.

"L-let go of me!" Three wailed and flailed so I complied.

"You're welcome." I grumped.

"S-sorry…" He had just snapped out of it so I didn't blame him for freaking out on me. There wasn't any time to care anyway because she was growling and would attack us any second now.

Thankfully Rii flew out of the trees just then, fire shooting from his lips. Where'd he learn that!?

She ducked to the side as Rii landed, grabbed my hand and began dragging me to our circle of shinobi, precariously close to the edge of the ravine. Naturally I grabbed Three's wrist and before long, we were watching the woman slowly prowl towards our circle like a lioness stalking her prey. We were all like one big gazelle with a broken leg, trying desperately to get up and run.

It was horrifying.

"Now would be a good time to come up with a plan," One murmured nervously.

"Yeah I kind of don't have any ideas," Five admitted.

"That bitch is going to _pay_ ," Four growled.

"I don't want to die here," Three whispered so quietly we could barely hear him.

"I can't believe the village would let this happen," Two added.

"We're going to kill her. I'm not dying here. I need that promotion!" The Kiri girl might be just as mentally unstable as Psycho-Lady.

The Kumo boy was shaking so badly I felt it against my back.

"Get yourself together!" I hissed.

"O-o-okay," he whimpered behind me.

"We've got a ravine to our back, a psychopath in front of us, and open stretches of land to both our sides," One analyzed.

"Our best bet would be to take to the woods," Rii muttered. "But how are we going to do that when she's guarding them like some hell-hound?"

"We could all just throw weapons at her to push her away. It would give us enough time to run around her," Four plotted.

"Whatever gets her the hell away from me," Five agreed.

"It would be best to go to the right. My comrades are that way. They're on their way here, although they have their own killer with a blue medallion to deal with," I commented.

"There are _two_ blue medallions!?" Five shrieked but she was ignored.

"Fuck that. Two of you Konoha slobs is enough for me. You guys wanna go that way, you can. I'm taking to the trees," the Kiri girl snapped. I turned my head to retort something snide, but Rii beat me to it.

"Oh sure, that sounds like a great idea. In fact, if you're so _fucking_ capable on your own why don't you help us out and take her down!"

She had nothing to say to that. You know, if we live past this day, I think I'm going to make an effort to hang out with Rii on occasion.

"Five, can you do any earth jutsu?" One tossed the question over his shoulder as confidently as he could. It was crucial at this point to appear in control. Most of our group was afraid, no thanks to the killing intent in the air and if they let it get to them, we'd all be screwed.

"Kind of. It's not perfected, but… I can do it."

"Good that's better than nothing. On my mark, I need you to shake the earth at her feet. She'll probably jump at us. Either way, she's going to be in the air. Six, that's where we come in. You blast her with a water dragon; you can do that right?"

"Not without a huge body of water, but don't worry. I have something similar. It'll be smaller, but it'll be enough."

"That's good enough for me. She'll probably use some sort of water jutsu to counter it. That's where I come in. I'll freeze your attack and hopefully the weight of it will do some damage, or at least stun her. When that's done, Rii will blast her with fire."

"Thanks for leaving me out of your plan," The Kiri girl grumbled. "Yeah, what about the three of us?" Four was kind of offended.

"You, her and Shaky's job is to watch our backs and intervene incase shit gets rough. Are we all clear?" One wasn't playing games. His tone left no room for objection. We all grunted our agreement. His solid plan gave us hope and confidence.

"We've all seen war at this point. We're all stronger than we think," he added for a little extra moral support.

Psycho-Lady stopped about six meters from us, and flipped her braid over her shoulder.

"Don't any of you want to know my name?" Her tone was haughty, condescending. Her eyes were scary.

"Just why the hell would we care?" One's voice lowered an octave, making him sound dangerous. He leaked a little killing intent to bolster his confident demeanor. Impressive.

"You should always know the name and face of your executioner, of course. That being said, I am Matayama Kata. Before you go, I'd like you to know that we never expected any of you to surv—

"Earth style: Earthquake jutsu!" We stumbled a little as Five slammed her hands into the ground, the earth wobbling beneath us. It stabilized beneath our feet, but wrecked the ground around Kata. She jumped to avoid the attack, but not as much as One planned. Still, we proceeded with the strategy. I summoned all the chakra in my body and forced it outwards as I transformed it into water.

"Water style: water vortex jutsu!" a horizontal funnel of water shot out of my hands, kame-hame-ha-style, and raced towards her while she was still in the air. If my attack was any slower she would have landed first and who knows what would have happened then. The water hit her hard and she flew backwards against a tree. She bore the pain and wove hand signs, but One had a huge head start on her. The temperature around us dropped, and when he put his hands into my vortex the water froze, freezing the jonin with it.

I felt Rii's chakra flare to life right on time, but One held up his hand to halt him.

We all waited a few seconds. Itachi was getting closer. He lost the jonin stalking him… for now.

"I-is she dead?" Three whispered.

"I think so," Rii replied. Cautiously, he inched up towards the icicle we made out of Kata. … The Kata-cicle. Hah!

Probably not the best time to make jokes. I can't help it.

"Hang on," I voiced, "let me take care of this." I unsealed one of my fans, its pretty strap appearing around my wrist right where I wanted it. I snapped it open and edged closer, fully intending on cutting this bitch's throat through however many layers of ice I needed to.

"Everyone, support," One commanded and several pairs of footsteps flanked me.

I heard the tags sizzle for just a moment before they went off.

* * *

"Itachi! How much farther!?"

Itachi sighed as he pushed off another slippery tree branch. It was the third time Keitaro had asked since they left the group they rendezvoused with in the woods. He understood that Keitaro was worried, but now wasn't the time to display his anxiety.

He would find them. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. He heard the sounds of battle up ahead. The smell of burning wood filled his nostrils.

 _Yuzuha. Just a little more…_

There was a crashing sound coupled with the rush of water and the splintering of wood.

"That's them! We have to hurry!" Utau shouted. He picked up his pace, pushing his company to their limits. Mitashi and Keitaro were sucking in airlike tornadoes and Manna made no effort to hide her huffing and puffing. Utau didn't mind the speed because she had been training with himself and Shisui and Yusuke and Shima were silent in concentration, used to the pace by now.

His sharingan made his eyes tingle in anticipation for a fight, begging to be used. There was an empty patch of land and a ravine beyond the tree line they broke through, with a drop so steep it could be considered a cliff. It reminded him of the Naka river. He raced onwards and saw people standing in the distance, making their way towards something. He ran closer and closer until he was only forty meters away, close enough to see the details on the group's faces and clothes.

He took a breath to call out to them, but a horrible feeling twisted in his gut, eating the words before he could speak them. He slid to a stop as he saw light fizzle from a huge arch of ice in front of the group.

An exploding tag.

" _Yuzuha~!"_ Utau shrieked in horror as the explosion went off, drowning her scream in a deafening _boom_.

His company were all knocked off their feet, including himself. He had no control over his body as it briefly flailed in the air. Like most of his team, he managed to regain his footing, coughing in the smoke that filled the area.

"Yuzu!" The destroyed tone in Yusuke's voice mirrored the despair in Itachi's chest. That was the voice that only people who have lost hope cried in.

"Rii!" Keitaro called, equally horrified. His eyes were saucers of disbelief.

Itachi resisted the urge to lower the kunai in front of him and put a hand on his stomach. Bile rose in his throat and threatened to spill out like the waves of an acidic ocean. Leaving the company from Iwa in the woods to be slaughtered made him sick but this…

This was enough to make him vomit. The nausea made his head spin and he took a deep breath to push it away. He tried to numb himself completely; tried to fight back the overwhelming emotions, but he could only keep half of his attention on his surroundings.

Yuzuha was lying dead somewhere in that smoke, probably in pieces since she was the closest to the blast site. He gripped his kunai tighter, a painful tension building in his eyes, sharpening the already-sharp images in front of him.

He'd never poke her forehead again. He'd never see her laugh or exchange books with her again.

It felt like the pain in his heart was being swallowed up by his eyes. He gritted his teeth against it, wanting and willing the pain to subside, but it wouldn't. The only thing that would make it go away is releasing the build-up.

He never got to tell her that he has feelings for her, and now… he never would.

The edges of his vision blackened for just a moment, shrinking his field of sight as he refused to release his pain. Somehow, he knew he'd regret it if he lost control of the chakra. The blackness in his vision was almost fine with him. He didn't want to continue seeing and experiencing the scene in front of him. Cruelly, his body wouldn't let him submit to unconsciousness.

A wind blew through the area, breathing a haunted sort of life into the still, soundless scene. It filled the void that the forest animals and birds left behind when they ran from the destruction.

"No…" Utau wailed and dropped to her knees. The thump of her knees hitting the damp grass was too loud for the somber scene. He couldn't tell if it stood out or blended perfectly in. Regardless, the vulnerable position she put herself in gave him more anxiety than he was already feeling. She was easy prey in that position and he would hate to lose another one of his company today.

"I'm here for you…" Manna's voice was a whisper on the wind, barely audible. He almost heard her squeeze Utau's armored shoulder more than he heard her speak.

All he could do was stare. Absorb. It's what his bloodline was created to do: See. Memorize. Conquer. He stared until something gold became visible through the smoke. The more the wind blew, the more the gold revealed itself. For a fleeting, petty moment he was offended. How could something so bright shine during such a dismal moment in his life?

When the smoke cleared he was stunned…

It was a _wall_. A large, curved _shield_ of chakra.

And there was a small body behind it; a body with _red_ hair. Utau choked mid-sob with a gasp.

 _She's alive… thank Kami-sama…_

"Yuzuha!" Yusuke bolted from his place, the shock of the event not holding him back like the others. The unever terrain squished and then crunched beneath his feet.

Itachi smiled at the fierceness in her eyes; the determination in her expression as she shakily held her arms up, golden tendrils of solid chakra wrapped around them and connecting to the wall. Her knees buckled, and the wall unwound itself, one tiny fiber after another, quickly retreating beneath her skin.

She fell into the arms of her teammate who held her tightly, almost romantically. He would be a liar if he said it didn't bother him. In fact, if he were to be honest, he regretted not rushing to her first. For how deep his relief ran, he wished he could hold her. Although, it would be selfish of him to do so, wouldn't it? Yusuke seemed like he needed the physical reassurance more than he did.

Shima ran at the group and the rest of his company joined her, breaking the cardinal rule he established when they chose him as his leader: "follow me; do not break formation unless you are told." Manna and Mitashi quietly joined Yusuke while Keitaro ran up to Rii, making sure he was okay. He let the infraction slide only because _Yuzuha survived_ and there was no sign of the enemy that just tried to erase her group... for now.

Itachi turned to Utau, wondering why she wasn't moving. He expected her to be one of the first to check on her best friend.

He found her staring at him with a look of surprise on her face, as if she had discovered a new species of animal.

When he met her eyes, they were both shocked.

Her sharingan was… different. The three tomoe were warped into a shape reminiscent of a flame that steeped into three, fine points. The straight curve of her pupil was waved and if he stared long enough, he was sure it could convince him that it was spinning.

"Your eyes…Itachi…" She murmured. Then, her anomalous orbs rolled into the back of her head and she fell to the side. He slid to his knees and through the wet grass to catch her before her head hit the ground.

He inhaled and exhaled in a rhythm, willing his sharingan to recede. Whatever had just happened had a profound effect on both of their sharingan. When he was ready, he hauled Utau into his arms and darted over to the other group.

They still had two murderous jonin to take care of.

* * *

I couldn't stop myself from shaking. I was grateful to have Yusuke to lean on. I was tired, but quickly recovering. I only needed a few minutes. Thank you Uzumaki awesomeness.

"We thought you blew up," Yusuke whispered. His jacket muffled my hearing and covered my eyes so it was a miracle I even heard him.

"It's gonna take a lot more than some explosives to get rid of me," I grumbled back, but let's get real here; if I hadn't thought to use my chains as a makeshift shield as quickly as I did, we'd all be dead, me especially. I'd literally be in pieces.

When the shock wore off, it was replaced with anger that begged for revenge. I'll show that bitch, just you wait and see. Tryn'a blow me up and shit. She wants to play games like that? We can play games.

I pushed off of him, but let him steady me by my waist and elbow.

"I want her head," I growled. "She ran as soon as she set those off. Coward."

"She must have used that hot water jutsu to melt my ice enough to attach exploding tags to it and run," One theorized. "We'd all be dead by now. We can't make the same mistake again."

Four gave him a "ya don't say" look as I rubbed the side of my head. Something had cut me during the explosion. Probably some of One's ice.

"No duh, One," she rolled her eyes.

Five piped up and said, "That bitch needs to die. Six, can you sense where she we—ooh…" I saw her eyes widen and her cheeks flare red. She was staring in the direction I felt Itachi in.

Huh? Oh wait, I get it! Hah, someone's love-struck. Although, why is Utau's chakra glued to his and why is it in rest-mode? I turned away from my group and saw him carrying her. Something must have happened, and recently. Did the explosion get her somehow?

"U-um… wh-who're those _loser_ s from your village, Six?" Five tried to be cool about it as she crossed her arms, but we all saw through her act. I couldn't blame her though. For someone a few years younger than her, Itachi was a handsome kid. It was easy to crush on him.

Four and I made eye contact. I shook my head and she rolled her eyes.

What a _Tsundere._

"What happened?" My tone was a little more stressed than it needed to be when he made it to our group less than two seconds later. He shot me a small smile.

"I'm happy to see that you're alive as well, Yuzuha," he calmly replied.

I winced.

"Sorry." It's not that I didn't care about him; no way that wasn't the case at all. I just knew, without needing to ask him, that he was okay. Besides, Utau had grown on me over the years. She reminded me of the spoiled little princess I called my younger sister back in my old life. How could I not worry when she's unconscious for no apparent reason?

He shook his head.

"She just fainted." But the look in his eyes told me not to question him, so, clearly she didn't just 'faint.'

"Oh. Okay." 'Cause what else do you say? I'll find out what happened eventually. Itachi was never one to hold back information from me, so long as he wasn't obligated by the village to keep something secret. The others gave him a skeptical look, but the girl from Kiri interrupted anyone from commenting.

"Look, you guys can have your fluffy reunion if you want. I'm tired of waiting here. I'm going after that psycho. Which direction is she in, Six?" Her eyes were smoldering, forcing the answer out of me. What's with her? Where's her team spirit?

Although, I shouldn't really be talking; I'm a loner myself. But at least I know when the situation calls for teamwork-ttebane! I was in a bad mood, and I didn't like her attitude so I straightened up and stepped away from Yusuke, who'd been my human crutch up until that moment. I crossed my arms.

"Did you _not_ hear what Rii said to you earlier?"

She growled; Ms. Diva was _not_ having any of my shit today either.

"The day I listen to Konoha swine is the day I die," she bit back in a low tone.

"Correction: the day you head straight into a battle you can't win is the day you die," I corrected and you can bet I made sure I sounded as condescending as possible. "Also, this 'Konoha swine' just saved your life. The least you can do is work with us."

"Risa, Six has a point. If you're going to go after someone of that caliber at least do it with a plan and a team," Two gently reprimanded. The way he looked at her… it was like a boy that was rejected by the girl he loves. His chakra told me that he was nervous to tell her what she didn't want to hear. He aimed to please; poor kid.

"I'm going home. This is crazy."

We all turned to Shaky and stared at him.

"Eh?" Yusuke voiced all our opinions in one coherent syllable. What the fuck?

"What do you mean you're going home?" I snapped, glaring into his dark brown eyes.

"I mean that this is insane and I'm. Going. Home." He turned on his heel and started walking away. Just like that.

"Are you crazy!" Four ran after him with the harshest tone I've ever heard from her.

"What will you say to Raikage-sama when you get there, huh? Did you think about that!" She placed her hands on her hips, and stared the boy down. His eyes were determined though, and his full lips were set in a straight line.

"It doesn't benefit you to ditch right now. There's another jonin out in those woods and if he or she comes across you, you're dead," One informed. "Besides," he smirked, "don't you want to see how this plays out? We all risked our lives and we're still breathing. Don't you want to make it to the end?" One was very convincing. Shaky was starting to think about it.

It was up to me to drive the last nail into the coffin.

"C'mon Shaky … we need you." I coaxed. "Besides, what do you think will happen to you when you return to your village and admit that you _ran_ from the chunin exams?"

Nothing good, obviously.

He bit his lip with a pained expression. When he sighed and rubbed the curly black hair at the back of his scalp I knew we had him. Running wasn't an option. He'd probably get reprimanded and become the laughing stock of the shinobi ranks if he went back _at best_. Maybe he thinks this is a shithole that's going to kill him, but it's better than the alternative. He has a shot at being praised and respected for staying.

"Alright. How do we live through this?" He asked with determination that was born from the acceptance of his fate, whatever it may be.

He still trembled, though.

I sighed deeply. Time to get back to work.

"Give me a minute." I closed my eyes and when I opened them moments later, I had all the information I needed.

"She met up with the guy trying to kill your group," I said to Itachi, "so I think we should exchange information as quickly as possible. You said that the one chasing you has a blue medallion too? If that's the case, then so long as each group gets a medallion we _all_ move to the next stage. We can beat this exam, but we have to take those two beasts down first. We should all band together."

"We need to find the remainder of my group," Itachi planned.

"Right. I can help locate them."

"It's suicide. I'd rather take my chances killing you all and be the last one standing to _earn_ that medallion." Risa hissed. I guess that's how it worked in Kiri. If you can't prove your strength one way, just prove that you're stronger than those in your rank. Now, I don't mind a little harshness and brutality, but that's excessive.

"You'd kill me too?" Two spoke with cold condemnation, daring her to say 'yes'. Risa flinched.

"W-well… that jonin didn't hesitate… I think this is the example they're trying to set. It's always that one main rule: Kill or be killed." She didn't _want_ to say that but it was the reality of their situation.

"It's not right," Two near-whispered and then shook his head.

"It's how we live," she spoke with conviction.

"Look, this melodrama is entertaining and stuff, but save it for the theatre. We're all getting out of here with those fucking blue medallions. How many of us are there? We're nine, right? How many left in the team other than these seven?" Rii bounced a thumb at Itachi as he asked me the question.

"Um…" I made the tiger sign and concentrated. "Two. They had the sense to hide. They're not in good shape."

"Just two!?" Five screeched. Four put her hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

"That really sucks, Six. Are you sure? Maybe the rest of them are just hiding really well?" Four was trying to be optimistic. How am I supposed to argue that their loved ones are dead? My face must have said it all because Four's hopeful expression slowly melted into a stricken look of shock.

"If that's true… then how did you seven survive?" Risa's question was voiced with a darkness that threatened a fight if the answer was wrong.

"We ran when we were attacked. It was not with honor," Itachi stated as confidently as he could in that situation.

"You left them for dead," Risa hissed. Her chakra flared dangerously, and I gripped the fan still hanging from my wrist tightly. If she lunged at him… there'd be hell to pay for. I'll get into it with her, I don't care. Itachi has. To. Live. Period.

"As captain of my faction I made the best call for what benefitted my group," Itachi eloquently defended himself, as I expected. I felt the chakra pooling behind his eyes, however. He was just as ready for a fight as Risa was. Everyone around us tensed as well, expecting Risa to blow up at any moment. Two was conflicted. Should he raise a hand to the girl he liked? Man I feel bad for him.

"What happened, happened. We need as many able-bodied ninja as possible. If you guys start a fight, we're all screwed. No promotion. Dead. D. E. A. D. Do you guys get that? The nine of us aren't strong enough to fight one jonin, let alone two. You really want to squabble here with consequences like that? We need them, and they need us." Thank you, One, for making sense.

Risa clenched her fists.

"Fuck you, Uchiha. Fuck your mother and your clan. Fuck your face and those stupid eyes. Fuck your village, your bullshit hokage, and Fuck the road that took you here. When these exams are done, I'll come after you and everyone you love. I'll fucking _erase_ you, you hear me!"

I gaped at her.

Rii gaped at her.

I think everyone gaped at her.

Utau groaned, finally starting to wake, but it did nothing to distract from the intensity of the moment.

"We will meet on the battlefield when the time comes." Itachi's tone was dark, but his answer settled Risa enough to make her unclench her fists.

"What _happened?_ My head is killing me…" When Utau realized where she was, she turned beet-red. "I-I-Itachi!" She put her fists against her chest, as if she was afraid people could see her heart hammering through her chest.

"Can you stand?" His tone was so, so cold. He was _pissed_. The river that was his chakra seemed to violently sway back and forth, begging to be released. Can you blame him though? She just threatened to kill his family. Anyone would be on the offensive, even him with his normally calm demeanor.

"Yeah, I think so." When Utau saw me, she gasped.

"Yuzuha!" She gave me a relieved smile, and when she was steady on her feet she crossed her arms and smirked at me. "Of course it would take a lot more than that to take you out, being as stubborn as you are."

I smirked back at her.

"Let's go get those medallions."

* * *

Okay. I've been getting a lot of comments about the errors with the shadow clone jutsu and all that in the previous chapters. They've been edited, 'kay? A lot of people got mad because they found it hard to believe that Shisui would know such a technique, let alone teach it, but keep in mind, he's a genius; a "freak of nature" so to speak just like Kakashi. So yes. He _did_ teach her that technique and _yes_ it is the upper-level shadow clone technique. Also, keep in mind, this part of the story is taking place during a time of conflict, so I'm going to go ahead and just say that I believe Konoha would encourage academy students to graduate as fast as possible and learn other techniques not in the curriculum if they have the opportunity to. Keep in mind, Yuzuha is doing her best to follow Itachi's path as best as possible.

And for everyone who is surprised by her "eh, whatever I'm cool with it" attitude about death and war and her need for/love of power, you have to remember that she's an INTJ with an ultimate end-goal that she'll do whatever is necessary to reach. She's conscientious, fearful of failure and determined. Now, here is where people get her wrong: her favorite defense mechanism is something called "intellectualization," which actually exists in psychology.

She twists whatever she has to into logic so she doesn't have to feel and break down because it's easier for her to think than to feel. That doesn't mean she's emotionless, it just means she has a different way of thinking than most personalities. Also, as someone who has lived through most of her childhood in an abusive household she's bound to already be desensitized to most of the harshness and reality of the Narutoverse as she has experienced a lot of terrible things in her last life. It's the reason why her attitude is as unaffected by her situations as it is. Believe me, you will eventually see a sensitive side of her, but that moment is yet to come. I can totally see how this would piss most people off, because most people don't think that way, but only 2% of the population has this kind of personality.

Anyway, I really hope that cleared a lot of stuff up. Again, whether you guys send me love or hate I appreciate it _all_ truly and genuinely. That being said, I hope you guys enjoyed this!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: blah blah blah


	18. Show Me Your Violence

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|18|

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto:

Yuzuha made friends with most of the six representatives in her group. One is a dark-haired, dark-eyed boy from Grass/Kusa, Two is a blue-haired, blue-eyed boy from Kiri, Three is a gentle strategist from Suna with brown eyes and a head turban, Four is a spunky girl from Kumo with bright red hair, and Five is a blonde-haired tsundere from Iwa.

One made an alliance in secret with Yuzuha and Rii, claiming that his kekkei genkai, the infamous Ice Style is something they'd want on their side. Then the group was attacked by a vicious jonin named Kata who decimated most of their group, leaving only nine survivors: the group of six representatives, a girl from Kiri who hates Konoha with a passion, and a boy from Kumo who the group lovingly nicknamed "Shaky" because of his constant trembling.

The group thought they took down Kata, but as they approached her frozen body, they found out a little too late that she had escaped, leaving exploding tags in her wake. The tags exploded just as Itachi and the Konoha company from the opposing group arrived.

The trauma of seeing Yuzuha "die" activated the mangekyo sharingan in both Utau and Itachi, causing Utau to pass out.

Thankfully, Yuzuha protected herself and the group from the blast with a shield of chakra made from hundreds of yarn-thin chakra chains woven together to form a solid barrier.

Itachi's team of seven met up with Yuzuha's group. Five fell in love with Itachi at first sight, but Risa, the girl from Kiri wanted to kill him on the spot because most of the opposing group with several Kiri genin in it perished because of another jonin that Itachi ordered his group to run from.

Utau finally woke after Risa declared she'd one day kill Itachi and his family and the group decided to rescue two other survivors in the woods, and then go after Kata and the jonin, who both have the blue medallions that both groups need to pass the exam.

* * *

After collecting our weapons, One and Itachi led our coalition into the soggy, dim woods. I was only up front because I knew where everyone was and could keep track of the two murderers looking for us. The other four representatives, Shaky, Risa and the rest of the Konoha group hung back, making our traveling team look like a diamond.

"They're pretty far west from where the two survivors are." I gave my update, as I have been doing every five minutes for the last quarter-hour. "We're coming up on them."

"Good. When we find them we need to discuss what we know about these jonin and how we can defeat them. We need strategies, options, theories, the works," One declared.

"Agreed," Itachi murmured back.

"Stop." I commanded. Everyone froze and landed on a branch nearest to them. "They're down there. In that tree trunk," I whispered. It was covered with moss, which admittedly looked natural. They were quiet as mice and had tried to depress their chakras as best as possible.

"Who's going to get them?" Four asked as if it were a set-up.

"I'll do it," One volunteered.

"Let me help you," I offered. One shrugged and together we jumped to the mushy grass below and approached the tree. One silently counted down with his fingers as we each placed a hand over the moss layer. Three…two…one…

Together we ripped the moss off the tree, exposing the genin inside. The two roared a battle cry and One and I dodged as several kunai and weapons flew at our faces. The two jumped out.

The boy was from Kumo. He was tall with wild, dark hair and dark skin. His sword was pointed at my throat as I raised my hands in surrender.

The girl was from Grass. She had hair as bright as limestone and eyes as pale as ice. With her pasty skin tone and white ensemble that kind of mimicked the boy's, she looked like a ghost. Hey eyes widened when she saw One.

"Daichi-kun!" Her eyes filled with tears and she place her hands near her mouth to stifle a sob of relief.

"Hey, Yuki," One replied confidently and raised his hand in greeting.

"Takeshi!" Four and Shaky jumped down from the branch they were perched on. The Kumo boy's dark eyes widened.

"Ryuko! Atsushi! You're alive!" His reddish-brown eyes lit up as he saw her coming.

"I-I-I thought you w-were dead." Yuki wiped her eyes. "Th-thank goodness you're not."

So One's name is really Daichi, Shaky's is "Atsushi" and Four's is Ryuko. I tried to place the names to the faces and they just didn't fit. They've been "One," "Shaky" and "Four" to me this whole time.

Itachi and the rest of the group jumped down to join us.

"I don't want to interrupt, however, we may not have much time to formulate a strategy," Itachi politely intervened on the reunion.

"Uchiha's right. We need to have a plan for the next time we face them," One agreed.

"That's great because I have one," I smirked. "Listen up…"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, we were all hidden in the trees, save for Itachi's group. They were the bait, the one group the two jonin didn't decimate. We purposefully traveled close to the two jonin so they'd find them. With how expertly everyone was _pretending_ to try to be "stealthy," you'd expect them all to win an Oscar. Right on cue, Manna kicked a pebble hard enough for it to hit a tree trunk and make a small noise. She led out a quiet gasp that sounded pretty authentic to me.

I felt the chakras of both jonin pause. Like wolves, they immediately changed direction in unison and shot in our direction. Everyone tensed when I held up my thumb. That was the signal that meant that they were on their way. I pointed in the direction they were coming from and everyone armed themselves with a weapon.

I unsealed my bow from my arm warmer. It felt natural in my left hand and at that moment, I realized how much I missed it. I nocked an arrow and placed one finger above it, and two below, but I didn't pull back the string. Not yet.

Chakra surged into Itachi's eyes as the two of them appeared within the fog like ghosts. The man who accompanied Kata was the complete opposite of her in almost every way. He wore the standard jonin Kiri attire. His headband was on his forehead, unlike hers, which was attached to her chest in a random spot. His brown hair was neatly slicked back and his blue eyes were calm. He looked like he might have never smiled a day in his life. Both he and Kata seemed about the same age; late teens.

"There you are, little Konoha pigiiiiieeessss," Kata trailed off, her tone dragging into a screechy laugh that irritated my ear drums. I pulled my bowstring back. According to the information our groups shared, the man was much more dangerous than Kata. He used some sort of pinwheel water jutsu that was sharp enough to cut through bone. He was also lightning fast and utilized the shunshin jutsu.

If you ask me he was a little Shisui-wanna-be. Teeny-bopper. I stealthily infused my arrow with chakra. It was going to fly as fast as a bullet and if it didn't hit its mark directly, it would explode around it. I only had a few seconds before the exploding seals etched into the wood of the arrow would go off.

"I commend you and your team for evading us this—

I released it, but he sensed the chakra in it when it got too close to him. He dodged the arrow, thinking he was safe, but then it exploded, taking out his left arm entirely. I was terrified when he didn't scream and instead glared at the tree I was hiding in.

Kata dove to the opposite side of the explosion just in time, avoiding the fire and then foregoing any and all conversation as flew into the trees and came straight at me. I confidently stared death in the face as she lifted a serrated knife to hack me into pieces with. My grip on my bow tightened.

Right on time, three spikes of ice flew at her like cannonballs from the right. She was forced to dodge and changed trajectory, heading for a branch not too far away.

Thank you One, for coming through. I unsealed and shot an arrow at the branch she would land on.

 _Boom_!

I dislocated that tree's arm and watch her begin to fall towards the ground with little control. Down below, I heard fire raging and wood crackling. Itachi and Utau were on their game and I trusted them and the rest of my team to take on the man. Yusuke's lightning sang in the air, raising the hairs on my arms as One, Five and I followed Kata on her way down. Five concentrated hard as she wove signs together with her fingers. She was slow, so I had her start on her attack earlier.

At that particular moment, we acted simultaneously. She finished her jutsu, creating razor-sharp spikes that grew from the ground up and I smacked Kata's torso with a chain hard enough to speed up her fall to her death.

Right before she was to be impaled, the man lunged at her, shoving her sideways, over and away from the pile of spikes. He rolled on the damp grass next to her, blood from his shoulder and other injured limbs flinging everywhere and staining the trees and grass. I noticed that his neck was void of the medallion that had been around it when he first appeared; someone must have taken it. Kata jumped to her feet as we landed on ours next to the spikes. The man was considerably pale and bleeding out on the grass. He wouldn't last much longer and Kata knew it. She didn't bother wasting a second to try to save him. His chakra blew out like an extinguished candle a second later.

The blue team could have dipped at that point and left us to deal with her since they possessed the medallion, but they didn't. Rii spat fire at Kata's feet, trying to burn her leg worse than it already was, no thanks to my exploding arrow, but she shot to her right to avoid the small balls of flame. Itachi followed up with a grand fireball that evaporated the rest of the mist in the area and scorched the surrounding greenery.

Kata countered the ball with one of her own made of water. As the two attacks collided, the hiss of steam snaked through the air, followed by billowy, white clouds. Meanwhile, I nocked another arrow and hung back, tense as all hell as One stood by to deflect anything that would come my way. In a chaotic situation like this one, my instinct screamed at me to move and then to keep moving until I was somewhere safe. It went against every natural thought to stay still in front of a battle of this magnitude and wait for an opportunity to strike.

Imagine being in a room full of screaming kids that are flipping tables and chairs, throwing crayons and pulling at each other's hair. Now imagine not being able to yell at them. That's what this felt like.

Shima dove into the fray with a battle cry, accurately throwing weapons one after another at her. The rest of our teammates who had been busy avoiding Itachi's fire joined in her attack and a moment later, Kata was deflecting and dodging a cloud of weapons with just her serrated knife and a bad limp.

I aimed my arrow, just as my teammates ran out of metal to throw. I shot the arrow and with a smirk, she dodged to the right, assuming that I was aiming at her head, thanks to a flawless genjutsu Itachi cloaked me in that made it _look_ like I was aiming at her head.

Well, joke's on her. Her feet and my arrow hit the same spot at the same time. In fact, I saw the arrow go through her foot before it exploded.

 _Boom_!

Her ear-deafening scream pierced the air and was cut off mid-blast.

 **WARNING! GRAPHIC GORE AHEAD! SKIP TO NEXT BOLDED SECTION TO CONTINUE READING**

Her burnt leg was vaporized and her good leg was flung to the side, the shoe flying off and hitting a tree trunk nearby. Chunks of cooked flesh shot outwards and up and to be safe, everyone fell back to where I was to avoid them. The air smelled like baked pork and Yuki coughed demurely to cover the gagging sound she wanted to make. The top half of her body fell and hit the ground hard. It looked bisected at the waist, except there was no evidence of a clean cut.

 **END OF INTENSE GORE: LONG STORY SHORT: KATA=BOOM!**

Her skin was burnt all the way up to her chin and her clothes and hair were on fire.

We were all breathing hard for a straight thirty seconds after she stopped moving. Yuki broke the silence by falling to her knees and finally heaving up whatever she ate last. I couldn't blame her. Burning hair smelled terrible.

Speaking of which, the first time I smelled it, I ran. That was when I was in high school, by the way. This kid from our group of misfits lost a bet. He had thick curly hair, and he had to set it on fire as per the terms of the bet. Of course, Manny was a smartass. He had to set his hair on fire, but Joe, the kid who set the rules, wasn't specific enough, so Manny took some scissors and cut a lock of his hair, pulled out a lighter and set it on fire in front of Joe. Everyone laughed until that whole enclosed area in front of the cafeteria began to smell _awful_. We evacuated so fast Shisui would be impressed. I can't describe the smell accurately and I hope you don't ever have to smell it yourself.

Anyway, One went over and patted Yuki's back until she felt well enough to stand back up. When she was steady on her own two feet, she started sobbing in relief. We all smiled at one another; we won. We fucking _won_.

"Go get the medallion, Six," Four tossed her head towards the shiny piece of blue metal, its ribbon burning around Kata's neck. I was surprised it hadn't flown off somewhere from the blast. I wrinkled my nose at the thought of nearing Kata's corpse. Someone's gotta do it, though.

So I walked up to the medallion, cut the ribbon, and suppressed the fire burning away at it, stashing the object in a storage seal.

"Let's go before they decide to send us something else fucked up," Rii grumbled.

Keitaro laughed.

"Guys, we _lived_ ," he said it as if we didn't believe it.

"Your plan worked, Yuzuha-chan." Manna smiled.

"Hell _yes_ it did!" Shima threw an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me tightly. I smiled shyly and Utau beamed at me.

"It wasn't all me." I admitted. Because it wasn't. I gave the general layout and Itachi detailed the assault. One made sure that we knew what to do incase things didn't quite work out in battle as they did in theory. If it wasn't for them everyone would have been winging everything and who knows how that would turn out.

"Whatever. Thank kami-sama that's over," she breathed and deactivated her sharingan, rubbing her eyes afterwards.

"Let's _go_. I'm sick of being in these woods, to be honest," Four whined.

"That's a good idea, but which direction do we even go in?" One looked at me, as if I knew. How the hell would I know? I shrugged.

"We should just pick a direction and go straight. We're bound to hit a fence somewhere, right?" Keitaro suggested.

"Which direction, then?" Takashi wondered. We all looked at each other.

"It doesn't matter," Mitashi quietly remarked. He'd been so silent this whole time he almost startled me. _Almost_.

"Let's go that way," Two shrugged, "we better get a move on, because it's afternoon and we probably have a lot of ground to cover."

So we took off in that direction. For a while we were all quiet, so I allowed myself to intrude on everyone's feelings. Shima was happy, as usual, Yusuke was antsy, Rii was a big ball of stress, Keitaro was paranoid, Utau was as lost in thought as Itachi was. Mitashi was annoyed—nothing new there— Shaky was amazed at what he just survived, and Manna was nervous. Yuki felt numb—it was probably her first time seeing carnage of that magnitude, based on her reactions today, so it's normal for her to be trying to block it all out. One was alert, as was Two. Four and Takashi were… totally in fucking love—that's a surprise—Three was as antsy as Yusuke was and Five was frustrated, probably because we weren't hustling as fast as she wanted us to, and Risa… Risa was livid, betrayed, confused. She was a mess of negativity. Turning my attention away from her feelings was like trying to peel off oil.

We had to stop for the night, much to everyone's disappointment. Two felt guilty about the direction he chose, but he didn't say anything about it. No one commented on it, either, because at this point we had traveled so far it just wasn't worth arguing to change directions.

At about nine, I sensed a very familiar chakra. It was our orange-haired captain, plus some others. They were several kilometers west of us.

"Guys, I sense our captain," I called out. They must be doing a perimeter check to see if any of us made it out.

All seventeen members of our coalition looked up at me. Takeshi dropped the firewood he was collecting, Five turned away from the leaves she was gathering for a bed and Itachi dropped his hands right as he was about to ignite our campfire with a fire jutsu.

"I think they're waiting for us. Do we check it out or not?"

The other five representatives looked at each other.

"If it gets us the hell out of here faster, I say _yes_ ," Five raised her hand.

"I agree," One raised his hand.

Three raised his hand and Two followed him.

Four crossed her arms.

"C'mon. You guys really don't think it's a trap?" She grumbled.

"If it is, we'll take it out, just like we did those jonin. I say, if we could survive those two, we can survive anything," Keitaro agreed. Risa took the opportunity to glare at him.

"No one asked _you_. This is for _them_ to decide," she snapped a finger at Two's general direction, "not any of us."

Keitaro raised his hands in surrender.

"Alright, alright. I'm just saying, jeez. Relax, will you?"

"That's sounds like a _great_ idea. How about I start with pulling your teeth out one by one?" She smoothly threatened. Rii's fist clenched, but Two interrupted his retort before he could even open his mouth to say it.

"Four? Your answer?"

"I'm outnumbered. Why does it even matter?" She raised her hand. "I agree, but if this is a trap, I told you so."

"Let's go," Itachi chimed in.

Everyone dropped what they were doing and we all formed a huge diamond, like before, and raced to the west. We found the glorious fence by midnight and beyond that fence were the five jonin that accompanied each team of genin here, plus meanie.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see meanie's face, I swear. Each jonin looked and felt confused at our thinned-out ranks. Except our sensei. He was holding back his happiness at seeing all of us alive. Our group stopped a few meters from them and Itachi and One held up the blue medallions in what only felt like half a victory. I was thankful that everyone from my village survived, but those who lost their comrades… this moment just wasn't as awesome for them, so I couldn't really bring myself to openly enjoy it.

Meanie looked at each of our battered and dirty faces, cleared his throat and then spoke.

"Each of you here has earned the chunin rank by Kirigakure's standards."

I wanted to scream at him that Kirigakure's standards could suck my nonexistent dick after the shit it just put us through, _but_ I didn't want to press my luck. I held my tongue. I could tell that Rii felt the same. The other jounin were shocked and downright angry that this was all that was left of us, but didn't show it. They knew better than to start a war.

"If it were up to me, I would give all of you here a passing mark. However, it is an international standard for us to hold a one-on-one competition. This will take place tomorrow at noon exactly. We have temporary housing prepared for you all. You will all report to the front of the building at 11:30 tomorrow for sorting. Any questions?" Two raised his hand. When Meanie nodded at him, he spoke.

"Will there be any preliminaries or is it straight to the one-on-one battles?"

"There will be no preliminaries, so do your utmost best tomorrow because there will be ambassadors from every village present."

It never ends, does it?

"Please follow your jonin to the housing units."

Wordlessly, we all lined up behind our captain and followed him across muddy ground to a building that looked like it had just been built via earth-jutsu, like, a day ago. It probably was.

There were six floors. Konoha took the top floor, Kirigakure the fifth, Suna the fourth, Kumo the third, Iwa the second, and Kusa the first. Each jonin joined their team on their respective floor. The floor and walls were stone on the inside, as expected, and each room had two stone beds that were attached to the walls. They were furnished with thin, Spartan mattresses and reminded me a lot of the jail cells in the Konoha prison.

There was one window on the wall opposite of the door and in between the beds and no, it didn't have glass. The temperature dropped and if we were uncomfortable… too bad. Tough titties. We couldn't block out the cool air.

We were allowed to pick whichever room we wanted. Most of us just filtered into whichever random one, with whichever random person, since most of us were tired as hell. Of course, I still had a mission and information to weasel out of someone.

Naturally, I tried to stick to Itachi like glue, but as I walked past a door, a hand grabbed my elbow and dragged me past the threshold. I would have gone into kill-mode if I didn't sense that it was Yusuke. He shook me when I was close enough.

"You're _crazy_ you know that!" He hissed. "What made you think it was okay to go up to that psychopath!? Mira-sensei would have stuffed your face down a toilet by now for that!"

I snorted and started laughing and he shook me harder.

"It's _not_ funny!"

"I know, I know, but it is funny at the same time. I'm alright. See? Look, I even have all my limbs." I wiggled around my arms and he dropped his hands from my shoulders.

"Thank Kami-sama for that." He meant it, his brown eyes serious.

"You did great out there, Yusuke," I complemented to relieve the tension in his shoulders. He grinned at me.

"Thanks. I'm glad I didn't _almost get myself blown up_."

"Oh come _on_ , let me live it down will you!?"

"Fine, but don't do something dumb like that again. Did you… did you forget about…"

"No. I haven't forgotten Yusui. I will _never_ forget him," I vowed, "but I'm okay and so is everyone from the village, so don't get rattled and lose your cool now. Our teamwork is ironclad. Remember that."

After a moment he exhaled deeply and nodded. He held out his forearm.

"Good work, Red."

Grinning, I bumped his limb with mine.

"You t—

Footsteps arriving interrupted my response.

"Yo Yusuk—oh, sorry. Did I just interrupt something?" Shima was wide-eyed and blushing in the doorway. I shook my head.

"I was just leaving, Shima. Goodnight." I turned back to Yusuke for a moment. "Take care of yourself." When I walked past Shima I held my fist out. Cheerfully, she bumped it.

"You did great out there," I complemented.

"Are you kidding me? If it weren't for you, One, and Itachi who knows if we'd be here right now."

I shrugged. I just had a general layout for what we would do. It was Itachi that filled in the step-by-step details and One that factored in all of the horrible things we could do to them jutsu-wise.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. Rest up." I reached up, as she was taller than me, squeezed her shoulder, and then left. Her and Yusuke's muffled voices filtered into the hallway as I walked away, feeling for Itachi's chakra. Utau was already in the room with him.

Fuck. There goes my chance to get information. Fuck it. I might as well check on them, right?

I knocked on the door and their conversation died.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh, Yuzu-chan! Of course!" When Utau recognized my voice she was more than welcoming. Her and Itachi were sitting on their respective beds. Itachi's elbows were on his knees and his hands hung between his legs. He looked exhausted.

"You guys alright?"

"Yes," Itachi replied, "but please sit down. We need to talk."

 _Ugh_ I _hate_ that phrase; "we need to talk." I think it makes anyone that's been in a relationship cringe. I kept a straight face anyway, walked in and shut the door behind me.

"What's up?" I leaned against the door after I shut it and crossed my arms.

"It's about what happened earlier," Utau murmured. She looked troubled.

"Right. Want to tell me why you passed out without any visible injuries?"

"Our eyes changed," Itachi supplied.

Mangekyo. Like Shisui. I narrowed my eyes to seem curious so I could successfully keep Shisui's secret. If there was a hint of recognition on my face, Itachi'd pounce on me for sure.

"What do you mean?"

"Itachi-kun, you should show her. I can't do it."

Itachi sighed and lifted his head. He closed his eyes and when he concentrated, his chakra shot towards his eyes. This time, however, he felt different than he normally did when activating his sharingan. Normally, he felt calm and prepared. This time he felt miserable, sad, destroyed, broken. So many negative emotions flooded him during that time that I wondered why he would ever want to use it again.

When I saw Shisui activate his mangekyo however long ago, he didn't feel this way. He felt numb. Why is that? I filed that question away for later as I gazed into the red and black of his eyes with genuine wonder and astonishment.

I really shouldn't be as surprised as I am, but again, there's a difference between seeing this in the Manga and anime and seeing it here and now in real life. There was one candle lit in the window and it cast a shadow on the right side of his face. His right eye glowed in that darkness.

"What do you think it is?" I asked.

"It's dangerous," he replied flatly. I wasn't expecting his bad mood and bit my lip in surprise. When the red faded to his normal black, his eyes were soft, apologetic. He knew he had been snippy. I shook my head the slightest little bit, just to reassure him. I could never blame him for feeling the way he does. He spends so much of his time being in a state of controlled amiability it was almost a relief to see him in a mood.

"If you think it's dangerous don't use it until you know exactly what it is and what it can do. The compound has a secret library somewhere, right? Why don't you go there and see of you can find anything on some other form of the sharingan," I suggested.

"I know," he replied, "I've already thought of that."

"We don't know if we should say something is the real problem. We can deal with being freaks, but the village? Hokage-sama? I think they're going to want to poke around and find out. I don't want my eyes to become some sort of experiment." Utau looked as if she was begging for help. Was that what they were arguing about in such hushed tones, before?

"I know hokage-sama deserves to know everything and have full disclosure on each event and mission we go on, but for now I think it's best to keep that information under wraps." I explained, looking at Itachi, who was gently massaging his eyeballs through his eyelids. He looked up with a blank expression that I realized was actually stern, based on the hard set of his lips. He did a good job fooling others, but not me. I knew him too well.

"It's not right to omit information, Yuzuha. Every fact and event could be detrimental to the future of Konoha and its mission success rate. What if my eyes could make a difference on a mission gone awry but hokage-sama never sent me on it because he didn't know I have this ability? Anything can happen."

Damn him, he's completely right. What do I do? Can I even logic him into keeping his mouth shut?

Probably not. Tears wouldn't work on him either. Itachi was…different from Shisui. Shisui was passionate and he wasn't exactly _swayed_ by his emotions, but, he was too nice. And I only recognized that in him and was able to twist it to my advantage because I myself have been far too nice in the last life. Itachi was beyond that. He'd carve my insides out, slowly and artistically if it was for the greater good. He'd do it with tears running down his face, but he'd do it.

"You're right, Itachi," I acquiesced, "regardless, I agree with Utau, only because I care about you and I'd rather not see you go through any unnecessary or sinister, um… _processes_ just because your eyes changed," I explained. The rest was his decision. He just looked at me for a long moment, during which Utau was so tense I expected her to start biting her dirty, but well-shaped nails. Itachi closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I can't agree with that." He then turned to Utau, "I can, however, agree to keep your eyes a secret. I won't force you to expose yourself in that way if you don't want to, no matter how wrong I believe it is to withhold that information."

And that was probably because he knew it wouldn't be easy for her to activate it again, like she said. Besides, disclosing that her eyes are different against her will would be like raping her. It just wasn't worth it. Her shoulders sagged in relief.

"Thank you, Itachi-kun."

"You guys look exhausted. I'm gonna go crash in someone's room." I pushed off the wall, ending our conversation there. "Sleep tight."

"Goodnight." They both whispered at my back in disharmony.

By the time I left, everyone already had a partner for their room, including our captain. Mitashi was the only person who was left alone, and for good reason. His attitude kind of sucked. And that's why I barged into the room without any care for his comfort. He was already laying on his mattress, the candle providing the only heat in the room. He opened one eye and channeled all of his annoyance into it. I was surprised he didn't roll it when he saw me.

"Go find your own room."

"In case you haven't noticed, there aren't any left. We're at full capacity and I'm not taking the floor, that's for sure," I snipped back as I walked towards my resting place for the night.

"I don't care. Get out."

I stopped in the middle of sitting down on the bed and picked my ass right back up. I marched up to him and before he could bat my hand away, I grabbed his ear and some of his hair on accident and twisted.

"Ah!" He made a fist and threw it at me but I whipped out a chain from beneath my skin and smacked it out of the way.

"Listen. Because I'm only going to say this once," I hissed, "I could have murdered you multiple times in the last week for your attitude, believe it, but I haven't. Wanna know why?" I didn't wait for an answer. And I had no intentions of ever murdering him in the first place, but that's not the point here. "Because you're a comrade, you idiot, and comrades look out for one another. Comrades don't let comrades have a bad nights' sleep so they could be off their game and die in the morning. So you're going to keep quiet and deal with me being in the room and so help me kami-sama if you fart and stink this place up I'll take that candle and shove it right up your nose. Understand?"

He glared at me.

"The window's open anyway, you demon!" He bit back.

Good. That sounds like an agreement to me. I let his ear go and he rubbed it while glaring daggers at me. I made a show of not caring and crashed on the mattress. I missed Yami and Byakuya. I would have had them with me otherwise, but I didn't want to give away too many of my abilities, so I sent them back to their cave before we left Konoha. They missed their family anyway and needed to report to Kuroihi-sama.

Sleep evaded me, as usual. Mitashi fell asleep about ten minutes after our argument and I envied him. Itachi's going to tell Hiruzen about his sharingan and obviously Hiruzen is going to consult Danzo about it. Danzo is going to see an opportunity and jump on it. Itachi's going to climb the ranks at lightning speed now until he's anbu and under Danzo's instruction. What kind of horrors is he going to have to live through now? Ugh! Why can't he just listen to me for once! Can't he see that this is bad for hi—

I almost face palmed.

He's _Itachi_. He doesn't care what pain he has to suffer through for the village. This is where it starts. This is where all the bullshit starts. This is where he begins to slowly make a mess out of his life… and for what? For people that don't deserve his sole sacrifice? He's going to try to do everything on his own from now on. In fact, by not agreeing with him, subconsciously he probably already feels like I'm not on board with any of his plans, and thus, he's going to start hiding shit from me.

I get it. I get the way he thinks. In fact, I shouldn't even really be pissed about it, because who am I to judge? I'm no better than he is in the end, with what I'm planning on doing. But still. I don't want this life for him because he doesn't truly want it for himself. He wants to be a writer one day. He wants to write a book. He doesn't want to cut throats and lead clans and shit. It isn't his thing. But he feels like it's his _duty_.

I exhaled as quietly as I could, taking my own advice and letting Mitashi get the shut-eye he needs.

My thoughts drifted to Shisui. What would he say if Itachi told him about what happened, if he hasn't already?

I decided to send him a message and quietly unsealed a scroll and brush.

 _Shisui,_

I'm anxious. But I can't tell him that.

 _Itachi has attained the mangekyo, like you. So has Utau. Itachi plans on telling jii-chan and Utau is going to keep hers a secret. Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything about yours but I figured you should know. I don't know what to do or say. What are your thoughts?_

Please write me back, ASAP.

When I pushed the scroll through the seal, I felt a lot better. Yeah, I was a lot older than him, but Shisui's been in this world longer than I have. He's been a shinobi longer than I have, but most importantly, he's known Itachi longer than I have. He would know what to do.

Imagine that. I'm twenty four—more than that if you count the years I've been here— and I'm looking to a thirteen-year-old boy for advice and comfort.

Anxiously, I waited for a response, sitting up on the bed and bouncing my leg over and over and over. I felt like I was sixteen again, anxiously waiting for my crush to text back after confessing. That was way back when flip phones were super popular and you had to hit a button four times to enter the letter you wanted.

Danzo is going to find out about the mangekyo… assuming he doesn't already know about it. Which he might. In that case, Danzo is going to find out about _Itachi's_ mangekyo. What happens next, Yuzuha? Think of all the possibilities. See everything and plan for everything. What do I do…what do I do…?

No doubt they're going to push him to do more and more dangerous missions after this exam… in which case, I need to perform well tomorrow if I want to keep up with him. Correction: if I want to have a shot at keeping up with him. Frustrated, I stood up off the bed and left the room, walking down the hall to where there was a large cutout in the stone next to the steps that led to the floors below.

Why did I have to go and almost die? I should have just stayed the fuck away from that stupid icicle. This is all my fault. _My fault_. Couldn't I have just stood there, like a normal dunce? Itachi's going to suffer and it's all my fault. I lost control of the situation. _It's all my fault._

I stared out the window at the cloudy sky that obscured the stars. Goku popped up on my shoulder and I quickly patted his head and took the scroll from his foot, unrolling it quickly.

 _Yuzu_ _! I was beginning to worry; I'm glad you wrote to me. So Itachi and Utau experienced something traumatic, I guess? What happened? Did someone die?_

 _If Itachi wants to disclose what happened, unfortunately, we can't do much about that. It's his decision. If he asks me for help, I'll do my best for him. He'll probably contact me soon so I'll be waiting for his message._

 _In the end it's his body. It's up to him to decide how much of it he reveals or hides. Speaking of hiding stuff, thanks for keeping my secret. When he talks to me I'll tell him about it, and don't worry, I won't let him know that you've known this whole time. I don't think he'd resent you, but I don't want to risk that anyway._

 _Unless you want to tell him. Then that's different._

 _When you get back I'm buying you sushi. I don't know much about what is going on there, but I can glean that it's insane. A delicious meal from home will do you good._

 _Now, because I can't resist, I'm going to tell you to get into bed and sleep! "It's late! You never take care of yourself. You always push yourself too far. You're going to get sick! Grrrrr!"_

 _How does your own medicine taste, Yuzu?_

He drew a quick smirking face and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I stifled the sound with my sleeve as best as possible.

 _Anyway, write back. I'll be waiting._

 _-Shisui-_

With a smile, I patted Goku one more time after he took the read scroll from me, and began writing a response from another little scroll I had sealed up.

 _If only you could see me now, I'd have my hands up. I surrender, Uchiha Shisui. You have me beat. I deserve every word of that scolding._

 _But I bet my savings account that you're just as tired somewhere, in some tree or under some rock, overworking yourself much more than I am._

 _Am I right?_

 _Anyway, thanks for replying. You made me feel a lot better. What transpired over the last five days is going to be hard to explain. You're in for a long story. Just thinking about recounting it is making my head spin. Where do I start? All I can tell you right now is that our shinobi survived the ordeal. Out of forty-two or so candidates, only eighteen survived and all of Konoha's shinobi survived, although that's mostly thanks to Itachi. And tomorrow we're going to fight in the one-on-one battles. I don't know what else to say about that. I don't know who I'll be fighting._

 _As awful as it makes me feel, I don't want Itachi knowing that I know about your mangekyo. Is it wrong that we kept that information to ourselves?_

 _Speaking of which…_

How honest should I be?

…I might as well tell him.

 _I'm afraid that with this new development with his eyes, jii-chan is going to expect a lot out of him and advance him really quickly. I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up!_

 _And you know that I need to keep up. I promised to watch his back. I can't do that if he's leagues away. Am I whining too much or is that a legitimate concern?_

 _You tell me._

 _-Yuzuha-_

I sent the message and waited a little bit. I listened to the rain start to fall outside. As dreary as it was, it smelled beautiful. Rainfall in New Jersey smelled great, yeah, but it wasn't like _this_. This rain smelled crisp and clean and… it's just hard to describe. I've never smelled damp air this good. Or at least I've never stopped to actually pay attention to the smell of damp air this good.

He replied and I eagerly read the note.

 _Yuzu… you sound…lost, for once. I don't think any of those thoughts are wrong or whiny. I would probably feel the same way in your shoes. You should honestly just get some sleep. I think the deprivation is making you more anxious than you should be. Believe me, I've been there._

 _I'm glad no one from our village died. Hang in there and fight as hard as you can tomorrow. Be as brutal and efficient as you have to be because hokage-sama will be there. He left the village yesterday._

 _You're strong, Yuzu. If you weren't you wouldn't be participating in that exam and I'd be a flimsy sensei…_

 _And I think we both know that I'm the best, right?_

 _My point is that hokage-sama will make the right call, advancement-wise. If you don't move up as quickly as Itachi does then you'll catch up in no time at all._

 _Oh, by the way, you got me. I am under a rock… kind of. Does a cave count? I'm tired and I'm by myself aside from one chunin who's sleeping right now. This mission currently sucks._

 _Goodnight, Yuzu. Hang in there._

 _-Shisui-_

I wrote back again.

 _Thanks for everything, Shisui. Goodnight._

…

 _Get to sleep already! You never take care of yourself! You're going to get sick! Grrrr!_

I drew a winking face with its tongue sticking out and sent it. I bid Goku goodnight and leaned my elbows against the sill of the cutout. The rain was peaceful, but not peaceful enough to distract me from the familiar chakra stealthily making its way up the steps. What the hell is Two doing here? Everyone was asleep aside from Itachi, myself and the jonin leaders on each floor. I faced the stairwell and waited for him.

He looked surprised when he reached the top.

"Six… I hoped you'd be up. It figures you'd sense me coming," he said and smirked in approval.

"That sounds like you came here to talk," I replied with an arched brow.

He gave me a smile and nodded. He walked up to the cutout that served as a window and leaned his elbows against it like I did just moments ago. The wind picked up and droplets of rain gathered on the front of his hair.

"I love my village and my country," he began.

…That sounds like it's going to have a "but" attached to it.

"I love it even if it's…harsh."

"To put it mildly," I added. I wish he'd get to the point. When he frowned I knew I was about to find out what that point was.

"I can't stay here anymore, Six. My classmates died today. All of them except Risa and she was willing to kill me over a _medallion_. A piece of metal for a test."

"You love her."

He looked like I just punched whatever mental "glue" was holding him together: surprised and hurt all at the same time. His eyes softened after a second and then he nodded, solemnly.

"I do, but I can't hang onto her or this place, not when I can't trust the shinobi that are supposed to have my back. After today… I don't know what to do."

"You're here because you have a wild idea that involves me. Can you please get around to telling me, Two? It's late and I want to try to sleep."

"Well, I was going to ask you if I could arrange something with your captain. I want to leave Kiri, but I don't want to be a missing nin either. Seeing the way you and your comrades fight showed me what true teamwork is. I just don't see the same unity in any rank here. It doesn't sit right with me."

"You realize that I think you're lying, right?"

I wasn't initiated yesterday. I can spot a potential double-crosser when I need to, even if his chakra didn't fluctuate with anything but general stress. There was no sign that One was lying to four and five however long ago, but he still did. Successfully.

"I know. That's why I'm going to promise to throw my fight tomorrow. I'm going to sneak out of the village at night and hopefully become Konoha's prisoner after that."

I raised my eyebrows. He realized how dumb that sounded and scrambled to tell me more.

"I-I'm not a _complete_ idiot. I was hoping that in exchange for information I can find refuge in Konoha. I wouldn't mind being under surveillance or being demoted to baby-missions at best. Does that sound feasible?"

"Why are you telling me all this?" Why me?

He gave me a shy smile.

"Because I'm about as scared as a hare in a wolf's maw and you've earned my friendship."

That wasn't a lie, or at least I didn't think it was. His body was tense and I saw his fingers twitch every so often; he was terrified of what he was doing. He was plotting treason and the only person he felt comfortable telling was me, if only because I forced him to eat and gave rat's ass about him.

"Come on. I'll take you to the captain," I finally acquiesced.

The only reason why I considered saying yes is because A)He's going right to the captain, who can handle himself, and B) this decision of his benefits me.

Say he _is_ telling the truth, as outrageous as it is. I just brought home a complete map of Kirigakure _plus_ knowledge of what has been going on there since the borders closed.

If Two is being honest and this works out, I technically completed the mission Hiruzen gave Itachi and I. Like, with flying fucking colors. I led him down the hall, keeping my guard up just in case. We made it to the captain's door and knocked. He cracked it open, his orange hair even brighter as it was back-lit by the warm candle on the other side of the room.

"Yes?" He narrowed his eyes when he saw Two behind me. "Who is that and why is he here?"

Right to the point, Michiru-sensei. Maybe he's too tired for bullshit too.

"I'm just here to drop off the problem, sensei. The rest is entirely up to you."

This is beyond my pay grade. Without another word I turned, patted Two on the shoulder, ignored his quiet protests, and then finally went back to my room. It took me some time to fall asleep, but eventually, I crashed.

* * *

The next morning, shit got real. At eleven-thirty everyone was hustled across the still-deserted village to this huge pit. Like, I'm talking, crater-sized pit. It was about as deep as the hokage building and as barren as the desert Suna was located in. There were rocks and puddles of mud everywhere and one little oasis the size and depth of an above-ground pool.

Above this rectangular pit was a bunch of stone bleachers, one set on each side. I'm not even joking. That's it. That's where the fire and water daimyo were sitting, right next to the hokage and mizukage respectively on opposite sides of the rectangle. Jii-chan had two cloaked and masked anbu flanking him. One, I recognized based off of his chakra signature. It felt like lightning and the damp calm before a storm. The other one was a mystery, but felt unnaturally calm. You could fall asleep on that guy if you wanted.

I gazed up at Yagura. It was strange how childlike his face looked beneath his kage garb. He only had one masked sentinel and the guy was covered from head to toe in a white mask and light blue cloak. I pretended to stare down into the "grave" as I studied Yagura's chakra.

There were two chakras, as expected. One for him and one for his tailed beast, deeper within. I had to search even deeper to find the third chakra. A tiny splash of poison in his spiritual system, spread so thin that you could barely tell it was there.

And it mirrored his masked right hand man's energy.

Obito.

I wish I had hatred for the guy, but I don't. Do I pity him? Yes. He was so lost in his grief he let himself get taken advantage of. Part of me was so disappointed in that, I almost wanted to say he was immature, but that would be cruel and mostly untrue. I've had people I loved dearly die, even in the last life, but I have never had a lover die. Ever. If Tom died, how would I feel and what would I do? Maybe I _would_ turn into a monster, just like Obito. Maybe, if I had power like he did to change the world, I would, no matter who suffered because of it. At his age when that tragedy happened, it's no wonder he lost his shit.

Either way I can't talk out of my ass if I've never been in his shoes. One thing is for sure, though: he has to go down.

"We will pair you randomly," Meanie announced, "but first, a word from our kage." He turned and motioned to Yagura with an open palm. Yagura stood up, straight-backed and blank-faced.

"You have all proven that you posses the strength both mental and physical to become chunin. You must now prove your ruthlessness. In this arena, you fight to the death, or until someone clearly forfeits. There will be no one to step in to save you, so fight to the best of your capability and properly represent your villages."

On that note, a few Kiri residents and some people in fine clothes seemingly from all over the continent filtered into the area and took their places on the bleachers beneath the two present kage. The anbu at jii-chan's side stiffened. They didn't like the general population near him. If someone so much as twitched the wrong way there would certainly be blood.

Meanie pulled out a box and reached his hand into it. He pulled put two slips of paper and read them.

"Match one will be Nagano Risa versus Uchiha Itachi."

I winced. What are the odds of that, man? This is going to be one hell of a match, of Risa's earlier threat is to be taken seriously.

"Please enter the testing area," Meanie instructed and my level of anxiety spiked as I felt the bloodlust flow through Risa's chakra. Itachi was determined to win and quickly too, if the look on his face said anything.

The two dropped down and made eye contact, one glaring, the other calculating.

"Begin."

Risa lunged at Itachi like a lightning strike sent from the heavens. She pulled a kunai out of the pouch on her hip. Itachi just stood there and activated his sharingan.

"Die, Uchih— _aaaaaaahhhhh!_ "

Very suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch, she dropped her kunai and fell to her knees, holding her head tightly, screaming up into the cloudy sky. Her eyes were wide, olive saucers, seeing horrid things we couldn't.

I have never seen such a cold look on Itachi's face. I've seen him get angry but this… this was on a whole other level. This was intentional malice and I wasn't expecting myself to be as shocked as I am. I had gotten used to the sweet and warm Itachi that accompanied me to festivals and whispered about ideas for his novels. This Itachi… this was the Itachi that tortured Sasuke in canon. This was the Itachi that didn't blink when he stabbed Kakashi a million times and then called his little brother weak. It sent a chill up my spine, but I knew that I was capable of that kind of malice as well. We all were.

As she writhed on the floor, stuck in some horrible genjutsu, she shakily put her hands together, gritting her teeth as if she were being held back by chains of some sort.

She broke free of the genjutsu after she screamed "kai!" with a battle cry, but it was pointless. As soon as she was out of it, Itachi effortlessly cast another one on her and her suffering continued.

I looked around the stadium. Almost everyone had a profound look of shock on their face. Jii-chan's face was stony. My peers looked green. Yusuke couldn't look.

Itachi was fulfilling his orders: _Make them fear us._ What better way to do that than display a ten year old kid with unnatural eyes that can make someone suffer without even twitching his little finger?

I watched and listened to Risa's torture. I bit my lip in stress as tears streamed down her cheeks. Whatever Itachi was showing her was horrific and it made me cringe. If it wasn't for keeping up appearances, I would have covered my mouth in shock.

Eventually, she fell over into a fetal position, shaking and crying.

"Finish the match," Meanie instructed.

Itachi looked at him for a moment before replying.

"Let her suffer. I forfeit the match." He raised his hand, defiantly staring into Meanie's eyes.

You would think that it was cruel of him to leave her like that, but in his eyes, at least she wasn't dead. She could recover, maybe. Maybe.

The civilians in the stands were wide-eyed. With how much pain Risa looked to be in, they almost wanted Itachi to kill her just so she'd be out of her misery. His act was flawless. The spectators, all of them save for the few that knew him, believed him.

He walked away from the match and without permission, Two jumped down and picked Risa up. Meanie gave him a hard, disapproving look, but didn't say anything as Two gently placed her on the ground next to him. She was still shaking and her eyes were still wide open. He placed two fingers to her temple, interrupted the flow of her chakra and broke Itachi's malevolent genjutsu. She passed out cold. Life moved on.

Meanie pulled two more names out of his box.

"Match two will be Sanada Rii versus Shidehara Ryuko. Please enter the test zone."

When both competitors were in the pit, Meanie signaled the beginning of the match. Neither Four or Rii moved.

The heavy mist weighed Four's hair down and gathered on Rii's eye lashes.

"Not gonna make a move, baldy?" Four sneered. Rii glared at her.

"Not gonna fall for your shitty taunts is more like it, baboon's ass."

Ooooh. Ouch. The comment was directed at her hair and should've stung me too, but I didn't care.

Four was more sensitive than that.

"I'll hang you by your intestines, loser."

"Makes sense. Baboons are good at that sort of thing," Rii replied in a nonchalant tone. He should have been casually looking at his nails with the way he was talking to her, but his muscles were as tense as a cowboy ready for a shootout to start.

"Burn in hell!" She threw four kunai at him that he dodged. She expected where he was going to move and threw a tagged kunai there just seconds after her first wave of knives. He was expecting that and threw his own tagged kunai at hers. The two knives met and exploded between them and both shinobi took the dust cloud as an opportunity to strike.

I couldn't see anything, but I could hear the sounds of skin hitting skin and metal parrying metal. They were starting off with taijutsu. When the cloud cleared they appeared as a mess of red and tattered clothing of different colors, dancing around each other. If Rii was smart he'd get some distance between himself and her and then start dousing her in fire.

As I watched, it became clear that that's what he was trying to do. He was hacking and slashing at her eyes, throat, head—any vital upper body organ just to get her to step back a bit, but she was ruthless and flexible. He swung at all sorts of angles and she just twisted out of the way, parried when necessary and stayed as close to him as possible. She had seen him fight and knew what his style was like.

Rii had finally had enough and twisted his body, smirking as she flung forward in the middle of pushing back against his kunai. He was going to rotate and slash at the back of her neck, but I had a feeling Four had the upper hand. She was smirking, too. She tugged on something.

Ninja wire. We had all missed it because the sky was so gray it obscured it's near-invisible shine. Rii stopped dead in his tracks, feeling the twine against his neck as it cut his skin. His blood followed the neat thread, obediently flowing towards Four's hand, where she held the web of death together.

The wire cut into the skin around his wrists and ankles, immobilizing him and tearing into his clothes in certain spots. He visibly grit his teeth against the pain. One wrong move and she could turn him into a chopped vegetable.

"Forfeit," she commanded.

His eyes bounced left and right over and over, trying to find a way out, but he was a cornered rat. Finally he shut them, dropped his kunai and exhaled.

"I forfeit," he called, loud and clear.

"Victor: Shidehara Ryuko!"

There were no cheers. Just acceptance and a couple of proud smirks from Shaky and Takeshi. She loosened the wire around him and let him wiggle out. The petty look he gave her was so comical and childish he may as well have crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out. She flashed him a peace sign and joined us above the pit. Surprisingly, Rii took the spot next to her. They murmured to each other as Meanie picked two more names.

"Next match will be Uzumaki Yuzuha versus Sekozawa Daichi."

One was just as surprised as I was. Me against One? That's a dangerous match. I didn't stop to visibly gawk or anything and threw myself down into the pit.

One stared me down, his expression as blank as a doll's. Out of curiosity, I zoned in on his chakra, wondering what he was feeling. Reluctance, conviction, mild excitement. All the things you normally feel when you're about to spar with your friend.

Only this wasn't a friendly spar. This was Kirigakure and One is a boy from a village that isn't mine. I _have_ to perform well. Jii-can is watching. I need to prove that I'm just as dangerous as Itachi.

"Begin."

We lunged at each other. I unsealed a kunai from my arm warmer just as he plucked one from the pouch on his leg. His kunai wasn't as sharp as mine. He must have either found it or bought it second-hand and sharpened it himself as best as he could. Clearly, Kusa was suffering financially, maybe. Maybe it was just his personal situation. Either way, my kunai set was a gift from Hiashi for my birthday last year, and they were _sharp_.

Though, despite all of this, One didn't look like he would lose today. His midnight eyes were sharp, focused, and promising. He didn't look like he wanted to kill me, but if it came down to it he could.

We met in the center of the space that was formerly between us, sparks flying the moment our weapons locked. We both shook from the sheer strength of the other's attack.

"Give me everything you got, Six!"

With a grunt of effort, he shoved me back so hard I flew and then swiped at me with another kunai he picked out of his pouch.

I back-flipped to dodge, and then ditched my kunai and unsealed my fans mid-flip. He had closed the distance between us during my time in the air, but my arms were flying at his face before my feet touched the ground. He parried my attacks with his kunai, my fans chipping at the metal. If he keeps striking me with that much force, the tips of his knives are going to snap off. They can't handle it.

I horizontally slashed at his middle, but he jumped back, throwing both kunai at my face. I brought up my other fan to guard and his knives bounced off of it.

He took the moment I was blocking my face to throw a smoke bomb between us, obscuring everything in ashy grey. The air grew cold, but didn't displace the smoke.

I felt like we were in the cloudy sky above. I couldn't see anything and before I knew it, I had just barely dodged an icicle that managed to cut the sleeve of my haori, right through to the skin beneath it. My arm warmers were long and they went up to my elbows, but the icicle just happened to get me right above them and right under where the sleeves of my dark shirt stopped. What are the chances of that!? Either he's really accurate or my day is starting to suck.

I unpinned my headband from the destroyed fabric and ripped off the sleeve. I had seconds to tie the headband around my eyes and focus. The cut would have to wait to be treated, but now that I was bleeding, time was running out. There was no point in healing myself, it would be a waste of a scar. But if I keep bleeding, I'm going to get light-headed eventually. He's not fucking around.

Two can play at this game.

Razor sharp icicle after icicle flew at me, but I read the chakra within each one and dodged. I let One's frustration build up until I saw him coat his arms in chakra and lunge towards me.

I didn't want to expose him and his lineage, so I refrained from using a wind jutsu to clear the smoke and let him come at me, hoping he'd tire out before I did.

I dodged and continued dodging, reading his body language off of the images in my mind to calculate my next move. I was so focused on his body movements, I didn't catch the frozen sheet of ice building around us until I stepped on it and slipped, falling backwards. He took the opportunity and shot towards me with his ice-coated arm, but this time, I wasn't fucking around either.

As I flew backwards, bidding my balance goodbye, chakra chains shot out of my left leg and right hand. The chain from my leg cracked against his ice like a whip and shattered it, cutting the inside of his forearm in the process, based off of the smell of his blood in the crisp air. The chain that shot from my hand embedded itself into the ground and I used it as an extension of my arm to do a back-hand spring and land on my feet, facing him right after he stumbled backwards, wincing from the pain and halting his attack. I couldn't see his expression but I could feel the tension in his chakra.

"One, I know why you don't want anyone here to see what you can do," I whispered. I didn't want to risk anyone hearing our conversation.

"What is that statement a prelude to? Are you threatening to dissipate my smoke?"

"I can, if you don't back down," I threatened. I didn't want to fight him and I didn't want either of us to end up in a bloody pulp, because at this rate we would. I _had_ to use the fact that he can't be here wielding the ice-style to my advantage.

The air warmed up again to its regular temperature, which was good because I was beginning to fucking shiver standing in place.

"I don't need my bloodline limit to defeat you anyway," he murmured darkly.

This little brat! I heard another smoke bomb go off and just in case it was knock-out gas of some sort, I covered my nose and mouth with my remaining sleeve. I jumped as high as I could, exiting the cloud with a trail of smoke that I felt against my bare arm following me, but it soon became clear that he was only using the chemicals from the second bomb to cancel out the smoke from the first one.

I pulled my forehead protector down to my neck and opened my eyes. After I adjusted to the light and colors, I saw that his dark orbs were intense, almost angry. He had something to prove here and I just happened to be getting in his way. His determination matched my typical relentlessness and now I understood why I scare people sometimes. Seeing a person like that coming at you makes you feel small.

Well, it's a good thing my confidence can make up for that.

My chains rose from beneath my skin like wispy apparitions rising from their graves. He pulled out a kunai as if it was all he was going to need.

Neither of us would find out how our fight would turn out, because that was when several explosions went off around us, startling the audience and causing the other contestants to jump back.

I tried to keep my eyes open and coughed out the dust from my lungs as mud sprayed across my face. Two high-level shinobi surrounded One and I. I heard the clang of metal against metal and when I could fully open my eyes again, I saw that One had deflected several shuriken that would have disabled me if they hit their mark. We put our backs together and faced one Kiri jonin each.

"What on earth is going on?" I only half-panicked because I had a feeling some shit would go down here.

"I have no idea, but we're in trouble," One murmured back to me over his shoulder.

"Your kunai suck. Stick to me when they come at us and I'll toss you some of mine," I ordered.

"Sounds like a decent plan."

"Step aside, Sekozawa Daichi. Our orders don't involve you or your nation," one of the men commanded. He wore a typical Kiri jonin outfit and headband. His hair and bangs were long and navy-colored. His eyes were a curious gold that reminded me of Yusui.

"What _are_ your orders?" I was just about to ask that, but One beat me to it.

"Keh, cheeky kid. That's none of your business. Back off or die." The other jonin, dressed identically to the first, had short brown hair that curled around his temples and forehead and brown eyes that would be warm if not for the cold look in them.

"Like hell," One bit back, as feral as a cat. Why is he defending me?

He grabbed me by the back of my haori and jumped, pressing one foot against the wall of the pit near us and then pushing off again to make it to the top all as I flailed around like a plastic bag in the wind behind him.

He let me go when he landed and I was shocked to find several Konoha jonin locked in battle with several Kiri jonin, all dressed as the civilians and guests that were on the bleachers before.

They had suppressed their chakras to the point where even I couldn't sense their power. How did they do that? I looked around the chaos and found the two daimyo cowering beneath the seats, hoping no one would notice them. Jii-chan was locked in an earth-shattering battle with Yagura and I had no idea where the fuck to begin until I remembered that One saved my ass and needed weapons because the jonin from below were bound to catch up to us in seconds.

I unsealed a whole pouch of kunai and nudged his shoulder with it. That seemed to snap him out of his surprise at the scene. He grabbed the pouch and clipped it to the bandages fastened over his pants on his right leg.

Two through Five joined us, and our backs touched just as the jonin launched over the edge of the pit, flinging water and knives at us. I parried most of them with my chakra whips and heard a cry above the chaos.

"Defend the jinchuriki!" It was jii-chan, and as One and Four shoved back the jonin that had clashed weapons with them, Itachi, Shisui, and one of the two masked anbu flashed in front of me, weapons at the ready.

I had a feeling that jii-chan's order didn't apply to either of the Uchiha, but they followed it anyway. The rest of the Konoha competitors fell back to form a circle around my small group of leaders.

I couldn't help but feel a little weak. I could defend myself-ttebane!

"Stick close, Yuzu." Shisui ordered from in front of me as two more jonin showed up to circle around our rag-tag team of different countries.

"This is a matter that doesn't involve any other country. You three should take your comrades and leave," Itachi calmly addressed Three, Four, and Five over his shoulder and next to Shisui.

"Are you insane?" Four was annoyed.

"They'll kill us!" Five glared.

"Uchiha-San is correct. They didn't care for One. We should leave while we still have the chance. The tides may turn soon and their orders may become to get rid of us all," Three reasoned.

"You guys should go." Two agreed. Four groaned.

"I suck at retreats," she complained.

"If I ever see any of you guys on the field in the future, I'm sparing you," Five announced. "You better give me the same respect."

"You better survive, too, you hear me, Six and Two!?" Four sounded emotional. Have we all become friends over the last week?

"We'll cover your retreat," Itachi offered.

"Utau's on her way anyway," Shisui smirked and on cue, a huge fireball rushed at one of the jonin just as he lunged towards our group. I shot my chains out further, threatening the other enemies in our vicinity by whipping them back and forth in front of their faces, forcing them to dodge. It gave Three, Four and Five the opportunity to leave without having to engage in battle.

I saw them run off to the side, where their comrades were waiting for them near the bleachers. Even though they were jounin, they looked just as surprised as I was when I first saw the fighting. What Itachi theorized was true; I was Kiri's target. This battle was between Konoha and Kiri. Kiri was probably using the other countries as witnesses and messengers. They wanted news of this incident to spread.

"What are you still doing here?" Itachi glared at Two over his shoulder, just as Utau jumped into the center of our circle to catch her breath. There was fire all over us now and it wouldn't be long until we were going to be doused in water and forced to separate.

"And you! You should be gone by now. Why are you still here, anyway?" Utau huffed and then jabbed her finger into One's back. He smirked over his shoulder.

"Just 'cause," One replied.

"That's the biggest lie I've ever he—

Three huge water balls with razor sharp waves rolling off of them came flying our way from all directions.

"Daichi-kun!" Yuki cried from somewhere. I couldn't see her as I was rolling out of the way, under one of the balls.

Fire met water somewhere and warm steam hit my skin as I righted myself. My cut stung as mud got into it.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to cut it off but when I realized it was One I stopped short. He was smiling.

"I can tell you're going to be important some day. I would rather stay here and see you make it, but I can't abandon Yuki. I'll see you somewhere eventually, Six. It was a pleasure working with you and your comrades."

I shot him a smirk as an explosion went off somewhere, forcing us to hunch out shoulders and cover our heads. Little pebbles bounced off of my fan after I opened it to shield the side of my face.

"Did you learn what you needed to?"

He smirked back.

"That and more," he replied.

I bumped forearms with him and with a final nod he took off. The Konoha anbu landed in front of me, parrying a hard, metal chain that wasn't mine with a sword. It was Obito, wielding the chains he used during his fight with Minato in canon almost as well as I did mine. The earth shook from Hiruzen's fight and the other anbu summoned lightning into his palm. A screeching filled the air: chidori. The other anbu was Kakashi. Rage and killing intent filled the field as their fight intensified.

A shinobi in a blue hood and mask lunged at me from the front and I cut his sword hand off with a chakra whip as I ducked and whirled out of the way. The anbu stuck to me like glue, sometimes saving me and sometimes fighting alongside me when we became overwhelmed.

It quickly became obvious that even though the Konoha forces were holding their own, we were severely outnumbered. Hiruzen could only sneak so many shinobi into Kirigakure and enemy shinobi of all ranks were joining the fight; women, children, and men. The ones that weren't here at the beginning must have heard the commotion from deeper within the village and ran toward the action. A lot of them were easy to dispatch, but some made me worry for the anbu protecting me. He hadn't yet resorted to using nature manipulation, but I wanted him to, just to be on the safe side. He stuck to his sword and kunai stubbornly.

Slowly, we battled our way towards the fire daimyo, cowering behind Itachi as Shisui teleported from place to place, cutting shinobi down one after the other. Those who met his sword met their deaths and those who decided to gang up on him met his eyes and were left catatonic long enough for Shima, Utau, Manna and the rest of the group to take care of. We had fanned out from the backside of the bleachers, making a half-circle around them. Shisui was all over the place, providing support everywhere almost at once.

I was horrified to see Rii wounded, hunched over Keitaro, who had a huge gash on his stomach. Yusuke was defending them, lightning harnessed in his arms and flying towards his enemies. Shisui jumped in every so often, but it was clear that the jonin that was attacking them was giving him problems.

Another wave of Kiri reinforcements showed up to attack us. We were all getting tired. Most of them came at me like zombies from whatever game or movie you can think of. I started shooting gusts of wind at them from my fans, smacking them with whips of water and chakra; anything I could possibly do to keep them away from not only me, but my comrades as well. Yusuke quickly joined me, but we couldn't use our lightning and water combo attacks with this many Konoha shinobi around.

This is becoming pointless. I flipped a twelve-year-old genin over my shoulder where Shima impaled him on her spear, tossing his body at a jonin locked in battle with the anbu of our group. The move helped, as it threw the jonin off-balance but not by much. We didn't have time to feel disappointment.

"We need to think of something, quickly. We're surrounded!" Manna shouted as she dropped to her knees to heal the gash on Keitaro's stomach. Tears were streaming down Rii's face as he held his friend close. He wasn't sobbing, but I could tell he was horrified that Keitaro would die.

We need to push the enemy away long enough to be able to retreat.

Shisui flashed next to me, cutting the older shinobi that thought he could get me by slashing at my wounded arm.

"Anbu-san has a plan. I need you to jump to the front and cut as many of them down as you can with your chains," he instructed calmly, despite the blood and dirt caked on his cheek, neck and hair.

"Got it."

"I'll cover you. Let's move!"

I booked it through the sea of clashing soldiers, weapons and jutsu. Bodies fell all around me as Shisui did his job with startling efficiency.

Once I was front and center, I flung my whips in a wide, horizontal arch. Some approaching shinobi stopped, some that were close jumped back. Those that were locked in battle were bisected as my comrades jumped back several meters and left their enemies in the way of my attack.

Right on time, a huge wall of wood shot up from the earth between our side and theirs with startling speed. It was now clear that the anbu tasked with defending me was Yamato.

Every standing fire-nature shinobi we had on hand climbed the wall in two chakra-assisted steps and set everything in front of it on fire. No one wasted any time. As we began to sweat in the hot air from the sheer heat behind the wall, our orange-haired captain blew a hole through the stone bleachers behind us and hauled the fat daimyo over his shoulder as he shot through the exit. We all followed one by one, risking our lives to carry our wounded.

I was one of the last few out, right next to Shisui and the fire breathing shinobi on top of the wall that helped us escape. I thought I could run away with the rest of them, but that wasn't the case.

As soon as we ran into an open space just before the wall surrounding Kirigakure, Yagura came down upon my group like an automated demon from hell, his expression completely blank. The earth shattered beneath him and he even managed to surprise Shisui, catching his temple with a backhand as he landed between us. Shisui flew to the side, his body limp as he reeled from the strike to his head. The shinobi around us were so startled they couldn't move for a second.

During that second, rocks were lifting around me and I stumbled. I stumbled so badly I broke my leg. First, I heard a crack. Then, I accidentally looked down to see my shin bone slicing through my skin and jutting out in front of me. Then, I felt the pain. I screamed, my mind lost in the sting and swimming in red hurt as I landed. The broken bone stabbed the rock beneath me and I screamed more. The pain was so unbearable, throwing up wasn't an option. The scenery spun around me like some sick merry-go-round from hell, and finally, my eyes shut because they'd seen too much.

* * *

Man that was a doozy of a chapter. Sorry it took so long, but I genuinely hope you guys enjoyed it.

Anyway, **my anonymous guest reviewers** :

YOU GUYS ARE THE REAL MVP! I can't tell you how much hope and support you guys gave me this time around. I love my signed reviewers as well, of course, but you anons really came through for me and I need you guys to know that. I never wanted to thank someone so much. Especially you, NatNicole. Your review was simple, but it made me feel so not alone.

You guys are gon' make me cry ;_;

Anyway, I love you all, seriously. I wish words could express how wonderful you all are and have been. *hearts hearts hearts XOXOXOXOXOXOXO*


	19. Winding Down

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!:

 **HUGE RECAP PLEASE READ I promise this is relevant!**

Yuzuha and Itachi's groups met up together after realizing that they were both being hunted by ruthless Kiri nin.

Yuzuha's group consists of:

One/Daichi- Dark hair and eyes, tall, from Kusa, dark clothes. Is a mastermind strategist and user of the ice style.

Two: Messy-ish blue hair and matching eyes, wearing typical Kiri garb. Has a kind soul, but isn't afraid to bring it on when necessary.

Three: Quiet, gentle boy from Suna. Wears his head covered, has brown eyes and typical Suna clothing.

Four/Ryuko: Bright, red-haired spunky girl from Kumo. Isn't afraid to speak her mind and wears a mishmash of white/grey clothes. Can talk some shit and back it up. Made quick friends with Rii.

Five: Sandy blonde hair, from Iwa. Wears typical Iwa garb and clicks well with Four, kind of emotional, but typically keeps to herself and observes the others.

Takashi: Dark skin, dark hair from Kumo. Has a relationship with Ryuko. As of yet, no one's known him long enough to really get a feel for his personality.

Yuki: Pale almost white blonde hair, pale blue eyes, pale skin, wears white. Gentle girl from Kusa. Depends on One heavily for emotional and mental support.

"Shaky"/Atsushi: A nervous Kumo nin in typical Kumo garb. When he gets into battle he shakes uncontrollably. Curly black hair and dark eyes. Hates every part of the exam and wants to go home. I don't blame him, to be honest.

Risa: Girl from Kiri with Olive eyes and ashy green, wavy, long hair. Two loves her, but she made it clear that she'd kill him if it meant passing the exam. She hates Itachi with a passion for running/retreating when the other groups were being attacked by the other Kiri jonin out to get them.

Itachi's group consists of:

Rii: Shaved head, brown eyes, wears his headband like a bandana. Curses a lot and has an attitude. He started the exam on really bad terms with Yuzuha, but they learned to get along with each other throughout the test. They became friends through the hardships in the previous chapters, realizing that they actually think a lot alike. He wears a bright red tunic and black cut-off pants. From Konoha.

Manna: Wavy blonde hair, soft, green eyes. Gentle spirit, apologized for hanging out with Yuzuha's bullies in the academy and became friends with her. On a three-man team with Rii. Wears modest clothing in a purple/black color scheme. From Konoha.

Keitaro: Longer shaggy blonde hair and rusty orange eyes. Mature, tall, wears fingerless gloves, wears a blue zip-up tunic and black pants tucked into boots. From Konoha. On a team with Manna and Rii. Has an amiable attitude and a cool head. Really good friends with Rii despite Rii's potty mouth and attitude.

Shima

Utau

Yusuke

Mitashi- brown hair, worn slicked back, brown eyes. Wears a neat white tunic with a fancy ribbon to tie it together by his shoulder. Is good with swords, but has a really rotten attitude. Like, no one really likes him. Placed on Yusuke and Yuzuha's team for the time being. Sucks up his personal feelings for the sake of the mission.

This group of eighteen managed to defeat two Kiri jonin with great effort, got the two medallions required for them to pass, and moved on to the one-on-one battles. Yuzuha realized she could make a shield out of her tiny chakra chains, Itachi and Utau awakened their mangekyo sharingan. Two decided to secretly defect from Kiri, as he felt betrayed by Risa's willingness to kill him, and the two jonin mercilessly attacking him, despite being from the same village. Itachi decided that he'd tell the village leaders about his eyes and Utau decided to keep hers a secret, although she doubted she could ever have her sharingan transform again. During the one-on-one matches, Yuzuha sensed Obito's chakra within Yagura and her fight with One was interrupted by explosions that started an all-out battle between Kiri and Konoha shinobi who snuck in disguised as spectators for the matches. Kiri's goal was to take the kyuubi, and they made it clear that their bone to pick was with Konoha. Thus, they allowed to let the genin and their jonin leaders from the other countries escape, if only to spread the word that Konoha was outnumbered within Kiri's walls. Before they left, the genin all promised to have each other's backs if they ever met on the field again. Kakashi and Tenzo were Hiruzen's escorts. Tenzo's job was to get Yuzuha to safety, while Kakashi's was to support Hiruzen in his battle with Yagura, who had cloaked himself in chakra from his tailed beast, and Obito who was nearby to control him.

Finally, Tenzo and Kakashi were badly needed on the field, so it became Shisui's duty to get Yuzuha the hell out of the country and back in safe territory. Unfortunately, Yagura caught up to them, bashed the side of Shisui's face, sent him flying head-first into a tree, and broke Yuzuha's leg. Our main character passed out from the shock and pain.

* * *

Itachi heard the earth beneath his feet break apart before he saw it. The hairs on the back of his neck and on his arms rose in response to the demonic chakra that scraped across his mind like metal claws on stone. He recognized the voice that cracked in pain as it shrieked in a way he had never heard it before: Yuzuha; she was hurt.

He spun on his toes, ready to tackle the problem, no matter how gruesome it may be.

When his cursed eyes drank in the scene, time seemed to stop. The pebbles and stones flying at his face ceased to matter. The dampness of the ground creeping between his toes ceased to matter. The sounds of dying men and explosions further back ceased to matter.

His cousin was limp against the trunk of a tree and Yuzuha… to say she was "mangled" would be an understatement. He could clearly see the bone of her leg protruding out of her skin at an odd angle. It was whiter than the whitest of fabrics and even in the dim, misty environment it practically shone like a pearl.

His shock gave way to fury almost instantly as the boy kage, Yagura— if Itachi had his name right— gripped the hair near her pallid face, lifted her, and then dragged her body across jagged stone and soiled mud behind him as he retreated. Itachi knew she had lost enough blood already, and the trail of scarlet her leg was leaving behind spelled death for her. Yagura was carelessly tearing her clothes and shredding her skin beneath. She was an inch away from death, two, if she was lucky.

He is hurting her.

She isn't conscious.

Shisui is unable to help.

He is _hurting her_.

He felt the pressure building behind his eyes in his desperation. He was too far away from the pair and the Mizukage was moving too quickly. He would lose her if he didn't act. She would die and it would be because he wasn't fast enough. The wild beating of his heart seemed to slow and like the blood running from Yuzuha's body, a sharpness bled over his sight that he had experienced only twice before. He felt heat behind his left eye, a heat that seared and begged to be released. He obliged it and his eyes had changed again and once again, they were powerful enough. They would save her. Itachi saw the muscles of Yagura's calves tense. The pink-eyed leader was preparing to jump, and would be lost to him soon, but his eyes were faster. Yagura's knees bent. He was almost gone and Itachi's heartbeat almost slowed to a stop…

"Burn," he whispered, and then a fitting name for the fire he felt ghosted off of his lips like cigarette smoke, " _Amaterasu._ "

The sensation of black flames appearing at his will was foreign to him, but the feeling of release was something he would never be able to describe. He was finally relieved, and even elated when that built up pressure, desperation and seducing power left his body. Everything returned to real-time as the black fire engulfed Yagura's left arm, searing through the thin cloak of red chakra on his opponent. Yagura lost focus and the chakra around him completely dispelled.

By then, Shisui had shakily recovered. He charged at Yagura, all rage and anger— emotions Itachi felt brewing behind his eyes yet again, because the kage just would. Not. Let. _Go_. The pressure built up again, but this time, he fought it long enough to witness Yagura scream in pain for the first time as he dodged a sloppy slash of Shisui's sword. The pain from his fire must be excruciating and the flames were refusing to go out no matter how wildly he flashed his chakra to blow it off.

Shisui was in no condition to fight; he had hit his head far too hard. His accuracy was subpar, blood was dripping down his face and his right cheek was burned badly, probably from the Mizukage's fist but at least he was alive. For a moment, Itachi thought his neck had snapped his neck against that tree. He was eternally grateful that it didn't.

Remembering the pain in his heart at the mere thought of his cousin nearly dying, Itachi lunged for Yagura, throwing a kunai first that his opponent quickly caught, despite his predicament. As the fire began to engulf his forearm and elbow, he dropped Yuzuha, jumped back and began to saw his left arm off at the bicep, preparing for a retreat.

Before Itachi could give chase, the masked man from before _literally_ appeared, a stolen sword in hand, and cut off the Mizukage's burning arm in one, neat strike. He then pointed to Yuzuha's body, as if he was wordlessly _commanding_ the kage to retrieve it. Itachi charged at the limp redhead, already aware of what the enemy was going to do. If they caught her, they would disappear as quickly as they appeared and he'd never see her again.

He and Yagura reached her simultaneously, but thankfully help had arrived before the kage's remaining hand could grasp her neck. Four jounin surrounded him, and two square columns of wood batted the enemy away at the last second, kicking up Itachi's bangs with the rush of wind in their wake. He took his friend into his arms and watched with fascination as the lightning-style anbu gathered his chakra into his hand and morphed it into a dangerous attack that sounded like angry, chirping birds. Itachi's eyes broke down the technique and he knew it was a complex jutsu to replicate. He briefly wondered how the anbu could possibly control the wild lightning without hurting himself in the process.

One of the jonin that arrived was a medic and had immediately tended to Shisui's head. His cousin did _not_ like being held back, however, and when his eyes made contact with Itachi's, the two nodded at each other in mutual understanding: _Get her out of here._

The lightning from the dog-masked anbu smashed against the ground, heading towards the elusive masked man. The noise, followed by the arrival of hokage-sama barking orders, helped Itachi snap into action. He took off when Yuzuha was securely in his grasp. As he ran, he wished he could fly if only because it would get him out of this mess. He couldn't remember how long it took him, but he made it to the top of the village's wall. Its sentinels were engaged in brutal battle with his comrades; too brutal to waste any time on stopping him, a retreating genin. He vaulted over a kiri ninja in the process of having his eyes slashed out by a Konoha ninja's blade. The sight gave him no pleasure and he wished he hadn't seen it or heard the pained wail of the blinded victim.

He made it into the damp trees beyond the wall and traveled as fast as he could to catch up with his retreating team. Yuzuha was growing paler and colder against his arms as the seconds passed. He didn't feel safe until Shisui flashed next to him and even then, he flinched, ready to attack, run or whatever else he had to do to keep both himself and the dying girl in his arms safe.

"The situation is winding down. Stop here," his cousin ordered him as his superior. There wasn't a hint of warmth in his tone. He was all business.

Itachi obeyed, immediately settling onto a wide branch, laying Yuzuha down next to him, heart hammering in his chest. The trees ahead of them rustled, and they each prepped a kunai but when Utau crashed through, both Uchiha relaxed. When she saw the carnage on the branch she reeled back, smacking the back of her hand against her mouth with a gasp.

"I…I can't heal this… not with just the basics I learned," she whispered in horrified realization. She had retreated to help, and now knew that she couldn't.

"Set her leg." Shisui's voice was cold, commanding, every bit the jonin he had become. Again, Itachi deferred to his orders. **GORE. SKIP TO NEXT BOLDED SECTION**

He peeled away loose skin, and wedged the bone back into place beneath the bleeding muscles and snapped tendons. The squelching sounds turned his stomach, especially with his hands touching the innards, but he dealt with it for her sake. Shisui had a plan, Itachi just had to trust in it. Utau made a horrified noise as he worked.

 **CONTINUE READING FROM THIS POINT ON**

"Now lift her hand and have her bite down on it," he instructed, then turned to their disgusted friend and snapped, "Utau, stay focused. If you're not here to help medically, either leave or help me defend them."

The harsh command garnered the response it called for. Utau tore a kunai out of her pouch and put her back to himself and Yuzuha, undoubtedly watching the trees with vicious efficiency, body poised and ready to attack. Itachi stuck the edge of Yuzuha's hand into her mouth and shoved her chin upwards to help her bite down on it.

The effect was instant. With his advanced sight, he saw green chakra coat her body. Her leg was reverting to where it originally was, the muscles, tissues and tendons weaving back together and the skin sealing as if her just her body was moving backwards through time. Itachi knew about her ability, but he had no idea that it could be utilized to heal herself. The burn on her face was the last to disappear, leaving smooth, unhealthily pale flesh behind.

"Reinforcements are coming soon. Catch up to the rest of the team and keep your eyes open!" With that final command Shisui disappeared, no doubt going back to tie any loose ends that might have followed his group into the woods. Itachi and Utau met gazes and through the terrified look on her face, he realized that his eyes were still…different.

"Let's go," she breathed, afraid to raise her voice any higher. A distant explosion made her flinch and Itachi nodded, hauling Yuzuha back into his arms. They took off and worked seemingly beyond the capabilities of their bodies to catch up to their group. The first Itachi heard of them was the whining of the fire daimyo, draped over Michiru-sensei's shoulder. With his size, it was a miracle that the orange-eyed man could carry him at all.

"This is _deplorable_! Everywhere you rotten shinobi go, war and death follows! I could have been _killed_!" he fussed like a child, clenching his fists and waving them.

Ahead, Rii was helping Keitaro jump, slinging his friend's arm across his shoulders. The other was around the boy's midsection, a kunai tightly gripped in the hand. The boy was being valiant, but Itachi could see the dark crimson stain across his stomach— he had barely been saved, probably by Utau or Manna. His entire team was caked in dirt, mud, injuries, and blood. A wave of exhaustion slammed him unexpectedly and his vision lost the sharp and steady quality it had when his sharingan was activated. His left eye was infinitesimally… _off_ somehow and he just didn't have the time to stop and analyze why. He kept pushing onwards.

"Respectfully, daimyo-sama, it would behoove you to keep your voice down. We are not out of the fray just yet," Michiru-sensei professionally advised. The daimyo opened his wrinkled mouth to protest, but thought better of it when he made eye contact with Yusuke's warning glare.

"Mmrphm…"

To his surprise, Yuzuha blinked and then looked up at him, confused.

"I…Itachi?" she whispered in a daze, but soon her vision cleared. She sat up so suddenly in his grip that he almost lost balance on the mossy branch he landed on and quickly jumped off of. Her hand shot to her leg, and when she found it intact the confused expression returned to her face. "What happened? Where am I, where's—

Her grey eyes narrowed and drank in the scene, analyzing.

"M-my leg…?" She turned back to him, looking for an explanation.

"We had you bite yourself," he quietly explained.

"Oh, okay, well, set me down. I can move. You don't have to carry me." She sounded so sure of herself, Itachi almost believed her, but he knew better. Her skin was pale as death, and she was sweating. She had lost far too much blood and an infection had settled within her somewhere, despite her miraculous recovery. All the mud that seeped into her wounds had taken an internal toll on her. He could tell by the way she shoved her face into his shoulder that just moving around made her faint and nauseous.

"I…kinda don't feel so great, actually…now that I think about it," she mumbled.

"You should rest. You put your body through more than you think you did."

"I'm sorry," she breathed, a guilty tone that made him think she was going to cry. He squeezed her tightly for comfort, and to his relief, she reached up and squeezed him back as best as she could. Then, she gasped.

"Incoming!" she shrieked, lifting her head. All hell broke loose. Exploding tags hit the trees they were in with loud thumps and thankfully, everyone was focused enough to jump either high or low to avoid the following explosions.

" _Itachi_!" It was the second time he had heard her voice crack that day. When he spared a glance downwards, her eyes were wide with terror.

* * *

 **Yuzuha**

There was no time. One of the bastards that had descended on our group had flashed right behind Itachi, kunai in hand. There was no way Itachi could have avoided it, not carrying my dead weight in his arms. Horrified, I reached out and a chakra chain wildly shot out of my neck and then straight through the vest and heart of the man that was about to drive his kunai into the back of Itachi's neck. The kunai fell from his hand, and his grey eyes went vacant as my chain retracted, leaving droplets of still-warm blood on my neck. Tendrils of black hair fell over my face, exposed shoulder and collarbones. I had nicked a good portion of the hair billowing around Itachi's nape. His half-cut ponytail flailed wildly in the wind behind him and I wanted to apologize, but my vision went blurry. Nausea took over and I just couldn't do it anymore. Itachi's shocked expression was the last thing I saw.

* * *

Sounds of death filled the woods, but all Itachi could do was stare as Yuzuha's eyes rolled to the back of her head. He dared to glance backwards at the body they'd left behind. What if she hadn't been awake? He may just have had a kunai protruding out of the base of his skull.

"Thank you," he whispered to her, his voice practically imaginary as it was drowned out by unfamiliar screams. His team had dispatched the stragglers.

"Keep it moving! We've got another half hour to go before we reach the border!" The fierce order from Michiru-sensei pierced the short silence that had befallen his group. It boosted morale, knowing that home was not too far off. Everyone pushed a little harder, and soon, reinforcements arrived. First one jonin, then two more. Shisui was the last to arrive. Some of the tension dissipated, now that the group had gained support, but Itachi couldn't find it in him to rejoice. The girl in his arms was beginning to breathe heavily, if only slightly. He pierced the Uchiha fan on Shisui's back with a look he hoped his cousin would somehow sense.

Shisui's instincts were true. He turned to look at Itachi. He slightly lifted his arms up, indicating the delicate package he was carrying. She wouldn't make it back to Konoha if they kept up this speed. Itachi already knew what the process would be. The group would reach the outposts at the border and rest there for a short time, then they would head back to Konoha at a brisk pace, but it wouldn't be nearly fast enough, not when Yuzuha's condition was unstable and volatile. She would be in rough shape, if not dead or completely possessed by the kyuubi by the time they reached the village gate. He couldn't let that happen— _wouldn't_ let that happen.

Shisui fell back and assessed the situation, his sharingan darting seemingly all over her at once. He dashed diagonally across the group's diamond formation and whispered something in code to Michiru-sensei. The orange-haired captain nodded, and Shisui flashed back to him, motioning with his hand for Itachi to stop. They landed on a branch, and Shisui took her from him with speed and grace that he had always respected. With a final nod, his cousin was gone in a flash, and Itachi felt empty.

Several Konoha nin flitted past their team in the woods, heading towards the battle raging in Kirigakure. It was obvious that hokage-sama had reinforcements waiting and ready for action. Either the battle was turning for the worse, or it was almost over and they were needed for extra support and threat.

One way or another, the best way to handle the situation would be to lay siege to the city and demand surrender as well as reparations.

It will be interesting to hear news of hokage-sama's decision.

* * *

Shisui bit the inside of his lip. It did nothing to quell his anxiety, and he ceased the terrible habit before he landed too hard and busted his skin open. He didn't feel like drinking his own blood today. His head was pounding, as was his shoulder. Thankfully he had reacted quickly enough to stop himself from breaking his neck against the tree. It had cost him a dislocated shoulder and a few fractured ribs, plus a bad concussion, but he was alive, which is what counted. Yuzuha's well-being rested on his teleportation technique now.

Still, Yagura had swatted him to the side as if he were nothing more than an annoying fly, and the chakra he was cloaked in seared his cheek. It was a miracle that the jonin medic was able to save his face. Shisui prayed that Yuzuha wouldn't turn into a loose cannon like that and wreak even more havoc.

Hokage-sama had held a private meeting with him the moment he cleared jonin rank. From that moment onwards, it was his duty to make sure that Yuzuha would never turn into what Yagura displayed today. His sharingan had become an absolute necessity to their friendship, and it made him feel ugly inside for agreeing to keep her in check should things ever go awry, however he knew the truth of their friendship and the truth of his feelings for her. The politics that plagued their lives were just minor details. What mattered was that they had fun together, laughed together, confided in each other and trusted each other.

Hokage-sama had mentioned that should any jinchuriki's body _ever_ weaken enough, it was possible for the seal holding the tailed beast's chakra to break. This close to death…who knew what would happen with her. He was essentially carrying a ticking time bomb and he prayed to every god he knew of that he wouldn't have to waste the time she had left subduing her with his sharingan.

Fifteen minutes later, he whipped past the outposts at the border, probably alerting every Konoha shinobi stationed there to an infiltration. He didn't care. He only tightened his grip and managed to teleport twice in quick succession, faster than he had ever done before, and despite the pain in his body, he kept up the grueling pace, because _she needed him_ —not because Konoha may lose control of their tailed beast, but because he would lose someone precious to him if he didn't fly like the devil was at his heels. He panicked when he realized the skin of her shoulder was hotter than it was before, but a quick look with his sharingan betrayed no change in her chakra. She was running a fever, despite the amount of blood she lost. The strength of her body and her stamina would never cease to amaze him.

Minutes later, he found her looking up at him, but her eyes were bleary and seemed to stare past his face, at something that wasn't there.

"Ta…mi?"

Who was Tami? Perhaps an old friend? Tears leaked out of her eyes, tiny ones that only ever escaped from a dehydrated body. Perhaps the person was a dead friend. She stared at him for a few seconds more, trying to say something, but unable to. She shut her eyes once more and continued to sweat and shiver.

"Hang in there, Yuzu." He pulled her against himself tighter, wishing there was some magic in the universe that would get her to a Konoha's hospital faster. He jumped, ducked, sailed, ran and teleported in a haze. Every movement was practically mechanical and the pain he felt molded into an inseparable part of himself. Fearful thoughts and anxiety plagued him, turning over and over in his head until he finally reached the desk of the hospital, rustling papers and potted plants in his wake, sharingan eyes terrifying the secretary managing the lobby and eliciting startled screams of mothers and children visiting. To them it must have looked like he just appeared in a cloud of chaos and minor destruction.

"She needs immediate medical attention. There is a definite infection and she may need a blood transfusion, or supplemental pills of some sort," he recited just as he had practiced in his head over and over on his way. When the twenty-something-year-old woman blinked at him, he almost snapped at the sluggishness in her actions. _Almost_.

" _Immediate attention_ ," he repeated, stressing the words as calmly as he could.

"Uh-Uhm, right! Right!" she shook her head to clear it, "hang on!" She pressed a red button on a rectangular pad and exactly 34 seconds later a middle-aged doctor rushed in with a gurney and three assistants, their presence commanding people out of their way. Shisui placed her on the mobile bed and ran after them, answering questions he later couldn't remember in detail. They stopped him at the threshold of the O.R. and only then did he collapse to his knees in front of the swinging double doors, sucking in deep breaths of air he didn't know he needed. His sharingan faded away and he wheezed and shook from the stress his efforts placed on his body, particularly on his thighs and calves.

He flinched when the secretary from the desk placed a kind hand on his dirty shoulder. Whatever his expression looked like when he turned to her gained her pity and she helped him up and to a room where they checked him out and healed his injuries the rest of the way. He couldn't remember when, exactly, but he passed out worried about his friends, his kage, his comrades, his village and most importantly... _her_.

* * *

I was in that place again, in front of that cage again, in front of Kurama again.

"Hey, what's u—

"How do you know my name, human brat?"

How absolutely _rude_! Well, if that's how he wants to do things… I crossed my arms and turned my nose upwards.

"Well… I know a lot of things, actually. But I don't think it's right to tell you just yet."

"I don't like that answer," he replied threateningly and a red mist or whatever bubbled up around the red bars of his cage. It looked like seafoam and I stared at it for a moment before I shot him a glare.

"Well, I don't like that attitude," I huffed back and crossed my arms. "Why am I here anyway?" I grumbled after a pause.

"I thought that since you know _lots of things, actually_ , you would know," he mocked me, although, his tone didn't lilt in a mocking way. Still, he mocked me!

I shrugged, just to be a nuisance.

"I never said that I know _everything_ , like, _all_ thetime-ttebane!"

"Hm. You must be dying… _we_ must bedying because of you."

I shrugged.

"Well, if I die, I die, but you kind of can't die just yet, so I guess I better somehow live, huh?"

"Are you saying you require my chakra?" he smirked, a sinister tone in his booming voice.

"Absolutely _not_ ," I spat back, then placed a hand on my chin. "Last thing I remember… hmmm…I broke my leg and then I took out some guy trying to kill Itachi and then… and then… I saw…"

Tommy. I saw Tommy, and I missed him so much and— does dying have something to do with it? Am I beginning to cross over and that's why I saw him? I could have sworn he was carrying me. I was in his arms.

"Saw what?"

I shook my head and dropped my arms. "It's not important. I probably have a horrible infection and we're kilometers and kilometers away from antibiotics, if I'm correct." I shuddered and added, "It was a gross break, like really nasty. I think even you might've thrown up from it if you saw it. And all this mud and gross stuff must have gotten into it before they healed it and…bleh." I shook my head, getting the image of my bone protruding outwards from below my knee out of my mind. Gross gross _gross_!

"I doubt it."

"In any case, I can't tell you yet why I know some things, but I can tell you that your 'tough fox' act doesn't convince me. You're a big softie and you know it and I'll do what I have to to prove it to you-ttebane!" I pointed my finger at him and tucked my other fist and elbow back towards my body, a determined expression on my face.

"You're spitting foolish nonsense… brat," his voice began to echo and the colors around me blurred.

Then I opened my eyes to a hospital room. _Ugh_. I hate waking up here because every time I do, I don't know if I dreamed everything, or if I'm actually still dead and occupying the body of some unfortunate girl that should have died during the kyuubi attack. Quickly, I reached up and tugged on a chin-length strand of hair and found it scarlet red. I breathed a sigh of relief. I'm still Yuzuha.

Turning my head to the side, I found a narrow, little vase with one pink and yellow alstroemeria in it. It was fresh and so close that it smelled wonderful. It made me smile. Didn't those mean friendship and devotion or something? I can't exactly remember, cause, y'know, I was the terror of the kunoichi classes and made it a point to throw bugs and other undesirable shit at the girls that teased me.

Anyway, I felt a little tired and thirsty so I decided to lay back and sleep. My body felt semi-wrecked and it wasn't that hard to doze off.

* * *

The one-armed Mizukage reported outside of his village wall as Hiruzen knew he would. Had he refused, the consequences would have been dire. At the moment, two hundred of Konoha's best were perched atop his walls, stationed within his village and guarding the perimeter of his territory. Rebellion would be suicide and the young kage was lucky Hiruzen hadn't just slaughtered him and his shinobi like he could have.

One thing was working for the unfortunate boy: the fact that his actions had not been his own. As he approached, Kakashi and Tenzo placed their hands above their swords, ready for action, should they have to take any. Yagura's pink eyes scanned them both, misty rain creating damp droplets on his bruised cheeks and lashes.

"Hokage-dono," he greeted in a surprisingly polite tone.

Hiruzen nodded. He had no reason to be cordial with him.

"I have received word that your mind may not have been in the right place during the assault," he began vaguely.

"My mind has not been my own in several years, hokage-dono, otherwise my village would not be suffering, I assure you," he replied professionally, a fierce determination in his eyes. There was an anger there that Hiruzen recognized.

"I'd like to hear about this incident, then." He was sure it was related to the incident in Konoha years ago— the incident that caused him multiple headaches and countless late-night meetings with both the Uchiha clan leader and his councilors. A person that can simply appear whenever he or she wished and had the ability to take control of a jinchuriki's mind for prolonged periods of time? It was too coincidental for his liking.

"I can't remember when it started, but I do remember the constant lethargy and the voice in my mind. It was so loud it drowned out my own thoughts. I did things that I knew were horrible but couldn't stop. I am not proud of my weakness and had it been my choice I would never have attempted a kidnapping of your jinchuriki. I have no use for someone like that and no reason to harm one that shares a burden similar to mine." The boy lowered his head and clenched his remaining fist. "I would like to hear your demands, hokage-dono and come to a compromise— one that would not leave my village in ruins and my people to suffer more than they already have."

Hiruzen paused, stifling the sigh that threatened to come out.

"I will think your request through, young Mizukage, although I would like a written statement about your time under that individual's control and anything you may know or remember of him."

"I can remember long, black hair." Yagura's eyes narrowed in thought. "I will send you your report."

"I will send word soon as well."

Yagura nodded, "Excuse me," and then bowed and retreated through the open metal gate separating his village, his prison, from the outside world. Hiruzen turned to Kakashi, who had dropped his sword arm to a neutral position.

"I need you to send word to Konoha. I need to meet councilors Homura and Koharu at the outposts for an emergency meeting."

"Understood," the silver-haired shinobi murmured through his mask, bowed and made his way to the tent they had quickly set up as a temporary headquarters. Hiruzen turned to Tenzo.

"Find me Tezuru-san. He will be general of this coalition until I return. I want no word of myself leaving to escape this encampment. You will transform into me and remain that way until I return. We must keep up appearances."

"Understood." Tenzo left in the same manner, and twenty minutes later, Hiruzen was in his tent, wondering what the terms of their compromise should be should they agree to one and whether or not the benefits of crushing Kirigakure completely outweighed the consequences of it.

A day later he had his report. It was short, but detailed. Several things were true.

Yagura heard a male voice in his head. It was neither young nor old, suggesting the culprit was in a wide age range anywhere from maturity to fifty years of age. Although, the person could have disguised his voice, he didn't think they'd do so. Not when they planned on disposing of Yagura after they were done with him.

The boy also remembered the utter hatred for Konoha this voice had. It was a big part of why Kirigakure started a feud with Konoha and issued a kill-on-sight order for all Konoha shinobi, which meant that the perpetrator was _severely_ wronged by Konoha, an enemy with a deep hatred that goes beyond the typical blood lust and need for revenge of a victim of circumstance or happenstance.

Most importantly, this proves that even if the villain had the sharingan, he wasn't a shinobi that currently resided in Konoha. If this person was able to control Yagura for prolonged periods of time, then they couldn't possibly be policing the streets of Konoha _nor_ completing missions and reporting back to the tower after completing them. It could be an enemy that reaped the sharingan from an Uchiha corpse on the battlefield. Perhaps one of his anbu failed to destroy his corpse upon his death and his eyes were stolen. There were many possibilities, but one fact remained true: the Uchiha clan was not responsible for that night.

At the very least, he had something to look into, some idea that could possibly dissipate the political tensions within his village.

He waited calmly for Homura and Koharu to meet with him once he reached the outposts. The barracks there were empty, save for a few weapons pouches here and there. The stone sconce hanging from the ceiling provided a dim light, and he requested a candle be placed at the stone table.

How he wished he had his pipe with him. However, this was a time of emergency. He had even discarded his kage robes on the field when the initial explosions happened and has been in his battle garb since. His robes were packed away somewhere in that tent, stained with mud and long forgotten. In a way, it was liberating, despite the headache he was dealing with.

Five minutes after he lit the candle, Homura and Koharu arrived, also in their gear, their age seemingly not a burden to their travel. If their bones ached as much as his own, they didn't show it. Instead, they were scowling and looked angry enough to frighten chunin, despite their wrinkles.

"What warrants this emergency trip all the way out here, Hiruzen?" Koharu crossed her arms as Homura shut the door behind him and stood in between them and off to the side, comfortably tucked against the bunk beds in the room.

Wordlessly, he handed Koharu the paper. She took two short steps forward and slipped the parchment on the table to see it better in the candlelight. Homura quickly joined her. It took them all of two minutes to read the document.

"How can we believe this?" she asked, almost snapped and then wordlessly waited for an answer.

"He has no motive to lie and has shown a striking difference in personality and demeanor now that he is away from whoever that masked man was," he explained confidently. "There is something amiss here and it would be wise to search for this masked figure, however, that is not what I called you here for, not directly. The problem is reparations and compromise. I will need to make some big decisions and I would like to have your input," he explained in an unyielding tone. He would not be pushed aside tonight.

"I had a feeling it would come to this. It centers around finance, does it not?" Homura straightened his back and gave him a knowing smile. Hiruzen smiled back and nodded.

"I admit, you know the numbers and specifics better than I do," he acquiesced, and placed a hand on the table. Homura sat in one of the wooden chairs, and Koharu and he joined him.

"What a sight we must be, three old goats doing the work of the young," Koharu muttered with a sigh.

"You're never too old to work, not if it's for the village," Hiruzen replied and then took a breath to begin. "Suppose we slaughter every Kirigakure shinobi, do we have the money to annex the rest of Kirigakure and label it a part of Konoha? Would we have the resources to comfortably send forces to defend the annex, as well as leave Konoha in strong standing?"

"I have thought of this, Hiruzen, on my way here. I regret to admit that no, as of right now, we cannot extend our influence this far away, not with Kumo eyeing us and our assets."

"We must never forget what they attempted with the Hyuuga. They were lucky we didn't crush them back then," Koharu reminded, leaning back and crossing her arms, "Although… let us not forget that we have an entire police force within the village to take on any threat that so much as hisses at our village walls."

"Mmn, this is true. I also have a message to relay in that regard," Homura murmured carefully. Hiruzen knew he wasn't going to like it.

"Danzo?" he guessed, and by Homura's nod, he was right.

"Our friend believes it is best to raze the village; completely eliminate it from the map."

A thick silence blanketed the three.

"What of the civilians? They have done nothing to deserve death," Hiruzen finally spoke, keeping his tone professional.

"Perhaps we should allow them to choose to relocate to Konoha _before_ the destruction?" Koharu offered with a raised brow.

"And cause mass panic? Also, do we have the resources to house and feed them, even if it is temporary? Think of the construction necessary to build new settlements for them. Do we have the finances to back such a project? These people have virtually _nothing_ to offer and we cannot let them starve before they settle in. Also, we must think of our own citizens. Outsiders would not be taken well to, and we have no room for a civil war. It will weaken us considerably," Hiruzen argued.

"Then we burn them all," Koharu replied coldly. "It is the most effective solution."

Homura remained silent, as he usually did when the decision came to his and Koharu's squabbling. His dark eyes looked between he and Koharu, assessing the situation. He would voice his opinion later, but not just yet.

"There are families there. Mothers and their children and fathers looking for the best for them. Have you forgotten your own time as a mother, Koharu?" He would have to fight tooth and nail this time and hit her where it would hurt. Complete destruction was an easy and clean way to end the matter, but it wasn't the right solution. "If we were to erase innocent people like that, what would our own ranks think of their leadership? Yes, some of our methods may be harsh, but to annihilate an entire village of emaciated and unkempt civilians?"

"That has never stopped any other country from trying to do the same to us, to _our_ civilians. There is also the option to simply execute their shinobi."

"And hope for the best? Demilitarization will not stop the villagers from remilitarization or revolution and when they _do_ recover, this incident will hurt us. I will offer a more peaceful solution, a solution with benefits for us."

Koharu raised her thin brow, but Homura nodded, encouraging him to plead his case.

"We call for a truce, however it will only be so if certain circumstances are met. First, we require their kage to aid in the search for his torturer and possibly the culprit that controlled the kyuubi almost ten years ago. This will not be difficult, as my sources have told me that he is very good at gaining the favor of his people and they are _not_ happy with what has been done to him. Whatever they find of this man, it benefits us. There are also ways to make sure the accurate information reaches us. Second, we require the mizukage to release any records he has of Kiri's training methods for their hunter nin. I have read reports on their maneuvers and it would be an advantage to have that power, that knowledge, on our side. And third, we open the market to trade with them. This gives us an avenue to make more money, and their civilians a chance to recuperate. We tax them slightly more for their infractions this last week, and only for a short time."

"Those are dangerous ideas, Hiruzen. You cannot promise that they will be honest and you cannot be certain that they will not try to defeat us from within with this 'open market' you're suggesting. The enemy is a disease and any contact is fatal to the village."

"It is that kind of inflexible thinking that held you back from many successes, Koharu. We should utilize what we can of them now. We can have a powerful ally should we use this incident to our advantage. Believe me when I say their Mizukage is more than ready to establish a peace agreement."

"It will _not_ be genuine. Perhaps on the surface, but not beneath."

"And we will _not_ know until we try. We are using them. They have become a resource. It is my final decision."

Koharu snapped her head to look at Homura, _forcing_ him to speak with the power of her venomous expression alone.

"I apologize, Koharu, but I agree. And I believe Danzo would want to learn as many of their secrets as possible. Let us draw up reasonable demands and present them to this mizukage you say is open for a peaceful solution. If he agrees, we should hand pick an ambassador and begin the liason."

The elder woman stood out of her chair, facing both of them with a stony expression, one filled with concern for her village and her people. Hiruzen could understand her stress, but not everything should be handled with brittle decision-making as she believes. Sometimes her coldness was necessary for certain things and has proven to be useful in the past, but not to this particular matter. This matter required flexibility and compromise, something he and Homura were good at.

"Please stress that should they make one misstep, we will wipe them from this earth, if not write it as the first condition. If you will excuse me, I will be returning to Konoha with news of this to Danzo."

Hiruzen nodded, as did Homura.

"Safe travels," he wished her, and she turned and left, shutting the door so quietly he almost couldn't hear it. He unsealed a scroll and brush and looked to Homura.

"This will be a long document."

Homura shrugged. "We have as long as we need. Let us begin."

* * *

Towards the first rays of early morning sunlight, a document was forged. The demands were simple enough.

First: The mizukage must divulge all records during the time of his lapse of self-control, and this is only to see if the masked man left any sort of clues. His roots could be distinguished in the way he operated the village, however chaotically. Perhaps it could lead them to a village or region of origin at the very least. If his methods were consistent with behaviors of certain villages, they could pin where he was from.

Second: The training methods for Kirigakure's infamous hunter nin were to be divulged, if not on paper, then by someone who was well versed in and experienced in the subject matter. One way or another, by the end of the year a select group of Konoha's anbu were to be identical to, if not better than, Kiri's hunters.

Third: There was to be an alliance between the two villages and in time and with hope, the nations. As a result of this alliance, there would be general and obvious advantages for both villages, but most importantly, a mixed group of elite shinobi that would be dispatched to search for any trace of the masked man.

Finally: Should this contract be broken or sabotaged in any way…

The sentence didn't need finishing. Hiruzen thought it was ominous enough as it was, and thought about leaving it at that, but Homura made him reconsider. Should the contract be broken, Kiri would be razed and its history burned. There would be cold slaughter of anyone with pride in the blue and grey colors of the village.

The mizukage accepted the terms with a small, amused smirk. The demands were harsh, yes, however Kirigakure benefitted from them just as well as Konoha did. It was inevitable that there would be a sharing of information, the possibility of crushing mutual enemies, and most importantly, a more open trade market for both villages to thrive. Konoha would reap more profit and Kiri would recover from its years of neglect and violence.

He seemed to be aware of these positive repercussions secretly disguised as the threat of an executioner's axe, so to speak, and Hiruzen felt that he was peace-minded, like the leader he himself strived to be. The shodaime would be pleased at such a development, and it pained Hiruzen that he wasn't alive to see the moment the armistice was signed between both villages.

The road to peace would be a sour and difficult one. Emotional and physical wounds were both slow to heal, and even slower to be forgotten. But perhaps the signing of the armistice was the defining moment that would prove to the rest of the world that two bitter enemies could lay down their arms and coexist, even form a symbiosis of sort.

At the very least, for the first time in a long time, Hiruzen felt hope for the future.

* * *

The first thing I saw when I peeled my crusty eyelids open was a chunin vest laid out flat on the wooden nightstand next to me. I felt groggy and shitty and thirsty, like I usually felt the morning after a wild party or something. Granted, that was in the last life and I had only been to, like, three of those kinds of parties in my twenty-four years of life, but still. I felt like I had danced all night, drank all night, and only slept for a total of three hours.

I groaned and lifted my hand to push my red hair out of the way and winced when the action disturbed the IV in my wrist.

I fucking _hate_ needles. That shit got ripped out faster than Natsu could eat fire. I didn't even care about the little droplets of blood that splattered over the sheet with the action as long as it got that gross invasive thing _out_ of my vein. I sat up, just because I needed to start regaining control of my situation and looked around. How long has it been since the exam from hell and who survived?

I wasted no time in standing up, regaining my bearings, and molding my hands into the familiar, focusing tiger sign. Shutting my eyes, I stretched my awareness out until I could feel and see every soul present in Konoha. Every one of my comrades were alive…but something was off. I couldn't feel jii-chan's chakra. It wasn't anywhere in the village.

My heart dropped to my stomach. Did he _die_? I had the urge to sail out of the window right then and there, hospital grown and bare feet be damned, but I knew the six anbu stationed around the outside of the building would subdue me like a wild pig before I even crossed the front lawn of the building.

But maybe it would be wise to just go outside and ask them. It's not like they don't know I know they're there. They probably know about my Eye of Kagura and everything else right down to the kind of toothpaste I use twice a day. Before I could unlatch the window, I felt a familiar chakra in the hospital.

Utau. I turned around because _duh_ she's coming to visit me. Mira-sensei was with her and Sai was between them, bright and even happy. The trio walked into my room and greeted me with huge grins. Utau ran and hugged me, but I was confused as to why she was dressed in white nurse's clothes.

"Yuzu-chan! I knew you'd be up faster than Mashio-senpai projected!" She pulled away and held me out at arm's length. I grinned at her.

"Well, y'know, it's 'cause I'm the coolest kid in town, duh!" I flipped imaginary hair over my shoulder and Mira-sensei snorted as Sai crashed into my legs.

"Glad to see that that hellhole of a country hasn't changed your confidence," she murmured as she crossed her arms and watched the three of us reunite. I shrugged back at her.

"Everyone's alive…at least I think they are," I narrowed my eyes as I bent down to squeeze Sai's little body in my arms. "I can't find jiji. Did he make it back?" I asked in a hopeful tone.

Utau sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Can't you enjoy one moment of peace? Ever?"

I ignored her and looked at Mira-sensei expectantly.

"Relax. Hokage-sama is alive and well, running negotiations in Kiri. Danzo-sama is currently running the village in his place," she explained in a neutral tone.

Cold _dread_ hit me hard. I released Sai and practically left dust in my wake as I ran to the window to throw it open. Is the village _really_ okay? I saw several Uchiha police personnel pass the hospital just then, laughing in the midday sun and probably going to the market to grab some lunch. They passed a group of kids playing tag and disappeared down the road. I flung myself back to Mira-sensei in suspicion. There obviously hadn't been a massacre or _anything_. Everything was fucking _normal_. She looked at me confused, then scratched the shaved side of her head that was in the process of growing out.

"You look…alarmed," she described slowly. "What's happening in your head?"

I shook the body part she was talking about and ran my fingers through my grimy hair.

"I'm just worried. Are there any new rules or regulations I need to be aware of?"

She shook her head.

"Just the usual war-time stuff," Utau interjected with a shrug. Sai tugged on my gown and I smiled down at him.

"What's up?"

He silently held out a folded piece of paper. When I opened it up and turned it ninety degrees, I saw a picture of what looked pretty close to me, playing with him, Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura. It wasn't drawn perfectly, but he grasped general human shapes and landscapes pretty well. I was impressed. I couldn't draw anything _this_ good at his age.

"This is really good, Sai! Well, it's official, then. You're better at drawing than me. I can draw you a stick figure, if you want a drawing in return," I said while giving him a self-deprecating smirk and shrug. His shoulders shook…and for the first time…I heard him laugh.

My jaw freakin' dropped so far I almost had to catch it. My eyes darted to Mira-sensei and she shot me a smug smirk.

"Sai! You…can you…?"

His pasty cheeks colored and he nodded with a shy smile.

"I love you, Yuzu-nee," was the first sentence I ever heard him speak since Jiraiya and I found him in the remains of his home that day.

For whatever reason, I couldn't help dropping to my knees and hugging him. I have to admit, I needed to swallow the lump in my throat and use his hair to hide my eyes. For whatever reason, seeing him heal enough to talk made me choke up just enough to bite my lip and blur my vision.

He was starting to do better. For the first time. It took a couple of years, but… he was recovering and becoming stronger than his personal demons.

"I love you too," I whispered back and I was glad that the only people that heard my watery tone of voice were Mira-sensei and Utau.

"The day he hit all his targets dead in the center was the first day he spoke," Mira-sensei carefully explained, as if the slightest attention to the subject would break the magic spell that made this moment possible.

"Holy crow, Sai! All of them?" I rubbed my eyes after I held him at arm's length. Proudly, he nodded. He was still quiet but at least he could speak.

I heard a sniffle and stood straight to find Utau drying her tears.

"Uhm, I have to inform Mashio-senpai that you're awake," she explained and pointed at the door. She started to leave but I grabbed her sleeve to stop her.

"Hang on a sec! Are you seriously working here?"

She whirled around with a brilliant smile and sparkling ebony eyes accentuated by the bun she wore her hair in, instead of her usual low pigtails.

"I'm apprenticing under Dr. Shikitaisho. He's the best we have and I decided that I want to be the first modern Uchiha to use the sharingan for medical purposes."

"The first modern…?" Yeah I guess the Uchiha clan hasn't really churned out any medics in their recent history.

She nodded.

"That's right. These eyes… I can help sedate patients in emergencies and I learned some of the more complicated jutsu…it just takes _so_ much chakra control… I really need to work on that, if only it wasn't so damn heavy…"

Her determined expression crumpled into an insecure one as she started to chew on her lower lip.

I slapped my hands on her shoulders.

"Utau, that's _genius_!" I complemented, and then shook her as if to shake the negativity out of her. "It's so _cool_!"

She laughed at my craziness, then shot me a wink and gave me a thumbs-up when I relented.

"Of course it's cool, _I'm_ doing it! Anyway, I'm going to go do my best. You stay here and rest until you're cleared, okay?"

"Sure," I nodded, "one more thing, though."

She raised a brow as I dropped my hands to my sides.

"Did you get a vest, too?" I tipped my head towards the green thing on the nightstand.

"Of _course_ I did! Father was really proud," she beamed.

"Well, congratulations, then." I smiled at her, genuinely happy for her. She had been struggling to impress the older generations for years. She wanted to be the best option for Itachi and the best were always the strongest. She had one-upped Izumi, but that's only if Mikoto and Fugaku choose to marry Itachi off. Which they probably won't.

"You too," she smiled at me, "Now go sit down. You'll get a meal soon, and if you pull your IV out like that again I'll stick you with it four times as punishment," she finished darkly, a shadow crossing her face. For the first time, I was kinda intimidated. She seemed pretty serious. I blew a raspberry at her anyway.

"Hah! I'd like to see you try."

She shot me an evil smirk.

"Just you wait, Uzumaki Yuzuha…just you wait."

With that she turned around and Mira-sensei, Sai and I watched her walk out of the room, leaving us behind.

"How long have I been out?" I made eye contact with Mira-sensei, but she looked down at Sai.

"Go ahead, Sai. Why don't you tell her?" she instructed with a gentleness I'd never seen before. Like ever. She was still intense, but she was starting to be a mom, the kind that Sai needed in his life.

Sai looked up at her and nodded. He pursed his lips a few times. Talking must still be new to him.

"You were sleeping for three days," he annunciated perfectly. My eyebrows rose.

"All of these changes in three days?"

"Is what it is," Mira-sensei concluded. "Anyway, you have a few people who want to visit you today, so I figured I'd drop something off and keep it moving. Sai wants to meet some of his friends at the park... even though he _should_ be training."

Sai blushed.

"I _promised_ ," he insisted.

"I know I know. You need a break anyway. I can't always breathe down your little neck," she mumbled as she fished through her pocket and pulled out a tiny finger-sized scroll. It only had one seal in it and when she pushed her chakra through the image, a very pretty bento box popped out. "I don't care what that girl says; hospital food sucks. So we made you this," she held it out to me, "I'm glad you're awake to accept it."

I grinned ear-to-ear 'cause I was hella hungry, and then accepted the box with a bow.

"Thank you both. I'm going to devour this thing like a beast." I almost salivated, no lie . Sai lunged at me one more time and I caught him in a bear hug. Mira-sensei gave me a warm smile and held her hand out to her adoptive son. Sai grabbed it and they waved as they left, chatting quietly about who was at the park. I heard "Shikamaru" and maybe even "Choji" as they walked down the hall and smiled to myself. They'd be good friends for Sai.

Although now that he talks I _really_ want to know his real name, but I guess it isn't wise to push it and bring back bad memories. He'll talk when he's ready and when he's ready he'll tell the right person.

My next visitor came in while I was sitting in bed, stuffing my face with rice and grilled fish. It was some blonde-haired guy who looked super professional. I wasn't surprised when he introduced himself as Dr. Shikitaisho. He explained that my recovery was remarkable and that my body was quickly burning through the antibiotics they were giving me. My infection was pretty much gone and I only needed to stay here for a day more. I'd be given a final once-over tomorrow and there would be a nurse checking on me every three hours. Overall, he was really friendly and his violet eyes seemed to shine whenever he had the opportunity to explain a medical term or tell me how some process worked. He loved his job and I could see why Utau was so determined to excel at her newest goal. With someone like this overseeing your progress, you couldn't help but want to do good. Anyway, he left and I scarfed down the rest of my bento box. No one came up with any food, probably because he told them not to.

It was quiet for a while, until Yusuke and Rii showed up to crash on my hospital bed and fuck around with the machinery in the room.

"You think it can take my heartbeart through my nose?" Yusuke clipped the little finger-heartrate-thingy on the tip of his nose and winced at the pain. He opened one eye, and asked, "So, how do I look?"

"Like a fucking idiot, now give me that!" Rii tugged on the chord and pulled the item off of Yusuke's nose so fast it made an audible click.

"Ow!" Yusuke rubbed the tip of his nose and gave Rii the finger. Rii gave him a double-middle-finger back and took his time clipping the finger-thingy to his middle finger.

"I call it…robo-finger!" he announced and gave us a fake maniacal laugh. I snorted and Yusuke looked like he wanted to punch the stupidity out of him.

"That's dumb… techno-finger is better!" he argued.

"Ew, techno-finger? I feel bad for your future kids, you suck at naming!"

"Hey, shut up! At least my kids won't be ugly like you. Or bald."

"I'm not bald, asshole! It's called a crew cut and it's fucking cool!"

"' _It's called a crew cut and it's fucking cool!'_ " Yusuke crossed his eyes, made a busted face, and made fun of Rii in a high pitched tone. I died laughing and placed a hand on Yusuke's shoulder as Rii growled and made a fist.

"Okay—ahhahhah!—okay! If your goal was to make my stomach hurt laughing, then you succeeded. Chill for a second, will ya?" I finished with a chuckle and both boys smiled at me. They were already decked out in their chunin gear and wore dark pants to match the rest of their rank. Yusuke winked at me and Rii shot me a smirk.

"You guys need to be comedians or something."

"Nah, ninjas are cooler," Rii disagreed and scratched his shaved head.

"Yeah, besides, comedians get booed off stage. I'd rather not experience that," Yusuke crossed his arms and nodded.

I smiled at both of them. They ate some snacks they brought, we teased Rii about losing his fight and then they left, citing that they had some "really awesome chunin business to attend to," which I was sure was just lounging around looking cool in their vests.

My next visitor was Shisui and you know that turned into a comedy show of its own. When he arrived, he bent over the edge of the bed and hugged me, telling me I needed a shower before anything else. I glared at him and shoved a pillow in his face, muffling his laughter. Once he was seated in the chair next to my bed, though, he asked me an interesting question.

"So… who's Tami?"

"Ta…mi?"

Tami? Who _is_ Tami?

"What do you mean?"

"You kept talking to someone named 'Tami' during your fever. I'm just curious. You don't have to tell me or anything if you don't want to, of course!" he informed with his hands up, proving his transparency and innocence. He wasn't going to push if I didn't want to talk. I smiled at him.

"An old friend from before this village," I replied ambiguously. Again, it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the complete truth, either.

"Oh, you seemed really upset…but anyway," his expression lightened as he changed the subject, "congratulations! You officially have a chunin vest. How does it feel?"

I shrugged.

"I'll be honest, I haven't tried it on yet."

He shrugged. "I figured. Well, whatever. I have cards. Let's play." He pulled a worn deck out of his pocket, the deck we always used and he began dishing cards out, an action I found familiar and comforting.

Later on, I was escorted out of the room to go shower with little disposable soap bars and shampoo containers. They dressed me in bland, blue hospital pajamas and by the time I was back, Shisui was lounging on my hospital bed, reading some guy-magazine, munching on a bag of salted potato chips that he must have retrieved while I was gone. My nurse, Kaizoru-san, planted her fists on her hips.

"Uchiha Shisui!"

"D'aah!" He shot up off the bed, throwing his magazine up and dusting crumbs off his shirt. The paper-back smacked him on the head as he stood at attention and he grew red in the face, smiling sheepishly.

"Eh heh heh heh… good afternoon, Kaizoru-san," he nervously laughed after the magazine hit the floor.

" _Don't_ think I forgot about the last time you ditched your physical! Dr. Amori was livid!" She pinned him with a poisonous glare that scared even me a little.

Shisui backed up against the bed, his hands up in surrender, the bag of potato chips still pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

"Well, you see, I had a few time-sensitive things to take care of that day and—

She narrowed her eyes and her intensified glare shut him up. He gulped. Then, she smirked, and I think both of us paled a little. Kaizoru-san seemed like such a sweet person, it was strange to see her with a devilish gleam in her eyes.

"Since you're here, maybe I should have make you an appointment," she suggested in a superficially sweet tone. Shisui's brave face crumpled into something whiny and childlike.

"Aw come on! We know I'm healthy!" he waved his arms around, the chips threatening to spill out of his bag, "I don't feel like having every single tooth looked at! He takes _forever_!"

Well, I knew Shisui hated doctors, but this is unbelievable.

"You're lucky he isn't here today and that Maro-senpai isn't trained to do shinobi physicals yet. I'll be keeping an eye on you…" She wagged her finger at him threateningly and then turned to me with a smile.

"If you need anything just press that red button on the wall." She pointed to a button right next to the metal headboard of the twin bed. I nodded and bowed to her.

"Thank you for helping me."

"Of course!" She shot Shisui one last glare that tensed him up and left at a brisk pace. I snorted and place a hand over my mouth.

" _That_ was entertainment."

He rubbed his hair with his free hand and released the breath he was holding.

"Kaizoru-san is scary when she's mad."

"Yeah, you're telling me. I had no idea she could push you around like that."

"Hey! I wasn't _'pushed around,'_ alright!" He blushed and fell back on the bed, kicking his bare feet up on the footboard. He reached for his fallen magazine and then grinned. "Check this out!"

I ambled over and sat next to him, facing the open door of the room. He passed the magazine to me. The article was about a new bookstore in Komori, a civilian city near the capital.

"Think Itachi will be interested in going?"

"Absolutely," I responded and flipped the page. The next article was all about the newest styles of watches and whatever. Boring. I handed the thing back to him and wiped crumbs off of the bed.

"Gross, Shisui."

"Well, if she hadn't scared me like that…"

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, how come you're still in hospital clothes? Didn't they get you something decent to wear?"

"No. I was hoping you could get me some clothes from my apartment."

"Me?" He pointed to himself and blushed. "I'm not going through your drawers. No way." I glared at him.

"Then find a girl to do it if you're going to be a baby about it."

"You know, that's not such a bad idea. I'll find Shima. Though, she's probably on a date with Yusuke by now."

I blushed and gaped.

"I knew it!" I pointed my finger at him, "Their chakras reacted to each other _a lot_ during the exam! I knew I wasn't imagining it!" _And_ they roomed together that night, too. I don't know what exactly transpired between them in that muddy forest but whatever it was brought them closer together. Shisui grinned, just as happy for them as I am.

"Hmmm... Utau is busy working... go ask Izumi, then. Oh! And bring me tea, while you're out, if you can!" I dropped my fist into my hand when the idea came to mind. Iced tea with a touch of honey would be perfect right now.

"Yes your highness, right away your highness," Shisui drawled, rolling his eyes and stretching behind me.

I flipped imaginary hair over my shoulders and straightened my spine, lifting my nose up and regally placing my palms on top of my thighs. "And fetch me my golden slippers!" I added haughtily. "My dainty feet must be comfortable!"

"Of course your majesty anything else?" Shisui swung his legs cleanly over my head and abandoned his magazine on the pillow and his chips on the table. He rolled off the bed, dropped to one knee and planted a fist on the floor at my feet with his head bowed, just like he probably did when taking orders from jii-chan.

"Shine my crown as well," I ordered, "and polish my rubies and sapphires. They're my favorite."

Shisui huffed out a laugh and grinned up at me.

"I'll remember that."

When he rose and straightened he pointed at the chips.

"Don't eat all of them, okay? Save some for me because those were the last plain salted ones in the store," he whined and crossed his arms, as if he regretted leaving them behind.

I laughed at him.

"Don't worry. I'm not feeling potato chips anyway," I assured with my hands up.

He grinned and jumped out the window. He returned twenty minutes later with a small bundle of clothes and like, two bags of groceries, which did contain a can of iced tea like I requested. He had commanded a clone to help, and yes, he got everything through the window. He could have used the stairs or the front entrance, but no. He huffed it up the side of the wall, his clone right behind him. Only Shisui would pull something like that.

I gaped at him as he tiredly placed his hands on his knees and dispelled his clone.

"What are you even huffing and puffing about? You weren't the one who carried the box up the wall, your clone did!" I crossed my arms with a frown.

He snapped up his head and grinned, flashing me a peace sign, his cat like eyes crinkling in the process.

"I know, but it's fun being dramatic."

I rolled my eyes as I walked over and unbundled the clothes in his arms. I found the soft, cotton shorts of my pajamas and an old shirt of Shisui's that still smelled like fresh laundry. Shisui dumped the clothes into my arms and went back to reading his magazine and munching on his potato chips.

I dropped the rest of the clothes on the chair, bundled up the sleeping clothes in my arms and went through the door parallel to the foot of the bed that led to the bathroom. The tiled floor was cold but sanitary beneath my feet as I swung the door shut and swiftly changed. I rearranged my still-damp hair with my fingers and went back into the room.

"I brought shogi, too," he held up the game and grinned, "I'll be the challenging king this time."

"Fine by me." He tossed me my canned iced tea, and then I shrugged and sat across from him as he carefully set the board up on the lumpy sheets of the bed.

* * *

The next day, I sensed jiji's chakra in the village, and you can bet your ass that not even five minutes after I was released, I greeted jii-chan literally right after he sat in his office chair to rest from his journey. I practically kicked his door down when I entered, and he hugged me tightly and chuckled. There was blood still caked on his dark clothes. What a sight we must have made: an old man with the blood of his enemies on his clothes and a little girl hugging him like it didn't matter to her because it didn't.

"I'm glad to see that you're safe," he began while letting me go. I shot him a bright grin and a thumbs-up.

"Safe and healthy, jii-chan."

"Did you just leave the hospital?"

I nodded and replied, "Mhm!"

"You seem back to your usual self," he gave me a warm smile, "I hope you weren't too bored in there."

I shrugged in response. "Shisui helped pass the time."

"Shisui, huh… I see."

I didn't miss the calculating look in his eye. It was the same look he gave the shogi board when he was trying to figure out my plan. My senses heightened, waiting for more information as to what he was thinking, but it didn't come. He changed the topic to a lighter matter.

"You've heard about your promotion?"

I grinned.

"Without a doubt. This vest was right next to me when I woke up!" I was wearing it now, paired with dark shorts and tall, black boots.

"You did well on your mission. Your friend from Kiri has been a great help to us as well."

Two! I almost forgot about him!

"Is he okay?" My tone was worried. I really did hope that they weren't giving him too much of a hard time. No doubt he's been in T&I since he got here.

"He's being treated well because of his willingness to cooperate. I don't believe I've ever seen a shinobi his age willingly renounce his village and defect to another. It's a little suspicious, to be honest." He gauged me for my reaction. I knew Two better than he did, after all. I put on a determined face.

"Two is different," I vowed. "His village really broke his heart." And so did Risa.

"He is different," jii-chan smiled and crossed his arms, "isn't he?" He then sat down in his chair and looked out the window. "Is that what you call him…'Two'?"

"I didn't name him that. The boy from Kusa did."

"Mhm. I'm interested in hearing your report."

So I retold everything to him. From beginning to end. I started with our arrival to Kiri, moved on to how we formed our groups, and what we endured in the woods, and then finished with the explosions that started the battle, and the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the hospital.

He simply nodded throughout my story, and then sent me on my way after one last hug because he had to take care of himself for once. I decided to head to the Uchiha district, where I sensed my little brother, running around with Sasuke right near a relatively stationary Mikoto. They must be chasing each other in her house.

When I finally made it to the Uchiha manor, rang the bell and watched the door open, I didn't have much time to react before Mikoto dropped to a knee and hugged me tightly.

"I'm so happy you're alright, I was so worried!" But mostly importantly, "Welcome home," she breathed into my hair.

Home, huh… I wonder if this place really did become my home. It's not the house, either. It's the people and the memories in it. Growing up in my last life, the family memories were obviously mostly bad, so it was awkward being fuzzy and mushy like this in this life. Although, Mikoto-sama's hugs are always the warmest.

For a moment I tried to shake off my awkwardness, and hugged her back just as tightly. Just then, Itachi's river of chakra gracefully flowed into the hallway, Izumi at his side. Mikoto stood and broke our hug, keeping her hands on my shoulders and smiling warmly.

"I made jasmine tea today. Won't you have some?" She tilted her head to the side.

"Of course!" I eagerly agreed and pumped a fist because hey, you can't beat a good ol' steaming cup of jasmine tea!

"Welcome home," Itachi greeted with a smile when his mother turned to walk into the kitchen. Not even three seconds after that, Naruto came sliding down the bannister of the staircase, landing fifteen feet away from me. Sasuke was at his heels, jumping over the railing on the second floor and landing on the shiny marble tiles below.

"Nee-chan!" they simultaneously yelled. Sasuke crashed into my legs in the genkan only a second after Naruto, and I kneeled down to hug my boys.

This gushy, awkward warmth I feel…

I guess this is what it means to have a _real_ home…a _real_ family.

* * *

MY GOD WHAT A LONG CHAPTER! Word-count-wise is probably isn't. What I mean is that it took _so_ much editing to bring this chapter together and present it to you guys the way it is. So much stuff happened. I was supposed to get this out like, last week or more ago, but I got so sick, had to miss work, still went to my graduation, blah blah blah. Excuses, excuses. It's appaling and unacceptable.

A few things to mention:

First: the next chapter is going to be a time-skip!

Second: There will be many POVs that I'm going to cycle through next chapter! The time will flow chronologically, so each POV will be later in the time line than the last.

Third: I've been waiting to get to this time-skip _forever_ and I can't wait to write what happens after it!

If all goes well, I hope that I can get it out soon, within days, instead of weeks. If you guys are confused at all, need clarification, etc. _please_ PM me. I have no trouble reminding you of details, explaining things, etc.

As always,

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: This is unnecessary. If I owned Naruto… well… I don't think I need to finish that sentence.


	20. Congratulations!

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!:

Yuzuha survived the exam and became a chunin, along with the rest of the Konoha genin that took the exam. Because Hiruzen noticed that Yagura was being controlled by "the masked man," he made a compromise with the village leader: Information and help for peace, instead of domination. Yagura agreed to give Konoha access to its records to look for the masked man that could have orchestrated the kyuubi attack that killed the fourth hokage. He also agreed to give Konoha its training methods for training their hunter nin so Konoha could beef up their own ranks. On top of all of this, Yagura agreed to have some of his forces join Konoha in the search for "the masked man," since Yagura wants answers as to why he was taken control of. Trade opened up between Kiri and Konoha and Hiruzen is hopeful that something good will come of the alliance between the two kage.

* * *

 **Sakura**

"Sakura-chan! You're going to be late!"

Sakura grit her teeth, her whole body shaking as she held a low plank, elbows digging into the drab, pale carpet of her bedroom floor, fingers laced as if she were praying.

 _Just another minute mom… just one more minute and I'll reach my goal._

She'd been practicing holding that position for ten minutes straight. It was a ridiculous thing, but she knew it would bring her pleasure to smirk into Uchiha Sasuke's face and tell him she did it. He had bet her two riceballs and a week of servitude that she couldn't plank for ten minutes straight by the end of the week. Now she could tell him that he was wrong _and_ brag about having better core strength than Ino. Naruto would applaud her and Yuzu-nee would laugh. Sasuke would suffer as her slave.

 _I'll teach you to be so smug. Stupid boy. Why does Ino even like you!_

She breathed in deeply through her nose despite her shaking body and exhaled twice, a trick Shisui-nii taught her that helped with both bearing pain and exercise.

 _Thirty more seconds…_

"Saku _ra_!"

The annoyance in her mother's tone was plainer than day. Still, she ignored her. When the woman walked in through her bedroom door, she had five seconds to go, all of which her mother stood there silently for. When Sakura finally collapsed with a relieved exhale, she spoke.

"Is this about that bet with the Uchiha boy?"

"This is _exactly_ about that bet, kaa-san!"

She pushed off the ground and tucked her feet near her hands, then rose to her full height, shoulders straight with pride.

"I'm going to wipe that smug smirk right off his face, shannaro!" She jabbed the air in front of her excitedly.

Her mother chuckled, applauding her spirit. "Alright! You go show those boys who's boss! …But first eat breakfast you disobedient child. Come on!"

She knew her mom was joking and laughed while she followed her downstairs.

* * *

On her way to the academy, she ran into Ino, her best friend and greatest rival. Ino was sixty-five billion times girlier than Sakura and had a major crush on Sasuke, something she could never understand. Sakura still liked her, though, despite her poor taste.

"Hey forehead!" Ino stuck her tongue out and practically skipped next to her. Sakura smiled at her.

"What's up, pig?"

"Ooooh nothing," her best friend chirped, clasping her hands behind her back, "Just excited to be put on a team with Sasuke-kun!"

Sakura rolled her eyes in response. "Ino, he's a jerk with a capital 'j'." How many times were they going to have this conversation?

"Yeah, but he's a cute jerk. Imagine our babies!"

 _Bleh_.

"I'd rather not. How did that thing with the flowers go?" she asked to change the subject.

"Oh, you mean that order that went missing?"

"Yeah that one."

"You wouldn't believe it!" Ino raised her hands and clasped them together. "This _really_ hot police officer found it— I don't know what clan he was from, he wasn't wearing an insignia, or anything, but apparently, some thief took the box while it was on its way to the store! They caught the guy or whatever, and mom was _so_ relieved. She loves roses the most and the blue ones were so expensive."

"Were any of them damaged?"

"You know what…actually no. I think the thief was planning on reselling them outside of Konoha, or something. But still that officer…"

Ino had stars in her eyes and a blush on her cheeks. Sakura could tell her best friend was on a different planet. Now that the police force had allowed anyone on it, there was a little bit of a surplus of law enforcement that could deal with the smaller issues like stolen goods and defaced property. The boy that delivered the stolen box of roses Ino's mother ordered was probably a fresh recruit and most likely didn't belong to any prominent clan. A lot of civillians had been applying to join as well, so he may have even been a neighbor of Sakura's. Taking another look at Ino, Sakura decided not to burst her image of the boy.

"How's the bet with Sasuke-kun going?" Ino suddenly asked. Sakura knew she was just fishing for information about her friend. She gave her a flat look, then smirked and slammed her fist into her palm.

"He's going to lose," she cackled. When she looked at Ino, the blonde was pale. Sakura blushed and rubbed the back of her head. She showed the intensity of her competitiveness and wasn't surprised that it was a little intimidating. "Really, though. I managed it. I held the plank for ten whole minutes! I did it this morning!"

Ino shot her a concerned look and crossed her arms as they continued their trek to the academy, past the bustling Konoha market and around groups of children playing tag before school.

"You know, Sakura… if you keep trying to keep up with those two you'll never grow boobs. Take a break and, I don't know, drink some whole milk or something…"

"I _am_ keeping up with them!" she snapped back, pinning Ino with a defensive scowl. Scared, Ino put her hands up.

"Jeez, relax. Are you getting your period or something? Of all the things that would make you mad, "she shook her head, "okay, so you _are_ keeping up with them, whatever. My point is that you're going to be a a stick figure forever if you keep working out like a psycho."

" _False,_ " Sakura haughtily claimed, lifting a lecturing index finger at her friend. "Although body fat does make an impact on a woman's shape, it will never change her genetics. If I'm meant to have curves, my body will just give me curves and boobs and whatever. If I'm genetically meant to be a noodle, I'm going to be a noodle. That's it. Food doesn't give you an hourglass shape, Ino. Genes do."

Ino rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where'd you learn that one anyway?"

Sakura gave her a toothy grin, and pulled a medical text out of her bag.

"I got it from this little friend here. It's a book all about DNA and genetic code. I can't _wait_ to get to the part about anomalies in genetic code and the different effects they cause on the body."

"Are you even allowed to have that book?"

"Well… I don't really know. I got it from Uta-nee. It was one of her first books, but I don't think there's any harm in learning advanced stuff, not if it's from a book that doesn't belong to the village library. There isn't a thing on jutsu of any kind here."

"Hmm… I guesso. Hey, think you can teach me that technique Uta-nee taught you? We're about to go into the real world, after today. I think that maybe a healing jutsu will come in handy."

"Uhm… I can _ask_ … today after school I'll ask her if it's okay to spread that kind of information." Sakura nodded to herself and caught Ino smiling at her.

"Well, here we are. May the best woman end up on Sasuke-kun's team," Ino giggled and pointed at the door.

"More like the unluckiest."

"Right, right. May the best woman end up on _Naruto-kun's_ team then," she jibed and shoved a blushing Sakura through the entrance to the academy building.

" _Hey_! Just what are you trying to say! It's not like that!"

Ino cackled and continued guiding Sakura down the hall. "Maybe Shisui-san will be your sensei and you can be together forever!"

Sakura put her cold hands on her cheeks to stop them from burning and shot a glare at Ino. " _Ino_!" she hissed and then looked left and right, paranoid that someone would hear. She had the biggest crush on the older Uchiha for multiple reasons.

Ino cackled evilly, but she didn't pursue the topic as the two girls approached their dark green classroom door.

"I hope my sensei is cool," Ino mused aloud.

"I just hope mine is sane. Yuzu-nee told me about her sensei," Sakura shuddered, "and I don't think I want to be running laps around the village for three hours… or carrying a stick everywhere for not having a kunai ready during an exercise…"

Ino let out a short laugh.

"A stick!? Really!?"

"Yeah. She had to carry it for _weeks_ just 'cause she didn't have a kunai readily accessible during a random simulated attack or something."

"I don't wanna end up like that," Ino paled, "let's get moving."

Ino slid open the door and the girls entered the classroom. Sakura hoped it would be for the last time. She heard that some genin weren't good enough on their first few missions and actually got sent back!

 _That won't be me. I'm going to be strong_.

* * *

 **Naruto**

Sasuke huffed as he threw his bag in the genkan of Naruto's apartment.

"Why are you so pissy?" Naruto asked his friend as he slid his shoes off and shut the door to the empty apartment. It was a good thing that his older sister wasn't home or else she'd probably twist Sasuke's ear for that kind of attitude. Naruto padded across the worn wooden floor to the kitchen. There was a note on a cup of ramen on the counter.

 _Remember, your limit is one a day. Eat your vegetables!_

 _Love, Yuzu-nee_

She had drawn a heart and some squiggly shuriken that would have made Sai laugh if he wasn't with his new team right now.

"We're stuck with _Sakura,_ " Sasuke grumped and threw himself onto the only twin bed in the apartment. It squeaked in protest to his abuse but he ignored it. Frowning, Naruto grabbed his bed roll and unfurled it on the floor next to the bed, then went back to the kitchen. He fished another cup of ramen from the cabinet to make for Sasuke and set his teapot on the stove to boil.

 _I'll eat my vegetables tomorrow, then. At least Mikoto-sama made them._

Naruto shrugged at Sasuke's statement. "Sakura-chan's smart. Probably smarter than both of us. She's got all the strategies in the books memorized _and_ she aced first aid," he defended his pink-haired crush.

Sasuke leveled the blond with an annoyed stare.

"A monkey could ace first aid."

Naruto narrowed his blue eyes at him. "You didn't."

"That's not the point! We're stuck with someone with obvious pink hair and—and… I don't know. She makes me mad. A lot."

Naruto studied his best friend. Sasuke looked confused and embarrassed. Why was it such a big deal that Sakura was on their team?

"At least we know her. Team twelve never even hung out before. Sai probably feels pretty awkward now. I heard they all decided to have dinner with their sensei."

"He'll live. Since when has Sai ever failed at anything? Those girls'll probably end up worshipping him by the end of the night; him and his artwork." He exhaled and then murmured, "I wish I knew what to expect tomorrow. That guy, Kakashi… if you hadn't played that stupid prank I bet you _anything_ he'd have told us more about the test." Naruto felt Sasuke's glare pierce his back as he watched the pot start to steam from the spout.

"Well, he _did_ tell us not to eat or we'll throw up. That's something, right?" Naruto chewed on his lower lip and ignored Sasuke's jibe as he waited for the soup to steep. "Yuzu-nee would know…" he muttered as he looked past Sasuke and placed a hand on his chin. "Hey, I know!" With a grin, he smashed his fist into an open palm. "We should ask Itachi-nii! Is he back from his mission yet?"

Sasuke shook his head at his friend.

"He said he _might_ be home early, but it's only been two out of three days. Can you sense that far and check?"

Naruto shook his head.

"I can feel a whole block out if I try, but the compound is way too far. I'm just not that good…yet."

Sasuke smirked at him.

"Well, you better get good and fast. I heard this Kakashi guy failed every team he's been assigned so far. If we don't pass his test we're going to get sent back."

"Aaaarhhh!" Naruto ran his hands through his blonde hair anxiously, "I know, I know! It _sucks_. I didn't even know that was _possible_ -ttebayo!"

"Let's eat _a lot_ tonight. So much that we'll still be full tomorrow," Sasuke suggested.

"Does it even work that way?" Naruto chewed on his bottom lip as he fished two mismatched pairs of chopsticks out of the cabinet and trudged over to his friend. "That's not _technically_ breaking the rules… I kind of like it."

"If we eat _a lot_ of noodles and rice we should be good till at least lunch time tomorrow," Sasuke added.

A wicked grin spread across Naruto's face. "Let's do it." Then, an idea struck him. "Hey, why don't we just go to your house. Your mom will make us extra rice, right?"

"Are you insane? We can't let _anyone_ know what we're doing. Not a single soul. No one."

"…You have a point. I think I have rice somewhere here." Naruto turned around and looked through the kitchen's cabinets. Bingo. There was a small sack that could make about ten cups of rice in a lower cabinet.

He turned and found Sasuke smirking, then removed the pot from the burner when it started to whistle.

"Let's get to work," Sasuke ordered and moved to rummage through the cabinets for a pot.

"Hey, shouldn't we tell Sakura-chan to do the same?" Naruto paused in the middle of lifting the sack out of the cabinet.

"She'll probably cry about getting fat or something. We don't have time to waste. It's already eight-thirty and we have to be there at five tomorrow morning. Do the math."

Naruto shrugged, confident that if they could figure out this loophole, Sakura definitely could. She was probably stuffing her face right as they were speaking.

"Go pour water in the pot, I guess," he instructed and dumped the sack of rice onto the countertop.

* * *

"C'mon Sasuke! We can't just let her _starve_!" Naruto put his foot down and cast an open arm towards their teammate, bound to a post. Sakura was silently fuming, cheeks as pink as her hair. Her anger was almost as solid and potent as the bento box in his hands.

" _No._ You baby her too much! She was dumb enough to trip, _trip,"_ he stressed, _"_ into that trap and—

"You _shoved_ me you ungrateful jerk! I stepped in to save you and your sorry duck-butt haircut, and you _shoved_ m—

"My hair just grows this way! Don't even start with me!"

"Jeez, guys relax, will ya! Time out for a second-ttebayo!" Naruto bent over, mimicking an old man and beginning to feel like one.

Last night, Sasuke's plan backfired on them both. They were so nauseous from the ramen and rice that they couldn't sleep right, at least Sasuke couldn't. Naruto himself got about three hours in, thanks to his metabolism, but of course that did nothing for Sasuke's horrible mood at five in the morning. Sakura made it worse by being cheerful when they met her and the bickering hadn't stopped since then.

They had agreed that something was up with Kakashi-sensei's instructions. They just didn't make sense. Sakura pointed out that no genin-level team ever started out with two people; it just wasn't done, so there had to be a catch to the whole "one of you will be sent back" thing. They decided to work together instead, get both bells and deal with whatever challenge came after that, but it didn't make getting the bells any easier.

Sakura _did_ break Sasuke's fall after he got hit with a mean kick, and Sasuke _did_ shove her, but it was only on accident. He used her to push off of a solid surface, completely on instinct, and unfortunately, that knocked her off balance, forcing her foot onto a trap they didn't know was there. She hung upside down and just before Naruto could cut her down, their timer ran out and their mean proctor tied her to the stump they were currently arguing in front of.

He sighed and rubbed his face, Sasuke and Sakura watching him intently, the electricity of annoyance almost visible between them.

"Look, we'll never get the stupid bells while tired _and_ hungry. He's not here anyway and there's no way he's watching. If we give her half of both of our portions it should be enough," he compromised.

Sasuke paused for a long time, battling Naruto with his calculating expression before he finally crossed his arms and huffed, "Fine, but I'm not feeding her."

Naruto shrugged. That didn't matter to him. What was important was that they all ate something. On cue, Sakura's stomach rumbled and she blushed cutely. Naruto opened up the bento and his heart pounded as he lifted a piece of food to her mouth with his chopsticks. She was just as embarrassed as he was but the feeling of Sasuke's growing disgust right next to him kept him grounded.

As soon as his teammate chewed and swallowed the first piece of fish he fed her, the sky turned dark and ominous and an angry Kakashi-sensei loomed over them.

"You…you three broke the rules," the older man accused, his voice booming as if it were the thunder to the storm brewing above them.

Sasuke cut Sakura loose and the three of them readied their weapons. They would fight to the death if they had to. They already decided that they'd be a team.

"You…pass!" The sky cleared and Kakashi-sensei's one eye seemed happier than they'd ever seen it.

"…Eh?" the three of them echoed.

Naruto learned a valuable lesson that day:

 _In the ninja world those who do not follow the rules are called trash. But those that don't take care of their friends are worse than trash._

* * *

 **Kakashi**

Kakashi observed his pupils as they cried over the bodies. Zabuza and Haku… if the two Kiri nin had only asked for help sooner…

Sasuke collapsed against Naruto. The young Uchiha had awakened his sharingan in the heat of battle and the exhaustion had finally gotten to him.

"Sasuke!" Sakura shrieked, dropping to her knees next to the duo as Naruto gracefully lowered his best friend to the ground in a supine position. It was the first genuine concern Sakura hsd shown for the boy since Kakashi met them. It was also the first time Naruto's social skills kept the trio together. They were growing as a team.

"His pulse is normal." He watched the rosette as she dropped her fingers from his neck and pulled out a pen light, then forced Sasuke's eyelids open to check beneath them. "It's just exhaustion," she revealed with genuine relief. Naruto exhaled in relief.

She reminded him so much of Rin, aside from her brash and head-strong attitude.

" _My dream is to become the toughest combat medic in Konoha!"_

Naruto reminded him of Obito, in both his optimism and competitive nature.

" _My dream is to become hokage!"_

Sasuke was so much like himself when he was younger. He had big shoes to fill and a reputation to uphold.

" _My dream isn't a dream, it's a goal… it's to be the best. That's it. I want to surpass my older brother."_

He knew he was going to have his hands full, but at least the three stuck together and worked as an efficient cell, Naruto and Sasuke specifically, which wasn't surprising considering that the two have been together since they were in diapers.

At least his sensei's wife could rest in peace knowing that her son was practically a brother to Mikoto's son. If only she could see them now…

"Hang on, I'm going to heal his cuts!"

He watched Sakura's little hands glow green.

 _I'm going to try to make you proud, sensei, Obito, Rin. Maybe this time things will turn out differently._

* * *

 **Shisui**

Shisui stood in front of councilman Danzo with a straight face, not unlike the duo of root operatives flanking the only exit in the underground headquarters that belonged to the man in front of him. He tried not to focus on the tree roots weaving in and out of the bland floor, ceiling and walls. It was a dark and unnerving sight, but poetically described the heart and soul of the root faction… if it even knew what "heart" and "soul" were anymore. If hokage-sama knew of root, Shisui didn't know, but he debated on informing the old man of this encounter… and the offer that was presented to him. He didn't know what to do with the choice he was presented…if it even was a choice.

Before, when he was younger, Danzo did ask him to be his personal guard; but Shisui politely declined. He wanted to serve under the hokage, in the regular forces where he could make a difference, where he could protect those he loved, even if it was from a distance. He used to think that true heroes, true _shinobi_ operated from the darkest corners of the world, silently making a difference, but his time in anbu proved that things weren't as black and white as he thought.

Yuzuha was taking out the real menaces of the world. Mopping up the scum that tried to harm Konoha, however indirectly she was instructed to do on missions. Shisui, on the other hand, was shipped off to spy at and whore within the capital, eyes and ears peeled bare for scraps of information that were more of a violation to his mind and body than they were a help to his leadership. He thought that the higher up in rank you were, the more of a difference you were able to personally make. What a farce that idea was. Konoha's jonin forces were the real saviors of the village.

The anbu were the wolves in the night, small cogs part of a larger mechanism that in turn fueled a large clock. Their missions were dangerous, yes. Death was so easy to catch, but many of them were under cover for missions, smiling to strangers and keeping up fake alibis constructed to hide the killers that they really were. Sometimes he had spent hours in a bar, drinking until he found a lead, and sometimes he spent hours in a restaurant, serving others until his target made an appearance. No matter how bloody and gruesome it was, it was always easier running through trees, fighting in legitimate battles and sometimes making someone happy at the completion of a mission. It was easier, mentally, to be a soldier than a faker.

He felt some anger, yes, but love for his village and the one young woman that made the place shine like gold in his twisted eyes overrode that rage entirely. For them, for her, it was all worth it, wasn't it? Every woman that moaned or screamed in agony at his touch, every fat and comfortable man that gagged on his or her own blood over the dumbest of contracts, every child he left orphaned in his wake were a sacrifice that kept the village intact. It _had_ to be worth it. Sometimes this was the only thought that got him through a mission. It became his mantra, " _It's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it."_ Every Konoha smile is worth every one of his own frowns.

"Think about the offer, Uchiha-san. It would be a great help to have your… curious eyes on our side."

 _That_ gained his attention. Councilor Danzo knew, somehow. When had he seen his mangekyo? Lying was impossible. His information couldn't be false. Danzo couldn't dream up something like this if he hadn't somehow seen proof himself. If Shisui lied, there would be punishment.

"I was waiting until I knew more about it to say anything. I figured it was more of a detriment than a benefit if it wasn't under my complete control," he quickly spoke. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either.

It worked.

The old man shut his eyes and nodded. Even in his own barren office he seemed to refuse to relax. He never sat in the stiff wooden chair, never leaned on the wooden block that was his desk. He stood in front of it, straight-backed with his hands on his cane in front of him, a gesture to make it seem like a relaxed pose, even though it wasn't. Shisui had no doubt that that misleading cane could skewer him where he stood.

"I see. Perhaps this meeting was premature, then?"

He prayed to any power available and listening that the man couldn't smell the information he omitted; that Shisui spent hours and hours in the Uchiha compound's underground library looking for and finding information on his eyes, and had found out almost everything about them; that he spent hours testing his eyes until he felt their need to establish complete control over Itachi's mind, a willing test subject in his experiment; that he found out he could establish complete and irrevocable control over someone's mind should he wish to.

Most importantly, he prayed that his expression remained neutral, but not too neutral. Too neutral would mean that he was hiding something and that could never bode well for him in a crypt like this with its Lord of the underworld looming over him.

"Perhaps," he agreed with a slight tip of his head.

"Then I suggest you make it your priority to educate yourself, Uchiha-san. I will find whatever information I can for you and advise that you save your surprise when I have it delivered to you."

"… _find whatever information I can for you?"_

 _Stay the hell away from my clan._

Another flash of anger and the overwhelming urge to protect went unexpressed beneath his skin. Yuzuha was right; no matter how esteemed this man was, his methods were certainly questionable. His anbu were abnormal, void of any soul in their eyes and his ability to pry into others' private lives came as easily to him as breathing.

His instincts screamed that he didn't like it; any of it. How blind he was to even consider personally working for him in the past.

"Understood."

The old man nodded.

"You are dismissed."

Shisui bowed deeply, a show of respect he performed out of custom more than genuine reverence, and then turned around to leave this place and never return.

"Oh, and, Uchiha-san?"

The innocent tone was a façade for the underlying threat and his anxiety returned. The door was _right there_.

 _Let me leave._

"I heard Uzumaki-san has reached Tan-ryo with Jiraiya."

"…I didn't know that."

"Yes, well, it would be a shame if any mention of this meeting were to somehow… _reach her_."

 _Bastard._

"What meeting?" he wisely responded, adding an innocent tone to his voice that he didn't mean. Danzo chuckled.

"I do hope you enjoy the rest of your day."

"You as well, Danzo-sama," he replied over his shoulder, refusing to look at the man for fear of revealing his seething rage.

It wasn't until he shut the door of his house behind him that he allowed himself to shake. With a roar, he put his fist through the compound of his wall, cracking the sheet rock behind it. The pain of his cut skin was a relief of sorts; it helped him focus. He watched as his blood slowly dripped down the pale, crème surface.

"What do I do?" Did he have any choice? Those soulless automatons were going to start poking their noses into Uchiha business under Danzo's orders to "help" him. It would cause friction that they had _just_ settled! He couldn't refuse the offer, not directly. Somehow, he knew that _no_ wasn't going to cut it. If he refused, Danzo would threaten Yuzuha, like he just did.

"What do I _do_?" he repeated through clenched teeth. "Think, Shisui!" He ripped his fist out of the hole with a growl and slammed it back in, hitting a wooden beam and causing it to splinter. More blood. Stupid, Uchiha blood that cursed him with eyes that a vulture like Danzo wanted to use for his own secret purposes that would be illegally fulfilled without the hokage ever knowing.

…without the hokage ever knowing.

But what if he _did_ know? Not about Shisui's meeting with Danzo, but about his eyes. If he told him about his ability then maybe, just maybe he'd earn himself some kind of protection of sorts from the hokage. No doubt the village leader would want to utilize his eyes like he did Itachi's. He'd put Shisui on risky missions where the failsafe was the ability of his sharingan, just like he did with Itachi. It would put Shisui under the direct supervision of the hokage and he'd rather be under the hokage's command than Danzo's.

He'd rather slink around in the shadows, slaying monsters and completing his missions legally and on paper, rather than be an instrument of a clandestine faction that was supposed to be dead and gone for reasons that proved it wasn't beneficial to the village.

He decided that the next chance he got, he was going to tell Hokage-sama about his eyes and tip him off to "suspicious individuals" slinking around the compound at night, alarming individuals that wear odd masks and cloaks.

It was a stretch but he had to try to keep the peace between the Uchiha and the village, and he had to keep himself out of tree-root room and the suffocating feeling of corruption within it.

When he exhaled, confident in his plan, the pain in his hand hit him ten-fold and he groaned.

"Why?" he asked himself in a whiny tone as he quickly pulled his fist out of the hole and to his chest, leaving droplets of blood, flakes of debris and some sheetrock to fall to the wooden floor beneath his feet.

One thing at a time. He moved to go upstairs and take care of his wound first. He'd visit the hokage right afterwards.

* * *

"Are you sure nothing happened? Nothing at all? You weren't attacked? Like _at all_?"

A week later, he was interrogating Yuzuha in front of their tree in the woods, crossing his arms and scrutinizing her, trying not to seem imposing or over-eager.

As expected, her eyes narrowed in suspicion: mission failed. She caught on to him.

"I haven't seen you in what, six months? And you ask me to come all the way here," she waved her hand to indicate the clearing they were both familiar with, "to interrogate me about my trip. Not ask, _interrogate_ —two different things right there— so what's up?" she damnded, crossing her arms and pinning him with a stare.

"Nothing." His face was too straight and he _swore_ he saw the rage flash through the grey of her eyes.

"Shisui," she warned, "don't lie to me. I'm not stupid." Uh-oh, she brought up her intelligence; he's caught. She _hates_ having her intelligence questioned.

"Look, I just heard some things, okay?" he lied with an authentic look of defeat, as if she actually won. It broke his heart because he hated, _hated_ lying to her. "I heard about some things specifically in Tan-ryo, where you were before you came back. If nothing happened there then you either missed the action or I just heard empty rumors and my colleagues need to stop running their mouths."

She gave him a long look, during which he thought he started sweating with anxiety, but she finally relented, the expression on her pretty face turning into one of exhausted annoyance. She put her knuckles on her hip and leaned against the vine-covered trunk of their tree.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

He nodded. "Just tired," he raised his hands, "I promise."

 _You liar… you're not okay. You haven't been in a while._

"What else is new?" she rolled her eyes and sighed, "You're always gone. I'm not surprised you feel wrecked."

"Hey! Look who's talking! You've been gone half a year. You need a haircut," he pointed at her head. She smirked and his heart leapt a little.

" _You_ need a haircut!" she threw back heatedly with a blush on her cheeks.

"Then come with me," he offered, motioning a hand in the general direction of the village.

"With you in _that_?" she pointed at his white, blood-stained, vest. "I'd rather not attract more attention than I already do."

He looked down at the brown, diagonal splatter. Someone's artery busted all over him when he ran him through his sword. There were too many of them for him to remember which one it was. As he'd expected, his missions became more dangerous, but he welcomed the change. It was better than being undercover for weeks on end.

"Fine, come to my house."

She shrugged and he took off, trusting that she'd be right behind him. They were his front door not long after that and she took her place on his couch while he automatically went upstairs to shower and change.

"Don't forget to throw that vest out, it's trash!" she called from downstairs, knowing his bad habit of leaving his clothes everywhere, both clean and dirty. He smirked as he paused in front of his bedroom door.

"Yes mother!" he called back down, but got no reply.

He almost fell asleep under the hot spray of water and it took him a whole twenty minutes to get back downstairs. Yuzuha was napping. He just stopped and stared, the ran a hand through his damp curls.

 _What am I going to do about you? This situation isn't fair._

She had developed over the time that he had spent frequently gone from the village, only seeing her in passing. Some girls were still ugly ducklings at seventeen; not her. Or at least, being biased because of his feelings, he thought she was prettier than the rest. He'd always think she's prettier than the rest.

He prowled over and gently shook her shoulder, rustling the near-silent zippers of her high-collared cropped jacket.

"Yuzu," he whispered, not really sure why.

She blinked three times, and then focused on his face. "About time, princess." She grinned and he helped her sit up. "Let's go." She smiled as she straightened out the fabric of her red tank top.

"Yes your excellency, let us leave this shack of an abode," he artfully articulated with a fancy wave of his hand towards the hallway.

She huffed out a laugh and moved ahead of him, into the hallway that led to his front door. She stopped at the hole he put through his wall. He had patched it up poorly, as he didn't really care. Maybe he should have sanded down the spackle and painted over it. Then again, that was a tedious endeavor. He'd rather do a D-rank mission.

"Are you ever going to tell me why you punched a hole in this wall? What did it ever do to you?" She slid accusing grey eyes towards him and he stiffened, shaking his head.

"It's not important anymore."

She shrugged but he didn't miss the concern in her eyes. He regretted lying to her yet again, but what could he do?

 _At least tell her part of the truth…_

Her feminine hand reached for the knob and turned it. He didn't let her finish the action; his hand shot out and covered hers. The intensity in his eyes must have startled her because she looked at him with wide, surprised eyes.

"Actually, there is something I have to tell you."

* * *

 **Yuzuha**

If Shisui's face wasn't so serious I don't know if I could have continued looking at him like that. His hand was large and rough over mine and he smelled like the faintest bit of cedarwood, probably his off-duty soap. He glowed up from when we were young and I never had the time to really notice until now.

He grew into his nose, his jaw squared off and his eyes retained their thick lashes and cat-like shape. He kind of looked like Tom a little with his thick, curly hair and full lips. It was a little heart-breaking every time I looked at him. Him being this close was fucking with my head. I don't know if staring at him more will just hurt or help. Maybe if I find enough differences between him and the man I loved for years before I died I'll be less… I don't know, haunted, I guess? As my eyes darted left and right I took in the finer details of his face. His skin is paler than Tommy's was and doesn't have any hyper pigmentation spots on it. His hair is _black_. Not just a dark brown. _Black_. His eyes are charcoal, not brown. Different. I swallowed the emotion in my throat.

You're not looking at the man you left behind. Stop being an asshole, Yuzuha.

Shisui was always taller than me but now he was _extra_ taller than me, and no less graceful. If anything, his time in anbu made him more preadator-like. His movements were like a panther's— smooth and silent and quick. Otherworldly. Seeing him use his body, even to do the simplest things like climb a set of stairs, I understood why shinobi were feared amongst the civilian population. The powerful ones, like Shisui, were efficient and elegant in a way that made them seem absent of failure, absent of humanity. I'd be a blue-nosed liar if I said he wasn't attractive.

I shook my head to get it together. "What is it?"

"You're going to need to sit down for this."

So he led me back into the living room and we sat on his couch, my anxiety spiking through the roof. I couldn't lean back to chill like usual and it was one of those moments where you need a stress ball. Shisui almost _never_ gets this serious. In fact, he's been _different_ since I got back. Something is off. Something is wrong and I've been forcing myself to ignore it. He's not as chipper as usual.

"Danzo knows about my eyes."

" _What_?" That anxiety morphed from stress to irritation _really_ quick. "What do you mean he knows? How did he find out? I thought you said you'd—

He held up his hands, open-palmed and I realized that I'd pounced on him like a lioness on a wounded gazelle.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and looked down at my lap in embarrassment.

"You were right when you said that guy is… questionable, to say the least. I was minding my own business when I was surrounded by a bunch of shinobi in blank masks. Guess who?"

I kept my mouth shut. He doesn't know I know about root.

"Newer jonin don't have clearance to know…" he chewed on the bottom of his lip and looked away for a moment as if deciding, but then pinned me with a look of determination, "but there was a faction called 'root' at one point. We haven't been told anything except that hokage-sama ordered it to be disbanded not long ago and to be patient with its former members who are now in anbu. Between our own ranks, we know they were treated inhumanely and blah blah blah," he shook his head in frustration, "it's not that important except that it wasn't really disbanded like they say it was. Anyway, they basically forced me to go with them. When I got there… I knew what you were talking about all those years ago, that night I told you about my eyes. Imagine how I felt in front of him when I declined his offer to join root and he told me that eyes like mine would be 'beneficial to the village.'"

 _Bastard_. An all-too-familiar rage bubbled beneath my skin and I _swear_ I faintly heard Kurama laughing at me, but I didn't care. Death-breath-Danzo is trying to take advantage of Shisui… again! He wants him to fucking join up and wear some bullshit outfit and be some asshole in a blank mask and… rrrragh! It makes me so fucking mad! Unforgivable! This is _bullshit_.

"What now?"

How on Earth did he get out of a situation like that?

"I lied and said I was still looking into the abilities of my eyes and didn't want to use them until I could fully control them."

"Good choice of words..." My arms were crossed to tightly across my middle I almost felt my lunch swimming against my skin.

"Anyway, right after that I told hokage-sama."

My eyes widened so far I'm pretty sure I got stretch marks.

"About _root_?"

If he told him about root it would be enough evidence to prove disobedience and possibly even betrayal!

Shisui shook his head and shattered all my dreams not even a second later.

"Why _not_!?" I straight-up whined. No regard for how childish that made me look at all. He gave me a flat look.

"You're not concerned at all about the fact that I told him about my eyes."

"Of course I am. I'm just wondering why on earth you're letting that guy get away with being not only insubordinate, but hiding things from jiji that have already been deemed illegal… although I suppose snitching could end up with them trying to put you in your grave." I met his eyes with a fierce look. "And that's unacceptable."

He shot me a tired smile.

"Thanks."

I shrugged. "Why'd you tell me, anyway?"

He paused for a moment and said, "I don't know. If anyone can keep a secret it's you and Itachi. Besides, I _hate_ that suspicious look on your face. It makes me feel bad, you know?" He looked defeated and I snorted.

"Right and I'm actually an Uchiha. Look! Here's my sharingan!" I narrowed my eyes intensely and tried real hard to stare him to death. He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm serious!" he insisted and shoved me. I laughed in relief.

"C'mon," he rose to his feet, "let's go. Didn't you say Utau wanted to meet up?"

"That she did. She has plans for Itachi's party."

Shisui leaked it to our friend group that Itachi received a "promotion, of sorts." I have no idea how that works in anbu because… ding ding ding! You guessed it…

I DIDN'T FUCKING GET INTO IT!

Yep. That's right. Itachi was promoted about a year and a half or so after that exam from hell. And me?

"I'm sorry, Yuzuha. It just isn't possible. The council feels you'd be a far better instructor than an anbu."

Yep. They wanted me in charge of a genin team. Yep, me. Yuzuha.

Are they fucking insane!? That makes no sense!

Jiji didn't want me in anbu for a reason and he knew I'd straight-up refuse to teach some brats, so he gave me the option, so I could refuse it, so I could stay in my place. I haven't been able to figure out why, like, at all. I don't have any inside knowledge like I should at this point. If Itachi's in anbu, I should be too! So what the actual _fuck_ gramps!? Remembering it made me fume.

"You guys are throwing him a party?"

I shrugged. "Well, yeah…it would help knowing just what _kind_ of promotion he got while being in the highest rank, like ever…" I stood straight and tried to death-stare Shisui for answers. He just laughed, placed his palm against my head and gently shoved to move me out of his way.

"I'm not allowed to give inside information like that."

"Oh come _on_! What does it take, Shisui!?" I followed him to the door. "I'll do your laundry! I'll dust your attic! I'll even fix your wall the rest of the way, just tell me!" I wailed, waving my arms like a child.

He laughed as he shut and locked the door behind me, me fuming in the streets while the neighbor's dandelion bits floated and brushed against the elaborate seal on the side of my left thigh in the warm breeze.

"You already know too much," he slipped his house key into the pocket of his long pants.

"Exactly, so what's the trouble in telling me more?"

He stopped in the street and I side-stepped to avoid crashing into his back.

"Do something for me."

Anything if it'll give me that information! I kept my mouth shut and looked at him. He wasn't laughing anymore. He didn't have to say anything.

"I'll stop asking. Sorry," I put my hands up in apologetic defeat.

His expression softened. "That's not what I was going to say," he almost whispered and slipped his hands into his pockets, "Just be careful and quiet. That's it. Promise me."

I shot him a smile.

"Of course."

* * *

After visiting a salon in the Uchiha district, we met up with Utau right on time. She was in a café, sipping on tea in a loose, flowy lavender shirt that reached the bottoms of her jet black shorts that were literally identical to mine in every single way since we had bought the same pair together. The frills and angelic color of her outfit did nothing to disguise her mischievous nature, though.

You ain't foolin' me, Uta-chan. She _definitely_ has something up her sleeve.

"Yuzu!" She hopped out of her chair and all but dove at me with open arms. I hugged her tightly.

"Are you trying to look innocent in that outfit?" I teased. She released me and smirked.

"I don't know, are you trying to look like a garbage bag in yours?" she smoothly insulted back with a raised brow. For a moment, we gave each other the bitch-face stare, and then burst into laughter. Shisui was sitting at the table by the time we moved to sit down.

"How was your trip? I haven't seen you in six months!" she asked as she pushed her chair in.

"Uneventful," I replied with a shrug. A young waitress surprised us almost ten seconds later. If I hadn't sensed her coming I'd have probably jumped. She was a pretty girl, obviously civilian, but quick on her feet. If she had started earlier she could have probably been a decent ninja. Her red-brown hair was tied in a pony tail that reached the middle of her back and her bangs were messy and partially clipped back with a yellow clip.

"Sh-Shisui-kun! I-it's good to see you again!" She was startled to see him sitting there. She was _not_ expecting him.

A vicious look flashed through the obsidian of Utau's doe-like eyes. Uh-oh…

Shisui chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yo, Akimi-chan!"

"Ah, uhm, right, uhm drinks?" she stuttered and looked to me, practically begging me for help with her eyes. Poor girl! Her cheeks were getting redder by the second. I valiantly ordered a tea as quickly as possible to end the awkward moment. Akimi almost died when Shisui said, "The same please." Utau was already nursing her strawberry-looking concoction and just smiled at the girl, completely innocent.

…Until Akimi turned around and left.

"So how did you guys enjoy your _date_?" She asked, intentionally raising her voice just an octave at "date." My jaw dropped and I felt Akimi's world crash around her airy chakra, but the girl kept walking, showing no signs of the heartbreak she was experiencing. I kicked Utau's shin _really_ hard, but like a true shinobi, she only smirked and casually placed her chin on her fist in response. There was no pain on her face. _Bitch_. I love the girl, but really!

Shisui was completely oblivious to the girl-hate around him.

"We weren't on a _date_." He grumbled quietly, looking to the side with red cheeks.

Utau shrugged. She wasn't about to argue any further. Her goal was reached: she destroyed the girl that wanted his heart.

"I know, I was joking. Anyway, why are you here? This was supposed to be a girls-only thing."

She twirled the tip of one of her low pigtails, indifferent to poor Akimi's feelings. What if her and Shisui could have had a thing-ttebane!? I kept a fierce glare on her but she ignored it like a pro.

"I didn't know," Shisui responded, then looked at me.

"I didn't know either," I informed him, then continued to glare at her. "I thought this was a meeting about Itachi's party."

Utau looked up from her drink and her eyes brightened.

"Ah, there she is!" I sensed Shima and Yusuke behind us and soon enough my friend scampered over, holding my teammates hand. I grinned at them both, especially Yusuke's red cheeks. They'd been officially dating for a while, but it was _beyond_ cute to see it in person.

"Yuzu-chan!" Shima was enthusiastic as always.

"Yo, Red." Yusuke grinned, cheeks still pink. I smirked at him.

" _You're_ the red one now." I pointed at his cheeks and Shisui, Utau and Shima all looked at him and then burst into laughter. Yusuke slid his palm down his face and groaned in embarrassment.

"I haven't seen you in six months and _this_ is how you greet me!?" he whined and waved an open palm at me.

I laughed and shrugged. "I couldn't resist. You guys are adorable."

Yusuke hadn't changed much in the years that I've been in and out of the village. His hair was still wild and brown, his jacket was still black and leather with tons of zippers and he was still tall as hell.

Shima still kept her hair in a ponytail and now wore some mascara and a dusting of light eyeshadow to complement her teal eyes and tan skin, probably at Utau's suggestion. Today she was in a white outfit that matched her hair. Her tunic was held together by a teal sash that matched her eyes and she was beyond brave to wear white shorts. The outfit stood out so prettily against her skin that I swear she could be on the cover of some magazine.

Shima turned and pecked Yusuke on the cheek.

"Alright, well, this is my stop."

Yusuke grinned like an idiot. Clearly, the girl made him beyond happy.

"I'll find you later," he promised and she winked.

"You better."

Yusuke let her hand go and Shisui politely gave up his seat, turning his head to Yusuke.

"We're not wanted here," he jokingly pouted and then, with a mischievous grin suggested, "Want to go spar?"

Yusuke practically pumped his fist.

"Hell yeah! I'll race you to the fields!"

"You sure about that?" Shisui smirked, like a cat about to murder his prey, and then without warning teleported. Yusuke reacted a second later and I wondered if he'd match up to the infamous shunshin-no-Shisui. Unfortunately, Utau kicked my shin, snapping me out of those thoughts mercilessly.

"Ow! That hurt!" I snapped at her.

"Good," she snipped, "yours hurt too."

"Why'd You hurt the poor girl's feelings anyway? That was catty of you," I chastised, wagging my index finger at her for special effect.

Shima blinked at us owlishly.

"What did I miss?"

I crossed my arms, glaring at Utau.

"I'll let her explain herself," I huffed, leaned back and crossed my arms, trying to seem as imposing as possible.

Utau tossed the pony tail she was playing with earlier behind her back and shrugged, taking an elegant sip of her tea.

"Just making sure no one steals Shisui-baka from Yuzu-chan, that's all," she replied nonchalantly.

"Hey! He's not an idiot and why on earth do you pair us so hard? There's—

—Nothing going on between me and him blah blah blah," Utau interrupted in a mocking high pitched tone, "I swear Utau, you're so _annoying_ ," she exhaled in exaggerated annoyance and looked up to the sky, "What kind of best friend tries to find relationship security for her very _inept_ best friend?" she finished, only halfway getting my standard response right. I would _not_ have said that part about the "inept best friend."

"I'm not inept!" I defended hotly.

She smirked at me. I felt cornered. She hit me where it hurts. I _hate_ having my intelligence questioned. It takes everything in me not to be a baby and whine until I prove myself. 'Shit really sets me off.

"If you weren't inept you'd just admit your feelings," she hissed under her breath. I sighed heavily and ran a hand through the part of my bangs that wasn't clipped back.

"When will you let this _go_? Shima, I don't have the energy today. Can you tell her to stop? Please?" I begged.

Shima laughed at us. "I missed this. I still don't know what happened."

"Well—

I felt Akimi coming back with our drinks and zipped my lip right as she exited the café, a pair of drinks on a silver platter balanced perfectly on the palm of her hand. She _really_ should have gone to the academy. When she reached our table, she seemed surprised that Shisui had left but didn't say anything about it as she placed the iced teas in front of myself and Shima. She knew Shima enough to know that the easy-going girl would happily take whatever drink was available, and didn't ask her if she wanted a different beverage. Instead she politely asked, "May I get you anything else, Shima-chan?" while holding the platter against her midsection like a shield. In the art of body language, that means she's insecure and literally needs a shield against us. Poor girl.

"Nah, I'll just steal what Shisui-san was having." Shima waved her hand, silently telling Akimi not to worry about it. Akimi nodded in response and said, "I'll be back to check on you guys in a minute! Do you need anything else as of now?" She looked to Utau and I, and we both shook our heads.

"Thank you, Akimi-san," I replied with as warm as smile as I could muster.

"No worries!" She bowed and flitted away, nimbly weaving around tables and chairs occupied with Konoha civilians politely chattering in low tones.

"So?" Shima egged me on.

"Right, right," I shook my head and dropped my tone to a whisper, "Okay, so poor Akimi-san obviously has feelings for Shisui, and _this one_ ," I turned and glared at Utau for a second before turning back to Shima, "decided to pipe up and ask me how my 'date' with Shisui went! Could you believe that? I felt her heart shatter. It was _cruel_." I practically spat the word at Utau as I said it. She was studying her lavender nails, making it a point to look like she really gave no fucks. Shima gasped with a hand over her pink lips.

"Uta-chan! You _didn't_!"

Utau coolly shrugged. "I was just trying to help a girl out."

I face-palmed.

"Y'know, I love you. I really do, but don't do that again. Please-ttebane," I groaned.

She smirked. "He blushed, just so you know. I'm telling you, you're in the clear."

"I don't feel that way about anyone. I can't afford to. My life belongs to Naruto and the safety of this village—that includes you— I don't have time to be messing around with feelings and boys when I need to be getting stronger. I need to—

"Oh no no no no _no._ Stop right there. I am _not_ hearing the 'I need power/I need to be invincible' speech. Nope. Not today. We're here to talk about something pressing." She put her game face on and lowered her head, looking left and right in a paranoid manner.

"No one _significant_ is around," I promised her, already having done a thorough sweep of our vicinity.

"What's up?" Shima whispered, also lowering her head. I leaned in, too and we were almost huddling.

"Well, the thing is that, Yuzu's outfit needs an interventi— _ow_!"

I kicked her again, and hissed, "Be serious!" She snickered and cleared her throat as if she were about to speak, but then kicked me once she had my full attention again. I wrinkled my nose but not much else. Shima chuckled and we were back to business.

"No really. I just need to vent and talk some crap. Izumi is getting on my nerves."

I blinked at her.

"Izumi-chan?" Shima was in disbelief.

"Yeah. She's getting _really_ cozy with Itachi-kun. I _hate_ it." Her expression broke into anxiety and her words came so fast it's a miracle they didn't crash into each other. "And we're almost eighteen, which means that it'll be time for him to pick soon and I'd be okay with losing him to Yuzu-chan, but to let that _ordinary_ girl have him!? I'd rather _die_! She's not even that strong but her dad's a really important lawyer like mine _and_ they have a clothing business so her family's successes are probably better than mine, so she'll probably be considered over m—

"Hold on hold on hold _on_." I held my palms up and leaned back confidently. This is stupid.

"You're freaking out over nothing."

She didn't believe me.

"Yuzu-chan's right," Shima agreed, "so what if they hang out a lot? That doesn't mean anything. You don't know how he feels about her. Or you."

"Yeah," I supported her, "for all you know he might be gay. He's really good at hiding his feelings."

Utau paled.

"Don't tell me that. Don't tell me you're serious!" She was horrified and rightfully so. Her heart would break into a million pieces just like Akimi's if Itachi turned out to not even be remotely attracted to her. I considered messing with her just to get some revenge in Akimi's name, but if there was anything that made Utau beyond paranoid and serious it was her undying love for Itachi.

"I'm joking. I don't know if he's gay or not. If he has feelings for anyone, man or woman, he's good at not showing them. Seriously, it stumps me too."

"And you know him best," Shima murmured, also leaning back. Utau tossed herself back against the chair.

"I love him and I don't want to lose to her, especially if I'm physically stronger. She doesn't even have the sharingan!" Utau threw her arms open at the blue sky above, literally sending her prayer upwards.

"Yet," I added.

Utau scrunched her face and rolled her eyes.

"Yet," she corrected herself, then crossed her arms and looked back at our faces. "But she'll probably never get it."

Shima shook her head.

"You're being petty. If it's meant to be it will be," Shima assured.

"Says the one with the boyfriend and the cute relationship!" Utau smirked, devilishly and lowered her tone. "Say, have you guys gone all the way yet?"

"E-eh!?" Shima blushed, putting her hands on her face to cool her red cheeks down. "Don't make me think of _that_!"

I snorted. "Uta, you pervert."

"Hey, can't blame a girl for asking."

"Thank god you guys didn't. I don't think I can handle that image," I stuck my tongue out. I have no desire of imagining my childhood teammate's dick thankyouverymuch.

"I won't torture you, I promise," Shima raised her right hand and sipped on the drink in front of her.

Just then, a burst of sunshine spread through my senses, accompanied by the faint sensation of a storm and a crisp, spring morning.

Team seven.

I turned my head and my little brother was there, grinning ear-to-ear in his favorite orange jumpsuit.

"There you are. Did you have fun training?" I asked him, but he ignored the question.

"Guess _what_!"

Even Sasuke was smirking. Sakura, however only had a small smile tacked to her face. She was mulling something over.

"What's up?"

"Did you guys get nominated for the chunin exams?" Utau guessed before Naruto could answer me. Adorable twelve-year-old Sasuke shot her a glare worthy of his father's respect. Itachi may look like his father, but Sasuke acts like him.

"Thanks for _ruining_ it!" he hissed at her. She shot him an evil big-sister look, which she quickly replaced with an innocent tone and expression before saying, "You sure you want to catch that kind of attitude, Sasu-chan?" and batting her eyelashes. The threat was palpable despite her angelic countenance. Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but Sakura smacked her hand over his mouth.

"Keep it shut," she warned.

Sasuke's coal eyes narrowed. Then, I could see his smirk beneath her hand and suddenly Sakura shuddered. Her spine straightened to its limit and she shrieked.

"Gross!" She wiped her hand on his shirt sleeve. He had licked it to get it off of him. Even I shuddered a little.

"Jerk!" She smacked the shoulder she was finished wiping her hand on right as Naruto laughed.

"Congratulations." I beamed at them, but inside I was feeling dread. It's time for the next big event…

Although, who the hell knows what is going to happen this time around? The Uchiha are still here. Sasuke is different, and so are Sakura and Naruto.

Would Orochimaru really dare to attack this time?

And if he does… is there anything I can do to stop it? How am I going to get myself involved with the chunin exams?

Naruto grinned and threw up a peace sign.

"We're gonna pass it! Right Sakura-chan, Sasuke?"

"It's pass or die," Sasuke declared coolly, crossing his arms.

"Hopefully," Sakura murmured. It deflated both of the boys.

"What do you mean?" Naruto's blue eyes were filled with concern. He even stepped a little closer to the rosette. She shrugged.

"There are a lot of unknown variables and there are a lot of things we don't yet know. It's illogical to think that we're actually the strongest team that's going to be taking this exam."

Sound argument. Sasuke wasn't having it. He rolled his eyes.

"Are you a ninja or a mathematician?"

Her jade eyes narrowed so quickly they almost spat fire at him.

"I think I proved what I am to you at training today, or did you already forget that bruise on your chin?"

He blushed and his fingers twitched. He was resisting the urge to touch his face. Of course, the trio had come to us scuffed up, but this was the first time I really looked at the dirt stain on his chin.

Ladies and gentlemen…Sakura, pink-haired, formerly-useless _Sakura_ managed to land a hit on _the_ Sasuke. Where do I write this down? I'm so proud of my meddling, really I am. I could die peacefully now.

"It was a lucky shot," Sasuke mumbled venomously.

"It was a _great_ shot," Naruto happily countered and slung an arm over Sakura's shoulders with a thumbs up. He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke and winked. Sakura chuckled as Sasuke waved the blonde off.

"Yeah, yeah. You'll never do it again."

" _Anyway_ , we should celebrate your nominations tonight!" I interrupted the next argument before it could start.

"Oh yeah, that's what we're here about! _Duh_!" Naruto punched his palm, as if just remembering.

"I was thinking we could all celebrate at the house later this week," Sasuke mused, "I think dad might even stick around for it."

"Did you run it by Mikoto-sama yet?" I asked.

"More importantly, do I get to sing?" Utau grinned at him.

Sasuke shot her a small smile. "I don't think it would be the same if you didn't."

" _Alright!_ " Utau cheered, her mood lifted. She _loved_ showing her voice off any chance she got.

"Just one song though! _One_ ," the mini-Uchiha warned. Utau rolled her eyes.

"Duh. I'll sing your favorite," she promised with a wink to which Sasuke almost gagged.

"Come with us, Yuzu-nee. I'm sure Mikoto-sama wants to start planning already," Naruto urged, reaching over the railing separating the café and the street and tugging on my sleeve. I placed my hand on his and squeezed.

"Alright. Sounds good." I turned to my friends after I stood, and then bowed.

"If you guys will excuse me."

I unsealed some cash and left it on the table.

"Let me know when the party is when you're done!" Utau called after me as I left.

"See ya later!" I already knew Shima was waving so I shot her a wave behind my back.

" _So_ whose the best at njnjutsu?" I decided to start a little war between my favorites. I _love_ this argument.

"Me!" Both Sasuke and Naruto called out simultaneously. I felt their glares connect as I trudged through the emptying market between them. It was getting close to sundown and the day-time vendors on the street were milling about their stands, rearranging things as customers debated on what to buy.

I heard Sakura sigh and I laughed.

"Alright, alright. Here's a better question. Whose better at genjutsu?"

"Me!" Sasuke and Sakura shouted at the same time.

" _Impossible_ ," Sasuke stressed, "You don't stand a chance against the sharingan."

"I bet I do."

"I bet you don't."

"You're full of yourself, Sasuke."

"Right, and you're full of _it_. Breaking genjutsu faster than Naruto doesn't make you a pro."

"If by _it_ you mean intelligence greater than yours, then you're right," she sniped.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and Naruto and I laughed.

"That was good, Sakura-chan." They high-fived and the rest of the walk was spent amiably discussing the battle tactics I've seen different countries display throughout my time on the field.

When we got to the house, Mikoto greeted us, grinning. Shisui was already in the kitchen, scuffed up and shoveling fish and sticky white rice into his mouth, and Fugaku-sama was across from him at the bar countertop, reading a large newspaper as if he wasn't in civilian affairs every day and had no idea what was up.

"You're late," he informed me as he folded the paper and tipped his head towards the shogi board waiting for us at the dining table. Mikoto smacked his arm and tutted as she slid into the bar stool next to him where her tea cup was steaming.

" _Fugaku,_ she just came home!"

He smirked to himself, but it was really at her. She shot him a tiny smile back.

"Sakura-chan! Please have a seat. Sasuke, Naruto-kun, could you please put food on the table for the girls?"

Sasuke _glared_ at Sakura while Naruto saluted Mikoto.

"Aye-aye captain!"

"Uh, uhm, I really don't want to impose…" For once, I saw Sakura back down to Sasuke. It surprised the youngest Uchiha in the room. He stopped dead in his tracks. They made eye contact and silent conversation, the kind that usually happened between Itachi and I.

"Nonsense. You three have been training. You're all hungry." Surprisingly, it was Fugaku that insisted she sit by waving a hand at the empty bar stool next to Shisui's. The older Uchiha grinned and rudely pointed at the seat with his chopsticks. The glare Mikoto sent him for that was as chilling as it would be if she had activated her sharingan. He shuddered, a silent apology.

"Uh, y-yes. Of course. Thank you." Sakura bowed deeply and Fugaku nodded. The rosette took the seat next to Shisui and I took the seat next to her. Sasuke and Naruto came by with plates of food, making two trips each. The salmon on the pristine white plate beneath my nose made my mouth water. I picked up the smooth, metal sticks next to the plate and then placed my hands together as Naruto and Sasuke took their seats on Shisui's other side.

"Itadakimasu!" Naruto cheered and then dug in.

"You guys ate already?" I asked Fugaku and Mikoto. Mikoto beamed as if the sun was shining within her.

"Actually, I have an announcement," she revealed, placing her hands around her steaming teacup.

Literally _everything_ stopped. Sakura paused mid-chew, Sasuke lifted his tea cup no further, Shisui and Naruto held off on swallowing the heaps of food in their mouths and I paused my sticks right above the delicious, steaming salmon. I'm pretty sure the universe chose a distant solar system somewhere and forced it to freeze too.

She was blushing. In fact… she was _glowing_. Oh…my… god…

"I'm pregnant!"

The silence was so thick it felt like the consistency of sponge cake. Naruto and Shisui were the first to break it.

" _Eeeeeeh_!?" Naruto flew into a choking fit, and Sasuke started pounding on his back to help him. Shisui blinked owlishly at Mikoto.

"Really!?" His shock slowly melted into exuberance and his existence could have competed with an LED light with how much he was beaming.

Mikoto smiled and nodded just as Naruto recovered.

"So Sasuke's going to be a big brother?" Naruto asked with enthusiasm.

"Mhm!"

"I'm gonna teach him how to throw kunai!" Naruto fist-pumped.

"Tch, get real. You suck at that; _I'm_ going to teach him how to throw kunai."

Shisui laughed out loud.

"I'm going to make sure he can outrun _both_ of you by the time he's two!"

"How are you all so sure it's a boy?" I countered finally recovering. But still… holy shit Mikoto's freaking _pregnant!_

"Yeah, what if it's a girl?" Sakura agreed with me. Naruto blinked.

"No way, Sakura-chan! He's a boy. We're getting a brother, right, Sasuke?" Naruto threw his arm around Sasuke's shoulders and nodded as if the universe would grant Mikoto another boy just because he said so. Shisui burst into laughter _at_ the two of them.

"You know what, now that you're so sure it's a boy, I'm going to bet it's a girl," he declared and happily returned to eating his rice.

"It's _definitely_ a girl," Sakura murmured shyly. Poor girl. Naruto begged her to tag along. She was _not_ expecting this and she probably felt like she was intruding. She didn't spend nearly as much time at the Uchiha house than the rest of us did.

"I think I agree," Mikoto smiled at her across the table, quelling so much of her anxiety in that small acknowledgment.

"Congratulations!" I finally said.

"Thank you, Yuzu-chan!" Mikoto beamed back at me.

"We have our own good news to convey, right Naruto?" I switched the topic and looked over to Naruto.

"Mn! We're going to be in the chunin exams this year!"

Fugaku's expression morphed from content to confused.

"Have they informed the genin already? It's almost a year away," he commented.

Naruto shrugged.

"I think the idea is to give us enough time to train. We're the first team to find out, according to Kakashi," Sasuke explained.

"We're the first to agree, too!" Naruto grinned and then shoved a chunk of rice into his mouth.

"Well, I expect success from you three. Sasuke, report to the training field tomorrow promptly at seven," he instructed and then turned to me to apologize. "Sorry, Yuzuha. I think you'll understand why I must cancel our morning games from here on out."

I nodded with a smile.

"If that's the case, then Naruto," I pinned a determined look on my brother, satisfied with his responding smirk, "You better not be late to training field three tomorrow. Sakura, you too!"

The rosette's jade eyes widened so far she looked like an owl and then pointed to her face. "Me too?"

"Of course. You don't think I'd just ignore you, right? I might just ask Utau to help out too."

"Thank you!" She clapped her hands together and bowed her head, overjoyed.

"Aw, I wanted to help train Naruto." Shisui pressed his index fingers together and pouted.

"Don't fret, you're due for a mission anyway."

The voice was unmistakable: Itachi. I turned my head and part of my torso, as he had appeared just behind us. Already barefoot with a warm smile on his face, still in his anbu uniform.

How long has it been since I last saw him? God he's beautiful. His face narrowed out to slightly mimic Mikoto's. Without the baggage and lines under his eyes that he had in canon he looks less like Fugaku. Jesus, he changed.

"Itachi!"

He put a hand up and smiled wider. "It's been a long time, Yuzuha."

"I have a mission?" Shisui interjected, confused.

Itachi nodded.

"You should finish that soon. It seemed imperative."

Shisui gave him a sad grin and shrugged.

"You finish it."

I took a breath to scold him, but at the same time a grain of rice got caught in my throat and he disappeared before I could grab the sleeve of his shirt over Sakura's pink-haired head. I started to cough and the girl smacked my back with so much force that I didn't even need to choke twice.

I _have_ to teach her to hone that strength. Even without her chakra fists her strength shows so much potential. She's not going to stand around screaming Sasuke's name this time. It isn't happening. Failure is _not_ an option.

"Thanks," I croaked out and took a sip of tea. Itachi took Shisui's spot and smiled at his mother.

"You told them?"

Mikoto happily nodded in response. Itachi nodded and started to finish what was left of Shisui's food. From there on it was all amiable conversation about different techniques and what team seven wanted to learn before the exams and plans for a small celebration over the weekend. When dinner was done, Itachi and I headed for the deck to hang our feet off the edge and watch the koi fish swim in the small pond beyond.

"What will you do about your missions?" His voice was soft, although I doubt anyone would hear us over the laughter in the room behind us. Everyone was playing a board game.

I shrugged and smiled.

"I'll ask for a temporary leave. Jii-sama will understand."

"I'm surprised you're taking two pupils on at once. It's ambitious of you."

"I won't be by myself."

"Mn."

"What about you?"

He blinked and looked at me, tearing his gaze away from the fish in the pond.

"What about me?"

"How are your missions going?" I was trying to be diplomatic. I was still pissed that he got promoted to anbu and I didn't.

"They're as fine as they can be, I suppose. I work with Shisui sometimes."

I looked down and glared at my lap. With our height difference, he probably won't notice.

"Do you resent me?" His tone was soft and hit that tiny place in my heart that was weak to such things. Guilt blossomed like a virus and I wanted to tear my own eyes out for the way I was feeling, but I couldn't help it.

"No. I resent not being at your level," I corrected him after a moment. It was true, probably one of the truest things I have said throughout this life. I'm just pissed I'm not up there with him. It isn't his fault that he's boss as fuck. He chuckled.

"You _are_ at my level. You just don't have the uniform," he soothed, but for me it wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough.

"I just don't get it. He never even gave me a reason…"

"It may be because…" He looked down at my stomach and I subconsciously slapped a hand over where I knew the seal was.

I bit my lip. "You're probably right," I frowned dismally, "He wouldn't want me loose on high-stakes missions." It was a solid reason.

"The council," he whispered, as if the trees could hear him. "You're a valuable target and they don't want intimate knowledge being leaked in the event that something goes horribly wrong." He looked me dead in the eyes, expression serious. "It's them, not him."

That's true. Imagine if I knew anbu secrets. Imagine if one of the many that are after the kyuubi happen to find them out in the event that I get captured and tortured or mind-fucked or something? Konoha's defenses would be compromised.

With the threat of Akatsuki around, it would be bad news if I was out on a mission and confronted by one of them. Granted, no one knew what the Akatsuki were after yet, but still. The fact that rumors had spread about them and the fact that no one knew how they operated other than in groups of two, was unnerving to the higher ups. Jiraiya and I couldn't find out shit about them and we had been on a six-month scouting trip, scouring the nations for information. But _still_. I'd be in an _elite_ group. My baby sitters of the past would finally be my teammates! They'd be my captains!

I should go bitch some more at them… though it probably won't get me shit. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"I'm not even going to whine to you. There's no point."

"I'll listen anyway," he smiled at me from the side and I laughed. As expected of him.

"It's not fair," I grumped. "That's all I'm going to say. I'm pretty sure I've been a huge pain to Jii-chan since he broke the news to me. To be honest, I think I complain after each mission, actually." I grimaced and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm an awful granddaughter, huh?" I wasn't serious about that. I'm awesome.

"You're understandably upset, but I wouldn't go that far."

I shrugged.

Comfortable silence befell us and one koi fish surprised me by jumping up out of the water and then back into it.

"Are you going to help train Sasuke anytime soon? He needs it, you know." I gave him a look and he chuckled.

"I hope you know that I do, in fact, try to have free time for him. It's just impossible sometimes. I suggest you get Kakashi-senpai to help him during the times that father cannot."

"Good idea."

"Any leads on that creep that was controlling the mizukage?"

Itachi shook his head. "He's disappeared. There hasn't been a whisper about him anywhere. Have you heard anything about Orochimaru?"

I shook my head.

"Nothing. Have you heard anything about those Akatsuki guys on your end?"

"Whispers, but nothing concrete. They're illusive and I have yet to run into them. I suppose that you have not either?"

I shook my head.

"Jiraiya-sensei is irritated. Could you believe that he actually blamed _me_ at the bar for not getting information out of the people there! 'No one's giving any information up because you're here. Go wait outside.'" I deepened my voice and spread out my hair with my fingers to imitate him. Itachi chuckled.

"Perhaps he was right. You were probably a distraction."

"Well yeah, after that I started to henge into dirty, old, drunk guys. Worked like a charm. Some of the things they talked about…" I shuddered and pretended to gag.

He laughed again. "I can imagine." He looked at the pond, the smile never leaving his lips. "You've grown stronger," he turned to me, "we have to spar soon."

I grinned at him. "Why thank you, sir. I appreciate the complement." I tossed imaginary locks of hair behind my shoulder. "I can't fall behind you, you know." I winked up at him and he smiled back.

"Oi! Are you guys done flirting! We're starting a new game!" Naruto called out to us and I turned and shot him a glare that almost turned his blood to ice.

Itachi laughed and got up.

"If you want to lose so badly, Naruto-kun, I'll be happy to oblige," he challenged.

"You're in trouble now, loser," Sasuke threatened, smirking at him like a hyena.

"As if! I'll take you _all_ on! Right, Yuzu-nee?"

Laughing, I got up, skipped over and then plopped next to my little bro on the tatami mat, placing an arm around his shoulders.

"Let me teach you how to win. Roll the dice!" I pointed at Itachi, commanding him in an overexaggerated manner. He shut his eyes and bowed regally in his seated position, making fun of my dominance in his own way. If Shisui was here he'd probably say something like, "Yes, princess. Your wish is my command." I held back a snort, and then wondered where the hell he was sent this time…

* * *

I'm so happy to see that you guys are enjoying this! There's another timeskip coming up in the next chapter and after that the shit hits the fan and things get fun again!

Hit me with those reviews! I dare ya! I got my shield right here!

See ya later, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, blah…and blah.


	21. Let the Exams Begin!

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!:

Some years have passed since the chunin exams from hell. Yuzuha's friend group ranges from 17-19 in age and Naruto's class is 12-13. Team 7 has been notified of a chunin exam almost a year in advance and Mikoto announced that she'd pregnant. Yuzuha is pissed that she was barred from going into anbu with Itachi and refused to take on a genin team. The police force welcomed all shinobi into their ranks and began to allow civillians to join the force. Shisui just barely avoided being drafted into root and revealed his mangekyo to Hiruzen, and as a result has been slated to work on high-stakes missions only. Unfortunately, his years of service seem to finally be taking a toll on his mentality. Yuzuha decided to draft Utau to help her train both Naruto and Sakura while Fugaku reserved his mornings to train Sasuke. Now, it's time to train!

* * *

"Keep your fists up at all times!" I hissed at Sakura. "And keep your eyes open!" I threw punch after punch and kick after kick and so far she was doing a decent job of keeping up, but she wasn't used to this kind of harshness. Kakashi wasn't pushing them hard enough.

"And _you_!" I wheel-kicked Sakura and sent her skidding across the grass and kicking up dirt while simultaneously turning my head to Naruto, who was busy fending off Utau with not much more success than Sakura was having with me. He stiffened up at my tone, but still ducked under one of Utau's killer punches. "How are your feet so flat! What did I say about flat feet while dodging! Stop dragging your feet across the ground!"

"Raaaaaaah!"

I skipped to the side, avoiding the wild downwards kick Sakura sent flying at the top of my head, adding more force to it by sommersaulting right before. I stepped to the side and shoved her away by batting her ankle aside as it flew past my face and she spun ninety degrees in mid-air before landing and turning to face me so immediately that she barely disturbed the grass. I had taught her a while ago to _never_ turn your back on a powerful opponent. Ever.

"Keep your head cool, Sakura! Rage never helps on the battlefield!"

"Jeez, nee-san! Nothing I do is right!" She finally stomped her foot, the first show of childish frustration I had ever seen from her. She crossed her arms as she straightened her back and my face melted into a smile. Frustration was a good sign. It showed that she cared, that she was serious and that she wasn't taking this lightly. That, coupled with Naruto's optimism was a good combination. Add Sasuke's brains and penchant for tactical success and they'll be unstoppable.

"But you're way better than when we first started. Remember how many times you were knocked on your butt on day one? That doesn't happen any more."

"Yeah, until you increase the difficulty again," she muttered, glaring off to the side.

"Do your best, Sakura-cha—whoah~aaah!" Naruto tried to cheer her on as Utau nearly stabbed him in the chest with her chakra-coated nails of manicured death. He just barely dodged by side-stepping her and nearly lost his balance. "We'll be so much stronger! Just _never_ give up!" He huffed and rolled and spun and ducked. It was amazing how he could cheer and fight at the same time, well, keep himself from losing a fight, at least. Sakura shot him a warm smile and dropped her arms.

"I won't lose this time!" she boldly declared, and replaced her smile with a look of pure determination. She was scuffed up, covered in dirt and bruised, but thanks to Naruto's unwavering support she was ready to push herself to her limits.

"Good, 'cause it's almost time to switch partners," I informed with a proud smirk.

"And when we do we're going to try something brand new and see how you guys do!" Utau added excitedly. We weren't planning on using them today, but I had spoken to her about utilizing clones in training, the same way that Shisui did with me. She was enamored with the idea, and then dropped some juvenile comment about how we must have had extra mouths to flirt with at the time. Stupid. Why are we friends again?

"Ooh! What's tha~aaah! Uta-nee! You're gonna kill me-ttebayo! For real!"

He back-flipped to avoid another vicious swipe at his face. Poor baby brother…

He'll live. He has to, 'cause worse things are waiting for him.

"Shannaro!" Sakura charged at me but tactfully ducked to the side last second, dropping on all fours and scissor-sweeping her one leg to try to knock out my ankles. I jumped over the move, but she tried something new this time. She somewhat break-danced and twisted her body, bringing her other leg out on the same path as the first, right as I landed. I couldn't avoid the move, and let it knock my feet out from under me. I arched my torso sideways and used my hand to catch the ground and cartwheel off to the side, going with the flow of the fight instead of trying to control it. I had learned that from Itachi.

How many times did I try to recover from him throwing me on my ass? A lot. I realized it was just better at some point to utilize his technique and just fall if I'm going to fall and fight from the ground until I have a moment to get back up on my feet.

Sakura was too busy getting up from her awkward position to be able to follow up with any effective move. I was right side up and leaping at her with my knee out in seconds. She just barely blocked my knee with her shin, continued forward and threw a fist at my face. I dodged her and our dance began again. It wasn't long before I decided to be a dick and just barrage her with stuff to dodge. She was struggling, sweating and her eyes were fighting to keep track of not only my hands and feet, but also my knees and elbows.

I spun on my one foot and moved to hit her in the face with the back of my fist but she wisely ducked under it, avoiding a follow-up roundhouse right afterwards.

"Alright, time!" Utau called and snickered as both Sakura and Naruto collapsed on the spot, Sakura huffing and puffing more than Naruto.

"Water," Naruto begged, "I need water." He grasped at his parched throat with his hands.

"Water style: water vortex jutsu!"

Yes, I doused him in a water jutsu. He screamed when the cold water hit his skin and Sakura started laughing and wheezing along with myself and Utau.

"That was cruel, Yuzu-nee!" He wailed in a Shisui-esque manner with tears in his eyes.

"Hey," I shrugged, "you said you needed water. I just delivered."

"That's not what I meant-ttebayo!" He waved his arms around in irritation.

I sat down with a chuckle, unsealing four canteens from a scroll in my weapons pouch. Sakura dragged herself a few feet across the grass to place herself next to me and Utau skipped over to sit next to her. Naruto squeezed all the sweat and water in his t-shirt onto my head for revenge before falling at my side. It wasn't decent revenge because the water was a relief. It's mid-July and despite Konoha being situated in a cool forest, it was boiling outside. Like, the air above the pavement on the road to the Uchiha district was distorted from the heat. We were all in varying colors of shorts and t-shirts and Naruto peeled his white shirt off, tossing it against a rock nearby.

"It's too hot," he whined and shut his eyes.

"Get used to it. It's too hot in a lot of locations you might be fighting in," Utau lectured and then took a long sip of her canteen.

"I feel like I haven't gotten any better too."

"Go fight Sasuke. Trust me, you improved," I reassured and Sakura smashed her fist into the grass as Naruto sat down next to us.

She deposited her canteen on the ground, a fire in her eyes. "C'mon, Naruto! We can't lose to that jerk!" She shot to her feet, fists balled and looked at Utau. "I'm ready, Uta-nee!" Her entire face burned with determination. Utau smirked up at her.

I just thought it was plain cute how even now, in the world I altered, they were still using Sasuke as their fuel to do better.

"That's what I like to hear. Alright! We're going to focus on dodging. Medics are the first ninjas that get targeted in battle by the enemy because killing your enemy's healers is the fastest way to cripple their army. That's why medics should be the best at evasive maneuvers. Naruto, since you look halfway dead already, you're going to be the 'injured shinobi' in this scenario. Sakura, your task is to hold your hands over him for as long as you can before I attack. Keep trying to 'heal' him while I come at you."

Sakura's fierce expression crumpled into one of pain and intimidation.

Utau raised her brow. "I thought you wanted to be better than Sasu-chan," she batted her eyelashed innocently, "have you changed your mind?"

Sakura grimaced but still walked several meters away from us into the clearing. Utau followed her, grinning. From the moment my best girlfriend became a medic I knew she'd one day take on Sakura as an apprentice. Naruto grumbled under his breath as he dragged his feet after them. I sensed a familiar chakra and trudged over to the tree line nearby to find Jiraiya sitting on a branch.

"Yo," he greeted enthusiastically, a notebook and pen in hand.

"Working on your pervy stuff as usual, I see. You _better_ not be checking out Utau, you creep," I warned, but I did it with a joking smile.

He chuckled. "I'd rather not have a lawsuit on my hands, trust me," he reassured soberly.

"What's up, sensei?" I jumped up into the tree, onto a branch just below his, and leaned against the trunk. He sealed his notebook and pen and rose to his feet, steadying himself against the trunk using his palm. I crossed my arms and ankles because, y'know, I'm just oh-so-fucking cool like that.

"I was wondering if you wanted to take a break and accompany me on the outside again. The old man found some leads."

What do I say? I shook my head.

"You'll have to go without me. Naruto and Sakura need me."

He shot me a proud smile. "Look at how good of a teacher you've become. Maybe you should have taken on a genin team like he suggested."

I glared at him. "I'm not going to be responsible for some brats. It's anbu or nothing. I took on Naruto and Sakura because," I paused, trying to put it into words, "well, because I have a bad feeling. After what happened at my exam, I just want team seven to be prepared."

He closed his eyes and nodded. "This time it'll be in Konoha. It should be much safer."

"I don't care," I shook my head again, "I want him, _them_ to excel. To be honest, if it weren't for your harsh training and all the time I spent with jii-chan, I don't think I could have made it back then. It's a really scary realization to come to, y'know."

He laughed. "You would have made it. You're Konoha's most creative kunoichi, remember?"

I doubt it, but I have made a name for myself over the years, randomly transforming jutsu I already knew out of my ass like that chakra-chain shield I conjured up on the spot. Sometimes you have to work on the fly, especially when you're about to be blown to bits.

"Eh, I'm alive thanks to Itachi and the rest of our class."

He turned his gaze towards the sound of Utau yelling at Sakura. She was throwing blunt, training kunai at the rosette. Sakura was doing a pretty good job and Naruto was cheering her on.

"C'mon Sakura-chan! You're doing awesome!"

"You're supposed to be injured! Act like it, will you? I'm losing focus!"

It was true, Utau almost nailed her right in the forehead with a vicious kunai. Naruto didn't talk after that.

"He shows promise, that one."

"He does. Hey, can you do something for me?"

"Well, since you caught me on a good day, what do you need?"

"A few months from now, before the chunin exam, do you think you could take Naruto with you? I can teach him, but, well, y'know, I'm nowhere near as good of a teacher as you, sensei." I gave him a wide grin and figured I'd stroke his ego a little. He crossed his arms and pinned me with a narrow-eyed look of suspicion.

"You're playing your cards right today. Are you _trying_ to flatter me into saying yes?"

I laughed out loud.

"Partially. But it's the truth-ttebane! I think he'd do really well under your wing, honest!"

Jiraiya looked at Naruto, lazily chillin' on the grass, looking at the clouds while Sakura was sweating bullets and practically dodging bullets too. Utau's kunai are no joke, man.

"Well, it's not like he's annoying. Why not? It'll be nice to have a man to travel with, anyway."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!" I rounded on him, pushing off the tree branch with clenched fists.

He held his hands up. "Guys don't have periods. I'm just saying."

I turned red. "It's not like I let it get in the _way_ -ttebane!"

He raised a white brow and dropped his hands.

"Okay, so we had to stop for supplies every so often! Big deal! You're one to talk anyway! You used that time to peep on ladies bathing, _every time_!" I pointed an accusing finger at him.

"That was valuable research, young lady!" he wagged his finger at me and chastised.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, 'valuable research' but for what? Your book, or _something else_!?"

I made sure to glance downwards, at his belt buckle. He got what I meant.

"You know what, I take my complement back. You're Konoha's most _annoying_ student."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he stuck his out at me in petty response. We laughed literally a second later.

"Alright. When I get back I'll take him. We'll be back in time for the exam."

I gave him a genuinely grateful smile.

"You should get some rest. You look tired," he suggested, but it was in a tone that said he knew that I was putting myself under pressure. After all our traveling together, he quickly realized how conscientious I really am. I did my best, and I was probably doing okay, but even so, I have a feeling that it's just not good enough and that my end goal will be harder to achieve than I thought. I placed a palm on the seal etched into my thigh. It was a diamond of tomoe, like the ones on the sharingan, made up of several small diamonds tomoe, woven together with one continuous winding thread that looped infinitely through and around the entire symbol.

Jiraiya didn't miss the action.

"Why do you obsess over that seal? If you want to store chakra effectively, I know of a technique you can look into. You wouldn't even have to run around with that seal on your leg letting the whole universe know that you're a shinobi," he explained, pointing a finger at the seal.

I smirked at him. "I like this one better. It looks cool, kind of like a tattoo." But in reality, it was to keep him from looking too deeply into it. If he knew what it was for, and if he knew exactly what the _other_ sealing jutsu I'm working on is, he'd know too much and start to ask questions, and questions aren't good, not when you know more about certain things than you realistically should.

He gave me a sidelong glance, as if he didn't approve. "A tattoo, huh?"

"This seal is important to me. It's an extra chakra bank," I replied, "You know that."

He shook his head. "You're overly cautious, but I don't blame you. The extra chakra bank that you already have is a hateful menace."

"Hey! Don't insult my kyuubi-chan!" I placed my hand on my stomach, "he's sensitive, y'know!"

Jiraiya snorted into a laugh, then ruffled my sweat-soaked hair without a care in the world.

"Alright, I'll be off then. I'll be back in a few months."

"Take care of yourself."

He gave me a short wave and took off towards the direction the main village gate was in.

"Aaaah! Sakura-chan!"

I looked and Naruto was wide-eyed and horrified, lying tensed up just a centimeter away from a kunai embedded into the grass next to his face.

"Sorry!" The rosette apologized, and Utau held up her hand. Sakura hunched over and placed her hands on her knees, breathing heavily. Naruto flipped onto his feet and went over to place a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"You did good to keep me at bay for that long but in reality if Naruto really was injured, he'd have either bled to death by now or that kunai would have impaled him for sure. There is no way an injured shinobi could dodge like that, not a seriously injured one, anyway." Utau placed her hands on her hips. "Next time you're faced with an enemy with that much of a skill gap, try for a diversion, and then take the injured and run like hell to a safer location."

"Understood."

"Now, with that said, I think we can call it quits today, right, Yuzu?" I jumped down from the tree and walked up to them, nodding.

"Al _right_! Sakura-chan! Let's go get ice cream! I'm _starving_!" Naruto insisted, lacing the fingers of his hands together in a pleading pose. He was _beyond_ excited.

Sakura smiled brightly. "Hey, that's not a bad idea."

"We should get some for Sasuke, too," Naruto theorized, though by the expression on his face I could tell he had probably never even seen Sasuke eat ice cream in all the years they've been friends.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, if they have a bitter flavor. He hates sweets, remember?"

"I think he might like pomegranate," Naruto put his hand on his chin, "or grapefruit! Those things are gross, bleh."

"Whatever, let's go."

They both bowed to us.

"Thank you for everything!"

* * *

Just as expected, a few months later, my cute, orange-jumpsuit-wearing little brother was whisked away for training with Jiraiya. There was a summer storm the day he left, but I hugged him out in the rain anyway.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" I murmured into the hood of his rain cloak as I squeezed him tightly, the rain pelting my scalp and the warm wind whipping the exposed parts of my legs. "And watch out for that pervert! He's probably going to waste a lot of your time doing his 'research'. Don't you ever let him get away with that!"

"Re…search?" Naruto squeezed me tightly and then pulled away, cocking his head to the side.

"You'll understand eventually."

He shrugged. "I'm going to get you something in every town we stop at! I've already decided!"

Should I tell him? Fuck it, why not.

"Souvenirs, huh?"

Naruto nodded eagerly. "Mn!"

I smiled at him and bent down to whisper into his ear. "Don't tell anyone, but your nee-chan has a deep, dark secret." I waited a second for that to sink in. "…I like key chains. They're my favorite kind of souvenir."

I pulled away and winked at his wide-eyed expression. A second later he was grinning ear-to-ear, a small star that could have lit up the grayness of the sky if he really tried.

He dove into my arms one last time. "I'll see you soon!" He waved and ran to the gates where Sasuke, Sakura, Jiraiya and Kakashi were waiting, watching us.

"Train hard!" I yelled after him. If he heard me, he didn't show it. Shit, he wouldn't have acknowledged it anyway, because Sakura started talking to him, a concerned expression on her face. He gave her a reassuring smile and a thumbs-up. He and Sasuke fist-bumped and locked elbows—their own little handshake thing— and Kakashi ruffled his hair. I watched them disappear into the rain, under Jiraiya's huge, red umbrella.

I approached the rest of team seven, and said my goodbyes to them, too. Kakashi was taking Sasuke and Sakura on a survival trip into the woods that dominated most of the Land of Fire. When they got to their location, they'd seal away all their supplies and survive with only a knife, the clothes on their back and their skill sets. I had a feeling Kakashi was going to ditch them somewhere along the way as well, which would be a social fucking nightmare for both of them. They'd irritate the very trees with their bickering, but it would be the ultimate preparation for the chunin exam because you're basically SOL in the forest of death if you're unprepared.

"Be hard on them," I encouraged the copy ninja with a smirk.

He shot me a smile and saluted me. "Understood, taicho."

I grinned because I am _so_ not the taicho between the two of us. "Yeah, if only," I sniffed, still salty.

He knew exactly what I was talking about. I nearly exploded when I was told I wasn't going to get into anbu, I think every single spec ops ninja heard about it. Shisui once told me that I was better off not getting involved in that sort of thing anyway, but I was a baby and figuratively stomped my feet anyway. The only thing that lifted my mood when we had that conversation was the sushi he forced me to let him treat me to.

Kakashi shook his head. "My, oh my. You never change, do you?"

"Well, if I did would I still be the center of your world?" I joked, clasped my wet hands to my soaked shirt and batted my eyelashes up at him. At first, when Naruto introduced me to Kakashi I freaked out. Like internally, I died because, duh, it's _the_ Kakashi. Like, in the flesh. But after a few Ichiraku meals, I fell into an easy sort of banter with him. It was actually enjoyable instead of intimidating and he was a likable person despite the anxiety and depression I could sense just waiting to eat away at his mind when he was vulnerable.

"I wouldn't say you were that important to begin-with."

"Senpai!" I wailed with over-exaggerated teary eyes, "You wound me!" I placed the back of my hand to my forehead and leaned back as far as I could to simulate fainting as best as possible. "I think I might cry!"

"Well, it's as they say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I smiled at that because it was true.

I gave Sasuke and Sakura hugs before they left. Call me a sap, I don't care. They became family over the years.

I watched their rain cloaks disappear down the road. I teleported to the lonely apartment for a hot shower, some hot tea and a little bit of R&R before shit gets crazy again.

* * *

Unfortunately, jii-chan didn't allow me to proctor or participate or anything for the exam. I think it was punishment for not taking on a genin team. He mentioned that if I had, I could have been there. I reminded him that children of any kind other than team seven weren't my thing. Then I made him feel bad. I hit him right in the sympathy when I said, "I'd rather not watch another comrade die so young."

Maybe it was harsh, but it was true to and extent. Not only do I not like kids, I _really_ don't like causing them suffering. I'm not a complete monster, after all. Logically speaking, we were all kids at one point. It sucks and you can't really blame them for being annoying, but at the end of the day, they're still annoying and I don't have time for that shit.

There was a flash of guilt in his calculating eyes. I had left after that because I felt guilty too.

Anyway, you can bet your sweet ass that I damn near chewed my bottom lip off when that test started. I was inconsolable and what made it worse was the fact that I was worrying Itachi with my fretting. We were having tea at his kitchen table and I spaced out again, worrying about my brother and his team, wondering if I should beg Itachi, on my knees if I had to, to infiltrate the place and watch them from afar.

But of course, that would be _too_ suspicious.

Mikoto's chuckle snapped me out of my thought process.

"You're going to be such a wonderful mother one day."

Not this again.

"I'm worried about Naruto," I dodged what she said like it was an art form. At this point, I had become a pro at it.

Ever since she got pregnant, I think her hormones went crazy. She made it clear that she wanted me to have Itachi's babies, in a very subtle way, but thank the heavens I always dodged the subject most of the time without directly or indirectly agreeing. The last thing I want to think about is growing an alien being in my uterus. Bleh, no thanks. I have enough worries and I'd rather scoop my eyeballs out with a spoon.

"Would you like to spar?"

I looked at Itachi, debating. He shot me an encouraging smile and I shrugged. "Sure."

"Be safe," Mikoto wished us, but it wasn't necessary. Shisui and I were the pair that got competitive. He was the one that liked to push me to my limits and beyond, which usually pushed one or both of us into a series of injuries and medical visits, or a scolding from Mikoto. Although, in that case, it was usually Shisui that was treated like the stray cat that stole the fish. Mikoto _hated_ seeing me scuffed up. Anyway, sparring with Itachi was a whole different ballpark. Itachi was much more… I can't explain it… relaxing? He was powerful, don't get me wrong, but much less intense. Our spars were more like a shogi game than a no-holding-back brawl. We still challenged each other, but it didn't feel like a fight to the death for me.

We decided to take a leisurely walk to the Konoha training grounds. I saw him eyeing a cute outdoor café near the market street where civilians and off duty shinobi chilled to have cakes and specialty shakes and iced tea.

Not gonna lie, the chocolate cake called out to me too.

"Wanna stop for cake?" I turned my head and grinned up at him while pointing at the establishment.

He smiled and nodded. "Perhaps they serve dango."

And they did. I was shoveling bite after bite of a huge piece of chocolate truffle pie with strawberry fluff filling while Itachi started his assault on the three, doomed dango sticks in front of him.

I could see the satisfaction in his eyes and the small upwards tilt of his lips as he took the first bite.

"How long has it been since you've had dango?"

His cheeks colored red; he was unable to hide his ecstasy from me. I smirked smugly at him.

"It has been a while, come to think of it."

"I'm not surprised," I frowned, "they have you working like a dog."

And it was the truth. It's been weeks since I had a full conversation with him. I was starting to get as irritated as Sasuke at his absence.

"It's a necessary contribution to the village," he shrugged, "a necessary sacrifice."

I waved my hand.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't remind me that I'm not allowed to 'contribute.'" …Or make sure that you don't die or spy on Danzo, or do a myriad of other things outside this country that could alter the future of this world for the better.

It's been years and I'm still salty.

An amused smile made its way onto his lips, and he shook his head. "You're unique."

I frowned at him and he held one hand up in surrender, the other holding his stick of half-finished dango. "In a good way," he vowed with a serious expression. It sounded like a complement, so I smiled.

"Well, thanks. Sameness is boring; life's too short." I took a bite of my dessert, swallowed, and touched the corners of my lips with my napkin. "Thanks for helping me relax."

His smile reached his eyes. "We're not done yet." Then he took a moment to think. I could tell because I could see the gears turning in his mind on his face as he ate another little dango ball. When he swallowed, he looked serious, determined.

He opened his mouth but an anbu appeared beyond the cute, little fence separating the café from the street. It was obvious that he was here for us. Well, at least one of us. Some people stared in amazement, some people ignored him and some people snickered at the people who were amazed. Conversation continued around us nonetheless.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, Itachi." I figured the summons was for him, so I got up, but before I could pull my wallet out and put money on the table, the male anbu spoke.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha, Uchiha Itachi. Report to hokage-sama _promptly._ "

As in, " _get your ass there now._ "

"Rodger that," I replied.

"Understood."

The man disappeared and we stood up, leaving money on the table.

"Wait, just a second."

He looked at me, confused, then laughed as he saw me shoveling the rest of the cake down my throat. I'm not about to put good chocolate to waste, but even though I may have looked annoyed, I really wasn't. Wanna know a dark secret? I actually love being summoned out of the blue. Maybe it's masochistic, but it makes me feel like I could make a difference. There is immediate work to be done in this kind of situation and I _thrive_ under pressure.

Of course, I quietly crumble afterwards a little, and always internally, but that's okay. It's never for long. There's always something else that needs to be taken care of right around the corner. I really would have done better as an Uchiha, or at least in anbu, but _noooooo_ , life just doesn't work that way does it?

After I washed the chocolate pie down with the remainder of my iced tea, Itachi pointed to my mouth.

"You left a few things behind," he mentioned with a smile.

I wiped up fast and we were out of there in 1.325 seconds, no lie.

* * *

The office was quiet, as usual, and jii-chan was smoking: a sign that he was still mulling over whatever it is that is going to be discussed. He exhaled a familiar-smelling puff of smoke up into the air and laced his fingers at his desk.

His eyes landed on me. "I have a proposition for you," he began, and his tone was guarded, but I knew him by now and I knew that usually meant he was worried for me. I gave him an encouraging smile. "You once told me that you wanted to be a clan head like Inoichi-san, do you rememb—

"Whatever it is, yes," I excitedly interrupted with a grin, unable to help myself.

He sighed and chuckled. "I figured. There is a test, however and it isn't easy."

The test to get into the elite class of the academy wasn't easy. The test Mira-sensei gave our team upon initially meeting us wasn't easy. All the legit tests—the ones that really mattered— that have ever been given to me ever were never easy.

I will crush this one. Anything for just a little bit more power, for just a little bit more room to wiggle around with. I need every bit I can get if I want to worm my way into government and cap Danzo's ass as soon as I have the chance.

"I'll be prepared for it."

Just then, three quick, confident knocks reverberated throughout the room and the door opened without waiting for jii-chan's permission. I didn't need to turn around for my skin to crawl.

Diddlyshit-Danzo. Not only him, but that crusty, old couple that were always in nice clothes and hairpins.

I felt Itachi's surprise.

The trio came to stand at jiji's side and to be honest I didn't want them anywhere near him. He's _my_ grandpa and mentor. He shouldn't be put under pressure. Not by their petty shit, at least.

I felt a wave of protectiveness possess me. Try something in front of me, motherfuckers. I dare you.

I prayed that my inner thoughts weren't betrayed by my face. Every internal, mental defense I had woke from its slumber, ready to scheme, pick apart, scratch, bite, murder, whatever needed to be done to come out on top.

I had to tamper my inner psycho down a little. I felt like Eren every time something titan-related came up. Chill, Yuzuha. It's not that serious. Judgment day will come, you just have to be patient.

Patience, patience.

Itachi and I bowed low, and then straightened back up.

"The council and I, as well as a representative from the council of clans will determine whether you can hold and defend the title," Hiruzen continued and I tried not to look bewildered. The council of clans? Is that what they called themselves now? Interesting.

"You will also fight a representative from each of us," Danzo butted in _unnecessarily_. I kept a straight face as I nodded at him.

"Your test will be in three days. Please prepare for it," spoke the crusty old guy, what was his name again? H… "H" something. I know there's an H somewhere in his name. …Homura! That's right! Homura.

I bowed my understanding. He seemed nice enough. Maybe I can spare him some of my dislike.

"Very well, you're dismissed. Itachi, please remain."

I was beginning to wonder why he summoned Itachi, too. I guess my Uchiha friend has a mission. He and I made quick eye contact before I turned around to leave.

* * *

I cheered once I got to my tree in the woods. I punched the air in excitement, because I can finally make some sort of a difference. _Finally_! A real, true, _big_ difference!

After I got that out of my system, I figured I'd go get some ice cream or something. At the market, I found Itachi looking for me. His eyes brightened in recognition when he saw me and he held out his forearm. I bumped it with mine and he gave me a genuine smile.

"Congratulations," he told me, but I shook my head.

"I haven't passed anything yet."

He crossed his arms confidently. "You will, I believe that."

I blushed. The look in his eyes proved his utmost sincerity. "Thanks, I appreciate that, y'know."

He smiled again. "Walk with me."

Without question, I fell into step with him and wondered what jii-chan must've talked to him about as he took me to the Uchiha district. I smiled and nodded at some familiar faces and stared curiously at foreigners and their eccentric styles and jewelries. One woman was all tatted up to her neck! It reminded me of home and I grinned at her. She must have sensed me somehow because she lifted her head from the stall of scarves in front of her and turned to me. She smiled back and Itachi and I moved on in comfortable silence. He took us all the way to the park in the center of the district, decorated with a huge, steel flame representing Konoha's famed will of fire. Beyond that part, on a small beaten dirt path, covered by trees there was a tall set of stairs, traditional in style complete with red torii gates and everything.

Above was a small temple; the Naka shrine. Itachi pushed open the traditional door and we stepped in. There was a well-like structure, plus a bell with a red string. He led me past that, to the wall behind the well. My heart started to pound. Is this… is this what I think it is? Itachi, what are you _doing_? He felt around the edges of the dark panel of wall. Seconds later, maybe not even, a _click_ echoed in the space between us. He nudged the door open with his foot.

I thought the entrance to the underground thingy beneath the shrine was under some tatami matt or something? Is this some sort of alternate entrance?

"Um…Itachi, yeah, listen, I like cool secret passages and everything but that _really_ looks like I shouldn't be going in there."

Who the fuck knows what'll happen if we get caught in there? I felt around for chakra signatures and any other signs of life, paranoid. Other than birds and stuff, nothing. As far as we were concerned, we were in the clear, but _still_ , my shoulders tensed and wouldn't relax, not for shit.

He turned his head back, with a disarming smile, his hands shaping the tiger seal. "Do you trust me?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Why is that even a question?" Of course I trusted him. With my life. If we were where I came from, and I won the lottery, I would trust Itachi to collect that money and put it in my bank account. Seriously.

"Then follow me." He turned back to the darkened hallway, and then blew a controlled flame out of his mouth, lighting a sconce I didn't see beforehand. He started a chain reaction of some sort, and when I stepped closer to him, I noticed several scones lighting up successively, just on the right side of the wall. The staircase went down and looped around, ominous-looking. He stepped inside, and waited for me to cross the threshold. When I did, he shut the door behind us, and made his way down the steps, his gait familiar with the territory, but then again, Itachi _always_ looked familiar with the territory.

We reached the loop, and once we turned the corner, we descended another straight set of stairs, curved around again, and then continued down again. Eventually, the stairs leveled out to a smooth, flat floor. It was clean, and deep red in color, with a black tomoe every three or so large tiles apart. More sconces lit in the distance as we continued to walk down the hallway. I felt like I was trekking through a haunted house, and practically glued myself to Itachi's back. Any closer, and I might flat-tire his sandals. Eventually, we came to a fork in the hallway. I saw Itachi's eyes flash to the left, but he turned right instead. I looked back at the hallway we could have taken and imagined what could have lied beyond the corner at its end.

Maybe the stupid, cursed stone that started all this drama in the first place?

Who knows? We continued down the right corridor and made a left at the corner at its end. It was a dead end, marked with a damaged tile floor and a brown, dirt-covered stone wall, as if they had decided to just stop building or digging or whatever at that specific point. Itachi came to a stop in front of it. A pulse of chakra flashed to his eyes and he began weaving a string of signs together with his hands. He whispered something I couldn't hear under his breath, and suddenly, the wall blurred away, revealing a steel door, mounted into a steel wall. The whole thing looked super-secure, like, fort Knox secure.

Itachi slipped his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a skeleton key the length of my palm. I thought he'd be done by the time he placed the key in the obscure keyhole at the bottom right corner of the wall, but I was wrong. He continued to weave signs and when he was done, he slapped his hand against the steel door. He bent downwards, turned the key and finally, we heard the locks sliding out of place, and believe me, there were a lot of them. He pushed the door open with a metallic squeak and beyond it was a cavernous room, filled from top to bottom with weapons of all kinds on racks, tables and stands, some stacking as high as the ceiling. Painted onto the floor was a map of the world as it had been whenever it was drawn. It wasn't too far off from the modern-day territory maps. It was an armory and an on-the-fly war-room, if necessary.

My eyes were wide with childlike wonder and reverence. This is Madara's wet dream. The only thing that's missing is the first hokage.

"Itachi," I breathed, totally amazed. There were red and black tones to everything aside from the colored map on the floor. Elaborate black katana sheathes were decorated with elegant, red braided strings. Some kunai sets had red cloths tied to their hilts, the three sharingan tomoe emblazoned on them. It was beautiful and humbling. I had respect for it.

"Take whatever you need."

"But Itachi—!" I twisted to him, thankfully not making any scuff marks on the floor and looked at him with bare naked surprise. What is he saying? Is he crazy? Are we even allowed to be in here, let alone take things from this room? Is he breaking some ruleset or something? Am I going to get into trouble if I take this stuff?

He placed his right hand on my left shoulder. "Leave everything else to me," he assured with meaning in his expression. I looked up at his dark eyes and saw a familiar determination. There's no arguing with him when he looks at you like that. I hesitated for a moment, taking in every weapon I saw. I was only going to take a test like so many times before, but he took me here to basically prepare for a war. It hit me then, when I saw all the options available to me, that I literally could have anything I want. I blushed a little, not gonna lie.

I stepped into the room slowly and respectfully, like it was some sacred sort of space, like I should have prayed or bowed before entering, and moved towards the racks of kunai sets in neat, lacquered boxes.

"Let's stock up, I guess."

* * *

"I'm telling you, if we go in a straight line there's no way we can get lost," Naruto insisted, throwing a hand out towards the tree line to his left.

"And what if we don't run into anyone with the earth scroll we need? What then?" Sasuke countered.

"Well, you heard Sakura-chan and her statistics book: in a couple of days there are gonna be teams camping out by the tower to screw everyone who tries to pass over. We'll just fight one of them, or all of them, whatever, and get a scroll, no problem-ttebayo." Naruto held his thumb up and adopted a cool, relaxed pose.

"I never said it would be a good idea to do that," Sakura interrupted, folding her arms across her red, sleeveless top.

Sasuke and Naruto had been arguing for the better part of the first hour of the second part of the exam. She resisted to scratch the side of her neck beneath the collar that zipped up tightly around it. The metal stitched into the fabric was a gift from her mother. If anyone held a kunai to her throat, they'd be in for rude surprise.

"You don't think we can handle it?" Naruto frowned at her, almost betrayed. She shook her head.

"Look, we've been at this for almost an hour. All the other teams are already in the woods. We need to get a move-on and we should _logically_ head North-west."

Sakura sighed. It was starting again, back at square one.

"I'm done," she declared, dropped her arms and headed east, away from her boys and away from the directions they wanted to go in. "You guys can stand there and keep arguing or you can follow me."

She knew she was being a child by giving them an ultimatum, but at the end of the day, Sasuke was right. They were wasting time.

"Hey Sakura-chan, wait!"

She heard Naruto's footsteps behind her and didn't bother to turn around. Sasuke didn't make a sound, but his irritation descended on them like a tangible cloud. He fell into step with Naruto and soon both boys caught up to Sakura, trapping her between them as they usually did.

The trees around them were as ominous as they were enormous and their wide branches and thick leaves obscured most of the sunlight that tried to shine through to the overgrown forest floor.

Sasuke and Sakura had spent a whole irritating month with Kakashi-sensei, just surviving in the woods and learning to fend for themselves with few or no tools. More often than not, the copy ninja would disappear for days on end, irritating the two with his cleanliness every time he arrived to check on them. They spent days without bathing, _days_ , and they stunk to high heaven so bad that Sakura was left wondering how on earth they hadn't caught the attention of wild animals more than once or twice.

What they had been through in those woods made the forest of death somewhat familiar to them, at least to Sasuke and Sakura. They evaded gnarled, uneven tree roots, holes and thorns without even having to look down at where they were going. Sakura was surprised Naruto was keeping up, considering the fact that he had mostly been on the road during his training. In any case, most teams would be jumping from tree to tree, because it was the easier option, but they'd waste their energy doing so before finding food and water. Team seven on the other hand were making their way over the perilous forest floor at a brisk, smooth pace without straining themselves much at all.

"Naruto, can you sense anyone nearby?" she politely asked, turning her head towards the blonde. Grinning, he placed his fingers into the tiger sign, focusing his energy and concentration, more than happy to be doing something for her.

After a moment he informed, "Maybe a team, but they're kind of faint. They're moving away from us. Ah, yep. They're gone. Somewhere West, I think."

"I _told_ you we should have gone west," Sasuke growled, but he didn't have time to chew either Sakura nor Naruto out before a large snake crashed in between the three from the branches above. They just barely dodged it, each one taking a position up on a tree branch of a gargantuan oak. Sakura pulled two kunai out of the weapons pouch tacked onto her navy-blue shorts. She concentrated on leaking her chakra into the blades, trusting Sasuke's eyes to assess the situation while she prepared.

"That's big, even for the largest of snake species," he informed in a wary tone.

Sakura "sharpened" the chakra around her blades, turning the energy into a scalpel-sharp edge around each knife like Uta-nee taught her.

"Mn," Naruto agreed.

Sakura opened her eyes.

"Here it comes!" Sasuke's sharingan had flared to life the moment they were attacked and the two tomoe spun around his red irises, predicting the snake's movements.

"Jump!" he commanded, and the three leapt higher into the tree as the snake wove its thick body around the trunk in a spiral, tongue lashing out at them with a hiss.

"I say we stab it," Sakura suggested as they regrouped while running up the length of the trunk.

"I say we cut it to pieces. I have more than enough ninja wire to cut through its body," Sasuke proposed.

"Or we can make it _explode_!" Naruto pulled out three exploding tags with an excited smile. Sasuke smirked and Sakura mirrored the expression.

"I say we do all three," she proposed, dodging a branch and skipping over a startled squirrel.

"Good idea. Naruto, distract it with the tags. While it's surprised, I'll wrap my wire around it and when it's immobile, Sakura will stab it through the head," Sasuke planned, looking at both Sakura and Naruto to see if they agreed. Sakura nodded and smiled. This was one of the few times her and Sasuke were ever in agreement. When it came down to a fight, Sasuke's mind clicked with hers just right.

"Alright-ttebayo! Let's do this!"

"Go!" On Sasuke's command, Naruto back-flipped off the trunk, throwing exploding tags at the tree right above the snake's face. The first two missed its, face because the slithering beast managed to swirl around the other side of the tree trunk and use it as a shield, but the next four hit the mark, surprising it into a dead stop. In those few precious seconds where the snake wasn't able to advance on them, Sasuke did his part and dove down from several meters above, running across the snake's body and around the part of the trunk it was coiled around, all the while binding it in place with ninja wire. He planted his feet on the side of the trunk and used his entire body weight to anchor the strings and hold the snake to the tree. Right when the snake recovered enough to squirm against Sasuke's hold, Sakura put her plan in action and backflipped off the branch she was on, twisted her body on her way down, and landed right on top of the snake's head, plunging the knife and the sharpened chakra around it into its brain. It jerked in pain for a moment, then fell limp. Sasuke released his grip on the body and it fell to the earth, hitting every branch on its way down. Naruto bumped arms and then locked elbows with Sasuke as the Uchiha recollected his wire, and then high-fived Sakura when she met them on their branch.

"Nice work, Sakura-chan!" he complemented her and she felt herself blushing. It was nice being praised by the rough-and-tumble boys on her team. Naruto and Sasuke were truly something else, and knowing that they respected her skills was something that she was proud of.

They didn't have another moment to rest before they heard the hiss of an exploding tag. Green, blue, and charcoal eyes made startled eye contact and the three dropped down to safety before the tagged kunai hit the branch and shattered it into tiny, flaming embers.

The danger didn't end there. They had to roll, duck and dance around a volley of metal before their attacker made himself known. The person who stepped out of the shadows was a tall, knobby-looking woman with black hair, a Kusagakure headband, and a sadistic grin.

She sent chills up Sakura's spine. Naruto stepped so close to her their shoulders almost touched and Sasuke took two steps forward, electing himself as their representative.

"Walk away now and you might get to keep all of your teeth," the Uchiha threatened and slid into his opening taijutsu stance, arms relaxed at his sides, ready to pull kunai out of his pouch if the need arose. Even Sakura had to admit that that was a good opening line.

The woman laughed condescendingly, but said nothing else as she crossed her arms and released them, leaking a wave of killing intent. It almost froze Sakura in place. Almost. She battled the images of her death out of her mind.

" _Always act confident, even if you're not. Just fake it till you make it, till it feels real,"_ Yuzu-nee-chan had lectured her. Sakura told herself over and over that she wasn't going to die, and the mantra helped her steady her heartbeat and regain control of her fear. Naruto, on the other hand, blocked her body with his own completely. All she could see was his soft, blonde hair.

"Naruto," she warned strictly. He should know by now that she wants nothing more than to stand at his side, not behind him.

"I can't explain how I know, Sakura-chan, but she's going to go for you first." He turned his head to look at her, the serious look in his cerulean eyes the only thing that stopped her from arguing his point. Naruto always had good gut instincts, and she knew better to question them anyway.

"Can I at least see, please?"

He nodded and twisted his torso, changing his stance just enough for her to see between the curve of his shoulder and neck. Even though she wanted to fight alongside him, she had to admit his protectiveness made her blush.

 _Naruto, you never stop defending me, do you?_

She tightened her grip on her kunai, and watched as the woman slammed both arms down onto the ground. The earth splintered and cracked, the pebbles riding on an invisible wave of chakra that she couldn't see.

They all leapt into the trees above to avoid it, Naruto sticking to her like glue. Like her teammate thought, the woman used the distraction to speed past Sasuke so fast, the Uchiha couldn't react in time to stop her. She landed a kick on Naruto so hard, Sakura heard the air wheeze out of his lungs before he flew backwards from the force. Sakura lunged at the wretch before she even heard Naruto's body connect with the bark of a tree behind her. She roared and swiped at her, knowing that Sasuke was on his way.

They'd team up on her like they did with Kakashi-sensei; it was the only shot they had. The woman dodged her at inhuman speeds. Whoever she was, she was beyond chunin level in skill. Sakura swiped at her face and neck two more times before Sasuke's foot connected with the arm she brought up to defend her head with. He switched feet, stomping on her arm again, forcing her to bend at her waist, just the tiniest bit. Sasuke then sailed over her head and landed just a meter way, far enough to put a spring in his step and launch his knee at her chest while Sakura thrusted her kunai at her eye.

The woman disappeared fast enough to confuse them both.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto's scream reached her ears a moment too late.

The statistics book Sakura has been reading stated that when a ninja loses sight of his opponent, there was an estimated eighty-seven percent chance that they would appear behind him. Sakura was turning, twisting her torso, moving as fast as she could, but she just wasn't fast enough.

"Sakura!"

She had never heard Sasuke's voice so concerned, so shocked, so _helpless_.

The sensitive skin of her temple rippled as something solid slammed into it. Pain exploded across the side of her head and face. She heard her neck crack uncomfortably before her ears rung and the green and brown toned scenery blurred sideways across her vision. She only realized that her body was whipping through the air at high speed when she finally rammed head-first into rough, unforgiving tree bark.

And by then it was too late.

* * *

Sasuke saw red. He heard the crack of Sakura's skull smashing against the tree; it made his sick with rage. A wave of heat rushed up his body, from the soles of his feet to the top of his forehead and he _swore_ that something in his vision changed.

Kakashi had lectured that fighting while angry was always a mistake. A successful battle always took a cool head. It may have been a fact, but Sasuke hissed to himself that it was bullshit.

 _I'm going to murder you. I'll kill you for what you did to my friends._

He roared and threw a kick at the woman that she blocked with crossed arms. He pushed off her body with the same foot, almost dropped to all fours but lunged as her hips instead, her center of balance.

"She's still breathing!" Naruto's voice was far away. Knowing that Sakura wasn't dead helped cool his head but it did nothing to alleviate his blinding anger. The woman dodged his punches and kicks and disappeared again. Naruto threw kunai at her but she moved so quickly that she kicked up a cloud of dust and moss behind her. She zoomed from one place to the next, as if she was testing how good his eyes really were.

"Raaaa!" Naruto shouted in frustration, "Hold still so I can get you!"

For all of Naruto's talk, Sasuke knew that his best friend was injured. A couple of exploding tags his way sent him running fast, Sakura cradled safely in his arms. His sharingan registered the limp in his step before he blocked and dodged the woman, trying to fight back enough to keep her attention on him.

 _Exploding tags, huh. This is going to hurt, but it'll be worth it_.

A few taijutsu combinations later, he intentionally slipped up, and took one, two, three punches to the face and a vicious kick to his chest that sent him skidding across the branch and slowing to a stop near the curve where the branch connected to the tree. Something nicked his ear and the blood tickled his skin as it dripped, but he ignored it, keeping his body as limp as possible. He needed her to believe that she had bested him.

"You're an embarrassment to your clan's name. I thought you could do better than this, but I guess you'll just have to d—

 _BOOM!_

He had attached explosives to the back of the woman's skirt. She stumbled sideways and Sasuke knew he had her. He flipped past her, and pulled out his shuriken, his ninja wire already attached to them. She was still recovering from the shock of the blast, so he worked swiftly to tangle her in the wire while simultaneously pinning her to the tree, using the shuriken as guides. There were so many wires and weapons that only the sharingan could keep track of where everything was and how exactly it all fell into place. Her lips moved as she inaudibly recited the shuriken technique he used, utterly shocked before her back slammed against the bark of the trunk, the wire cutting through her clothes and into the skin of her legs, arms, chest neck and forehead.

 _Fire style: Dragon Flame jutsu!_

He watched the fire race down the wire between his teeth, heading straight for her head. She screamed as it slammed into her face, so hot he smelled the meat of her skin cooking and the putrid odor of her hair burning.

He slackened the wire when he was sure she was dead. The smoke cleared, but to his horror, there was a face beneath her melted skin, and it smirked at him with hungry, yellow eyes and flawless near-white skin.

"I'm impressed," she began as she wiggled enough for the abused wires to snap right off her body, "you have good control of your sharingan, for your age." Her voice bled into the rasp of a man's tone. "I believe you may even have the potential to surpass Itachi's eyes."

"You keep my brother's name out of your mouth," he hissed dangerously, but the woman—man?— only chuckled. Sasuke had burned through a lot of his chakra, and somehow, he had the feeling that his opponent knew.

The man held up the heaven scroll, along with Sakura's kunai pouch. He must have swiped it off of the rosette when he kicked the side of her head, right before she went flying head-first into the tree trunk.

 _Shit_.

"I could give this back as a parting gift, but," he set the scroll his team started out with on fire, "I think I have something better than that for you, Sasuke-kun."

"You can shove it up your a—

He didn't have time to finish before the man's neck stretched out and snaked its way towards him so fast he barely registered that the man had moved at all.

 _Shit!_

There was no way to dodge it. He saw the fangs before—

"Keep your dirty teeth off my best friend-ttebayo!"

Naruto's battle cry reached his ears. He didn't even _see_ Naruto before orange and blue blurred in front of him and cleared enough for Sasuke to watch the blonde's foot connect with the man's face. His best friend kept his momentum going until he crushed the man's head between the sole of his sandal and the trunk of the tree adjacent to theirs.

"And that's for messing Sakura-chan up!"

Naruto pushed off the deformed face of the man, somersaulting backwards and landing in a heap next to Sasuke, taking deep, gasping breaths.

 _Did he just use… the teleportation jutsu?_ Sasuke stared at the blonde, speechless.

"Man, that jutsu made me tired."

Sasuke turned his eyes back to their opponent before the shock could leave him open for another attack. The body started to melt and turn brown.

"Substitution!" he shouted out, but it was unnecessary. Naruto was already on the lookout for where the bastard would appear next.

"Not good enough!" the man cried coming in for a second try, but just as Sasuke saw the fangs fly at him again, this time from above, the sound of a kunai whistled through the air past his face, slicing through a few of the hairs of his bangs. It hit a branch above, an explosion went off and he barely had time to shove both himself and Naruto off the tree branch they were on and land on another one.

"Orochimaru!" It was that Anko woman from before, and she was _mad_. She sailed over Sasuke's head, ignoring both him and Naruto. The man, _Orochimaru_ , cursed and as far as Sasuke knew, ran from Anko's assault of weapons. The woman pushed and attacked him further and further away from where Sasuke and Naruto sat, wide eyed and crouching next to each other. He heard explosion after explosion after explosion until the booms grew so distant he only heard their dim echoes bouncing off the trees.

Though he was safe, he collapsed to his knees like a sack of stones.

"I'm so tired," Naruto yawned and Sasuke almost slugged him for his nonchalance, "How does Shisui-nii-chan teleport so many times in a row!?"

"When did you even learn to do that in the first place!"

"Well," he grinned, "actually, just now!" Naruto burst into laughter. "Shisui-nii tried to teach me before but I just couldn't do it. Not until now, I guess. Cool, huh?" He winked and crossed his arms, but then flinched at the movement. "A~ah! Damn, my back hurts!" He reached behind on instinct to place his hand as close to the pained area as possible.

Sasuke gave him a hard look. "That could have gone _really_ bad if you screwed it up."

"Yeah, well, it went really good so," Naruto trailed off and finished with a shrug. "Anyway, we need to get out of here and find somewhere safe for me and Sakura-chan to recover."

Sasuke nodded, and looked at Sakura's prone form safely tucked against the trunk of a nearby tree.

"Mn. Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

 **PLEASE LISTEN UP:**

I have officially decided that romance is not the main quest of this fic. This fic was never intended to be a "how the girl gets the guy" type of thing. **However** , because my inner writer loves drama and because the way this story is going in my head, I will confirm that _yes_ there will be romance, it just won't be the main focus of the fic. And both ships, SS ItaYuzu and SS YuzuShi will sail.

It's going to be complicated, but everyone will get the ending they want, okay? I promise. Just at some point, the chapters are going to be split. It's going to be all the same events but if any significant relationship developments happen, they will be written differently to suit the ship. Same action, same plot, just minor details that develop one relationship or the other will change. Everything will be labeled properly and blah blah blah we haven't even gotten that far yet, so it doesn't matter yet. This is just a heads up and a reminder to always read author's notes because I do actually have important shit to say.

So anyway, long story short, **for all you shippers out there, you will** _ **all**_ **be satisfied.** Promise. =]

Anyway, Orochimaru attacked, guys. What the actual fuck!? He still needs a body, remember? One that he had to test just to be sure. He's the same scheming bastard we all hate, or love to hate, or love, who knows! I hope everyone's okay with that and if not, too bad.

I tried to incorporate some elements of the original Sasuke Vs. Orochimaru in the forest of death, such as the exploding tags and Sasuke kicking his arm twice before flipping over his head. I hope I at least delivered on that part!

Anyway, kthxbye!

See you, Space Cowboy

Disclaimer: Nope. I'm protesting these. They're not necessary. I don't own jack-squat.


	22. So Many Fights!

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|22|

* * *

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!

Team seven trained hard for many months so they could stand a chance at the chunin exam. Naruto and Sakura trained with Yuzuha and Utau while Sasuke apprenticed under Kakashi. A month before the chunin exam they were schedules to take, Kakashi took Sakura and Sasuke on a month-long survival trip into a forest while Jiraiya took Naruto under his wing. Team seven was attacked by Orochimaru in the woods. Thankfully, their training came in handy, because Orochimaru failed to mark Sasuke before he was caught, though, he kicked Sakura in the head, knocked her out, and injured Naruto's back.

Meanwhile, Hiruzen called Yuzuha into his office to discuss her becoming a clan head on the condition that she passes an exam. Yuzuha agreed to take the exam too eagerly. There would be four representatives she would have to fight; one for each council member, plus Hiruzen. Thankfully, Itachi is sane—unlike someone we know— and decided to take Yuzuha to the underground Uchiha armory to prepare her.

Things are looking bad for team seven, and God only knows what Yuzuha will face during her exam!

* * *

 **THIS BOLDED SECTION IS THE NEUTRAL VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER! THIS VERSION DOES NOT CONTAIN ITAYUZU! ALL PASSENGERS ABOARD SS: ITAYUZU, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT BOLDED SECTION AND START READING FROM THERE!**

"How long do you think it'll take her to wake up?"

Sasuke had found cover under a large section of raised tree roots where Naruto and Sakura could rest.

Their only medic was out with a head injury, he was dangerously low on chakra, and Naruto had an injured back. In other words, their situation _sucked_. Not only that, but their only scroll had been burned to ashes and now, they'd have to work twice as hard to get the scrolls they needed to pass the test.

This _really_ sucks.

Naruto turned to look at Sakura from his supine position next to her and frowned with worry.

"I don't know," Sasuke finally answered, adjusting the cold, damp cloth on her forehead, "but when she does, I'm going to try to learn that healing jutsu she uses. There's a chance she'll be coherent enough to show it to me. Hopefully from there I can copy it and use it on her. It's the best plan I have so far." When he turned back to Naruto, the blonde grinned like the sun at high noon. Sasuke continued, "It's how Utau-nee learned." He looked down at his palms against his filthy, white shorts. "God damn it," he growled and squeezed his fists together, "If I had just been faster, even a little bit, she'd be okay."

"It happens. We'll make it through this test and look back when we're ultra-strong, super-cool, elite ninjas and laugh about how we got beat up by that Orochimaru guy. You'll see." Naruto's smile didn't fade.

The optimism helped, but Sasuke was a realist. It did nothing to change their situation. Sakura's brain might be bleeding, and neither he nor Naruto could do anything about it. She might _die_.

"If I had just been faster," he murmured under his breath.

 _If I just had the time to throw a kunai, a shoe, spit at his face, anything! I'm sorry, Sakura. I was right there and I failed you. Some "Uchiha genius" I am. Nii-san would never have let something like this happen._

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Stop it with the face, already!" he growled in frustration. "We're gonna make it out of here, all of us."

Right then, Sakura stirred, a small, pained groan escaping her throat. Sasuke almost hurt his neck turning back to her so quickly.

Naruto laughed. "See! I told you!"

"Sakura," Sasuke leaned down and pushed her hair away from her face, "are you okay?"

Her eyes focused on them, but he could tell that she was confused.

"Sa…suke?"

The memories must have hit her then, because she tried to fly into a seated position, but Sasuke held her against the ground by her shoulders.

"Where's Naruto!" she demanded to his face, but then her fierce expression crumpled. "I'm so dizzy… everything is moving weird, even your face." She looked nauseous.

"I'm right here, Sakura-chan," Naruto's voice was soft and confident, but he was just about as busted up as she was. Sakura took a breath to say something, but her eyes squeezed shut.

"He must have hit you hard enough to shake your inner ear," Sasuke murmured, but then shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Sakura, listen to me," he activated his sharingan, "I need you to show me the healing jutsu you use."

She looked at him confused, but as her eyes searched his face he saw her connecting the dots.

"You're planning to learn, right here and now, how to heal?"

Sasuke leaned away from her, taking his hands off her shoulders. "I'm going to try. It's the only plan we have. You and Naruto can't even move and that guy burned our scroll. If we want to pass this test, we need to work twice as hard and I can't do that alone."

"What do you mean, ' _that guy'_?"

That's right, she was knocked out before he showed his true colors.

"The woman turned out to be a man in disguise, it's a long story. Just stop asking questions and do it so I can copy it!" he snapped, because who knew if she was going to pass out again or not. Her eyes weren't the clearest and she was pale as death.

"Alright, alright. Ready?"

"Mn." He narrowed all his concentration on the two palms she brought together and held up to his face. They began to glow green and he watched how her chakra ebbed and flowed to make such a technique possible. She held on for a little longer before her arms dropped.

"Sorry, I'm really dizzy." She brought a hand up to the side of her head and hissed when her fingers touched her bruised temple.

"Alright. I think I got it."

He moved over to Naruto first.

"Eh!? Me first? I don't wanna be your guinea pig, go find, I don't know, something else to heal or something!" He tried to get up and run, but his injuries wouldn't let him. His face crumpled as his body jerked in reaction to his pain and he obediently laid down, eyeing Sasuke nervously.

"Your injury is less serious so deal with it. Now shut up so I can concentrate."

Naruto and Sakura didn't breathe a word as he took a deep breath in, then out, trying to summon his chakra to his palms and then hold it there. His mind knew exactly how to do it, step by step, but his chakra wasn't able to do what was necessary. He growled to chase away the dissonance and took a deep breath to try again.

"I don't know if this will help, but Uta-nee told me to imagine my chakra as a river and to narrow the river into a trickle before I release it. You have a lot of chakra, Sasuke, so it might take you some time, but it's a jutsu that I think anyone can learn with a little effort."

He took her words into consideration and closed his eyes, focusing on how his chakra moved instead of the end result he wanted. This was the first time he'd have to put effort into learning a jutsu, and it was horrible. How did Naruto do it every day with a smile?

To Sasuke, his chakra was like his skin, something that was always there and ready to use without him really needing to focus on it. It was weird to have to mess with its flow and adjust it. He focused on seeping it into his arms, doing that thing that Sakura's chakra did right before it left her body, and finally, trying to hold it there, right in the center of his palms.

"He's doing it!" Naruto gasped in surprise, and broke his concentration. When Sasuke opened his eyes, he made sure his glare made Naruto's face turn blue with fear.

"Try it again," Sakura instructed with confidence in her tone. He briefly thought that she'd make a good teacher before he found success again, the green glow flowing around his hands. It caused him pain to refine his chakra in such a way, but he held the flow and slowly placed his hands over Naruto.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, how come you can't just heal yourself-ttebayo?"

 _Shut up, idiot. I'm not medic of the year, here. I need to concentrate._

"You need to use hand seals for that and I don't know them yet. Yondaime-sama could just do it without them. I want to be able to do that one day."

"How is it feeling?" Sasuke asked through gritted teeth, his sweat beading around his neck and hairline. He didn't know if he was getting dizzy or if his body was shaking from the effort and trauma.

"I don't know, let me try to move something."

Sasuke could feel Naruto moving and shuddered. It was like his chakra was being pulled in sync with Naruto's motions. Every twitch of Naruto's fingers or tilt of his head tugged at something fundamental within Sasuke and it felt so utterly invasive the only word Sasuke could think of to describe it would be, " _disgusting_." He didn't know how Sakura sat there and healed them so many times if it felt like that to do it.

 _Maybe I just suck at it._

"Hey, look! I did a crunch!" He sat up too fast and Sasuke almost threw up with the motion. "I think I'm good." he announced and held his thumb up.

Sasuke exhaled and released his "hold" on Naruto. He scooted next to Sakura, wondering how her chakra would feel against his. There was something intimate about healing. It was no wonder that medics fell in love with some of their patients. He felt his face heat up as he hovered his hands over Sakura's forehead.

"If anything feels weird, you tell me," he warned, "This is your head I'm working on, remember."

"I'll let you know," she murmured back and took a breath to relax her body.

Sasuke closed his eyes and heard Naruto scoot next to her. He felt the blonde's eyes on him. Healing Naruto had made him so much more aware of him and his presence.

With another steadying breath, Sasuke shoved himself back into the pain, sweat dripping down his spine as he concentrated on controlling his chakra. When it brushed against hers, his heart started pounding.

 _Concentrate, idiot_.

He felt every one of her breaths, every tremor that made her tremble in agony next to him. She was putting up a decent front if she could keep her face so straight while being in such a poor condition. He almost felt her stomach churning, and wondered if she could see past his own façade when he was injured. He didn't know how long his own body ached for as he allowed his thoughts to consume him. He had gone almost into a meditative state, needing the unbreakable concentration not only to keep the energy swirling at his palms, but to also stay strong against the pins and needles that seemed to pierce every single one of his pores.

—suke?"

 _What?_

"Sasuke?" This time he heard her voice. "I'm okay. I've been okay for the last minute or so. Are you okay?" He tried hard to disengage from the technique slowly. Somehow, he knew that if he just dropped it, it would hurt twice as much. "Sasuke?"

"I heard you, just give me a second. Everything hurts." He couldn't spare the effort to put any bite in his tone. It wasn't until he felt the rush of his energy returning to its natural state that he dropped his arms and exhaled, opening his eyes to two smiling faces, both proud of his accomplishment.

"That was _awesome_!" Naruto cheered and gave him a thumbs-up.

"You got it almost as fast as I did when I first tried." For Sakura, that was a complement.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, now let me see your hands. Hold them out," she ordered in her no-nonsense tone and adjusted herself until her legs were folded beneath her.

Confused, Sasuke looked down at his palms and cringed from what he saw there. Huge blisters decorated the palms of his hands, filled with disgusting yellow liquid. It didn't start to smart or sting until he looked at it. Cringing, he watched as she pulled his hands into her lap by his wrists.

"I've seen burns from poor usage of chakra before, but this is _bad_. How hard did you have to struggle keeping your chakra there, at that 'point'?"

"Hard," he replied and looked her square in the face. She blinked, frowned and then looked around until her eyes landed on Naruto and she smiled.

 _Why don't you smile at me like that?_

He quashed the idiotic thought. What was he getting jealous about anyway? Sakura always had a good relationship with Naruto, unlike with himself.

"Naruto, can you please pass me my pack?"

"Sure thing," Naruto grabbed it and handed it to her, "but, some stuff might be missing from it. Orochi-teme kind of threw some stuff out of it."

Her eyes narrowed as she flicked it open and searched its contents.

"You said he burned the scroll, Sasuke?" She looked up at him with a lost sort of expression. He nodded solemnly. In response, she shook her head of short, pink, hair and continued rummaging. "Most of the medical stuff is gone. I have some bandages and ointment, but— ah! This'll do." She pulled out a single senbon with a malicious grin, and then turned the frightening expression on him. "This is gonna hurt a bit." He took a breath to protest, but she had already stabbed one of the biggest blisters on his palm.

"R-agh!" he hissed and tried to pull his tired arm away from her but she wasn't having it. She gripped his wrist so hard he was sure he'd get bruises and kept the back of his hand flat against the warmth of her thigh as the fluid beneath his skin drained onto the ground next to them.

"Just two more times, promise. Grit your teeth and bear it." She cleared her throat and then, "One… two! Okay, this hand's done. Let me see the other one." Sasuke swallowed, but let her do what she had to. Popping and draining the blisters made his palms feel better, and when she started to heal the toasted skin beneath the drained blisters he was finally able to relax his tense muscles. Eventually, she was done, and he peeled the old skin off his hands, inspecting the fresh, pink skin beneath it.

"Don't mess with it too much. Here, give them to me one more time." She slathered some ointment on his palms to keep them moisturized and then wrapped them in bandages. When she was done, she sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"How much time did we lose?" she asked Naruto, and Sasuke could tell she expected to hear the worst.

"It's sun-down, so… like a whole day, basically, I think." Naruto caught Sasuke's eyes, asking for clarification. When Sasuke nodded, Naruto turned his attention back to Sakura.

She smiled brightly. "Okay good! That's not as bad as I thought! Let's go find food and water and hunker down for the night. Did you find this place, Sasuke? It's a really good hiding spot."

He shrugged and looked away. "I could've done better, but I didn't have time."

"Aw, look at Sasuke trying to be cool!" Naruto grabbed his cheek between his fingers and Sasuke slapped his hand away, glaring at him.

"You want me to re-injure that back for you!?" he threatened, "Because I can break it this time!"

Sakura's responding laugh put a smile on both their faces.

 _At least we're all okay_.

* * *

"Give yourself up, Uchiha Sasuke. Or we'll blow their brains out through their ears."

 _Aaaand we're not okay._

The trio from the new Sound village had descended on team seven like bloodthirsty mosquitos. They attacked in the middle of the night and now, Naruto's head was pinned under some jerk's foot and some girl had a kunai to Sakura's throat in the silvery light of the full moon.

The long-sleeved ninja that looked like a porcupine introduced himself as Dosu after he tried to blast Sasuke's ear apart with his arm. Only the sharingan spared him a bleeding ear drum. If he hadn't involuntarily activated his eyes when Sakura screamed, he wouldn't be standing right now.

"How about you let my teammates go and you leave here alive instead?" he threatened, "I might even leave your teammates intact if you're quick about it." Sasuke _hated_ it when others tried to intimidate him. The only people he gave the honor of his fear were his brother and his cousin. They were beasts among men and the only two peoppe that could truly stress him out in a spar.

Although, all bravery aside, he had to admit team seven's current situation was bad.

Sakura was directly to his left, Naruto on his right. Both of his teammates were grinding their teeth, but he had spent enough time in the woods with the rosette to catch the look in her jade eyes.

She has a plan.

He squeezed his fists and then let them relax. It was their own little code for, "I understand you."

The girl threatening her life towered over her petite form, holding her from behind. As Sakura held onto the wrist holding the kunai to her throat, she shifted her fingers, separating the last two from the first three, and pressing down with the last two.

They'd count to "two" and then create chaos.

One.

He saw Sakura tense.

Two!

She twisted her body beneath the knife, and slammed her foot on her captor's exposed toes. The girl yelped in pain and diverted the her teammates' eyes to her. That one second of inattention, was all Sasuke and Naruto needed to turn the tables on their opponents.

Sasuke threw exploding tags at Dosu, and jumped into the flames with his foot outstretched, gritting his teeth against the burn of the fire. Naruto reached up and behind himself with both awkward arms and then twisted his opponent's ankle, skidding the foot across his face in the process, but whatever. He managed to get the guy to scream and jump back in pain. Sasuke's eyes flicked back to Sakura, and he saw metal beneath the sliced high collar of her red shirt.

Under armor. Smart. They always threatened to cut the girl's throat, didn't they? It was excellent preventative thinking.

Sakura already had the girl pinned against a tree trunk, one foot on the girl's injured one, and one forearm choking the life out of her, right beneath her chin. She fought back weakly, but the lack of oxygen was slowing her down and Sakura had a firm grip on her wrist.

As the sounds of struggle continued, Sasuke's foot connected with something metal and when it didn't budge, he flipped and twisted over his opponent's head before another wave of sound could hit him. He was already putting his plan in action.

Naruto deftly avoided a gust of sound from his opponent's hands and practically twirled right into his face. His opponent expected him to throw a punch at his gut, but Naruto used their height difference and proximity to his advantage and jumped upwards, cracking the guy's nose with the top of his head.

As their fight continued, Sasuke kept leaping around Dosu, pretending to slow down just a bit each time he dodged his attacks. Slowly, Dosu's confidence rose and he began to cackle, thinking he had Sasuke on the run.

 _What's it like to be stupid, I wonder?_

When all of Sasuke's wires were in place, he "desperately" leapt to the side, leaving himself open to attack. Dosu laughed through his bandages and summoned the sound waves into his arms. Right then, Sasuke smirked and pulled with all his strength.

One of Dosu's arms flew downwards at his feet, and the other went right into his face at an angle awkward enough for him to blast his own ears with his own sound waves.

Sasuke watched as he screamed and fell to the forest floor, just seconds after Sakura dropped her opponent's body like a dumbbell and joined him in surrounding their only remaining opponent.

He was too focused on judging his enemy's potential strengths when they had initially introduced themselves, but he was pretty sure the last guy called himself Zaku.

Zaku held both of arms out, palms facing Naruto and Sakura, but he was cornered against a tree trunk, bleeding and unbalanced on his twisted ankle. Even as he stood, trying to support his weight against the tree, it still hung at an awkward angle. Naruto must have snapped the bone at its joint. Sasuke almost felt sorry for him. He had started the battle as a hunter, but team seven turned him into prey. It must be terrifying for a person to realize that he is no longer the predator and that it is too late for him.

He deserved it for pointing those palms at his teammates; for threatening their lives.

"Who sent you?" Sakura asked in a poisonous hiss that Sasuke wasn't aware she was capable of. "Was it that weirdo, Orochimaru!?" She prepped her chakra-coated kunai, and he flinched at the sudden appearance of a green glow. Naruto kept his eyes on Zaku's palms, his one cheek skinned and swollen from his escape attempt.

"I don't have to tell you squat, prince—

Sasuke lunged at him and the boy caught the action in his peripheral vision. Like a scared animal, he shot sound out of the hole in his hand in defense, but Sasuke was faster than him.

Naruto was also on the move. He used his panic against him, stepped inwards, and grimaced as he grabbed his arm. What was to come next was going to sicken all of them.

Sasuke saw Naruto's chest expand with a nervous breath as he held him by the wrist and then used his hand to invert his elbow, snapping that joint, too.

The crack and pop echoed off of the trees and Sasuke swore he saw Naruto's skin turn slightly green in the moonlight.

The boy howled in pain and Sakura took the opportunity to duck past Naruto and mercifully kicked him in the temple the same way Orochimaru kicked her. Zaku's face bounced off of the tree trunk behind him and he slumped to the floor, unconscious.

For several, quiet moments, team seven huffed and puffed amongst the steady chirping of crickets, assessing each other for injuries.

When he was sure all was well, Naruto looked at his opponent's prone form with an apologetic frown on his face. "What do we do with them?"

Dosu groaned from the center of the clearing and they all turned their backs on Zaku, ready to beat Dosu into a pulp if necessary.

"Please, don't kill them," he begged and tried to sit up. He only managed to roll over a bit before emptying his stomach all over the bandages on his face.

 _That must feel disgusting._

"We'll ask you again. Who sent you?" Sasuke demanded and lowered his arms.

"Your girl is right—

" _Sakura_ ," Naruto corrected, his tone a warning, but Dosu paid him no mind. His eye was wildly trying to focus on Sasuke in front of him.

"Orochimaru-sama sent us to kill you at first, but then he told us to retrieve you instead. You were supposed to be unconscious."

"Well, the next time you see him, you tell him that every team he sends after us will end up just like you losers," Sasuke replied and crossed his arms.

"And give us your scroll, too!" Naruto growled. "That jerk burned ours."

"It's in Kin's pack."

Sakura marched across the clearing and fished it out of the weapons pouch at the girls thigh. After tossing it to Naruto, she walked over to Dosu and lifted an arm.

"You're lucky we're not like the other teams," she spoke down at him, and then knocked him unconscious, delivering a vicious hit to his neck. Then, she dropped to her knees and placed glowing green palms near his ear.

"I worked hard to put him in that state," Sasuke grumbled at her.

"And he'll still be in pain when he wakes up, don't worry. I'm healing him just enough to make the damage he's done to himself temporary. Think what you want, but we really messed them up. Besides, didn't you say they have a message to deliver?" She shot him a look that dared him to argue the point, and when he didn't reply, she walked up to the boy Naruto brutalized and started setting his joints back in place. She healed them, just enough as she promised, and then turned back to Naruto and Sasuke.

"We have an earth scroll. Now we just need a heaven scroll. We've only lost a day, and a lot of other teams are probably just getting started too. Somehow, we caught up," Sakura summarized and looked into the woods.

"Mn. We should set traps," Sasuke offered, but Naruto shook his head.

"No way! We should just feel out some teams and ambush them in the night!"

"They'll be most alert at night," Sakura reminded, "it would be way more difficult that way."

"With that psychopath out there, I think we should take someone out as soon as possible. We need to rest first, regroup and then move," Sasuke planned, dropping his arms and turning to Naruto, "I think I like your plan. With a little bit of rest, it won't be hard to use the sharingan to ambush someone."

"Hey, don't go being a hero. You can't do it alone," Sakura huffed, crossing her arms. "I can't talk you guys out of a night strike, fine. But we should at least work in tandem if we're going to ambush a team, maybe set traps against their traps or something," she trailed off and placed a hand to her chin, looking down and spacing out, no doubt imagining the different traps she could rig under the cover of night.

"It doesn't have to be that complicated." Sasuke shook his head. "Naruto, how many explosives do you have left? I'm low on mine."

Naruto grinned devilishly and patted the weapons pouch on his left thigh. He had taken two to the exam. It was dangerous, extra weight that could have gotten in his way or slowed him down, but both Sasuke and Sakura had let it go after he promised he could handle it and that it was worth it.

"I got plenty right in here. Ero-sennin suggested I stock up, so let's blow some stuff up!"

"Alright," Sasuke began, "But first, we nap, eat and recover. We'll move during in a few hours, find a team, take out their watchman, and then set off our explosives. While they're still confused we'll take them out, grab their scroll, and move North as fast as possible."

He eyed Sakura and Naruto, looking for their approval. Both his teammates nodded, and the three silently set out to find a suitable place to rest.

* * *

I stepped into the empty arena built for the chunin exams on my exam day, decked out head-to-toe in seals that I painted all over my body. The night before the exam, I spent hours with my clones in the Uchiha armory just painting seals onto my body until Itachi rolled around in the evening with dinner packaged up in neat boxes. We ate and he helped me seal about forty-two percent of the room's weapons into my body, including one special weapon that he had to modify before he placed it into the seal on my back. By the time I rolled up to the arena, I was prepared for war. If Madara attacked right now, I'd have enough weapons in my body to hold him at bay…for maybe like ten minutes. Maybe.

Anyway, I looked around. It was noon, the sun was at its peak and there was one cloud in the sky. The test zone was just dirt ground and nothing special. I vaguely remember there being a tree and some grass during Naruto's battle against Neji here, but maybe they haven't installed that yet.

On a little balcony, I saw jii-chan, Duck-shit-Danzo, the crusty old couple and two, faithful anbu in masks standing on both sides of the group. With a wave of jii-chan's hand, a shinobi appeared maybe twenty feet in front of me.

I was in shock.

Fugaku-sama stood there with one hand in his pocket, smirking in his jonin uniform, the mark of the Uchiha police force emblazoned on the shoulders of the long-sleeved black shirt beneath his green vest.

I must have been gaping, because he smirked at me, amused.

"What did you expect, honestly?"

I slapped a palm to my forehead. I wanted to be on the council of clans. I couldn't do that if I couldn't square up to a clan head, could I?

I wondered if Fugaku-sama had volunteered for the job. It was poetic in a way. I was about to fight him with the weapons he had amassed in the Uchiha war-room.

Heh. How pissed is he going to be with Itachi when he finds out?

There was no ceremony or fancy speech before the fight. The rules were common sense so they didn't even need to be stated.

"Begin." Danzo's voice echoed throughout the empty seating area. I didn't have half a second before Fugaku lunged and appeared in front of my face, sword ready to cut my neck.

I unsealed a fan just in time and parried it, sliding the fan up his blade from the hilt to the tip, tossing it to the side and then throwing an elbow at his throat, which was much more difficult than you think for someone of my stature.

We exchanged several blows, using our armed hands when necessary. He incorporated his sword into the Uchiha style perfectly, while I turned my fight style into a dance with my fan.

Eventually, our fight got to a point where he activated his sharingan and managed to surprise me. Our moves had become so mechanical and practiced that when he feinted to change up the patterns, the horizontal swipe of his sword threw me off and I had to switch places with a large pebble nearby to avoid it.

He smacked the rock away as if he were using a baseball bat and spun around to block the long, slender staff I unsealed with a touch of my fingers.

His eyes caught the Uchiha symbols engraved into the metal of the staff and a look of surprise flashed across his face. As soon as his eyebrows rose, I used the moment to shove my foot straight out at his gut. My foot connected with his hip bone and he went with the flow of my attack and jumped backwards in the direction I wanted him to go, skidding across the ground while using his left hand to throw three shuriken at my neck.

I bent backwards and flipped, hearing the metal cut through the air as the stars whizzed over my torso. When I was right-side-up again, I unsealed my own shuriken and threw them back. He parried them with another three of his own and the cluster of weapons fell to the dusty ground between us with a metal-on-stone _tap_!

We launched at each other again and when our weapons collided between us the bones in my arms vibrated with the force of the impact. His eyes narrowed and he twisted his torso until he could jab my forearm with his elbow, pushing my staff to the side at the same time. The blow sent a tingling sensation down into my wrist and fingers and loosened my grip just enough for him to slide his sword off of it and then strike it from underneath with the back of his blade.

The staff went flying and I dipped out of there, but I wasn't quick enough to get much distance between us. I twisted past a downwards strike and jumped away from a horizontal slash. Then, I touched the seal on my shoulder and out popped a naginata, the Uchiha fan emblazoned into the base of the short blade.

I parried a strike with his sword and with a yell, used as much strength as possible to shove him backwards. The Uchiha style would require him to go with my strike and fall back for a second. As expected, he did, but not without throwing a kunai that I blocked by spinning the staff part of the naginata.

Now it was my turn to hack and slash. I had used a naginata before, so I had more experience with it. I got maybe two good strikes in before Fugaku-sama started incorporating kicks and flips into his kenjutsu.

The naginata didn't last more than ten seconds before he bashed it out of my hands with his foot.

Fuckfuck _fuuuuuuck_.

It went flying somewhere and I cartwheeled to the side at the same time that I heard its metal blade cut into the dirt like a shovel.

It only took me a second to unseal Yusui's sword, and if our battle was a song, that would have been the moment the beat dropped.

Every step, every movement felt like a test of strength and wit. It was like a professional chess game: one wrong move and you've screwed up your chances of winning, _greatly_. Strike here, parry there, spin here, knee to the gut there, block right now, duck right after, et cetera, et cetera.

I knew the Uchiha style enough to hold my own against it, but I also knew it enough to know that the only way to land a hit on him would be to do something unexpected and unorthodox.

But first I need to get that sword out of his hands.

I wrapped my arm beneath my sleeve in my chains until my entire forearm was shielded. Then, I made my move. He struck diagonally, expecting me to move, but instead I brought up my arm. He sliced through my clothes, surprised until the moment he saw the glowing gold covering my skin.

I pushed back with my arm and batted his sword out and low enough to jump up and hook the back of my knee over his arm. He tried to lift up his arm to throw me off balance, but he didn't have the strength in that one muscle of his arm to hold my entire weight at the speed I was moving at.

I clenched my leg tightly as I lifted my other knee and shoved it right into his cheek.

We sailed backwards, my body making his too top-heavy to handle at the angle he was leaning at.

He fell and I used my sword to smack the hilt of his right out of his hand. He grabbed me by the back of my haori and tossed me, but not before I flung his sword right into the wall of the arena.

Bye-bye katana.

I rolled across the dirt and took my time getting up. When he dove downwards at me, intending on shoving his foot into my ribcage, I sprung up on all fours in a push-up position and dragged my lower half out of the way just as his foot connected with the ground.

I didn't let him jump away before I kicked up dirt in the same movement, flinging it upwards with so much force that is hit the bridge of his nose and his eyes.

I actually legit heard little pebbles hit the metal of his forehead protector.

He squinted and jumped back, and I knew I managed to at least take one eye out. When I jumped to my feet, he had closed his left eye.

Bye-bye left sharingan.

Now he was _pissed_. That was a dirty trick, yeah, but this is battle and that was the only thing that was going to give me an upper hand. Judge me all you want, but there's no _true_ honor in being a ninja. The first thing we're taught in the academy is trickery.

All it took was one hand seal from him and I was scrambling to dodge a huge—and I mean, _huge_ — fireball. I jumped up as high as I could and still felt the heat sapping the moisture out of the skin on my painted legs. I'm pretty sure my toes shriveled up a little.

I tapped an inner elbow to reseal Yusui's katana, and then touched a knee to unseal four kunai, two of them explosive. He had no choice but to dodge the knives and following explosions. That was all the time I needed to complete the string of hand-seals for my water dragon jutsu.

And that's exactly what I sent his way the second his feet hit the ground a distance away.

He made some odd hand sign and then blew out a huge-ass wall of fire that Madara would have been proud of. It clashed with my subpar dragon with a hiss and evaporated it like it was nothing.

Shit, I'm gonna die!

There's nowhere to go! This fuckin' wall is massive and wide-spread. It's like an ocean wave, but of white-hot fire and I'm about to drown. Hell's lake of fire has nothing on this thing!

I put my chakra-chain shield up and prayed for the best, making a clone at the same time, and having her transform into a discarded kunai against the arena wall.

She was my insurance and thankfully, he didn't see her before he showed up behind my shield, fists and legs flying, not giving me any time to recover.

I caught a fist to the face, but only because he made it look like he was going to kick me, distracting me and making me focus on his leg instead of his hand.

I flew back. _Flew_.

Only muscle memory forced me back on my feet immediately after skidding across the dirt several meters. My fists were up just in time to parry another straight punch. I ignored the pain in my jaw and the ringing in my ear as I braced myself for another string of vicious taijutsu moves.

My eyes were unfocused for a moment and I would've been fucked if I spent another one waiting for them to adjust, so instead, I closed them and used my Eye of Kagura to duck and dodge his strikes. It was easier to feel and picture attacks than actually struggle to see them when your eyes are busted. Plus, all that cave-training with the bats and eating bugs all day has to amount to something, right?

Tch. Eye for an eye, huh? Good thing I can literally fight blind.

I hissed as I felt a cut across my neck just below my ear. I could fight bodies blind, but not weapons. When did he even pick a kunai out of his pouch? Did he have it up his sleeve this whole time?

That forced my eyes open. I unsealed my fans to parry the two kunai he was stabbing and slicing at me with. It was not goddamn easy.

"Switch!" Jiji's voice echoed throughout the stadium and I was stunned when Fugaku jumped back into the seating area of the arena with a nod of approval in my direction.

Did our battle go on for too long?

I didn't have time to think about it. I heard something cutting through the air and just barely dodged a thick, black whip. It cracked against the ground next to me, and when I turned to face my opponent, I saw a female anbu in a bland, white mask, its only decoration being a single, blue snake, curled up on the center of the forehead.

Well, her whips sure moved like snakes. Yep, whip _s._ As in plural. As in she had two of them. I might just be fucked, but I do have some sort of chance. Dual-wielders are fierce opponents, but they have poor defensive skills, usually. Once you get past their speedy, successive attacks there's very little they can do to block you without dropping at least one of their weapons.

She swung one of the whips and before I knew it I was wishing up and down that I had been born an Uchiha. The sharingan would be _perfect_ right about now. It wasn't easy dodging her attacks. I had to read the way her wrists and arms moved first to be able to predict the motions that her whips would make just to know where they would snap. It was making my eyes hurt.

I made distance my priority. She was a specialized, close-to-mid -range fighter, so I had a good chance against her if I used distance attacks. It would be _really nice_ to have fireballs to spit at her right about now, but again, I wasn't born Uchiha and I wasn't born with an affinity for fire.

I just want to burn shit, damn it! Why!?

With another feather-light touch, I unsealed two exploding-tag kunai and tossed them her way. She batted them out of the way with her whips and came after me anyway, but the explosions behind her caused her to miss a step and falter. It was almost imperceptible, but it was _there_. To anyone not at the level of experience that we were at, it would have gone totally unnoticed, but I saw it. It was just a slight little tension of the muscles in her calves, but it gave me that split second to jump back onto the wall, far enough away from her to unseal my bow, and then unseal an exploding arrow from the red seals on the rare, black wood of my bow.

I shot the arrow and ignited the seals on it. She dodged it last second, but didn't expect it to explode right next to her. She flew to the side and I shot another one at her. She rolled out of the way, but she was on a downwards spiral. She just barely dodged every one of my shots, earning herself cuts and burns each time, until finally, I shot her in the shoulder.

Only, it wasn't her when the arrow exploded. It was a log.

I lunged forward as soon as I saw her body poof into the chunk of wood and just barely missed another crack of a whip from right behind me. I whirled around, pulled my bowstring back and jumped backwards across the narrow top of the concrete wall. If I fell into the seating area, the test would be over and I would lose. She was trying to get me to fall on the wrong side of the battleground.

I'll be damned if I let that happen again.

I flipped backwards off of the wall, arrow still knocked, and shot it in her general direction before I was oriented enough to read my situation. Unfortunately, I missed her, and now Jiji has to pay someone to fix the seats that I turned into rubble.

Oops.

I could feel her frustration building.

Ordinary battles weren't supposed to take this long. She was anbu. The violence on her missions always ended within a matter of seconds, minutes if her opponent or target was dangerous. I was a nuisance and every instinct she honed over her years of service to the village probably told her to get rid of me because fights this drawn-out weren't normal, and not normal equals fear, which equals death.

That's why I expected her attack. I sensed it first, of course, from the moment she called upon her chakra, but I knew from instinct that it was coming before that. It's the only reason I jumped as far back as I could before she poured chakra into the tips of her whips and extended them into sharpened points of spiky death.

I could almost hear her grinding her teeth. I wasn't supposed to dodge that, either.

Too bad, girlfriend.

I shot another arrow and then another and another until I was successfully keeping her at bay.

While she was busy trying not to get herself blown up and kill me in the process, my hidden clone from before did her duty. She knocked a regular arrow, pulled back, and shot it right through the woman's thigh. I could just barely see the steel tip jutting out from the front of her leg, dribbling blood as she howled in pain, the first noise I heard from her since she showed up.

"Switch!" The crusty old guy that wasn't so bad shouted from his place next to his anbu guard. The woman dove backwards into the stands, and limped away to an exit. I didn't get to see her disappear through the doorway before I sensed two bodies drop into the test zone.

I resealed my bow and unsealed a pair of nunchakus.

I have no idea how to use them, but they don't know that. So I spun them in circles, praying that they wouldn't catch on anything or crack my straight teeth.

I like my teeth. Don't get hit in the face, Yuzuha.

They split up on me and decided to go for a two-front attack. Classical strategy. This is where Itachi's weapon-spamming idea will flourish.

Fuck it, I flung the nunchakus at them and unsealed as many Uchiha-crested kunai as I could and started tossing them at them. They parried most of them, but that was fine by me. Some of them had explosion seals etched into them, others were the kunai I used to teleport places and some were total duds, meant to look like explosives, but weren't and still others were regular old kunai. It would be difficult for them to take a minute to dissect which ones are which if I'm continuously wailing on them.

When a bunch of random ones exploded around me, I blocked the flames with my chakra-chain shield and smirked as they jumped backwards towards the wall, where there weren't any weapons strewn about.

That's right, boys. I am _not_ afraid of my own explosives. I cackled, proud of the minefield I turned the field into.

Come and get me bitches, if you dare.

"Earth-style: earth wave jutsu!" The man on my right pressed his fingers into a hand seal.

 _Fuck_.

The ground beneath us shifted up and down as if it were water. Like dirt on a picnic blanket, my weapons were shaken off and tossed to the other half of the field while I jumped as high up as I could, not daring to get swallowed up in the nightmare below.

I didn't make my trip into the air a waste. I unsealed and tossed four kunai, then teleported to one of the random kunai strewn about to dodge a sick lightning bolt that would have surely killed me had I not sensed it coming.

Lightning and earth. They were powerful and fucking scary jutsu. I've seen Mira-sensei bury people alive with earth jutsu, and I've seen Yusuke cook people alive with lightning. Daunting, yes, but there's a hole in their strategy. The two techniques can't be used against me at the exact same time. Lightning negates earth and renders it useless and this lightning guy is no sharingan wielder. No doubt, his focus has to be insane to keep up his techniques, especially if he doesn't want to interfere with his comrade's attacks.

I'll take him out first, then his friend.

I unsealed one fan, teleported again and then started throwing kunai of all different kinds into the concrete of the curved wall. They could fuck with the earth, but they couldn't fuck with the wall, not unless they wanted to get an earful from jii-chan.

I ran across the top of the wall, dropping and embedding different kinds of kunai into it. While I did that I either blasted away shuriken with wind from my fan, or set off a dormant exploding kunai here or there to keep them on their toes.

When I was done dropping knives, the real fun began. I dodged lightning and weapons of all kinds while flashing to different parts of the wall, keeping myself above their heads. They did their best to push me back, but I was too fast and too random for them.

It didn't take them long to start throwing rocks and knives at the teleportation kunai on the wall, but while I flashed back and forth, I made sure to drop more kunai onto the edges of the field, just before they could turn to face me and catch me doing it. Those were more teleportation kunai and dormant explosives. If they noticed me expanding my territory, they didn't look it.

I set off some of the exploding kunai on top of the wall and watched as it crumbled away, hurling chunks of rock everywhere until I exploded so many of them that my two opponents had no choice but to stick closer to the center of the field to avoid getting pelted by shit around the edges.

Would you believe those motherfuckers had the audacity to shoot random bolts of lightning and chunks of rock and shuriken at my feet!? But most of the wall and the seats were destroyed so, fuck it, whatever, right?

At least I had the two of them where I needed them.

I started to set off the exploding kunai I had "secretly" dropped earlier, but lightning-guy surprised everyone by charging through one of the explosions.

He was done fucking around at this long-distance game we were playing. He came at me, fists and feet flying, hot embers from my explosions burning tiny holes into his pristine, white vest.

I freaked at his aberrant move and parried his attacks, dropping to the dirt below and dodging a wave of earth from his friend while trying to stay alive.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck.

I tossed blades of wind at earth-guy while spinning out of the way of lightning-guy's club.

Yes, you got that right, his _club_.

He pulled a legit, spiked club off his back and swung it at me as if it weighed less than half of what I know it does. He was a muscly dude, yeah, but that kind of thing was still a shock to see.

They started to close in on me. Little by little, they were gaining ground while keeping me on my toes.

It didn't matter how many shuriken I unsealed, or how much wind I tried to attack and defend with. They always found a way to avoid my attacks and keep me busy with their own while they inched ever closer.

It's time to use _it_. This is gonna hurt like hell, though.

I pretended to falter, just for a second, and in that second I took a vicious shot to the ribs with lightning-guy's club. I reinforced my skin with my chakra-chain shield so I wouldn't get impaled on its spikes, but I was still sent flying across the ground and scraping across all the pointy, sharp weapons I dropped earlier.

As I skidded through the dirt, I unsealed and dropped _all_ , and I mean _every single one_ of my smoke bombs. And there were like two hundred that I think we sealed up, of all different kinds of sizes too.

I could barely fucking breathe as I climbed to my feet and jumped to the other side of the field while the two of them coughed underneath their masks.

I prayed that neither of them had a handy wind jutsu, and after waiting a second, I realized that I was in the clear. I unsealed a black bandana and tied the thing tightly around my eyes, then prepared for war as their bodies became clearer in my mind than they were with my eyes open.

They were huddled together, back to back, waiting and ready for an attack from anywhere. There was so much smoke, they couldn't jump high enough over it and couldn't see a damn thing through it and it was potent enough to hang there just long enough for me to throw off my haori and then unseal _it_.

 _It_ was a double, stacked fuuma shuriken. The two separate blades were connected at the center and stacked on top of one another to make one. On its blades were seals, and those seals would catch fire once my chakra touched them, and thanks to the chakra Itachi pumped into the seals, the flames would continue to burn for an extended time.

With a wind jutsu, I began to spin both blades. The smoke around me began to swirl, but it was so heavy the two anbu weren't aware of it just yet. Once they realized what was happening, it would already be too late.

Heh heh heh…

I caressed the seals on the blades with my chakra and the double fuuma shuriken lit up like every pyro-maniac's wet dream, mixing with the wind around it to create a thick, spinning disk of fiery death. It was like canon Naruto's rasenshuriken, but less explosive and less cool, but just as surprising. I spun that shit until the smoke vented upwards and started to clear.

When they noticed my shadow through the remaining smoke, I threw it, disturbing the air around the field and clearing the rest of the smoke away. They jumped apart, just as I expected them to, and I pulled the two blades apart, just like I planned to.

They didn't realize I was tricking them, and in that infinitesimal half-second of time that their brains still thought that they had safely dodged my spinning flame-circle of hellfire, I used the ninja wires attached to the two separate blades to separate them and then control their trajectory.

I whipped those fuckers at each of them and had them running for their safety across the field. Heh, the field that still had dormant explosives littered all over the place.

The second they dodged my discs, the explosives—all of them—went off. There were so many of them, some of them tiny enough to be disguised as pebbles with a pathetic, unnoticeable genjutsu that the whole fuckin field turned into a bright flash of white light. I dropped my hold on the wires controlling my hell-disc and then encased myself entirely in my shield, turning it into a huge golden dome around me. The shield wasn't perfect and some fire still licked at my ankles, arms and face. I bit my knuckle to continuously heal myself as I was being singed.

When all the continuous, earth-shaking booms ceased exactly seventeen seconds later, I dispersed my shield and took my teeth off of my index finger.

I stood proudly with a straight back, because they had retreated so far up into the seating area They almost fled through the circular cut-out in the ceiling.

I untied my bandana and surveyed the damage.

The place was fucking destroyed.

Smoke, small fires and debris littered the place. Like, I'm saying you can't even take a step without almost stabbing a hole through your sandal with either a weapon or a jagged rock or burning yourself on some fire. The wall around the test zone was no longer a wall as much as it was the occasional pointed slab of concrete, standing dismally amongst the destruction like a tombstone.

Yep, RIP stadium. RIP Yuzuha's paychecks for the next ten or twenty missions because _someone_ is going to have to pay for this.

Whatever, it was worth it. I stood there in my cropped, open-back, choke-collar undershirt, feeling exposed, but proud. I had used up almost all the seals Itachi and I had worked on. The seals on my stomach, lower back, shoulders, arms, legs and collarbones were empty, including the huge seal on my back that housed my demon-disc of hellfire.

Several elderly coughs reached my ears. Crusty old guy and crusty cranky lady were _not_ pleased with the amount of dust and smoke flowing into their lungs right now. I tried hard not to smirk, but the high the victory and drawn-out battle had given me _begged_ me to do it. I wanted them to know that they had gravely underestimated me, but I kept myself in check. They'd realize it on their own. If I leered at them now, they'd stomp their feet and I wouldn't get my title.

"Uzumaku Yuzuha." Jii-chan's voice was like a gong that exorcised all the chaos around everyone. The coughing stopped, the dust settled and the air cleared as if to make room for his declaration.

Danzo lifted a bandaged arm to drop something into jii-chan's palm. It shined in the light of the sun as he threw it down at me. I caught it with a slap when it hit my palm, and when I looked down, it was an official, golden seal, the kind used to decorate the wax that kept a scroll or letter shut. I looked at its bottom and found an imprint of the Uzumaki swirl on it.

A slow smile spread across my face as my heart leapt into my throat.

"With this golden seal, you are officially the first Uzumaki clan head in Konoha history."

Hah.

 _Hah!_

I told you so! I said I'd one day become the youngest clan head when I got here and _boom_ motherfucker, one goal down! Now watch me bask in my success _muahahahahahahahahaha_!

Of course, I didn't let any of those thoughts show on my face. I bowed respectfully, like a good girl, tied the bandana around my wrist and left the rubble behind me to go giggle like a little girl in my apartment as I unsealed the remaining weapons in my body and washed all the ink off my skin.

I rested my forehead against the cold, cracked tiles of my bathroom shower and finally took a huge breath in, held it, and then released it, still shaking from the excitement of before. Hot water dripped over my tense shoulders and dirty face. The high of victory was beginning to wane and reality was beginning to settle in.

More power means more responsibility which means so much more care. There were eyes on me before, but now those eyes will be scrutinizing me so much more. The moment after I apologize to Fugaku-sama and fork up every dime I've saved since coming here to replace all the weapons I destroyed, my real work will begin.

I'm one step closer to Danzo. One step closer to his throat, or gaining evidence of his secret machinations, whichever one comes first.

Just you wait, fucker. I'm catching up to you and one day, I'll snuff out your tainted soul.

 _Failure is not an option_.

* * *

"And?" Danzo refrained from crossing his arms, opting to keep his palms on his cane. Hiruzen continued staring out his window at the night sky and glowing lights of the village. The discussions after the spectacle from earlier were almost as long as the day felt. He wanted to go home, but he knew he wouldn't sleep well if he didn't have this conversation.

"And my claim is no lie. There _is_ an Uzumaki girl, from Kusagakure, looking to meet her remaining kin here. Had I not been sure that some remnants of the clan remained and wanted to flourish in Konoha, I would not have allowed Uzumaki-san such a great leap. I am in the process of making arrangements with Kusakage-dono."

A jinchuuriki as a clan head of Konoha. What a _joke_. The girl is insubordinate, brash, and overconfident. Such a voice should not be heard in any form of government, let alone Konoha's council of clans.

And what was this about letting outsiders into the village and making _arrangements_ with another kage? It's as if the way the Kiri argument ended somehow changed the way the world has been the last five hundred years. Where on earth is Hiruzen's sanity?

"Arrangements," Danzo repeated. If Hiruzen had nothing to hide, he'd elaborate.

"Yes, arrangements. Is there something I should be aware of regarding Kusagakure, or are they the war-torn little village representing the war-torn little Land of Grass hoping to find some peace that we think they are?"

There was a challenge in his tone that he tried to hide, but ultimately failed. He was so easy to read Danzo almost forgot to keep the smile off his face. Hiruzen _is_ hiding something. There _is_ a plan brewing somewhere in his mind. Now, what is it?

"Just reports that their kage is quite young, though his leadership is ironclad. This is the first time Kusa has ever had a noteworthy leader. I do not believe I need to tell you to hide a knife behind every lush blade of grass in this village. Any news about the snake?"

 _That_ was a sensitive topic, one both he and Hiruzen had cause to be concerned with. Danzo had dispatched several of his units to aid in Orochimaru's escape from the forest of death. Their collective plan had failed and now that the Uchiha boy has escaped the snake's fangs, Danzo wouldn't get a report on those experiments. If Orochimaru got away, Danzo's secrets were safe. If not, well…

"He's long gone. I've dispatched Shisui, but even he can't find a trace of him."

"Such a shame. We could have gotten valuable information from his corpse."

"He was once my precious student."

"Your sentimentalities will get you killed one day."

"Perhaps."

"I will not leave without telling you that you've made a grave mistake today. That girl is nowhere near prepared to be a leader. And I will ask you once more to tell me what your plans are."

Hiruzen turned in his chair and smiled at Danzo in the moonlight. "You should have more faith in the future, Danzo."

 _Faith_? The word tasted disgusting in his mind. _Faith_ didn't keep their enemies at bay. _Faith_ wasn't a fly on everyone's wall, listening for the smallest whisper of rebellion, or attack. _Faith_ didn't keep their shinobi alive in battle. _Faith_ didn't make Konoha the behemoth it stands today.

"The girl is a loose cannon. She's been locked in a maximum security prison cell. What makes you think the villagers will welcome her position on government with open arms? Do you think they'll smile and nod without argument while she walks into the council hall on that day?"

"I don't think they know enough to protest. Whether they're comfortable with her there or not, they do trust the judgment of the other clan heads and myself. Things will work out."

"You haven't answered my question." He would have to try a different, more direct tactic.

"Your demand, you mean?"

"It was a question."

Hiruzen chuckled. "I have no _plans_ , other than to help a Konoha ember flourish into a proud fire."

 _Liar_.

"Mn, and do you plan on doing that with an uchiwa?"

Danzo was the furthest thing from a fool. Of course whatever Hiruzen was planning with that girl involved the Uchiha. His support of the clan after the Kyuubi disaster was sickening. They were instrumental in the attack and Hiruzen was coddling them and patting their heads like they weren't dirty backstabbers. Their eyes would be much more useful embedded in his right arm than in the living skulls of those traitorous leeches.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I surely hope you aren't forcing a pro-Uchiha voice into government and into making decisions far too important for that voice to meddle in."

Hiruzen's expression became hard.

"I would never endanger the balance of power in this village. Perhaps Uzumaki Yuzuha _is_ on good terms with the Uchiha; you are not wrong in your line of thinking, however, the Uzumaki clan will be growing from this moment on and it needs a leader and the only one capable of that is Yuzuha. Her position is necessary, and I believe her judgments to be logical enough to look past her ties to the Uchiha. If you don't believe me, I implore you to take a thorough look at her written mission reports. You may find much of yourself and your own words in her handwriting."

Oh?

"Perhaps I will."

Danzo looked at Hiruzen and watched him stare back. It was so silent Danzo could have heard the dust mites stirring.

"I will send word the moment Uchiha Shisui's report comes in."

It was as good a closing statement as any. Danzo nodded in response.

"Try not to stay here all night."

He took the long, scenic route back to his home, filling in the large holes of information he couldn't pull out of his old friend. After some debating he came to a few conclusions, but settled on one that made the most sense:

There will be an arranged marriage between Uchiha Itachi and Uzumaki Yuzuha. It made the most sese. Once that girl rose to proper leadership and married the Uchiha heir there would be no one left to question the integrity of the clan and no one left to question their involvement on _that_ night, because, why oh why would the clan ever do anything to betray the village? They love it so much they accepted an Uzumaki girl into their family! Look! Finally, a proper end to the Uchiha-Senju conflict! How _romantic_.

Disgusting.

The marriage will not be soon. Both parties need more experience before a union like that can make any sort of political or governmental impact. By then, Danzo will find a way to tear the two apart.

Such a union _cannot_ be allowed.

* * *

 **THIS BOLDED SECTION IS THE ITAYUZU VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER!**

"How long do you think it'll take her to wake up?"

Sasuke had found cover under a large section of raised tree roots where Naruto and Sakura could rest.

Their only medic was out with a head injury, he was dangerously low on chakra, and Naruto had an injured back. In other words, their situation _sucked_. Not only that, but their only scroll had been burned to ashes and now, they'd have to work twice as hard to get the scrolls they needed to pass the test.

This _really_ sucks.

Naruto turned to look at Sakura from his supine position next to her and frowned with worry.

"I don't know," Sasuke finally answered, adjusting the cold, damp cloth on her forehead, "but when she does, I'm going to try to learn that healing jutsu she uses. There's a chance she'll be coherent enough to show it to me. Hopefully from there I can copy it and use it on her. It's the best plan I have so far." When he turned back to Naruto, the blonde grinned like the sun at high noon. Sasuke continued, "It's how Utau-nee learned." He looked down at his palms against his filthy, white shorts. "God damn it," he growled and squeezed his fists together, "If I had just been faster, even a little bit, she'd be okay."

"It happens. We'll make it through this test and look back when we're ultra-strong, super-cool, elite ninjas and laugh about how we got beat up by that Orochimaru guy. You'll see." Naruto's smile didn't fade.

The optimism helped, but Sasuke was a realist. It did nothing to change their situation. Sakura's brain might be bleeding, and neither he nor Naruto could do anything about it. She might _die_.

"If I had just been faster," he murmured under his breath.

 _If I just had the time to throw a kunai, a shoe, spit at his face, anything! I'm sorry, Sakura. I was right there and I failed you. Some "Uchiha genius" I am. Nii-san would never have let something like this happen._

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Stop it with the face, already!" he growled in frustration. "We're gonna make it out of here, all of us."

Right then, Sakura stirred, a small, pained groan escaping her throat. Sasuke almost hurt his neck turning back to her so quickly.

Naruto laughed. "See! I told you!"

"Sakura," Sasuke leaned down and pushed her hair away from her face, "are you okay?"

Her eyes focused on them, but he could tell that she was confused.

"Sa…suke?"

The memories must have hit her then, because she tried to fly into a seated position, but Sasuke held her against the ground by her shoulders.

"Where's Naruto!" she demanded to his face, but then her fierce expression crumpled. "I'm so dizzy… everything is moving weird, even your face." She looked nauseous.

"I'm right here, Sakura-chan," Naruto's voice was soft and confident, but he was just about as busted up as she was. Sakura took a breath to say something, but her eyes squeezed shut.

"He must have hit you hard enough to shake your inner ear," Sasuke murmured, but then shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Sakura, listen to me," he activated his sharingan, "I need you to show me the healing jutsu you use."

She looked at him confused, but as her eyes searched his face he saw her connecting the dots.

"You're planning to learn, right here and now, how to heal?"

Sasuke leaned away from her, taking his hands off her shoulders. "I'm going to try. It's the only plan we have. You and Naruto can't even move and that guy burned our scroll. If we want to pass this test, we need to work twice as hard and I can't do that alone."

"What do you mean, ' _that guy'_?"

That's right, she was knocked out before he showed his true colors.

"The woman turned out to be a man in disguise, it's a long story. Just stop asking questions and do it so I can copy it!" he snapped, because who knew if she was going to pass out again or not. Her eyes weren't the clearest and she was pale as death.

"Alright, alright. Ready?"

"Mn." He narrowed all his concentration on the two palms she brought together and held up to his face. They began to glow green and he watched how her chakra ebbed and flowed to make such a technique possible. She held on for a little longer before her arms dropped.

"Sorry, I'm really dizzy." She brought a hand up to the side of her head and hissed when her fingers touched her bruised temple.

"Alright. I think I got it."

He moved over to Naruto first.

"Eh!? Me first? I don't wanna be your guinea pig, go find, I don't know, something else to heal or something!" He tried to get up and run, but his injuries wouldn't let him. His face crumpled as his body jerked in reaction to his pain and he obediently laid down, eyeing Sasuke nervously.

"Your injury is less serious so deal with it. Now shut up so I can concentrate."

Naruto and Sakura didn't breathe a word as he took a deep breath in, then out, trying to summon his chakra to his palms and then hold it there. His mind knew exactly how to do it, step by step, but his chakra wasn't able to do what was necessary. He growled to chase away the dissonance and took a deep breath to try again.

"I don't know if this will help, but Uta-nee told me to imagine my chakra as a river and to narrow the river into a trickle before I release it. You have a lot of chakra, Sasuke, so it might take you some time, but it's a jutsu that I think anyone can learn with a little effort."

He took her words into consideration and closed his eyes, focusing on how his chakra moved instead of the end result he wanted. This was the first time he'd have to put effort into learning a jutsu, and it was horrible. How did Naruto do it every day with a smile?

To Sasuke, his chakra was like his skin, something that was always there and ready to use without him really needing to focus on it. It was weird to have to mess with its flow and adjust it. He focused on seeping it into his arms, doing that thing that Sakura's chakra did right before it left her body, and finally, trying to hold it there, right in the center of his palms.

"He's doing it!" Naruto gasped in surprise, and broke his concentration. When Sasuke opened his eyes, he made sure his glare made Naruto's face turn blue with fear.

"Try it again," Sakura instructed with confidence in her tone. He briefly thought that she'd make a good teacher before he found success again, the green glow flowing around his hands. It caused him pain to refine his chakra in such a way, but he held the flow and slowly placed his hands over Naruto.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, how come you can't just heal yourself-ttebayo?"

 _Shut up, idiot. I'm not medic of the year, here. I need to concentrate._

"You need to use hand seals for that and I don't know them yet. Yondaime-sama could just do it without them. I want to be able to do that one day."

"How is it feeling?" Sasuke asked through gritted teeth, his sweat beading around his neck and hairline. He didn't know if he was getting dizzy or if his body was shaking from the effort and trauma.

"I don't know, let me try to move something."

Sasuke could feel Naruto moving and shuddered. It was like his chakra was being pulled in sync with Naruto's motions. Every twitch of Naruto's fingers or tilt of his head tugged at something fundamental within Sasuke and it felt so utterly invasive the only word Sasuke could think of to describe it would be, " _disgusting_." He didn't know how Sakura sat there and healed them so many times if it felt like that to do it.

 _Maybe I just suck at it._

"Hey, look! I did a crunch!" He sat up too fast and Sasuke almost threw up with the motion. "I think I'm good." he announced and held his thumb up.

Sasuke exhaled and released his "hold" on Naruto. He scooted next to Sakura, wondering how her chakra would feel against his. There was something intimate about healing. It was no wonder that medics fell in love with some of their patients. He felt his face heat up as he hovered his hands over Sakura's forehead.

"If anything feels weird, you tell me," he warned, "This is your head I'm working on, remember."

"I'll let you know," she murmured back and took a breath to relax her body.

Sasuke closed his eyes and heard Naruto scoot next to her. He felt the blonde's eyes on him. Healing Naruto had made him so much more aware of him and his presence.

With another steadying breath, Sasuke shoved himself back into the pain, sweat dripping down his spine as he concentrated on controlling his chakra. When it brushed against hers, his heart started pounding.

 _Concentrate, idiot_.

He felt every one of her breaths, every tremor that made her tremble in agony next to him. She was putting up a decent front if she could keep her face so straight while being in such a poor condition. He almost felt her stomach churning, and wondered if she could see past his own façade when he was injured. He didn't know how long his own body ached for as he allowed his thoughts to consume him. He had gone almost into a meditative state, needing the unbreakable concentration not only to keep the energy swirling at his palms, but to also stay strong against the pins and needles that seemed to pierce every single one of his pores.

—suke?"

 _What?_

"Sasuke?" This time he heard her voice. "I'm okay. I've been okay for the last minute or so. Are you okay?" He tried hard to disengage from the technique slowly. Somehow, he knew that if he just dropped it, it would hurt twice as much. "Sasuke?"

"I heard you, just give me a second. Everything hurts." He couldn't spare the effort to put any bite in his tone. It wasn't until he felt the rush of his energy returning to its natural state that he dropped his arms and exhaled, opening his eyes to two smiling faces, both proud of his accomplishment.

"That was _awesome_!" Naruto cheered and gave him a thumbs-up.

"You got it almost as fast as I did when I first tried." For Sakura, that was a complement.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, now let me see your hands. Hold them out," she ordered in her no-nonsense tone and adjusted herself until her legs were folded beneath her.

Confused, Sasuke looked down at his palms and cringed from what he saw there. Huge blisters decorated the palms of his hands, filled with disgusting yellow liquid. It didn't start to smart or sting until he looked at it. Cringing, he watched as she pulled his hands into her lap by his wrists.

"I've seen burns from poor usage of chakra before, but this is _bad_. How hard did you have to struggle keeping your chakra there, at that 'point'?"

"Hard," he replied and looked her square in the face. She blinked, frowned and then looked around until her eyes landed on Naruto and she smiled.

 _Why don't you smile at me like that?_

He quashed the idiotic thought. What was he getting jealous about anyway? Sakura always had a good relationship with Naruto, unlike with himself.

"Naruto, can you please pass me my pack?"

"Sure thing," Naruto grabbed it and handed it to her, "but, some stuff might be missing from it. Orochi-teme kind of threw some stuff out of it."

Her eyes narrowed as she flicked it open and searched its contents.

"You said he burned the scroll, Sasuke?" She looked up at him with a lost sort of expression. He nodded solemnly. In response, she shook her head of short, pink, hair and continued rummaging. "Most of the medical stuff is gone. I have some bandages and ointment, but— ah! This'll do." She pulled out a single senbon with a malicious grin, and then turned the frightening expression on him. "This is gonna hurt a bit." He took a breath to protest, but she had already stabbed one of the biggest blisters on his palm.

"R-agh!" he hissed and tried to pull his tired arm away from her but she wasn't having it. She gripped his wrist so hard he was sure he'd get bruises and kept the back of his hand flat against the warmth of her thigh as the fluid beneath his skin drained onto the ground next to them.

"Just two more times, promise. Grit your teeth and bear it." She cleared her throat and then, "One… two! Okay, this hand's done. Let me see the other one." Sasuke swallowed, but let her do what she had to. Popping and draining the blisters made his palms feel better, and when she started to heal the toasted skin beneath the drained blisters he was finally able to relax his tense muscles. Eventually, she was done, and he peeled the old skin off his hands, inspecting the fresh, pink skin beneath it.

"Don't mess with it too much. Here, give them to me one more time." She slathered some ointment on his palms to keep them moisturized and then wrapped them in bandages. When she was done, she sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"How much time did we lose?" she asked Naruto, and Sasuke could tell she expected to hear the worst.

"It's sun-down, so… like a whole day, basically, I think." Naruto caught Sasuke's eyes, asking for clarification. When Sasuke nodded, Naruto turned his attention back to Sakura.

She smiled brightly. "Okay good! That's not as bad as I thought! Let's go find food and water and hunker down for the night. Did you find this place, Sasuke? It's a really good hiding spot."

He shrugged and looked away. "I could've done better, but I didn't have time."

"Aw, look at Sasuke trying to be cool!" Naruto grabbed his cheek between his fingers and Sasuke slapped his hand away, glaring at him.

"You want me to re-injure that back for you!?" he threatened, "Because I can break it this time!"

Sakura's responding laugh put a smile on both their faces.

 _At least we're all okay_.

* * *

"You're going to have to take that off," Itachi informed gravely.

"W-Why can't I just do it myself!? Isn't there a mirror somewhere here?" I panicked, whipping my head around just incase I _did_ miss a mirror amongst the myriad of weapons in the room.

Itachi gave me a hard look. After we entered the armory, it didn't take long for us to realize that I was going to take more than what we could discreetly move to my apartment. We had developed a strategy centered solely around spamming the absolute shit out of my opponents with kunai, shuriken and other projectiles.

So we returned the night before my test and got to work. He met me at the entrance to the shrine with two sets of paintbrushes of varying sizes, a container of weather-resistant ninja ink, and and container of clear, flexible lacquer. Then we went into the war-room and got to work.

He started to paint seals onto my legs while I started on my left arm. Two hours later, I lifted the bottom of my haori at some point so he could paint my stomach and sides, but after we took care of my elbows and collarbones, it came time to paint my entire back, and my top was more than in the way.

I busied myself with dipping another brush in lacquer and painting the clear gloss over the seals he had diligently drawn on my legs, just to avoid the intensity in his dark eyes. He was handsome enough in the orange and yellow glow of the room without telling me to take my clothes off like it's no big deal.

I pointed downwards at my skin with my brush. "I still have to finish the insides of my legs," I stalled, looking for reasons to avoid painting my back.

He sighed. "The one on your back is the important one. It must be done. Carefully."

It _was_ the important one. It _did_ need to be done. Carefully. But still…

"Maybe we should forget it?" I wasn't about to get undressed in front of him.

How would _you_ feel getting undressed in front of _the_ Uchiha Itachi!? Was I feeling a little self-conscious? No, I look good, thankyouverymuch. It's just, he's my favorite character and one of my closest friends. I didn't want to seem too eager and God forbid things got awkward, I didn't want this situation to follow us out of this room.

"Yuzu _ha."_ I couldn't blame him for being annoyed. He's doing most of the work, his fingers and back must ache and he must want to go home already.

But then, with a blush he said, "I won't—

I held my hand up in front of his face. His cheeks were pink under the warm glow of the lit sconces and I looked away. It's one thing to hear him vow that he won't look any further, but another to realize that both he and I had imagined him doing that when he said it.

"I know," I paused to swallow, "Just finish this seal." I waved a hand around my neck area.

His eyes dropped to his artwork across my right collarbone. He tugged the cloth of my haori to the side to make himself some room and then tickled my skin with a few, fine strokes. Afterwards, he gently pushed my chin away with his index finger so he could fan his hand in front of my skin without threatening my face. He grew impatient seconds later and blew on the paint, causing goosebumps to roll over the whole right half of my body.

He chuckled at me, pointed at my neck and asked, "Why only on the right?" Then, he jabbed a clean brush near the left side of my neck and laughed before I could stop him. That time I only got goosebumps on the left side of my body.

"Hey stop it!" I wined and batted at his brush while he looked amused, "that's not funny! Stop p—

 _Playing with me?_

Maybe the idea of taking my clothes off in front of a drop-dead-gorgeous guy put my head in the gutter a little, but it would put yours there too if you saw him the way I was seeing him, if you were as close to him as I am now.

The orange light warmed his skin, reflected in the endless ebony of his eyes, and defined the masculine features of his face. He was lean and long and he had grown up so much since we stopped spending most of our time together.

It's impossible for me to not be attracted to him. Impossible.

Look what you're doing to me, Itachi! Rrragh! I wanted to punch myself in the head. Stop thinking that way, Yuzuha! Still, my heart hammered away in my chest—traitorous little bitch.

He gave me a look, urging me to finish my sentence but I shook my head. "Never mind, just sit behind me. If I don't keep working on what you finished painting, we'll be here all night."

He nodded, tossing his long ponytail over his shoulder and scooting across the floor on his knees 'till he was behind me. I heard fabric rustling, and knew he was probably folding his legs so he'd be more comfortable. He reached around me, his arm brushing mine as he pulled the ink and paintbrushes closer to himself. His bangs tickled my arm as he righted himself and started to organize the brushes, probably to busy himself while I did my thing.

I wiggled my arms so the rolled-up sleeves of my white haori fell back down, and left my hand hovering above the red sash holding my top together. I was a little excited, not gonna lie. In a dumb teenagery kind of way, it was a little bit of a thrill to be doing something so personal. I had never undressed in front of a guy in this world.

Well, there's a first time for everything.

I grabbed the knot and undid it after a few seconds of struggling, pulling it away from my waist with my left hand and letting it flutter to the floor.

Jesus Christ I hope my lower back isn't sweaty.

Pleasedon'tbesweatypleasedon'tbesweatypleasedon'tbesweaty!

He was as silent as death, but his presence was so apparent to me I almost saw him behind me as if I had the Byakugan. The rushing river that was his chakra was so refreshing for my mind to taste and I knew— I just _knew_ exactly where his eyes were looking. Their gaze was like a ghost's feathery touch across my shoulders.

I let the haori slide off my shoulders and down my back to the floor between us. I freaked a little because _God_ that must have looked so _not PG_ and I didn't want him getting the wrong idea about me. I didn't want him to think I was trying something.

I'm not, damn it!

I worked my arms out of the sleeves and Itachi was pulling the fabric away before I could even think of struggling to slide it out from the small space between his crossed shins and my bottom. My heart leapt. When was the last time a man had pulled my clothes off? If I closed my eyes, I could remember Tommy's rough fingertips against the curve of my waist.

Is that what Itachi's fingers would feel like against seldom-exposed skin like that?

I was left in just the mesh bra I wore beneath my clothes to train. It wasn't in the least bit sexy, so I felt safe until I realized that, for that huge-ass seal to fit, I would need all the space I could offer. Plus there were going to be seals at the base of my neck and across the tops of my shoulders.

Well, fuck it.

I sucked it up and pulled the short zipper in front of me down and took it off the same way I took my haori off.

Don'tthinkaboutitDon'tthinkaboutit _Don'tthinkaboutit!_

"You didn't have to take that off."

Damn you and your jokes, Itachi! Stop trying to fluster me!

"Yeah, yeah, hah-hah. Even if I could've left it on, it's too late now." I shrugged confidently, as if my naked boobs _weren't_ out. I could pull this off. It can't be awkward if I don't make it awkward, right?

I confidently picked up the brush I had set aside on the floor, dipped it into the small container of clear lacquer, and then painted over the ink on my kneecaps to protect it from the elements. I tried to keep my hand steady and slow, just to show that I was not nervous whatsoever. Like at all.

Yep. Not nervous. At. All.

I flinched when he brushed the hair off my neck. His fingers were gentle and warm and my stomach flipped. I almost tossed a hand at my navel to physically try to stop it.

"Sorry," he softly apologized, the warmth of his breath sending a tingle down to the base of my spine. I fought to keep from arching my back in response.

God _damn it_.

"It's alright," I replied as I felt the chill of cold ink roll onto the base of my neck. I'm surprised it didn't hiss and steam on contact with my skin. I'm blushing so hard I'm sure my blood is boiling and cooking the skin above it.

"Have you thought of where you want to seal everything?" His question filled the silence and chased away that invisible, unspoken tension between us.

"I was thinking about putting my bow in the seal you're painting now," I replied. "I like the idea of mixing kunai and shuriken on my thighs and the fans are _totally_ going on the insides of my wrists. I won't even have to wear my arm-warmers." Not gonna lie, I was excited for that.

"Mn, I like that idea." I heard the smile in his voice and for whatever reason, knowing he was at ease put me at ease. I could feel the tense muscles in my shoulders unraveling.

Come on, Yuzuha. This is Itachi. He's the safest person to be in a room with, not just physically, but mentally too. Surprising huh? The one man that can crush my mind with just a glance is the person I trust most with personal things like this. In all the years I've known him, Itachi has always been a good listener, a good secret keeper and a great friend. He never judged me when I failed and he never laughed when I spoke my mind. I shouldn't be this bashful around him. We're friends, right? Just friends.

So why am I still having a freak-out?

The strokes of his brush were gentle against my skin, but purposeful. He worked carefully, dragging it up and down my skin in curving lines, as if he were writing on paper instead of skin. My mind followed the pattern he was drawing based on my sense of touch, and it gave me something to focus on in the deafening silence that followed.

"Hey, Itachi?"

It's time to pull myself together and get some answers.

"Hm?" He switched to a finer-tipped brush to paint the tiny sealing patterns that connected the three seals on my neck. He didn't need to do that, technically speaking, but shit, it looked cool, so why not?

"What happens if I don't pass?"

* * *

He smiled to himself, because he knew what she was trying with him. Information was Yuzuha's lifeblood, and somewhere inside, he felt a thrill at keeping his ideas from her, teasing her. His sharingan carefully memorized the sloping curves of her shoulders, and his fingertips felt hot against her scalp as he held her hair out of the way of his brush. His heart was pounding harder than it did during battle and he had to remind himself to talk. If he was too quiet, she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye after this night. This intimate tension between them would never dissipate. He had to act as normal as possible.

He was flattered that she trusted him with her dignity, though, considering his slipping focus, he somewhat regretted his decision. Perhaps it would have been smarter to let one of her clones do the painting.

Why hadn't either of them suggested that? Did they both _want_ to be in this tense situation? If they wanted to avoid something like this, wouldn't either of them have suggested the usage of shadow clones?

What they were doing was dangerous, in a way. If he leaned too far over, if she turned just a little bit, he'd _see_ parts of her that he wasn't sure she had ever shown to another person before.

Itachi himself had gone on enough dirty missions to not be shy around a woman's body, but as far as he knew, Yuzuha's missions were mostly high-profile team escorts and rescues, retrievals, sabotages, sometimes deliveries through unstable border-villages, and very rarely, assassinations. She didn't seem to pay any of the males in their age group any attention, so he concluded to the best of his logical ability that she had never ventured in _that_ direction before.

Somewhere deep in his being, he felt like a monster. If he really wanted, he could make her shudder, could make her whisper his name over and over, could even make her want him as much as he wanted her, if he felt particularly manipulative. Thinking so made him feel like a primitive beast. He knew that _none_ of those thoughts would have ever crossed his mind if he wasn't throbbing as badly as he was between his legs, which brought him back to wondering why on earth they allowed such a situation to occur between them. Round and round his thoughts churned and each time they came full-circle and restarted, he felt more and more foolish.

"You don't pass," he replied simply, and if he wasn't carefully painting, he'd have shrugged, too. She stayed quiet, thinking of her next move.

He wanted to tell her the reason why he needed her to win, but it was far too early to reveal anything, and knowing her attitude towards the whole idea, he'd scare her away. His mother pushed him every day to say something, to at least prepare her for what was to come, but every day, he chose to keep quiet. He didn't know if he feared the potential rejection that could happen consequently, or if he simply didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around him.

Perhaps both?

He drew a perfect swirl right between the dimples of her lower back as the memory of his mother's voice echoed in his mind, "She's going to find out eventually. It would be better if she found out from you first."

Of course, his mother was _so_ sure that she would just accept. Even the hokage supported the idea, so how could she say no, right?

Well, his mother didn't know Yuzuha as well as he did, and he knew that she didn't plan on any marriages in her future, especially not any arranged ones. He dragged his brush down her spine, and began drawing the main seal, the one that was going to house _the_ weapon.

"You're not telling me everything."

Ah, so she was going to try a more direct tactic. Perhaps she didn't feel like skirting around topics today.

"No, I'm not," he confirmed and burned the way she breathed under his brushstrokes into his memory. "But believe me, it's not as serious as you think." Only, it was. It was a very serious topic and he was shielding her from it. She would hate him when she found out. "It would make me happy to see you pass."

At least that wasn't a lie. He ached for her to win, to officially prove herself to not only the shinobi of the village, but to his clan. He wanted her to become a legally recognized clan leader, to be an ally to the Uchiha in government— _especially_ as someone from the Uzumaki bloodline, the people who were closest to the first hokage's clan during the warring states era.

If she did accept Itachi's hand, even if it was just for the greater good of the village and nothing more, their union would symbolize the end of the sour history between the Uchiha and the village forever. Yes, it all reeked of politics, so much so that it nauseated him, but it was a wise move suggested by Sandaime-sama.

Itachi had been there during the private meeting between the hokage and his parents. The plan was to raise Yuzuha's status to clan head of the Uzumaki, and then marry her to Itachi as soon as she became more prominent in government. The Third would have given her the official golden seal of the Uzumaki clan and been done with it, but the esteemed Konoha council had refused to honor the notion.

They knew that having someone so close to the hokage on the council of clans was a bad idea. It was another mind that would disagree with the old traditions they clung to. To make it worse, it was also a young mind, one with fresh ideas and methods of accomplishing things. That small possibility of great change scared them pale and they would have killed the idea in its crib if not for the council of clans.

They demanded that their opinion be heard. It was their opportunity to reward Yuzuha's respect and reverence of them, and they took it. She idolized their ability to lead, and they had picked up on that enough to want to help her when she stumbled, Inoichi-san in particular. She might not be ready, Itachi knew that they thought so, but they were willing to help her get there.

Politics aside, Itachi wanted her acceptance simply because he loved her. Although, he had no idea how to tell her, and if he didn't say something before they called her in for _that_ meeting, he'd regret it.

"Okay," she agreed after a time. Her voice was small and soft, as if she had been hypnotized by his artwork on her toned legs.

He hoped to stand next to her one day and call her his wife. The thought made the fingers of his resting hand twitch and he didn't realize his palm was flat against the center of her back as he focused on drawing the tiny little details of the main seal. Her skin was hot to his touch and he wished he could slide his fingers down the rest of her back, caress her more, just to have enough of her in his memory to keep him company on his next extended mission away from home. Since his initiation into anbu, they rarely saw each other. It made him feel hollow.

The fire in the sconces around the room danced seductively and the shadow of an ember jumped across his arm as he worked.

She was more than worthy of the Uchiha clan name.

The clan recognized power and tact above all else and Yuzuha had proven to be skilled in both of those things. She fought like an Uchiha, walked like an Uchiha, carried herself like an Uchiha and strategized like an Uchiha. They would accept her on those grounds alone, if not welcome her with open arms, and if for some reason they were too narrow-minded to accept change, his mother would put them in order.

Though, her methods were subtle. She was already touting Yuzuha around the compound, in the markets, and teaching her tidbits about the clan's beliefs, traditions and culture as well as what his mother's role as matriarch was. She was simultaneously conditioning the clan and preparing Yuzuha for her future position as his wife. It was as cunning as she was charismatic and Itachi was in awe that no one questioned her.

Yuzuha placed her brush down and carefully, stiffly reached over to dip its finer-tipped twin into the lacquer he bought. She fought hard to hide her front, but he had bent low to paint delicate lines around her curves, and he managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of the soft roundness of a breast and the rosy pink of a stiff nipple. His heart leapt into his throat, but he kept his mind focused.

 _I still have time before all of this comes to be. She still needs experience in government and I must pay closer attention to this clan if I want to one day lead it. I can save everyone, I just can't do it alone. I need her._

He admitted that the idea of taking his father's place as clan head repulsed him so much that he was once willing to find a way for Sasuke to take the helm instead. His little brother had many of their father's qualities, and his dedication to the clan was unshakeable. Despite those negatives, he was also reasonable like their mother and Itachi himself. Sasuke was open to change and would make a proper clan head if his father was willing to hold off on retiring for just a while longer.

But Itachi had changed his mind when he realized he could have have Yuzuha leading at his side. He _wanted_ her there at the clan meetings, _wanted_ her watching his back as he worked to save his clan from its own conceit, _wanted_ her at his side if things ever turned sour. She would make the work bearable. He'd work tirelessly with a smile on his face if he could come home to her at the end of the day. It would be worth it.

Perhaps that was how his father felt at the end of a long day?

He straightened his back and stretched his arms over his head, popping his bones with a small groan that bounced across the walls, right as she finished what she was doing.

"Itachi?" she breathed, still in that small tone. She knew that what they were doing was just touching on taboo. Just. Yet she, like himself, didn't say anything about it. She tucked her legs towards her torso, careful not to ruin the ink with her hands as she placed them on her knee caps.

"I need better access to the lower half. Can you lay down?" he spoke after another second of stretching his aching back.

Her head of red hair turned towards her clothes and she reached over, spreading the light haori out on the floor. She crossed her arms and laid down, resting her cheek on her forearms. He positioned himself closer, so much closer that his thigh pleasantly touched her side.

 _Just what am I doing?_

"Are you excited to win?" He was relieved that there wasn't an obvious tightness in his voice. The air between them changed and he could almost feel her smile.

"I've wanted to be a clan head since I was little. It's my second major goal."

Her first goal was to protect her little brother, he knew that much.

"Why a clan head and not the hokage?"

It was a solid question. Most children yearned to be the hokage at that age. Why did she decide on a lower position? If she wanted leadership and importance, why not aim for the highest rank possible?

"Because jii-chan looks really tired all the time. But when I met Inoichi-san, he seemed really happy."

Was it that simple? He chuckled.

"Don't laugh, I'm serious!" she insisted. "I kind of always knew that being hokage wasn't exactly what I wanted to do; it's too direct, y'know? I would want to support the hokage from the background. Ever since jii-chan had me stamp those D-class mission papers the first time, I knew I wanted to help make decisions one day, just, not be the one to implement them. It's just not me."

He was happy that they both thought along the same lines. Yuzuha was in her element when she was behind the scenes, as was he.

"Mn," he agreed aloud, "you'd fit in well in the council of clans."

"Itachi—

She stopped herself short, as if she regretted speaking in the first place. It struck his curiosity, and he rubbed his thumb across one of her dimples, a small brush of encouragement. Intimate, gentle, supportive. He prayed that she took it as an accident, but secretly, he hoped it made her heart pound as much as his own.

"Hm?" He fought to keep his tone even, to keep the tenderness out of his voice as he encouraged her.

"I," she hesitated, but then he saw her shoulders stiffen with determination and fill with confidence. "I think you'd make a great hokage, someday."

His brush stilled above the small of her back. He had never presumed to be _enough_ to fill such a large role. He thought about the idea as he continued painting. He saw her breaths quicken, just a bit, and he knew he was making her anxious. It was a bold thing to say to him, true, but there was nothing wrong with her speaking her mind. If anything, he appreciated that she could be so frank with him, unlike others intimidated by him.

He imagined himself seated at the ancient desk, planning, coordinating, and handling sensitive matters with his own mind and his own hands. His clan would be appeased and perhaps they wouldn't need to try to force Yuzuha into a marriage she may not want.

Did he want that kind of life?

He thought about the blood he washed down the drain every time he completed a mission, envisioned the glassy, vacant eyes of the people he had murdered, yes, _murdered_ , because none of them stood a chance against him. He weighed seeing papers every day against seeing death every day.

Could he sit comfortably while his comrades suffered on the field?

 _Yes_.

His selfish thoughts seduced him.

But if his mind benefitted the village in the end, wasn't it worth it? He was ashamed to admit his eagerness, but the village came first. If he could dive into village affairs directly, make the necessary decisions, it would be worth the guilt over leaving the field behind.

Perhaps Yuzuha was right. Perhaps Itachi's current role was wrong. Did he hate working in the shadows? Was that why he was entranced with the idea of being the head of the village? Why did she think he was the right person for the job? Was he really… _enough_?

"Why?" he finally asked, and she stilled.

"What do you mean, _why_?" There was a slight irritation in her voice. He already knew why, and she knew he knew why. Physically, mentally, and perhaps with a little more experience and leadership, he'd have the necessary skillset. He might just be _enough_.

"Why do you say that?" he pressed, anyway. He wanted to hear her exact thoughts. Perhaps it was selfish, but he needed validation. He needed to hear it from someone as analytical as he.

"You'd be good at it," she replied, frankly, as if it were the most obvious fact in existence. "I spend enough time with jii-chan to know that you have what it takes. I think— I really think that it would make you happy. At the very least, it would make your clan happy, don't you think?"

He paused and waited for the tension to build again.

"I've never seen a 'hokage' application."

She snorted and stifled a laugh. "Stop! You're going to make me make you mess me up!" He held his paint brush away from her skin and smiled as her shoulders shook with laughter.

"Realistically, if a hokage had to be picked at this moment in time, it would fall on Jiraiya-sama to take the position," he reasoned, serious once again.

She remained silent for a moment before responding, "He would refuse it, trust me. Then what?"

"Then the daimyo would choose Hatake-senpai."

"Because he's skilled and has a stainless record and a well-known name, yeah, but what if even he refused?"

"He couldn't refuse. He'd have to take the position."

"Wrong answer," she chastised him, "Right answer: I'd run my mouth on your behalf. Bet me that I won't," she challenged, stiffening her shoulders and preparing for another one of their debates.

He chuckled. "I'm sure you would," he agreed, "though, if it ever comes to that, I'd like to ask you to _not_ break any doors down," he paused in thought, "or scare the daimyo." She _would_ scare the daimyo with her brand of determination.

He lifted his brush again in anticipation of her laughter.

She giggled and said, "You know me so well."

He did.

How could he forget the first time she risked everything to get what she wanted? It was during their first match at the academy, the one that determined whether she would be placed in his class. She had slammed her palm on the dojo door, rattling its hinges and preventing a chunin, someone so far above her rank at the time it was ridiculous, from leaving until she fought her. Until she got what she wanted.

He was sure that if the other senseis in the room hadn't defended her on a technicality, she really would have tried to fight that woman, fruitlessly, if only to prove a point. It was Yuzuha's way; she stuck to her word even if the situation was hopeless. It was inspiring.

"Really, though, Itachi. Think about it."

He remained quiet and a comfortable silence descended on them as he finished up his work, then started gently painting lacquer over the backs of her arms while the rest of the ink dried.

Hokage.

She believed he could do it based on logic and not blatant adoration of him.

 _If it ever comes to that, I hope you will be at my side, helping me lead._

* * *

Just why the _hell_ didn't I think about using a clone!? Was I really _that_ tired from training earlier that I couldn't stop to think for a second about using a clone!?

Stupidstupid _stupid_!

Wait. Hang on a sec.

…Why didn't _he_ think of making me use a clone to paint my back! Why am I here, with him, like _this_!? He… he had _caressed_ me earlier. Itachi, what are you thinking? What am _I_ thinking!? What are _we_ thinking!?

This is _bad_. Bad, bad, _bad_.

Clones. This all would've been okay if we had remembered clones. Jesus Christmas. Okay, I mean, whatever, nothing is happening. It's not like we're naked and like, _connected_ _at the waist_ y'know, but I shouldn't be blurring the clear lines between friendship and…

And what? Attraction? Or is this not as weird as I think it is? Am I overreacting? Am I taking something platonic as something _not_ platonic when it's actually platonic?

Rrragh! Platonic!

This would be okay with Utau, or with Shima, or even with Yusuke, but… Itachi?

 _Itachi_?

I tried to focus on something else. Surely, he realized that he didn't have to paint me himself, right? If that's the case, why is he still painting? And why is his palm on my hip? It feels so nice, a deep dark part of me wants him to run it up my side the rest of the way.

I bit my lip trying to calm my thoughts.

My face is on fire. I'll be surprised if I still have skin on it later. How badly did I miss being touched to be reacting so strongly to him? Or is this all the work of teenaged hormones? Am I overreacting? I'm overreacting.

"Done."

What? Already!?

Just how long have I been quietly freaking out for?

I heard him scoot to his feet and walk across the room. I couldn't feel his eyes on me anymore. He lifted _the_ weapon off its rack on the wall, and carried it over in both of his arms. Despite its size, it was light. He set it down next to my face with a small metallic clang and the absence of his touch was starting to make me feel cold. I watched him weave signs into it, infuse a heap of his chakra into the metal, and then seal it into the seal on my back.

"Be careful putting your clothes back on."

The lacquer we bought was designed to keep face paint from smearing off of a ninja's face. It should be able to protect weather-resistant ink no problem, but I needed this stuff to last through my sleep and into tomorrow. I didn't want to smudge anything, so I left the bra off and replaced my haori, tying it loosely, so we could still seal weapons into my skin. One by one, we sealed weapon after weapon, going over which ones should be where and coming up with different strategies and scenarios. By the time we were done, half the weapons in the room were gone. The room was maybe forty-two percent emptier and our voices were starting to echo back to us. When we left, Itachi locked the place up, replaced the genjutsu and started walking me to my apartment.

Going home reminded me of Naruto, and I wondered what was going on with him. Did Orochimaru attack? Itachi hadn't mentioned anything about the exams, so he either can't tell me or actually has nothing to tell me.

I chewed on my lip and worried so much that I didn't even realize Itachi was speaking to me until he put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me at the apartment building, in front of the main door decorated with chipped, green paint.

"Yuzuha?" Everything about his face was concerned from his eyebrows to his frowning, bottom lip.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I'm just worried about Naruto." I looked up at the building.

"His big sister trained him. He'll be fine," he assured with a smile and let his hand slide off my shoulder. I nodded slowly, trying to believe that that would be enough.

"Could you find out for me? For sure, I mean? Don't you want to see if Sasuke's okay, too?" Trust me, Itachi, you want to see if Sasuke's okay.

He shook his head, to my surprise. "I can't always be there for him. I'm trying to have faith in his abilities."

I raised an eyebrow. Trying to have faith in his abilities? I frowned at that. What are all these new developments? First, he's keeping something from me and now he's letting Sasuke wander from the safety of his nest? What else don't I know? There's something going on with him and it's going to drive me mad if I don't find out.

"Okay, look, whatever it is that's up, spill it." I popped my hip and placed a fist on it, staring up at his face, willing him to just tell me. It would probably fail—you cant push Uchiha Itachi into doing anything—but it was worth a shot.

He gave me an amused smile and tapped my forehead with his fingers.

"It's a secret," he murmured with one closed eye and a smile, and then turned around. "I'll see you when you pass."

 _When_ , not _if_. It made me smile as I held a palm to my forehead where he had tapped me.

"Goodnight."

He turned his head, gave me a side-nod and disappeared down the street as I tried to put my ass to sleep upstairs.

Surprisingly, after a relaxing cup of tea, I was able to doze off.

* * *

"Give yourself up, Uchiha Sasuke. Or we'll blow their brains out through their ears."

The trio from the new Sound village had descended on team seven like bloodthirsty mosquitos. They attacked in the middle of the night and now, Naruto's head was pinned under some jerk's foot and some girl had a kunai to Sakura's throat in the silvery light of the full moon.

The long-sleeved ninja that looked like a porcupine introduced himself as Dosu after he tried to blast Sasuke's ear apart with his arm. Only the sharingan spared him a bleeding ear drum. If he hadn't involuntarily activated his eyes when Sakura screamed, he wouldn't be standing right now.

"How about you let my teammates go and you leave here alive instead?" he threatened, "I might even leave your teammates intact if you're quick about it." Sasuke _hated_ it when others tried to intimidate him. The only people he gave the honor of his fear were his brother and his cousin. They were beasts among men and the only two peoppe that could truly stress him out in a spar.

Although, all bravery aside, he had to admit team seven's current situation was bad.

Sakura was directly to his left, Naruto on his right. Both of his teammates were grinding their teeth, but he had spent enough time in the woods with the rosette to catch the look in her jade eyes.

She has a plan.

He squeezed his fists and then let them relax. It was their own little code for, "I understand you."

The girl threatening her life towered over her petite form, holding her from behind. As Sakura held onto the wrist holding the kunai to her throat, she shifted her fingers, separating the last two from the first three, and pressing down with the last two.

They'd count to "two" and then create chaos.

One.

He saw Sakura tense.

Two!

She twisted her body beneath the knife, and slammed her foot on her captor's exposed toes. The girl yelped in pain and diverted the her teammates' eyes to her. That one second of inattention, was all Sasuke and Naruto needed to turn the tables on their opponents.

Sasuke threw exploding tags at Dosu, and jumped into the flames with his foot outstretched, gritting his teeth against the burn of the fire. Naruto reached up and behind himself with both awkward arms and then twisted his opponent's ankle, skidding the foot across his face in the process, but whatever. He managed to get the guy to scream and jump back in pain. Sasuke's eyes flicked back to Sakura, and he saw metal beneath the sliced high collar of her red shirt.

Under armor. Smart. They always threatened to cut the girl's throat, didn't they? It was excellent preventative thinking.

Sakura already had the girl pinned against a tree trunk, one foot on the girl's injured one, and one forearm choking the life out of her, right beneath her chin. She fought back weakly, but the lack of oxygen was slowing her down and Sakura had a firm grip on her wrist.

As the sounds of struggle continued, Sasuke's foot connected with something metal and when it didn't budge, he flipped and twisted over his opponent's head before another wave of sound could hit him. He was already putting his plan in action.

Naruto deftly avoided a gust of sound from his opponent's hands and practically twirled right into his face. His opponent expected him to throw a punch at his gut, but Naruto used their height difference and proximity to his advantage and jumped upwards, cracking the guy's nose with the top of his head.

As their fight continued, Sasuke kept leaping around Dosu, pretending to slow down just a bit each time he dodged his attacks. Slowly, Dosu's confidence rose and he began to cackle, thinking he had Sasuke on the run.

 _What's it like to be stupid, I wonder?_

When all of Sasuke's wires were in place, he "desperately" leapt to the side, leaving himself open to attack. Dosu laughed through his bandages and summoned the sound waves into his arms. Right then, Sasuke smirked and pulled with all his strength.

One of Dosu's arms flew downwards at his feet, and the other went right into his face at an angle awkward enough for him to blast his own ears with his own sound waves.

Sasuke watched as he screamed and fell to the forest floor, just seconds after Sakura dropped her opponent's body like a dumbbell and joined him in surrounding their only remaining opponent.

He was too focused on judging his enemy's potential strengths when they had initially introduced themselves, but he was pretty sure the last guy called himself Zaku.

Zaku held both of arms out, palms facing Naruto and Sakura, but he was cornered against a tree trunk, bleeding and unbalanced on his twisted ankle. Even as he stood, trying to support his weight against the tree, it still hung at an awkward angle. Naruto must have snapped the bone at its joint. Sasuke almost felt sorry for him. He had started the battle as a hunter, but team seven turned him into prey. It must be terrifying for a person to realize that he is no longer the predator and that it is too late for him.

He deserved it for pointing those palms at his teammates; for threatening their lives.

"Who sent you?" Sakura asked in a poisonous hiss that Sasuke wasn't aware she was capable of. "Was it that weirdo, Orochimaru!?" She prepped her chakra-coated kunai, and he flinched at the sudden appearance of a green glow. Naruto kept his eyes on Zaku's palms, his one cheek skinned and swollen from his escape attempt.

"I don't have to tell you squat, prince—

Sasuke lunged at him and the boy caught the action in his peripheral vision. Like a scared animal, he shot sound out of the hole in his hand in defense, but Sasuke was faster than him.

Naruto was also on the move. He used his panic against him, stepped inwards, and grimaced as he grabbed his arm. What was to come next was going to sicken all of them.

Sasuke saw Naruto's chest expand with a nervous breath as he held him by the wrist and then used his hand to invert his elbow, snapping that joint, too.

The crack and pop echoed off of the trees and Sasuke swore he saw Naruto's skin turn slightly green in the moonlight.

The boy howled in pain and Sakura took the opportunity to duck past Naruto and mercifully kicked him in the temple the same way Orochimaru kicked her. Zaku's face bounced off of the tree trunk behind him and he slumped to the floor, unconscious.

For several, quiet moments, team seven huffed and puffed amongst the steady chirping of crickets, assessing each other for injuries.

When he was sure all was well, Naruto looked at his opponent's prone form with an apologetic frown on his face. "What do we do with them?"

Dosu groaned from the center of the clearing and they all turned their backs on Zaku, ready to beat Dosu into a pulp if necessary.

"Please, don't kill them," he begged and tried to sit up. He only managed to roll over a bit before emptying his stomach all over the bandages on his face.

 _That must feel disgusting._

"We'll ask you again. Who sent you?" Sasuke demanded and lowered his arms.

"Your girl is right—

" _Sakura_ ," Naruto corrected, his tone a warning, but Dosu paid him no mind. His eye was wildly trying to focus on Sasuke in front of him.

"Orochimaru-sama sent us to kill you at first, but then he told us to retrieve you instead. You were supposed to be unconscious."

"Well, the next time you see him, you tell him that every team he sends after us will end up just like you losers," Sasuke replied and crossed his arms.

"And give us your scroll, too!" Naruto growled. "That jerk burned ours."

"It's in Kin's pack."

Sakura marched across the clearing and fished it out of the weapons pouch at the girls thigh. After tossing it to Naruto, she walked over to Dosu and lifted an arm.

"You're lucky we're not like the other teams," she spoke down at him, and then knocked him unconscious, delivering a vicious hit to his neck. Then, she dropped to her knees and placed glowing green palms near his ear.

"I worked hard to put him in that state," Sasuke grumbled at her.

"And he'll still be in pain when he wakes up, don't worry. I'm healing him just enough to make the damage he's done to himself temporary. Think what you want, but we really messed them up. Besides, didn't you say they have a message to deliver?" She shot him a look that dared him to argue the point, and when he didn't reply, she walked up to the boy Naruto brutalized and started setting his joints back in place. She healed them, just enough as she promised, and then turned back to Naruto and Sasuke.

"We have an earth scroll. Now we just need a heaven scroll. We've only lost a day, and a lot of other teams are probably just getting started too. Somehow, we caught up," Sakura summarized and looked into the woods.

"Mn. We should set traps," Sasuke offered, but Naruto shook his head.

"No way! We should just feel out some teams and ambush them in the night!"

"They'll be most alert at night," Sakura reminded, "it would be way more difficult that way."

"With that psychopath out there, I think we should take someone out as soon as possible. We need to rest first, regroup and then move," Sasuke planned, dropping his arms and turning to Naruto, "I think I like your plan. With a little bit of rest, it won't be hard to use the sharingan to ambush someone."

"Hey, don't go being a hero. You can't do it alone," Sakura huffed, crossing her arms. "I can't talk you guys out of a night strike, fine. But we should at least work in tandem if we're going to ambush a team, maybe set traps against their traps or something," she trailed off and placed a hand to her chin, looking down and spacing out, no doubt imagining the different traps she could rig under the cover of night.

"It doesn't have to be that complicated." Sasuke shook his head. "Naruto, how many explosives do you have left? I'm low on mine."

Naruto grinned devilishly and patted the weapons pouch on his left thigh. He had taken two to the exam. It was dangerous, extra weight that could have gotten in his way or slowed him down, but both Sasuke and Sakura had let it go after he promised he could handle it and that it was worth it.

"I got plenty right in here. Ero-sennin suggested I stock up, so let's blow some stuff up!"

"Alright," Sasuke began, "But first, we nap, eat and recover. We'll move during in a few hours, find a team, take out their watchman, and then set off our explosives. While they're still confused we'll take them out, grab their scroll, and move North as fast as possible."

He eyed Sakura and Naruto, looking for their approval. Both his teammates nodded, and the three silently set out to find a suitable place to rest.

* * *

I stepped into the empty arena built for the chunin exams and looked around. It was noon, the sun was at its peak and there was one cloud in the sky.

On a little balcony, I saw jii-chan, Duck-shit-Danzo, the crusty old couple and two, faithful anbu in masks standing on both sides of the group. With a wave of jii-chan's hand, a shinobi appeared maybe twenty feet in front of me.

I was in shock.

Fugaku-sama stood there with one hand in his pocket, smirking in his jonin uniform, the mark of the Uchiha police force emblazoned on the shoulders of the long-sleeved black shirt beneath his green vest.

I must have been gaping, because he smirked at me, amused.

"What did you expect, honestly?"

I slapped a palm to my forehead. I wanted to be on the council of clans. I couldn't do that if I couldn't square up to a clan head, could I?

I wondered if Fugaku-sama had volunteered for the job. It was poetic in a way. I was about to fight him with the weapons he had amassed in the Uchiha war-room.

Heh. How pissed is he going to be with Itachi when he finds out?

There was no ceremony or fancy speech before the fight. The rules were common sense so they didn't even need to be stated.

"Begin." Danzo's voice echoed throughout the empty seating area. I didn't have half a second before Fugaku lunged and appeared in front of my face, sword ready to cut my neck.

I unsealed a fan just in time and parried it, sliding the fan up his blade from the hilt to the tip, tossing it to the side and then throwing an elbow at his throat, which was much more difficult than you think for someone of my stature.

We exchanged several blows, using our armed hands when necessary. He incorporated his sword into the Uchiha style perfectly, while I turned my fight style into a dance with my fan.

Eventually, our fight got to a point where he activated his sharingan and managed to surprise me. Our moves had become so mechanical and practiced that when he feinted to change up the patterns, the horizontal swipe of his sword threw me off and I had to switch places with a large pebble nearby to avoid it.

He smacked the rock away as if he were using a baseball bat and spun around to block the long, slender staff I unsealed with a touch of my fingers.

His eyes caught the Uchiha symbols engraved into the metal of the staff and a look of surprise flashed across his face. As soon as his eyebrows rose, I used the moment to shove my foot straight out at his gut. My foot connected with his hip bone and he went with the flow of my attack and jumped backwards in the direction I wanted him to go, skidding across the ground while using his left hand to throw three shuriken at my neck.

I bent backwards and flipped, hearing the metal cut through the air as the stars whizzed over my torso. When I was right-side-up again, I unsealed my own shuriken and threw them back. He parried them with another three of his own and the cluster of weapons fell to the dusty ground between us with a metal-on-stone _tap_!

We launched at each other again and when our weapons collided between us the bones in my arms vibrated with the force of the impact. His eyes narrowed and he twisted his torso until he could jab my forearm with his elbow, pushing my staff to the side at the same time. The blow sent a tingling sensation down into my wrist and fingers and loosened my grip just enough for him to slide his sword off of it and then strike it from underneath with the back of his blade.

The staff went flying and I dipped out of there, but I wasn't quick enough to get much distance between us. I twisted past a downwards strike and jumped away from a horizontal slash. Then, I touched the seal on my shoulder and out popped a naginata, the Uchiha fan emblazoned into the base of the short blade.

I parried a strike with his sword and with a yell, used as much strength as possible to shove him backwards. The Uchiha style would require him to go with my strike and fall back for a second. As expected, he did, but not without throwing a kunai that I blocked by spinning the staff part of the naginata.

Now it was my turn to hack and slash. I had used a naginata before, so I had more experience with it. I got maybe two good strikes in before Fugaku-sama started incorporating kicks and flips into his kenjutsu.

The naginata didn't last more than ten seconds before he bashed it out of my hands with his foot.

Fuckfuck _fuuuuuuck_.

It went flying somewhere and I cartwheeled to the side at the same time that I heard its metal blade cut into the dirt like a shovel.

It only took me a second to unseal Yusui's sword, and if our battle was a song, that would have been the moment the beat dropped.

Every step, every movement felt like a test of strength and wit. It was like a professional chess game: one wrong move and you've screwed up your chances of winning, _greatly_. Strike here, parry there, spin here, knee to the gut there, block right now, duck right after, et cetera, et cetera.

I knew the Uchiha style enough to hold my own against it, but I also knew it enough to know that the only way to land a hit on him would be to do something unexpected and unorthodox.

But first I need to get that sword out of his hands.

I wrapped my arm beneath my sleeve in my chains until my entire forearm was shielded. Then, I made my move. He struck diagonally, expecting me to move, but instead I brought up my arm. He sliced through my clothes, surprised until the moment he saw the glowing gold covering my skin.

I pushed back with my arm and batted his sword out and low enough to jump up and hook the back of my knee over his arm. He tried to lift up his arm to throw me off balance, but he didn't have the strength in that one muscle of his arm to hold my entire weight at the speed I was moving at.

I clenched my leg tightly as I lifted my other knee and shoved it right into his cheek.

We sailed backwards, my body making his too top-heavy to handle at the angle he was leaning at.

He fell and I used my sword to smack the hilt of his right out of his hand. He grabbed me by the back of my haori and tossed me, but not before I flung his sword right into the wall of the arena.

Bye-bye katana.

I rolled across the dirt and took my time getting up. When he dove downwards at me, intending on shoving his foot into my ribcage, I sprung up on all fours in a push-up position and dragged my lower half out of the way just as his foot connected with the ground.

I didn't let him jump away before I kicked up dirt in the same movement, flinging it upwards with so much force that is hit the bridge of his nose and his eyes.

I actually legit heard little pebbles hit the metal of his forehead protector.

He squinted and jumped back, and I knew I managed to at least take one eye out. When I jumped to my feet, he had closed his left eye.

Bye-bye left sharingan.

Now he was _pissed_. That was a dirty trick, yeah, but this is battle and that was the only thing that was going to give me an upper hand. Judge me all you want, but there's no _true_ honor in being a ninja. The first thing we're taught in the academy is trickery.

All it took was one hand seal from him and I was scrambling to dodge a huge—and I mean, _huge_ — fireball. I jumped up as high as I could and still felt the heat sapping the moisture out of the skin on my painted legs. I'm pretty sure my toes shriveled up a little.

I tapped an inner elbow to reseal Yusui's katana, and then touched a knee to unseal four kunai, two of them explosive. He had no choice but to dodge the knives and following explosions. That was all the time I needed to complete the string of hand-seals for my water dragon jutsu.

And that's exactly what I sent his way the second his feet hit the ground a distance away.

He made some odd hand sign and then blew out a huge-ass wall of fire that Madara would have been proud of. It clashed with my subpar dragon with a hiss and evaporated it like it was nothing.

Shit, I'm gonna die!

There's nowhere to go! This fuckin' wall is massive and wide-spread. It's like an ocean wave, but of white-hot fire and I'm about to drown. Hell's lake of fire has nothing on this thing!

I put my chakra-chain shield up and prayed for the best, making a clone at the same time, and having her transform into a discarded kunai against the arena wall.

She was my insurance and thankfully, he didn't see her before he showed up behind my shield, fists and legs flying, not giving me any time to recover.

I caught a fist to the face, but only because he made it look like he was going to kick me, distracting me and making me focus on his leg instead of his hand.

I flew back. _Flew_.

Only muscle memory forced me back on my feet immediately after skidding across the dirt several meters. My fists were up just in time to parry another straight punch. I ignored the pain in my jaw and the ringing in my ear as I braced myself for another string of vicious taijutsu moves.

My eyes were unfocused for a moment and I would've been fucked if I spent another one waiting for them to adjust, so instead, I closed them and used my Eye of Kagura to duck and dodge his strikes. It was easier to feel and picture attacks than actually struggle to see them when your eyes are busted. Plus, all that cave-training with the bats and eating bugs all day has to amount to something, right?

Tch. Eye for an eye, huh? Good thing I can literally fight blind.

I hissed as I felt a cut across my neck just below my ear. I could fight bodies blind, but not weapons. When did he even pick a kunai out of his pouch? Did he have it up his sleeve this whole time?

That forced my eyes open. I unsealed my fans to parry the two kunai he was stabbing and slicing at me with. It was not goddamn easy.

"Switch!" Jiji's voice echoed throughout the stadium and I was stunned when Fugaku jumped back into the seating area of the arena with a nod of approval in my direction.

Did our battle go on for too long?

I didn't have time to think about it. I heard something cutting through the air and just barely dodged a thick, black whip. It cracked against the ground next to me, and when I turned to face my opponent, I saw a female anbu in a bland, white mask, its only decoration being a single, blue snake, curled up on the center of the forehead.

Well, her whips sure moved like snakes. Yep, whip _s._ As in plural. As in she had two of them. I might just be fucked, but I do have some sort of chance. Dual-wielders are fierce opponents, but they have poor defensive skills, usually. Once you get past their speedy, successive attacks there's very little they can do to block you without dropping at least one of their weapons.

She swung one of the whips and before I knew it I was wishing up and down that I had been born an Uchiha. The sharingan would be _perfect_ right about now. It wasn't easy dodging her attacks. I had to read the way her wrists and arms moved first to be able to predict the motions that her whips would make just to know where they would snap. It was making my eyes hurt.

I made distance my priority. She was a specialized, close-to-mid -range fighter, so I had a good chance against her if I used distance attacks. It would be _really nice_ to have fireballs to spit at her right about now, but again, I wasn't born Uchiha and I wasn't born with an affinity for fire.

I just want to burn shit, damn it! Why!?

With another feather-light touch, I unsealed two exploding-tag kunai and tossed them her way. She batted them out of the way with her whips and came after me anyway, but the explosions behind her caused her to miss a step and falter. It was almost imperceptible, but it was _there_. To anyone not at the level of experience that we were at, it would have gone totally unnoticed, but I saw it. It was just a slight little tension of the muscles in her calves, but it gave me that split second to jump back onto the wall, far enough away from her to unseal my bow, and then unseal an exploding arrow from the red seals on the rare, black wood of my bow.

I shot the arrow and ignited the seals on it. She dodged it last second, but didn't expect it to explode right next to her. She flew to the side and I shot another one at her. She rolled out of the way, but she was on a downwards spiral. She just barely dodged every one of my shots, earning herself cuts and burns each time, until finally, I shot her in the shoulder.

Only, it wasn't her when the arrow exploded. It was a log.

I lunged forward as soon as I saw her body poof into the chunk of wood and just barely missed another crack of a whip from right behind me. I whirled around, pulled my bowstring back and jumped backwards across the narrow top of the concrete wall. If I fell into the seating area, the test would be over and I would lose. She was trying to get me to fall on the wrong side of the battleground.

I'll be damned if I let that happen again.

I flipped backwards off of the wall, arrow still knocked, and shot it in her general direction before I was oriented enough to read my situation. Unfortunately, I missed her, and now Jiji has to pay someone to fix the seats that I turned into rubble.

Oops.

I could feel her frustration building.

Ordinary battles weren't supposed to take this long. She was anbu. The violence on her missions always ended within a matter of seconds, minutes if her opponent or target was dangerous. I was a nuisance and every instinct she honed over her years of service to the village probably told her to get rid of me because fights this drawn-out weren't normal, and not normal equals fear, which equals death.

That's why I expected her attack. I sensed it first, of course, from the moment she called upon her chakra, but I knew from instinct that it was coming before that. It's the only reason I jumped as far back as I could before she poured chakra into the tips of her whips and extended them into sharpened points of spiky death.

I could almost hear her grinding her teeth. I wasn't supposed to dodge that, either.

Too bad, girlfriend.

I shot another arrow and then another and another until I was successfully keeping her at bay.

While she was busy trying not to get herself blown up and kill me in the process, my hidden clone from before did her duty. She knocked a regular arrow, pulled back, and shot it right through the woman's thigh. I could just barely see the steel tip jutting out from the front of her leg, dribbling blood as she howled in pain, the first noise I heard from her since she showed up.

"Switch!" The crusty old guy that wasn't so bad shouted from his place next to his anbu guard. The woman dove backwards into the stands, and limped away to an exit. I didn't get to see her disappear through the doorway before I sensed two bodies drop into the test zone.

I resealed my bow and unsealed a pair of nunchakus.

I have no idea how to use them, but they don't know that. So I spun them in circles, praying that they wouldn't catch on anything or crack my straight teeth.

I like my teeth. Don't get hit in the face, Yuzuha.

They split up on me and decided to go for a two-front attack. Classical strategy. This is where Itachi's weapon-spamming idea will flourish.

Fuck it, I flung the nunchakus at them and unsealed as many Uchiha-crested kunai as I could and started tossing them at them. They parried most of them, but that was fine by me. Some of them had explosion seals etched into them, others were the kunai I used to teleport places and some were total duds, meant to look like explosives, but weren't and still others were regular old kunai. It would be difficult for them to take a minute to dissect which ones are which if I'm continuously wailing on them.

When a bunch of random ones exploded around me, I blocked the flames with my chakra-chain shield and smirked as they jumped backwards towards the wall, where there weren't any weapons strewn about.

That's right, boys. I am _not_ afraid of my own explosives. I cackled, proud of the minefield I turned the field into.

Come and get me bitches, if you dare.

"Earth-style: earth wave jutsu!" The man on my right pressed his fingers into a hand seal.

 _Fuck_.

The ground beneath us shifted up and down as if it were water. Like dirt on a picnic blanket, my weapons were shaken off and tossed to the other half of the field while I jumped as high up as I could, not daring to get swallowed up in the nightmare below.

I didn't make my trip into the air a waste. I unsealed and tossed four kunai, then teleported to one of the random kunai strewn about to dodge a sick lightning bolt that would have surely killed me had I not sensed it coming.

Lightning and earth. They were powerful and fucking scary jutsu. I've seen Mira-sensei bury people alive with earth jutsu, and I've seen Yusuke cook people alive with lightning. Daunting, yes, but there's a hole in their strategy. The two techniques can't be used against me at the exact same time. Lightning negates earth and renders it useless and this lightning guy is no sharingan wielder. No doubt, his focus has to be insane to keep up his techniques, especially if he doesn't want to interfere with his comrade's attacks.

I'll take him out first, then his friend.

I unsealed one fan, teleported again and then started throwing kunai of all different kinds into the concrete of the curved wall. They could fuck with the earth, but they couldn't fuck with the wall, not unless they wanted to get an earful from jii-chan.

I ran across the top of the wall, dropping and embedding different kinds of kunai into it. While I did that I either blasted away shuriken with wind from my fan, or set off a dormant exploding kunai here or there to keep them on their toes.

When I was done dropping knives, the real fun began. I dodged lightning and weapons of all kinds while flashing to different parts of the wall, keeping myself above their heads. They did their best to push me back, but I was too fast and too random for them.

It didn't take them long to start throwing rocks and knives at the teleportation kunai on the wall, but while I flashed back and forth, I made sure to drop more kunai onto the edges of the field, just before they could turn to face me and catch me doing it. Those were more teleportation kunai and dormant explosives. If they noticed me expanding my territory, they didn't look it.

I set off some of the exploding kunai on top of the wall and watched as it crumbled away, hurling chunks of rock everywhere until I exploded so many of them that my two opponents had no choice but to stick closer to the center of the field to avoid getting pelted by shit around the edges.

Would you believe those motherfuckers had the audacity to shoot random bolts of lightning and chunks of rock and shuriken at my feet!? But most of the wall and the seats were destroyed so, fuck it, whatever, right?

At least I had the two of them where I needed them.

I started to set off the exploding kunai I had "secretly" dropped earlier, but lightning-guy surprised everyone by charging through one of the explosions.

He was done fucking around at this long-distance game we were playing. He came at me, fists and feet flying, hot embers from my explosions burning tiny holes into his pristine, white vest.

I freaked at his aberrant move and parried his attacks, dropping to the dirt below and dodging a wave of earth from his friend while trying to stay alive.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck.

I tossed blades of wind at earth-guy while spinning out of the way of lightning-guy's club.

Yes, you got that right, his _club_.

He pulled a legit, spiked club off his back and swung it at me as if it weighed less than half of what I know it does. He was a muscly dude, yeah, but that kind of thing was still a shock to see.

They started to close in on me. Little by little, they were gaining ground while keeping me on my toes.

It didn't matter how many shuriken I unsealed, or how much wind I tried to attack and defend with. They always found a way to avoid my attacks and keep me busy with their own while they inched ever closer.

It's time to use _it_. This is gonna hurt like hell, though.

I pretended to falter, just for a second, and in that second I took a vicious shot to the ribs with lightning-guy's club. I reinforced my skin with my chakra-chain shield so I wouldn't get impaled on its spikes, but I was still sent flying across the ground and scraping across all the pointy, sharp weapons I dropped earlier.

As I skidded through the dirt, I unsealed and dropped _all_ , and I mean _every single one_ of my smoke bombs. And there were like two hundred that I think we sealed up, of all different kinds of sizes too.

I could barely fucking breathe as I climbed to my feet and jumped to the other side of the field while the two of them coughed underneath their masks.

I prayed that neither of them had a handy wind jutsu, and after waiting a second, I realized that I was in the clear. I unsealed a black bandana, tied the thing tightly around my eyes and prepared for war as their bodies became clearer in my mind than they were with my eyes open.

They were huddled together, back to back, waiting and ready for an attack from anywhere. There was so much smoke, they couldn't jump high enough over it and couldn't see a damn thing through it and it was potent enough to hang there just long enough for me to throw off my haori and then unseal _it_.

 _It_ was a double, stacked fuuma shuriken. The two separate blades were connected at the center and stacked on top of one another to make one. On its blades were seals, and those seals would catch fire once my chakra touched them, and thanks to the chakra Itachi pumped into the seals, the flames would continue to burn for an extended time.

With a wind jutsu, I began to spin both blades. The smoke around me began to swirl, but it was so heavy the two anbu weren't aware of it just yet. Once they realized what was happening, it would already be too late.

Heh heh heh…

I caressed the seals on the blades with my chakra and the double fuuma shuriken lit up like every pyro-maniac's wet dream, mixing with the wind around it to create a thick, spinning disk of fiery death. It was like canon Naruto's rasenshuriken, but less explosive and less cool, but just as surprising. I spun that shit until the smoke vented upwards and started to clear.

When they noticed my shadow through the remaining smoke, I threw it, disturbing the air around the field and clearing the rest of the smoke away. They jumped apart, just as I expected them to, and I pulled the two blades apart, just like I planned to.

They didn't realize I was tricking them, and in that infinitesimal half-second of time that their brains still thought that they had safely dodged my spinning flame-circle of hellfire, I used the ninja wires attached to the two separate blades to separate them and then control their trajectory.

I whipped those fuckers at each of them and had them running for their safety across the field. Heh, the field that still had dormant explosives littered all over the place.

The second they dodged my discs, the explosives—all of them—went off. There were so many of them, some of them tiny enough to be disguised as pebbles with a pathetic, unnoticeable genjutsu that the whole fuckin field turned into a bright flash of white light. I dropped my hold on the wires controlling my hell-discs and encased myself entirely in my shield, turning it into a huge golden dome around me. It wasn't perfect, though, and some fire still licked at my ankles, arms and face. I bit my knuckle to continuously heal myself as I was being singed.

When all the continuous, earth-shaking booms ceased exactly seventeen seconds later, I dispersed my shield and took my teeth off of my index finger.

I stood proudly with a straight back, because they had retreated so far up into the seating area They almost fled through the circular cut-out in the ceiling.

I untied my bandana and surveyed the damage.

The place was fucking destroyed.

Smoke, small fires and debris littered the place. Like, I'm saying you can't even take a step without almost stabbing a hole through your sandal with either a weapon or a jagged rock or burning yourself on some fire. The wall around the test zone was no longer a wall as much as it was the occasional pointed slab of concrete, standing dismally amongst the destruction like a tombstone.

Yep, RIP stadium. RIP Yuzuha's paychecks for the next ten or twenty missions because _someone_ is going to have to pay for this.

Whatever, it was worth it. I stood there in my cropped, open-back, choke-collar undershirt, feeling exposed, but proud. I had used up almost all the seals Itachi and I had worked on. The seals on my stomach, lower back, shoulders, arms, legs and collarbones were empty, including the huge seal on my back that housed my demon-disc of hellfire.

Several elderly coughs reached my ears. Crusty old guy and crusty cranky lady were _not_ pleased with the amount of dust and smoke flowing into their lungs right now. I tried hard not to smirk, but the high the victory and drawn-out battle had given me _begged_ me to do it. I wanted them to know that they had gravely underestimated me, but I kept myself in check. They'd realize it on their own. If I leered at them now, they'd stomp their feet and I wouldn't get my title.

"Uzumaku Yuzuha." Jii-chan's voice was like a gong that exorcised all the chaos around everyone. The coughing stopped, the dust settled and the air cleared as if to make room for his declaration.

Danzo lifted a bandaged arm to drop something into jii-chan's palm. It shined in the light of the sun as he threw it down at me. I caught it with a slap when it hit my palm, and when I looked down, it was an official, golden seal, the kind used to decorate the wax that kept a scroll or letter shut. I looked at its bottom and found an imprint of the Uzumaki swirl on it.

A slow smile spread across my face as my heart leapt into my throat.

"With this golden seal, you are officially the first Uzumaki clan head in Konoha history."

Hah.

 _Hah!_

I told you so! I said I'd one day become the youngest clan head when I got here and _boom_ motherfucker, one goal down! Now watch me bask in my success _muahahahahahahahahaha_!

Of course, I didn't let any of those thoughts show on my face. I bowed respectfully, like a good girl, tied the bandana around my wrist and left the rubble behind me to go giggle like a little girl in my apartment as I unsealed the remaining weapons in my body and washed all the ink off my skin.

I rested my forehead against the cold, cracked tiles of my bathroom shower and finally took a huge breath in, held it, and then released it, still shaking from the excitement of before. Hot water dripped over my tense shoulders and dirty face. The high of victory was beginning to wane and reality was beginning to settle in.

More power means more responsibility which means so much more care. There were eyes on me before, but now those eyes will be scrutinizing me so much more. The moment after I apologize to Fugaku-sama and fork up every dime I've saved since coming here to replace all the weapons I destroyed, my real work will begin.

I'm one step closer to Danzo. One step closer to his throat, or gaining evidence of his secret machinations, whichever one comes first.

Just you wait, fucker. I'm catching up to you and one day, I'll snuff out your tainted soul.

 _Failure is not an option_.

* * *

"And?" Danzo refrained from crossing his arms, opting to keep his palms on his cane. Hiruzen continued staring out his window at the night sky and glowing lights of the village. The discussions after the spectacle from earlier were almost as long as the day felt. He wanted to go home, but he knew he wouldn't sleep well if he didn't have this conversation.

"And my claim is no lie. There _is_ an Uzumaki girl, from Kusagakure, looking to meet her remaining kin here. Had I not been sure that some remnants of the clan remained and wanted to flourish in Konoha, I would not have allowed Uzumaki-san such a great leap. I am in the process of making arrangements with Kusakage-dono."

A jinchuuriki as a clan head of Konoha. What a _joke_. The girl is insubordinate, brash, and overconfident. Such a voice should not be heard in any form of government, let alone Konoha's council of clans.

And what was this about letting outsiders into the village and making _arrangements_ with another kage? It's as if the way the Kiri argument ended somehow changed the way the world has been the last five hundred years. Where on earth is Hiruzen's sanity?

"Arrangements," Danzo repeated. If Hiruzen had nothing to hide, he'd elaborate.

"Yes, arrangements. Is there something I should be aware of regarding Kusagakure, or are they the war-torn little village representing the war-torn little Land of Grass hoping to find some peace that we think they are?"

There was a challenge in his tone that he tried to hide, but ultimately failed. He was so easy to read Danzo almost forgot to keep the smile off his face. Hiruzen _is_ hiding something. There _is_ a plan brewing somewhere in his mind. Now, what is it?

"Just reports that their kage is quite young, though his leadership is ironclad. This is the first time Kusa has ever had a noteworthy leader. I do not believe I need to tell you to hide a knife behind every lush blade of grass in this village. Any news about the snake?"

 _That_ was a sensitive topic, one both he and Hiruzen had cause to be concerned with. Danzo had dispatched several of his units to aid in Orochimaru's escape from the forest of death. Their collective plan had failed and now that the Uchiha boy has escaped the snake's fangs, Danzo wouldn't get a report on those experiments. If Orochimaru got away, Danzo's secrets were safe. If not, well…

"He's long gone. I've dispatched Shisui, but even he can't find a trace of him."

"Such a shame. We could have gotten valuable information from his corpse."

"He was once my precious student."

"Your sentimentalities will get you killed one day."

"Perhaps."

"I will not leave without telling you that you've made a grave mistake today. That girl is nowhere near prepared to be a leader. And I will ask you once more to tell me what your plans are."

Hiruzen turned in his chair and smiled at Danzo in the moonlight. "You should have more faith in the future, Danzo."

 _Faith_? The word tasted disgusting in his mind. _Faith_ didn't keep their enemies at bay. _Faith_ wasn't a fly on everyone's wall, listening for the smallest whisper of rebellion, or attack. _Faith_ didn't keep their shinobi alive in battle. _Faith_ didn't make Konoha the behemoth it stands today.

"The girl is a loose cannon. She's been locked in a maximum security prison cell. What makes you think the villagers will welcome her position on government with open arms? Do you think they'll smile and nod without argument while she walks into the council hall on that day?"

"I don't think they know enough to protest. Whether they're comfortable with her there or not, they do trust the judgment of the other clan heads and myself. Things will work out."

"You haven't answered my question." He would have to try a different, more direct tactic.

"Your demand, you mean?"

"It was a question."

Hiruzen chuckled. "I have no _plans_ , other than to help a Konoha ember flourish into a proud fire."

 _Liar_.

"Mn, and do you plan on doing that with an uchiwa?"

Danzo was the furthest thing from a fool. Of course whatever Hiruzen was planning with that girl involved the Uchiha. His support of the clan after the Kyuubi disaster was sickening. They were instrumental in the attack and Hiruzen was coddling them and patting their heads like they weren't dirty backstabbers. Their eyes would be much more useful embedded in his right arm than in the living skulls of those traitorous leeches.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I surely hope you aren't forcing a pro-Uchiha voice into government and into making decisions far too important for that voice to meddle in."

Hiruzen's expression became hard.

"I would never endanger the balance of power in this village. Perhaps Uzumaki Yuzuha _is_ on good terms with the Uchiha; you are not wrong in your line of thinking, however, the Uzumaki clan will be growing from this moment on and it needs a leader and the only one capable of that is Yuzuha. Her position is necessary, and I believe her judgments to be logical enough to look past her ties to the Uchiha. If you don't believe me, I implore you to take a thorough look at her written mission reports. You may find much of yourself and your own words in her handwriting."

Oh?

"Perhaps I will."

Danzo looked at Hiruzen and watched him stare back. It was so silent Danzo could have heard the dust mites stirring.

"I will send word the moment Uchiha Shisui's report comes in."

It was as good a closing statement as any. Danzo nodded in response.

"Try not to stay here all night."

He took the long, scenic route back to his home, filling in the large holes of information he couldn't pull out of his old friend. After some debating he came to a few conclusions, but settled on one that made the most sense:

There will be an arranged marriage between Uchiha Itachi and Uzumaki Yuzuha. It made the most sese. Once that girl rose to proper leadership and married the Uchiha heir there would be no one left to question the integrity of the clan and no one left to question their involvement on _that_ night, because, why oh why would the clan ever do anything to betray the village? They love it so much they accepted an Uzumaki girl into their family! Look! Finally, a proper end to the Uchiha-Senju conflict! How _romantic_.

Disgusting.

The marriage will not be soon. Both parties need more experience before a union like that can make any sort of political or governmental impact. By then, Danzo will find a way to tear the two apart.

Such a union _cannot_ be allowed.

* * *

 **PLEASE READ**

This chapter took so long because of all the battles. I'm so sorry for the wait, guys.

I also hope that you guys aboard SS ItaYuzu enjoyed that little section there. **If you guys liked the way I organized this chapter,** the future chapters will be structured the same, where there will be a section labeled as whatever ship is featured in the chapter, and then a section of the exact same chapter but with either the other ship in it, or just a regular, neutral chapter with no ship scenes. **If you guys hated the way this was done, I'm up for suggestions! PM me or leave a review!**

I really hope I can cater to everyone here.

Speaking of which, I get a lot of people that ship **ItaYuzuShi** _ **.**_ You guys are going to have to leave me detailed reviews or PM me. Not to be too personal, but I have never been in an open relationship and I have no idea where to begin depicting that kind of relationship. I can promise to write something dedicated to you guys somewhere in this fic, but I have no idea how an open relationship like that can work with the personalities that these characters have. I can see Yuzuha being very guilty for having two men in her life. I can see Shisui being murderously jealous all the time, and I can see Itachi very depressed and heartbroken and I can _definitely_ see the very traditional Uchiha clan looking down on a three-way relationship. I just need some help regarding the mechanics of fitting an open relationship into the lives of these characters. So yeah, PM me and maybe we'll make something work, yeah?

See you, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: Nope. Nope. Noooooo.


	23. Uchiha Erina

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

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 **ITAYUZU FANS PLEASE VISIT STORY "YUZUHA" ON MY PROFILE FOR THE ITAYUZU VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER!**

* * *

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!

Team seven is holding their own in the forest of death. Itachi secretly took Yuzuha to an underground Uchiha armory to provide her weapons so she could pass the test to become a clan head.

Meanwhile, it turned out that Hiruzen only allowed her the rank-up to open up the opportunity to settle the unrest between the Uchiha and the village for good. The plan was to let Yuzuha and Itachi become more prominent to the village before arranging a marriage between them and advertising (read: leaking information on/ releasing propaganda on) their union, touting it as a fairy-tale ending to a long history of bad blood between the Uchiha and Senju. Itachi has yet to inform Yuzuha that this is in the works. Danzo wisened up to the plan when he spoke to Hiruzen and deduced from their conversation that an Uzuamki girl from Kusagakure wanting to meet her distant kin wasn't enough of a reason to push Yuzuha into government so early when she doesn't have the skills necessary to lead and help make decisions on the council of clans that could affect the entirety of the village.

Yuzuha faced off against Fugaku and several other anbu and wrecked the testing zone of the chunin exam arena in an effort to pass her test, which she did.

Oblivious to all the behind-the-scenes goings-on, Yuzuha is seeing this victory and promotion as a way to get closer to Danzo to take him out for all the wrongs she knows he committed in canon.

* * *

My first council meeting was three days after I earned my golden seal. I was advised before entering the hall adjacent to the hokage tower to keep my mouth shut and listen, courtesy of Shikaku-san. When we filed into the round, dim room, there was a seat reserved just for me, right between him and Fugaku-san. I felt protected between them, and they acted as not only my mentors, but my guardians as well. I observed the meeting with a shut mouth, as I promised to.

This one was about security detail and seating for the upcoming matches of the chunin exams. It wasn't important enough for the crusty old council, or jii-chan to show up. The members of the police force with shinobi training would be manning all entrances to the village alongside Konoha jonin. The ratio was three policemen to one jonin and they'd be able to cover most of the perimeter. There would be less-experienced police officers stationed throughout the village for regular crowd control. The ratio there would be one chunin to every four blocks, each block manned by two policemen. The perimeter of the stadium would be guarded by undercover chunin and general security will be manned by the newbies of the police force.

Your move, Orochimaru. You're going to have to invoke Houdini's spirit to pull this one off. Speaking of which, I had a damn anxiety attack when Naruto told me about his exams. My baby brother was injured! Rrrrrgh!

Anyway, after that meeting it was time to see team seven off. Sasuke was going to train with Kakashi, Jiraiya agreed to take Naruto and I convinced Mira-sensei to take an extended vacation and train up Sakura. She lost to Kabuto in the preliminaries and a training trip ended up being her punishment, courtesy of Utau's diabolical imagination. It was a brutal idea that I adored. No one can dish out punishment-training as well as Mira-sensei. Sakura's going to come home haunted, but strong.

The main fight people were looking forward to was still the same: Sasuke vs. Gaara. Which means that Suna might still attack. Naruto would be facing off against Neji, although I have no idea if he's still fighting for Hinata's honor or not since he never mentioned anything about Neji pissing him off.

By the time my birthday and the super important clan head gathering came, I was an antsy ball of nerves. The gathering wasn't even all that political, to be honest. There was cake and we used the event to celebrate my initiation into the council. By midnight everyone was drunk and I had to crow-message Itachi to come pick his dad up. Fugaku-sama was so wasted he couldn't see straight and laughed about it all night. I could've totally gotten drunk with them, and to be honest, I probably should have had a few to chill myself out, but I was so tense, I was more comfortable and less paranoid by being alert and aware. Drinking would have made me feel not normal, and not feeling normal would have worsened my anxiety. It wasn't worth it.

By the time a month passed by and I was seated in the stands, I had dark circles under my eyes.

The day of the one-on-one fights for the exam, I kept checking and rechecking jii-chan's chakra signature, my stomach churning. I made sure to sit directly across the balcony he'd be seated on so I could watch him. When the god-damn kazekage showed up I had to fight not to shit myself.

That disgusting oily chakra. It _had_ to be Orochimaru. Who else could feel so… muddled. Feeling his chakra was like peering down at a mass grave full of dismembered corpses: a leg here touching an arm there; a torso laying across four heads of blood-matted hair and a foot. It just felt like a bunch of random, nasty shit becoming one, huge, random, nasty shit.

Bleh.

"You look like you just smelled shit," Mira-sensei leaned over and whispered into my ear. One of her many tiny braids tickled my bare shoulder.

"You could say that." I nodded at her slowly, because it made sense. I'm sure if I could smell chakra, Orochimaru's would definitely smell like shit. I tipped my head up at the "Kazekage" and waited until her eyes were on him. "He doesn't feel right. His chakra feels, I don't know, _disgusting_. It's the only word I can find for it."

"They don't have a lot of nice things to say about him. I'm not surprised," she replied with crossed arms.

I looked over at Mikoto sitting next to Sakura with her hand on her round stomach. She was due sometime this week. Literally everyone told her to stay home or go to the hospital, but she absolutely refused. She wanted at least one family member present today for Sasuke. She was beaming, even though she was sweating in the heat because of the little human in her stomach.

Before Mira-sensei arrived, I was going in circles, wondering who to protect more when the shit hits the fan. Jii-chan or Mikoto-sama? She threw a wrench in my plan by coming here with a baby in her womb. I thought about leaving a clone with her and sending myself up to help jii-chan because I couldn't abandon either of them. I was the only ninja in my immediate vicinity armed to the teeth beneath my civilian outfit of a loose, red tank-top dress and knee-length leggings. The thick bangles on both my wrists had seals etched into them and I had a pouch at my hip beneath my top, right above a seal I had stitched into my pants. I was ready for a fucking war.

And then Mira-sensei showed up. Her motherly, blue dress didn't hide the bulge of her vest beneath it, nor the boots on her feet. I'm sure she had a weapons pouch strapped to her thigh and her katana was probably hanging vertically against her other side.

God I love her. Mikoto-sama would be safe with her there. The second that stupid feather-genjutsu hits, I'm leaving this section of the seats behind and jumping up there before those fuckers put up that barrier.

I tried to keep my foot from tapping as I watched Hinata show up on the field. She was the opening fight this time, not Naruto. She looked totally different from canon Hinata. Her hair was chin-length, her short bangs framing her pretty face. She had her jacket on, but it was left open to reveal a long, but basic, lavender top. Her pants were tighter and squeezed her legs down to her knees. She stood with a straight back, but gentle expression as Dosu walked onto the field.

Naruto told me that they'd kicked the Otogakure team's collective ass, but apparently because Sakura took a second to heal them up they just barely made it to the tower on time.

Sasuke was irritated with her for that one but what's done is done. Now it was Hinata's turn to lay some hurt on the kid.

The fights blew past me. Hinata managed to land one hit on Dosu, which was all she needed to disable him. Naruto won his fight against Neji, who still had the audacity to sneer at him in the beginning and tell him he'd never beat him. I numbly hugged my little brother when he squeezed himself between me and Sakura and watched as Shikamaru sat down somewhere behind us.

Then, things started happening. My stomach twisted tighter and tighter. I wish I could just go up there now, but it would look suspicious if I conveniently went to go help jii-chan before the genjutsu hits. Besides, the surrounding anbu would stop and question me. It would blow my cover.

I didn't realize how much time passed as I ran through battle simulation after battle simulation. Before I knew it, we were waiting for Sasuke to appear. Gaara stood in the ring, killing intent leaking like you wouldn't believe. Sasuke and Kakashi appeared in a swirl of leaves, back-to-back like in canon, except Sasuke's outfit was less goth. He stood there, the epitome of "cool" in a white, high-collared Uchiha shirt and baggy, black pants tucked into tall boots. This outfit was waaaay cooler than the one he wore in canon. Maybe because he's less hateful, he had some thought to spare for his clothes.

The fucking roar that came from this civilian crowd, dude. You would never believe it. The damn stadium nearly shook. And then, everything went the way it did in canon.

I was so ready for everything. Hella fucking ready.

So you can imagine my surprise after I dispelled the genjutsu on myself and Naruto when Mira-sensei threw off her dress to reveal her anbu uniform beneath her clothes, and yelled at me.

"Uzumaki Yuzuha, _jonin_ of Konoha!"

No… _no_! She's pulling rank! She's pulling fucking rank! I stared dumbly at her as the seconds ticked past. She shoved me back with the tip of her sword sheathe, and I didn't realize that I froze, mid-step. _That's_ why she was ordering me. Because she knew I was about to launch myself into the test zone below and up to that god-damn balcony.

"Protect this group and await further instructions from another senior jonin!"

"But, jii-chan!" I looked at her in horror as she disappeared from in front of me. I launched out of my seat and unsealed my fan, parrying a stray shuriken from a nearby fight. I watched in horror as that fucking barrier went up on top of the roof where the little balcony was located.

Fuck! _Fuck_! I was too slow! I should have just ran for it and ignored her! Stupid! _Stupid Yuzuha_!

"Yuzuha-nee!" Sakura looked up at me with wide, confused eyes.

"What the heck is going on!" Naruto looked left and right, still scuffed up from his fight with Neji.

"We're under attack." I raised my fans to engage two approaching Sand shinobi.

Just then Kakashi and Gai showed up, throwing kunai at the two enemies so hard that they flew off to the side mid-jump. By the time they fell and knocked some sleeping citizens over, they were dead.

Mikoto-sama shrieked. Literally, shrieked. I have never heard a sound like that come from her. I whirled to the side to face her and found both her hands over her stomach.

"Mikoto-sama!"

 _Shit_. She's going into labor. Did the stress of the situation do it to her?

"My son!" she wailed and looked at the testing zone. I followed her gaze and found that Sasuke was gone, probably to chase after Gaara. _Fuck_. How could I lose control so quickly? One moment. All it took was _one moment_. I should be up there. I should be where Mira-sensei went to go and she _fucking didn't make it_ before the barrier went up. I looked up and saw her staring at the burning corpse of a comrade that tried to break through the barrier, weapons drawn. Itachi's sensei had joined her.

This is all going south so fast my head is spinning. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.

Jii-chan… _jii-chan_!

"Who gave him orders to pursue!?" Kakashi kicked away a Sound ninja and threw a shuriken at his chest to be extra sure that he was going to die from his fall. I had never heard him so angry.

"Y-you need to lay down, Mikoto-sama." Sakura's voice was a whisper and when I looked over, her eyes were round and fearful, her hands shaking. She grasped the hem of her red t-shirt to steady her fingers, but still, she shook.

Is she… is she planning on… doing something about…

"Oh no!" Liquid spilled all over the floor at Mikoto's feet.

 _Fuck_!

I unsealed a kunai and flung it at a Sound female heading straight for us. It hit her right between the eyebrows, just below her forehead protector. She fell backwards and away from our group. Dead.

"Eh!? What's _that_!?" Naruto paled and pointed at the floor.

"Her water broke. I need to get her to somewhere where she can lay down." Sakura pulled out a clip and pinned her bangs back and out of her face. Her brows pinched into a determined expression, but her minty green irises didn't lose their horrified look. She started to pull Mikoto-sama up by her arm.

"Naruto!" It was the first time I heard her call him for help. Like, _helplessly_ call him for help.

My adorable little brother snapped out of his shock, put on his man-face, squared his shoulders and leaned out of the way of a stray kunai before he leapt to Mikoto-sama's other side. He and Sakura lifted her to a standing position and I covered them, taking out two shinobi while we tucked her into the nearest hallway that lead to an exit. Slowly, Kakashi and Gai fought into a position where they wound up only about fifteen feet ahead of us in a protective position. Gai was shouting badass taijutsu sounds and enemies were flying _everywhere_. Kakashi fell back to our position, only a meter in front of me. I watched helplessly as Sakura laid Mikoto flat and helped her place her feet above her shoulders and against the wall.

"Yuzuha."

I tore my eyes away from Sakura slowly weaving a string of hand seals together and Naruto looking away from the scene with a helpless, red face.

"Wake Ino and Shikamaru. Someone needs to go after Sasuke."

With a nod I dove over to the two people in question. I quickly explained to Ino what was going on as I kicked Shikamaru in the leg, knowing from canon that the little faker had resisted the genjutsu.

"Ow!" he hissed and grabbed his ankle.

"That's what you get for pretending, brat. Now get up."

"Sh-Shikamaru!" Ino gaped at him, before her expression turned into one of pure rage. "You coward!"

"This isn't a problem for genin to solve. 'Might as well have stayed asleep."

"Come on. We have a mission," the blonde bossed.

"What a _drag_."

When we fought our way back to Kakashi's side, he just got done cutting some Sound ninja's throat.

"I need—

"Don't worry, I already know," I interrupted him. His strategy was obvious.

"Naruto, Shikamaru. You two follow me," I commanded, "We're going after Sasuke. Ino, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to stay here and help Sakura."

"E-eh!? I don't know how to deliver a baby! She needs a hospital!"

"It's too late for that!" Sakura turned her head and snapped at her best friend, but there was so much fear and desperation in her voice that no one blamed her for shouting. When I looked over, she had tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. I couldn't blame her for being afraid and intimidated. She has two lives under her care now, not just one and I don't think she's qualified to deliver anything other than a scroll.

"Ninja art: Sanitary circle!"

A circular, glowing green pattern appeared beneath Mikoto and Sakura hissed when her hands passed through its outer line.

"O-okay, Sakura. Just, tell me what to do, alright?" Ino dropped to her knees next to Sakura and scooted close enough to Mikoto to hold her hand.

"It's her third, so this shouldn't take long if all goes well."

"I— _ah_! I'm so sorry." Mikoto's apology came with tears and a pained hiss.

Sakura put a glowing hand near Mikoto's side.

"Three centimeters. We need privacy, _now_!" This time she snapped at Naruto and Shikamaru with a big-girl voice that demanded obedience.

Naruto took his jacket off and handed it to her with a blush and Shikamaru turned around, shoving his hands into his pockets and muttering under his breath.

"Um, I guess just put it on her knees or something," Naruto shrugged as Sakura took the jacket from him. She balled it up and put it under Mikoto's head instead.

"Let's go, boys, we're wasting time. Stick close to me. We're taking a short cut."

I jumped down into the field as far from the fight between Gaara's team leader and the referee as possible. Then, I cut the top of my arm with the sharp edge of my fan.

"Eeeeeh!? Yuzu-nee what are you doing!?" Naruto and Shikamaru were right on my heels.

I smirked. "Kushiose-no-jutsu!"

Poof! There appeared Kuriohi-sama, his mouth already over my cut. I dropped to my knee as he drained a hefty portion of my blood. It wasn't enough to make me faint, but I did feel a wave of dizziness fog up my mind for a moment.

"Hey! Get off my sist—mrphmrphrrrrr!"

Shikamaru crashed his palm over Naruto's mouth.

"Shhh! You can't offend summoned creatures, _idiot_!"

"Ah, what tasty blood. It has been quite a while, Yuzuha-chan."

"Y-yeah, it has." I bit my finger to seal the cut and wiped the sticky blood on my arm on my shirt.

"I see there is a great battle."

"Yeah, but that's not what I need your help for."

"Oh?"

"I need you to fly me and these two to a kid we need to catch up to."

"I see, well then, please get on."

Without hesitation, we jumped on his back. Kuroihi-sama took off into the air and from there I could see the snakes wreaking havoc through the village forest on their way to the village itself.

That's a big problem.

"Cool! Look how high we are!" Naruto laughed out loud, and Kuroihi-sama chuckled beneath us.

"Do you find this exciting, little human?"

"Yeah! This is awesome! I can see every— _ah_! Look at those snakes-ttebayo! They're ruining _everything_!"

He gaped and pointed at the beasts and the buildings they were slithering towards.

Dead civillians.

Or not.

As soon as they reached the building line, a huge burst of fire from the rooftops stopped all three in their tracks, and even pushed them back beyond the wall. More fire spouted at them from the wall itself and I realized that the police force was starting their ass-kicking spree along with the jonin stationed with them. With any luck, there would be no damage to the actual village or its people.

"Naruto, Shikamaru, listen up."

"Yeah?"

Shikamaru was dead silent and I realized that by the way he was clutching Naruto around his middle he was afraid, probably of the height we were at.

"I'm going to drop you off to where Sasuke is. Then, you three will do something to stop that kid. I have to do something about those snakes. I have faith in you, so don't screw up!"

I have faith in Naruto's ability to change Gaara's mind. He has to. He did it in canon, he should be able do it now. Maybe it's dumb letting him go, but as Itachi said, it's time to have some faith in the little ones.

"You go it, Yuzu-nee! Leave it to us!"

"Kuroihi-sama, please head South." I locked onto Sasuke's chakra signature. There were people after him. We flew for about ten seconds before I instructed Kuroihi-sama to swoop downwards just above the trees and just above Sasuke and his pursuers. We followed them from above the treetops. The canopy of leaves was so thick I doubt any of them knew what the hell was above their heads.

"Is it possible to do anything about his pursuers?"

"Must you even ask? I believe I'm mildly insulted." He opened his mouth his mouth before I could defend myself. We heard nothing but a little squeak, but when we looked down, all the trees in the sonic blast's path lifted out of the ground.

It was total destruction. Like, hurricane-Sandy-hitting-the-Jersey-Shore kind of destruction. There was nothing but dirt left where the sound hit and the logs and corpses of the team of sound nin after Sasuke ended up in an unrecognizable pile to the east. Kuroihi-sama swept down into the clearing he made and dropped off Naruto and Shikamaru. Sasuke leapt off a tree nearby and met them in the center.

"I dropped off some reinforcements!" I shouted at him. "Don't die!" And then I flew off towards the snakes.

When I reached the wall, the fighting stopped just for a moment as everyone gaped at the huge hovering bat above them, creating vibrations in the air with just his wings. I could feel Kuroihi-sama's pride in himself radiating off of his energy in waves.

"U-Uzumaki-san!" One Uchiha cop with wide, red eyes looked up at me with an open mouth.

"Sorry I'm late." I crossed my arms and planted my feet firmly on Kuroihi-sama's back.

"R-Run!" A Sand ninja dropped his weapon and ran.

"No you don't!" A Konoha jonin pierced the back of his neck with three well-aimed shuriken. It was like someone hit the "play" button after pausing a video. The battle continued as Kuroihi-sama and I flew towards the trio of snakes. Two of them slithered backwards, intimidated, but the one in the center, their leader, I presume, pushed forward with a hiss.

Kuroihi-sama sound-beamed him, but the snake dodged the attack.

Oh hell no. "Hang on. One sec."

I cut myself open again, and summoned two other blood-sucking bats to help him as we dodged lunging snakes. The two bats were huge, but they weren't as big as Kuroihi-sama. By the time I bit myself to close the cut the bats fed off of, I was lightheaded, and flat on Kuroihi-sama's back, whispering instructions and fleshing out a strategy I thought would work. I felt my grip on my consciousness slip, but I fought to stay awake. The nausea and tiredness were nightmarish, but I couldn't abandon my comrades below. If I passed out now, I'd fail everyone and I couldn't do that.

The bats and I had the advantage because we were in the air. Granted, the snakes could jump up, and they did, but they weren't coordinated once they was airborn. They could only go in one direction before the fell back down. Us? We were like sky demons, maneuvering around them like fighter jets, or iron man, whichever you like.

Two bats took on one snake at a time while the third distracted the other two flying around in circles and confusing the shit out of them while releasing disorientating sound waves.

It looked like the snakes were doing one of those dances the snake charmers make cobras do from their baskets in the movies. One well-aimed sound wave from Kuroihi-sama was all it took to literally rip the snake to shreds, its bone and guts and blood raining all over the forest below.

We repeated the process until we only had one snake left to deal with. At that point, there were crazy noises coming from the South. I lofted my head up weakly and saw that Gaara had transformed. Moments later, Naruto summoned his fog Boss and I knew that the battles were coming to an end.

Right as Kuroihi-sama took out the last snake, right as Gaara transformed back into his human shape, right as I felt jii-chan's chakra flicker out, I couldn't hang on any longer. I had lost too much blood. I was nauseous, my head hurt, and I couldn't stay conscious.

 _Jii-chan…_

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I glared at the birds singing on the window sill of the open window. The white curtains were all I needed to know that I was in Konoha's hospital. I sat up and ripped the IV out of the top of my hand, then pulled the sticky wires off of my chest. The heart monitor next to me flat-lined and I reached over to turn it off before someone somewhere heard it and alerted a nurse.

I was a little dizzy, but I told myself that that would go away. I have shit to do and there ain't no rest for the wicked.

I knocked over the vase of alstroemerias on the nightstand while getting out of bed and rushed to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth with the complementary tooth brush and tooth paste the hospital provided. When I got back to the hospital room, I found a set of clothes folded for me on the chair. I changed into them quickly and dove out the window, scaring the tunes out of the birds.

Jii-chan. I can't feel him.

I bit my lip against the emotion that threatened to stop me in my tracks and practically flew to the nearest recognizable chakra. It happened to be Kakashi. He was on some rooftop, dressed in black.

"Kakashi!" I was still dizzy and rattled the tiles when I landed. He just turned to me, solemn. The sadness in his visible eye was all I needed to know that I hadn't imagined it.

He was really gone. Jii-chan is really…

My eyes blurred.

"No." But I knew there was no point in denying it.

Kakashi closed his eye and turned away, looking back up at the cloudless, blue sky. It had rained recently. With the way I was feeling, the weather was offensive; it should have kept raining.

"Is…is the funeral over?"

"It just ended."

I disappeared without so much as a "my condolences" or an "I'm sorry." When I got to the graveyard, there was almost no one left at the funeral site, just a big old monument dedicated to him and a few workers in black placing flowers from the villagers in vases at its base.

There's a hollow feeling that death leaves you with. Wait, that's not right. Scratch that. There's a hollow feeling that the death of a loved one leaves you with. Dying yourself isn't so bad, but the death of someone else? It's like a chunk of your life has been erased, or blotted out.

And it's my fault he's gone.

If I had just not given a shit to stop and listen, this could have been avoided. I could have done something. He's gone. My mentor, my teacher, my _family_ is gone.

I didn't tell him that I loved him, or that I appreciated everything he did for me because I didn't plan on having him die.

I felt so empty I shut my feelings down entirely. All that was left was guilt and I let it chew on my soul because that's what I deserved.

I went home and found Naruto curled up on the bed, staring at nothing before he lifted his eyes to look at me. I walked over to the bed, sat down against his stomach and placed a hand on his shoulder.

It started to shake and his silence turned into hopeless sobs. I tugged on his black funeral top and he sat up, then curled into my lap, his feet kicking the pillow at the top of the bed onto the floor. I patted his head as he sobbed into my legs.

"I'm sorry!" He exhaled a cry and I waited for him to tell me why. I have no idea what he's apologizing for. If anything, I should be apologizing. A second of inattention on my part fucked everything up. "I-I wasn't at the hospital when you woke up! I'm sorry!"

"Foolish little brother." I ran my fingers through his hair. "That's a dumb thing to be sorry about. I needed the time alone and I think you did too."

"He was my grandpa. He's gone!"

More crying. All I want to do is sleep.

"He was my grandpa, too."

As soon as Naruto cried himself to sleep, I sobbed into a pillow. I wanted to cease existing, not because I hated how I felt, but because I hated how I _didn't_ or _couldn't_ feel sadness anymore. It was exhausting to be upset. It sapped all of the poor amount of energy I had.

All I could feel was hot, boiling rage. Anger was easier to understand and easier to deal with than that infinite, dreadful sadness. I hated Orochimaru. I hated Danzo. To an extent, I was pissed at Mira-sensei. But more than anything I hated myself. I was mad as fuck at everything and I used that rage to think of ways to kill Orochimaru. I thought through everything I knew about him and of every place I knew he'd be and when. It settled me and created a precarious kind of peace in my mind; the calm before the storm.

That revenge that I promised myself would come one day was the only thing that eased me into the sleep I desperately needed. I needed food and maybe iron pills, too, but sleep was my top priority. Anemia of any kind makes you so easily tired.

At about four thirty in the morning, there was a tapping at my window. It was a hawk and the scroll it handed me said that there was a meeting of the council of clans that I needed to report to ASAP.

I showered and dressed so fast in my shitty condition, the US Navy would be proud.

In the council hall, Dead-soul-Danzo, the crusty couple, and all the clan heads were sitting at a table, waiting for me.

"Ah, Uzumaki-san. How nice of you to finally join us." Danzo's tone was superficially polite and I think everyone heard the underlying insult in his words. If it weren't for what happened the one time with Yusui's dad, I would have lunged at him.

"I apologize for my lateness. I lost track of time in my grief." I took my seat at the light wooden table between Fugaku and Shikaku and tried not to vomit all over the round table.

Danzo stood out of his seat, using his fake-ass cane as a support. "Now that we are all present, some things need to be addressed."

Leadership of the village. I damn near stabbed him with my eyes. He's going to try to make a move and take the village.

"The Daimyo is currently on his way here to discuss and elect the next hokage. He and his entourage will not arrive for another week, however and we need to choose an interim leader until then. It is only natural that I will propose myself, as I have substituted before, however, in light of the situation, I am aware that the people may want a familiar face to look to for support. Discuss amongst yourselves. I will return in a half hour."

That said, he and the crusty couple left. When the doors shut there was a beat of silence before everyone started talking to the person next to them. I looked up at Shikaku, then Fugaku like a lost child.

"Your calculating mind is necessary," Fugaku spoke to Shikaku humbly. "If we come under attack, I could think of no better strategist to lead our forces."

Shikaku chuckled. "You're far too humble, Uchiha-san. Don't think people forgot that you were considered along with Yondaime-sama for the hat once upon a time."

"I'm in support of either of you," I quietly whispered and then smiled through my exhaustion. I got a pair of smiles back, and with that, Shikaku-san stood up and walked over to where Danzo's seat was. The whispers slowly died off and by the time he reached the chair, the room was silent, but heavy with tension. I'm assuming things were moving this fast because everyone had already been thinking of who to install as the interim village leader while I was knocked out in the hospital.

On a side note, I'm impressed that they actually waited for me to show before making a choice. I thought they'd just go ahead and choose someone without me, but I guess not. It made me feel important.

"Who are we choosing?" Shikaku looked to the person closest to his right. It happened to be Tsume-san.

She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "I would pick myself, but I am currently tied up with something internally that cannot be overlooked," she stated proudly, though I think it was a façade. Everyone knew that Tsume wasn't a good pick. She was easily stressed and overwhelmed and the job would be too much for her. "I choose Shikaku-san."

Round and round we went.

Choza-san nominated Inoichi-san, and Hiashi-san nominated Danzo, but for the most part, the majority of the table chose either Shikaku-san or Fugaku. Even Fugaku chose Shikaku-san. I was the last person to nominate someone, and for a moment, I stared back at the all the eyes that felt like they were drilling holes into my soul.

Shikaku or Fugaku? Shikaku or Fugaku? It's true that Shikaku-san has the strategic genius necessary to not only lead a village, but lead it through battle successfully if necessary. And battle was a high possibility. By now news may have traveled to our enemies that our village has no leader. Kiri can turn around and stab us in the back. Kumo can declare war and who would be there to deal with that shit? It had to be someone cunning and genius.

But then again, Fugaku-san is cunning as well. You wanna talk war and battle genius? Trust me, the Uchiha can bring it. Not only that, but Fugaku-san has extra revenue to spend on war.

On the other hand, Shikaku-san is respected by almost every shinobi of the village, no doubt about that. There would be zero argument if he were to take leadership temporarily, but then again, Fugaku-san was not only respected by shinobi, but by the villagers as well. And they were heartbroken over jii-chan's death. Even the grave keepers were sniffling yesterday when I saw his monument. The people and the shinobi of the village need someone they are comfortable with.

"F-Fugaku-san." I stuttered only because I was afraid of offending Shikaku-san, but he didn't look or feel the slightest bit flustered. Tsume-san rolled her eyes. She _really_ didn't like me. She must have lost a lot of men and dogs in the kyuubi attack to hate every single thing I said. And believe me, she really did hate everything that came out of my mouth.

All eyes turned back to Shikaku-san just as a wave of nausea and exhaustion made itself far too apparent to me. I haven't eaten and I lost a lot of blood. I shouldn't be here. I should be eating and resting at the hospital, but this is much too important to ditch right now. I'll have to just fight it.

Just hang in there, Yuzuha. Just a little longer.

Shikaku-san cleared his throat. "I'm nominating Fugaku-san."

Several eyebrows rose at that statement.

"My reasoning is this: This village is comprised of not only shinobi but of civillians as well."

See? We think a lot alike.

"Fugaku-san is the only leader I know that has the respect of our civilian population, the villages police force, and the shinobi population. Right now, the _whole_ village—all of it—needs someone that can connect with _all_ of its people, as well as carry the burden of the desk work. I can think of no other man or woman capable of that kind of administrative prowess."

Most of the table chuckled at that. Everyone present knew how much damn paperwork had to be looked through at the Uchiha police force HQ, especially since it opened up its ranks to the public. Fugaku-san blushed and looked off to the side as Shikaku-san continued. "He has a son who is capable enough to take care of his clan affairs while he is tending to the village's needs. I think I can speak for all of us, not only Tsume-san, when I say that we have our own internal issues to settle as leaders of our respective clans and as of yet, none of our heirs are ready to take up that kind of mantle." He paused to make eye contact with several others and look around the room. "What do all of you say?"

Agreements rang around the room. Shikaku-san's logic was hard to argue with, as always. In under ten minutes we had an interim leader picked.

"I will go get Danzo-sama," Tsume-san offered and left without another word. Shikaku-san took his seat next to me and placed a comforting hand atop my head.

"Don't stutter next time," he advised. "You can't let us intimidate you."

I was the furthest thing from intimidated. Please, try giving a ten-minute presentation in front of a classroom full of twenty-eight people who are staring at you blankly and a professor who is a harsh grader. Or try going on a job interview where you can't tell if your interviewer likes you. You'll know the feeling of intimidation then.

"Okay." I agreed with him anyway, because it wasn't worth it to explain the truth— that I didn't want to offend him and that picking a side tripped me up.

A minute later, Danzo and the crusty crew returned with Tsume-san. My worst enemy took his seat in an unnaturally good mood.

Heh. He thinks he's going to be picked. How revolting. It made my nausea worse.

"We have nominated Fugaku-san as our interim leader," Choza-san spoke for all of us.

Dude, Danzo's mood dropped so hard I expected a bolt of lightning and crash of thunder to shake the room. He didn't give anything away, though. Nothing, despite how angrily his chakra churned beneath his skin. It put me on edge and I shifted in my seat, ready to whip out a weapon if necessary.

I had to swallow some of my nervousness, because even though I was strong, Danzo still radiated an unknown mystery. I sized us up all the time, and I somehow never felt good enough. I always felt like he could take me off guard as easily as he could crack his knuckles. He probably could and I'd be fucked seven ways to Sunday.

"Understood. Unfortunately, because of the time that has been wasted thus far," Yeah he meant me, "there are only a few hours for you to take care of your affairs and report to the tower, Uchiha-san."

"I will be there in three." He stood up and bowed to the table. "Thank you all for your nomination. I must excuse myself."

After a few nods, he turned to leave and when the door shut, Danzo stood from his seat again.

"If everyone's concerns have been met, this meeting is adjourned."

He didn't even wait for anyone to say anything before he left. If we had concerns we were SOL.

* * *

I didn't get halfway to my house before I had to take a second to lean on a wall at the market. I wanted to throw up. Or die. Either would be okay at this point. I pressed the back of my head to the concrete behind me and tried to breathe through how shitty I felt.

The noises of the vendors setting up shop in the market reached my ears, but they sounded further away than they were supposed to be. The shadows of the tiny alleyway I was in blurred in front of me and I felt myself sliding down until I was in a seated position in the dirt below.

Food. I just need food.

* * *

-e-chan!"

Huh?

"Move over, Naruto. She needs a hospital and _fast._ "

Shisui? Shisui will get me food. He always feeds me.

"Food," I groaned, but my voice cracked in my throat. Water. I need water too.

"Nee-chan!"

I heard the murmurs of a concerned crowd nearby.

"She's fine. There's nothing to see here. Please don't crowd the area." It was an authoritative voice I didn't recognize. Probably a cop.

I'm so nauseous. I turned my head and opened my eyes to see the dirt off to my side right before my stomach heaved. Nothing came up, but my eyes still watered.

"I think you need a blood transfusion." Shisui's voice was soothing and when I turned, I saw two pairs of eyes, one blue the other coal, both equally concerned. Shisui was in a crouched position in front of me and Naruto was straight-up on his knees next to him and practically in my face.

"Mmmm~no," I whined, "no hospitals. Food." I grunted and lifted my hand, placing it on the concrete wall behind me. I tried to stand, but I felt weak and anemic and failed.

Whatever. Just gotta try again.

"Oh no no." Shisui placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down with a shake of his head.

"I'm fine. I just need to eat."

"Yeah right! Passing out is not 'fine' Yuzu-nee!" Naruto was upset, and I caught his glare when I looked at him.

"You made us and half the shinobi population worry. Half the police force was looking for you."

"Sorry." I reached a hand out to Naruto.

He took it and squeezed it tightly. "I thought you left without saying goodbye," he murmured sadly.

"It's against house rules to leave without leaving a note. You know I'd never." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I'm sure I just ended up looking like death instead.

"Naruto, take this and get your nee-chan some sushi."

Naruto looked over at Shisui with an open mouth and an angry brow. He took a breath to protest, but something transpired between them that I couldn't read. I couldn't see the look in Shisui's eyes, but whatever it was made Naruto reconsider his argument to stay by my side.

He gently took the wallet out of Shisui's hand and slid it into his pocket. "Alright."

"Meet us back at my house." He slid an arm under my legs, and another behind my back.

"I can walk," I argued, but Shisui shook his head of curls and lifted me as he stood from his crouched position.

"You've caused enough worries for one day. I'm not going to parade your poor condition through the streets on top of all of this."

My head felt like it was being squished right between my eyes, so I placed it on his collar bone.

"I'm sorry, Naru-chan. I didn't mean to worry you," I apologized again.

I tried not to throw up on Shisui as he adjusted me in his arms.

"It's alright. I'm glad you're sort of alright-ttebayo!"

I laughed at the "sort of alright" part, but it hurt my head, forcing me to groan in pain against Shisui's high shirt collar.

"See you later." Shisui took off and in a flash we were at his house.

"I'm gonna hurl!" I shouted and pulled my head away from his torso right at his front door, but he held me fast.

"H-hey! You'll fall!"

I took three, fast and deep breaths, horrified that I'd puke on him, but nothing came up. Shisui made a clone and the clone unlocked the door and shut it behind us. It poofed away at the same time he placed me on his living room couch.

"I'll be back with a blanket. Hang on."

"I'm _fine_ ," I insisted, "I don't need a blanket." Even though I did feel cold.

He sighed and pinched the bridged of his nose. "Yuzuha." His tone was no-nonsense. When his arm fell away from his face, he looked at me and shook his head. "I can't decide which is worse; when you harp on me for not taking care of myself, or when you don't take care of yourself and then try to convince me you're okay when you're not. What do you think?"

I glared at him. "You're not making my headache any better."

He snorted and bowed. "My apologies, your highness. If you'll excuse me, I'll go fetch your bedding."

I laughed out loud and it hurt my head and stomach again. I pressed my face into the couch and took a deep breath.

God, this sucks.

Shisui jumped over the railing of the second floor a minute later and before I knew it I was wrapped in a cotton sheet and resting my head on a fluffy, blue pillow. He crashed right next to my legs and leaned back over them to stretch out his back. When he was done, he leaned forward, placed his elbows on his thighs and crossed his forearms as he turned his head to look at me.

"Why didn't you eat when you left the hospital? No, wait, more importantly, why didn't you tell the hospital you were leaving in the first place? That wasn't smart of you."

"I…when I woke up, I didn't sense jii-chan. I felt him die, Shisui, when I was fighting the snakes, right before I passed out. I left because I had to see for myself. Then, I went home because I knew Naru-chan would need me. I stayed with him and then right after that I was summoned to a council meeting. There just wasn't any time."

He shook his head. "Don't ever do that again. Naruto almost fainted when he saw you on the ground and I lost my appetite. Imagine how I felt, waking up this morning to find him wailing at my door that you were missing. Not cool."

"I'm sorry. I tried to make it home. I would've ate if I made it home."

"Well, you're safe now, that's all that matters. Let me see if I don't have any un-expired orange juice." He grinned at me and jumped to his feet.

"I bet you half a paycheck you won't find any."

"I'm not _that_ dumb. I'm not betting anything, you're probably right." As he moved away from me he raised his voice. "I've been gone so long I wouldn't be surprised if there's a whole new species in there. I don't even know why I keep anything in my refrigerator anymore." A few seconds later he shouted, "Yep! Expired!" He came back and dropped himself back onto the couch next to my legs. He gave me an apologetic smile and shrugged. "So, the council really stirred up the clan."

"Oh. Yeah, that. It must've gotten busy. A lot of us wanted Fugaku-sama to lead for now. He's a good choice."

"Yeah, but Itachi looks like he's going to commit suicide any moment now," he replied in a grave tone. "He didn't get ten minutes to himself before they dumped everything clan-related on him."

Shit, Fugaku-san wasn't fucking around. It's not even one in the afternoon yet and poor Itachi is already balls-deep in his father's work.

"Now I feel bad. Maybe I should have voted for Shikaku-san."

"Nah, the old man's pretty happy and the villagers are glad they have a familiar face to put to their leadership."

"What's Itachi doing now?"

Shisui shrugged. "Probably reading the report that you've been found and rearranging the fifty percent of officers he sent out to find you."

I winced. "I am _so_ sorry." Oops.

"You can tell him that yourself when you're better. Speaking of getting well soon, Mikoto-sama had her baby." His smile was ear-to-ear.

I gasped and then choked back another dry-heave. "I forgot about that! Is she okay? When I last saw her…well, it wasn't good."

"Sakura-chan is amazing. She delivered the baby safely. It's a girl like we said it would be! You should have seen Sasuke and Naruto when they went to meet her."

"Were they heartbroken?" I chuckled. They wanted a little brother so badly.

"No they fell in love. Little Suzume-chan laughed when they held her, even with her eyes shut."

"Suzume?"

"Her laugh sounds like a bell, I'm not joking. You have to meet her. Sakura-chan said her cries sounded like bells, too when she came out."

"Poor Sakura. She was terrified when I left her."

"Yeah she passed out as soon as Sasuke showed up."

"That whole day was a mess."

"Yeah. Yeah, it was."

He looked down, a sadness blanketing his presence. I reached over and grabbed his pant leg. I wanted to lean forward and put a hand on his shoulder, but I was too weak to even do that.

"I shouldn't be complaining. He was family to you. _I_ should be comforting _you_."

He placed his hand over mine and squeezed. I didn't have enough blood in my body to blush at his touch. I thought about squeezing his hand back, but just then the front door sounded like it was kicked open and his hand flew off just in time for Naruto to pop around the corner of the hallway and into the living room.

"I got the sushi!" he cheered, but Shisui was glaring at him. Naruto gave him a nervous look and tried to smile.

"Uh…what's up, nii-chan?"

"My door that's what. It sounds like you put a hole through my wall!"

The door handle _definitely_ hit the wall.

"Uh…" Naruto walked back into the hallway.

"And take off your shoes!"

"Nee-chan has her shoes on and she's on the couch!" he countered in an offended tone.

"Your nee-chan's having an emergency! That's different!"

"Uhm… I made a hole…"

Shisui smacked his forehead so hard I almost felt the sting of his palm on my own forehead.

Naruto came back into the living room rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry… But I can fix it! I think. E-heh-heh."

"Nevermind, just put the food down."

Naruto placed three, huge brown bags on the table and Shisui went pale.

"Is my wallet okay?"

"Uh… that depends."

"On what?"

"I mean, physically, it's okay, see?" He pulled the wallet out of his jacket pocket. "But I used up your cash."

Shisui smacked his forehead again, but this time he kept it there and put his elbow on his knee.

"I needed that cash."

"For what?"

"Chicken butt. It doesn't matter, it's gone now." He leaned over and ripped open the first bag. My stomach growled so loudly I almost went deaf from it. Shisui chuckled and passed me a plastic container of food that I pretty much inhaled. We ate in silence and by the time we were finished my nausea and headache subsided significantly. I still felt like shit, though, so I laid back with a full stomach and closed my eyes.

"Hey, can I sleep over tonight, too?" Naruto lifted his head from his last piece of sushi.

"I don't see why not."

"Cool! I'll be back later with stuff! I have something to do."

With a grin he got up from the floor, moved around the coffee table and bent over to wrap his arms around me. I squeezed him as tightly as I could.

"Thanks for getting the sushi."

"Thanks for being my sister."

I chuckled and ruffled the hair on the back of his head. "Thanks for being my little brother."

He let me go, and turned to Shisui to grin at him.

"See ya later, nii-chan!"

"Knock before you barge in next time!" Shisui called after him. Naruto waved over his back and I heard the door shut behind him just a moment later.

"He reminds me of myself when I was his age. Was I that energetic?" He turned to me with an embarrassed expression as he waited for me to answer him.

I laughed. "You still are, when I do get to see you."

Again, that rare melancholy commandeered his expression, and he said, "I'm sorry for not being there, during the attack I mean. I could have made a difference."

My heart froze over at the mention of what happened to jii-chan. I didn't feel like feeling sadness.

"What happened, happened. I was right there and I failed. I _definitely_ could have done something." I was squeezing my fists around the pale blue cotton sheet before I even realized it. Shisui's larger hands covered mine in a comforting gesture and I relaxed my grip.

"You saved the villagers by pushing back those snakes. He would be proud of you. People are still talking about you and that fight; not only the police force, but the people that saw it, too."

He doesn't get it. If he knew who I was and what I knew he'd hate me as much as I hate myself. What are we even doing, touching like this? His hands feel so nice, but his warmth and affection is the last thing I deserve.

I slid my hands out from beneath his and pulled my knees to my chest , wrapping my arms around my legs. I missed his warmth the moment I could no longer feel his skin touching mine, but again, it was the furthest thing from what I deserved, and he deserved so much better than I could give him. I wish he'd just love someone else already, because as time went by, it was getting harder to not respond to his affection.

As much as I keep people at arm's length, I want to be loved and touched like any other human being. It would help quash that want if he fell for someone else and left me by myself.

"I could have made a difference and I didn't. You wouldn't forgive me if you saw just how close I was to changing his fate," I murmured. It's time to make him realize how horrible of a person I really am.

Do it, Shisui. Hate me and leave me alone.

"Don't be ridiculous. What if you _had_ been there with him? You might have died. I don't want to say that I'm glad he's dead, but if fate absolutely had to choose someone that day, I'm glad it wasn't you. Does that make me a horrible person?"

I looked up into his determined eyes, then away.

"You're the furthest thing from a horrible person."

How could anyone with that kind of genuine smile and caring soul ever be labeled anything remotely similar to "horrible?" Out of the two of us, he's an angel. I'm the disgusting liar of our duo. He doesn't lie to people's faces about who he is on the daily. Remembering that made me fling off the sheets.

"I should go."

I tried to stand up but he pulled me down by my wrist. His strength was amazing. "You're in no condition to go anywhere. What's Naruto going to think when he comes back here and you're not around?" He raised his eyebrows in challenge and just then I felt so blah I gave in and dropped back down to the couch.

"One day, Shisui, you might just wish you weren't this nice to me."

If I ever tell you the truth, you'll hate me for sure.

"I'm just going to say that that's the dumbest statement that ever came out of your pretty mouth and not even bother dissecting it. Now get back under your sheet and go to sleep. I have a wall to poorly patch up."

He stood with a groan and started collecting the empty containers and bags we left on the table.

I still didn't have enough blood in my body to blush…

He called me pretty.

* * *

I stayed at Shisui's house for two whole days during which I had several visitors. Sasuke, Sakura, Utau and even Kakashi paid me a visit.

Shisui was a quiet roommate, unlike Naruto. The way they both woke me at times was way different. Maybe once upon a time, Shisui would have been just as loud as my kid brother, but his recent consideration just shows you how much he's changed and matured.

While I slept, the two of them either trained together or brought me books on seals so I could work on my ultimate seal; the one that will help me end Madara's terrorism on this earth.

Naruto told me about his shunshin juts that he learned from Shisui. It had saved his teammates against Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, but it was still impressive to see him teleport from one end of the living room to the next, laughing his ass off the entire time.

It was day two of my mandatory resting period, and the boys were out on some errands. My nightmare of a best friend was currently sitting on a pretty, wooden chair pulled up next to my "royal couch" as Shisui had dubbed it. When I wasn't sleeping in the guest bedroom this was my spot. He still carried me to and from both places every morning and night even though I fought him tooth and nail to just set me down because I could walk, damn it! I was no longer dizzy, nor nauseous and the weak feeling I had went away after Utau brought over some blood-repleneshing pills from the hospital yesterday.

Speaking of her...

"So, what's he look like without his shirt off?"

By now I had enough blood to blush with. I glared at her and refused to look flustered by putting my hands on my cheeks. The smirk never left her face.

"I have no idea. Why do you keep pushing the subject!? Stop it already!" I lost my patience and finally brought my claws out.

"Okay, fine, fine. Is he a good kisser at least?"

" _Utau!"_ I chastised her with a shocked expression, to which she snickered like a pretty little devil.

"Not there yet? Okay, fine then, but you can't tell me nothing has happened so far."

"Nothing like that has happened!" I shouted, grateful that the house was empty aside from us.

"You sure?" She leaned in close and pinned me down with her large, dark eyes. I remembered his hands on mine the other day and my heart skipped a beat. The guilt must have shown on my face.

"AHA! Something _did_ happen! Tell me now!" She pointed an accusing finger at me.

"It was _nothing_. You're making me think about it like it was something, but it was nothing. I swear." I put my hands up in surrender.

"I don't buy it. Tell me what happened. Or I'm going to get Naruto to set you two up."

"He would _never_ betray me like that!" I made twin fists and smashed them onto my lap in my conviction.

"Oh? Every man has a price. His might just be unlimited ramen any time he wants."

I felt as if she just strolled over to my coffin and shut the lid. Naruto might just say a few specific things for a prize that juicy and delicious. Set up his sister with someone he likes and looks up to, for ramen? Done. Easy choice.

"I hate you."

"Actually, you love me. Now spill. What happened?"

I sighed. "I was upset. He just put his hands on mine. That's it. Nothing serious."

She slapped her hands on her thighs with a shocked expression, like she couldn't believe I was that stupid. "Are you kidding me!? Of course that's serious! Guys don't just do that to girls platonically! Especially not guys like Shisui that happen to really like you! You're stupid. Just go out with him."

" _No_. I can't."

Especially not now that the third fucking hokage died when I could've done something about it. I'd never be able to tell him that. I'd never be able to tell him the truth now. I'd rather just do what I came here to do and die peacefully on my own without ever saying a word about who I really am.

Utau face-palmed.

"Look, he's not going to keep quiet about how he feels forever. What's going to happen when he tells you how he feels? Can you really sit here and tell me that you'll say no? Especially since you like him too, you stupid pile of ice?"

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, daring me to prove her wrong with her eyes.

"You don't get it. It's not my goal to find someone to be with forever. It's not my goal to date anyone, period. He'll be happier with someone else. Trust me, it's for his own good."

She shook her head and sighed. "I don't see how you could be so thick-skulled."

"You don't have to try to understand me. I'm not asking you to do that. Just please accept the fact that I will never allow myself to be with anyone. Especially not Uchiha Shisui. He deserves much better than me."

She shook her head. "I can't accept that. I'm allergic to that kind of bullshit, sorry."

I face palmed and just then, the door clicked open.

"Alright ladies, get your napkins out! Lunch is here!"

Utau grinned at me.

I know, I know. Who doesn't love a man that shows up with food?

* * *

I eventually went to see Mikoto-sama and meet the newest addition to her family. Mikoto-sama couldn't stop beaming at her. She was glowing and happy and all those things that new moms usually are. The baby slept well, so she didn't even look tired.

Suzume-chan looked squishy like all other newborns and was asleep the entire time I saw her. Don't ask me whose eyes or nose or whatever she has. I will never understand how people can tell. Infants all look like potatoes in blankets to me. Although, Zu-chan was a cute potato in a blanket, just like Naruto was.

Seeing Mikoto-sama so happy eased the pain of the recent death we all experienced. Zu-chan became the little light in our darkness. She reminded me that even though someone important and loved and cherished died that day, someone important and loved and cherished was also born that day.

Secretly, I prayed that a little bit of jii-chan's spirit touched her own. It made me feel like he never left, and I think the others secretly thought the same. There were smiles in our group because of that baby, so believe me when I say I was genuinely grateful that she was born and that Mikoto was there that day.

The rest of that week from hell went smoothly. Except for the day the daimyo arrived. That day was shit and you're about to find out why.

It started normal enough. I took a nice calm stroll through town with Naruto while the crusty council met privately with the daimyo. He wanted to train, but I wanted to chill, so we fed birds at the park for a little bit, and then Sasuke and Sakura came around to collect him for some team training. They had new moves to show each other, or rather, Sakura had new moves she wanted to test out on them. I smirked a little to myself at that. Mira-sensei must have rubbed a little bit of her brutality off on the rosette.

I had a bad feeling—an instinctual kind of feeling— so I paced around the village a bit. Some villagers even smiled at me when they saw me. I guess Shisui wasn't kidding when he said people were impressed with my fight. Some people came up to me to thank me for saving their house and protecting their lives. "My children were on the top floor of our building! Thank you for keeping those beasts at bay!" As a parent that must have been horrifying to know that your kids are in the building about to be smashed to pieces.

When I couldn't take the feeling anymore, I expanded my sensory field and then, I felt it. It was a huge, massive chakra that felt like the dark ocean that weighed on top of the Titanic under the sea. Looking at it was like looking at the aftermath of a shipwreck: just death and water. The chakra next to it was small, but sturdy, like metal. It didn't have a quick flow like Itachi or Shisui's did, but it was strong in its own stagnant kind of way.

Water. Death. Water. Death. Kakashi was standing in front of the two chakras.

Kisame. It was time for the next event, but so soon? I was gone in a flash. I ran so fast the speed of light would have had a hard time keeping up. I slid to a stop on the water where a lake resided near where the Naka river started to flow outside of the village.

Why is Kakashi alone? Didn't he have help in canon?

We were almost shoulder-to-shoulder when I skidded to a halt next to him on the water, and I had already unsealed my fans. When I looked at our opponents, I was in shock. Yes, one of them was Kisame. But the other was a girl I didn't recognize.

Okay, just sayin', this is me coming from a perspective where my best friend has some serious style and class like _all the time_ : this bitch's style was ass.

Purple eyeshadow around the eyes paired with heavy mascara that she didn't need and matching purple lipstick. I couldn't decide whether it complemented her sharingan, or threw the red of it off. Her Akatsuki cloak was open and cropped short, and beneath it she wore—I shit you not— a mesh body suit with a loose, cropped tank top and tight, black shorts, tucked into tall, red boots with a heel. It wasn't a stilleto, thank God, but it was a slight, chunky heel. The only efficient thing I could find on her was a sword, but even that was the size and length of her entire back side from her shoulder blades to the curve of her calves. Furthermore, it was made of what looked like a hundred or so metal feathers. It makes no sense. Where did she get a sword like that? I felt chakra in it and wondered if it was alive in a way, like the Samehada.

Anyway, that's not my point. What irritated me the most about her was that she had somehow found bleach somewhere to give her jet-black Uchiha hair a purple ombre. I almost face-palmed. What is the point of that? Her hair was gorgeous and she ruined it!

Girl, I'm going to make you regret wearing those shoes. When her eyes landed on me, a look of understanding crossed her face.

"Ah, so _you're_ the reason why my Itachi-sama hasn't shown up at Akatsuki! You're not canon at all!"

 _What!?_ Is she…? Does she know? How does she know!? Is she reincarnated too!?

If that's the case then the hell couldn't _I_ have been born Uchiha? God _damn it_ this universe hates me! I get the short end of the stick with no badass sharingan or ability to burn shit to the ground, and this bitch gets everything that would have been beneficial to me and then goes and fucking joins Akatsuki in the hopes that she'd meet _Itachi_ of all people!? Wouldn't it have been better to just go to Konoha?

Oh hell no! Hell. To. The. No. Nu-uh. Girlfriend is _not_ getting away with this. There better be an explanation for this. She's _got_ to be leaking information on Akatsuki somewhere, or is secretly helping Konoha or this world in some way.

When I thought back to every trip I took with Jiraiya-sensei and realized that no, she hadn't leaked shit because we haven't found out jack squat about them, it became apparent to me that she really was on the wrong side of this story. At least, the wrong side in _my_ eyes.

What the actual fuck? I swear, I have a headache. There is only so much illogical shit I can handle in a day. Who knows, maybe she's one of those that just really likes the bad guys. Some people are just like that. I had a few friends in the last life that were like that. One of them fell madly in love with Orochimaru. There was nothing wrong with that, of course. Not over there. But here, real people were dying, and instead of lending me a god-damn hand and helping me change shit for the better this bitch is dying her hair, painting her toes and fucking contributing to the demise of this world.

Well, too bad for her that I won't stand for that shit.

"How do you know Itachi?" Kakashi demanded and raised his kunai. "You're not from Konoha, but you have the sharingan. Explain yourself!"

I kept my mouth shut and let Kakashi do the talking. Last thing I need is for this girl to incriminate me.

"Oh my gaaaaaawd! Kakashi-sama _actually_ just talked to me!" Everyone looked at her like she was crazy when she squealed in joy and jumped up and down on the water like the child she wasn't. I had to fight to look confused because I understood her English. It took my brain a moment to switch over, but I understood her.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She's trying to make me blow my cover. If there's any recognition in my face at all, any whatsoever that anyone sees, I'm fucked.

"So, you have to tell me! Which part of the world are you from? You're kind of quiet so maybe you don't understand English? ¿Se hablas español? Does that sound familiar? Ooooh I'd be so happy if you were latina! We'd get along so well!"

"What on Earth is she saying?" I turned to Kakashi and spoke in this world's language. Then, I turned to her and narrowed my eyes. "Who are you!"

She chuckled with a knowing look in her eyes and switched back to Japanese. "Uchiha Erina. But you can call me Stephanie."

Stephanie. _Stephanie_. Fucking really?

Just then, a squadron of Uchiha cops showed up, four of them in total with Itachi leading them in his usual clothing plus an Uchiha police force armband around the arm of his shirt.

He looked tired and unhappy, and even though his face was neutral, just by looking at him I could tell that he was beyond pissed that someone would dare attack the village.

Stephanie blushed, squealed again and spun in a circle. "Itachi-sama~!"

I'm going to fucking murder her.

"How do you know me?" The demand was clear in his tone. He was not in the mood to fuck around. This was anbu Itachi speaking and everyone better listen the fuck up.

"How does she have the sharingan? She's not from the clan!" A brown-haired cop in a navy bandana pointed a finger at her, a kunai in his other hand.

"A love child maybe?" Another cop whispered. His hair was darker and slicked back.

He has a point, where did this girl even come from?

"Alright you crazy bitch. You met all your idols. Now let's take the kyuubi and go," Kisame commanded and then took his sword off his back.

"Of course, Kisame-sama! Anything for you!" She blew him a kiss to which he glared at, and then reached behind her back for the hilt of her sword. At that moment everyone on our side readied their weapons. She giggled and what happened next was unexpected. The metal feathers detached from the core of her sword and they flew at me with too much precision to be anything but the work of chakra strings.

I should take this second of time to mention how much I hate pupeteers. There aren't many of them, but they still piss me off. They're fucking annoying and with me being such a direct person, I hate how they hide behind shit. We just don't mesh well.

I dove back because I didn't know how to proceed. I had never met someone that could use steel that way. Every one of her blades arced towards me from every direction: up, down, left, right and everywhere in between. Normally, the logical thing to do would be to throw a million kunai at the center, where the person is and the blades aren't. However, she had feathers covering her whole front, too. There were just _that_ many of them. All I could do was jump back and see how far they would follow.

She had a never-ending range of attack. Those mother fucking feathers chased me everywhere. There was nowhere to run unless I wanted to dip out and go back into the village but that wasn't happening.

Fuck. It's not over yet, though. The battle waged on and as everyone realized that Kisame's Samehada sucked chakra like a Hummer sucked gas, Itachi waited for her weapons to be far enough away before he struck, throwing three kunai her way. She dodged him, still focusing on me and cackling, but didn't expect him to strike his kunai with shuriken, changing their trajectory. Only her sharingan helped her twist her body in just the right way to avoid getting her arteries sliced open. Instead, she earned herself a few razor-thin cuts. One on her leg, another on her neck and a third in her other leg.

She flipped backwards and pulled her blades with her. That was when I summoned my chains and started whipping at her with them. She dodged and parried, twisting and weaving her chakra strings around my chains, her blades avoiding my attacks like flies avoiding the swish of a horse's tail. It was all I could do to bat the steel feathers away when they neared me.

"Alert the other three on the list I gave you today! Now!" Itachi ordered his squadron of officers.

"Yes!" They agreed in unison and jumped away, carrying their drained teammate, the skin of his arm shredded and chewed up by Samehada.

Kakashi, Itachi and I dove backwards, putting distance between us and them.

We need a plan, and fast. That girl, Erina, or Stephanie or whatever, was unnerving me. She has to be deleted. Erased. Gone. My existence and life here will be threatened if she lives.

It's me or her. Life or death. It's just like any other battle.

"There's only two of us, Erina. This was a bad idea." My ears picked up the nervous tone in Kisame's whisper from our distance. So they know they might just be fucked. That means we stand a chance.

"He isn't confident," I whispered, knowing that my allies would hear me. "And for whatever reason, that girl seems to think she knows me."

"She does have her eyes on you," Kakashi agreed.

"Let me fight her and see if I can pull any information out of her."

"That may not be a good idea," Itachi refuted and stepped closer to me. "Look at her face. In her mind she has the upper hand. She's hiding something dangerous and if you're her— _their_ — target, it may be best for you to return to the village proper where you can be protected."

"And have that psycho chase me all the way there? No way. That puts the people in danger. It puts Naruto in danger. Not happening. I'm going to go in blind. She might be able to read my moves, but I'll be able to read hers just as well." Plus, if she's attaching chakra to her feathers, some of it will pulse through the metal and I'll be able to avoid them.

Itachi smiled at me. "Perhaps we should start calling you 'Sharingan-no-Yuzuha.'"

"That's my moniker. Think of something else," Kakashi grumbled.

I untied my black bandana from my wrist and tied it over my eyes, just in time to dodge another volley of feathers that pushed me back and away from my comrades. I knew she was trying to separate me from them and it was fine by me. I wanted to chew her out for helping Akatsuki.

"How many jiinchuriki have you killed?" I growled under my breath as we reached the very edge of the lake. She giggled.

"That's a se-c-ret!" she sang. "I didn't know you could fight blind. Eye of Kagura, huh? Nice progress, by the way; the Uchiha are alive! I'm a little mad, though, because you took my Itachi-sama away from me! You're not his girlfriend now or anything, are you?"

She dodged my chains and some shuriken almost effortlessly, and I danced in between her chakra strings and around her feathers, trying to sever the strings with my chains, but it didn't work. They were as malleable as moving water and where I used my sensory skills and chakra control to twist and move my chains, she used her sharingan to help manipulate and predict the trajectory of her feathers.

God fucking damn it.

"Itachi has nothing to do with this! How did you get here!"

"Iunno. Probably the same way you did. I kinda just woke up in this body. Hey, did you know that there was a small community of Uchiha so far beyond Suna that it's almost on the other side of this earth? Cool huh? I killed them all to get into Akatsuki. It wasn't easy, but I did it! I think I'm one of Pein-sama's favorites!"

"You killed real people you idiot! How could you!" With a battle cry, I lunged at her, using my chains to parry all attacks heading my way, but she jumped back and flicked a row of feathers upwards at me, forcing me to take a step back instead.

Of she's so defensive about me getting near her, she's a long-distance only fighter. 'Convenient piece of information to know. I just have to get close enough to her to fuck her up.

I can't believe she killed the only other Uchiha in existence. What the actual fuck. She laughed of course, as if it were actually funny.

"They're not real, _stupid_. None of this is. Don't you get it? This is our personal hell. It's what we get for being bad in our lives; a world of war and danger and it isn't even real. I mean, it's kind of cool that we're getting punished in Naruto, but you realize that we're dead, right? There's no going back. I'm pretty sure when I die here, I'll just come back, so I might as well join the bad guys—Ooh! Nice shot! Close but no cigar— and have some fun! You should join us! Did you know that Friday nights are officially cookie nights!? I always make chocolate chip! Or are you a peanut butter kind of gal?"

I hacked and slashed and smacked with all my might but she was like a snake or a blob of water. She somehow contorted and stretched just enough to avoid everything I threw her way. I've never faced an opponent this good at dodging my chains.

Fuckfuck _fuck_. I need to get her by surprise, somehow.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested in doing idiotic things!" I tossed more kunai at her, and when they fell under water, I had an idea.

"It's not _idiotic!_ This isn't real, remember?"

An explosion went off somewhere to the side. Everyone moved to the opposite side of the lake, so I felt comfortable shouting, "It _is_ real! These people are real! Everything here is just as real as it was in the old life!" I tossed an exploding kunai at her. She parried it and it exploded near me, but not close enough to damage me. I took used the blast as a cover, took a deep breath, and let myself sink below the surface of the water. I suppressed my chakra until it was almost nonexistent.

The lake water was opaque enough for me to be unseen. I didn't wait more than three seconds before I shot my chains up at where I knew she was, trying to take her by surprise. She jumped away just in time, but I knew that I had cut her based on the way her left leg twitched.

I couldn't see, but I knew she was bleeding. Blood is good, because now, she'd grow weaker, faster and as far as I know, Kisame is no medic. They'll have to retreat soon.

I swam up towards the surface, and when I tried to lift myself onto the surface of the water, I had to dodge a vicious kick the moment my head rose out of the lake. After dodging a few of her strikes and an exploding kunai, I realized she was trying to keep me under water. It was a dangerous place to be for more than a few seconds. Kisame could let some sharks loose any time he wants, and if that wasn't her strategy, then she was trying to drown me, the fucking bitch, because any time I lifted my head above water, it was like playing whack-a-mole.

With no other choice, I swam to my left, where I knew there was land. She wasn't expecting me to do that, and I managed to gulp down air as I pulled myself onto the grass. I didn't get to my feet fast enough, though, because I could feel her close to me. She was flying at me like a missile, and I would definitely get hit somewhere.

I tensed my whole body in preparation for the strike, but the pain never came. Instead, I heard her cry out, and when I lifted my head, she was rolling off to the side. It took her a moment to recover and scramble on all fours, but by then, Shisui's wispy chakra, and tall, glowing figure stood in front of me, protectively, hands wrapped around two objects that I assumed were kunai.

"Shisui!"

"Reinforcements are coming. Are you okay?" He was in battle-mode, and the concern in his tone was nonexistent. It was more like a demand for the status of my well-being, commanding in nature.

"I'm fine, but she's something else."

"No. Fucking. Way. Oh my gawd it's _actually_ Shisui! Like, really, really, the-real-thing Shisui!" She squealed again and jumped to her feet, lacing her fingers while somehow still keeping her hundreds of feathers afloat. "Oh my god, before I kill you can you _please_ give me your autograph!? I have a feather reserved somewhere for you! I'd _love_ to have your name inked on it!"

"How does she know me?" He turned his head towards me, his tone a low murmur.

"I don't know. But she knows Kakashi-san and Itachi, too."

"The officer told me that these two are after you. Yuzu, I want you to get the _hell_ out of this area. Go somewhere in the village and hide."

"Did you really expect me to agree to that? Be honest."

I felt his grimace. "No, but it was worth a shot."

"Your sharingan is _so_ pretty! And I love your eyelashes too!"

She summoned her feathers, lifted her arms a little and then pushed them forward and out. Again, those fucking things flew at us from all directions. Shisui tossed a small, experimental fireball at them, and dodged. When the feathers continued on their trajectory towards where he was before the blast of fire, I think we both realized that if she couldn't see us, and her vision was blocked, she didn't know where exactly to throw those things.

I wondered if Shisui was going to try to genjutsu her. Or maybe barrage her with fire long enough for me to stab her somewhere.

When he kept tossing fire directly at her, I knew that that was our strategy. I kept throwing kunai at her, giving her so many more things to pay attention to, putting her sharingan to the test. I even hid kunai within Shisui's fire jutsu. She parried every knife at the last second with two feathers she kept close to her at all times.

As we bombarded her, I made sure to incrementally move closer to Shisui with every fireball he shot. I was running out of kunai, so we would have to end this fight soon. He shot two, simultaneous fireballs at her, during which I made a clone that kept throwing knives at Stephanie while she was distracted with trying not to get cooked alive or skewered.

Right after that, Shisui made a grand fireball, which I chased right behind. She jumped out of its range, and I could see her raise those two feathers, expecting to parry the kunai that were going to shoot at her from the fireball the moment she jumped far away enough from it.

I wrapped my chakra-chain shield around my body, took a deep breath and then threw myself through the swirling fire of Shisui's chakra.

I exploded out of the fireball, moving all my tiny chains to shield my back from the fire behind me. I heard her gasp as I reached out and tackled her with all my weight and a battle cry like no other. She tried to stab me in the back, but the steel of her feathers couldn't pierce my shield. One of her knives cut my bandana, and with a cackle, she reached up and wrapped a hand around my throat before I could sink my teeth into her arm like I planned to. She squeezed. Horrified, my eyes flew open, and that was the worst mistake I could have ever made.

Her sharingan was a different pattern. I noted its small waves curving up and down around the pitch black pupil decorated with three tiny spikes, as she broke something in my throat. I heard the sickening snap and crack in my head before I saw her lips move with no sound behind them. I felt a burning in my chest. I couldn't look down to see, but I knew it. She had pierced my heart. I had failed to notice the feather hidden in her stupid, cropped coat.

And that's when everything went dark as I died for the second time. I was slipping away, my mind moving through what felt like molasses, and I thought I could hear someone calling my name.

 _Yuzuha_.

* * *

"Yuzuha!" The scream shredded **Shisui's** vocal chords before he could think to stop himself and save his voice.

Tsukuyomi. How was it even possible that this woman had the same ability as Itachi? Were there only a select few techniques the mangekyo was capable of? Did those few techniques repeat in different people?

 _Her mind._

Shisui gaped as Yuzu screamed loud enough to crack her voice. She wasn't even aware that she was doing it. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and the shield behind her shattered. She was somewhere else now, in that red-skied world Itachi had taken him to only once.

 _No_. _No_!  
Enraged, he felt his own eyes transform.

 _Force her to kill herself_. The thought was vicious and just like his calm morphed into burning anger, it mutated into something more sinister.

 _Force her to kill her comrade, then have her kill herself._

But it wouldn't be that easy. She had the mangekyo. She could resist him, and it might be a waste of his eyesight.

He moved to go after her, feather-blades be damned, but Itachi appeared in front of him, moving in slow motion to his cursed sight. Just then, the shark-looking man— Kisame, if the bingo book was correct— flew into the Uchiha girl. With a grunt of surprise, she dropped Yuzu into the water, and Kisame-san's trajectory forced them both to tumble across the water and onto the grass near the woods.

 _Good_.

Maito Gai finally arrived.

"Retreat!" Kisame, ordered, grabbing the girl—Erina— who had the audacity, or insanity to _whine_ in the face of death. They disappeared into the woods and Itachi gave chase with two squads of officers, four elite jonin and Fugaku-san right on his heels. Shisui was already diving beneath the surface of the water, grasping Yuzuha's feminine hand in his before dragging her up to the surface.

When he laid her flat on the grass, he pressed his temple against her face, his ear listening for exhalation of some sort.

There was none. She wasn't breathing. His hands were pressing on her chest almost immediately. Thirty compressions later he tipped her head back, wincing at the crunch the bones of her throat made, pinched her nose and forced the air from his lungs into hers.

He listened again. Nothing. His mind almost drowned in his panic.

 _Don't die. Don't die. Don't die. Don't leave me. I haven't even told you how I feel. You can't. You just can't go!_

He pressed on her chest again, trying desperately to keep a steady rhythm.

 _Who will take care of Naruto? Who will tell me to take better care of myself? Who will complain on my behalf that I need rest? Who will Sakura-chan look up to?_

His vision blurred with unwanted tears, but he breathed into her again. This time, her body convulsed and lake water came dripping out of her mouth.

 _Thank you. Whoever is listening, thank you._

He turned her body to the side by her shoulder and let the water flow out, patting her back to get the rest of it out of her lungs. Her breathing was still ragged, and he realized her throat was crushed. Thankfully, the hands that tried to collapse it were small and the damage wasn't enough to snap her neck. He lifted her hand, shoved the knuckle of her middle finger into her mouth and tipped her chin up to force her teeth into her skin.

It worked. Her chakra still diligently did it's job. He held her hand there until her breathing sounded normal again. When she was out of death's grip, he released the tense breath he was holding and placed his forehead against hers.

"You're alive. You're going to be okay," he whispered, even though he knew that she couldn't hear him. He lifted her as easily as he always did, tucked her close to his chest and took off. She needed a hospital. It would do nothing for her mind, but she needed a safe place to rest.

He trusted Itachi to hunt down the people who did this to her.

Right now, Shisui's job was to protect her until the village was deemed safe again.

* * *

When I woke up, it was in a hospital, but it wasn't the usual hospital. I groaned, and when I looked around, the room looked like it had been left to the elements for years. The heart monitors, floor and ceiling were covered in grime, and the IV bag on the cracked tile beneath the rusted bed frame was torn open and covered in goo. The fluorescent light and its casing was hanging loosely by its shabby wires and one of the two window panes to my right were broken.

The one that wasn't broken was what sent me into a panic. The thin, stained shades of the window were half-shut, but that wasn't what made me realize I wasn't in Konoha. They were wedged between the inner and outer glass of the window. That wasn't the Konoha hospital's style.

Worse still, rusted, snapped beads hung from a cover over the top of the window. All of the panels for the blinds were gone, but there was no mistaking it: that kind of innovation was key to my world, the one I left behind when I died the first time.

A terrified cry escaped my lips and reached my ears. It was the kind of cry you release when you wake up from a nightmare and proceed to breathe hard afterwards. I flew into a seated position and realized that I couldn't feel anyone or anything.

Nothing.

When I looked down, my worst fear was confirmed when I saw an all-too-familiar tattoo on the inside of my left arm.

"No… _no_!" I'm me. I'm me again. The me I was before I became Yuzuha. Konoha is gone. _Gone_.

I started to hyperventilate and I felt myself crawling towards that point where I'd lose my mind.

The brain is a wonderful thing because a quiet, optimistic voice tried to reign my wild thoughts in. I couldn't lose it yet. Not yet.

 _Just find a way back_.

Right. Right. I just have to find a way back. I can do that. I can't feel anyone, but I can do that.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and when I looked out the window, I saw black storm clouds churning behind a skeletal sky scraper. The lightning was red and so was the sky.

Is this hell? That girl, Stephanie, she stabbed me. Did I die? If I died, how can I go back to my friends and family in Konoha?

A skeletal vulture flew past the window. It opened its bony beak but no noise came out. It had no vocal chords to make sound with.

That's one plus, I guess. Maybe that's a cynical thought, but the last thing I wanted to hear was an undead vulture screeching in the sky.

I'm dead. I'm really dead. I dropped my head of ratty, brown hair into my hands, ignoring the bloodstains on my dirty hospital gown and bare feet. I started to sob. Uncontrollably. It was the kind of hopeless sobbing that I haven't done in years. I felt like a child even though my body was adult. I'm weak. I'm dead. There's no chakra here; just horror, refuse, and that constant thunderstorm in the distance.

Then, I heard the squeaking of wheels in the hallway. The hair on my skin rose in that way it only does when your instinct tells you that something really bad is about to happen. One of the rungs of the bed was so loose I was able to quietly pull it off the bedframe. I cowered on the floor, keeping my head low and hoping I wouldn't be noticed.

If I have to fight, how do I fight? I don't have chakra. I have nothing but my fists and whatever level of fitness I had before I became Yuzuha. My lower lip trembled as I remembered everyone I loved so dearly: Naruto, Hiruzen, Jiraiya, Sasuke, Sakura, Mikoto, Itachi, Fugaku, Utau, Yusuke, Shima, Rii… _Shisui_. The worst was remembering Shisui. He liked me. I knew he did. He liked me and I died on him.

I'm so sorry.

The squeaking wheels ran over something in the hallway and I covered my mouth with my other hand. I even stopped breathing to kill any noise that could possibly come from me. Every muscle in my body was tensed.

Utau will be heartbroken and I'll never get to hear Suzume-chan speak full sentences. Did I do enough there? Did I help enough people? Maybe it was for the best that I died. I must have meddled too much.

God _damn it_ how did I not see that feather coming!? Why did I open my eyes!? So what if she was crushing my throat! I shouldn't have let my focus slip.

God I hate that bitch. She put me here. Wait till you die you fucking asshole. I'll drag you down here and stick rusty nails in those laughing eyes of yours.

The wheels stopped in front of the door to the room. Cold, dense dread filled my entire being. Something was here. It was silent but it was here. It was in front of that door. A few beats of roaring silence passed. It was so silent I could hear my blood rushing around my body.

Then, a miracle: the squeaking wheels continued down the hallway. I waited until it sounded like they turned a corner before getting on my hands and knees and crawling around the long side of the bed. When I stood up and faced the door, I shrieked. There stood a—a _being_ right outside the hallway, right against the wall. It wore a torn and filthy lab coat over its melted skin. The skin was damaged so much by whatever fire destroyed it that the being's eyes were melted shut. Even so, I still felt like it was looking at me.

Its claws were long and chipped along the edges and it had a stethoscope that had fused with the melted skin over its ribcage, crooked and awkward and even rusty in some spots.

Tears started to collect in my eyes. The pipe was useless against those claws, but I still held it out in front of me like a vampire-slayer's steak.

It bent over, and charged.

I died again with an ear-shattering scream.

* * *

I woke up hoping that I had just passed out, praying that I'd see a familiar face. Begging whatever higher power existed that what I experienced was just a nightmare.

But no.

There it was again. The same old, dirty room with its door halfway ripped off its hinges, balancing precariously against the floor. I realized the same things. I'm in my old body. In my old world. Except it's been turned into hell.

There's a pattern developing here. I pulled the bar off of the bed frame again, and this time, tiptoed out into the hallway as quickly and quietly as possible before the doctor decided to show up.

The squeaking hadn't started yet so I ran in the opposite direction that it came from last time, and turned a corner.

It had been eerily silent in the room, but this hallway featured the nightmarish cries of children. The transition from quiet to disturbing cries was so jarring I had to steady myself against the rotting wall to my left.

The babies sounded like they were being pulled apart, and the cracking of bones echoing around the overturned gurneys in the hallway disturbed me on a level I can't exactly put into words.

I raced down that hallway, through the blown-open panic-bar doors, and suddenly, I was outside. In the parking lot.

It made no sense. I was just on the millionth floor of the hospital and I didn't feel any downwards slope of the hallway behind me.

Whatever, I clutched that rusty pipe to my chest and stepped forward. I made my way around cars with sagging tires and rotting leather seats until finally I reached a street. I heard a car horn before I turned around. Twin red lights assaulted my vision and the screeching of rubber tires on asphalt pierced my eardrums.

Again, I died.

Again, I woke up in the hospital room.

This time, when I stirred from the bed, I disturbed a whole nest of cockroaches beneath me.

I flew off the bed. I grabbed the pipe. I ran. The hallway was filled with burned bodies this time. They moved and swayed like zombies, but they had perfect sets of pearly, white teeth.

The doorway to the street lay beyond them, but I knew that if I got bitten I would die again. I charged through them anyway, whacking as many as I could with the rusted bar in my hands.

They swarmed me. They were silent, but their mouths were frozen open in a soundless scream. Several tackled me and one, a female, judging by the rat's nest that was her hair, bit my cheek.

Again, I died.

Again I woke.

Again I ran, this time from the sounds of chain saws, drills and people begging to be set free. I ran down the street, and then avoided a truck that almost ran me over the moment I set foot on the cracked, weed-covered asphalt.

Still, that storm raged in the distance. Only this time, inhuman shrieks accompanied it. When I looked up, there were bird-ladies in the sky. Well, corpse-ladies, is a better way of saying it.

They wore ragged dresses from every era imaginable and feathers covered their skin where it wasn't rotting. I dove into some business building to hide after one of them spotted me and screeched.

When I looked around, I realized that I knew this place. I had visited it when I was five, before the plane crashed into it and changed the entire nation. It was that curved wooden desk of the lobby of one of the twin towers. I crawled behind and underneath the desk, past the overturned chair and hundreds of loose papers all over the place.

I picked one up, then another. Each paper held a face. Each face was either charred, horrified, or next to a window, a terrified expression morphing their features. Somehow I knew that these were the victims from the attacks.

I was in a constant state of fear that didn't stop. I tried to stop and analyze the situation. No matter what I did, if I died, I'd end up back at that place. Round and round I tried to think of ways to escape, but nothing made sense.

Tears leaked out of my eyes and onto my knees. This really is hell. This same process is just going to continue, over and over and over. I curled up into a little corner as I heard the shrieking corpse ladies right at the door. They crowed to each other in their own language as they stalked inside, crunching glass in the lobby right on the other side of my hiding place. I pressed my face into my knees.

They searched and searched for what felt like hours. I was beginning to get sleepy, but still they searched, always just footsteps away from where I was, putting me on edge every single time they neared. I was in a constant state of stress until my brain couldn't handle the pressure anymore and I passed out.

Again, I woke in the room.

Again, I ran.

* * *

 **ITAYUZU FANS:** You guys get a separate story for your ship! Don't worry both stories will end the exact same way, promise! SO you don't have to worry about missing out on anything or thinking that the fic will go in a completely different direction. Please visit "Yuzuha" on my profile to read future chapters on there!

Okay so, the reason this took so long is because I'm in a shit situation right now.

Long story short: the house I've been living in is being foreclosed and this news blind-sided me and my family because the owner of the house has been lying to us about everything being okay when it wasn't; not on purpose, he's just foreign and doesn't understand the paperwork blah blah blah, not important.

Anyway, the move-out date is next week. We found out this week Monday. So you can imagine how hard it is keeping everyone calm in a situation like this while trying to shoulder my own stress about it. I had to quit school and now I'm looking for a place before I become homeless.

This sounds like a bad situation, but logically speaking, it's kind of a good thing. Sometimes you need something wiped out of your life to make room for something better. But yeah, these chapters were ready to go this past weekend but they're almost a whole week late because of this. I'm so sorry guys.

Anyway, let me know what you think about the chapter. PM me! If I got something mixed up or something doesn't make sense, please tell me. It's been a crazy effin' time this month.

See you, Space Cowboy.

Disclaimer: I'm still on strike. Fuck this thing.


	24. Alstroemeria and Citrus

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

|24|

Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto!

Orochimaru and the hidden Sand attacked Konoha. Mikoto gave birth to little Suzume in the middle of it with Sakura and Ino's help. Hiruzen passed away while the Uchiha police force, the regular shinobi ranks, and just about everyone else worked together to keep Orochimaru's snakes away from the village proper. Konoha took control of the situation, but the village needed an interim leader while choosing a new hokage. The council of clans voted to have Fugaku lead the village in the meantime, which forced Itachi to oversee the police force and deal with Uchiha clan head stuff.

On the day the daimyo were to arrive to decide on the next hokage, the Akatsuki "attacked" Konoha. Kisame and a girl, Uchiha Erina, showed up to scope out the situation in Konoha. During the fight, Yuzuha realized that she wasn't the only person sent to the Narutoverse after death. Erina's true name is Stephanie, and she believes that the Narutoverse is just an elaborate game.

And she's a vicious player. Overconfident, Yuzuha didn't give the fight her all because she didn't take Erina seriously. Erina fooled Yuzuha and used the Tsukuyomi to send her into a hell-world that convinced her that she died again and then proceeded to mentally torture her over and over again.

* * *

 **Shisui** sweated in the mid-day sun. It has been three days since Jiraiya and team seven left on their journey to find the Senju Princess Tsunade, the legendary sucker that would be able to fix Yuzu's condition, according to Inoichi-sama.

Almost everything had gone to hell since the Akatsuki attacked. Jiraiya-sama refused the hokage title. When that didn't blow over too well, the council opted to pick Kakashi-san. When Kakashi-san refused, giving some half-baked, but convincing excuse that he couldn't abandon his students in the middle of their growth as shinobi, the situation turned dire. All eyes turned to Fugaku-sama.

Surprisingly, Fugaku-sama turned and looked right at his son.

Itachi was over-burdened and though he was excelling at filling his father's shoes, he was unprepared for how suddenly he was dropped into the position. With Jiraiya-sama's advice, Fugaku-sama convinced the daimyo and the main council to find Tsunade-hime and convince her to take the hat.

Most of the daimyo scoffed while the elder council grinded down whatever dental enamel they had left. Shisui witnessed it himself; he was right there as Fugaku-sama's personal guard. The daimyo and his advisors said he'd never find her, not before his interim-term was up, and, by law, when the village is in a state of emergency and the hokage has been compromised, the interim term isn't very long. Danzo-sama looked like he was ready to go and find her himself if that's what it took to keep Fugaku-sama out of the seat.

Shisui wasn't opposed to convincing him to go, either. If things don't work out in time, Itachi will have to take the reins on police and clan affairs. He would have to marry and resign from his position in anbu, and he knew that Itachi would _hate_ not being able to help him village on the outside. He'd become a caged bird. Even Fugaku-sama wasn't so heartless to let something like that happen to his own son.

While everyone fell into their duties, Shisui was given his own mission. His duty would be to subdue the kyuubi in case it emerged. His superiors apologized for giving him the short end of the stick, but Shisui didn't see it that way. Maybe he was out of the main action, but he was spending the time with the woman he loved. He passed through the hospital doors into the cool, septic lobby and gazed down at the small bouquet in his hands.

He'd never admit it openly, but he loved flowers and their subtle meanings. They were the best way to speak in secret. He smiled at the peony surrounded by altroemerias. It symbolized his love.

 _I wonder when exactly she'll realize that the flowers have been from me this entire time?_

He made sure that at least one alstroemeria was placed somewhere in her hospital room every time she had the misfortune of being there. She'd have to recognize the pattern eventually.

By now, the hospital's receptionists knew of his authorization and paid him no mind as he made his way up the stairs to relieve whichever unfortunate police force Lieutenant was assigned to watch Yuzu while he went out to stretch his legs and grab lunch. Shisui doubted that an Uchiha could stop a kyuubi transformation with just a regular sharingan, but it was better than having no one there at all.

If he greeted any of the nurses on his way to the room, he didn't care to remember. He mechanically relieved Makoto-san from his post and arranged the bouquet into the vase on the nightstand. When that was taken care of, he sat in the all-too-familiar, blue-cushioned chair and pulled the novel he picked for her out of his backpack.

The story was a drama about a princess married to a prince. So far, the princess' younger sister realized her feelings for the prince and was drowning in guilt because of them. That was just the side plot, though. The more pressing issue—in Shisui's eyes, at least— was the illness the prince was hiding and his growing feelings for the younger sister who promised to keep his condition a secret—that, and the kingdom being attacked by dragons and the civil war about to break out amongst its people.

He flipped to the page he had dog-eared just an hour and a half ago. He knew Yuzu couldn't hear him, but reading to her was a bearable way to pass the time.

He cleared his throat.

"'Is this what is truly in my heart? Perhaps Singekyo is the one I truly love, no, the one I _should_ love, but the touch of sister's husband—even just that of his fingers against mine in the stairwell— is irresistible. Perhaps that look in his eyes that moment was understanding? Perhaps it was reciprocation? Only the heavens know…'"

Hours passed and the prince and younger sister initiated an illicit relationship while the younger sister's gentle-hearted betrothed, Singekyo, looked on with a broken heart. It grew clearer and clearer that the prince was lying about his illness, using it to gain the affections of the younger sister _and many others_ and fulfill his dream of having a harem like the kings of foreign lands did. He turned out to be a complete and total narcissist.

"What a mess." He placed the book down on his lap and unscrewed his canteen, taking a long drink before tossing both it and the book back into the grey backpack at his feet. He wished he could at least have a target to throw kunai at, but he was supposed to carefully monitor Yuzu's condition. _Carefully._ That meant not causing any extra trouble.

He briefly thought about setting targets up in the hospital room—just for ten minutes! Why not!?— but Instead he leaned forward, rested his elbows on the tops of his knees and sighed, watching the rise and fall of Yuzu's chest as she slept—as she suffered.

 _Hurry up and find that old lady, guys, she's suffering worse than any of us ever did, I know it._

He sensed it. He would never be able to explain it or put it in words, but he knew that whatever was going on in Yuzu's mind was awful. Maybe it was the constant attention he has always kept on her, or maybe it was pure instinct, but either way, he knew she would wake up changed.

 _But when that happens I'll bring you right back to where you need to be._

He'd never fail her. Never.

After all, alstroemerias meant "devotion."

* * *

 **WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! CHILD ABUSE SCENE AHEAD! NOT FOR SENSITIVE INDIVIDUALS! SKIP TO NEXT BOLDED PART TO CONTINUE READING!**

Why? I choked back a sob and tried to be quiet in the closet while mommy and daddy fought and slapped each other. I'm five again. I'm little again. I hate being little. I hate not being able to do anything.

Calm down. Calm down. Did I remember to do my letters and words today— the ones the English-speaking teachers told me to do?

 _Slap_!

More cursing, name-calling, some words I don't understand, but at the same time I do. They're bad words. No one else says those words but them and they only say them when they fight. They're bad words.

Please God, please. Please make them stop fighting. Please don't let them kill each other.

Something broke. A dish maybe?

The grey carpet is stained. Is that blood? His voice is so scary. Her voice is trying to match the rage in his. Why are they even fighting? Over money again?

I can't control my shaking or my crying or my breathing. I'm so little. I can't do anything. I'm so scared because they're going to kill each other. Dad's going to kill mom. He's going to kill her!

"Please don't let them kill each other. Please don't let them, God. Please."

Last time the prayer had worked. Last time, they stopped fighting because they saw that I disappeared. Last time they found me in the closet and I didn't know if I wanted hugs from them or if I wanted to run.

The hugs are _fake_. They were always fake and suffocating. Like they were wrapping me in their problems.

I tried to put my hands over my ears but the banging continued. The skin-on-skin slapping sounds continued.

I'm scared—so scared. Mom's going to bleed again. What if she dies? What if she kills dad? I don't want either of them gone! I just don't want fighting!

Oh no! They stopped. They stopped too suddenly. They know I ran. They know I hid. Just like last time.

"Where is she?!"

The voices turned demonic— multiple voices saying the same thing out of the same mouth. I rocked back and forth.

Please don't find me. Please don't find me. Please don't find me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm here. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. If I wasn't here, if I wasn't born, maybe they'd have more money? Maybe they wouldn't fight about money. It's my fault, I know it. I'm their problem.

There's glass in the carpet. My feet are bleeding and something is dead in the corner, even though I can't really smell it.

"She ran away because you're a _fucking_ idiot! Dumb fuckin' bitch. You can't make money and you can't even watch our kid! You're fucking useless!"

I pressed my hands tighter to my ears as if it would help. More fighting. More screaming. Another dish broken, or maybe that was the ash tray that broke?

Please stop saying bad things.

Footsteps.

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh _no_. I know what they're going to look like. And I'm little. I can't do anything. Little girlish sobs echoed in the space between my knees, face, stomach and thighs. I didn't want to look up from my knees. It's easier not to see. It's easier to just close my eyes.

I could hear the steps through the hole in the closet door. They were closer. Too close.

"In the closet!"

 _No_!

The door broke when they slid it open. I screamed as cheap woodchips caught in my hair. I can't do anything. Can't sense. Can't fight. Can't run.

 _Stuck_.

The claws dug into my shoulders and turned me around, forcibly.

"Did I scare you?"

Her blonde hair was fried and dirty, almost unrecognizable. She had no eyes and her clothes were torn, hanging on loose, ugly grey skin. I didn't want to look at dad— I didn't want to look at him. But when corpse-mom pulled me out of the closet, time morphed to two years later and corpse-dad had me pinned between his knees, slapping my face left and right and asking me why my grades were bad. I couldn't answer because my jaw hurt so bad. I couldn't answer because what on Earth would he do to me if I answered wrong?

I looked up, but saw only the black shilouette of a man in front of that ugly, chipped, square piece of glass covering the light bulbs on the ceiling above. And those ugly, horrifying ice-blue eyes.

Stop. _Stop_.

I'll never do it again!

"I'll never do it again I promise! I'll get good grades! I promise!"

"You're." _Slap!_ "Going." _Slap!_ "To." _Slap!_ "Fail!" _Slap_!

Over and over and over. Last time it stopped. This time? This time it wasn't stopping. Last time my mom told him my face would bruise and the school would see. This time, she was nowhere.

I don't know how many strikes I counted.

 _Just please stop hitting me_. _I'm going to die._

 **LONG STORY SHORT: SHE GETS ABUSED AGAIN AS A CHILD, ONLY THIS TIME IN THE HELL-WORLD**

* * *

 **Sasuke** resisted the urge to chew on his bottom lip. They had cornered the Senju princess in a restaurant, the old man with them acting as if their pressing situation were a reunion.

 _They're catching up like old pals. Meanwhile, nii-san is suffering_. _Yuzu-nee is suffering._

And because of Itachi's request, his ears had to hear everything so his mind could discern whether offering the money was necessary. It was a lot of pressure: too soon, and his father would be unquestionably demonic when he found out what his sons did. Too late, and their only chance of waking Yuzu-nee and installing a different hokage would fail; nii-san would be stuck working the clan and the police force while their father took care of the village as hokage. Itachi would die on the inside. He'd do his duty, but he'd be hollow in a position where he couldn't help his home.

 _Hurry up and get down to business._

He wished he could plant the thought in Jiraiya's head, and even toyed with using the sharingan, but he wasn't at his brother's level yet. The pig in Shizune's arms across the table stared at him as it sniffed the air in his direction. What was its name again? Ton-ton? Right, Tonton. Like that girl on the Hyuuga prodigy's team, Tenten.

 _Stop staring at me_.

A warm hand on his thigh almost made him jump. He slightly turned his head to the right, meeting eyes with Sakura and _begging_ his face not to flush. She just nodded at him and slid her hand back into her lap. He knew that expression. He knew what she was trying to say: _Relax. Be patient_.

He struggled with both of those things, but nodded anyway, forcing the tension to ease out of his shoulders. Neither Naruto nor Sakura knew what was said between him and his brother. It was a secret mission, but Sakura knew he was hiding something. Maybe it was the time they spent in the woods during Kakashi's psychotic training session before the chunin exam, or maybe it was that freakishly accurate intuition she had, but either way she managed to read him like an open book.

 _If things don't go the right way you might just find out what I have to offer up_.

He forced himself to eat the fish on his plate, wishing he had Naruto's ability to scarf down food in any situation. Tsunade downed her small cup of sake in one shot and placed it back on the table a little too hard— a sign that she was well on her way to being inebriated. The pink in her cheeks further proved his theory. He gnashed his teeth together.

 _Irritating. Is she still strong after drinking this much all the time? Isn't the liquor affecting her chakra at all?_

Sakura tapped her knee against his.

 _Don't lose your temper._

 _Okay fine, Sakura. Do_ you _have any bright ideas to speed this process up?_

"Today is the day where I meet many old friends," the blonde woman spoke.

 _Don't roll your eyes. Don't roll your eyes. Don't roll your eyes._

He felt a tension leak into the air.

"You've met with Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked her, the seriousness in his tone slamming into Sasuke and his team like one of Kakashi's fists.

 _That asshole from the exams?_

A quick look at both Sakura and Naruto confirmed that they were remembering too. Naruto was more guarded, but Sakura? Sakura's eyes were unlike he'd ever seen them before.

Rage. Rage and hate. How could he blame her, though? The bastard had almost killed her, and dragged her pride through the mud. He had taken her out before she even had the chance to discover his true identity.

He bumped his knee against hers, but it did close to nothing. She still had a white-knuckle grip on the hems of her beige shorts. The table in front of her almost shrunk away from her glare.

Tsunade nodded and Jiraiya took a sip of his sake. "What happened?"

"Nothing really," she replied, "we just exchanged a greeting."

 _Bull fucking shit. No one just "exchange's a greeting" with that guy._

She pulled out a deck of blue cards and started to shuffle them. He _felt_ Sakura's irritation grow, though she did a phenomenal job of hiding her feelings. He wished Naruto would say something. He was the rock they both leaned on in situations like this.

"What about you? What do you want from me?" she asked as she handed Jiraiya the deck across the table. The old pervert pushed aside his plate, giving it to Naruto, who pushed it to him, which he then pushed to Sakura. She looked at him with a betrayed look in her eyes. She barely took a bite of her food thus far. How could he make her ignore yet another plate and make it so obvious that she was tense?

He shrugged his right shoulder, the sleeve of his blue tunic rustling against the sleeve of her red and white one. She glared, and then turned back to her food, picking up another vegetable with her chopsticks and bringing it to her mouth.

Sasuke returned his attention to Jiraiya.

"I'll be straight with you," he started as he shuffled the cards using his own method.

 _Yes. Be very straight and direct. We don't have time for any of this._

"Tsunade, the village has demanded that you become the fifth hokage."

Shizune recoiled in surprise, and even the pig oinked as it stood its feet against the table, about to drink from a bowl of soup. Naruto choked and the rest of the table sat quietly, ready to shatter into a thousand pieces if one wrong word was spoken. Tsunade started dealing cards to both herself and Jiraiya, ignoring the rest of the table. Not that Sasuke felt like playing anyway.

"Do you know what happened to the third hokage?" Jiraiya asked her in a grave tone, and Sasuke saw a look of recognition pass across Shizune's face.

 _She knows. No,_ they _know. That was probably what Orochimaru talked to them about when they met; the third's death during the battle at the chunin exams._

Both elders picked up their cards and fanned them out in front of their faces.

"Orochimaru did it, isn't that right?" Tsunade replied, eyes flicking across the numbers on her cards. "I heard it directly from him."

 _Is_ that _what happened that day!?_

" _He_ was the one that killed jii-chan!?" Naruto slammed both his fists on the table, one on each side of his plate and stood up from his seat as his fish tossed in the air. The rest of the dishes and the unused cards shook in fear of his anger. The pig retreated into Shizune's lap and Sasuke and Sakura stared at him in shock. Sure, Naruto was prone to outbursts, but he never displayed anger like _that_.

"Who are these brats anyway?" Her eyes were condescending as she eyed him, Sakura and Naruto across the table, completely unfazed by their teammate's outburst.

Jiraiya chuckled. "Team seven. Haruno Sakura. Uchiha Sasuke. And Uzumaki Naruto."

The blonde's eyes flickered from Sasuke to Naruto twice, her red lips hanging open just a touch.

 _What's so surprising about us?_

"First of all, this Orochimaru guy, he's obviously one of you guys, right!? If that's the case, then how come you're just sitting here and not doing anything about him!? You realize that he attacked us, too, right!?" he shouted at Tsunade and then turned back to Jiraiya, "And second of all, how the hell did they choose _this_ lady for hokage!?" He snapped an index finger in her direction and she gave him a withering look for his rudeness.

Sakura's face was horrified in response to his manners, or lack thereof.

"Naruto, shut up," he spoke up to his best friend, who then looked at him in irritation.

"But c'mon! The guy is a criminal!"

"Naruto." All it took was one, annoyed word out of Sakura's mouth and he immediately dropped back into his seat and crossed his arms, leg bouncing up and down with frustrated energy.

"I'll say this again, Tsunade. The village is demanding that you become the next hokage. What is your answer?"

"Impossible. I refuse," she finally said after a moment of deliberation, throwing all of her cards down on the table.

Sasuke clenched his fists. Should he wait longer? Would it be smarter to just offer up his brother's deal now? He turned his eyes back to Sakura, wishing he had told her. It would be nice to have her input.

 _But I have to learn to trust in my own judgment. Nii-san trusts me, so I have to trust myself. I have to do this on my own._

Jiraiya chuckled. "You said those exact words to me when I asked you out years ago."

"Tch." She looked away, blushing.

Sasuke looked past the awkwardness of the moment and watched Shizune's head turn towards her companion a little too quickly. Something was going on. Tsunade wasn't refusing out of sheer stubbornness; there was a reason for her refusal.

 _But what other option does she have? There has to be something beneficial to her that's making her deny us, but what is it?_

 _Wait. Did Orochimaru offer to pay off her debts? Would he even have that kind of money? Or is it something else? He wouldn't offer her anything if there wasn't some sort of benefit for him. His slimy kind doesn't just do things for free. What could he possibly want?_

"I don't get it! Why are we even here if this is pointless? She said 'no,' so let's go. We're wasting time." Naruto couldn't contain his whining, and though it was making team seven look bad, Sasuke couldn't disagree with his methods. He was speeding things up considerably. Maybe they didn't need Tsunade's help. Maybe Itachi would find a way to help the village and take on their father's duties. If anyone could do it, it would be Itachi.

Jiraiya sighed. "If she becomes hokage, she'll come back to the village and help your sister. Besides, this is what the higher ups decided on. Genin like you guys have no say in this matter."

"This apprentice of yours is nothing like your previous one. He has a big mouth and he isn't too good-looking."

Sakura's mouth dropped, and Sasuke resisted the urge to jump in and defend his best friend. Naruto's rage was bursting at the seams. It radiated off his skin in waves that spread goosebumps down Sasuke's arms.

"What'd you just say!?"

Tsunade ignored him again, though, she looked directly at him when she said, "He's nothing like the fourth hokage."

Jiraiya waved off her statement with a lazy hand. "Well, it's hard to be compared to someone so talented, smart, kind hearted, with all the qualities to be the greatest shinobi of his time, and of course handsome as myself." He winked and Sasuke was baffled as to how the old man could be so nonchalant. Didn't he realize Naruto was .0003 seconds away from exploding?

"Well, even that fourth hokage, so talented and brimming with skill was killed and martyred for his village. He died quickly for ungrateful people." She picked up two more cards and analyzed them again, a slight bitterness in her honey eyes. "Money is different from life. To easily risk and lose life, is the mark of a fool!" she hissed.

The chopsticks in Naruto's clenched fist snapped as audibly as his patience did. Sasuke's best friend was shaking.

 _Oh no… here it comes._

"Both my father and the second hokage tried to have peace at all costs," Tsunade continued, fearlessly pushing more of Naruto's buttons, "but in the end they both died in vain, their dreams for the village evaporating with them. Being a hokage is pointless and above that, _stupid_."

That was it. Naruto roared, threw the splintered wood in his palm aside and launched from his seat at her, accidentally kicking Sasuke in the shoulder with his foot. Sakura gasped as Jiraiya grabbed him by the back of his jacket, fisting the proud Uzumaki symbol in his large hand. Naruto struggled in captivity, kicking aside plates of food and drink, spilling the pig's bowl of soup.

"Let me go!" He screeched, and the chatter in the restaurant died. All eyes were on them. "Who do you think you are to insult _my_ father! My father was _not_ stupid!"

Tsunade turned her nose up at his tantrum. Sasuke felt the chakra behind his eyes _begging_ to release.

" _Use me,"_ the sharingan begged in its own complex language of power, _"Put everyone in their place."_

Sasuke took a deep, steadying breath.

"Naruto, stop," Jiraiya commanded, but his words went unheard.

"Hell no! I don't care who you are! I don't care if you're a girl! Anyone who makes fun of the hokage, of my _father_ — I'll deck you right across the face-ttebayo!" He planted his feet on top of the table and tossed his fist into his palm, the smacking sound of his skin echoing across the silent restaurant.

Sasuke's eyes slid to the employees of the restaurant to see what they would do. They were shaking in their shoes. They had been afraid of the shiny Konoha headbands when they came in, but now their terror was plain on their faces. Sasuke's company was beginning to make their village look bad.

There was a beat of silence before Tsunade slammed her foot onto the table, confidently placing the palm of her hand on top of her thigh and straightening her back proudly.

"That was pretty gutsy of you, challenging me like that. Let's take this outside, brat."

 _Oh shit._

Sasuke and Sakura turned to look at each other almost on instinct. She was just as surprised as he was; no answers or reactions from her either.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune placed the tips of her fingers against her cheek in worry, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

 _We have no chance against that monster. No fucking chance. Naruto, you idiot!_

Sasuke wished his best friend would turn to him and read his face. _Anything_ to make him back down from the woman.

 _Okay. Stay calm. Say Naruto does accept her challenge. Say he does fight her. Say he does get his ass kicked. All I have to do is stay conscious till the end. In the end, all I need is words to convince her. The situation isn't lost yet. Hopefully she'll be so entertained at his failure that she'll agree. It's a win-win for her. This might not be so bad._

 _Money talks, bullshit walks. Money talks, bullshit walks. Just stay cool, Sasuke. You have money to back you, and lots of it._

Jiraiya sighed, and not even two minutes later, everyone was outside of the restaurant and on some empty street near it, illuminated by a maximum of two shoddy street lamps and silvery moonlight.

 _At least there's enough light to see with. Not that I need it._

"I'm one of the legendary sannin. I'm not going to take a sniveling genin seriously," Tsunade declared from several meters away. "All I need is one minute and one finger to defeat you. That's it." She raised a finger in the air.

From the side against a fence where the rest of the group stood, Sakura growled.

"How about three genin, then?" Her bold tone made his right ear ring.

He and Tsunade turned to her at the same time. The older woman was amused but Sasuke could only glare. Didn't she realize that _someone_ needed to be on their feet at the end of all of this?

"Why are you dragging me into this?" He hissed at her under his breath. She was so close to him, he was sure she heard his words, but chose to ignore them, slapping a confident hand on her hip and adopting a solid stance.

 _God damn it, Sakura. Don't you know how out-matched we are?_

"As if it makes a difference," Tsunade chuckled condescendingly.

"One hit!" This time, it was Sakura who raised her finger, shouting across the street. "One hit and we win. We're not stupid, we know we're outmatched, but if we get one hit on you, we win. Deal?"

The blonde woman smirked. "I like your bravado, little girl. Fine. One hit. It's a deal."

"Let's go, Sasuke."

"You're insane, you know that? This is _stupid_."

She turned to him with a smirk and a shrug. "So what. It's all or nothing at this point, right? Negotiations failed so it's time for a different tactic. Are you in, or are you going to make me look stupid?"

Sasuke sighed and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Fine, let's go already."

With Naruto in the middle, team seven adopted their opening stances.

"How do we do this?" The blonde murmured to them while Tsunade stood several meters ahead, arms crossed and lips turned up into a smirk.

"This kinf of feels like the first time we tried to beat up Kakashi-sensei," Sakura murmured back.

"If that's the case we have to be on her like flies on a corpse. She can't just defend herself from all three of us with one finger only. If we get her to use something else—an elbow or a fist— she'll have lost the bet. We can win on a technicality," Sasuke theorized, analyzing her stance after activating his sharingan.

"Eh!? Where's your honor!?" Naruto freaked, turning to him and waving a pointed finger in his face.

Sasuke snapped his head in his direction and glared with red eyes. "I could care less about honor in a situation where we're squaring off with a beast. We're outmatched, strapped for time, and royally screwed if we aren't standing upright at the end of this! If a technicality gets me a win, I'm fine with that. If you want to beat her fair and square so badly you're welcome to do so once she's in the village, but we have to do whatever is necessary get her there in the first place, _idiot_."

"I'll make you eat those words one day, believe it Sasuke."

"Will you two shut up and focus? She's a medical ninja right?"

Sasuke and Naruto looked at their pink-haired teammate with identical blank stares.

Sasuke took it upon himself to speak for them both. "If you think you can match her—

"I _don't_ ," Sakura snapped, "but I have read some of the journals she left behind in the Konoha public library."

"Illegally obtained by Utau," Sasuke added with an accusing look.

"Exactly. So I know a little bit of what she can do. She can break the earth with a finger and she can screw with the neurons in your brain. Meaning, one touch to your forehead can scramble you like your breakfast eggs, so stay the hell away from her hands. That one finger can turn into a scalpel too so make sure you're exactly twelve centimeters away from the tip of it. Don't let yourself get any closer to it than that."

"Got it," Naruto nodded, raising his fists, preparing to charge in with taijutsu.

"That still isn't much of a plan. We have to land a hit. How?" Sasuke growled, "We're running out of time. She isn't going to stand there and let us plot all night."

"I think it would be best for you to be a distraction, Sasuke." Sakura turned to him with serious green eyes, waiting for an answer or a reaction. He studied her face right back and registered that she wasn't joking. She was actually, really, and seriously suggesting that he be their sacrificial lamb.

She must have a lot of blind faith in his skill to come up with that sort of idea and believe in it.

"Because the sharingan will help me avoid her, right?"

She nodded. "Exactly. Meanwhile, I'll try to cut her up while Naruto makes a clone or two and tries to land a hit. We'll coordinate so that she has to be in a hundred places at once. She's bound to slip up somewhere."

Both he and Naruto nodded. It was a solid plan.

"But if all that fails, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura's expression darkened as she looked into Naruto's eyes. "Give her all you got. Your strongest jutsu as many times as you can in a row. Barrage her. Go out in a blazing glory because we have nothing else left to lose."

"Understood." Both boys murmured.

"You three _children_ are boring. I'm going to walk away in the next ten seconds if you don't start," Tsunade called from across the clearing.

"As you wish!" Sakura shouted and lunged at her, Sasuke diving forward right after her as Naruto took point, leaping ahead and in between them. Last second, they switched places, and Sasuke was face-to-face with their opponent, kicking, punching, spinning and flipping, trying to get as many attacks in while avoiding her hand. When Sakura joined in— dual kunai coated with razor sharp chakra— the blonde woman had to move her feet and budge from her position. She ducked and dodged their attacks while they spun and flipped away from her finger. Not long after, Naruto made a clone and they had her twirling and whirling away, waving her arm, trying touch at least one of them.

 _We were trained well to be able to avoid her, unless this isn't the fastest she can move. She's severely handicapped, so it's possible that this is all she can do with one finger, but I still don't trust it._

He bent his left knee and brought his other foot directly up, launching up from the dirt with one leg, hoping to catch her chin with his heel. She delicately stepped back, and to his horror, she raised a finger and sent it on a direct path to his neck.

 _She'll shatter my throat. I have to move!_

He used his momentum and every muscle in his torso to curl in on himself, turning his head and shoulders away from her body just enough to avoid her attack. He felt the chakra from the pad of her finger ghost across the back of his neck, rustling the fine hairs and sending goosebumps down his back to the base of his spine. Gravity pulled him downwards, and he stretched out his arm to spring off his palm as Sakura's war cry echoed in his ears.

" _Shannaro!"_

He heard the whoosh of metal cutting through air as he landed two meters away and straightened just in time to see the blonde laugh as she bent backwards, avoiding a vicious swipe of Sakura's kunai near her eyes. The woman just barely avoided the tip of Sakura's chakra, knowing exactly where the blade of energy ended.

As Sakura twisted to jump back from her failed attempt, Naruto covered her retreat with a downwards kick, forcing Tsunade to step back again.

 _Where is his clone? When did it dispel?_

Sasuke didn't have time to think about it because it was his turn to jump in for support. His teammates had pushed Tsunade in his direction, so he lunged. The tension in her face showed him that she knew what the sharingan was telling him: she wouldn't be able to avoid his fist. She would have to either block with her forearm, or take a punch to her left collarbone. Either way, the win would be theirs.

To his surprise, she bent over sideways, as if she were going to cartwheel into Naruto and Sakura.

They all watched as the pad of her finger rustled the dirt and literally _shattered_ the ground beneath their feet. The explosion sent chunks of rock flying at them, and destabilized their footing. The air rushed out of Sasuke's throat as a boulder launched into his gut, shoving his body meters and meters backwards, away from the epicenter of the fight. Sakura shrieked somewhere far to his left, and he heard Naruto's body tumbling across the ground, his jacket tearing on jagged earth until he was so far away that the sound blended in with the thumping sounds of rocks falling rocks. Sasuke coughed the itchy dirt out of his throat and wheezed for air. Every time he tried to breathe in, dirt irritated his lungs and forced him to cough what little air he managed to get out.

An alarm went off in his head: _you're going to die if you don't breathe soon._

The weight of the boulder on top of him wasn't helping his cause. The lack of oxygen was weakening the muscles in his body and he used the rest of the strength in them to force the rock off him, managing to wriggle out from underneath it. The stone scraped his skin and caught his shirt, pinning him down. In a state of anxiety, he tore his body out of the tunic, afterwards struggling onto his knees and then his feet.

He pounded his chest with his fist, using the last of his strength to clear his lungs, spit flying out of his mouth as he searched through the cloud of dust for his teammates. He saw Sakura on all fours, way too far for him to reach her. She too was coughing and rubbing at her eyes.

Naruto was enraged, already on his feet and rushing towards the woman as the dust cleared, kunai in hand. Sasuke watched helplessly as she knocked his wrist back, caught the ring of his kunai launched it upwards with inhuman force, knocked his headband off his head, and then flicked his forehead so hard his body flew into a lamp post, denting it right in the middle.

All with one. Single. Finger.

The kunai she had launched sky-high landed right in front of Sakura's face. She was covering her eyes with her hands and if that weapon was meant to kill, she'd have been dead and bleeding in the dirt by now. The dust finally settled and Shizune rushed towards Sakura first.

"Tsunade-sama! That was excessive!" Though she was chastising her elder, her tone was more worried than authoritative. She dropped to her knees and placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder, assuring her that she would help before placing healing hands against her eyes.

It was then that he realized that something was wrong. His stomach was on fire.

When he looked down, there was a gash across his abdomen and a bruise so bad it was already purpling. A nausea straight out of hell overcame him with such sickening force that he had to slap a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from throwing up. His vision blurred, but he still had enough sense to cover his abdomen with his arm.

Blood flowed freely over the fine hairs on his wrist.

 _This is bad._

Shizune finished with Sakura and immediately rushed towards him, the pig hustling behind her as if it cared for him too.

"Lay down right now!" she shouted, pointing a finger at him. He tried to ease himself to his knees, but he lost control and crashed onto them instead. The second her hands touched his stomach he felt better. His nausea settled and he went back to coughing whatever was left in his lungs.

"Open your mouth!"

He obeyed and her chakra intimately invaded his chest. It felt unnatural to have her force the crap in his lungs out of his mouth, but he was back to normal right after so he didn't care. He took a huge, full breath, and tried to calm the part of his brain that was berating him for almost dying.

"Tell me, brat." Sasuke snapped his eyes towards Naruto and Tsunade, one huffing and holding his head in front of the lamppost, the other with crossed arms and a guarded expression.

"Why are you so passionate about the honor of a hokage? I get it, your dad was the fourth, but you lost your mind about the others, too. So why?"

Naruto told both him and Sakura about his dad in secret, so Sasuke understood why he had gotten so angry, but the woman was right. His fist had clenched even tighter when she insulted both the first and second hokage.

 _What would he have done if she had enough time to say something about the third?_

"Because," he paused to take in two shaky breaths and then looked up at her with passionate blue eyes, "Being hokage is my dream! It's what I'm going to be one day-ttebayo so I won't tolerate anyone making fun of the hokage!"

 _That_ got a reaction out of her. Sasuke's sharingan noted the tiny changes in her expression: the upwards wrinkling of her brows, the widening of her eyes and the slackness in her jaw. Naruto had triggered something in her; something emotional.

"I don't care if it takes me a year to land a single hit on you! I will!"

She chuckled and smirked. "Alright then. Let's make a bet. If you and your teammates can land a hit on me in a week, I'll come back with you _and_ I'll give you this necklace." She pointed to the pretty green gems resting on her cleavage. "If you don't, I leave in peace _with_ all the money you three have on you."

"E-eh!?" Sakura paled, and Sasuke gave her a pitying look. She always carried extra on her, even though Sasuke promised to spot them if it was ever necessary.

"Deal!"

Sasuke clenched his teeth, feeling the exact moment that Shizune healed him back to a hundred percent.

 _We're going to make good on that promise, right here. Right now._

Sasuke wove hand signs and lunged, shooting a small fireball at Tsunade, forcing her to jump back, a look of surprise on her face. She didn't expect them to start so soon.

"Don't take us so lightly!" He warned and dove right back into fighting. He was going to get her for what she did to him. _He_ was going to force the air out of _her_ lungs this time, hopefully with his foot.

He heard Sakura scramble to her feet and run towards Naruto. She skidded on her knees in front of him and Sasuke knew she had begun to heal him.

 _Hurry it up, Sakura._

But this time, he felt himself moving faster, passion and anger fueling each motion.

He threw a fist.

 _I'm._

Then a foot.

 _Going._

Then he twisted and tossed an elbow.

 _To_.

He lunged with a knee.

 _Hit._

He stopped short and threw a powerful roundhouse right at her torso.

 _You!_

She still dodged him, but just as she lifted her wrist to retaliate, she had to lunge backwards to avoid a volley of shuriken. Sakura and Naruto were on their way. He continued his barrage, throwing fist after fist and foot after foot, tossing himself left and right to rail his elbows and knees into his opponent like he'd been taught his whole life.

She managed to fend off all three of them. It made him feel like he had just left the academy: green and unskilled despite how much effort he poured into his training. It infuriated him.

"Sasuke!" Naruto broke through his rage, reminding him to slow down. They were wolves on a hunt and he was stepping too far ahead of the pack. He slowed down, forcing grace into his limbs instead of rage.

Fluid like water. Strong like the burn of a flame.

His body synched with his eyes, every movement utilized to its full potential, not a single motion wasted. Sakura appeared to his left. His eyes calculated her body movements, predicting her attack's trajectory. Naruto was still running towards them from his right.

 _Too slow_. _If we all converged as one…_

The sharingan caught Naruto's secret smirk and Sasuke's eyes widened in recognition before he pulled his fist back to attack. The time had finally come.

" _Shunsin-no-jutsu!"_

Tsunade's mouth dropped. It wasn't often that a genin knew a high-level technique like that and for how stupid Naruto made himself look, there was no reason for her to think he had some skill to back up his words. She turned her head towards Naruto, taking her calculating, amber eyes off of Sasuke and Sakura for just a second.

Big mistake.

To Sasuke's eyes, everything happened in slow motion. Sakura smashed her heel into the top of Tsunade's foot. Sasuke abandoned his punch, opened his fist and risked grabbing her wrist. Tsunade's jaw tightened, teeth clicking together in preparation to growl, but before a sound could come out of her mouth, Naruto flashed behind her.

Yes. _Behind her_. Not to the side that she had exposed, the side that Sasuke was immobilizing, the side she _expected_ Naruto to appear in. Sasuke smirked as he watched Naruto's foot come up and smash right into her left butt-cheek.

Juvenile, but entertaining.

She stumbled a little, but didn't lose balance, as expected. It would have been more effective to kick her at the base of her spine, but he knew that Naruto had some snarky comment ready that would probably get him smacked in the next three seconds.

"And _that's_ the kick in the ass you need to come back home-ttebayo!" He stood confidently with one hand on his hip and the other pointing a dominant finger at her. She growled, lifted her back leg, threw Sasuke with the strength of a hundred men and back-kicked Naruto in the chest with the power of a thousand more.

His best friend screamed as he crashed through a fence, but Sasuke only caught a glimpse of his suffering before he crashed into a stone building, losing all the air in his lungs for the second time that day. Every bone in his back cracked, and he slipped down to his forearms and knees. He tried to catch his breath as he listened to Naruto moaning and crawling out of the rubble.

"Here, go help your boyfriend."

Not a second later Sakura shrieked and when Sasuke lifted his head, all he saw was the big, Haruno clan symbol before she crashed right into his face, crushing his nose and pulling up his top lip till it hurt. She rolled over the top of his head and then smashed into the stone with the side of her body.

He laid on the ground, face throbbing as she dropped next to him with a groan.

"Sasuke!" She recovered quickly and he felt her chakra connect to his as she hovered her hands over his face. He blinked up at her, and then shut his eyes.

"That's the last time we do something _this_ stupid."

She let out a girlish giggle and he glared up at her.

"No, I'm serious."

"You little brat!" Tsunade's angry footsteps made the earth tremble beneath them all. She pulled Naruto up by the front of his jacket and Sasuke sat up to watch his best friend die, because there was no way in hell he was surviving what was next.

 _It was nice knowing you, Naruto. I'll make sure they take good care of your grave._

"He's dead," Sakura breathed as she shook her head, "so, _so_ dead."

Naruto had his hands up in surrender and to Sasuke's surprise, Tsunade gently placed him down on his feet, bent over and kissed his forehead.

"That's something my little brother would try to pull. You win. We'll head to Konoha tomorrow."

Sasuke flopped on his back in relief.

 _The Uchiha treasury is safe. Thank you, Naruto._

"You know you're going to tell me exactly what you've been hiding right?" Sakura watched Naruto cheer and dance in front of Tsunade, waiting for an answer from him. He sat back up, allowing his sharingan to fade.

"I was planning on it."

She nodded. "Great. Let's go."

* * *

 **ANOTHER TRIGGER SCENE BEYOND THIS POINT! PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HAND CHILD ABUSE SCENES!**

Every time. It happens every time I "die" here. I wake up and it's the same hospital room. A couple of times, I took a few minutes to look around before the doctor came. I stopped doing that when he brought friends, strapped me down and started cutting my head open with a screeching, rusted spinny-saw-thing.

Sometimes, I wonder why I even try. I should just constantly commit suicide every time I wake up or see someone. I can't do it though. That thing about self-preservation is no joke, or maybe it's just because I don't want to do what Frankie did to himself.

It's stupid to keep trying so why do I? There's no hope here, and today, or whenever right now is, it's no better. I literally stumbled through a doorway into a classroom and the nightmare has begun. It's too late to turn back.

It was the kindergarten classroom. Corpse children talked amongst themselves in a language I couldn't understand. The ones that understood my language and could communicate with me, snickered and didn't translate anything on the board to me. The desks were square, but I was seated at the only oval one. At this point it didn't matter where you were sitting: all the metal edges of the tables were rust-covered and sharp and all their surfaces were stained with dried blood. The sky outside was red, but it was brighter, signifying daytime.

I know who's going to walk in.

 _She_ is.

And _she_ does. Her wild, permed hair is matted to her scalp where it's rotting away, and her brain is dripping down the side of her face and neck, disappearing into the torn business suit, leaking down ripped stockings and into bright, red, heels. She walks in with a glare that conveys her animosity towards me and dislike of me.

 _Why_?

I never did anything to her. Not back then and not now. I was quiet in class. That was the best option; to just stay quiet and out of her way. It didn't work when she talked. When she opened her mouth to show cracked, rotted teeth, a voice didn't come out.

It was just noise I couldn't understand. Twelve, stringy heads of hair turned to look at me. Even the one Turkish boy—Ekran, I think his name was— who was nice to me turned his head to look, expecting an answer to whatever question she asked. I looked down at my feet.

Then she did it like she did it before. She marched up to me, demanded an answer and when I didn't give one, she grabbed my hair, tugged me up out of my seat and placed me into the time out chair in the corner. Except this time when she tugged, a whole chunk my hair fell out by the time I got to sit down.

I'm so ashamed again. I'm the bad kid again. I can't understand her. I can't understand what she's saying. When I sneak out the door, I'm back in that apartment, with that hole in my closet. I'm still holding my backpack straps as corpse mom gets so mad she throws a glass and asks me why I can't understand anything in school.

"Why can't you just fucking _learn_!? Like a normal kid!"

She continues her tirade and the decrepit apartment melts into a worse condition. Even the cockroaches are afraid of her. They run as she slowly moves towards me in her rage.

"If I knew you'd be so useless I wouldn't have had you! I shouldn't have had you!"

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm here.

She gets into my face. Her teeth are cracked, rotted and broke. I'm so scared I might pass out. I think I'm going to pass out. She grabs me by the throat.

And when she squeezes my neck snaps.

 **END OF THE TRIGGER SCENE! YOU CAN START READING NOW!**

* * *

I opened my eyes again. Woke again. This time I was shaking. I looked at my hands and the tattoo on my left arm. I'm an adult again. I'm not in the classroom, the closet, the apartment or the countless other places I've been beaten and starved. I still have no power. No chakra. Being alive was beautiful despite the sin and the death of the world I left behind. But the most beautiful thing was having the power to defend myself and my loved ones.

I clenched my fists. I die here over and over. I'm always going to lose here, but it's not like I forgot taijutsu, so fuck it. If I'm doomed no matter what, I might as well fight till they fucking fear me. I'll fight till they bring in their ruler to stop me.

It's going to take Satan himself to bring me down.

No one— _no one_ — is going to make me feel that small again. Fuck the closet. Fuck the apartment. Fuck the corpse-parents and the corpse-teachers. Fuck the school. Fuck everything about this place.

I looked at the _stupid_ loose bar on the bed. I'm going to need a bigger weapon than that. So I crawled out of bed, ignoring the maggots in the pillow and batting them out of my hair.

"Fuck this whole place. You fuckers want to play, huh? This is a fuckin' game to you, huh?" I was so pissed I started shaking. What kind of bullshit, fractured place is this?

"You motherfuckers think you can crush me?" My bare feet made slapping sounds as I walked up to the side of the bed and screamed in rage as I flipped the whole fuckin thing over. The rusted, metal leg of the bed was just about the right length. I worked quickly bending it back and forth and back and forth and back and forth over and over until it was time to rotate and twist it to break it off the rest of the way. I smashed it against the remaining window, picked up a sharp shard of glass and then shredded the stained maggot-pillow to get enough fabric to tie the glass to the metal, forging myself a makeshift spear. I kicked and shoved the bed until it blocked the lower half of the doorway, ignoring the squeaking wheels of the stupid fucking repetitive gurney down the hall and the stupid repetitive asshole I knew was pushing it around.

I'm done. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. I'm sick of my mistakes playing and replaying in front of my face. I'm sick of the torture and the pain and the never-ending cycle of fear and sadness. I'm sick of playing into this stupid fucking place. I'm going to make this my fucking territory and the next fuck that tries to walk through that door it going to get shanked.

Right on cue, the doctor showed up, crusty and burnt and gross as always.

"Come and get it motherfucker."

* * *

The fighting was disgusting and relieving at the same time, kind of like picking your nose or taking a shit. Every creepy phantom I killed made the pile of corpses in front of my doorway bigger. Eventually, the pile will be big enough to make a wall and keep the rest of them out for some time.

I fought and stabbed and slashed in every way I remembered until I couldn't anymore. I started to get sleepy what felt like hours later, but I kept fighting. I fought until the corpse wall reached the ceiling outside my doorway and blocked it completely. And when I reached my goal I laughed.

I laughed because I heard the footsteps behind me.

I can't win here. I can't win in hell. Why did I think I could?

I gripped my weapon and turned around.

Yusui. Not corpse-Yusui, like _actual-_ Yusui. The one I knew before he died for me. His bored, honey eyes scanned me up and down as he leaned against the wall adjacent to the doorway I fought in.

He's so much shorter than I remember.

"So this is the real you, huh, Yuzuha?" His tone wasn't questioning, it was accusing. Like a caught thief, I looked at the wall of bodies behind me and the spear in my hand.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed and pushed a perfect tendril of black hair off his forehead. "I've learned over the years that everywhere you go, you learn a lesson."

"Even in a place like this?"

"Especially in a place like this."

"So, what's the lesson?"

Yusui shrugged and slowly stuck his hands in his pockets, taking his time before he responded.

"I wonder if _this_ is really the person I died for."

I didn't say a damn word. He can keep talking. I don't trust anyone in this place anyway. Why should I bother to talk to some poser who's trying to make me feel worse than I already do? The real Yusui is long gone, probably living a life in some other world, hopefully much happier than I am right now.

"No? Not going to take the bait? Okay then, I'll spell it out for you. You're here because you suck. You're a horrible person, if this is truly where your soul belongs."

Thanks, asshole. I already knew that.

"You're violent and have no trust," he continued, "I'm standing here. I'm your teammate. You know me and yet you still grip that weapon ready to use it against me."

"Cut the shit. We both know you aren't Yusui."

He shook his head, disappointed. I felt stupid in front of him.

"Wow," he tsked, "Anyway, you're not only violent, you're power-hungry and angry as well. You try to act calm, but you aren't. Not deep down. You have so much hate in your heart, it's no wonder you're here. In fact, you _should_ be here. A place like this might even be good for you. It might be the safest place for you." He tipped his head to the corpses in front of the door. They were a mass of flesh and fabric, all different colors in different stages of decay. "Do you think you killed that many when you were alive?"

Probably more.

"Every corpse is a little trophy for you, isn't it? Admit it. Each death proves to you just how destructive you are but on the inside, you're just a scared little girl that never had anyone to pat her head and call her a princess."

"You shut your mouth," I hissed and glared, "You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about."

Except, he did know, didn't he? He lived in an abusive household too. His dad was just as much of an asshole as mine.

He narrowed his eyes and stared until his glare cut me right in the soul. "Give me a break and get over it. Look how cocky you got, just to protect your weak, inner self. Look where that got you! You survived so many fights you forgot what it was like to _fear,_ so tell me, how does it feel? This is what happens when you lose, Yuzuha. This is what happens when you forget that you _aren't_ indestructible!"

" _Shut up, shut up, shut up!"_

I squeezed my eyes shut and fisted my hair.

"You're a know-it-all, Yuzuha. You're a brat and a liar and a _murderer_. Your face is pretty but your soul is just as twisted as those corpses behind you. You're ugly Yuzuha. You're _ugly_."

"Shut up! Shut up!"

"Just _die_ already."

I felt his sword break through my sternum and slide up through my heart.

I woke again. But this time, with a gasp, and to air that had a familiar scent.

"Alstro…emeria?" I looked over, still flat on my back, just because I didn't want to see the bugs I knew were on the pillow. A single peony drew my eye to the center of a small bouquet of alstroemerias.

"Yuzu!"

I _know_ that voice! I was afraid to turn my head towards it, after everything I've been through. The peony and the alstroemerias—they were so beautiful. They were the most beautiful things I've seen in months. Tears built up in my eyes.

Shisui. Shisui. _Shisui_. It was his voice I heard. I squeezed my eyes shut and yelped when an onslaught of sensation flooded my mind.

Cherries. Blueberries. Wind. A storm. Sugar. Mint and cilantro. So many different energies swirled and swirled and swirled and all I could do was fist my hair and grit my teeth.

" _Shit_."

A chair scraped backwards across the floor and footsteps echoed in my ears. I panicked, because what if that's another corpse-person? What if it's corpse-Shisui?

I curled into myself, away from the hand I saw reaching for me in my mind.

 _I know that chakra_.

It was like wispy wind, kissing my cheeks in the sun.

 _Shisui. Shisui. Shisui._

No, no, no!

Something stung at the back of my hand and I hissed in pain. When I opened my eyes, there was bright red blood slowly dripping out of my skin, a needle connected to a bag of saline lying on the floor next to the hospital bed. Strands of red hair hung in front of my eyes as my fingers relaxed around them.

Jesus Christ. Please let this be real. I'm Yuzuha again. Please let this be real.

"Easy, easy. You're shaking."

I flicked my eyes to the side and felt tears run down my cheeks as Shisui dropped to a crouch in front of me, a concerned look in his ebony eyes. He placed a strong hand on my shoulder, his thumb rubbing my skin beneath the thin hospital gown I was wearing.

I _was_ shaking, and I shook even more as a few relieved sobs escaped my lips. I covered my mouth with my bloodied hand, and wailed, dropping my face into both palms. Something clicked into place and my head stopped hurting. I blocked out every other sensation in my mind and focused only on his.

On _Shisui's._

I'm back. I'm home! Is it because I served my sentence? I can _feel_ his chakra—God, it feels so nice. It's beautiful. _He's_ beautiful. He sat next to me on the bed and then pulled me into a hug: the warmest, most comfortable experience I've had in what seemed like forever. I took in his scent: cerdarwood with a hint of pine in his clothes.

Please don't let it end. I'm so comfortable. So warm. So cared for. This is perfect.

Too perfect.

"Shi—

I tried to take a deep breath to compose myself but I was so happy and relieved I just sobbed more. He rocked me back and forth.

"I'm here," he whispered quietly, "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You're safe here. You're safe with me, I promise."

I cried into the warm skin of his throat and turned my face, gripping his shirt beneath its wide collar.

"I'm here. You're safe, Yuzu. You're _safe,_ I promise." He kept repeating the words over and over until I nodded, finally accepting them.

"Are—

I swallowed because my throat was kind of dry.

"Are you real? I continued, "Is this real?"

His entire body stilled against mine. It was like a soft cloud around me had suddenly turned into stone.

There was a somber edge in his tone as he replied, "This is real. I can't begin to imagine what you just went through, but I can tell you that you were in Tsukuyomi— the same technique Itachi told us about. If you're still confused, remember that if the caster doesn't know what something is like, he or she can't replicate it accurately. Think, Yuzu. Is there something that doesn't match up?"

Is _that_ why she sent me to our world— the one we were in before we got sent here—because she knew she couldn't replicate everyone's chakras well enough to completely fool me? It makes sense. Is that why I haven't smelled anything until now? I took a deep breath, inhaling more of his scent. There was a hint of citrus, probably because he ate an orange recently.

"You smell and feel like you."

Warmth mixed with relieved happiness radiated within his chakra in steady waves. It calmed me more and I loosened my hands around his shirt. He hugged me tighter, as if he wasn't ready to let go, and out of pure relief I hugged him back, sliding my hands under his arms and around his back. I felt him press his cheek into the crown of my head, almost bursting with so many different emotions: sorrow, relief, determination, _love_ , protectiveness.

"I'm so happy we were able to bring you back," he murmured into my hair. I nodded, rubbing my cheek into his shirt.

"She sent me to hell, Shisui. I'm still scared that this might all melt away; that I'm just being set up to get the rug pulled out from under my feet."

His arms tensed again. "It's real. I promise it's real."

If this is reality, then how long have I been absent? What happened since I was last conscious?

"Please tell me what's been going on."

He chuckled and pulled away, tilting his head with a questioning look on his handsome face. "You're seriously already hunting for information?"

"I need something to analyze. I can't think about that place anymore; I don't want to."

He nodded in understanding, but I didn't miss the flash of rage that poisoned his sunny aura like pollution in a river. Shisui was sweet, caring, and kind, but when he was angry, he felt like an entirely different entity. The airy wisps of his chakra transformed into angry whips, ready to strike the next unfortunate soul to say the wrong thing.

"Okay. I'll get you up to speed, but if it's too much to handle you have to tell me, okay?"

I nodded at him and waited for him to speak.

He sighed, and if he had his hands free, I knew he'd run one of them through his hair in stress. "They got away. That girl—Erina— and Kisame. But there was something weird about the way they ditched us."

He paused for a moment and I could feel him picking the information he knew apart. He was baffled, but not ready to give up on trying to figure it out.

"They knew _everything_. I mean, _everything_. I didn't follow them because I took you to the hospital, but Itachi told me that she said things to piss everyone off—personal things. Personal and _true_ things. Like things only we and maybe the dead know. They had a counter-technique and counter-strategy for every technique of ours. They had a perfect counter to everything we threw at them while they ran further into the woods. Eventually they escaped with some seal they prepared beforehand. It burned away after they were gone. The scary thing is, though, Itachi said she made him feel like he was just a character in a book that she had a crush on. He couldn't get his mind around it. He said she kept saying that he should have massacred the clan by now. That _he_ should be in Akatsuki. Imagine that! Itachi in Akatsuki!"

It wasn't as hard for me as it was for him.

"There have been so many meetings to figure out how they could've known all that stuff and what that girl meant that I lost track of them a few days ago. Fugaku-oji thinks that her mangekyo might have an enhanced version of the sharingan's regular predictive abilities. Inoichi-sama agreed that she must have seen _a_ future long ago and just assumed that it came true."

Wow. Gotta hand it to them, that's a pretty solid theory.

"One thing that has been bugging me though, is why she kept saying that you didn't fit into the 'plot.' I don't get it. You've been with us since we were kids. If she's seen so much of our lives, why weren't you in whatever visions she must have had? I don't understand why she was speaking to you in another language either."

He reached a hand into his curls and rubbed his scalp, then sighed after dropping it to my shoulder and looking at me.

"Are you sure you've never met her before? Not even before you came to Konoha?"

You can bet your ass I shook my head and lied right into those pretty, black eyes of his.

" _You're a liar."_ Yusui's voice hissed in the back of my mind.

"Maybe she's confusing me for someone else?"

I squeezed my eyes shut against the mounting guilt in my chest. It took every ounce of my willpower to not break down and just tell him the truth about myself. I don't deserve the warmth and care he's giving me.

"Possibly," he replied, but it was obvious that his mind was still working through everything. That was just one of the many theories running in his head.

Finally, he sighed. "I don't know what to do. I mean, yeah, I'm going to follow orders and not pursue or search for those two, but I need answers. Who would have thought an Uchiha girl was being raised out there somewhere?"

He pulled me back towards him, shamelessly holding me against him. The action was so gentle and sweet, I felt monstrous for not reciprocating, so I wrapped my arms around him and listened to my heart pound in my ears.

"Anything is possible," I offered lamely.

"Aren't you angry?" he asked, his voice tight.

Am I angry?

"I don't feel anything right now."

Shouldn't have said that. I felt his heart break a little.

"Well, let it catch up," he said. He held me away by my shoulders before wiping a stray tear off my cheek. "I'll be right here," he promised with a sad smile. He wanted to help so badly, but had no idea how.

"Is Tsukuyomi supposed to be so exhausting?" Even though the warmth of his fingers was making me dizzy and greedy for more, my mind was crying for sleep. I felt like I had been awake for days on end.

Sleep. Sleep is perfect.

"Want me to leave? The bed is all yours."

I made a face because the last place I want to sleep after everything I've been through, is a god-damn hospital bed.

"I can stay in it with you if you'd like," he smirked, all mischief and play and then winked, waiting for me to blush and swoon.

"Pervert." I did blush, though. You would too if you just imagine laying down next to Uchiha Shisui and his sculpted, hard body.

He blushed back and gave me a wounded look, slapping a hand over his chest dramatically.

"Oh Yuzuha! Will you not accept this body as yours!? What ever shall I do to withstand this brutal rejection!?" He flung that hand to his forehead, pretending to sway on his feet, as if he were about to faint.

I laughed at his antics and straightened up to join in on them.

"Forgive me, Shisui! But we cannot be!"—No really, we actually _cannot_ be, but anyway— "You must turn the other way and find another woman!"

He laughed at my response and then shook his head. "I'm glad you can still joke around, but you really should sleep. Tsunade-sama will be back tonight to check on all her patients. I'm sure she'll give you a full evaluation when she does."

"Tsunade-sama?"

"Yeah, it took a while but Jiraiya-sama managed to bring her home."

A _while_? The interim hokage term! Did she make it!?

"Who's hokage!?"

I made a move to get jump off the bed but, lightning-quick, Shisui kept me in place by my shoulders.

"Oh no, no. You stay right there," he warned with pinched brows and a serious expression.

"You were supposed to fill me in, not leave me in the dark!" I accused, glaring up at him. "If it's been a while that means that the interim term for Fugaku-sama must be up! Who is our leader!"

"Yuzu," he sighed looking worn out, "I will tell you everything, but if you're tired you should really rest."

"I can sleep when I'm dead. Start talking." I crossed my arms beneath my chest and then thought better of it since I wasn't wearing a bra of any kind. I settled for pressing my thumbnail into my palm.

He rolled his eyes and palmed his forehead over his headband. "Fine, fine," he sighed, and then settled in to tell me everything else I was missing.

"Tsunade-sama was just an hour late over the deadline. Fugaku-sama became hokage by default, but he was willing to abdicate the office. In fact, he tried, but pressure from the villagers, plus her refusal to do it made the daimyo decide to keep him in the position." I was staring at him with an open mouth and he grinned at me. "Wait, it gets better. So, the elder council threatened to arrest her if she didn't become the assistant hokage, and uh, how do I put this? She _literally_ almost broke the village in half with her fist. Fugaku-oji asked her nicely, though and it worked out. So they're co-leading the village."

I jammed my fingers into my scarlet hair.

 _Whaaaaaat?_ How can so much shit change in such a short absence?

"So she's gonna be around for a while, now," he continued, "The inauguration ceremony for Fugaku-oji is tomorrow."

"What about Itachi?" I looked up at him, hoping for some better news.

I didn't get any. Shisui's face fell.

"His days outside the village are over. The police force and the clan are under his care now."

Poor Itachi. The last place he wants to be is in the village filling his father's shoes when he could be out on important missions.

"This… _sucks_." But I know Itachi. He'll adapt. If anything, he's probably just glad that Shisui is still able to move around freely and do what's necessary for the village on the outside.

"I know. Other than that, everything's okay. Just rest, okay? I'm going to go grab food from the twenty-four-hour store before the nurses try to feed you some packaged crap. I'll be right back."

I nodded at him and watched him wink and disappear. When his sunshine was gone, everything dark and evil in my soul came out to play and the first thing I latched onto was the image of her smirking face and the burning need for revenge.

Fucking bitch.

I swished my chakra around my body like twirling wine in an elegant glass, getting the hang of it again. It wasn't hard. It came to me like second nature. Then, I smacked my palm onto the bed next to my lap, summoning Yami and Byakuya.

"Hime-sama!" Byakuya flew around my head and settled on my shoulder, pushing her cute little nose into my neck as a greeting.

Yami settled into my hands.

"What's making you so mad, hime-sama?"

Byakuya stilled as I patted her head with the tip of my finger.

"Someone hurt me very badly and made me suffer."

"The chakra in your mind is…off, for lack of a better term. It seems as if its returning to normal quite rapidly, but hime-sama, is it due to a powerful genjutsu?"

"Genjutsu!?" Yami freaked. "I bet it was that peasant scum, Shisui!" He flapped his wings angrily. "When I find him I'm going to screech until his brain melts!"

"It wasn't Shisui, Yami. Calm down. But it was an Uchiha. Her name is Erina, but she also calls herself Stephanie. Her chakra feels like a sturdy piece of metal and she travels with a man whose chakra feels like the deepest, darkest part of the ocean. She has a great infatuation with this man and always refers to him as Kisame-sama, or Kisame-senpai. You'll see a bunch of chakra strings woven together on her back. It's what she used to hold together her weapon. I want you to find these people and follow them. Listen to their conversations and try to follow them back to their hideout. I want to know everything they do down to their bathroom schedules. But, if it becomes dangerous, return to the cave, then reverse-summon to me. If they notice you or try to take you out, retreat."

"Understood!" They both agreed and flew out the window, Byakuya giving my neck one last love-bite before following her brother.

Kisame and Erina made a huge mistake. Before they showed up, I had no idea what kind of chakra to search for, or have my bats search for. They thought that they were the only ones gathering information by coming to Konoha and covering their asses as they left. Joke's on them.

"It's only a matter of time before I find you, and when I do you'll never know what hit you 'till you're already dead," I murmured under my breath.

I laid back and closed my eyes, officially ready to pass out, but the moment I did, I was pulled into another world. One much different than I experienced in Tsukuyomi.

"It's time for some answers, human wretch," Kurama rumbled.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

I just can't ever catch a break.

* * *

Woo! Okay, so, good news, guys!

I'm not homeless! Yaaaaaaay!

I found a place and moved in blah blah blah took me a while to really get shit together and a while longer to sit and write since I worked extra hours and extra hard to pay rent and bills for a few months until I was absolutely certain that I could hold down the fort.

ANYWAY

I am proud and pleased to announce that I am working on a book, an original work, and I have six, whole chapters out! Woooo! I have started a twitter dedicated to the process of writing it and will try to post things daily to gain some steam!

Follow my profile NightWriterJuly.

Speaking of my penname change, I think it's cooler, so I hope you do too. ^_^

A little bit about writing this chapter:

I can't tell you how long it took me to write something good. I wrote, edited and deleted a total of four times. And I mean, huuuuuuuuge chunks of texts. *wipes sweat off brow* It was rough. But whatever! It's out! So I hope you guys like it!

So yeah!

Review. PM. And of course, follow me on twitter! NightWriterJuly

See you, Space Cowboy!

Disclaimer: No.


	25. The Kusakage

How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto

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Last time on How Uzumaki Yuzuha Ruined Naruto: There was a deadline for the interim hokage position that Tsunade missed. She refused the title of hokage when the council and Fugaku himself opted to just give her the seat anyway, but she still refused. Pressed for time and pressured by the village, Fugaku was chosen to continue leading the village. Although, the council forced Tsunade to be somewhat of a "vice hokage" or the assistant to the hokage, because they don't want Konoha in Uchiha hands. Poor Itachi is stuck in the village doing his father's work.

Meanwhile, Yuzuha awaked from Tsukuyomi traumatized. With a little help from Shisui she recovered enough to promise to take revenge on Erina for what she did, sending Byakuya and Yami, her little mini-bats, to find Erina and Kisame now that she could describe their chakras to them. Just as she was about to fall asleep, Kurama decided to pull her into her subconscious and have a little chat about how she knew his name.

-X-

The scenery was weird. That's the only word that really fits: weird. It looked like a field with pretty flowers and a near-cloudless sky except the colors were all wrong and the sun was blocked by a disc, like a solar eclipse, casting a violet light over the heavens above, making everything look like it was beneath a black light. The grass was navy and the flowers were a poisonous-looking purple. The tree in the distance had all its leaves but they were brown instead of green. It was a healthy tree with sick colors. The wind was warm and damp and it rustled my hospital gown.

Kurama was in front of me in a giant cube of a cage with ornate metal bars locked shut with a seal. He was curled up and I would think he looked cute and approachable if it weren't for the murderous look in his red eyes.

"Couldn't you have put me in regular clothes?" I put my hands on my hips.

"This isn't _my_ mindscape. Change your own clothes."

"I don't feel like it."

"Then start explaining."

I paused and watched him breathe. His fur looked so soft, but I knew better than to get any closer to him than I was.

"I don't know if it's even okay to tell you."

I _felt_ his anger at my response. It was terrifying but I reminded myself that he's a softie on the inside. "I'm serious. The reason why I keep things secret is for the benefit of everyone, including you."

"I demand the truth."

Or what? He'll rattle the bars of his cell?

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I challenge that."

I shrugged. "Okay," I paused as I thought about where to start, and then sighed, "So, I'm actually a dead person from another world…"

I lost track of time as I explained who I was, or am, or whatever. I told him how I died, how I came to be here in this world, and then retold Naruto's story up to where I left off and explained how I've royally screwed everything up. Kurama didn't say a word as I described the story of his origin to prove that I wasn't lying. Then, I told him my plans for the future and how he factors into them along with everyone else. When I finished, there was a heavy silence that hung between us, broken up only by the rustling of the wind through the grass.

"Peace is impossible amongst humans and someone like you will never achieve it," he challenged me.

I frowned and cross my arms, ready for a debate. "I never said I would try. World peace isn't my mantle—it's Naruto's. You know me, Kurama. I'm the war that precedes the peace. I'm no hero."

"Hmph," he paused, "At least you know your place."

I nodded at him, a little solemnly.

"I want to observe this plan of yours," he decided, "It's entertaining. I don't think it will work out the way you think it will. Humans are selfish, and you are no exception. The power you have is already perverting your mind."

Very true. I _am_ power-hungry; I don't deny it. And the more power I have, the better and more secure I feel.

"My plan _will_ come to fruition." I straightened my shoulders and puffed out my chest.

"I will never help you," he warned, "don't even think of using me for your garbage strategies."

Jeez, _ouch._

"I don't need your help," I countered, "and I'm certainly not going to use you to get my way. If there's anything I learned from the original story, it's that what Madara did to you was wrong. If you ask me, he was cheating. Just sit tight for now and enjoy the show. I'd let you out of here if I could sooner, but that might screw the timeline up even worse. The village would distrust me and everything I've worked for up until now could be destroyed. On top of that, you wouldn't be safe with what's lurking out there waiting to make use of your power. I promise that at the end of this, I will be dead and you will be free. It's just a matter of time."

There was another tense silence before he blinked and said, "I still don't like you."

I snorted. "That's fine by me. I don't like myself either; I see where you're coming from. Oh, by the way, I'm sorry I suppressed you for so long. You must've been really bored."

"Not even Kushina could accomplish what you did with your chains."

I shrugged. "Everything in this world is about willpower and resolve, right? We're in my mindscape, right? She would have figured it out inside her own mindscape if she tried, too." I sighed and dropped my arms. "Anyway, if there's one good thing that came out of that miserable tsukuyomi, it's this conversation." If it wasn't for that bitch Kurama would have never been "unlocked." "I'm not trying to be sappy, but I'm glad I was able to tell someone about myself." I bowed deeply. "Thank you, Kurama. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for bed."

I yawned as my mindscape began to blur. Kurama's voice became a whisper in the distance, but I still heard what he said:

" _I still don't like you."_

-X-

The days that followed my discharge from the hospital passed in a busy whirlwind. Almost immediately after I got home to hug Naruto—I'm not joking, I had maybe about two minutes with him before an anbu showed up out of nowhere to order me to attend a meeting with Fugaku-sama. I gave him my complete report about what had happened between me and Stephanie, hiding and skewing things here and there as necessary, and right afterwards, I was quickly whisked away to a council of clans meeting.

I didn't even get to chat with Itachi before the meeting began. We went over different strategies to present to Fugaku-sama about how we can locate and track the Akatsuki members roaming about. They were still largely unknown and mysterious. Everything from sending an undercover operative to make a request for their services, to doing aerial sweeps over the five nations was suggested. We drafted the list, edited it, and sent it in a whole four hours later. After going over some general security stuff, I finally got to go home, shower and change, only to find a note on my table from Naruto, asking me to go to the Uchiha manor ASAP.

It was dinnertime and I thanked every Tengu god that the Uchiha worshipped for the perfect timing. I wouldn't have to cook myself a terrible-tasting meal. I eagerly dressed in a white and red kimono top, long leggings, low cut boots and my arm warmers. I pinned my headband to my sleeve to complete the look and dipped out, my hair still damp from the shower.

I was going to dinner, not to war, so the gear was largely unnecessary, but you can never be too careful.

Mikoto greeted me with a hug that rivaled Shisui's. I could tell she felt guilty for what had happened. I can't imagine why, but the softness in her tired eyes made me feel bad that she felt bad. I just grinned at her and told her how pretty she looked with her hair half up and half down. Chuckling, she ushered me inside and told me that Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura have been bursting at the seams, waiting for me to get here just so they could tell me how they won against Tsunade.

Dinner was in the dining hall today at a large, but not tall wooden table with plush pillows for everyone on the floor around it. The food was already piled on top of the table and all that was left was to put it on my plate and eat.

I didn't realize how hungry I was, 'till I opened my mouth to ask a question and was rudely interrupted by my own stomach growling like a brewing storm. I blushed as everyone laughed.

"How did you guys time this so perfectly?" I literally just managed to get ready and make it here right after the food was set up. It was too perfect. Am I being watched?

Shisui winked, seated next to Fugaku's empty space at the head of the table.

"This guy made sure everything was in motion after the meeting you guys left." He jerked his thumb towards a smiling Itachi next to him. "We just estimated how long it would take you to show up after it."

"Okay, okay, sit, _sit_!" Naruto urged from his seat next to Shisui. "I _have_ to tell you how cool we were!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, seated to his mother's left and Sakura giggled into her hand, neatly perched on her pillow to my right.

"We found her in a restaurant," Sasuke started, and Naruto took over from there, waving his arms and ignoring his food so he could put on a show while he recounted the events.

"And Sasuke was like," he circled his fingers around his eyes and made a wide-eyed terrified expression, "I don't care if we win on a technicality!"

"That's not how it went," Sasuke argued.

"That's exactly how it went," Sakura took a demure bite of her rice, clearly betraying Sasuke's trust by siding with Naruto.

"You were there! You know what the situation was like! I did _not_ say it in that 'scaredy' tone!"

Mikoto chuckled as she sipped her tea. She looked so happy to have her loved ones altogether.

"I bet you _anything_ Sasu-chan was shaking in his sandals." Shisui grinned, elbowing Itachi.

Sasuke glared at him so fiercely his eyes bled red. How _dare_ anyone try to make him look bad in front of his big brother! Shisui held his hands up, his chopsticks threaded in between the fingers of his right hand.

"I don't think my little brother would tremble in the face of adversity like that. Right, Sasuke?" Itachi was such a great older sibling.

" _Exactly,_ " Sasuke huffed, smirking and then turning back to his food.

After dinner was done, Mikoto brought out this delicious chocolate-hazelnut cake. Ugh…I gorged on it so gluttonously… Guys, I'm disgusting. By the time I finished, I felt like I was radiating heat from my full stomach. I didn't wanna move.

"Nee-chan! C'mon, we gotta go home!" Naruto dropped on all fours, crawled next to me and poked my face. I twisted my head away from him

"Why? Let me die here, Naruto, I can't go on." I was laying on my side, sprawled over the pillow, an arm over my stomach, asking myself why on earth I wore a kimono top that required a tight, red obi as part of the ensemble.

What have I done? Woe is me!

"Sakura-chan!" Shisui wailed dramatically and dropped down next to Naruto. He grabbed my wrist and checked for a pulse. "We need a medic! Stat!"

Sakura's face was priceless. She was _not_ going to play into this.

"You guys are ridiculous." Both she and Sasuke spoke at the same time, blushed, and then ignored that they just spoke simultaneously.

"No, we're losing her Shisui-nii!" Naruto grabbed his hair, playing into the scene.

"It's the food! It's eating her alive from the inside—Itachi do something, hurry!"

"It's too late already," Itachi murmured and then took an elegant sip of his tea.

"Wha— _hey_!" I shot up off the floor, glaring at him as he placed his tea cup back on the table. "You can't just abandon me like that!"

He smiled. "I can if it helps your little brother out."

I placed my fists on my hips as Naruto and Shisui laughed, high-fiving next to me.

"You shouldn't have eaten so much," Sasuke chastised me from his seat across the table.

I stuck my tongue out. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to _not_ eat my heart out when your mom is cooking. Spoiled brat. You don't know how good you have it."

"Yeah, you're right— no wonder Naruto is always here. If he ate your cooking he'd probably die."

I grimaced. He wasn't wrong. Shisui draped an arm over me.

"Don't pay attention to him. You make a fabulous fever reducer blend," he joked, reminding me of the times I took care of him when he was sick and too stubborn to just go to the hospital.

I glared at him and he chuckled nervously. "Maybe you should bartend?" he offered meekly.

"Quit making fun. Yuzuha-chan will be a fabulous cook someday, right?" Mikoto beamed at me and I couldn't help but smile back at her encouragement. It'll never happen, but it's nice to know she has faith in me.

"Nee-chan, c'mon. We have a mission tomorrow."

"What's that?"

"Idunno," Naruto turned his head towards his best friend, "Sasuke, your dad said to report really early, right?"

Sasuke nodded and Naruto turned back to me. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Okay, but I'm going to need help."

Naruto was up on his feet and grasping my hands a second later. Sakura came by to help him. They each grabbed an arm as I pretended to be dead. Shisui put his hands under my armpits and together the three hoisted me up.

"You're overfed, not drunk," Sasuke snipped and I started cackling.

"I know, but it's fun anyway. Carry me, peasants! I demand a palanquin at once!"

"Yes your majesty! You may use my back!" Shisui bent over, pointed to his back and chuckled as Naruto laughed.

"She'll break your spine, Shisui-nii."

"And just who are you being snarky with?" I asked "innocently" as I met eyes with my little brother. He swallowed hard and looked away a nervous sweat forming on his temples.

"J-just kidding? Eh-heh-heh?"

"Let me pack some things for you," Mikoto offered and began to stand but Sasuke and Itachi both shot to their feet, Sassuke putting his palm up to stop her. She paused and beamed at her polite children.

"Let nii-san and I do that!" Sasuke ran into the kitchen without even waiting for a response. She and Itachi shared a warm smile as the elder brother retreated to the kitchen after the younger. Meanwhile, Mikoto escorted Shisui, Naruto, Sakura and I to the door. She hugged both Naruto and Sakura warmly and told them to be careful tomorrow, since she wouldn't see them. Sasuke and Itachi returned, handing us a huge bag of leftovers, and we all said our goodbyes. Naruto and I walked Sakura to her apartment and took the back streets to get to our complex.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" His tone was cautious.

"Sure, shoot."

"I want Shisui-nii to train me, but I don't know if it's okay to ask. He's always really busy and stuff, so," he trailed off and finally shrugged.

 _This_ is a sticky situation. Shisui's needed on the outside of the village. Itachi's stuck on the inside from now on. The village could lose two really good chess pieces if they're both not on the field doing whatever clandestine things they're required to do.

On the other hand, I'm tired of seeing the exhaustion in his eyes.

"Ask him directly. In fact, I don't know why you didn't just ask him before we left. C'mon. We're going to his house before he gets called out on another mission."

"Eh!? But—but the mission tomorrow!"

"We'll be fast. I've been working on something. Check this out." I grabbed his hand, made a tiger sign to sync both our chakras, searched for a location and then seconds later, we were in Shisui's living room.

Naruto blinked.

"Eh? Genjutsu?"

"Nope. Teleportation." I finally got confident enough to transport people with me.

"What are you guys doing here?" Shisui walked into his living room from the kitchen, not at all perturbed by our presence, though, I knew better. The moment we arrived and he sensed us, we were on his kill list. If we weren't familiar faces we'd have died seconds ago.

I turned around, away from the back of the couch, and pulled Naruto forward, launching him in front of Shisui by his arm. The blonde stumbled a bit before bowing deeply.

"Nii-chan, I would like to study under you! Please accept me as your official student."

Shisui blinked in surprise and looked away from Naruto's bent form, meeting my eyes. I smirked and crossed my arms.

"So? Feel like training up another Uzumaki?"

He gave me a lighthearted smile. "You guys need to get your own techniques! Stop copying! That's an Uchiha thing!"

Naruto lifted his head. I couldn't see the look in his eyes from behind him, but I knew that it must've been intense based on the way Shisui's own expression softened into a sad smile.

"Unfortunately, I can't Naruto. Maybe here or there, but I can't take you on full-time. You know Itachi is stuck in the village now. Someone he trusts needs to be on the outside, doing the work or he'll be even more stressed than he already is. You understand?"

Naruto was disheartened, but he nodded. Shisui clapped his hands on his shoulders.

"Don't think you're off the hook, though. There will come a day where you least expect me and I'll be there to light the fire under your pants." Shisui winked, and Naruto nodded. He was still upset, but it was impossible for Shisui to _not_ make someone feel better about something.

We said our goodbyes and left, the rest of our walk quiet.

-X-

 **Sakura** stood at attention in front of the two desks in the hokage office. Tsunade-sama was sitting back in her chair, arms crossed under her large breasts while Fugaku-sama had his elbows on the table, his dark eyes assessing team seven and their sensei. Finally, he spoke, dropping his arms and folding them neatly on the desk.

"This mission is going to _seem_ easy, but rest assured that it is not."

When he deemed that the statement had sunk in, he cleared his throat and continued. "I need the utmost professionalism on this assignment. The daimyo believes there is a hit out on his daughter. Ordinarily, for something like this, I would have assigned Hatake alone, however, there has been a debate over this generation's shinobi. When the daimyo and his advisors visited, they were not impressed with the behavior of your age group. I won't mention what happened, but you three are here to fix that impression on this mission. That means no horsing around, no slacking, and little to no talking. Are we clear?"

Proudly, team seven vowed that they understood. Sakura would not fail her village, and looking over at her boys, she knew they wouldn't either.

"I am leaving the planning to Hatake. I want all our village's prowess to shine from you three like a beacon in the dark. Do _not_ fail this village."

Team seven and Kakashi-sensei bowed respectfully, but before they left, Tsunade-sama cleared her throat.

"May I have a moment alone with Haruno-san?"

 _Me? What on Earth does she want from me?_

When they straightened Sakura locked eyes with Naruto, then with Sasuke. Naruto conveyed encouragement while Sasuke radiated concern. She nodded at both of them and smiled when Kakashi-sensei ruffled her hair. When the three were gone, Fugaku-sama sighed and got up from his chair.

"I'm going to go for a walk."

AKA: _I'll let you have your privacy._ Tsunade-sama nodded at him and when he left, she got right down to business.

"I have a proposition for you."

"A…proposition?" Sakura blinked, heart pounding.

 _Why do I feel like this is something really big? Chill out Sakura...But why can't I?_

Tsunade-sama nodded. "I've noticed the level of chakra control you exhibit in battle," she pressed her fingertips together, "and I need someone to pass my skills onto. I tried with Shizune, but there is only so much she can do. She'd be better off throwing fireballs like your teammate with the amount of chakra she has."

Sakura's heart leapt. She clasped her hands by her chest in an effort to contain the bursting feeling in her chest.

" _Really!?"_

 _I get to train with a legend!?_

Tsunade-sama raised a brow. "I didn't make you stay back for no reason. Do you accept or should I ask someone else?"

"Of course I accept! Thank you so much!" She bowed and considered cow-towing because how else could she express her happiness short of hugging the woman?

"Great, we start when you get back. Don't get assassinated."

Sakura straightened and smirked.

"I have my team." She didn't need to say any more to relay her confidence in not only herself, but Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei as well. Tsunade-sama gave her a proud smirk.

When Sakura stepped outside the tower, she found her boys waiting for her. Kakashi-sensei was reading a book against the railing, Sasuke was next to him with his hands in his pockets and Naruto hung upside down from the railing near the top of the tall steps, the tips of his hair hanging just a few centimeters above the concrete. He launched his torso upwards and slid into a seated position, facing her and then grinning at her.

"How'd it go?"

She beamed as Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke looked over. "I have a new sensei!"

"I'm both offended and heartbroken, Sakura-chan," Kakashi-sensei "lamented" into his book. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Sound more believable next time."

He saluted her. "Will do."

"Congratulations!" Naruto clapped his hands together, beaming at her like the sunshine above her head. Her heart swelled for the second time that day.

"Tch, don't get killed," Sasuke huffed, but Sakura knew he was happy for her in his own way. A tiny upwards twitch at the corner of his mouth proved it to her.

"So I guess we leave immediately?" Naruto asked, looking over at Kakashi-sensei. Their teacher nodded at him and pushed his body off the railing.

"Let's all go get ready. Meet at the gates in fifteen."

"Rodger that!" Naruto disappeared, leaving Sakura speechless. He was getting better at that teleportation thing. It was so _Shisui_ she had to blush. After so many years he was still her older-boy crush.

 _When will I get over that?_

-X-

 **Naruto** unlocked his apartment door. He knew who was in his home before he laid eyes on them— Yuzu-nee and Ero-senin.

When his eyes met his sister's as he stepped into the genkan, he knew she had already expected him.

 _Something's making nee-chan uncomfortable._

He knew her well enough to tell.

She was standing against the small round table. Ero-sennin was sitting behind her, calmly drinking his tea as if nothing was wrong, but if anything that was an indication that he was stressed too.

 _What were they talking about before I came in?_

"Uhm," he paused in taking his shoes off, "should I just go and come back later?"

Yuzu-nee shook her head.

"Sit down. We were waiting here for you," she instructed and moved aside to further indicate the empty chair across from Jiraiya-sensei. Cautiously, Naruto nodded and sat down. As soon as he pushed his chair in, Yuzu-nee whirled around, crossing her arms "loosely." She wasn't fooling him— he could see the tenseness in her shoulders.

"What's up?" he asked, trying to keep his tone even.

"I want you to go on a journey with me," Jiraiya-sensei spoke after clearing his throat, "when you're done with this next mission. I want you to be my official pupil, not just some brat I give pointers to every so often. What do you say?"

He turned his head towards his sister and studied her expression. Somehow, he knew she was worried for him. Maybe she was sad too? Hey eyes held a melancholy that looked like an uncomfortable goodbye.

"Are…are we gonna be gone for long?"

 _That has to be it, right?_

"Heh, you're a perceptive kid. It's an extended trip, you're right. Like the one your sister took with me a while ago. It'll be worth it, I promise."

"Why?"

Jiraiya-sensei shrugged. "I have my reasons. Maybe one day I'll tell you them." He took a final sip of his tea, downing the rest of the cup, and then stood up. He pressed a hand into Yuzu-nee's shoulder and showed himself out. Naruto turned to his sister.

"Fess up," he pinned her with a suspicious look. She broke into a sad smile, walked over and held his face in her hands.

"You know you're special, right?"

"Eh?"

She wasn't joking. Her grey eyes were stone-serious.

"I'm not kidding, Naru, you're a special kid."

"Because I'm the fourth hokage's son?"

"If I knew why I'd tell you. But you're a light in the dark, okay? Just remember that, 'kay?"

She squished his cheeks between her palms and let go, poking the center of his chest afterwards.

She held her finger there for a moment and said, "You have something special in here, so nurture it and make sure you never lose sight of yourself. No matter what, always be Naruto. Can you promise me that?"

Naruto grinned and lifted his thumb— a quiet promise.

 _That's too easy to do, nee-chan!  
_ -X-

"So, why are you following me?" **Sasuke** was nearing his house, but Kakashi still kept pace with him.

"What? I can't see my cute student's new little sister?"

"Pedo."

"You'll find out why when we get there. Your mother is home, right?"

"At this time of day, usually. But you never know."

She was home. When Sasuke entered his house, she greeted them both warmly— the perfect host and wife as usual.

"I haven't seen you in a long time, Hatake-san. Please, make yourself at home." She stepped aside and held her hand out for him to enter beyond the genkan.

Kakashi shook his head.

"I'm not going to be here long. I just have something to say."

 _Say the wrong thing to my mother and it will be the last time you say anything._

The defensiveness was instinctual and admittedly ugly.

"Of course, please go ahead."

"I've already asked your husband and received his blessing, however I want to ask you before anything."

His mother blinked, turned to Sasuke for a moment, and then shifted her gaze back to Kakashi. She nodded and waited for him to continue.

"I want to take your son on as an official apprentice, something more than just a genin on my squad. He has a lot of potential."

 _What?_

Sasuke whipped his head towards Kakashi, surprised. _That_ was unusual. His mother was surprised too. She placed a hand to her mouth as stared with wide eyes before collecting herself and giving him a warm smile.

"I was pleased when I found out you would be my son's jonin instructor and now, I am honored that you have decided to be his master. You have both my blessing and my gratitude, Hatake-san."

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, his one visible eye crinkling shut.

"Thanks! I'll be going now. Get packing, Sasuke. When we get back from this mission you're going to be my shadow, so start getting used to it now."

Sasuke paused before saying, "Right." He watched him bow to his mother and when the door shut behind him, she wrapped her arms around Sasuke. He hugged her back and closed his eyes. His mother's hugs were the best.

"I am so proud to be your mother, Sasuke-chan. I'm proud of the shinobi and the man that you're growing into. Hatake-san is exceptional and I have no doubt in my mind that you will be even better."

She pulled away with a warm smile and pecked him on the cheek. Just then his sister started crying from the nursery upstairs. His mother grinned.

"She _always_ knows when you're about to leave. Why don't you hold her for a bit before you go? I'll pack your stuff."

Sasuke nodded and he and his mother went their separate ways once they climbed the stairs to the second floor. The moment Sasuke stepped into the nursery, Suzume quieted. She must have seen him through the bars of her crib because she started laughing. Sasuke smiled at her and lifted her up. She kicked her feet excitedly as he brought her closer to his chest.

 _I wonder if this is what Itachi-nii felt like when he held me. I have to do my best so I can get stronger and protect you… or even better, teach you how to protect yourself._

" _Saaaaa_!"

Sasuke blinked.

"What?"

" _Saaaaa_!"

She waved her hand at him and he adjusted his arms so he could give her a finger to hold onto. When her warm little hand squeezed him she giggled like a tinkling bell.

"Sa! Sa!"

"Is that how you say my name? Does mom know?"

She made a curious sound and blinked up at him with large, questioning eyes.

"I've never even heard you say 'mama' or 'papa.' She's going to be heartbroken if you keep saying that."

" _Sa!"_ she cheered more, "Sa!"

"Sa…suke. Say it. Sa…suke," he coached her quietly. God forbid his mother found out Suzume's first word was a butchered version of his name.

"Sa! Sas!"

"Close. Not yet though. Sa-suke. _–suke_."

 _C'mon kid, you can do it._

"Sas! Sas! Sas!"

"Almost. Try again. Sas… _uke_."

"Sake?"

His whole world crashed around him.

"No! Not sa—

"Sasuke-chan, I have your things!"

He jumped so hard he almost dropped Suzume.

 _When on earth did she sneak up on us? Did she see any of that?_

"Sake! Sake! Sake! Sake! Sake!"

Slowly, he turned to face his mother, terrified of what she would think. Her only daughter's first word was _sake_. When he saw his mother, he found her shoulders shaking. He was the most relieved he'd ever been when he heard her laughing.

"She tried to say your name!"

"M- _mom_! It's not funny!"

"It is!"

"Sake! Sake! Sake! Sake!"

He glared down at Suzume.

"Stop that. Sa- _suke_! Sasuke! _Sasuke_!"

She giggled. "Sake! Sake! Sake!"

 _I failed. I failed as a big brother._

He bent down and kissed her forehead.

"I love you anyway."

"I'll teach her while you're away. I promise." His mother held out his backpack and when he walked closer to her, he held out his sister.

"She'll get it."

-X-

 **FILLER STARTS HERE! THIS IS A FILLER SECTION BUT TEAM SEVEN IS CUTE SO YOU SHOULD READ IT ANYWAY!**

"So, why am I in a kimono, again?" Sakura glowered. Her mood was horrendous. Her distaste was so potent in the air, **Sasuke** found that he almost choked on it.

"You have weapons hidden in it, though, right? So, you're just covering them up with a kimono. You're not actually _wearing_ a kimono. It's different," Naruto tried to appease her, but she glared holes into his face anyway.

"This isn't some stupid kunoichi mission! What on earth is Kakashi-sensei thinking!? Look what they did!" She pointed to her head, filled with sparkling ornaments. "Look, Sasuke!"

 _Shit_.

She was turning her rage towards him. Of course. Why did he expect anything different? Sasuke shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

"It looks fine. Actually, it looks _nice_. Suck it up." He slid his gaze over to the warm, crème walls of " _princess Haruno's"_ room, decorated with a painted, red pattern.

When they were on their way here, they each had their own ideas about what protecting the daimyo's daughter was going to be like. Sakura obviously thought she was going to be cutting assassins in the night, if this was so opposite of what she expected.

Regardless, none of them expected Kakashi-sensei to stop at an inn on the way and force Sakura to dress up as a foreign princess on a trip to visit her dear friend in the capitol with an escort of shinobi. It was clever. Send in a distraction, and make it look like she's the one being protected, not the actual princess who needs the protection. At night, when an attack is likely, they'll think that he, Naruto and Kakashi will be protecting Sakura, when they'll actually be skulking around the real princess' chambers.

"You would have been a prettier distraction," she hissed, "Not me. Why did he make _me_ do this!?" She snapped a finger at him, and he glared back with all his might.

"Are you trying to say I look like a girl!?"

"Actually, if your hair was longer and you were wearing a dress, may—

Sasuke punched Naruto's shoulder before he could finish the statement.

"No." He then turned back to Sakura. "You're doing this because you're a girl and it's believable. Now shut up and act like a lady. Don't blow this for us. Be helpless. Be everything they expect you to be so that when it's time to show them you're not, _we_ have the advantage."

The room fell silent. Sakura blushed and folded her hands in front of her obi. She looked down and away from both he and Naruto.

"I'm sorry, boys. I'm just— just so nervous." She clasped her hands and gave them a helpless, green-eyed gaze. "Will you please promise to protect me? Always?"

" _Of course,_ Sakura-chan! Count on us-ttebayo!"

Sasuke sighed. "She wasn't serious, stupid."

" _I know that you jerk_! I was playing along!"

Sakura laughed, but was interrupted by a knock resounding through the room. Sasuke placed a finger to his lips, and he and Naruto took their positions by the ornate double-doors.

Quietly and elegantly—Sasuke had to admit— she opened the door, covering her painted, pink lips with a sleeve as she faced whoever was out there for her.

"Haruno-hime, your escort awaits you."

"Your highness," came Kakashi's voice, "Are you ready?"

"Of course!"

Feigning excitement, Sakura trotted out the door, Naruto and Sasuke behind her. Some fat guy in expensive linens made in the Uchiha district lead the way down the flamboyant hallway. Kakashi trailed in front of Sakura while he and Naruto walked behind her as her rearguard.

They stopped in front of a door after taking many hallways, and both the fat guy and Kakashi stepped aside for Sakura to gently knock on the hard, wooden doors. The two, identically armored samurai standing against the walls near the doors stiffened.

 _They're jumpy. Paranoid maybe?_

"Come in!" a muffled feminine voice vibrated through the carved designs on the door.

Sakura pulled on the brass handle and delicately stepped across the threshold. When Kakashi tried to walk in after her. The samurai both blocked his path with their swords.

Kakashi smiled and held his hands up. "Gentlemen, just because our people have had their differences doesn't mean that we should be hostile!"

The one on the left spoke through the metal guard over his face.

"A lady's room is for ladies only."

"You see, we've been _paid_ to keep an eye on our princess. So, you're interfering with our job here."

"That sounds like a personal problem to me," the one on the right growled, "go take it up with the daimyo. If I see a written consent form, I'll let you through. Until then, you and your riff-raff better keep your grimy sandals out of the princess' room."

And the door swung shut behind Sakura, clicking at the same time Sasuke's eyes _begged_ to be unleashed.

 _Riff-raff? Is he serious? Clearly neither of them know who we are and what lineages we come from. If they knew they'd cower in fear and kiss the earth we tread on._

"Very well. I'll be right back. Sasuke, Naruto, you'll keep a keen _eye_ on the door while I'm gone, won't you?" Kakashi might as well have winked.

Sasuke smirked with all the evil he could find in his soul, but it was Naruto who answered with even more mischief in his voice.

"Of course we will, _captain_ ," he promised, referring to Kakashi without any childish suffixes.

Sasuke activated his sharingan.

"You can count on us."

Kakashi left them to terrorize the samurai without a word, whistling a foreign, jolly tune. Naruto and Sasuke positioned themselves on the opposite wall, each directly across from one samurai.

The sharingan picked up the micromovements of the warrior he was facing. It seemed like he was nervous.

 _He better be while staring down these eyes._

-x-

The daimyo's daughter was perfect in every sense of the way. If **Sakura's** parents could have chosen a daughter, this girl would be it. Her long, blonde hair was smoother than Ino's, her skin was as pale as a geisha's and for a developing 13-year-old girl she was just curvy enough to be a notch above other girls in their age group. Her voice was sweet and soft as honey, her manners were so refined that even Sakura didn't know some of them and to top it all off, she had a sense of humor that made it fun to be around her. So, with all this in mind, Sakura didn't have a single clue as to why her crush refused to return her feelings. Like, at all.

It was officially noon, which meant it was teatime, and right on time, four uniformed palace servants in high-quality kimonos appeared to serve them tea. They were hard to distinguish as they all had brown hair tied up in a round bun. Somehow, they managed to balance all the tea items on trays as they floated over the little bridge above a charming brook that wound throughout the garden. They gracefully ghosted up the small steps to the pagoda they were in, and set the tea paraphernalia down between them, then bowed and asked if the two princesses needed anything else.

Hanako-hime shook her head and thanked them warmly. The servants smiled, loving every bit of her and then left. Hanako turned her head and gazed out at the multi-colored birds flitting from tree to tree. Every so often the birds would settle on the wooden border of the pagoda and gaze at them sideways in interest.

Today, Hanako was dressed in a beautiful purple and gold kimono. Her smooth hair was styled half-up and half down with intricate, sparkling hair ornaments that didn't look nearly as good in Sakura's hair. Something about Hanako-hime just seemed to make everything on and around her glow.

The servants were confused that morning when they styled Sakura's hair, wondering why it was so short, despite her elevated status. She gave them some half-baked excuse about genetically weak hair and split ends that they didn't seem to believe.

"Pining after him again?" Sakura smirked as she poured her tea and sipped. Hanako gasped, covering her pretty mouth and gaped at Sakura with wide, pale-pink eyes.

"I—I apologize, Sakura-hime. Here I am, enjoying our friendship yet ignoring you. Are you disappointed in me?"

Sakura shook her head.

"At home, I have a friend who likes a boy that I grew up with." Ino's face and her crush on Sasuke ghosted across her memory and she smiled. "The way she talks about him, you would think that he is a celestial being of some sort, here to save the world or something else equally impossible. He can do no wrong in her eyes. However, he's the _biggest jerk_ , like ever. He's overconfident, but has an inferiority complex at the same time. He's strong, but he isn't quiet about his talent. He carries himself like he's better than others and has way too much pride in his lineage. He's infuriating and I can count on both hands the amount of times we've actually gotten along."

That was a lie. Actually, she and Sasuke have been getting along better in recent times, but she refused to admit that to herself. A chill passed over her body and brought with it a feeling of dread and paranoia, but she ignored it. There was no way her team was near enough to hear their conversation.

 _You're just being paranoid, stop it._

"He has a pretty face and that's about all he has going for him. But you see, my point is that maybe Kazue-kun isn't as ideal as you may think he is."

Hanako gave her a pretty smile that could break any heart. "Sakura-hime, it seems to me that maybe you're the one with feelings for this boy."

"E-Eh!?" Sakura felt her face grow red before seeing Sasuke smirking in her mind. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the arrogance off his face. She composed herself and laughed instead. "Me and that guy? No way. If anything, I want to put him in his place, not court him. And I told you, just 'Sakura' is fine."

Hanako nodded and poured herself a cup of tea. Ordinarily, the servants would do it for her, but she insisted on privacy with Sakura everywhere they went.

"I think he may already like someone else," she murmured.

"Did he say he did?" Sakura sipped as elegantly as she could from her cup.

Hanako shook her head.

"He just bowed, apologized for not returning my feelings and left me in the garden. He said he had chores to do around the castle."

"Wait, hang on a second!" Sakura placed her cup down. "You said he had chores to do? Is that right?"

Hanako blinked at her, unsure of where she was taking the conversation.

"Well, yes. Is that important?"

Sakura almost face-palmed the makeup off her forehead.

"Hanako-chan!" she chastised, "Is he a worker here?"

Hanako blushed.

"Yes, but we used to play all the time as children. He is training to be a palace guard, but when he isn't in the barracks, he's doing things around the castle."

"Okay." Sakura took a deep breath, and pressed her palms together. "I think I know why he won't reciprocate."

Hanako leaned forward, excitedly. "Why is that?"

"Hanako, he probably thinks he has no chance with you."

She looked confused, fine blonde brows pinched together.

"But I already told him I like him."

Sakura shook her head.

"No, think about it. You're a princess. You have status. He doesn't. He probably thinks there is no chance that he can be with you forever, get it? Why date or have a fling when it can't go anywhere in the future? See?"

Hanako gasped and covered her mouth again, taking her hands away from her teacup as she leaned back in her chair.

"My goodness! It makes sense! Oh, Sakura-chan! What do I do?"

"I don't know. Will your father allow you to choose your future husband or is he going to require someone of status to marry you?"

Hanako threaded her fingers through the loose hair at the front of her face.

"I—I don't know. We haven't talked about that yet. I know that in the past, marriages have been arranged, but it depends on the person in power. Usually, it is acceptable for a prince to take a common woman, or whomever he chooses, but if it's the other way around it's complex. I'm not sure if the same rules apply."

"Maybe you should find out, then."

"What if I'm forced to marry someone I don't care for!" She clenched her fists at her chest.

"You might be able to convince him." But even Sakura knew that was a long shot. The double standard imposed on women was absolute. Every woman experienced it, no matter who they were. Kunoichi in shinobi villages were only recognized if they were on par with male shinobi and in the past were only allowed on infiltration missions where their femininity was a requirement. Outside of the shinobi system, in places of power double standards like the one Hanako explained plagued the female population in even greater magnitude. Why was it wrong for a princess to pick a common man, but not for a prince to pick a common woman? In Sakura's opinion it was stupid. Women were just as capable of leadership as men. Look at Tsunade-sama. If she hadn't refused the title so much, she would have been the hokage. Unfortunately, such feminist ideas weren't even a thought in the daimyo's court and if they were, then female ninjas must be looked at as abominations.

 _Thank goodness I wasn't born to live in a system like this one._

"I hope so. When we're done here, I'll speak with him."

Sakura shook her head. "Go now. I'll have my guards escort me to my room."

Hanako smiled. "Of course, Sakura-chan. I will stop by as soon as I am finished!"

"Best of luck, Hanako-chan."

Hanako stood and bowed low, flustering Sakura.

"You are truly the closest friend I've ever had. Thank you so much!" She ran off as fast as her kimono would allow her to before Sakura could respond. Two presences appeared behind her.

"My pretty face is all I have going for me? Really?" Sasuke growled. Sakura turned with a nervous smile. His eyes were red, the spinning, black irises daring her to lie to his face.

"Eh-heh-heh… you heard that?"

"I read your lips!" he hissed. Naruto snorted and rolled the sound into a laugh.

"She said you're confident but insecure. That was the best part," he snickered. Sasuke turned his head and nearly set Naruto's face on fire with his glare.

"Guys, stop fighting. I need to be escorted remember?" Sakura stood up and Sasuke turned his head.

"The only place I'm escorting you to is that river so I can drown you." He pointed outside the pagoda, where the brook babbled on.

"Why are you so offended? If those things aren't true then they shouldn't bother you."

Sasuke turned red when he opened his mouth to argue, but couldn't find the words. He clenched his teeth and walked ahead of both her and Naruto.

"Whatever let's go."

Naruto held out his arm for Sakura to take, but she blushed, and covered her face with her kimono sleeve. Sasuke had been looking and sighed.

"You're not supposed to touch a princess, stupid. Walk behind her."

"Oh," Naruto blinked, "I thought it would be okay if I behaved like a gentleman."

Sakura laughed. "I appreciate it anyway."

They followed Sasuke down the stairs of the pagoda. Sakura gazed at the Uchiha fan on his back.

 _Maybe I was a little harsh. I should apologize to him later…when Naruto goes to use the bathroom. Yeah, that's what I'll do._

-X-

 **Kakashi** Slid his sword through muscle and bone, impaling the assassin and pinning him to the wall at the same time. The man's hands and feet were tacked down with kunai and he was shaking in pain. The sword wasn't necessary for holding him down as much as it was for scaring him.

"Where are you from and who sent you?"

"None of your business Konoha _pig_. Fuck you and your self-righteous bullshit village!" the perpetrator spat into the night around them. Crickets chirped in the bushes that surrounded them and voices from the small party within the castle murmured around their ears. A feminine laugh or two sang out of the open window a few meters above their heads and Kakashi sighed. He contemplated just killing him, but he knew he needed to find out who sent him to complete his mission.

"I didn't want to have to do this the hard way."

The man's face was masked aside from his angry, black eyes, and he wore a black bodysuit—completely inconspicuous and nondiscriminating. Nothing about his clothing pointed to any specific country, which was a huge problem.

 _What do I write in my report if I can't find the person that wants her dead? That won't do._

"Sharingan," Kakashi whispered and placed the man under a genjutsu. Almost immediately, he began to hyperventilate. Kakashi quickly removed the weapons impaling him and dragged him further into the greenery surrounding the palace. He tied his arms and legs together and waited.

"The—the mission was given—

 _He cracked quickly. He's more muscle than brains._

"B-b-by Tsuchikage-sama. I don't—I don't know who the client is. Jun thinks it's the water daimyo. Because his daughter was insulted. He had to go to Iwa, because Kiri wouldn't raise a hand to the land of fire."

And he passed out.

 _I wish I could have shown you something nicer before your death._

He took a kunai and cut the man's throat from ear to ear, and sealed away his corpse when he started to bleed out. When the job was done, a piercing scream echoed throughout the forest from the party.

 _Shit_.

-X-

 **Sakura** had the sense to hide two kunai in the sleeves of her kimono. The small party—full of officials and others of high rank or status—was held to commemorate Hanako's sacred name day, and Sakura knew that if anything traumatic were to happen, this would be the place and time.

Thank all the good in the world that she did, too, otherwise, the shinobi with the wrapped face would have cut right through the both of them.

"S-Sakura-chan!?" Hanako was both confused and afraid as Sasuke and Naruto helped form a triangle around the princess. She was against a wall, making a defensive strategy easy, so long as they weren't separated.

Sakura's wooden sandals slid backwards on the marble floor. With a roar she shoved back the assailant, just enough to push him a step backwards. It gave her enough room throw a roundhouse that launched her sandal at his head. When her bare foot touched the ground, she lifted the other and did the same. He dodged both attacks, but his eyes looked surprised when they saw the sandals splinter into woodchips when they hit the marble walls.

"Sorry, Hanako-chan. I'm not a princess," Sakura paused, and then turned her head to meet Hanako's shocked, pink irises, "but I'll always be your friend. Get ready to run if necessary and listen to anything Sasuke and Naruto tell you, alright?"

Slowly, Hanako nodded and Sakura turned her head back to the battle.

Two shinobi— one female, the other male—launched at team seven as the party guests ran, screaming. Guards ushered the daimyo out of the ballroom, ignoring his cries for his daughter. Somewhere, glass shattered and metal platters hit the marble floor with a clang that echoed around the room and into Sakura's ears as Sasuke wove signs.

"Naruto!"

"Got it!"

"Grand fireball jutsu!"

"Gust jutsu!"

A fire so great that it even surprised Sakura engulfed the whole space in front of Sasuke and Naruto. Hanako gasped behind them all and Sakura smirked, taking a second to tear the bottom of her kimono up the sides of her legs. Her opponent launched at her, and she met his sword with her kunai. They began to move around each other, but it was clear to Sakura that their difference in skill was great. He was toying with her. They all were.

"Goodbye, little girl."

Just as he disappeared in front of her to kill her from behind, Kakashi-sensei showed up to block his blade with one of his own.

Sakura saw little blood spatters on his vest, and a tear in the black fabric of the long-sleeved shirt underneath.

 _He's already fought someone tonight. Thank you for coming, Kakashi-sensei._

-X-

Hanako launched herself at Sakura. Team seven's mission was complete, and it was time to go. The princess should have been sipping on tea or solving her romantic problems at this time, but she insisted on seeing Sakura off.

"Are you sure you can't stay to be my personal guard if not my guest?"

 **Sakura** patted her back.

"I have a lot of training waiting for me back at home, but you can always write to me, Hanako-chan."

The two girls pulled away and Hanako nodded.

"It hurts me to see you go, but I want you to fulfill your dreams as well. Will you write back?"

Sakura grinned.

"Without a doubt, Hanako-chan."

-X-

"Hey, Sasuke?" Sakura whispered next to him. **Sasuke** rolled his eyes. He was over being upset with her, but it didn't change the fact that she offended him. He knew her opinion of him wasn't stunning, but he didn't think it was that low. Somewhere inside, it stung him and he hated himself for being so bothered.

 _She called me a jerk. She ripped on my personality and even said that I have an inferiority complex._

He couldn't even bring himself to answer her. Instead, he looked at her, then back at Naruto babbling to Kakashi ahead of them.

"Listen, I didn't mean what I said about you back there, to Hanako-chan."

 _What?_

He looked at her and saw the guilty look on her face. He saw the remorse in her eyes.

"I—I used to think that about you, okay? Not anymore. You're a comrade and a teammate that I'm proud to have, and even a friend, if you're okay with that."

It made him feel a million times better, but he would never show it. Nope.

"Were you really tortured by that?" He gave her a pitiful look and she glared back at him, turning red.

"Wh- _What!?_ You've been cranky towards me this entire time and you're saying—you're saying that I had the wrong idea!?"

He gave her a bored look.

"You said that if I didn't think those things were true, they wouldn't bother me, right?" She looked at him intently and he shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. He looked ahead, but a moment later when he tilted his eyes to the side, he found a small smile on her lips that he liked.

 _Thanks for making me feel better, Sakura._

-X-

 **FILLER OVERRRRR! READ FROM HERE ON OUT FOR IMPORTANT STUFF!**

So, we all know I hate goodbyes, so I won't get into that. I'm not very good at goodbyes and they make me feel awkward. I will tell you though that I almost squeezed the life out of both Sasuke and Naruto when they left. I didn't want to let them go.

Sasuke, the brat, you wanna know what he said?

"I'm going to be in and out of the village, I don't know why you're hugging me like I'm gonna be gone for the next three years."

What a little brat! I pinched his nose and shoved him out the gate. I went the extra mile and told Kakashi to lose him on the road.

With that, my work began. I dressed up and went to the council chamber and took my seat. We were supposed to be meeting with the Kusakage. According to Fugaku-sama, we were to have a meeting with him about the benefits of an alliance with Grass. I don't know why Fugaku didn't just make his own official decisions about it, but we all appreciated the fact that he wanted us in on a decision like this. When he and Tsunade-sama walked in, I was shocked at who trailed in behind them, decked out in green and white kage robes.

"One!" I whispered it, but he must have heard anyway and winked at me as he took a seat in between Yuki and some other buff guy in a bandana that I didn't know. Yuki wore a beautiful blue and white kimono with a slit up its side. Her long legs were covered with leggings and her hair was braided elaborately on top of her head. She smiled at me too, and even waved. It was good to see her confident and doing well, apparently. The guy on One's left was huge. Like massive. Each of his rock-hard-looking muscles were covered with scars, just a few shades lighter than his tanned skin. He had long, jet-black hair tied in a ponytail at the top of his head.

I tilted my head and made eye contact with Itachi. He was just as surprised as I was.

One? The Kusakage? It was incredible, but I gotta tell ya, I knew that kid was going places the moment we talked at the exams.

Fugaku was also dressed in his kage robes. He had to put on the same kind of show that One did, right? 'Can't be upstaged in his own village. He cleared his throat as he sat down.

"Today, we're here to discuss the relationship between Kusa and Konoha." Not one for fanfare, he turned his head to One, who cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter in his seat.

"I'm glad we can get right down to business. You all know that my country is small and its reputation is miniscule at best. I'm trying to change that. In fact, I already have in many ways. Today, I would like to ally with Konoha. Many of our mutual enemies come through my country. Naturally, we don't want them in our territory but we don't have the numbers to start a war to force them out and make them stay out. I would like Konoha's backing in our alliance, in exchange for information on the foreigners that we gather day by day. We will be your ears if you will allow us to use your name."

"Scare off your own enemies. I won't send my clansmen to growl at some stupid Suna nin when you can do it yourself."

One smirked at Tsume. I appreciated the balls she had to say that to a kage, young or not.

"Ah, the Inuzuka clan, correct?" He didn't wait for her to finish. "I believe I've seen your clansmen in my country before—picking the kumikai root for canine illnesses, if I'm not mistaken. Our alliance would give you unlimited access to the flora in our region. Konoha shinobi would so be welcomed on Grass lands."

Tsume growled and the air felt charged as she said, "Are you saying you'd go out of your way to deny access to those roots?"

Aaaaaand this is why Tsume isn't hokage.

Shikaku interrupted just in time by clearing his throat and saying, "I don't think an alliance would be a bad idea. Are your people in any immediate danger?"

One shrugged. "We're holding out so far, but it's only a matter of time until some country decides to take what we've built. When that time comes, I hope I'll be able to count on Konoha for backup." One held his eyes with a determined expression on his face.

"And in return you'll give us supplies? Such as the kumikai root?" Shikaku repeated to confirm the terms.

"And more. There are medicinal herbs we've discovered in recent times that aren't in any known medical texts. I believe medicine is another of Konoha's specialties. Grass' land is rich and plentiful. There are many materials your village can find useful, not just in the field of medicine."

Shikaku slid his eyes to Itachi, who smiled.

"It is hard to forget your sincerity and bravery, Kusakage-sama. It feels as if the chunin exams just happened yesterday," Itachi opened up, "The Uchiha clan will happily stand at your back, as you've stood at mine in the past. All I ask in return is access to the mountains which harbor your rarest stones. Jewelry and weaponry are popular in the district and it would serve the clan's businesses well to expand our inventory. Is this agreeable?"

"The mountains are yours to roam, Uchiha-sama."

There was a light in One's eyes that reflected in Itachi's. I found it funny too. Back at the exams, One referred to Itachi as just "Itachi" and we called him "One." It was comical referring to each other in such formal terms.

"I agree with Shikaku," Choza chimed in, "I see no harm in having more friends abroad, especially friends situated near Suna. As much as they've become our allies, they still betrayed us in recent times. It would be nice to have eyes and ears looking out for us on the outside."

Can't argue with that.

"Assuming we're not fed false information and betrayed again," Tsume chimed in, her arms crossed.

"I don't see a problem with it. Should our feud with Kumo and Iwa worsen, it would be wise to have small forces scattered across the map. I don't know why we haven't approached other small countries with the same kind of offer," Inoichi agreed, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back in his seat. "I would suggest keeping our alliance a secret, though— one only to reveal when absolutely necessary."

"It is true that Grass is abundant in materials as well as bug species my clan has yet to have an opportunity to study," Shino's dad murmured. "I agree with Uchiha-san, and am in favor of the idea of safe access to the land."

Hiashi looked bored when Shikaku looked at him.

"I have no idea why we are sitting here and debating this when hokage-sama has already made up his mind," he slid pale eyes towards Fugaku, who raised a brow.

"It is to show respect for the clans, is that not true, hokage-sama?" Shino's dad fixed his sunglasses and turned his gaze towards Fugaku, who nodded.

"I am not the only person who lives in this village and you all know your people much better than I do. You carry eyes that can discern what would or wouldn't benefit our home, so making and dissolving alliances shouldn't be up to me alone. I have my own thoughts on the matter, but here, your voices ring louder than mine. Please remember that."

Well said, Fugaku. Well said.

Itachi looked at me and I realized I was the last person to speak again.

"Uzumaki-san?" One gently urged. I smiled at him.

"I'm with Itachi. You had my back, so I have yours. My clan is tiny, but we're here for you if necessary."

"Your clan isn't as tiny as you think, but we can address that after the alliance is written and signed, providing it passes." One looked back to Fugaku who nodded.

"Its settled then." He summoned a scroll and we all passed it around and signed it, Tsume grumbling about how her signature shouldn't be on such a foolish document.

We all bowed to each other when it was done. Itachi was swamped with work, so he was the first to leave, abandoning me to the chatter of my elders. Thankfully, Fugaku tapped my shoulder and bent down to whisper in my ear while One was entertaining Choza and Inoichi, trying hard to make Tsume like him.

"Come to my office as soon as you get out of here. Kusakage-san has something for you."

I had a feeling I knew what it was. He said that my clan wasn't as tiny as I think. He probably wants to tell me that an Uzumaki is living in his village— Karin.

I nodded. "Understood."

I watched in silence as Fugaku walked over to One, Yuki and the buff dude, interrupted their conversation, and flowed out of the room with efficient grace.

I stayed behind in the emptying chamber to talk to Shikaku for a bit, before making my own departure and heading straight to the hokage tower. I was let into Fugaku's office by Tsunade before I could even finish knocking and when I scanned the room, I found One, Yuki and Buff Dude standing in front of Tsunade and Fugaku. Tsunade was seated at her desk in front of a stack of papers and a tall bottle of sake and Fugaku was standing in front of his. All the way to the right of the room, next to a window, sat a little pink-haired girl in a bland, wooden chair.

Karin.

She was staring at me with wide, enamored eyes, her glasses slipping off her face, a little big on her child-sized head. She was dressed in a beige shirt beneath an open, purple jacket, and wide, dark shorts. Her Kusa headband was proudly displayed on her forehead and her unevenly-layered hair was loose around her face.

I bowed to the room in greeting.

"Six!" One waved his hand, completely at ease, his dark eyes shining something happy and mysterious all at once.

"Hey, One. What's up?"

Buff Dude did _not_ like me saying that. A spark of rage shot through his chakra and I saw Karin flinch from the corner of my eye. She felt it, too.

"That's _Kusagake-sama_ to you."

One held up his hand and gave him a cold look.

"It's okay, Juudo." It was a reassuring phrase but I heard a threat in his voice, something that sounded a lot like, " _shut the fuck up_." When he turned his eyes back to me, he was grinning again. He held his hand out to the side, indicating Karin.

"I present to you Uzumaki Karin-san. She's been wanting to meet her distant family for quite some time now."

Karin shot to her feet and immediately bowed.

"P-pleased-pleased to meet you!" She sounded like she had been running for the last ten minutes, breathless and flustered. I almost laughed at how cute it was. I walked up to her and bent over, putting my hands on top of my thighs and trying to see beneath the curtain of hair hanging over her face.

"Hey, you don't have to be nervous. We're kin, right? It's nice to meet you! I'm Uzumaki Yuzuha. Shake my hand!"

When she looked up, she eyed my hand strangely. Yes, it was weird in this world but it was my thing. Suck it. She slowly reached out and when she grasped my hand she gently shook it. I kept smiling at her, excited to actually meet her and happy that she somehow managed to avoid Orochimaru, probably because of One's involvement in the politics of his country.

"Kusa-Ka-Kage holds you in high estee-esteem. He told me a lot about you," she explained, trying to find a confident tone as we let each other go.

"Did he now?" I turned to One and raised an eyebrow. He shrugged with a guilty blush on his face under his hat.

"You should tell her what you've been thinking," he turned the spotlight back onto Karin and she gaped at him with wide, terrified eyes, pointing at herself.

" _Me?"_

One nodded. Karin bit her lip and turned her eyes back to me, her face pinched with anxiety.

"M-my mom is sick," she started and looked down. "We brought her here to see if she can be helped. Tsunade-sama told me that she's going to have to stay here for a while, so—

"Yes," I interrupted her. She was surprised and blinked at me.

"You wanted to know if I'd accept you and allow you to stay with me for now, right? Like a temporary resident?"

I looked at Fugaku and when he nodded, I turned back to Karin.

"Yes," she nervously exhaled.

"Okay, so as long as you went through the paperwork and the proper procedures I don't see a problem with it."

"Well…" She fidgeted and I don't think she knew exactly how to say what she wanted to say next. One cleared his throat, stepping behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Karin-chan's mother isn't likely to make it. I brought her here to ask you if you would take her on permanently."

I narrowed my eyes.

"What about your village? Your kage?" I looked down and searched her soul for a glimmer of doubt. They shouldn't uproot her if she doesn't want to leave.

"I-I want to be with family!" She gripped the hem of her purple jacket. "I don't have much waiting for me in Kusa, as much as I love and respect my kage."

I see now. She still must have suffered some sort of abuse there. I wouldn't want to go back either, in that case. I looked at One and the look in his dark eyes was hollow, and sad.

I shrugged. "I don't have a problem with that. If Hokage-sama is alright with it, you have a place next to me." A small, grateful smile spread across her lips— it was all I could really expect from a girl about to lose her mother. She looked more relieved than excited.

"We'll discuss the details of that later," Fugaku's deep tone was unfocused and when I turned to him to nod, he was looking out the window, his brow furrowed.

"Dismissed?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Dismissed."

 **FILLER BEGINS HERE!**

I bowed to the room, shot Karin one last smile and then left. When I came home, Shisui was already in my kitchen, eating my last apple with his feet kicked up on my other kitchen chair. He flashed me a peace sign when I walked in and nodded at him. Yawning I leaned against the kitchen counter and rubbed my face.

"You should nap."

I gave him a flat look.

"The pot calls the kettle black. You have bags under your eyes. Long night? Maybe _you_ should nap."

He shot me a sad-looking smirk.

"I'd rather not right now."

I understood the cryptic double-meaning. Something fucked up happened if he doesn't even want to sleep to deal with it. I wasn't at liberty to ask, though.

"Okay. Well, I'm hungry so I'm going to go to the market to do some grocery shopping. Want to come?"

He moved to jump out of his seat, but I held my hand up, stopping him midway.

"I came home to change so just give me a sec."

I went through my drawers, picked out a loose t-shirt and tight leggings and then went to the bathroom. I can't go do leisurely things in fancy clothes. Not happening.

On our way to town…something batshit insane happened. In the middle of the throngs and throngs of people, a circle started glowing in the ground. It looked like a seal. You guys know _exactly_ what I thought when I saw the rays of light rising from the dirt road:

 _Stephanie_?

Shisui had already drawn his sword and I already had my fans in-hand. We were running towards the light, probably the only off-duty shinobi in the market. Women started screaming, pulling their children away, completely unprepared for the sight. Wisely, the crowd backed away from the circle, pressing themselves against the buildings. A cop lunged at some guy trying to commit suicide by jumping at the thing. K saw him restrain him from the corner of my eye.

"Uzumaki-sama! Stay back!" some other cop begged, but I ignored them, ducking between and around people in the crowd, confident at Shisui's side.

That fucking bitch.

 _I'm going to cut you down before you have an opportunity to take a single breath in this village._

Shisui said they escaped with a seal. Maybe they can appear with a seal too.

It fucking has to be them.

The light became an angry pink firenado of light in a burst of sound that reminded me of a thunderstorm. The crowd screamed and people started to run. I slid to a halt.

Transportation seals don't usually do that.

"Hang on!" I turned to warn Shisui, but when I turned my head back after he halted next to me, the light brightened like a flash bang in a video game, and I couldn't see.

I felt Shisui's hand on my wrist, and I felt comforted to have his chakra near me, but I still felt weird. I was nauseous and every one of my bones and muscles seemed to conduct or channel a sound wave— as if someone was playing music through my body. Every bone, muscle and tissue was warping back and forth and I thought for a second that maybe, my time had come.

When my vision cleared, I was in a dense forest. No one around for miles.

A bird squawked somewhere and it seemed to be mid-afternoon. It was a little hot, and I thought that was weird considering that the temperature was mild just a second ago.

"Yuzu?" Shisui's whisper held a tone of concern and I felt his thumb drag across the bone of my wrist.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I looked up at his confused countenance. "Are you alright?"

He nodded, looking around after holding my gaze for just a second.

"Where are we? This _smells_ like Konoha, but it isn't. How did we get here?"

"I don't know, but we better start walking. There's no one around for miles. We must still be in Fire country, but we're not near Konoha. I can't feel a single person. There's animals, but no people."

"Let's get going. We're somewhere West, I think. Let's start heading east. We should hit some towns before we get to Konoha, right?"

I nodded. It was a damn good plan. We moved, both on high alert.

I have a bad feeling that we're kind of fucked.

-X-

Itachi arrived with a squadron of officers in response to the emergency signal. Three of his policemen were standing around the site, keeping vigilant guard, though there were no people to guard the site from. Konoha's civilians knew what procedures to take in the event of a possible attack, and if the report he was given was accurate, what happened had more than just looked like an attack. Two well-known people had disappeared— his closest childhood friends.

The people that had appeared in their place had allowed themselves to be detained and instead, were asking for help. Konoha's anbu were already on their way to take them to T&I and Itachi was thankful that the situation hadn't turned violent.

The girl had long red hair, pinned back on one side with an expensive, ruby barrette. Her eyes were alert, and coal black. She wore a kimono-style black dress, her exposed legs covered in tight, plum leggings and tall black boots. Her Konoha headband was pinned to the white obi at her waist. When she saw him, her mouth dropped. Itachi was surprised at the recognition in her face. It brought back bad memories of the last person he wasn't familiar with that recognized him. His muscles tensed, ready for a fight if necessary.

"Chief!" His high-ranking officer saluted him.

Itachi couldn't bring himself to give him any more than a quiet nod.

The male with the girl seemed more at ease. His short, straight hair was as ebony as his eyes, one cowlick at the front-left side of his head pushing part of his bangs to the side. He wore a simple, white v-neck tunic, beneath a long, black jacket. His navy pants tucked into tall boots. His headband was proudly displayed on his forehead. They both looked about the same age—thirteen— the girl maybe a year younger.

The boy also blinked at him, surprised.

"No…freakin'… way," he breathed, and then tried to glare at his companion, despite them being tied back to back. "Dude, your seal _sucks_! I thought we were gonna get transferred to that hotel in Kiri, and instead we're, like, three thousand years in the past, what gives!?"

"Shut up! Don't say things like that in the open, _idiot_! God damn it, mom is going to be so mad. We're screwed. Screwed."

"State your names."

The boy took a huge breath, but the girl smashed her shoulder against his as best as she could in their compromised position.

That was when Itachi saw it— the symbol. It was the Uchiha fan, but it had a black swirl spiraling over it. He narrowed his eyes.

"We can't tell you who we are— we might screw up the timeline," she murmured, pleading with her eyes for mercy. "I swear, we just need to get home as soon as possible."

It was then that Ibiki-san appeared with his own squadron.

"They're non-violent, we heard." He looked down at Itachi, one of his eyebrows raised, indicating a question. Itachi nodded in response.

"They've been fully cooperating so far. We need an audience with the hokage before they're interrogated."

Ibiki-san looked confused.

"Why is that?"

"They may be a question as to who's prisoners they are. They bear the Uchiha fan on their backs, which would make them the clan's detainees. I would like to question them first myself, but I understand if the hokage deems that your unit should question them instead."

"Heh, you act like you've never trained with us, Itachi-kun," Ibiki smirked, "Don't waste the hokage's time. How about you team up with my unit and we do this together? They could be fakers."

"What? We _are_ Uchiha! _Look_!" A moment later, the black of the boy's eyes became red and the familiar tomoe of the sharingan spun around his pupils."

"Well shit, Uchiha. They're all yours."

-X-

"No way."

That was an understatement, if I've ever heard one.

Uchiha fuckin' Madara. Standing right there, next to his little brother, both alive and young, about our ages now. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing shit.

"Is that— is that really?"

Madara drew his fan.

"What is an Uchiha doing with an Uzumaki?" Izuna growled, pointing a finger at Shisui and I, half turned towards them, weapons drawn. His eyes were angry in the orange light of the setting sun, poking holes through the canopy of trees above.

They had just appeared behind us. They must've had a summoning animal track us from the moment we entered their territory.

I don't need to tell you that this is bad for you to know exactly how fucked we are.

" _Murder him in cold blood."_

Kurama was _not_ happy.

" _I can't do that. What if Konoha is never formed? If I raise a hand against him now I might cease to exist!"_

" _You'll pass on as a soul. Don't you want that?"_

" _What? Hell No! I like being here. Didn't I tell you I'm crazy already?"_

He growled.

" _I don't like you."_

" _I know. Just deal with it for now. Let me handle this."_

"Brother, we should detain them. They're breaking the law!"

"They?" Madara raised a brow and turned his head towards Izuna.

" _Him_. Does it matter? He is consorting with the enemy!"

Shisui narrowed his eyes and took a step to position himself in front of me, just partially. It put both brothers on edge and within the next second, three pairs of sharingan eyes were staring each other down, ignoring me completely.

Big mistake. Do they think I'm weak? I reading my chakra beneath my skin, just so they would know I'm serious.

"Where do you hail from, Uchiha?" Madara asked. I sensed the snarky retort Shisui wanted to reply with, but he kept it professional.

"I can't say. We ask for passage, that's all. No one has to know that we met here."

Izuna gaped then glared. He spun his torso towards his elder brother in question. What would Madara do?

His choice is going to make not break this situation. I didn't see hostility or coldness in his eyes, just calculation and thoughtfulness.

 _That's right_. This is before he became a total dick.

"I cannot allow you to pass."

He turned to Izuna. "Go back to the compound and report what we found to father."

What!? No!

"Hey! Hold on!" I protested but Madara's glare shut me up just long enough for him to growl.

"Hold your tongue, _woman_."

My mouth dropped. No he _didn't_ just say that! What kind of bullshit, condescending tone of voice is that!? I took a huge breath to start shouting a valiant and righteous speech, but Shisui interrupted me.

"What did you just say to her?"

I've known Shisui for years, but I've never heard that much venom and darkness in his voice. I gaped at him and somewhere in my chest and stomach I felt funny. He made me feel feminine and protected but not in a bad way.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I getting my period? Jesus Yuzuha, stop blushing!

Madara smirked as Izuna disappeared. A few seconds later, when I sensed the younger brother's chakra move further and further away, Madara placed his fan on his back and held his palms up.

"Put down your weapons. I have a proposition for you both."

We dropped our arms, though we didn't let go of our weapons. Madara eyed our blades warily, but it seemed good enough for him.

"Tell me how you've come to be lovers in an era this turbulent for both our clans."

Shisui and I looked at each other before blushing and whipping our heads back at Madara.

"It's not like that!" We both shouted. I wished the ground would swallow me up. How embarassing. He gave us annoyed expression.

"Yes and I am a Hyuuga princess," he replied sarcastically and Shisui actually snorted. He chuckled and then turned to me with a wink.

 _Follow along_ , his expression said, before he turned back to Madara and set his shoulders a little straighter.

My heart began to race. We're liars by profession, but we're about to fucking lie to a legend! "My mother wanted to stay out of the conflicts, so she had me elsewhere. She told me of what life was like in the compound, so I'm not ignorant to your lifestyle. It wasn't long before there was a battle that she died protecting me in. These eyes helped me get away." He touched his cheekbone beneath his right eye and gave the lush, darkening grass beneath his feet a thousand-yard stare, making a good show of remembering something traumatic.

"That was when my grandmother found him," I chimed in, seeing where he was going with this.

"I must have been nine. Was that when we met?" he asked me. I nodded. "Anyway, we grew up together. Grandmother died recently and our home was destroyed." He sheathed his sword and took my hand, squeezing tightly, like a lover would. I refrained from squeezing my eyes shut and tried to keep my blush down. I moved closer and let my one fan dangle from my wrist between our legs.

"We set out to seek asylum with the rest of my clan," I added to his story, "We never intended to wander into Uchiha territory."

" _Ever_." Shisui added with a glare.

"If you hate your heritage so much, _Uchiha_ , why do you bear our symbol on your back? Travel would be easier in disguise." He wasn't buying our bullshit, oh my god.

Shit. Shit. Quick Shisui! Think!

He smirked, not a hint of nervousness in his entire body. "On the contrary, it keeps many threats away."

After a pause during which he scrutinized us, Madara sighed. "My clansmen will be here any moment."

"They're already on their way," I crossed my arms, "We only have about five minutes before they get here." Not gonna lie I tried to sound bored so I'd look cooler because my pride was hurt earlier. Call me childish, I don't care.

"Ah, the famed Uzumaki sensory ability. I see how you managed to avoid detection for so long."

"Is it too much to ask for us to be let through? I only want a safe place for us to live."

Nice, Shisui. We might just be able to convince him to give us a head start now that his shithead little brother isn't here.

Please let us go so we can find a way home.

"I cannot do that because there are many people aware of your presence here, but I'll tell you what I can do. Tie up your woman and bring her to our compound as a prisoner. You will be respected as a hero and when the time comes, I can help you both escape."

"Why not just let us go now?"

"And allow my clansmen to question my power and capability of babysitting two questionable people? No. You crossed into my territory, thus you owe me this respect. Take this offer, or face my jutsu. The choice is yours."

When Shisui turned to me, I already had my wrists held out. He gave me a tortured look.

"I'm not going to treat you like an animal like this," he murmured and dragged his thumb across my palm in circles.

"Don't worry about it," I shook my head, "This is the best offer we're getting. We have no choice but to take it _or else_." He knew what that meant. He knew of we cause too much trouble we could fuck up the timeline.

"Do you have any idea what it is like to be a female prisoner in a cell in enemy territory?" he bent down and whispered into my ear.

"Well, do you?" I whispered back, but before he could rip me a new one for being a smartass, I said, "I can handle myself. Trust me."

It was enough for him, though when he pulled away from me, he gave me a worried look. I shook my head and Madara walked up to us with a seal-covered cloth in his hands.

"Your comrade from before will get suspicious, don't you think?" Shisui asked as he bound my wrists. "She didn't exactly look like my prisoner when you two happened upon us."

"We can make something up. Let me handle that."

Shisui pulled the cloth tight and tugged my arms further behind my back. You would think he'd be a little nicer, but prisoners don't get a lot of space to move, do they?

I sighed. This is bullshit. Why do I get the short end of the stick?

Madara looked at me with calculating eyes. "I can tell that you are not ordinary."

I raised a brow in question.

"From now on, you are a political prisoner— an Uzumaki noblewoman, as far as my clan is concerned. It will ensure your safety in the cells for now."

 _For now._ Lovely. I'll take it.

"Okay."

"You will stick to your story of being raised outside the compound. Make no mention of knowing your woman. Understood?"

"Of course," Shisui smiled.

"Lastly, what are your names?"

"Uchiha Shisui."

"Uzumaki Yuzuha."

"Madara-sama!" A male voice echoed in the growing darkness of the forest. The sun was nearly set and it was becoming hard to see. I saw a few torches burning between tree trunks nearby.

Madara gave us one last look before turning to face his clansmen.

Shisui pulled me closer to his body and I prayed that this wouldn't get ugly.

We need to find a way home, stat.

-X-

Okay! So these next couple chapters are going to be fun fillers and character development and some plot development. Each chapter I will be let you know what's filler and what's not. If you want to skip the filler parts you can, and if not, you can read to your heart's content. We've approached the timeskip portion of cannon (or canon, I still am not sure of the god-damn spelling) so this is just going to be me having fun for now, and making you YUZUSHI shippers happy lol

IN OTHER NEWS!

My book is going well! I've been busy working on something I want you guys to check out! I have an official website! Yaaaaaaaay! With an official blog!

More yaaaaay! 

So head over to .com! You'll get to find out a little bit about my book and myself as a writer/potential author! I'm excited to hear from you guys! So head over there and check stuff out!

See you, Space Cowboy!

-X-

Disclaimer: Suck my d— I ain't repeating myself!


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